The Long Way Home
by First Blush
Summary: At the close of WWII Private Jasper Whitlock finds himself heading to Berlin where he will face the biggest challenge of his short life. Survival in the midst of the falling Iron Curtain will test his vow to Alice to make it home and tell the stories of those who don't make it out alive. Captured and held by an enemy, Jasper clings to the words that will lead him home…Love, Alice
1. Chapter 1

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

**_The banner for this story and this chapter can be found through my profile or at: _**http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/

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**Prologue**

Alice cradled a steaming hot cup of tea tightly against her chest as she ascended the stairs. Darkened rooms and an empty hall echoed her padded footsteps as she made her way around the banister and toward her room. She could feel the comforting warmth of the tea settle against her chilled skin. It was a pale echo of the warm touch she'd only dreamt of, but that was only a dream and one she kept closely guarded in her heart.

The only light in the room came through the window from the lamppost below. But, despite the darkened shadows, Alice felt comforted in the old house. The dark was not oppressive; rather it was a warm blanket that swaddled her like a newborn.

Alice tiptoed forward across the hardwood and delicately maneuvered herself around piles of boxes. Each would be picked up by the movers in the morning and transported to her new home. Alice shook her head and quickly turned her thoughts away from the impending move; that was for tomorrow. Tonight she was allowing herself a simple but precious gift. _Time. _Tonight she would take time to remember, to relish, and to relive her dreams before laying them all to rest.

The tea was placed neatly on the window seat while she went in search of her favorite afghan. It was a putrid shade of brown, but the comforting scent and warmth it provided more than made up for its distasteful color. Alice pulled the coveted blanket from its resting place and wrapped it around her shoulders. As she walked, she looked like the cloaked Aurora making her way up the spiral staircase of her father's ancient castle.

Alice sat gingerly on the window seat so as not to upset her tea. The steaming cup wafted around her most precious possessions. They weren't valuable in worldly terms but to her heart, they were more treasured than any flawless gemstone. _Jasper's letters. _She picked up her favorite, the pages well-worn from countless re-reading, and placed it on her lap. The words no longer needed to be read—she had them all memorized. The feel of the indentations that his pen had once made in the paper brought her a little closer to the hand that had touched her heart. She wouldn't read the words tonight. No. Instead she pulled her knees to her chest, pressing the worn pages of his letter against her heart. She stretched out her fingers until they caught the edge of the teacup handle and slid it ever so carefully into her grasp. With the tea warming her fingers, and Jasper's words warming her heart, Alice stared blindly out the window and into the drifting snowflakes that danced in the night.

AjajajA

Across town a man dumped a well-worn duffel bag into the trunk of his cab and shivered against the wind. His tired passenger had already climbed into the backseat without a single word. The young man had hailed him from the bus depot's curb, but seemed to barely have the strength to lift his own arm. With a quick pull, the trunk slammed shut beneath the cabbie's hands. The cold metal nearly stuck to his fingers like a wet tongue against a metal pole. He quickly hurried around the side of the car and jumped back into the cab. A violent tremor rushed through him. In response, he blew heated air into his clasped fingers to warm them against the November chill.

"Where to, son?"

The cabbie's young passenger handed a note over the seat without any further acknowledgment. Looking down at the scribbled note, the cabbie instantly knew he wouldn't have any trouble finding the old colonial on the far edge of town. He turned the key, bringing the old car to life, and checked his mirrors before putting the car into drive. His eyes stayed on the rear view a moment longer than necessary, and acknowledging how his passenger was dressed, he tried once again to make small talk.

"Good time of the year to be comin' home with Thanksgiving only being a few days away," he said kindly. "You stayin' with family?"

The passenger's painfully scratchy voice startled the cabbie. It sounded like it belonged more to an old man rather than this young lad.

"Not family," he replied.

The young man closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat. His body was exhausted, but his mind bounced with anxious possibilities. Without conscious thought, he reached inside his jacket to delicately touch his talisman for comfort. It was a well-worn scrap of paper, no bigger than a quarter. The delicate edges were so worn that the fibers felt more like cloth, than crisp writing paper. The ink that had once been fresh and blue was now faded to nothing more than the faintest of images. It didn't matter, for he would always remember the two simple words emblazoned in ink. They had kept him afloat during months of agonizing fear, hunger, loneliness and hell. Tonight, those words would carry his heart to the only home it had ever known. His fingers lightly traced the paper, and in his mind he repeated her words written long ago.

_Love, Alice_

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A/N: Thank you for reading and let me know what you think.

-First Blush


	2. Chapter 2 Dear Alice

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. Special thanks to Kalimando and _****_radar1230_****_ for helping me with the details of Jasper's horses referenced in this chapter. The banner for this story and this chapter can be found through my profile or at: _**http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/

The prologue gives you an idea of where we're going but this chapter begins one year ago, in November of 1944. We're giving Jasper and Alice a chance to tell you not only how their love story ends but how it began.

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**Dear Alice: _November, One Year Ago_**

The loud clump of Jasper's army boots sounded like the flop of a flat tire hitting the pavement. His eyes, half lidded with sleep, barely recognized the building that loomed before him. He wondered briefly if he'd have the strength necessary to manage the barracks door. With a creak and a groan, he shoved his weight against the frame until it gave way. The cedar wood smell that hit him was an empty but welcomed homecoming. Once inside, he leaned with his back against the opposite side of the door and exhaled in relief. He'd never felt more exhausted at any other moment in his life. All the training in the world could not have prepared him for the battle he'd waged today. In a matter of seconds, he'd gone from feeling fear, to betrayal, to numbing shock. But at the end of it all, it was the enemy who lay broken and bleeding around him.

_Thank God, _he thought_._

Jasper carried a mix of emotions over the threshold of his room. Satisfaction and self-hatred were his new companions. He had taken a life, justifiably so, but nonetheless it had been by his own hand.

The moles and the threats that they'd imposed had been successfully extinguished. Jasper shook his head and licked the barely clotted wounds on his knuckles before tossing his bag unceremoniously into the corner of the small room. It landed with a satisfying thud and awoke a cloud of dust motes from their entombed slumber. As the drifting cloud permeated the room, Jasper's unseeing eyes followed the floating dust over toward the tiny but inviting bed. His feet would dangle over the edge, as always, and freeze for lack of covering, but that hardly mattered. At the very least it was soft and dry. All other thoughts left him except for the physical bliss he was certain that sleep would generously provide. Not hunger, not loneliness, not even worry could stop his feet from dragging him forward until he flopped on his bed like a side of beef. The last thing that registered in his mind was the sound of the key to his footlocker being dropped like a dart onto the wooden floor beneath him.

j~JJJ~j

Jasper sucked in a deep breath and groaned. Every muscle in his body felt like it had cramped up with the few hours rest he'd granted himself. His eyes remained closed in a stubborn attempt to steal a few more hours of shuteye. Unfortunately, his mind wouldn't release him back to the peace of exhaustion driven unconsciousness. The alarm clock by his bed clicked in an angry tone, banging like a hoof beat against the side of his head. Jasper sighed. To him, hoof beats were like a lullaby playing in his head, but the static click of the alarm clock was nothing close to the beauty of a well trained animal. His mind automatically drifted to memories of his horse, Ria. She was a beautiful animal, sleek, powerful, smart, and goddamned fast. He loved riding her, feeling the power of her strides as they tended the cattle and playfully chased down the day. The stark walls that currently surrounded him were a far cry from the beautiful rolling plains of his home in west Texas. Jasper sighed once more and resigned himself to the end of his slumber.

He slowly pried one eye open; it was dark, of course. He had fallen asleep somewhere around seven in the evening, just as the sun's afternoon rays had kissed the horizon. By his best guess, lacking the light necessary to read the alarm clock, it was roughly four am. No, he didn't need a clock to figure that out. Fifteen months of exactly seven hours of sleep has an effect on a man. Jasper curled into a ball, pulling his toes back underneath the green woolen blanket.

_Damn, they were cold._

He reached down between the layers of warmth to try to rub some circulation and heat back into the tips of his frozen limbs. He gave up after a short while and rose to a sitting position, figuring that adding shoes might help at least a little bit. _It didn't. _In fact, he felt dramatically colder the moment his socked feet touched the wooden floor. He groaned and tapped the radiator behind his bed frame with his mess kit. The radiator's response was a coughing hiss that seemed to bring it back to life. Jasper was mildly pleased that the mess kit had served a greater purpose this morning. It certainly wasn't fulfilling the function of providing culinary delights. Army food provided sustenance, no more, no less.

Jasper pressed his palms into his eye sockets, trying hard to pull himself from the stupor of sleep. As his eyes opened a second time, he saw it. Across the small aisle from him was the empty bunk of his young partner, Seth Winterbothem.

Seth was a good kid but very green. He was younger than Jasper by a year or so. He was smart, kind and had a wicked sense of British humor. Jasper had liked him from the start. Now he could only pray that his friend was still alive and that he would see him soon. A few days ago, Seth had been attacked at knifepoint by the worst kind of traitor, a double agent. Jasper shook his head in disgust.

_It should have been me on the watch at that hour. It should have been me who'd been attacked. _

These useless thoughts continued to plague Jasper's mind as he recounted the attack. He'd been asleep on a cot inside Bella's room when a loud crashing noise had him running in the direction of the scuffle. Just outside Bella's door lay his partner, Seth, gasping for air while Edward struggled to fend off the attacker. Jasper didn't think; he only reacted by propelling himself toward the assailant. Now the only peace that Jasper had to hold on to was the satisfying sound of the attacker's head being slammed onto the linoleum. In his mind, he hadn't saved Edward or Seth from the attack, but he'd at least he earned a small serving of retribution for them.

Despite Jasper's self flagellation, the truth was that he _had_ saved his friend and his partner. He had also saved Bella, Edward's wife, who was lying incapacitated not thirty feet from the attacker. Jasper wouldn't allow himself any comfort in their safety; he only felt the weight of responsibility for Seth's injuries. After all, it was_ his_ strategy they followed when planning out the watch schedule. It was_ his_ plan that had allowed him enough sleep to manage the drive to Gourock the following morning. It was_ his_ plan that had put his partner, the least experienced of the three of them, on that fateful watch at three am.

Jasper felt that it was his responsibility to look out for Seth. Edward was the lead, but he was also sick with worry over Bella who, despite the strength of her character, had at best, a tenuous hold on her physical health.

_No, Edward had other things on his mind, and rightfully so, _Jasper thought._ It should have been me taking care of Seth._

At that very moment, Jasper made up his mind to request some leave so he could check on his partner's health.

_Surely they would agree to that, wouldn't they?_

Jasper rubbed his eyes once more in worry. Another chill hit him, and he moved his hands to his thighs and tried to make enough friction to create at least the illusion of warmth. The movements resulted in a crinkling sound as his hand moved swiftly over the left pocket of his trousers.

_Alice._

He'd carried her address ever since Edward gave it to him on the shores of Gourock. Jasper stood up from his bed, ensured the blackout shade was pulled taut, and then stuffed the corners with a few pairs of socks. He then took two of his woolen undershirts from his footlocker and rolled them to fit snugly up against the crack beneath the door. Standing back, he surveyed his work, then nodded to himself, satisfied that this was the best he could do. His uncoordinated fingers fumbled around in the dark to find the small desk lamp. With a simple click, light flooded the tiny space. Jasper winced against the bright light only to find the bare cot across from his bed a stark reminder of how alone he truly was. He dropped his head and placed his hand on the back of the room's solitary chair.

_What am I thinking? This woman doesn't know me from Adam._ He shook his head again to clear his thoughts.

_Well, she's not going to find out by you standing here all alone either._

With that, he pulled out the chair and set himself to work.

_November 17th, 1944_

_Dear Miss Alice,_

_I apologize to you in advance, Miss Alice, for sending you this letter before we are formally introduced. My name is Jasper Allan Whitlock. And although the name may not mean much to you right now, I am hoping that by reading this letter you will allow me to change that. _

_A mutual friend, Mr. Edward Masen, passed your address to me. As Edward puts it, his beautiful, charming, ever intelligent Bella believes that you might be interested in the dribbling of a young fool such as myself. I hope this letter gives me the chance to prove her right. I've had the opportunity to get to know Bella and Edward over the last three months and in that time I have grown most fond of them. Edward is an extremely lucky man, and as for Bella, well, let's just say that she sticks to her decisions well. _

_All kidding aside—and yes, of course I am kidding—they are quite lucky to have one another. Despite the loneliness that their departure leaves me feeling, I pray that this letter arrives after they have been safely returned to you. _

_As you may have gathered by now, I am a soldier in the United States Army. Due to the type of assignments I'm involved in, there isn't a whole lot I can tell you about it. The days are long. The nights are cold and sometimes lonely, but I pray that the service we are all providing keeps our families safe back home. I'm stationed in London. It's a beautiful city, or at least it once was. The crumbled buildings from the air raids leave much of the architecture and infrastructure damaged, though hopefully not beyond repair. Don't get me wrong, Miss Alice, not all of the sites to be seen here are horrors of war. There are still reasons to smile. I've found art, literature, music and even the occasional USO dance to lighten my spirits. Seeing some of my fellow flatfooted soldiers attempt the jitterbug is enough to make anyone smile, at least for a few hours. _

_I know from your address that you hail from Maryland. I've never been there but would love to see it one day. In fact, there isn't much of the good 'ol US of A that I don't plan on visiting or appreciating once I return home. As for me, I'm a country boy from Nickel Creek Station in west Texas. Probably one of the best ways for me to introduce myself to you is to describe a little piece of my corner of the world. _

_Every morning on the farm started early. There were always chores to do, animals to tend, and inevitably, some fence to repair. Aside from the scorching heat in the summer time, it was a great place to grow up. The land is a beautiful sight to behold. The sunlight coming up over the hills each morning would rival any Farquharson painting. My family raises cattle, and there's no better tool for a cattle rancher than a trusted mare. One morning in particular I rose and went out to the barn to feed the horses. I had two that I called my own, Lucy and Ria. Ria had been passed down to me by my father. She was a little older than most working mares by the time I climbed her saddle, but she was a good horse and smart as all get out. By the time I turned fifteen, Ria had started to lose her sight. My dad wanted to put her down but I couldn't bear to do it. It just felt wrong. So every morning I got up extra early to do some work at the neighbors' farms. It didn't pay much, but it was enough to cover Ria's feed. Dad said I could keep her so long as she wasn't a burden on the farm. You see, Alice, by 1940 the effects of the depression had lessened its grip on a lot of the US, but it still held a firm grasp on the throats of folks in Nickel Creek. I respected my old man enough to earn my keep and that of my animals. At fifteen I was a man, and he trusted me to act as such. Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble quite so much, but earning my father's respect was important to me. Well, you see, on this one particular morning, I went to the stables to feed Lucy and Ria, only to see that Ria's stall was empty. I had a few choice words roll through my head for whichever one of my nephews had left her stall open. I saddled Lucy quickly and headed out to find Ria. _

_Despite her failing sight, Ria knew these lands well. I imagined she took the trail that would lead her to the stream at the far eastern corner of our pasture. The slope was flat for the most part, and if she kept her nose pointed in the direction of the morning sun, she'd eventually reach the water. I followed that same path, hoping to catch a glimpse of her in the glow of the rising dawn. A huge smile broke across my face and fear turned to relief once I spotted my trusted friend. I whistled her call from some thirty yards out, but it was enough for her sensitive ears. They pricked twice, and she quickly turned from her morning drink to find her way back to me._

_I stopped Lucy and tied her to the nearest mandrone tree. In my pocket were a few bits of feed that I held out for her. Lucy, easily contented with food over the impending chores that awaited us, munched on the proffered snack. Ria, on the other hand, was a much smarter animal. I whistled again, calling her name to lead her in my direction. Feed alone would not be enough to bring her back to me. It was as if she knew her fading sight prevented her from taking the long rides we once had and feeling her legs stretch over the course of a hard day's work. I called out to her, telling her that I had chores to do and that she had a restful life of retirement waiting. Ria turned her head in my direction with her ears pricked at attention. It was as if she were a petulant child, not wanting to go take a nap. Before I could utter another word, Ria ran full tilt in my direction. With her limited vision, I feared she'd run right over me and break a few bones in the process. Instead, Ria reared up to her full height and started stomping around like she'd gone mad. I covered my face protectively and turned away from the onslaught. _

_We were at the far end of the pasture. If I was trampled it would be hours before my family would even realize I was missing, then even longer before they'd find me. I'd likely be unconscious, unable to ride Lucy home or even call out for help. _

_These thoughts swirled in my mind while Ria made her mad dance with the devil. She whinnied and snorted, stomped and kicked. I was frozen, unable to move for fear of inching in the wrong direction only to be trampled by her flying hooves. A minute had passed, maybe two, but it felt like an eternity. Ria's crazed movements slowed until a loud snort was followed by her trotting back toward the water. When the dust had finally settled I saw what Ria's sensitive ears had detected long before my own. _

_A cottonmouth snake lay trampled and lifeless not three feet from me. Laying among the rocks it could have easily struck me. I shuddered, thinking of the agonizing death that the venom could have caused. I'd never felt so grateful for a horse in all my life. Ria was flustered and sweating when I reached her at the water's edge. After a few moments of calming words, I thanked her and brushed the stray thrush from her mane and tail before leading her back to Lucy. _

_A lone lead rope tethered Ria to Lucy and me as we made our way back to the barn. By now it was probably about seven and the morning chores at the Wilson's farm would have to wait for another day. At that moment, I was just content to be alive. Edging slowly among the thicket, I noticed a recent path likely made by companions making their way across our land. I called out loudly, hoping the volume of my voice would carry more power than my stature and fifteen years could muster on their own. The brush wavered and two of the dirtiest looking boys I'd ever laid eyes on emerged to stand shamefully before me. They were not only covered with the dirt of their travels but also with the straw that had likely come from Ria's open stall. The larger of the two boys called out an apology. They told me that they we were just hungry and tired. They wanted to work for food but couldn't go back home without bringing something for the rest of the family. They apologized for letting Ria out of her stall, saying they were just looking for a soft place to bed down for the night. I looked into the pale blue eyes of the boys and shook my head. It had solely been by the grace of God that our cattle had survived the dry season with the meager feed we could offer. A twist of fate and I could have easily been in their shoes. They told me that there were eight in their family, and I took my new found gratitude for Ria and put it to good use._

_I swung my leg over and dismounted before reaching over to unbuckle Lucy's saddle. Within minutes I'd had it transferred to Ria. The boys looked on, puzzled until I tied the lead rope around Lucy and handed it to the boys. I told them to head southwest for about four miles south until they reached Pine Springs. There they'd be able to fetch a decent price for Lucy. If they weren't cheated, it would probably be enough to feed a family, even a large one, for about two months. _

_My father soundly beat me when I got home. After all, what foolish boy gives up a perfectly good ranch horse for a tired mare who can't see very well? When the beating was over and my hind end was sore enough to keep me twisting in the saddle for days, my old man hugged me tight around the shoulders and ruffled the hair on top of my head. He couldn't acknowledge what I'd done was a good thing, after all it was foolish and stupid, but deep down there must have been a part of him that understood why I did it. Perhaps he might have even done the same if he'd been in my shoes. I knew I would work slower with Ria than I could have with Lucy, but I owed her my life and giving those boys a chance at feeding themselves and their kin seemed to be a small payment owed back for my own good fortune. _

_So that's me in a nutshell, Miss Alice, a little impetuous, a little foolish, a little softhearted and a lot loyal. I hope I haven't scared you off with my forwardness and that you'll consider writing me back in return. _

_Sincerely yours,_

_Jasper Allan Whitlock, PFC_

_United States Army_

Jasper sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Right now, I could use the company,"he said to no one in particular.

He sealed the envelope and wrote Alice's address on the front before tucking it into his shirt pocket. When he looked over at the clock, he was surprised to find that nearly two hours had passed. Before long the bugler's trumpet would be calling him out to stand in the freezing cold for morning fall-in and the day's instructions. What had surprised Jasper even more that morning, was being called out of the freezing cold lineup to join Master Sergeant Gray in the headquarters building. After a brief description of the situation, he surrendered his newly drafted letter so it could serve as a message for his recently departed friends.

Jasper had never written to a woman before, at least not to one who wasn't already a member of his family. He closed his hand, tightening his grasp over the envelope and whispered a silent wish that his words would be enough to convince the woman who'd receive them to write him back. He released the paper into the hands of Master Sergeant Gray and with a wistful expression plastered on his face, he thought, _Well, here goes nothin'._

_

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_

**A/N:** I was so thrilled with the response to the prologue that I want to say thank you with a preview of chapter 3:

Alice reached into the mailbox and dragged the thick packet of mail back out. Her fingers trembled as they combed through each piece of mail. All signs of her earlier blustering at Bella's "radio silence" were gone now. Her fears were enough to forestall any snarky remarks. It didn't take long before Alice could breathe again. There wasn't a trace of yellow parchment in the entire stack. A heavy exhale of relief escaped her as she re-combed the mail, more slowly this time. As she reached the last few items, she found a hand addressed letter and paused to look over the address.

_London? Who the heck is Jasper Whitlock? _

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think.

-First Blush

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**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: Chapter 2 Dear Alice**

**Story reference: **Jasper uses the contents of his footlocker to block out the light from his desk lamp.

**Historical Significance: **Army footlockers had a defined place for every item, including a shoeshine kit and a carton of cigarettes.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)serviceofsupply(dot)com/WWIIInfoPage(dot)htm (bottom of the page)

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes going to USO dances with his fellow soldiers in London.

**Historical Significance: **Behind the lines and in larger cities like London, the USO would sponsor dances for soldiers on leave.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)swingdanceandlindyhop(dot)com/articles/world-war-ii-music(dot)shtml

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes riding his favorite horse through his family pastures in Nickel Creek.

**Historical Significance: **Photographs demonstrating the beauty of Nickel Creek, TX

**Source: **http:/members(dot)tripod(dot)com/airfields_freeman/TX/Hartlee_TX_04Nov_hangars(dot)jpg

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes the sunrise in Nickel Creek as one that would rival a Farquharson painting.

**Historical Significance: **Joseph Farquharson was a Scottish Laird born in 1846. His first exhibit was at age 13. He painted the people of Scotland going about their everyday labors in dramatic landscapes.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ramshornstudio(dot)com/joseph_farquharson(dot)htm

Jasper likes Faraquharson because he can connect with the painter and the sheep herders he paints. He finds beauty/familiarity with his own family's cattle ranch.

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes tying Lucy to a mandrone tree when he searches for Ria

**Historical Significance: **The Madrone Tree, is a native to Nickel Creek Texas.

**Source: **www(dot)flickr(dot)com/(dot)(dot)(dot)/in/set-72157600311770715/

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes the cottonmouth snake that Ria tramples for him

**Historical Significance: **Cottonmouths are some of the most deadly snakes found as natural inhabitants of the Texas landscape.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)poisoncontrol(dot)org/docs/toxic_bites(dot)pdf


	3. Chapter 3  Nov 24, 1944

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _****_The banner for this story and this chapter can be found through my profile or at: _**http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/

I need to say a special thank you to Miss Martha for helping me with Jasper's army address.

_Now, lets meet Alice._

**

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November 24, 1944**

_It's damn cold outside_, Alice thought as she made her way down the long drive to her family's mailbox. The sudden drop in temperature had turned yesterday's rain puddles into mini pools of ice. She stepped delicately around each hazard and tried to ignore the frigid winds that wiped at her skirt.

_There'd better be a letter from you today, Bella Swan._

Alice was almost too tired to utter her flippant prayer in her head. Truth be told, she was too tired of hoping for news. Good news was an untouchable dream. Now she only feared opening the rusty mailbox and finding a parchment colored envelope from Western Union. Steeling herself, Alice pulled open the metal door slowly as if the contents inside were nestled against a cobra ready to strike. Ever so slowly she peered inside, allowing the light to barely filter through the crack she made in the opening. She knew it was silly. Of course she knew this. Opening the door slowly wouldn't lessen the painful hurt of finding a telegram today, or any other day. Yet, in her mind her little ritual had worked so far, and she wasn't about to start tempting fate today.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Alice's sister, Cynthia, and her brother-in-law, Collin, had joined them for dinner at her parents' home. Cindy bubbled over their home and Collin's job as a reporter for the Baltimore Sun. She was gushing over his adventures and his recent coup of getting a fantastic quote from Notre Dame's football coach after Army had defeated them in the November 10th game.

Alice smiled to herself, noting Collin's pride as he re-quoted coach McKeever. _"I've just seen Superman in the flesh. He wears number 35 and goes by the name of Blanchard."_ Alice wasn't much of a football fan herself, but last night she found herself lost in Collin's excitement as he recounted the details of the 59-0 victory. Apparently Notre Dame had won the last thirteen matchups, and according to Collin, this victory put Army on a path straight to a national championship.

The mailbox door creaked loudly, pulling Alice back from the momentary distraction of last night's dinner conversation. Alice's eyes widened as she glanced upon a larger than normal pile of mail. She shook her head. _Of course, yesterday was a holiday. There wasn't any mail delivered, so the pile should be bigger today. No need to go worrying yourself over nothing, Alice! Get a hold of yourself, you silly girl._

But Alice was no girl, not anymore. She shied away from the consolatory glances from her married friends and family. Alice was twenty-three, and she had yet to find a man she found worthy of her hand. She had plenty of suitors, but after every date she'd ask herself, _Could I really imagine waking up every morning to that man?_ She shuddered at the thought after most of her dates. She wasn't a prude or snobbish by any means. She was looking for a spark, the undeniable pull she read about in books. She had yet to find it and was unwavering in her determination not to settle for anything less. She would either be besotted or remain a bachelorette. With a heavy heart, Alice had almost resigned herself to spinsterhood.

She reached into the mailbox and dragged the thick packet of mail back out. Her fingers trembled as they combed through each piece of mail. All signs of her earlier blustering at Bella's "radio silence" were gone now. Her fears were enough to forestall any snarky remarks. It didn't take long before Alice could breathe again. There wasn't a trace of yellow parchment in the entire stack. A heavy exhale of relief escaped her as she re-combed the mail, more slowly this time. As she reached the last few items, she found a hand addressed letter and paused to look over the address.

_Miss Alice Brandon_

_103 Little Park Road_

_Easton, MD USA 21601_

_Miss Alice Brandon?_ she wondered. Any formal letter addressed to her would have used her proper name, _Mary _Alice. Only close friends and family called her Alice. With a furrowed brow, she glanced at the return address.

PFC Jasper Whitlock 363-64-187

7th ARCOM

UK Base, APO, London W1K 6

London? Who the heck is Jasper Whitlock? And why does the postmark read Columbus, Indiana? Alice was even more bewildered at this point. Suddenly a tremor of fear hit her. Perhaps this was one of Bella's friends delivering a goodbye letter to her family. Alice's hands shook as she pressed her finger into the paper, willing her own superman like x-ray vision to read the contents before actually opening it. Alice fumbled with her lackluster abilities as an oracle before finally conceding. She hastily flipped the letter over and pried open the seal.

There she saw it. Tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks as she recognized the rough scrawl at the bottom of the envelope.

_See you soon. – B._

No single sentence had brought her happiness like this in the last two years.

_Bella!_

_That good for nothing little wench,_ Alice thought with a wry smile. She had better have a damn good reason for leaving me frantic for six miserable months. Six months without so much as a peep from her! I'm going to kick her scrawny rear end when I see her. I'm going to argue and yell and give her one heck of a pile of guilt to wade through.

_And then I'm going to hug and kiss my friend, and be grateful that God has brought her safely home._

With a skip in her step, Alice ignored the cold and went flying back up the driveway to savor the enclosed message. Deep down she knew it wouldn't matter what the letter contained, so long as her friend was on her way home.

a~AAA~a

The letter couldn't be further from any possible message that Alice would have ever guessed. Jasper Whitlock? Once again she found herself asking, _who the heck is Jasper Whitlock_? Alice fanned herself with the four page letter before indulging once more to read the young soldier's words. Two days had passed since she slit open the seal with her grandfather's silver letter opener. Alice found herself nervously chewing on her nails as she read over his closing.

_So that's me in a nutshell, Miss Alice, a little impetuous, a little foolish, a little soft hearted, and a lot loyal. _

She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face as her mind conjured an image of the young man who wrote these words. Was he tall or short? Blond or dark haired? Blue eyed or brown? Was he meaty or rail thin from the meager rations afforded to our servicemen? Alice couldn't get her mind off of this letter or the fact that Bella had purposely given him her address. Alice dropped the letter into her lap and lifted her palms to rub them over her face.

_What am I thinking? He's a boy. If he left for the service at eighteen so, he's what, nineteen now? At the most twenty? Too young! Too young for you, you spinster. _

Alice shook her head, once and for all acknowledging that beginning a correspondence with a boy so young and impressionable would be wrong. She'd have to find a way to let his kind and gentle heart down easily. Deep down she swallowed back a small hurt that nagged at her chest.

_He seems so sweet, so kind. He sounds like a good soul. It would have been nice to get to know someone like that._

The sound of gravel tires crunching along the driveway awoke Alice from her daydream. She looked up to find a shiny white Packard making its way toward the house. She didn't recognize the young driver, but she'd know the face of his passenger anywhere.

"BELLA!"

Alice shrieked and screamed and let out a high pitched squeal of joy as she sprang from her window seat and flew down the front stairs. In mere seconds she would cast her eyes upon her living, breathing, best friend once more.

a**AAA**a

Alice chewed on her pen as she stared at the blank stationary before her. A large script letter A appeared at the top. The fine watermarked paper had been a graduation gift received years ago from Bella's father, Colonel Swan. He had always appreciated Alice looking out for Bella, especially when he traveled or worked late. Alice didn't think Charlie really understood the depth of her feelings for Bella. There are friends that come and go in your life, but a friend like Bella was rare and valued indeed. Bella wasn't like other girls. Like Alice, she paid little mind to the proper role for a woman.

Alice's mind strayed from the task at hand. Yesterday had been filled with shocks. Not the least of which was cuddled next to her on the couch suckling her thumb and clutching a pink bunny ear in her tiny paw. Alice turned and traced her finger against one of Serena's flushed, plump cheeks. In response, Serena's tiny mouth twitched and sloshed against her thumb once more before setting into a lax position. Alice shook her head thinking of how much Bella had changed since she left for London. Not only had she survived the war, Alice shuddered at the thought of her friend's mortality and the sight of her burned legs, but she had returned with both a husband_ and_ a child.

Alice sighed. _Edward Anthony Masen_, she thought. Tall, dark and handsome were merely simple words to describe her newly found "brother-in-law." Edward had piercing green eyes, copper hair and a tall, muscular build. But it wasn't his looks that Alice found most striking; it was his devotion to her friend. The forefront of his every movement, every thought and every sentence seemed to hover over his wife and child. This man's world revolved around his new family, yet he was easy to like on his own merit. Edward was smart and playful. He'd teased and joked with Alice and Bella all evening. Underneath his playful side, Alice was enamored with his profound devotion to Bella.

Alice found herself loving Edward instantly, well, nearly instantly. She first had to admonish her friend for keeping her in the dark for so long. Then she needed to recover from the sight of Bella's frail body and the burns she suffered in an air raid. Finally, she nearly expired upon learning she was now an aunt to a four month old baby girl. What surprised Alice most was the way Bella seemed so comfortable in her new skin. The roles of wife and mother seemed to easily fold into her repertoire. She admired Bella's devotion to Serena. Truth be told, she looked at her friend with a newfound sense of longing. Alice wasn't a jealous person, but in Bella she finally saw what she had previously pushed aside as unimportant. She wanted that kind of devotion for herself and for the man she chose to love in return.

That brought her back to the present moment. Here she sat; a blank page before her and a pen in hand. Bolstered by Bella's snarky but well intentioned words of encouragement, Alice finally put pen to paper in response to the correspondence from one Jasper Allen Whitlock, PFC.

_November 25, 1944_

_Dear Jasper,_

_I was more than a little surprised to receive your letter this week. You see, it had been more than six months since I'd last heard from Bella, and the unopened letter addressed in your hand, left me fearful for my friend's health. I've been desperately anxious for news of her and was frightened that your letter contained a goodbye note from Bella. The news of your introduction was a most welcomed relief from those fears. _

_I'm quite happy to provide you with some good news from home. Bella and Edward arrived in Maryland yesterday and they brought with them my new niece, Serena. I must say, she's a sight to behold. After only one day, I am truly besotted by her. She has ten fingers and ten toes, her father's curly copper hair and the deep brown eyes of her mother. Serena's chubby cheeks curve perfectly to the slightest touch of my finger. Quite often I find myself circling her plump palm with my finger. I've never touched skin so soft. _

_I have been assigned night duty this evening and am cuddled next to her soft little body as I compose this letter to you. It's roughly ten-thirty right now, and I'm hopeful that I'll have a good start on your letter before she decides she's ready for her next bottle._

_Edward and Bella appear to be in good health, although both seem to require an additional ten pounds before one could consider them fit. I'll do my best to accomplish that while they're here. I'm hopeful that the Thanksgiving dinner provided to you and your fellow servicemen was at least plentiful, if not delectable. I'm hopeful for the former and judging the latter unlikely by the loose fit of Edward's and Bella's trousers. Just say the word and I'll draft a scathing letter in this regard to Uncle Sam on your behalf._

Alice chewed her pen, hoping that her attempt at mild humor would be well received. She tapped her pen lightly against her mouth before writing the next sentence. She wanted Jasper to know he was conversing with more of a nag than a filly. She sighed once and began writing, resigning herself to air her vulnerability quickly.

_It seems that either the hour is late or my own dribbling matches well with yours. Suffice it to say, I can easily accept the dribbling of a young fool if you can stomach the responses of an aged twit. The sage wisdom of those of advanced in years, such as myself, often depletes after the ten o-clock hour. The only other kindness I can provide this evening is to offer you a piece of my own history in return for the lovely description of yours. I've never been to Texas myself, but your description of the beauty of the land leaves me longing to return to a place I've only seen through my imagination and your words. _

_I cannot accurately describe the beauty of the sunset rippling across the Chesapeake. The beauty of the bay is a sight that is all too familiar to folks like me who have lived in Easton all their lives. Through the eyes of a visitor, it is certainly a sight to behold. I've been swimming in the bay since I realized that the bathtub wasn't the only place I could play in water. My sister and I would walk along the banks most evenings after supper to skip rocks or look for new discoveries such as shells, or starfish or the occasional rare sand dollar. It is little treasures such as these that have filled an overgrown glass jar that presided on the mahogany desk in my father's den for years. I think it was an empty sour pickle jar from the local grocer with a screw top lid. Cindy, my younger sister, and I would do our best to fill it with a few new colorful treasures each evening. As the jar filled, we took turns tasking the other with finding different mementos without opening the jar. This probably seems like a silly child's game but as the jar filled over time, finding tiny treasures no bigger than a silver dollar, became quite a challenge. Today the jar sits on my desk in my classroom. It's quite a useful tool for me. You see, sometimes small children have a difficult time communicating what's wrong or why they're having a tough time in school. In the few years I've been teaching, I've found that despite their differences, each child has a common interest in discovery. It's often a matter of challenging the child to "find" something that allows them to open up to me in other ways. A few weeks back, one of my second graders found an old turtle shell nestled deep among the colorful seashells. He was so excited at his accomplishment that I allowed him to take it home for the night to show his family. His gratitude for borrowing the simple, tiny treasure has been repaid tenfold. My buddy, Brady, and I now work each day on improving his arithmetic by counting shells in twos and fives and tens. If he's successful in his studies, he chooses a new treasure to borrow for the evening. No matter the choices I've offered him from the jar, he continues to select the tiny turtle shell. Deep down, I think the poor boy needs a pet._

Alice sighed, causing her body to shift slightly. Serena's thumb fell from her lips, and the motion caused her tiny brow to crinkle at the loss. Alice couldn't help but stroke the fine hairs of her head as a smile of adoration spread across her face. She looked at the clock once more, realizing that it wouldn't be too much longer before her companion for the evening sought her attention. Alice wracked her brain, trying to decipher anything interesting she could tell the young private about herself without boring him to tears. Alice was lucky. She had a nice home, a good job, a loving family, yet deep down she was still searching for something more. She re-read Jasper's words searching for a common link that would help her tell him how much she enjoyed his letter.

_I don't have exciting tales to share; the most exciting event to report is that my second graders will begin a new section of astronomy next week. We'll begin looking for constellations and examining the ones that are currently visible in the night's sky. Frankly, after reading your story, I'm just grateful that the children don't begin lessons on reptiles until __third__ grade. I was never a fan of snakes, and your letter makes me like them even less. _

_There are no family legends of near death experience or selfless heroism to share. Your words have left me speechless, Jasper, and I thank you for sharing them with me. I want to add that even though your father may not have said it out loud, his actions showed that he quietly admired your decision to help that family. I certainly do. _

_Well, my dear goddaughter seems to be working her little thumb pretty hard, which is a clear indication that she'll soon be gracing me with her beautiful brown eyes. So I'll bid you goodnight and hope this letter finds you healthy and safe. Until then I'll eagerly await more tales of your adventures in Nickel Creek. _

_Stay safe. _

_Sincere regards,_

_Alice_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Next week we'll hear another adventure from Nickle Creek and learn a little more about our young hero in London. He won't be alone for long, a new partner is on his way. BTW, if you haven't read The Last Breath, or if you have and want a refresher, there's an** Edward POV** for this chapter. It's the last third of chapter 26 Reckoning. The link is on my profile page.

Thank you for reading and let me know what you think, my review responses often include previews of the next chapter.

-First Blush

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: Ch 2  
**

**Story reference: **Alice describes Colin's work as a sportswriter for the Baltimore American

**Historical Significance: **A 1922 Linotype machine-a typesetting machine that revolutionized the printing industry and was invented in Baltimore.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)thebmi(dot)org/page/collections

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice describes the dinner conversation with her sister and brother in law over the Army–Notre Dame football game

**Historical Significance: **video from the Army's 59-0 victory over defending national champions, Notre Dame game. Army went on to win their own National Championship that year. Army rolled through the 1944 season like Patton through France.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=H6PXVi20GtU

Read more: 1944 College Football Recap — Infoplease(d0t)com http:/www(dot)infoplease(dot)#ixzz1CCRbRjag

* * *

**Story reference:** Collin caught a famous quote from Coach Ed McKeever after the Notre Dame/Army game.

**Historical Significance: **Quote from Coach McKeever after the Army victory against Notre Dame in 1944. _"I've just seen Superman in the flesh. He wears number 35 and goes by the name of Blanchard."_

**Source: **http:/www(dot)baltimoresun(dot)com/sports/bal-doc-blanchard-0420,0,1522174(dot)story

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice tentatively opens her mailbox fearing that she'll find a Western union telegram

**Historical Significance: **Western Union telegrams were often used to relay information about soldiers to their loved ones back home. Often it wasn't good news.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)merkki(dot)com/images/gleasonwu(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice describes the beauty of Chesapeake Bay

Some pictures of vacation homes in the surrounding area to show you what Alice is talking about.

**Source: **http:/www(dot) easternshoredistinctivetreats (dot)com/


	4. Chapter 4 Dec 18, 1944

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _****_The banner for this story and this chapter can be found through my profile or at: _**http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/

Special thanks again goes out to Miss Martha for introducing me to the story of the real live hero, Audie Murphy. His many awards and letters of citation inspired this chapter.

_

* * *

_

**December 18, 1944**

Nearly three weeks had passed since Jasper's letter made its way across the pond. He tried not to be too hopeful but every time he sat down to eat in the mess hall, his hopes betrayed him. He reminded himself that the mail was slow and that things often got lost or misdirected. He wanted to suppress his eagerness for a reply from Alice, but each day that passed made him grow more and more wary of her writing back at all. Perhaps his letter was too immature, or his story too childish. Then again, maybe, he'd been too forward.

Jasper's tray clanged against the wooden table as he sat beside the fellow members of his unit. He had yet to be re-assigned a new partner, and the lack of camaraderie only served to further sullen Jasper's thoughts. He looked down at his tray with less than enthusiastic regard and began the process of quelling his hunger, if not his loneliness.

He'd tried for two weeks to be allowed some leave time to visit Seth. Jasper discovered that Seth was being cared for in a rehabilitation hospital in Heathfield about an hour and a half south east of London. The odds of him getting approved for leave were not great, but the look in his eyes reminded his CO, Master Sergeant Gray, of his need to visit his friend.

The chicken, potatoes, peas and carrots that had been swirled around on Jasper's plate looked more like a haphazard chicken pot pie than a meal being consumed. Before Jasper could muster the desire to lift another forkful to his mouth, the mail clerk strolled in carrying a heavy pack over his shoulder shouting to all in attendance that the daily mail had arrived. Jasper looked down, trying not to seem to expectant, and continued to swirl his peas and carrots among the potato mush. He felt a nudge of his shoulder and looked over to see one of the guys in his unit gesturing at his plate.

"I don't think it's gonna taste any better no matter how long you mix it. Best get on with it and eat, or tomorrow's run is gonna kick your ass."

Jasper nodded and offered a tight smile before diving in. He had his fourth bite in his mouth when he heard his name called by the mail clerk.

"Whitlock!"

Jasper was up off his feet and bounding to the front of the hall before he had even swallowed. He eagerly plucked the two letters offered in his direction from the clerk's hands and ignored the fact that he was supposed to be hiding his enthusiasm. His shoulders sagged a bit when he realized the letters were from his ma and his brother. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful to hear from them, it just wasn't the correspondence he'd been hoping for.

When he got back to his barracks, he found the bunk beside his own was no longer vacant. A dark haired man, who looked to be in his late twenties, was making up the bunk and tossing carton of Lucky Strikes back into his footlocker. His head turned at Jasper's entrance, and he quickly put the drag to his lips so he could offer his hand to Jasper.

"Alec Browning."

His voice was sharp, no nonsense but not harsh. Jasper took his hand and gave it a quick, solid shake.

"Jasper Whitlock," he said in reply.

"Good to know you, Jasper." Alec looked over at the paper on the desk for confirmation. "You're my new partner."

It didn't escape Jasper that the man said "you're my new partner," not "_we're_ new partners," or "I'm _your_ new partner." Alec was assuming the lead position from the get go. Jasper shouldn't have taken it personally but the words still stung. He felt like he was being demoted. His confidence weakened a little more when he assumed it was because of Seth's injuries. Jasper stood stoically, not adding to the conversation, which made Alec a little unnerved. He was expecting young and energetic. This kid, however, looked like he'd run over his own family dog. Alec decided a bit of a soft touch might be warranted.

"Hey," Alec tried again, putting the smoke back to his lips. He took a puff and dragged his free hand behind his neck. Soft touches were not his specialty. "Uh, I need to get the lay of the land around here. Mind giving me the nickel tour before lights out?"

"Yeah, sure."

Alec squinted a little, assessing his new partner. He was a solid guy, one who was light but seemed strong enough to handle hand to hand. Something about this kid shouted dejection, and for the life of him Alec couldn't imagine why. Alec had just PCS'd in from North Africa and the cool London fall was a blessing as opposed to the dry desert heat of his last assignment. _This kid should be grateful. He has it easy, _Alec thought. He returned to making up his bunk while Jasper dropped onto his and began reading through some V-mail. As Alec unrolled the bunk, he caught sight of a stray photograph of the boy in the bunk beside him and another fella equally as young. The light in that Jasper's eyes in the photograph was more of what Alec had expected. It took him less than a second to realize—the kid beside Jasper was likely dead.

"Uh—Jasper?" Alec didn't say anything else; he just turned and offered the photograph.

Jasper looked up and saw the photo, then quickly scrambled to grab the photo from Alec. It was he and Seth goofing off outside the barracks a few months ago. One of those _LIFE_ magazine photographers was hanging out that day snapping pictures to put in the magazine and show the folks back home.

"That's Seth, my pa—"

"Your partner," Alec finished.

Jasper just nodded. Alec turned back to his work, not wanting to pry and certainly not wanting to get into an emotional discussion with a kid he just met. As he folded the perfect hospital corners and threw a spare nickel on the bed to ensure it would bounce appropriately if inspected, Jasper decided to open up.

"His throat was slit by a double."

Alec didn't know what he expected to come out of Jasper's mouth, but it certainly wasn't that. His shoulder slumped, and his head dropped as Jasper's words sounded in his ears.

"I'm sorry."

"They have him at one of the rehab hospitals in Heathfield."

"He _survived?_" Alec hadn't expect that either.

"Yeah, they don't tell me much, but Master Sergeant Gray passes me what he can. I'm gonna go see him as soon as I can get some leave."

Alec nodded, not quite knowing what to say. It was pretty obvious that Jasper felt bad about his former partner and took the blame on himself. He made the decision right there to have a little chat with the Master Sergeant and find out exactly what was going on inside this kid's head, but for now he needed to get him focused on the here and now.

"I'm a pretty easy going guy, Jasper. However, I do expect you to pull your weight, guard my back and keep your head out of your ass so that mine doesn't get shot to hell saving yours."

For the first time in a while, Jasper cracked a grin.

"Duly noted." Jasper smirked.

Alec smirked right back at the kid before nodding toward the barracks door.

"So, how 'bout that tour?"

Jasper neatly folded his family's letters to return to later tonight and walked with his head up and shoulders square. Alec followed silently behind him, chuckling to himself. _Yeah, perhaps this kid and I are gonna work out, after all. _

j~JJJ~j

The following day after a grueling afternoon of drills, Jasper and Alec made their way to the mess hall for supper. They were both pretty beat down as the run and obstacle course training always tore up some part of a man's body. Still Alec joked with Jasper that he'd beaten him despite the nearly eight year age difference between them.

"You little pisher, you couldn't beat my ass if you tried."

"You just got lucky, Alec. I slipped before the climbing wall and my knee went out from under me. You saw it as well as everyone else in the unit."

"Excuses, excuses, private. Who was the one that crossed the line first?"

Jasper didn't even react to the expectant grin on Alec's face. "That's right, you can't even say it because you got beat by a more _experienced_ soldier."

"Shut it, Alec."

"Whitlock?"

Jasper and Alec both froze and saluted Master Sergeant Gray who strode toward them.

"My office, now. Browning, you come too."

Neither man dared change his facial expression from the stoic, tight jaw and focused eyes they'd had drilled into them every day since boot camp. Master Sergeant Gray turned on his heel and led both men to his office at headquarters. Alec wondered what the hell had gone wrong in just two days at his new assignment while Jasper wondered if he was finally going to get the verbal beating he deserved for not protecting Seth.

When they reached Master Sergeant Gray's door, Jasper's eyes about fell out of his head. There at the edge of Gray's desk in full dress uniform was Colonel Swan. His right arm was in a sling, and Jasper could see the edges of white bandages peeking out from the neckline of his shirt. All three men halted immediately and saluted the senior officer before them.

"At ease," the colonel commanded.

Charlie Swan wanted to laugh. Both men looked scared shitless. He caught Gray's smirk from across the room and immediately silenced him with a look.

"Whitlock," he barked out.

"Yes, Colonel Swan."

Jasper lifted his chin and stared directly into the colonel's hard eyes. He was going to take whatever the colonel threw at him like a man. After all, he deserved whatever sanction was handed down.

"You've been called here today as a result of the events in Milton Keynes."

"Yes, sir"

Charlie wondered to himself how much longer he should draw this out and make the kid suffer. Today, he was feeling pretty good aside from the ache in his shoulder. He'd spent a week longer than he should have in the hospital. Some quack doctor was murmuring about torn muscles and broken bones, stitches and rehabilitation. In Charlie's esteemed opinion, all of that was utter horseshit. After all, how strenuous could it be for him to sit behind a desk and do his damn job?

Whitlock looked him dead in the eye, but Charlie could read this kid like an open book. He was prepared to take a pistol whipping when he was here today for something quite the opposite. He nodded to Sergeant Gray who began to read the orders.

** GENERAL ORDERS ) HEADQUARTERS THIRD INFANTRY DIVISION:**

** Number 84 ) A.P.O. #3 20 December 1944**

**Letter of Accommodation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **** . . . . . . . . . . ****. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **** . . . . . . . . . . **** . . . . . . . . . . **** . . . . . . .**** . . **** . . . . ****. . I**

**I – LETTER OF ACCOMODATION. Under the provisions of Army Regulations 600-32, as amended, a Letter of Accommodation is awarded the following named individual:**

**Jasper A. Whitlock, 363-64-187, Private First Class, 7th ARCOM. For valorous conduct in action against the enemy on 14 November 1944, in Milton Keynes, United Kingdom. Residence: Nickel Creek Station, Texas.**

** By command of General Eisenhower:**

** CHARLES A. SWAN,**

** Colonel, G.S.C.,**

** Chief of Staff.**

**CITATION**

**Jasper A. Whitlock, 363-64-187, Private First Class, 7th ARCOM. For valorous conduct in action against the enemy. On the morning of 14 November 1944, in Milton Keynes UK, Private First Class WHITLOCK subdued a wanted traitor to the United States Government and saved the life of his commanding officer. Enemy shots had been fired, but without regard for his own life, WHITLOCK ran toward the enemy. In mid-stride, he delivered perfectly accurate shot killing the attacker just seconds before they could take advantage of the bloodied officer on the ground. Colonel Swan's life and the security of the Ultra program had been affirmed by the selfless and brave actions of PFC WHITLOCK. Residence: Nickel Creek Station, Texas.**

** Richard F. Gray**

** Master Sergeant, G.S.C.**

**...  
**

Charlie held out his left hand to Jasper given his right was in a sling. Charlie pulled Jasper a little closer. He wanted to say thank you for saving his life and allowing him to have a chance to meet his granddaughter. Instead he swallowed the lump in his throat and offered him the only thing he could.

"I know you've been asking about Private Winterbotham. You'll have eight hours of leave on Friday to visit him."

Jasper only nodded in stunned disbelief at the crisp paper signed by the colonel and General Eisenhower that now lay in his hands.

"Thank you, sir."

"You've earned it, private. Accept it with pride."

"Sir, yes, sir," Jasper replied, and in that moment, he could feel a crack in the block of ice that had frozen him for weeks.

As they strode down the hall together, Alec couldn't help but rib Jasper a little.

"So you gonna take the pat on the back or just stare off into space all day?"

Jasper looked up and smiled. "I guess I'll take it."

"Good. They don't exactly give those out every day. So let's try to stay on the colonel's good side for a little while longer."

Jasper laughed. Colonel Swan's reputation as a hard ass was notorious. "I'll see what I can do."

By the time they'd made it to the mess hall, most of the guys already had their grub and were finishing up the final few bites. The two men quickly grabbed their food and joined the rest of their unit.

"So, oh valorous one, how shall we serve you tonight?" Alec mocked with a bow to Jasper. "Perhaps we could put the butter and jam on the bread for you?"

"Shut it, Alec."

The curious members of Jasper's company were quickly filled in on his formal letter from General Eisenhower. Shortly after, all the guys were giving him a good natured ribbing. Jasper was laughing so hard he didn't notice the mail clerk coming in. He was too busy fending off joking remarks that Alec was making to embarrass him.

"WHITLOCK," the mail clerk shouted.

Jasper's brow furrowed. He'd just received letters from his family yesterday. He was climbing up from his seat at the table when his eyes widened with the realization that it might be a letter from Alice. He pulled the lone letter from the clerk, and a smile brighter than the sun hit him. Even to the casual observer, this obviously wasn't another letter from his mother. He turned, forgoing his meal and the jeering calls of his mates, to find a quiet space to read. His hands shook slightly as he lifted the envelope's seal. He shook his head, reminding himself that he didn't even know this girl. He only knew that Bella thought he should write to her. For Jasper, that was enough to take a chance. He collapsed on his bunk, settling his back against the wall, and plucked the simple, clean pages from the envelope. He smiled at her neat penmanship and took a deep breath before launching into Alice's reply.

Relief washed through him as he read of Edward and Bella's safe arrival in Maryland. The relief was quickly overpowered by the joy of knowing that Edward had found his daughter. He could almost imagine the tiny angel that slept next to Alice as she wrote his letter. He envisioned Alice with slender fingers and a gentle touch, tracing the smooth round cheek of her goddaughter. He paused, lifting his eyes from the pages to try to imagine the face of the woman writing to him. Her words seemed polite, sincere and compassionate, but it was the next paragraph that truly made him smile. Jasper laughed out loud imagining Alice hard at work drafting a letter of reprimand and marching down to the local post office to hand it to the local mail clerk.

_She sounds like a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps Bella was right._

The remainder of Alice's letter seemed to be a mix of personalities. On one hand, her self-deprecation over her age gave Jasper the feeling that she wanted to keep their relationship cordial but distant. She was his elder and her words made him feel like a boy rather than a man at war. Then, he felt the softer side of the woman who penned the tale of a loving family, of searching for treasures in the bay, and of a lifelong love of learning. The way she described both the little boy who loved the turtle shell and Serena's sweet features made him see beyond Alice's self made wall of age and into her obviously kind heart. Perhaps she only appeared distant for fear of rejection. She wrote lighthearted words that joked with Jasper over her student needing a pet and her now confirmed distaste for reptiles, but it was the closing paragraph that showed Jasper how perceptive Alice was. She said she believed that Jasper's father was proud of him and that she too was proud of the decision he made. A warm feeling of comfort washed over him as he read and re-read her words.

"Well, if she's eagerly awaiting more tales from Nickel Creek, I'd best not keep her waiting."

With that Jasper grabbed a small stack of papers and a pen and began his reply.

_ December 18, 1944_

_ Dear Miss Alice,_

_I am sorry to have frightened you with my last note; that was certainly not my intention. And I will do my level best to make sure it doesn't happen again. _

_You're words of Bella and Edward's safe return to the U.S. buoy me. I miss my friends dearly, but knowing that they are entrusted to your care and home cooking eases my melancholy. It only took a few more words from you to light the biggest smile on my face: the news of Serena. Gosh, Alice, knowing she's where she belongs is frankly the best news I've heard in months, thank you. I imagine her as you've described, coppery curls and deep brown eyes. I see her chubby palm and the way your fingers traced her cheek in sleep. She must be a sight to behold. _

_Thanksgiving dinner here was plentiful, but those are about the kindest words I can apply to the meal. No, ma'am, no need to draft a letter to Uncle Sam on my behalf. My belly is full each night and that's more than I can say for our brothers out there on the frontlines. I've decided I will now bore you to tears with a full report of last evening's meal. We had hamburger, potatoes, peas and carrots, spinach, beans, bread, butter, jam and fruit cocktail. For what our sustenance lacks in taste, it makes up for in quantity, but I thank you all the same for your concern. Though I have little doubt that the strength of your pen would produce a dramatic improvement for our taste buds, I'd prefer you make use of your writing opportunities in correspondence with me._

_As to some of the other enlightening items in your letter, I am confused by your reference to yourself as an "aged twit." I hardly believe that's the case, given your profession. And even if that were true, which it is most certainly not, then there is little hope for me and my dribble. Please say that is not so. At times it feels as though my dribble is the only recourse I have for using my mind beyond the cleaning and proper use of my weapon._

Jasper smiled to himself. He knew that his words were definitely more on the dramatic side, but he wanted to make sure Alice got the point. He didn't approve of her self-deprecation.

_I think that astronomy will certainly be a fun lesson for your students this term. It's one of the few subjects I took to in school. That, along with mythology—you know, gods and battles and superhuman gifts and such. What more could a boy want to keep himself entertained? I've had the good fortune of finding one or two books on the subject while stationed here in London. If I remember correctly, Perseus shines brightest in December, and regardless of whether you're on my side of the pond or yours. You should see him in a clear night's sky. You may already know the tale, but he was a great warrior who slayed Medusa to win the hand and heart of his love, Andromeda. I'll look for him tonight; I hope that when you receive this letter you'll have a clear night to see him as well. _

_I must say that I agree with you and that your young student most definitely needs a pet. His attraction to the shell just confirms that he's lonely. Perhaps a pet snake would keep him entertained? If you wanted to make it educational, you could encourage him to study the number of days that pass between feedings and determine how weight and size of prey adjusts the duration._

_Fearing your wrath at my last attempt at a funny (yes, the snake was a joke), I will move on to the entertainment portion of my letter, another tale from Nickel Creek. I'm confident that if I had been so fortunate to have you as my teacher, Miss Alice, I would have done much better with my school lessons. As fate would have it, I was delivered into the clutches of an insufferable, egotistical schoolmaster who went by the name of Mr. Newton. You should ignore the prestige of his last name; he bore no likeness in mind or body to the father of physics. As I said, Mr. Newton was more of a blowhard than an educator. I promise you that one of his favorite activities was torturing students at the board by working them through arithmetic problems. He seemed to enjoy embarrassing them in front of the class whenever the opportunity presented itself. I was a relatively good student, but he always seemed to find a way to inflate his self importance over the wisdom he was imparting on me. _

_Well, every few years the county would send a representative to observe our one room schoolhouse and report back to the education board. I took the opportunity right before the scheduled visit to make some "adjustments" to Mr. Newton's arithmetic lesson for the day. Each day he dutifully copied the lesson onto the board and then solved the problems before us. _

_The esteemed Professor Randall was none too pleased when I pointed out more than one mistake in Mr. Newton's geometry proofs. It had taken Newton days to figure out that his solutions sheet had been tampered with, but when he did, my sore hind end was the result. With each hit of the paddle, I smiled at the flabbergasted chokes of confusion that left Newton each time I called out a correction. The coup de grace was when Professor Randall stated simply, "The boy is right. Perhaps he should be teaching this lesson in your place, Mr. Newton."_

Jasper let out a full belly laugh when he thought of Newton's overstuffed shirt and red face.

"Whatcha laughing at?"

Jasper looked up to see Alec's amused smirk.

"Aren't you going to share?"

Jasper shook his head no and quickly put the letter in his footlocker to finish later.

"Just a memory of putting one over on my old schoolmaster." He grinned wickedly.

"Aaaah, so, who you writin' to over there? A _sweetheart_ back home?"

"None of your business, Alec," Jasper replied with a bit of snark. "But no, she's not my sweetheart."

_Not yet._

"Unhunh, so that's why your face lit up like a Christmas tree when you got the letter. It wasn't exactly the same reaction you had from the ones last night, now was it?"

"Alec, you're worse than Mrs. Cope, our town librarian, who was always butting her nose in where it wasn't wanted."

"Yeah, well, see if I'm an easy ear when you want some advice."

"Who says I'm going to want your advice?"

"Trust me, soldier, if it's about a girl, everybody needs advice."

j~JJJ~j

Two days later, Jasper found himself outside the hospital room door of his friend. He quietly paced the hall, too excited to sit down, too nervous to stand still. He hoped to find Seth in good spirits and healing quickly. Moments later, the door opened and Seth's father stepped into the hall. His tired face softened when he found Jasper waiting. He walked quickly over to shake Jasper's hand, but Jasper snapped to attention and saluted the captain respectfully.

"Good to see you, private," Captain Winterbotham replied after returning Jasper's salute. "Seth's been bouncing off the bed since I told him you were coming today. He's grown more than a bit restless this week."

Jasper didn't know how to take the captain's words. He stood there almost dumbfounded by his kindness. He expected the wrath of a father whose son had been injured by his carelessness. The kind hand he offered Jasper was a far cry from what he had been expecting.

"How is he doing?" Jasper asked cautiously.

"They still won't allow him to talk; they want to give the sutures a few more days to heal before removing them. Until they're out, we'll just have to wait and hope for the best."

Jasper's shoulders slumped. The captain placed a light hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Hey, don't be so downtrodden. He's alive, and I owe that to you and to Corporal Masen."

Jasper could only stare at the floor and shake his head no.

"He's hurt because of me."

Captain Winterbotham shook Jasper forcefully to make Jasper's eyes meet his.

"Now you listen to me. That piece of filth traitor is the reason he's in here, not you. Don't you dare go taking a blame that is most certainly not yours. If anyone needs to shoulder the blame, it's me. I pushed Seth into Ultra with tales of honor and glory. He wanted this, and the risks are part of the job. He knows this just as well as you do. I'm no less grateful that you were there to save him." Jasper began to look down again, but the captain tightened the grip on his shoulder forcing him to meet the captain's eyes once more. "Take my gratitude. I don't have much more to offer for the sparing of my son's life."

With the force of the captain's words, Jasper nodded once and a small half smile appeared on his lips. The captain reached into his pocket and produced a small item about the size of a button. When Jasper studied it, he realized it was a tiny compass that the captain had held it out in his open hand.

"They give these to the pilots. This one was given to me by a dear friend. I want you to have it; I hope it will point your way home."

Jasper stared down at the tiny compass the captain had placed in his hand. He immediately remembered Alice's jar of treasures and decided it would make a nice addition to her collection.

_Perhaps the captain is right,_ he thought, closing his fingers around the tiny instrument. _Maybe this will lead me home._

_

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_

_A/N: _If you check out any of the references at the end of this chapter, I'd highly recommend reading more about the last one. The story about the miniature pilot compass is really cool. Next week we'll uncover another facet of Miss Brandon. She's sharp as a tack and has a biting wit to match. Given the right circumstances, she'll give back to Jasper as good as she gets.

Thank you for reviewing this story. It makes it all the more enjoyable to do this because I know you're enjoying it too.

-First Blush

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: Chapter 4 ****December 18, 1944 **

**Story reference: **Alec Browning tosses a carton of Lucky Strike cigarettes into his footlocker the day he meets Jasper.

**Historical Significance: **The brand's signature dark green pack was changed to white in 1942. In a famous advertising campaign that used the slogan "Lucky Strike Green has gone to war", the company claimed the change was made because the copper used in the green color was needed for World War II.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Lucky_Strike

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes the constellation Perseus and his love Andromeda in the December sky.

**Historical Significance: **December Constellations: Perseus

**Source: **http:/www(dot)seasky(dot)org/constellations/constellations-december(dot)html

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Perseus

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**Story reference: **Jasper talks about Mr. Newton being paid a visit from the county board of education

**Historical Significance: **_The Texas board of education wasn't founded until 1949, but in 1911 a law was established, enacting county boards of education. _

**Source: **http:/www(dot)mansfieldisd(dot)org/departments/communications/pdf/HistoryTXPS(dot)pdf

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper is anxious to see Seth who is recovering in at an army hospital in Heathfield

**Historical Significance: **By 1 August 1944, the general hospitals were filled to capacity. Many patients could not be sent to rehabilitation centers but could be evacuated from general hospitals to make bed space for casualties who required definitive medical or surgical care and treatment.

**Source: **http:/history(dot)amedd(dot)army(dot)mil/booksdocs/wwii/actvssurgconvol2/chapter6figure173a(dot)jpg

http:/history(dot)amedd(dot)army(dot)mil/booksdocs/wwii/actvssurgconvol2/chapter6(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper reads V-mail from his family in his barracks

**Historical Significance: **V-mail was used to save shipping space and cost in WWII. Letters were photographed and then the film was shipped stateside to be printed and mailed to recipients.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/northernireland/yourplaceandmine/topics/war/v_mail(dot)shtml

* * *

**Story reference: **Compass Button Jasper mails to Alice:

**Historical Significance: **British pilots were given button sized compasses to help them in the event of an ejection over enemy lands. They hid the compasses as buttons to avoid them being taken by the Germans upon capture. The link tells the story of one such pilot and his friend.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)chroniclelive(dot)co(dot)uk/north-east-news/evening-chronicle-news/2009/08/19/amazing-story-of-tiny-ww2-compass-revealed-72703-24480238/


	5. Chapter 5  Jan 2, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _****_The banner for this story can be found through my profile or at: _**http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/

* * *

**January 2, 1945**

Alice bustled about the downstairs cleaning and picking up the remnants of the holiday cheer. Tomorrow she would return to her students and the rush of her daily routine, but until then, she had one more day to herself. She decided there was no time like the present to pull down the final trimmings and sweep up the ever elusive strands of tinsel. No matter how hard she tried to catch them all, she would always find a few dainty threads of silver under rugs and in couch cushions through Saint Valentine's Day.

By early afternoon, she had the house cleaned and was awaiting the whistle of her teakettle. She'd planned on allowing herself the guilty pleasure of a half hour with Helen Trent. The afternoon romance drama broadcast on CBS was certainly over the top, as no woman Alice knew would get involved in murder for hire, but it was a chance to escape within the confines of her warm home on a cold winter day. The teakettle blew and Alice wrapped her fingers tightly around the steaming cup and plate of cookies as she made her way back to the front room. The radio hissed and crackled as she tuned it to CBS. Just as the beginning notes of the Aerowax commercial began to play, Alice heard the rumblings of her mail man, Cy, making his way up to her front step. Alice enjoyed her conversations with Cy, his bright smile and cheerful greeting would always brighten her day. The mail was normally delivered while Alice was teaching, so she took the off weekday opportunity to greet Cy at the door.

"How are you doing, Miss Brandon?" Cy bellowed as Alice swung open the door.

"I'm warm and cozy, which is more than I can say for you, Cy…cookie?" Alice offered her friend one of the left over gingerbread cookies that Bella had made last week. They weren't awful, but they definitely needed more nutmeg in Alice's opinion.

"Thanks. You've got a large stack here today. You know with the mail catching up from the holiday. Perhaps there's a final Christmas treat in there for you," Cy added with a cryptic wink.

"I'll thank you to keep your nose out of my mail," Alice joked. Her attempt to act stern was overpowered by her fingers flying toward the large stack Cy had held in his hands only a moment ago.

"Yes, ma'am," Cy replied with a tip of his navy cap. "You have a good one and don't hesitate to cuff one of my boys on the back of the head tomorrow if they step out of line. One word from you and those toys from Santa will be donated to their cousins in Idaho."

Alice laughed as she flipped through the envelopes. Cy's twin boys were more than a handful according to Mrs. Bixby, their fourth grade teacher, but they always were polite in the halls to her. "Will do, Cy—"

Alice froze as she fingered an oddly shaped envelope. Her smile grew wide as she read the name at the top of the return address, _PFC Jasper Whitlock_. Alice forgot her manners and quickly closed the door, almost right in Cy's face. He shrugged once, confirming his guess that Miss Alice now had some gentleman writing to her who was away at war. Cy smiled, noting the flash of excitement in Miss Brandon's eyes and her abrupt halt to their conversation.

"Yup," he mumbled quietly as he turned and hoisted his mailbag higher on his shoulder. "'Bout time you found someone to curl your hair, Miss Brandon."

As Cy bounded down the front step, Alice quickly switched off Helen Trent and raced up the stairs with her cooling tea to her window seat. She curled her legs up onto her lap and hoisted her father's silver letter opener. With one clean flick of her wrist, the envelope gave way and a tiny, carefully wrapped item fell to the floor. Alice bent down and grabbed it, wondering what Jasper could have sent her that when fully secured was no bigger than a quarter. The item would have to wait, Alice was too anxious to read the young man's words. She unfolded the paper, but she got no further than the line of greeting before pursing her lips and tossing all articles aside to grab her own pen and personalized stationary. She wrote a single sentence, signed her name and sealed it in an envelope.

Her feathers were riled, and she was going to prove a point. She hastily stamped and addressed the letter then raced downstairs in hopes of catching Cy before he had finished her street. Her coat hung half off her shoulders as she wobbled down her gravel driveway. The letter waved in the wind against the clamp of her teeth as she tried to walk and button her coat at the same time.

"CCccyy!" she called out.

Without gloves or a proper scarf, Alice was quickly chilled by the whipping wind. Once she finally got her coat buttoned, she removed the letter from between her teeth and tried again.

"CY!"

Upon hearing his name, Cy turned over his shoulder to see the young Miss Brandon running furiously in his direction. He paused from his mailbox stuffing duties at the Scamptons' house to make his way quickly back to Alice.

"Are you all right, Miss Brandon?"

"Yes, thank you," she replied half out of breath. "I just need to get this in the mail before I change my mind."

"Okay," Cy replied taking the envelope, which Alice had yet to release from her grasp. Cy gave it a little tug, until Alice realized how silly she was being and finally let it go. "Are you sure?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her odd behavior.

"Yes, Cy. I'm sure." Then a devious grin appeared on Alice's face.

_One way or another, his response to this letter will make me sure._

Alice's grin turned into a full blown smile. She thanked Cy once more for helping her then tore off as quickly as she'd come back in the direction of her house.

"That girl has definitely found somethin' to put some bustle in her step," Cy said to no one in particular.

He shouldn't do it, but he looked down anyway and took note of the address line, realizing it was the same addressee as he'd noticed on the oddly shaped letter, PFC Jasper Whitlock.

_Good for her._

Alice, now satisfied that she had put one PFC Jasper Whitlock in his proper place, returned to her now cold tea, her rather numerous pages, and her tiny parcel. The victory of moments earlier settled into warm comfort. Jasper's words made her smile and laugh and grit her teeth in mild frustration, but it was his closing paragraph that again sent a jolt through her heart.

_In closing, Miss Alice, I am sending along a tiny treasure for the jar that sits upon your school desk. It's a miniature compass. When held level, the magnetic needle should point you in the direction of true north. If I were to act as a self important snob, like Mr. Newton, I would say that the enclosed compass could be the key to unlocking another door in the mind of young Brady. Boys marvel over these types of things (trust me on this) and a little extra time is likely all he needs to point him in the right direction. However, if I were to be forthright, I would have to admit that I hope the compass lands where you can easily find it among the other treasures in your jar. I hope you see it when you sit each day. I hope you think of me when you do, and that you'll write me again soon. _

_ Please keep me and my new partner Alec in your prayers, so that we may both return safely home._

_ Be well,_

_ Jasper_

Alice's heart thudded upon reading his words. He was forward, far too forward for only his second correspondence. A mock smirk of impropriety covered Alice's face.

_Wonder what the Sunday church ladies would think if they got a hold of this? _

Alice thought she should just allow her quickly drafted single line note be her only words sent across the pond.

_If he still wants to write to me after that, then perhaps…_

Her eyes glanced down to the lovely letter in her hands. Jasper was quick witted, funny, mischievous, and quite obviously sincere. Alice rebelled against the idea of not returning his letter. He was too kind of a soul to brush off. Perhaps it was his youth that allowed him to be oblivious to his lack of decorum. Then again, he was in the best position to understand how short life was and wouldn't waste it on a cordial but impersonal correspondence. For all of her inner musings, Alice could only admit that no one had made her feel as alive as the words of young Jasper Whitlock. Perhaps, in this, the most unlikely situation, she'd found what had eluded her for years…a flicker of excitement. She would have to reply to PFC Whitlock to see if it could become a spark.

Alice dutifully picked up her pen and began her reply.

_January 3, 1945_

_Dear Private Whitlock, _

Alice began, knowing full well that her formal tone was purely an attempt to be flippant. From now on, he would be Private Whitlock until he no longer referred to her as "Miss Alice."

_ I hope that this letter finds you both in good health and good spirits. _

Alice sighed, knowing the start of the letter was already too formal. She crumpled up the paper and took out a new sheet of stationary to try again.

_Dear Jasper,_

_I hope you are well. It's worrisome that it will be nearly a month between our letters. I trust that both you and your new partner are safe from harm. From your letter, Alec sounds like a upstanding guy. Please ask him to keep an extra eye on you for me. You never know when either the enemy will strike or when the local debutantes will try to take advantage of a young soldier. _

_All joking aside, I hope Christmas was quiet if not peaceful on your side of the world. We spent the holidays with Edward's parents and his friend, Emmett McCarty. Edward met Emmett on the Queen Mary when they returned from Gourock. Emmett is an easy going fellow. He played Santa Claus for Serena, but she didn't take much of a liking to his costume. His joyful "Ho, Ho, Ho" left Serena in tears. But don't worry, I stepped in right away to look out for your goddaughter. _

…_Yes, you read my words correctly. You've been named as Serena's godfather. I guess that links us together as her godparents. I shall bear the title proudly, should you agree to rule beside me. I believe the position responsibilities include: spoiling rotten, ignoring most parent commands in favor of the child's desires, and ensuring that any and all boys are refused her presence until the appropriate age (otherwise known as when hell hath frozen over). I will be a valued partner in the spoiling department if you would kindly assist me in thwarting the advances of young suitors. I'm sure that if you polish your firearm as often as your last letter indicates, that the action will be both quite frightening and a natural deterren to those who seek her acquaintance. _

_Serena looked lovely in her white lace, baptismal gown last weekend, Emmett stood in for you. We looked like quite a motley pair. Emmett stands at over six feet and is as broad as my front door. I'm five feet two and a half inches (when wearing my heels), but don't let my size lull you into believing I'm not formidable when I want to be. I have yet to meet a seven year old who can outfox or outrun me. My paddle also makes swift justice for those who smart off to the teacher. Speaking of which, I most certainly would have had you over my knee for that stunt you pulled with Mr. Newton._

_You wouldn't have been able to sit for a week. (I hope that stuck up, blue nose got an earful from Professor Randall and a letter of reprimand for his behavior,) You should be ashamed for taking your teacher's notes. (I hope you changed enough stuff to keep him guessing for months) Students who act up as you did encourage other well-minded students to follow a similar troubled path. (I hope all the kids who were tormented by that oaf got a good look at what it was like to see him flustered at the blackboard. Please tell me he became a better teacher after this event or better still, that he chose a new profession altogether,) I'm thoroughly disappointed, Jasper, and that is all I have to say on that._

Alice bit the tip of her pen, hoping that Jasper would laugh at her joke. A vision of the uppity schoolmarm, as Bella often called her, appeared in her mind.

_So, you'd like me to spend my free time writing to you? Rather presumptuous of you, isn't it? What about all of the other things I have to do, like building airplanes, fashioning tanks from scrap steel I've found in the backyard and mapping out the strategic advances of our armed forces? Do you think I have nothing more engaging to do in support of the war? Well, allow me to put your mind at ease, I will do my level best to uphold my civic duties to my country AND save some time to return your letters. As an educator, I want to ensure you have every opportunity to use your brain and your brawn to fight the enemy. I must say, however, that if your only opportunity to use your brain, had previously been to clean your weapon, then we're all in a heap of trouble over here. _

_I can report that Brady's arithmetic improves each week. He also continues to covet the turtle shell from the jar on my desk. Although I am an advocate of various educational tools in support of my students, I will refrain from obtaining a pet snake for the young man, thank you very much. He may, however, be tempted by the compass you sent me. I thank you, sincerely, for sending me such a precious treasure for my collection. I will oblige your request and position it carefully so that I can see it when I'm seated at my desk. I worry, Jasper. Have you given me something too precious, something that should have remained with you to keep you safe? _

"Alice…we're back."

Alice was startled from her thoughts and worries over Jasper. She removed the pen from between her teeth and set it down on the half finished letter.

"Upstairs," she called out as she made her way around the banister to the top of the stairs.

When she reached the bottom, she found Bella and Edward removing their coats and carefully laying a sleeping bundle on the couch. Bella looked up from the adoring smile that she'd laid upon her daughter to carefully study Alice.

"So, I see you've gotten a lot accomplished while we were gone. Not a hint of that pesky tinsel anywhere."

Alice laughed. "You know me too well, Bella."

"I just know how persistent you can be about putting everything in order, in its place, at exactly the right time."

Bella's words held deeper meaning than just picking up the holiday decorations and some light dusting. She walked forward and placed her arms around her tiny friend and hugged her tightly.

"You look happy."

Alice smiled.

Bella glanced over her shoulder to see Edward staring at them suspiciously.

"Okay, later," Bella whispered in Alice's ear.

"So, how is Emmett doing?" Alice asked innocently. Bella and Edward had gone with Emmett to see Rosalie off. Rosalie was a nurse on the _Queen Mary_ and the next voyage would last about a month. Although she'd only known Rosalie and Emmett for a short time, it was easy to see their affection for each other. Alice was concerned about her new friend, Emmett, but she also wanted to divert the attention away from her playful smile and onto other topics.

a**AAA**a

The following night, Alice sat on her front porch steps layered in her heavy coat and her favorite brown afghan. She shivered from the cool air but continued to look up at the clear night's sky. A burst of light followed a resounding crack. Alice turned to see Bella pushing on the screen door to ensure it stayed closed this time and didn't flap back against the house in the blustering wind.

"Alice, what are you doing out here? It's freezing."

Alice only hummed in response, shrugging her shoulders as if it would be natural to sit outside in the dark on a cold winter night. Bella walked forward stiffly to the edge of the step. Alice reached out her hand to help Bella ease herself down to the step. Bella lifted the afghan from her friend's side to cuddle close and secure it around the both of them.

"Okay, it's quiet. Serena is sleeping and we're alone. Spill the beans."

Alice laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right, that's why you're freezing out here and staring into the night sky."

Alice sighed. "I'm just thinking."

Bella raised an eyebrow at her, an idiosyncrasy that she'd obviously picked up from her adoring husband, as if to say "go on."

"I'm thinking this is going to be the worst mistake I've ever made."

"How so?"

"He's young. I know it and you do too. He likely doesn't have much experience with women, so how is he to know…" Alice stopped and looked up again at Perseus in the night sky. She imagined Jasper as a young warrior saving Andromeda. "And besides," Alice continued, shaking her head. "Starting something with a soldier will only get me hurt. I can't see him or feel him or comfort him when he's scared. How can I develop feelings for a man who may never come home or may decide he doesn't want me if he does?"

"Alice Brandon, I've never known you to be a lightweight."

Alice turned to her friend and stared at her for a moment before they both burst out in laughter. Of course Alice was a lightweight. She was barely a hundred pounds, but metaphorically, Alice had never been afraid of anything. That was one of the things that had made the women fast friends as young girls.

"Shut up, Swan."

"Masen," Bella corrected.

"Right, Masen. You're married to the gorgeous, hunky man in there who drips with love and affection whenever you glance in his direction. The one who is _right. In. There._"

"Alice, there's not a lot I can tell you about when I was away at war, but I can tell you that Edward and I weren't always together. There was a time he had to leave me and that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life."

Bella shivered when she compared the visions of the air raid, her burning flesh, and the pain of fighting to deliver Serena. None of it compared to the pain of watching Edward leave and the agony she felt when she was later misinformed of his death. She steeled herself and took a deep breath before continuing.

"He was going off to the frontlines and leaving me behind. He begged me to be strong for him, to do my job, and to survive for him. Alice, I've been through it. I've lived it, and most importantly, I've survived it. That is why he looks at me the way he does. That is why I'd give my life for his in an instant. I did every last thing I could, with every ounce of strength in my body, to keep my promise to him. There were days when it was hard and when it seemed as though there was nothing left to live for, but I believed in his promise to me. That got me through."

Alice reached over and pulled her friend tightly into her arms. Tears fell down her face. Bella tried very hard not to talk about the war, and Alice feared the story behind the burns on her legs. Bella was all but admitting how close she'd come to death herself, and the thought tore Alice apart.

"You're strong enough," Bella breathed into her friend's shoulder. The two women held each other so tightly it was hard to tell where, Alice ended and Bella began.

Alice didn't speak; she just shook her head.

"Tell me this," Bella said, pulling back to look into her friend's anxious eyes. "Have you ever wanted this before? I know you're afraid, but have you ever wanted to give someone a chance like this before?"

"No," Alice whispered.

"Then you don't need me to convince you of anything. You've already made up your own mind."

"But what about my heart, Bella?"

"I would rather have loved and lost Edward in the war than lived and never known his heart. Serena and Edward are the biggest, most beautiful gifts I've ever received."

Alice's shoulders slumped, acknowledging that her friend had come into her own in her time away. She had little doubt of Edward's influence on the change.

"Besides," Bella added. "Don't you trust _me_? Do you think I'd give you over to someone who I didn't think was worthy of you? He saved me, Alice, just as much as Edward and Emmett did. Jasper was there, more than once, when we needed him. Jasper. Saved. Us. He helped Edward save _me_."

If any part of Alice had been teetering on whether or not to fall for Jasper, Bella's last words tipped the scale. Alice looked up at the stars once more, seeing the far off image of her hero. If she could have done anything in that moment, she would have flown herself to wherever he was and wrapped her arms around him in gratitude. Instead she settled for Bella's warm but slender arms. In her mind she tightened her grip around _his_ strong shoulders. _Thank you, Jasper, _she uttered prayerfully in her mind_. _Alice eventually released her friend, then took Bella's hands in hers. As the older of the pair, Alice had always taken care of Bella. She was so grateful to Jasper and Edward both for taking up her charge. She looked into Bella's encouraging eyes and allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks. She knew in advance that her heart would likely break over the man she might never touch. She determinedly lifted her chin and nodded once to Bella.

"I'll try."

a**AAA**a

Later that night, Alice sat at the small desk in her bedroom still racked with emotion over Bella's admission. She turned her pen, allowing the ink to begin to bleed into the page, and in turn poured out her heart in gratitude to Jasper.

_It's now been two days since I received your letter and tonight I found Perseus in the December sky. I did not know the tale or the constellation, but with the assistance of the local library here, I'm able to enjoy his beauty from this side of the ocean. He was very brave and noble. I can see why his story might stand out for you. It seems as though you have a lot in common with him. Ah, don't be modest, Jasper. My guess is that you're shaking your head as you read these words, but please don't. Bella shared some things with me tonight about the war. She doesn't like to talk about it, but when she saw me sitting outside alone, staring up at the stars, she decided it was time to enlighten me on the man you are and how your efforts saved her life. If there was no other reason on earth to cherish you, Jasper, that single act of saving my friend will indebt me to you for the rest of my life. Given the opportunity, I would take her place to free her from pain and keep her safe. Thank you doesn't seem to say enough, but it will have to do until I can look in your eyes and thank you in person._

_I told Bella my fears tonight. I worry that since I can't see you or hear you or offer you comfort when you're scared that I can't do much for you. With a little help, tonight I came to the realization that I can do something. I can agree to your request and write to you. I hope it helps you to know that I will be thinking of you._

_You'll be present in my lessons when I teach my students about astronomy or when I call them to the board for arithmetic. You'll be in my treasure jar and on my writing desk where I keep your letters. I'll see you in the night sky when I look up from my bedroom window. You'll be in my prayers before I rest my eyes. I'll be praying and hoping that you'll return home safely…and soon._

_God's love be upon you and keep you safe,_

_Alice _

* * *

_A/N:_ My heart goes out to Alice, it's taking a lot of faith for her to trust in her young suitor.

Okay, I have to admit my mind was in the gutter for the first half of Alice's letter with the paddle and taking Jasper over her knee, BUT keep in mind that corporal punishment was used in schools in the 1940's. My dad told me stories of the nuns pulling out his brother's hair in grade school. So although Alice doesn't mean to imply any overt come-ons with this letter, that doesn't mean that Jasper will react to them with complete innocence either… Next week we'll find how Alec saves Jasper from himself.

Thank you for reading and reviewing this story.

-FB

* * *

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter January 1945

**Story reference: **Alice allows herself the guilty pleasure of an afternoon radio program called The Romance of Helen Trent

The premise of this 1940s "soap opera" cracked me up….since I've recently edged into the 35+ crowd. Good thing I'm considered not quite ready for the romantic graveyard just yet… If you get a chance just listen to the first few minutes of the episode.

**Historical Significance: **The Romance of Helen Trent demonstrates "what so many women long to prove—that because a woman is 35 or more, romance in life need not be over." Bringing this message to 4M listeners of 203 nations, Helen is the queen of soap operas & the ideal of the romantically minded U.S. housewife of a certain age.

**Source: **http:/easyace(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2007_11_01_archive(dot)html (Nov 23, 2007 post)

Radio program: http:/www(dot)otrcat(dot)com/otr6/helen_trent_walks_into_a_trip_otrcat(dot)com_(dot)mp3


	6. Chapter 6 Jan 19, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

* * *

**January 19, 1945**

Jasper heard the whirring sound overhead growing louder and louder. His body reacted, and he began running full tilt toward the Packard.

"Fuck!" he shouted.

His feet skidded to a stop; the flying loose dirt nearly sent him crashing to the ground. He quickly righted himself, pried open the car handle and lunged across the seat bench. In a panic he clawed against the floorboard, scrambling to remove the intel from the hidden compartment. He frantically searched until he reached the envelope and dragged it from its hiding spot. A very short lived sense of relief hit Jasper as he pulled out his hand and clutched the papers tightly to his chest. Before he could make a move to turn, he heard Alec frantically screaming his name. A loud explosion hit close enough to rock the vehicle and slam Jasper's head against the steering wheel. Glass shattered around him and he felt the sting of the broken shards penetrating his skin.

_Shit._

Before he could utter a sound, he felt Alec dragging his body away from the burning vehicle. Everything around the two men appeared to be engulfed in flames from the aftermath. Jasper tried to help Alec by supporting his own weight, but he was of little help to his partner. When Alec had pulled him far enough away from the burning embers, both men slumped to the ground in exhaustion.

"Are you all right?"

"It's just a nick, Alec, I'm fine."

Alec tugged on Jasper's chin to examine the wound for himself. He eyed the stream of blood carefully before pulling out what he hoped was a clean bandage from his medical supplies.

"I think you're right. Just hold this in place until the bleeding stops."

Jasper complied, pressing the bandage just below his chin. Alec sighed hard, closing his eyes and resting his back against the same tree trunk beside Jasper.

"Geez, man, I have enough gray hair already, do you mean to give me more?"

Jasper only shrugged.

"Jasper, that was either the bravest or the stupidest thing I've ever seen a man do. Do you have any idea how close that Doodlebug was to finishing us off? When you hear the whirring, you duck and run for cover, not run back in the direction of the danger, you idiot!"

"We needed to get the Intel out before the bomb hit."

"Stupid fool, the Intel we can replace. _You_ we can't." Alec rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands in deep frustration. "If _you_ have no sense of self preservation, _I_ sure as hell do. My wife would like to see me make it back in one piece."

"Then what the hell are you doing in intelligence, Alec?" Jasper spat.

"Serving my country and saving your ass!"

Both men were silent as they watched the burning remains of what was their vehicle and the surrounding countryside. Jasper looked up at the sky. For the first time in hours, he realized the sun was starting to slip south and that the stars would be out in a few hours. They needed to be on the move if they were going to find shelter by nightfall. Jasper picked up the reports that lay between them and stuffed them into his shirt. The documents contained data on the U.S. 8th Air Force strategic operations over Germany. The 8th was initiating bomber attacks against _strike oil_ targets. The Intel that Jasper now had pressed against his chest would presumably assist those forces in thwarting the heavy resistance from _Luftwaffe_ fighters. Both Jasper and Alec knew that the intelligence would help bring them closer to ending Germany's advances after the Bulge. The Allies needed a decisive punch to cut down further attempts to win back the advantage, and the 8th was the fist that would deliver the first blow. Retrieving the documents wasn't a fool's mission, it was a necessity, and both men knew it.

"Come on, you little shit," Alec said teasingly. Frankly, he was in awe of Jasper's move to retrieve the intelligence reports from the Packard before the bomb struck. "We need to get moving and out of sight. With what you're carrying on your person, we're now a direct liability. We need to keep the information secure, and two healthy soldiers out on the road at night is bound to draw both unwanted attention and suspicion. We'll need to find a place to hunker down for the night."

Jasper quickly agreed, and the men set out in the direction of Nottingham. Together they kept to the line between the roadside and the woods. Neither of them wanted to get too far from the path that would lead them south in the direction of London. The worst situation would be if they got lost in the middle of the woods during bad January weather. They were cold and hungry as the afternoon sun sank lower and lower in the sky.

After about thirty minutes, the partners heard before they actually saw a group of three armored vehicles approaching them. Jasper immediately turned to head deeper into the woods while Alec grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him back into the middle of the road.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jasper hissed.

"Getting us the heck out of the cold, you're not well. We can't stay out all night. Just follow my lead."

The road the men were on was not well traveled, but they were bound to run into someone. Alec seized the opportunity to get his partner to shelter for the night. Jasper of course thought he looked and felt fine, but over the course of the last hour, Alec had noticed his exhaustion. Although the cut on his neck stopped bleeding, Alec feared the head injury was worse than Jasper had initially let on.

"I'm fine, let's get into the woods before whoever it is sees us."

"Too late," Alec crowed as the vehicles slowed their approach.

Armed, anxious soldiers were not to be trifled with; both men understood this simple fact. Alec decided to approach the men, knowing that they couldn't divulge their mission. He also knew that suspicion would get the two of them either shot or hauled off to detention as deserters. The first soldier stepped off the small convoy and pointed his rifle right at Alec's chest. Alec positioned himself slightly in front of Jasper and raised his hands in submission.

"Who are you?" the leader of the unit barked. He had yet to instruct his captain to stow his weapon.

"I'm Corporal Alec Browning, and this is PFC Jasper Whitlock. We're glad to see you guys."

The commander's stone hard face gave neither man the comfort they were seeking either from the weather or from being held under suspicion.

"Why are you out here alone?" the commander shouted.

"The vehicle we were traveling in was burned up by the Doodlebug. Did it damage any parts of your unit?"

The commander ignored Alec's attempt at diversion or plain small talk. He wanted to know what the hell two U.S. soldiers were doing unsupervised and out of uniform in the middle of nowhere without a hint of reason for it. He dispatched a few of his men to backtrack and search out their vehicle.

"Where is your unit? Why are you out here alone?" he questioned.

"We're on leave," Alec answered, ignoring the first question. He was treading on thin ice, and he knew it.

"Fine, show me your port passes and leave cards."

"Burned up in the car," Jasper sighed. It was the first time he'd spoken to the commander.

Jasper began to sway slightly but recovered before Alec could say anything.

"Going where?"

Alec thought quickly, trying to remember some of the towns he'd seen while traveling toward their drop.

"Don't laugh, but we were headed to church," Jasper replied. "When would a poor farm boy like me again have the chance to see 12th century Saxon-Norman architecture? We were on our way to visit St. James the Great in Hanslope. A friend of mine got married there a year ago and told me how beautiful it was. He said that the stone near the baptismal font nearly glows when the afternoon sun hits it through the window of St. James holding his staff."

Alec tried very hard not to allow his mouth to pop open in shock. That story was certainly more credible than anything he could have come up with on a moment's notice. Before he could mentally clap Jasper on his back for his cleverness, the two soldiers who'd been dispatched to find their vehicle were making their way back double-time.

"Sir," they halted their vehicle and jumped out to salute their commander.

"Out with it, McKenzie."

"A burnt out car, just like they'd said, sir, but it wasn't an army issued vehicle. It looked like an American make of some kind."

The commander looked over Alec and Jasper re-examining their civilian clothes.

"Care to explain, or should we shoot you on sight? I have no time for mysteries, gentlemen, and you're putting me and my men off schedule."

"Don't shoot," Alec said, throwing up his arms to halt some imaginary force. "We're—"

"We're certain Colonel Swan would be less than thrilled at not only losing his car today but two of his soldiers as well….sir." Jasper's voice was calm; it held no malice, no inappropriate accusation. Nonetheless, the statement still held an undercurrent of threat.

"Prove it. Prove you work for Swan."

Jasper's lips nearly curled in an appreciative smile. The memory was so close to the time when he and Edward searched for the units of penicillin that had saved Bella, Edward's wife. That night nearly all was lost, but Edward's calm demeanor had saved the day. Jasper decided to mirror is friend's cool manner. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out his letter of accommodation holding it out for the commander to take from his grasp.

Alec closed his eyes in prayer, questioning why Jasper had either been smart enough or stupid enough to bring a piece of identification with them on a mission. When the commander finished reading, he carefully folded the letter and placed it back in Jasper's hands. He turned and walked briskly back to his vehicle before calling out, "Hop in, boys."

Jasper sighed in relief. Alec caught him under the arm as he swayed a second time. Worry etched his face over the near certainty that Jasper had a concussion. The knot on Jasper's forehead was growing more discolored with each passing hour. Jasper ignored Alec's concern, worrying more about the commander, asking why they had an American car on leave in the first place. He hoped they would be able to steer the discussion away from that topic. Jasper wasn't sure he could think that quickly. His feet were becoming more and more numb with the cold. His mind felt almost as frozen. The drone of the engine lulled Jasper toward sleep. It was only Alec's constant pestering and the open air of the Jeep that managed to keep him awake for the long drive back toward London. Jasper stared up at the clear early evening sky wondering if they would still be on the road when the stars began to peel out against the dusk. Ever since he'd sent his last letter he took the time each night to look up and search out the stars. Deep down he hoped that Alice was somewhere safe doing the same.

j~JJJ~j

Jasper woke the following afternoon with a horrible headache and a dry mouth. There was a white bandage wrapped around his forehead and second adhered beneath his chin. He touched it gingerly, wincing in pain and remembering the nick of the doctor's needle as he put in a few stitches. Jasper contemplated the scar it would surely leave behind, a physical reminder of the war and how close he had come on multiple occasions to his own mortality. Before he could determine if the scar would be a good or bad reminder, the sound of hard footsteps woke him from his trance. Jasper couldn't help himself, a huge grin appeared across his face when Alec came clumping down the aisle toward his bed.

"So, you're awake?"

"So you're finally clean," Jasper retorted. "You were beginning to smell more than a bit ripe there, buddy."

"Ha, ha, if I recall correctly the singed hairs on my arm are a direct result of _your_ stupidity. But I'll say that I'd rather smell than look like you do right now. No eyebrows and white bandages. You look more like Casper than Jasper at the moment."

Jasper's brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Sorry, Casper the Friendly Ghost is a children's movie feature that just came out back home. My wife wrote about it in her last letter saying how much the boys loved it."

Jasper reached up and stroked the skin above his eye, realizing in a bit of disbelief that Alec was right. There no longer were any hairs covering the spot where his eyebrows once lay.

Alec laughed at Jasper's expression.

"Not to worry, my friend. Good thing letters don't come with moving pictures inside. Otherwise you'd have a lot of awkward explaining to do for your girl."

"What?"

Alec laughed again and reached inside his jacket before tossing a couple of letters onto Jasper's bedside.

"Those were on your bunk. I figured you'd like to hear from Miss Brandon as soon as possible."

At the sound of Alice's name, Jasper's heart lurched inside his chest. A thrill of excitement passed through him along with a now conscious recognition of how eager he was to hear from her. He reached forward and snatched the letters quickly, noting that one was much thinner and lighter than the other. He quickly decided to read the thin one first, leaving the thicker one for last, like a holiday desert. He was about to rip open the letter when he noticed Alec grinning at him.

"Guess this means you'd rather be alone. Sorry you're in a room full of other men instead of _alone _alone."

"Shut it, Alec," Jasper snapped with a red face full of embarrassment.

He wanted nothing more than to be left alone with Alice's letters. Still, he needed to thank his friend in more ways than one. He might not be sitting here today if Alec hadn't pulled him out of the Packard.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I do want to read these in private but—just thanks, Alec."

Alec only laughed at Jasper's obvious excitement over this girl's letters. He couldn't really understand why Jasper was so hesitant to call her _his girl._ The affection he had for her was quite obvious. Perhaps the girl was already spoken for? Alec didn't like the idea of that at all but resolved to keep his opinions and conjecture to himself until Jasper asked for his advice.

"Nothing to be sorry for. I'll catch up with you in the morning and harass you then," he laughed and shook Jasper's shoulder in light play. "See you tomorrow," he said with a smirk.

Jasper sighed hard as he watched Alec throw him a smug smile as he walked away. He knew sooner or later he'd cave to Alec's questions, but for now, he wanted to keep Alice's letters all to himself. In a way, it was a protective measure until he was more confident that her feelings mirrored his.

_No reason to show Alec how riled up I am over her if she's not interested. Alec would laugh his head off._

In truth, Alec would do no such thing. He'd rib Jasper every now and then to get a rise out of him, but he had no intentions of making Jasper feel down. The war did enough of that on its own. He sincerely hoped that whatever those letters contained that they would make his young partner happy, much as his own wife Jane's letters gave him comfort.

_Every soldier needs that to make it through this war._

Back inside Jasper lifted the lighter of the two envelopes, tore off the corner and blew inside. The single folded sheet of paper easily separated itself from the envelope. Jasper pulled out the fine linen stationary and unfolded Alice's single sentence letter.

_Mr. Whitlock,_

_I refuse to correspond with you any further if you continue to call me Miss Alice. I already feel old, no need to further bring it to my attention._

She didn't even sign it. Jasper's heart began to pump faster and fear covered him in a cold shiver. He lifted his hand to his forehead in an attempt to run it through his hair, only to wince in pain as his palm met the enormous bruise that was covered by the bandages.

"Ow! Damn it!"

He looked around the ward, hoping against hope that no officers were around to hear that. He swallowed hard and lifted the second envelope, unable to wait until later to find out what it contained. Repeating the same process as before, this time he pulled out a thick stack of sheets and scanned the words at the top.

_Dear Jasper, _

_I hope you are well. _

He stopped, more than a bit puzzled by this woman. Was she mad at him or not? Was she no longer writing to him? He put the letters down and looked over the envelopes, noting that the short, snippy letter was postmarked two days before the longer one.

_Is she teasing me?_

He read the second letter a little further then rolled his eyes at his own anxious reaction. A sly grin spread across his face. _She's teasing me. _The grin grew into a full blown smile. He was happier than he could have imagined. Surely this woman wouldn't mock him over his formal address without feeling something for him, he thought. He delved back into Alice's second letter with complete resolve to pay Miss Brandon back for her antics.

_After all, two can play this game._

Alice was light and funny. She amazed him with her quick wit and playfulness. As he read her words, he ran the gamut of emotions, everything from pride and protectiveness over Serena, his new goddaughter, to fear that a long distance courtship would be no match for someone at home who could hold Alice's hand and take her to the picture show. Despite Jasper's worries, the final few paragraphs nearly stopped his franticly racing heart. _She said __he__ would be on her mind. _Despite never having met and being so far apart, she wasadmitting so much to him in those few short lines. Jasper read the words over and over again, allowing them to seep deep beneath his layers of skin. His heart pounded harder when he realized the enormity of her words. Somehow within the span of a few short months, he had seeped into her life. She kept him in her thoughts throughout her days and in her prayers at night. Aside from physically being with her, there wasn't much more he could want. That night he easily fell asleep with a fervent wish that he would someday hold a young Alice Brandon whispered on his lips.

j~JJJ~j

Jasper was released from bed rest after a careful examination by his physicians the following morning. He thought all of it was too much fuss over what he considered to be a glass nick and a bump on the head. He'd be sure to pay Alec back for exaggerating the seriousness of his injuries to the medical staff. He was sure there wasn't anything wrong with him beyond needing more than a few hours of sleep, _until he tried to stand up. _

The room spun and two orderlies rushed over to his bedside to pick the nauseated private up off the floor. They quickly helped him back into bed while a nearby nurse hurried over to assess his symptoms. Shortly thereafter, Alec Browning entered the ward and saw a congregation of hospital staff gathered around his partner's bed.

"What's wrong with him?" Alec shouted as he made his way toward Jasper's bedside.

"Sir, you'll have to leave. He can't have visitors right now."

Alec stared at the orderly, contemplating the trouble he'd be in for ignoring the order. Instead he just kept his mouth shut and stared pointedly at the man, looking for an answer to his earlier question.

"He fainted."

"I sure as hell did not!" Jasper quickly replied, his southern drawl more pronounced when he was flustered.

With that Alec let out a loud laugh. Whatever was ailing Jasper couldn't be all that bad.

"Sit your ass back down, Jasper, and let them do their job. The quicker they do theirs, the quicker you can get out of here and do yours," Alec remarked. His voice was loud enough to carry across the few beds that separated the two men.

Jasper knew Alec intended the volume to speak for his intentions. Alec outranked him. Jasper huffed before settling down against the pressing hands of his nurse.

"Fine, I still didn't faint," he mumbled.

The nurse gave Jasper another once over before being satisfied that nothing too serious had happened with the patient. Although "patient" was the exact opposite word she'd use to describe the young Private Whitlock, who had been entrusted to her care.

"Ask for help before you leave the bed next time," she ordered before picking up her charts and moving off to the next soldier in her ward.

Jasper eagerly waved Alec over to his bedside. He didn't care what ribbing he'd have to take. He'd do just about anything to avoid the boredom of staring at the blank walls surrounding him.

The nurse caught Alec's approach and haughtily warned, "Just a few minutes, then you need to get going."

Alec nodded at her order before taking the open stool next to Jasper's bed.

"Holy crap, what is she, Gestapo?" Alec joked under his breath.

Jasper let out a good laugh. It was the first one he'd had all day.

"It's good to see you laugh," Alec noted. "You seem to be in better spirits, despite your lack of coordination today. I take it you got some good news from home?"

Jasper didn't reply. He only looked up and smiled widely at his friend.

"Good for you," Alec replied, tapping Jasper on the leg. "I won't overstay my welcome," he began, pointing a shoulder in the direction of Jasper's nurse. "But since you'll be in here a little while longer, I guess it was good that I brought these along just in case." Alec reached behind his back and pulled out some stationary and a pen. "It should help you pass the time, since you don't have the privacy to do much else." Alec chuckled.

"Again, just shut it, Alec."

Alec laughed and clapped Jasper on the shoulder before turning to leave. He made it a few steps away from the bed when Jasper called out to him.

"Alec?"

He turned his head quickly, looking to see what he could do for his partner before leaving for the night. Jasper only held up the stationary with a grin on his face.

"Thanks."

Alec nodded and made his way back to the barracks to pen a note to Jane and the kids before turning in for the night.

Jasper rubbed his thumb back and forth against his dry lips in anticipation.

_Where to start?_

He contemplated the letters beneath his pillow before a spark of inspiration hit and a wide grin spread across his face. He snatched up the pen and began the first of his two letters in response to the fair Miss Alice Brandon.

_ January 21, 1945_

_ Dear Miss Alice,_

_I'm afraid that this will be my last letter of our correspondence. You wound me with your insensitivity. Surely you must see me as no gentleman if you would force me to be so informal so soon in our courtship. My mama taught me to respect a lady and always act a gentleman, or I'd have no honor. How could a man expect a woman to seek his company if he has no honor?_

_With a heavy heart, Miss Alice, I beg your understanding and wish you much health and happiness._

_Yours, _

_Jasper_

Jasper lifted the paper and reread his words before stuffing them into the envelope and putting it on the side table to be picked up for the afternoon mail run. Once he was satisfied that he had fought her feisty fire with fire, he turned to the remaining blank pages that rest upon his lap.

_January 21, 1945_

_ Dear Miss Alice,_

_Yes, you are and will be Miss Alice, so please get used to it. You are deserving of your title, and until I am presented with the opportunity to know you on a more intimate level, I feel better safe than sorry in regards to your title and my honor. You never know who could pull up this letter and read it before it reaches your hands. The enemy and the Army both be damned, I wouldn't want anyone to think I had such little respect for a fine lady. Drat, I guess 'cussin' doesn't bode well to bolster the point I'm trying to make here; still, I'm confident you get the point._

_I suppose I don't really know where to begin. The most certain thing I can say is that your letters truly make me happy. That's no small feat, madam. My emotions run all over the board, which I suppose is to be expected in the midst of a war. A deep part of me longs for the quiet peacefulness of the ranch back home. I'd be most honored if you'd allow me to show it to you someday. Until that happens, I'm happy to take solace in your words. They bring me more comfort and peace than you could imagine. At the same time, I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to completely shoulder the burden of my moods. Yes, I miss home and family, but I do have the good fortune of a partner and friend in Alec. He's a good guy, and he does his share of looking out for me. Just this past week, he made sure I kept out of the cold and had the opportunity to use my intellect for more than cleaning my gun. Someday I'll fill you in on some of our humorous adventures. Alec is quite a crackup. _

Jasper grimaced. He wasn't being completely truthful about the mess he'd been in and how Alec had saved his sorry ass. Still, he knew if he wrote anything about it, it would be censored and blacked out before it ever reached Alice's hands. For now, this approach of brushing over sensitive and dangerous missions couldn't be avoided. He turned his thoughts to some of the more endearing parts of her letter, her concern over his innocence.

_Our daily jog rarely includes any local debutantes, but I'll be sure to keep my eye out for their subversive tactics. Always mindful of my reputation, I'll be sure to use Alec and his rather obvious wedding band as a deterrent while I keep my hands shoved in their pockets for warmth. I have no intention of giving any local debs the impression that I'm available. Now that that is out of the way and I've addressed your concerns, we should move onto more important matters… I'm a godfather! Wow, I must say that's the biggest slice of news to hit me in quite some time. Please don't misunderstand, I'm honored and grateful, just a little shocked. If Bella and Edward would like me to look out for little Serena as my own, I surely will take up the charge with humbled gratitude. It will also be a pleasure to partner with you and keep all would be suitors away from my girls. _

Jasper bit down on the inside of his cheek and shook his head. The innuendo was now out there. He was extending his hand in her direction and hoping against hope that she wouldn't shy away from it.

_I am confident that I'll have no trouble upholding my duties on that front. I think it's fitting that Orion is very bright in the sky this month. I shall use his place in history as a noble hunter and defender as my guide. Armed with sword, no suitors shall pass by me, my lady. With that in mind, let's start this partnership off on the right foot, shall we? Who may I ask is Emmett McCarty? After all, if he intends to be around you while you hold my goddaughter in your arms, I must make it my priority to know more about him. Perhaps I should trust him on some level. Edward is a smart man, and I'm certain he is as protective of his baby girl as he is his wife. Still, the idea of another acting as my "stand in" just sticks in my craw._

Jealousy and worry surged through Jasper as he wrote these lines. He wanted to be the one who was standing next to Alice in that church. He was afraid that someone there in the states could easily slip into the place that he coveted for himself. No amount of longing or letters could make him real or could give Alice the strong arms and gentle smiles she so justly deserved. Jasper didn't like the path the letter was taking. Harping on how far away he was wouldn't do his cause any good. He thought about telling her about Christmas here, but there wasn't much to report on that front. The food was better and the spirits brighter, but at the end of the day, their job wasn't done yet and wouldn't be until Europe was handed back to the Allies.

Instead, Jasper decided to poke a "little," pun intended, fun at Miss Alice.

_I guess I can take some solace in your reported self-sufficiency. I have no doubt that despite your handicap, being under five feet and all, that you possess the skills required to handle yourself and any seven year old who gets in your way. Now a twenty something year old man might be a completely different matter all together. I'm just kidding, Alice. I know from your last letter that these words will get your back up, but there's no need. I'm sure you can handle anything that's thrown at you. I would merely play a supporting role as my girls' liege and protector. I'm reminded of your threats to take raucous children over your knee. Just the thought of an angry version of you with a paddle sends shivers down my spine._

Jasper's eyes glazed over for a minute. He imagined Alice as a stunningly angry goddess poised to bring some discipline down on a much younger version of himself. He wouldn't know whether to cower in fear or thank God in Heaven for sending her to be his instructor. Jasper shook his head and laughed. _Good thing Alec doesn't read these_, he thought, _there is certainly more than one way to interpret that last statement._ Still, Jasper couldn't get the foggy vision of a self-determined mini-powerhouse out of his mind. He thought through his words and concentrated on the implication before putting pen to paper to carefully craft what he hoped would be a respectful request.

_Alas, I'm sorry to report that Mr. Newton hadn't learned much from my little stunt other than to keep his lesson book locked away each night. He continued to give his lessons in the same manner as before Professor Randall's visit. The only concession I believe I won was the reaction he had to my glaring looks. The unsettled look in his eyes told me he knew I could find something else to do to him and there wasn't anything he could do to stop me. Obviously his beatings had nothing on the sting of the belt at the hands of my old man. So I used his fear to wield a little power when he was being an especially arrogant jackass. Truthfully, I would have given my right arm to trade Newton for the likes of you, my dear Alice. I'm not confident that I would have been a better student, mind you. I'd have likely been staring glassy eyed at you all day. Speaking of which, Miss Alice, would you consider sending me a photograph of yourself? I mean, in your spare time when you're not re-assembling airplanes or sorting out strategic airstrikes with local generals. I can guarantee that the picture in my mind won't do you justice. It would be nice for me to place a face with the woman whose words constantly fill my mind. _

_I take no shame in admitting how often you cross my thoughts. I've often wondered since my last letter if you'd had the chance to look up at the stars. I do each night and look for Perseus from my side of the ocean. It lifts my spirits to hear that you do the same. Please don't think me too forward, but it concerns me that you would sit outside alone at night. Is it safe where you live? I hope so. If not, I'll need to call in a favor from Edward to check the locks on your windows and doors for me. It would give me peace of mind._

_Please tell your best friend that I'm both grateful for her advice to you and embarrassed that she would think I played that big of a role in her return to health. Edward had more strength and determination than I'd ever seen a man show. I am awed by his devotion to her and hers to him in return. Although I would love to be able to look in your eyes and accept your thanks for my small part in her return to the U.S., I am very embarrassed by your gratitude. I'd say that I was just doing my job, but that would probably earn me a tongue lashing from you. Instead I'll just say again that Edward was truly her savior. I only played a part in the effort. The real reason is that I'd prefer you not consider yourself to be indebted to me. Debt evokes the thought of a onetime repayment. I would much rather someday be your heart's desire and defender than your debtor._

_I'm very glad you liked the compass and that it will be within your sights each day. Please don't worry about me needing it here. I am well armed and have all the equipment I need to keep me safe. No, the compass is not too precious to send to you. It only became precious once you accepted it from me._

_It seems as though my letter has turned quite serious. So I shall attempt to lighten it a bit with another sordid tale from my childhood. This story is intended to be amusing, but I'm concerned it may have you running for the hills. Well, here goes. My father has his peculiarities, and one Christmas he got a wild hair and told my mother he wanted eel for Christmas dinner. Yes, eel. My eight year old stomach nearly lurched at the idea, but my mother, the saint that she is, smiled sweetly and obliged his whim. Two days before Christmas I followed my father into the only fish store within miles of Odessa. The shopkeeper met my father's request with a sly grin and led us down the steps to the basement of the building. It was dark and clammy, I remember that. The steps of the wooden stairs creaked, and I held tightly onto my father's shirt for balance. Once the owner reached the bottom step, he reached up and pulled a chain, bringing a single light bulb to life. It swung wildly, anointing the room with an eerie glow. At the far end of the room, nestled between the cinder block and the concrete floor, stood a white porcelain tub. As we approached the knot in my stomach grew. The tub was filled about halfway with water, and no less than five black eels, longer than my leg, were swimming in the tub. My father nodded at the shopkeeper upon seeing his future meal and without a second thought the man reached into the tub, grasped one of the eels, brought it forth, and abruptly bashed its head into the water pipe next to the tub. How I managed to keep my lunch in my stomach, I'll never quite know. After dinner lost its head and was wrapped for transport, Dad and I made the long drive home. Lest you think this is the end of this horrid nightmare, let me go on. Once we got home, ma frowned at the delicacy my father had returned with, not quite sure how to cook it. She told my father to "skin it" and sent us down to the cellar. Now, imagine a rather thin eight year old boy being pulled around the cellar as he played tug of war with his father, a pair of pliers and the most slippery disgusting meal of which one could ever conceive. Now add the horrid task of trying to eat the thing the following day. My mother did her best to make it edible, but knowing the path the eel took to reach my dinner plate made me lose any appetite I'd once had. In my father's house, no food ever went to waste. So I managed to eat what I could and helped my ma discreetly feed the rest to the dog. To this day, if I don't raise it, I don't have much of a mind to eat it. I'm in an unfortunate situation here, but it's either eat or starve, so for now I rely on Uncle Sam's cooking for sustenance._

_I'll have to finish my letter here, Miss Alice, as Alec has been giving me a hard time about laying down on the job. Before I leave you, I feel like I should come clean with you since you ended your last letter with such a candid admission. My façade of being a strong soldier will slip as you read this. The truth is your fears are mine, Miss Alice. At home you have men like Emmett McCarty who are there with you, who can take you on a proper date and hold your hand and wrap a warm coat about your shoulders. I can only give you words, not warmth. All the same, I am a selfish man. The loneliness here is great, and if you are willing to hold yourself open and write to me, then I will gratefully accept your gift and wait for the opportunity to someday hold your warm hand in mine. I eagerly await that day._

_Until then, yours patiently,_

_Jasper_

Jasper sealed the envelope and then shook his head in frustration. He forgot one thing to add to his letter and Alec had only the one free envelope at his bedside. He quickly scribbled a P.S. on the back before setting it out for the daily mail call.

* * *

_A/N: I owe credit to the "eel" story to my father. This actually happened to him when he was about nine and living in South Philly. I have to say that my Nanny was a saint. Next chapter we learn why Alice won't settle when it comes to her heart.  
_

Thank you for reading let me know what you think.

-FB

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**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **January 19, 1945

**Story reference: **Jasper and Alec narrowly escape the aftermath of a doodlebug that lands far too close to their vehicle.

**Historical Significance: **The Doodlebug also called The flying bomb were launched over England from June '44 – March '45. At their peak, 100 were launched per day

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/V-1_%28flying_bomb%29

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**Story reference: **Alec admonishes Jasper for running toward the Packard to retrieve the intelligence information before the doodlebug hit

**Historical Significance: **_Over Britain_... The last German V1 launched from an He111 bomber lands on Yorkshire.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/jan45/f14jan45(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Jasper tells Alice he will be her and Serena's defender just as Orion hunted in the night's sky.

**Historical Significance: **Orion is one of the brightest and most visible constellations in the sky. You can see it clearly between October and March

**Source: **http:/www(dot)seasky(dot)org/constellations/constellations-january(dot)html

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**Story reference: **Jasper tells Alice he wishes he were like Orion and he could walk across the ocean to be with her.

**Historical Significance: **In mythology, Orion, the son of Poseidon, can walk on water.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Orion_%28mythology%29


	7. Chapter 7 Feb 8, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

Just want to say _thank you :) _to whoever wrote last week's sparklingcitrus cannon couple review of The Long Way Home_**.**_ The reviews and rec's are very much appreciated.**_  
_**

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**February 8th 1945**

Alice stepped out into the unusually temperate February sunlight and peered out into the schoolyard. Loud, raucous shouts and cheers emanated from a pack of elementary school boys while squeals and hopscotch chants came in the direction of similarly aged girls. Alice noted the girls playing doubledutch and the boys running with pretend finger guns as cops and robbers. It all looked like well managed chaos, and a smirk appeared on her face at the sight. Fortunately for Alice, she hadn't been assigned schoolyard duty today; she was merely outside to soak up some much needed sun.

A hard gust blew sending a bout of shivers through Alice who pulled the lapel of her coat tighter around her shoulders in response. _So much for the freakishly warm weather,_ she thought. She looked down and shivered only to notice one young girl at the bottom of the steps, sitting all alone.

Even though her back was turned to Alice, the child was easily recognizable. Her fine wool coat and deep brown braids tied with red satin ribbons gave her away. Alice noticed the new leather Mary Janes and the wool stockings that coordinated with the hem of the pleated skirt that peaked out from the edge of her coat. The girl sat with her elbow upon her lap and her cheek cradled against her fist. Alice made her way down the steps and stopped at the bottom just beside the little girl.

"How are you today, Miss Leah?" Alice asked in a cheery tone.

The little girl looked up with big wide eyes and gave Alice an answer that did not at all match her posture.

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied politely.

"What are you doing over here all by yourself? Don't you want to play with the other children?"

The girl returned her cheek to her fist and mumbled, "No, not really."

Alice's nose wrinkled as she scrunched up her mouth in a pucker. Something was off.

"Mind if I sit down?" she asked.

"No, ma'am," little Leah replied, tucking her skirt beneath her thighs to allow some more room for Miss Alice.

Alice sat down and took in a deep breath of fresh air. The sun was strong enough to turn the back of her eyelids red as she closed them against the noontime sky. For a moment, she wrestled with how to bring whatever was bothering little Miss Clearwater out from behind her shield.

"So what is it you _do_ like to play?" Alice asked nonchalantly.

Leah turned her head, almost stunned that a teacher was asking her what she _wanted_ to play. After all, it had nothing to do with reading or writing or her education. Alice just waited patiently and stared out at the schoolyard. Leah composed herself before letting out a sigh and returning to her former position of acceptance or boredom.

"Doesn't matter, I can't play it anyway."

Now Alice knew something was up.

"Why would you say that?" she asked indignantly. "Surely if you _want_ to play something, you _can_."

This got little Leah's back up.

"No, ma'am, I can't. The boys don't want to play with me."

Alice's brow furrowed again. This wasn't at all what she had been expecting.

"Leah, what exactly is it you want to play?"

Leah only huffed but after a moment, a mumbled plea fell from her lips. "I want to play cowboys and Indians. The girls don't want to play that, and the boys don't want to play with _me_."

Alice bit back a grin at Leah's request and innocent plight. She didn't want the girl to think she was making fun of her.

"Well, Miss Leah," Alice began. "I think you have two choices here. You can sit on the step and mope your way all through recess, or you can make up a plan to get the boys to play with you. I don't know about you, but for me, the steps are getting might chilly against my britches."

Leah couldn't help but laugh at a teacher saying the word "britches." Her laugh turned into an undignified snort and poor Leah suddenly remembered her manners and swiftly clasped her gloved hand over her mouth. This made it really hard for Alice not to laugh at the girl. The sound was completely comical, and the fact that it had come from the mouth of one of the most well-bred girls in Easton was in and of itself humorous.

"Well, they are!" Alice squealed, brushing her shoulder up against Leah's and knocking the girl a little off kilter. This only made the girl laugh harder. "Do you want to come up with a plan?" Alice asked conspiratorially.

Leah quickly nodded, and a spark of ingenuity flittered across Alice's lovely face.

"Good." Alice winked. "I think you need to develop your tribe of followers."

"Tribe of followers?" Leah asked questioningly.

"Yes, if you're the chieftess, then the clan or tribe are your followers."

Leah stared at Alice as if she had lost her mind. Her eight year old brain couldn't wrap itself around the idea of her leading a pack or tribe or clan of anything.

"Why would they follow me?"

"Why not?"

Leah didn't have an answer for that one.

"Okay, I think the boys will want to follow you, Chieftess Leah, if you show up with the right equipment. You know feathers and a headdress and wampum." Alice made motions with her hands helping demonstrate a long, tall headdress, and she rubbed her thumb against her pointer finger signaling money.

"But where will I get those things?" Leah asked.

"We'll make them."

Suddenly a spark of joy flitted across the young girl's face. "Do you think it will work?" she asked excitedly.

"Of course," Alice replied, waving off the girl's questioning look. "You give me a day to get the supplies and then make sure you ask your mom if it's okay for you to stay late, and I'll meet you in my classroom after school on Thursday. Sound good?"

"Yes!" Leah shrieked. "I mean, yes, Miss Brandon," Leah replied, shaking her head to remember her place.

Alice only tapped the girl on the shoulder and smiled. It wasn't easy being the daughter of one of the most influential men in the county. It was pretty obvious to Alice that young Miss Leah had been taught manners and proper etiquette from a young age. Alice felt bad for the girl, who didn't seem to have much of an opportunity to act her true age. Hopefully with some scissors and glue and perhaps a few stray feathers, Alice could help her change that—at least for a little while.

a**AAA**a

Alice shivered against the wind as she made her way down her long driveway. By the time she'd made it home from school, the afternoon sun had nearly set. Alice did her best to ignore the cold as she raced the final few steps to the old, black metal mailbox. She wrenched the lid open and threw her hand inside. The days of gingerly opening the door in fear of a Western Union telegram about Bella were now long gone. These days she eagerly approached the stack of mail that was awaiting her. Each day she tried to quell her hopes that somewhere in the stack would be a new letter from Jasper. Her attempts to reign herself in rarely worked. In fact, as the days after his last letter grew, Alice found herself increasingly disappointed with the speed of the U.S. Post. Today she grabbed the stack with frigid fingers and flipped through each piece with lightning speed until she reached the small white envelope she had been searching for, a letter from Jasper. As soon as she recognized his now familiar handwriting, her face lit up into a beaming smile.

Alice tore back up the steps of the porch, slamming the screen door back against the frame. The door flew closed behind her as her fingers wrenched open the buttons of her wool coat. It went flying against the easy chair as she kicked off her shoes and crawled into the corner of the couch. Despite all of her efforts to remain unruffled, Alice was burning with excitement over clutching another note from PFC Whitlock. Without even a glance in the direction of the stairs and her father's silver letter opener on her desk, Alice ripped open the envelope and pulled out the lone sheet of paper inside.

She tried to hide her disappointment at the brief note. _Perhaps he was running short on time or out somewhere where he couldn't write. After all, he is at war, _Alice thought in an attempt to quell her disappointment. The other side of that coin brought to bear her fears over Jasper being out in the middle of a battlefield. She knew he was stationed in London and that he wasn't near any heavy fighting, but the thought still unnerved her. Whatever Bella and Edward had been involved in during the war was dangerous. She also knew that was where they had met Jasper, so it was quite obvious that he was involved with the same line of work. Each night Alice listened to the war updates and cringed over the reported bombings over London. Alice quickly shook her head and pushed all of that aside in favor of reading Jasper's words. They were the one thing that could ease her from these worries.

Her eyes quickly traced the scarce lines on the page. Her right hand lifted to cover her mouth and her eyes went wide. Alice had to read the words three times before they finally began to sink in.

…_last letter…you wound me_

Alice flipped through the rest of the mail one more time, hoping against hope that this was some kind of a misunderstanding or a horrible joke. _How could he believe I had so little respect for him? _Then the realization hit Alice like a freight train.

_What if he never received my second letter? What if he thought I was being serious? What if by the time he did receive my real letter he'd decided he'd had enough of me?_

Alice's shoulders slumped, and a deep feeling of loss hit her harder than she could have anticipated. They had only exchanged a few letters, but in these past months, she'd come to realize that she needed more out of her life than the white picket fence and the stature she was supposed to aspire to in society. She wanted someone real who made her heart flutter, who laughed and joked and bit back and made her insides melt. The solitary page she held in her hands made her realize that the best opportunity she'd had to find it had just flitted away. Alice covered her face in her hands and tried very hard not to cry.

Hours later, after a dinner of hot tea and a piece of unbuttered toast, Alice tried for the third time to explain her reasoning to Bella.

"Because he's young, Bella, because if he's decided that this isn't for him, if _I'm_ not for him, then I'd rather know now when it hurts like a broken arm rather than later when it will hurt like setting my arm on fire."

"Alice," Bella chastised. "I've never known you to be a quitter. Why are you giving up now?"

"Bella, I'm tired," Alice replied, evading Bella's question completely. "I need to go to bed so that I can get up for school tomorrow morning."

Her heart ached. A strong part of her wanted to listen to Bella's advice and write back to Jasper anyway, but Alice's insecurities about her age kept her from committing to Bella's plan.

"Too damn bad!" Bella roared. "As you know I get precious little sleep these days with Serena's feeding schedule, so I think you can manage one rough morning to deal with this. We're not leaving this conversation until you promise me you'll write back to him. If he doesn't know your feelings, then make him understand them. He's a smart boy, he'll—"

"That's exactly right, Bella. He's a _boy_."

"Ugh," Bella grunted in frustration. "Get this through your head. He is a _boy,_ and you are a _girl_. Together you make new boys and girls. That's how it works."

Alice laughed hard at Bella's simplistic attempt to teach Alice about the birds and the bees. At least her pitiful attempt at a joke was working. Alice sighed hard enough for Bella to hear it on the other end of the line. She cradled the phone against her ear and twirled the thick, black phone cord in her fingers before conceding to part of Bella's request.

"I'll think about it."

"But—" Bella began.

"No buts, I said I'd think about it. I'm going to bed. I'll call you tomorrow."

This time it was Bella who sighed. At least she hadn't lost the war. She'd do battle against her friend's dejected self-esteem again tomorrow night.

"Love you, Alice," Bella whispered.

"Love you too, B. Kiss my baby for me?" Alice asked, thinking of how she missed seeing little Serena now that they'd moved up to New Jersey.

"I would, but he's in the shower at the moment."

"Ew, Bella. That's ridiculously crass and equally disturbing."

"I know, but I wanted to get a rise out of you. No more sulking, go to sleep, figure out a plan and then get to it. Then in the meantime, I'll kiss your goddaughter for you and tell her what an amazing woman her aunt is."

Alice smiled and half snickered into the phone. The advice from Bella was a whole lot like the advice she'd given little Leah Clearwater not twelve hours ago.

"I'll call you tomorrow," she replied.

Alice laid the receiver on the cradle and left her cooling tea on the counter by the kitchen sink. When she climbed the stairs and finished getting ready for bed, she realized her mind was still turning with what to do. Deciding she was too drained to come to a decision tonight, she curled up in bed with a translation of Metamorphoses and became lost in the tales of Perseus and Andromeda. Not ten minutes had passed before her eyelids grew heavy, and her dreams of a brave warrior morphed into a young soldier sent to rescue her from the horrid matchmaking devices of her church's coffee clan.

Two days later, on Thursday afternoon, Alice found herself at her school desk staring down in chagrined disbelief at Jasper's four page letter. She'd probably read it close to twenty times in the last twenty hours. Each pass over his words pulled her mouth up into a beautiful smile. Alice reread his closing and stared off glassily.

…_if you are willing to hold yourself open and write to me, then I will gratefully accept your gift and wait for the opportunity to someday hold your warm hand in mine. I eagerly await that day._

_Until then, yours patiently,_

_Jasper_

"This boy is going to be the death of me," Alice murmured.

"Which boy?" a small voice called out.

Alice jumped with a start and spun her chair around from the window beside her desk to face the puzzled expression on Leah Clearwater's little face. Alice looked appropriately embarrassed that her voice had been loud enough to carry over to the eight year old's little ears. She picked up her letter and placed it back into the envelope, snickering once at Jasper's quickly scrawled note on the back.

_P.S. I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now. What did Bella mean when she told me to ask you about the "J" in the apple game?_

Once again Alice's smile grew, and as she turned to place the envelope back into her satchel, she noticed that Leah's expression hadn't changed and that she appeared to be waiting expectantly, although politely, for a response.

"Well, I've—I've been writing to a soldier who is away at war."

Leah's brow wrinkled in confusion, "A soldier?"

"Yes," Alice replied patiently. "A U.S. soldier who is serving in London, England. He is very brave and very kind. He helps fight our enemies and keep us safe."

Leah's face puckered as if she knew more than her teacher did. "That hardly sounds like a boy to me. There aren't any boys around here who I'd call either brave _or_ kind."

Alice tried very hard not to laugh at the little girl's sour expression. She knew that Leah was thinking of her own classmates, but as her words sounded in Alice's ears, she couldn't help but wonder if Leah truly had wisdom beyond her years. Somewhere deep inside of her, Alice started to wonder if he wasn't a _boy_ to her either.

a**AAA**a

By Friday afternoon, Alice and Leah had assembled quite a sizeable wardrobe for her tribe. As they began cleaning up for the day, Alice tested Leah about the things they had learned in her studies.

"So what is the tribe called?" Alice asked.

Leah garbled the pronunciation so Alice tried again.

"It's pronounced 'Pow-HAT-un.' 'Pow' rhymes with 'cow,' and 'HAT' rhymes with 'cat.' Where did the Powhatan's live?"

"They lived in Virginia but migrated north through Maryland and into Pennsylvania and New Jersey."

"Very good," Alice replied. "Now what made Chief Powhatan different from other chiefs?"

"He was more like a European king than an Algonquian chief. He ruled with absolute power, not through a council."

"Excellent, Leah. You really learned a lot in these last two days. Okay, one more. Who was the most famous Powhatan Indian?"

Leah rolled her eyes as if to mock the simplicity of the teacher's last question.

"Pocahontas, of course."

"Of course," Alice replied. "So, do you feel like you're ready to show the boys who's the chieftess on Monday?"

Before Leah could answer, another small voice spoke up.

"What's a chieftess, can I be one too?"

Both Leah's and Alice's heads turned in the direction of the door only to find Brady's brown, floppy waves and freckled grin staring back at them.

"No, you can't. A chieftess is a _girl,_" Leah added sarcastically.

"Leah," Alice reproached. "A good chieftess brings everyone into the clan. They all work together, remember?"

"But he's too little," Leah whined.

"He's little, but he's a _boy,_" Alice added quietly with raised eyebrows. "Every chieftess needs a clan. Without followers, she's just playing by herself."

Leah hung her head and sighed.

"Okay," she said to Brady. "Come on, we'll show you how to play."

The little boy ran toward the table, filled with excitement. For once, the turtle shell had been forgotten.

a**AAA**a

Alice sat down at her writing desk with a grilled cheese sandwich and a steaming bowl of tomato soup. The meal wasn't gourmet by any means, but it was quick and that's exactly what Alice was looking for tonight. She hadn't even bothered to turn on the radio this evening. She was too anxious to get her nervous energy out into words in her response to Jasper's letter.

With the crumbs of her sandwich brushed lightly from her fingertips and her napkin wiping the remnants of her soup from the corners of her mouth, Alice pushed aside her plate in favor of her pen. For a moment she lightly tapped the edge against her full lips before a slow smile pulled her cheeks into rosy round cherries. With a wicked glint in her eye, Alice turned her quick wit into written word.

_ February 11,__1945_

_ Dear Jasper,_

_How wise of you to position yourself across an entire ocean when I received your last letter. It isn't often that I'm told to "get used" to something. I don't know whether I should act petulant or be grateful that you take my title of Miss so seriously. I should also raise a skeptical eyebrow at your desire to know me more intimately. Just think of the scandal your words would cause should your letter fall into the hands of the women in my church's coffee clan. _

_Jasper, pick your chin up off the floor. I'm kidding, but I must say that your cussing did surprise me. Not the use of the vulgarity, but rather the slang. Cussing? You confuse me, dear Jasper. One moment you're describing astrology and mythology, and the next you use the slang of someone with a fraction of your intellect. I feel I must get to know you better to unravel the mysteries of your enigmatic mind._

_In all seriousness, it makes me smile to think that my letters make you happy. It would be a gross understatement to say that yours do the same for me. Just the thought of the end of our correspondence, if only in jest, made me very sad. _

In that moment, despite her concerns that Jasper's inexperience coupled with her own age would leave him looking in greener pastures, Alice decided to take her own advice. She would open herself to Jasper and place her heart squarely in fate's cold hand.

_I don't know how else to describe it to you, other than to say that your endearing words, quick wit, and love of fairness have allowed you to slip beneath my defenses. This is something I can promise no man has done before. The truth is that I look forward to seeing the land you call home and learning to ride under your tutelage. These little plans give me more to look forward to than just meeting you in person. I like the idea of looking toward tomorrow with thoughts of you in mind. _

_Now I must add a bit of a reproach. Were you mocking me with your tease about the local debutantes? I should hope not, but I do like the plan of using Alec's wedding band as a shield. After all, if I'm going to take my limited free time away from the generals to correspond with you, I should hope you'd consider yourself unavailable for them. _

_It sounds like Alec does his part keep you out of trouble, and I take comfort in that. At the same time, I wonder exactly what kind of trouble are you getting yourself into? Should I be more concerned than I already am? I try not to think about the danger you place yourself in. The anxiety would give me gray hair and I need no further indication of my present age. I'm glad that you get along well with Alec, but unless you decide to impart some of your shared humor with me, I shall begin to question the sort of influence he has on you. As you've mentioned in your last letter, you and I are partners now, and as such, we should look out for each other and do some careful checking into the company the other keeps._

_Speaking of which, I have to tell you how happy Bella and Edward were to learn you accepted the charge as Serena's godfather. Bella was ridiculously happy when I called her last night and told her of your letter. I think her exact words were, "I knew he was the right man to look after my girls."_

Alice laughed a little at the tongue in cheek comment. Bella said something closer to _I told you so_, when Alice read her that part of Jasper's letter last night. Alice smiled shyly at the thought of being one of the girls that Jasper vowed to protect. The innuendo hadn't been lost on her.

_If we were standing face to face today, I'd look you squarely in the eye and tell you that you may think yourself subtle but you're not. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Emmett Francis McCarty. Emmett is about as attractive to me as the sons of the coffee clan ladies. Which is to say that it amounts to not at all. Aside from this fact, he is also quite taken by the lovely Rosalie Hale, a nurse he became enamored with during his trip back across the Atlantic. You do worry me when you sound so sullen about Emmett being your stand in at Serena's baptism. There isn't much I can offer you to fix that, other than to say that you're not the only one who wished it was your hand that had been laid upon Serena's soft head. After all, every time I turned to look up at Emmett to provide a response during the ceremony I got a horrible crick in my neck. Are you laughing at me? You should laugh. It was a joke. Though mind you, keep the short jokes you supply on your own to a minimum, else my paddle will appear._

_This is a bit of an uncomfortable segue for me, but it's one I want to ask in an attempt to know you better. More than once you've mentioned your father beating you. Did that happen often? I realize corporal punishment is common, but my father never laid a belt to my sister or me. I don't think it is something I could stomach to watch or accept with my own children someday. I just want to see the situation through your eyes, if you'll allow me._

Alice looked over Jasper's letter and thought about his request for a picture. A wicked grin appeared on her face as she discovered the perfect way to get back at him for making her crazy. She quickly brought out a fresh piece of stationary and wrote a short, little note in response. This time, however, she would place this letter in the same envelope as her longer one to ensure that Jasper never again had to be uncertain of her intentions. She liked their playful banter, but she would never purposefully expose him to the heartache she'd felt over the last two days. She continued on with her letter, ignoring the request for her photograph.

_Since I'm asking you to open up to me, I'll give you no less in return. As I said, my father never laid a hand on me or my sister in anger. He had a very interesting approach to child rearing. All arguments were discussed logically until he felt that my sister and I were able to see the error of our ways. Perhaps this was the antithesis of his profession. My father is an attorney. He spends the better part of his day arguing and fighting for his clients. I imagine he looked forward to some solace when he finally returned home. To be quite honest, my sister and I often acquiesced to these orations quickly, not because we agreed with him, but rather because we didn't want a twenty minute lecture on the importance of eating green vegetables. _

_My parents' relationship is similar to Dad's approach to childrearing. I don't mean to give you the impression that they don't love each other; they do, but my fundamental idea of a loving relationship came more from my grandparents than my parents. My mother and my sister are two peas in a pod. They are interested in the town talk during bridge club, the starch in their husbands' kerchiefs, the stylishness of their hairdos and the patterns of the china in their curio cabinets. I find it very forged, and it's not me. I am more my grandmother's daughter than my mother's. I live in the house that I inherited from her, and my fondest memories are contained in that kitchen. We were making a cake for my grandfather's birthday when a tune he liked came on the radio. He strolled through the dining room and into the kitchen and pulled my grandmother away from her task of stirring the dry ingredients. The wooden spoon flipped out of her hand as his arms curled around her waist. He hummed softly in her ear. She swatted at him and argued that he was ruining her cake. He ignored her and turned her to face him. Disregarding the flour which covered her housecoat and the mess at the table, he took her hand in his and twirled her around the small space between the stove and the table. She laughed and called him an old fool. He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose before pulling her closer to him. I watched as his lips brushed her ear, and he crooned the refrain, "Dream a little dream of me." Even as a little child I could recognize the bashful smile of happiness on her face. It came from a woman who was being adored. When the song ended, he pulled back, and I let out a cackle at the flour that was now covering his tweed waistcoat. My grandfather abruptly pinched some flour from the table and tossed it in my direction. I scrambled under the table to hide but heard the smack of his lips against my grandmother's skin. I looked up from my hiding spot in time to hear him whisper, "Thank you for the dance, Caroline. It makes the day that much sweeter." _

Alice looked over at the clock by her bedside and realized it was getting rather late. She yawned sleepily before shaking off the call of her bedclothes. She wanted to finish this letter before she left for Bella's in the morning. She had already told her parents that she was going out of town to meet with other elementary teachers to begin plans on a state wide curriculum that would encourage the use of art in everyday lessons. Alice knew the fib might someday come back to bite her, but she promised Bella that she would keep her return to the U.S. a secret from her parents. Whatever danger Bella and Edward had faced in London, Alice had no intention of doing anything to bring it to Bella's doorstep and Serena's cradle. So for now, Alice avoided the topic of Bella whenever she spoke to her parents or gave vague responses to their inquiries.

_Jasper, you mentioned wanting to be my defender, but I don't want you to worry. There's no need to call in Edward to check my locks. My father did a mighty fine job of helping me restore the locks when I took over the old gal from my grandmother. I live in a farm community, and although I don't tend land myself, I can assure you that the neighbors are very kind and would help me in a pinch if I needed anything. Put your mind at ease on this, please. You have more important things to concern yourself with, like the enemy with the ammo pointed in your direction. _

_I trust your words when you said that you have all of the supplies you need to keep you safe. You embarrass me with your words about the compass. If the compass only became precious because I accepted it, then allow me to send you a small kindness in return. _

Alice yawned once more, realizing that her body's call to slumber was growing more insistent by the minute.

_As for the story of the apple game, it will have to wait for another night. I leave for a weekend with Edward and Bella in the morning and before I go, I _will_ get this letter off to you in the morning mail. _

_Jasper before I go, I want you to know something. If you're ever scared and can't find peace, remember that you're not alone. On my Sunday walks along the shoreline, the wind blows the spray around me. The sun dances like glinting jewels across the waves. The sand grounds me. The familiar scent of life and the peaceful rhythm of the waves surrounds me. You'll find me here—waiting for you. When I look out my window each evening, I take comfort in knowing that we're staring at the same stars of night. I smile when I find Perseus still standing guard in the evening sky. Like many nights, I know that tonight when I slip beneath my bedclothes I'll dream of a brave and gallant warrior who also happens to hold my future in the palm of his hand. _

_ Pleasant dreams, Jasper. May God keep you safe for me._

_ Alice_

_Oh, one last note before I go. Given the story of your slippery Christmas meal, I certainly hope for your sake that the cooks haven't dredged the Loch Ness for your evening meal._

Alice chuckled at her final remark and pushed herself away from her desk. Before reaching to shut off the light, she picked up the folded the tiny hankie embroidered with her initials and cradled it to her cheek once before placing it in the envelope with her letter.

"I wish I were going with you," she whispered to the envelope clutched between her fingers. "But when you find him, keep him safe for me."

* * *

_A/N: So Alice is finally putting herself out there for Jasper. _**_Preview from next week.._**

Jasper stared around the room trying to keep his mind on the tempo and anything but the sweet smelling beauty in his arms. He searched desperately for Alec but only saw the back of his brown head as he waited in the crowded line for his turn at the bar. He felt Kate's body begin to relax and suddenly he was moved to stare into her deep brown eyes. Within them, Jasper saw a familiar look of longing. She was just a gal looking to share a few moments of relative peace. Jasper's expression softened as he smiled back at her...

_Well, just remember that Jasper is young and inexperienced. I'll put another teaser in this week's review responses.  
_

_Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think._

_-FB_

p.s. The pictease for this chapter was really perfect. It's of Alice's grandparent's embrace. The link is on my profile

* * *

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 7

**Story reference:** Alice falls asleep reading the poems of Metamorphoses lost in the story of Andromeda & Perseus

**Historical Significance: **A Latin narrative poem in fifteen books by the Roman poet Ovid describing the history of the world from its creation to the deification of Julius Caesar

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Metamorphoses_%28poem%29

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice works with Leah on the dress and currency of native Americans in MD.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)native-languages(dot)org/maryland(dot)htm

http:/www(dot)bigorrin(dot)org/powhatan_kids(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Alice recalls for Jasper her fondest memory of her grandparents dancing to Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Historical Significance: **Dream a Little Dream of Me was recorded by Ozzie Nelson and his orchestra in February of 1931

**Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=ry3G_JpxDco&feature=related


	8. Chapter 8 Feb 14, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

_The pictease for this chapter is what Jasper see's when Kate tells him to close his eyes... The link is on my profile_

* * *

**February 14, 1945**

"You're coming, right?"

Jasper shrugged noncommittally.

"Come on, you guys. Girls, music, dancing, some laughs and drinks, why wouldn't you come?"

Jasper looked up from his meal at Alec for help. His shoulders lifted infinitesimally, but Alec already knew what he was asking. _Are you going to go?_ Alec wasn't interested in dancing, but some light hearted music wouldn't do him any harm either.

"Maybe he just thinks the scenery at home is prettier," Alec tossed out.

"Yeah, maybe it's prettier, but it's also out of reach at the moment. Well, the rest of us are going, so suit yourselves."

Jasper's shoulders slumped as their buddy finally left them in peace. Alec wasn't sure if it was out of relief or melancholy. He knew he was expecting a letter from his sweetheart any day now although Alec had yet to learn anything more than the girl's name. He only was able to glean that by reading the return address on the letter he had found on Jasper's bunk last month.

"Jasper, you're single and away at war. Why don't you go tonight? You don't need me there."

"Yeah, I kind of do," Jasper mumbled.

"Why do you need me? Don't I carry your ass enough these days? Do I have to wipe it too?"

Jasper laughed at that.

"No, but I kind of told Alice that I'd use your wedding band as a shield to ward off the local debutantes."

Alec clutched his left hand into a tight fist. Jasper would have to pry his wedding band off of his cold dead hand. Jasper saw Alec's reaction and quickly shook his head.

"No, no, I'm not planning on borrowing your wedding ring. I just meant that the girls would be less likely to come around if they saw you were married and my hands were stuffed in my pockets.

"You're an idiot." Alec laughed. "First of all we're at war, and just because I wouldn't step out on my wife doesn't mean everyone out there feels the same. Second, _you're_ not married. You seem to bristle when I call the girl your sweetheart, so what is it? Are you taken or not?"

"I'm taken," Jasper replied. _I just hope she feels the same. _He thought to himself.

j~JJJ~j

Later that night, wearing his dress uniform, Jasper stepped into the makeshift club with Alec right on his heels. After three rounds of poker, all of which Alec had lost, he was repaying his debt by accompanying his friend. Alec really didn't mind coming. The music would be good, and he would at least have the entertainment of watching the dopes in their unit try to pick up girls. Not long after they settled at a central table, the band picked up with _Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy_. Alec's toes were tapping, and a huge grin appeared on his face as the first member of the idiot brigade was shut down not thirty feet in front of him. Jasper saw it too, and the two of them had a good laugh at Roberts' expense. Jasper shook his head and swirled the liquid in his glass, snickering at the ridiculous pick up line Roberts had tried out on the guys earlier this morning. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't see the approach of two lovely ladies who were now standing just at the edge of his chair. The one closest to him cleared her throat, startling Jasper and nearly knocking him out of his chair.

The girls both stifled a laugh before the first one composed herself.

"I'm sorry; we didn't mean to startle you. Are these seats taken?" she asked demurely. "There aren't any more open tables around and well…"

"Of course," Jasper answered.

Both men rose politely as they offered the ladies the two open seats at the table. Alec's left hand was wrapped tightly around his glass while Jasper discretely shoved his in his pockets.

"Have you been sitting here long?" the first girl asked, speaking up again.

"Nope, just got here ourselves," Alec answered.

"The band sounds good," she tried hopefully.

Alec smiled tightly and nodded back. He immediately knew the direction the girl was taking. He almost rolled his eyes at her. She was hardly subtle. The only thing more frustrating than her overt attempts at being asked to dance was that he was being tasked with carrying this conversation alone. Both Jasper and the girl's friend were obviously afflicted with the same "cat got your tongue" disease at the moment. Alec sighed in frustration, knowing that the only escape they could manage would be to leave the table and hope that some other unsuspecting pair would fall into the tall blonde's clutches.

"I'm Tanya, by the way," she said offering her hand to Alec. "And this is my girlfriend, Kate. We're stationed in the internal medicine ward. This is a rare night off for us, so we're happy to take advantage of it."

_Yeah, real subtle,_ Alec thought.

The truth was that the girls were just as lonely as the guys who were away from their families at war. They just happened to pick the wrong table to sit down at for the evening. Kate looked understandably abashed at Tanya's forwardness. She shook her head and stared off longingly at the dance floor. She wanted to be in the arms of a young, strong soldier who could sweep her off her feet. She was looking for a chance to forget the broken, mangled bodies that needed her tender care. She was the one looking to be cared for tonight.

"How about a drink, ladies?" Alec asked rising from his seat.

At this Jasper's eyes finally picked up from his drink. They were wide with fear. The last thing he wanted was to be left alone with the pair seated across from him. Alec tried everything he could to indicate to Jasper that they were to go fetch the drinks together. He lifted a shoulder in the direction of the bar. He smiled smugly and raised his eyebrows tilting his head the same way too. But all of his efforts were lost on poor Jasper who though Alec was mocking him and leaving him to fend for himself. Finally, Alec gave up his attempts at being subtle and asked the girls what they wanted to drink. He strode off purposefully figuring Jasper was big enough to take care of himself. He'd follow if he was smart and stay frozen in fear if he was stupid. If he didn't move soon, he would be thawed out of his muteness by the likes of Nurse Tanya.

Jasper swallowed hard and looked from one girl to the other. Tanya's eyes danced in anticipation while Kate did her best to look anywhere other than at Jasper's face. Before Tanya could utter a single word, Roberts approached the table and asked Tanya to dance. Surprisingly there were no pickup lines offered, just a simple request to follow him to the dance floor. Tanya practically sprang from her chair but turned over her shoulder to yell out, "Kate, ask him to dance! You'll never get anywhere just sitting on your duff." Tanya laughed. Kate squinted her eyes shut and prayed that the last ten seconds had been an episode caused by too much work and not enough sleep. However, when she opened them, she saw the young private looking at her with sympathy.

"I'm sorry, I'm being awfully rude. Would you like to dance?"

"No, not if you don't want to," she painfully replied.

Jasper sighed. He really did want to dance, just not with _this_ girl. The girl he wanted in his arms was an ocean away.

"I don't mind, it's just—I"

"You already have someone, don't you?"

"I'd like to think so."

Kate furrowed her brow in confusion. The young private was attractive and sweet. His smile warmed her to him immediately. Of course, why wouldn't he already be taken?

"Come on," Kate encouraged, extending her hand. "Perhaps we'll both feel a bit better after a trip around the dance floor."

Kate stood, and Jasper started to follow so as not to be rude. He would not stay seated while a lady stood. He planned on turning her down politely, but upon seeing his hesitation, Kate reached out and took his hand. She had the practiced experience of a woman who was used to handling bashful men. Kate had a feeling that some light stepping and a chance to loosen the weight of war would do them both some good. They made their way across the floor and took each other's hands just as the last few bars of _Chattanooga Choo Choo_ played out. They looked at each other and laughed awkwardly while they waited for the band leader to strike up the next tune. Unfortunately the next song wasn't another toe tapper; it was _It's Been a Long, Long Time_ by the Harry James Orchestra. The pair stared at one another for a moment before moving closer, embracing slightly, and began swaying in time with the tune.

In Jasper's embrace Kate felt the heat of a man who was strong and whole. She took a deep breath and relaxed further into his gentle but firm hold. He didn't smell of blood or disease and for this she was grateful.

Jasper stared around the room trying to keep his mind on the tempo and anything but the sweet smelling beauty in his arms. He searched desperately for Alec but only saw the back of his brown head as he waited in the crowded line for his turn at the bar. He felt Kate's body begin to relax, and suddenly he was moved to stare into her deep brown eyes. Within them, Jasper saw a familiar look of longing. She was just a gal looking to share a few moments of relative peace. Jasper's expression softened as he smiled back at her.

"How long have you been together?" Kate asked simply.

It was quite obvious to her that this boy had another lady on his mind.

Jasper's smile faltered a bit. "We've been writing to one another since November."

"Oh, I see. How long had you known each other before you left for the war?"

"I didn't…I didn't know her before the war. We just started writing at the suggestion of a mutual friend."

"Wow…" Kate sighed, shaking her head.

"Wow, what?"

"Wow, you're in love with a girl you've never even _met_? I don't know whether that's romantic or tragic."

Jasper pulled away from Kate, taken back by her words. "How would you know that? You don't know anything about me; we haven't spoken to each other for more than five minutes."

Kate laughed. Although it could have appeared as though she was making fun of the private, she didn't mean it that way. She put her hand over Jasper's heart.

"I've seen enough men in my ward to know the signs. Tell me her name."

"Alice," Jasper answered immediately. His smile widened significantly.

"Mmmhm," Kate replied. "Roger that."

Jasper and Kate spun softly as the words of the song filled the room.

_Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time._

"Jasper?" Kate asked softly. She tugged on his shoulder to pull him a little closer. She turned her head so that if they were just a little closer, she could press her cheek neatly against his chest.

"Yes?"

"Close your eyes and just…_pretend_."

Jasper paused for a moment then did as he was asked. He closed his eyes, listened to the soft melody and swayed. He had a warm, soft girl in his arms. He pulled her closer and rested his cheek against her hair. He wished...how he wished… His hold tightened, and for the moment he forgot that the girl he truly wanted was much too far away.

This was exactly what Kate had hoped for tonight. She melted into Jasper's hold and allowed herself to slip into the fantasy of being desired and protected by a strong, healthy man. The brass instruments called out in sweet symphony, telling her to make this more than a dream. She pulled her hand down from the private's shoulder to cover his heart. The movement, so simple and innocent, had the opposite effect of what the lonesome nurse had intended. Jasper froze. His eyes opened, and his dream fizzled like a puff of smoke when a cigarette is put out. He pulled back from his partner and stared at her with wide eyes. He was embarrassed that he'd allowed himself to use her that way. It was disrespectful to her and to the woman he suddenly realized he did love. He turned without a word and hurried to the door. Alec caught the tail end of the dance as he dumped the drinks off with Tanya, who was making short work of loosening Roberts' necktie. Alec made a short apology for his rudeness and excused himself to chase after his partner.

Outside the February air cleared Jasper's fuzzy head. What the hell was he thinking? His chest rose and fell with fast, heavy breaths against the chilling winds. The door to the hall clanged against the siding as Alec hopped down the steps two at a time. He searched the darkened street before spotting a slight figure with his back against the bare wall and his hands raking themselves against the back of his head. Alec sidled up to Jasper and allowed him a few moments to himself before he broke his consternation and sighed loudly.

"So now you know," Alec offered lightly.

"Know what, Alec? That I'm a louse."

"No. Now you know how you feel about her. You weren't sure before, but you know now. Am I right?"

Jasper groaned but nodded with his head still in his hands. Alec clapped him hard on the back, awakening him from his frustrations with himself.

"We'll, at least that's something. Come on, let's go get some shuteye. You're going to need your sleep so you can help me wash the stink off of Roberts in time for reveille tomorrow morning. The last thing I want is the master sergeant taking his disgust out on the rest of us."

Jasper grimaced at the thought but nodded and silently followed Alec back to their bunks.

j~JJJ~j

Two weeks later Jasper found himself sitting on his bunk, fingering Alice's letter. He read the most damning part of her letter for the third time.

_Were you mocking me with your tease about the local debutantes? I should hope not, but I do like the plan of using Alec's wedding band as a shield. After all, if I'm going to take my limited free time away from the generals to correspond with you, I should hope you'd consider yourself unavailable for them. _

Jasper groaned, and for Alec this was the absolute last straw. When they weren't actively training or on a drop, the remainder of Jasper's free time was spent moping. Alec figured a new letter from Alice would bring him out of his funk, but when the kid practically banged his head against the wall after reading it, Alec knew things had gone south fast. The problem with things going south for Jasper was that it meant that they would quickly follow the same path for Alec. It was in his own best interests and those of his wife and sons to snap Jasper out of whatever the fuck had crawled up his ass and died.

"Geez, Jasper, what the fuck is wrong with you? Snap the hell out of it before you get us both killed. I told you when I first got here that I expected you to pull your own weight, and right now you look like a two hundred pound sack of shit that I'll have to drag over my shoulder and haul up a mountain. Spit it out or I'm going to drown you in the goddamn latrine."

Jasper rolled over and placed his feet against the solid floor. He rubbed his face in his hands and stared at the floor. He couldn't even meet his partner's eyes.

"I'm no good for her, Alec. She's afraid of getting close to me; she's afraid that I'll hurt her with my naiveté and drop her to go after some other girl. That's exactly what I've done. Just when she was beginning to trust me, I let her down."

"You're making too much out of one dance. As far as I could see, it was pretty innocent by all accounts, not even a peck on the cheek. So what the hell are you going on about?"

Jasper handed Alec the letter and showed him Alice's words. Alec's brow furrowed as he read the words out loud.

"I don't know how else to describe it to you, other than to say that your endearing words, quick wit, and love of fairness, have allowed you to slip beneath my defenses. This is something I can promise no man has done before. The truth is that I look forward to seeing the land you call home and learning to ride under your tutelage. These little plans give me more to look forward to than just meeting you in person. I like the idea of looking toward tomorrow with thoughts of you in mind." Alec took a deep breath. "Sweet Jesus," he breathed.

"I know; what am I going to do?"

"Oh, so _now_ you want my advice?" Alec had more choice words to shove in Jasper's direction, like idiot and moron, but he thought better of it when he saw Jasper slump back down on the mattress.

Alec walked over and crouched down beside Jasper's bunk. He shoved him hard enough to gain his attention and pull him out from under the weight of his guilt.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

Jasper looked at Alec brow furrowed in confusion. He wanted Alice, of course. He wanted to go home. He wanted to try to explain himself. He wanted to ask her to understand and not give up on them.

"I mean what the hell do you _want_? You need to decide and fast because if you're just toying with this girl who obviously has feelings for you then _I'm_ going to personally kick your ass for her!"

Jasper shot up from the bed, knocking Alec over in the process. He stormed around the small space. "Alec, I swear, I'm not toying with her feelings. I want her. I want her so much that I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid that when she meets me all of the magic in our letters, the playful back and forth, the way each of us opens up a little more each time; I'm afraid that will disappear when she's presented with the real me and not the one in those letters."

"Who wrote those letters, Jasper? Was it you or was it someone who was trying to impress a girl?"

Jasper looked off, thinking through the last months of letters, his stories about growing up, his tales of home, and his desires for the future. He shook his head.

"They're me," he answered. For the first time he lifted his eyes for to meet Alec's. He wanted Alec to see the sincerity in his words.

Alec relaxed his stance and took a step forward, placing a hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Then tell her. Tell her what you want. Tell her how you realized it." Jasper stiffened beneath his grasp, but Alec cut him off before he could speak. "Yes, she'll be hurt, but she'll know how you feel about her. From there, it's all up to her."

Jasper's lungs filled with air. For the first time in weeks, he could begin to see a way through this mess. He nodded back at Alec. Jasper would take his advice and pray it would be enough. Alec expected him to immediately sit down with pen and paper, but instead he saw Jasper rummaging through his footlocker. Alec looked on with confusion as Jasper appeared from behind the lid cradling multiple cartons of cigarettes. Recognition dawned on Alec's face. Jasper didn't smoke. He must have kept his rations for just such an occasion.

"If I intend to make sure she knows exactly how I felt about her, I'd best send her something other than just my intentions."

"I don't know your sweetheart, but I doubt you'll get far with cigarettes," Alec mocked.

Jasper shook his head in frustration at Alec's ill-timed joke. "Are you going to help me or what?"

"I'm coming," Alec replied sarcastically. "I'm coming."

A few days later Jasper was sitting on his bunk carefully wrapping his treasure for Alice in a wide, yellow ribbon. He looked down somewhat saddened by his meager gift. It wasn't exactly the fine treasure he felt she deserved, but between his modest savings and the limitations of the war rations, it was the best he could do. He stared at the neatly wrapped parcel that lay in his hands. He stroked his thumbs over the bright satin while his vision shifted with his train of thought. Jasper hoped Alice wouldn't see the worldly worth of his gift, but the honest intentions behind it. He laid the gift aside and brought out a sheet of writing paper. With pen in hand, he told Alice, in no uncertain terms, exactly what he felt about her. He prayed that would be enough.

_ March 1, 1945_

_ My Dear Miss Alice, _

_ I love you._

_

* * *

_

_**A/N:** Sigh, Jasper finally figured it out, but should he feel guilty about it? Back in Easton Alice will be dealing with more than waiting for Jasper's next letter. _

_I'll include a preview of chapter 9 in my review replies._****

******Next update will be in two weeks**_. _

_Next week I'll be posting an outtake of** The Last Breath.** I'm participating in the Fandom Gives Back Fundraiser that supports Autism Speaks. You can put me on author alert or TLB on story alert to get the outtake. Half of the 10K chapter will be posted next Friday. Details on the fundraiser are on my profile page._

_Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think._

_-FB_

* * *

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: Chapter **7, February 14, 1945

**Story reference: **Jasper and Kate head to the dance floor expecting a light jive tune to keep their spirits up.

**Historical Significance: **Chattanooga Choo Choo is a big-band/swing song which was featured in the 1941 movie Sun Valley Serenade

**Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=kIQq1j1-AQU&feature=related

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**Story reference:**Jasper and Kate wind up in each other's arms dancing to a timely song for both of them.

**Historical Significance: **"It's Been A Long, Long Time" is a song that became a major hit at the end of World War II. The lyrics are written from the perspective of a person welcoming home his or her spouse or lover at the end of the war.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/It%27s_Been_a_Long,_Long_Time

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=6VPRC4_H0dg (Kitty Kallen vocals)

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**Story reference: **Jasper buys Alice a gift with the money he took in selling his cigarette rations.

**Historical Significance: **During WWII this style of bracelet became very popular with the military men as gifts for their wives and sweethearts.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)rubylane(dot)com/item/195589-2512/WW2-Ex78pansion-Carmen-Sweetheart-Bracelet


	9. Chapter 9 Mar 21, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

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**March 21, 1945**

"Oww!" An anguished cry resounded in Alice's ears.

She sprang from her desk and hurried around the various desks in her classroom and out into the hall. There her eyes met the tear filled face of Leah Clearwater. The poor girl was being half dragged down the hall by a couple of her classmates, clad in various feathers adorning headdresses and mock leather belts.

"What happened?" Alice nearly screeched as she took in the bloodied sight of the girl.

"We were playing when she tripped over Evan's tomahawk and skinned her knee. The lunch aides told us to take her to the nurse."

Alice raced to Leah's aid and crouched before the little girl. Her wool stocking lay in taters around her now bare knee. Stones and blood were imbedded in her tender skin.

"Can you bend it?" Alice asked.

Leah gingerly bent her knee and let out another wail as the pain lanced her.

"All right, let's take her down to the nurse."

Alice moved to take Leah's right arm from one of the young boys who'd been holding her up. Together the group of them made their way down the hall. The nurse, one of the school's volunteers, shook her head over Leah's predicament.

"What were you doing to get yourself into such a fine mess?" the woman asked.

"She was just playing when she fell," Alice replied for her.

"Unhuh…" the woman answered sarcastically. "That's why she was being carried in by those ruffians acting like a bunch of wild Indians."

Alice sucked in her lips and pressed them between her teeth in a useless effort to stifle her laugh at the nurse's ridiculous remark. From the corner of her eye Leah caught Alice, and upon seeing her favorite grown up choking down a laugh, Leah spilled out her own. Alice promptly gave up the ghost and joined Leah in a bout of unladylike guffaws. The nurse's eyes widened in astonishment at their behavior and gruffly instructed Leah to peel off her stockings so she could tend to her knee. When Alice had finally calmed down, she sent a quick wink toward her co-conspirator. She was relieved that there was nothing wrong with the little girl other than a bloody scrape. She took the torn stockings back to her classroom to find her needle and thread. In a few short minutes she'd have them mended enough to be worn home.

Later that day Alice waved as Leah limped toward her father's car. The driver opened the door for her, and she slid inside. Her schoolbooks landed hard on the floor beside her father's briefcase. Leah's father looked up from his paper to see his daughter's pretty face marred in discomfort. He relaxed slightly as she smiled and kissed his cheek. Leah waved back at Alice, and the door abruptly closed on the pair, taking them home for another end to a typical workweek.

a**AAA**a

"Alice? Alice!"

"Upstairs," Alice replied as she turned to pick up her smallest ribbon tool. She edged the gentle loop of metal up over a sloping curve to clear the last piece of uneven clay. With a critical eye, Alice examined the nearly smooth surface before turning and soaking her fingers in the muddied water beside her bench. Her wet fingers danced along the piece, tracing the delicate curves and smoothing the edge of the new section to her satisfaction.

Seconds later, Bella appeared at the entrance to the room, slightly muddled and wondering where she had misplaced Serena's favorite toy.

"Have you seen—oh, I'm sorry, Alice, I didn't realize that you were in the middle of creating."

"Creating?" Alice laughed. "I'm playing, you know that, but still, it's fun."

Bella stepped further into Alice's makeshift studio and studied the familiar tools surrounding Alice's work bench. Alice herself was covered in an apron, sitting neatly on a stool, and hunched over her latest effort.

"Yes, creating. I've always admired your talent. I couldn't carve a pumpkin, much less a piece of art."

Alice laughed at her friend's self deprecating remark.

"I thought your cat turned out quite nicely."

Bella turned and jabbed Alice in the ribs, causing her to squeal at the poke.

"You know it wasn't a cat, Alice. It was supposed to be a princess!"

This made Alice laugh even harder. "Oh, yeah, right, a princess… How could I have forgotten?"

"Oh, shut up, you. You knew it was supposed to be a princess."

Bella left Alice for the moment to glance around the room. It had been far too long since she'd seen Alice enjoying one of her favorite pastimes. She slowly traced the edge of a ledge at the far end of the room where her new pieces were in various stages of completion. She paused, staring in awe at the delicate creation resting just inches from her fingertips. Bella was almost hesitant to touch it.

"Alice, this is stunning!"

Alice looked up from her effort to coax the strong lines of a male hand from the material before her. She looked over to see what piece Bella was referring to when a broad smile of pride stretched across her face. Bella had paused on Alice's newest piece; it was the one her long distance beau had inspired. _Beau? _Alice chastised herself for calling him that. But what else could she call him? He was more than an acquaintance; their last letters had demonstrated that quite convincingly. But how could she describe him? A friend? A boyfriend? Neither description seemed up to task.

"Alice?" Bella began, noting not only the smile on Alice's face but the dreamy eyed look that had taken her at that moment. "Where did you go?"

Alice blushed a bit at being caught inside her own head. She deflected Bella's question by moving behind her to touch the extended fingertip on the piece.

"It's called _Touch_."

Bella followed Alice's actions and reached a tentative hand out to trace the smooth fingertip curled so delicately. The feminine hand curled gracefully; each finger arched in a graceful line to indicate the artistry of a dancer.

"It's beautiful," Bella added.

"Thank you."

"How are you going to finish it?"

Alice sighed. Her head tilted to the side as she studied the piece further. In her mind it was finished. No paint or glaze could make it any more perfect than it was in its current form. White clay dried to a smooth naked form. It was bare and open and longing for a touch in return.

Alice leaned into her friend and nudged her with her shoulder. "I'm going to leave it as it is, maybe mount it on a stained piece of mahogany. The contrast between the white and the dark wood should accentuate the feminine curves against the masculine hardwood."

"Hardwood indeed." Bella smirked.

"Bella, you're so crass."

"What? I made a simple remark. You're the one that led it down a burlesque path."

"We are of one mind, my friend. Whatever path I'm on, you pushed me in that direction."

Bella laughed, acknowledging the truth of Alice's statement. "I think you should put it on your writing desk. Maybe it will inspire you as you write letters to far-flung friends and admirers."

Alice chose to ignore the innuendo in Bella's statements. "That would work if the piece was meant to be displayed that way. It should be mounted on the wall. But if you listen to my sister, she says I should make two so I can have something useful like bookends."

Alice's last statement caused Bella to cover her mouth to hide her snickers over Cindy's ingenuity.

"She certainly has an eye for art," Bella mocked.

Cindy, although a good natured soul, was very much a lady of the present day. She needed to be able to see and touch things for them to be real. The creativity within the family genes had all been given to Alice. Cindy saw things in the absolute, not the abstract. If it didn't have an immediate purpose or result in instant gratification, she didn't have much need for it. Alice had chosen to keep her correspondence with Jasper to herself for the time being. Neither her sister nor her mother would be overly supportive of her getting entangled with a man so much her junior and an ocean away. They would only serve to encourage Alice's insecurities. For now, Bella would be her confidant when it came to the matters of her heart. Alice watched Bella as her fingers left the piece, and she tilted her head to the side, presumably trying to envision what the piece would look like if mounted vertically. Alice watched as Bella's body slowly pitched at such an angle that another few degrees would likely send her friend crashing to the floor.

"What exactly are you trying to do, Bella?" Alice chastised as she grabbed her friend under the arm to prevent Bella from toppling.

Alice, like Edward, was always conscious of the frailty of Bella's leg muscles. She continued to heal from the injuries caused by the air raid, but she was nowhere near fully restored.

"You were always a bit unsteady on your feet but—"

Bella cut her off before she could complete her thought. "Yes, I need to be more careful. I'll be a little more unsteady than normal for the next seven months."

Bella turned her head to the side with a pregnant pause. Bella stared at Alice's lovely face as she processed Bella's words. Suddenly the realization dawned on her, and her beautiful brown eyes lit up in shock.

"You're expecting?"

Bella's smile widened. "Yes, Aunt Alice."

"Oh my God, sit down! What are you doing up on your feet?"

Bella swatted at her friend. "Alice, relax. I'm fine. You're just as bad as Edward."

"What am I so bad at?" Edward crooned from the doorway of Alice's studio.

He purposefully strode forward and lifted his wife from Alice's arms. He kissed her soft lips slowly and reverently.

"Are you feeling okay? Why don't you lay down for a bit?"

Alice stood back half stunned at Bella's news, half warmed by Edward's adoration of her best friend. She finally snapped out of her stare when Edward lifted Bella's hair to push it over her shoulder and place a gentle lover's kiss just beneath her ear. He could hold out no longer and swept his wife up off her feet, cradling her against his broad chest.

"Put me down, Edward! I'm not tired. I'm just fine."

Both Alice and Edward ignored Bella as Alice rushed to cover her unfinished piece with wet towels to keep it from drying out. When she was satisfied her work was sufficiently protected, she pointed Edward in the direction of their bedroom.

"I'll bring you up some tea."

Alice rushed downstairs, pausing to touch Serena's curly head as she slept in the spare cradle Alice had bought at a consignment shop a town away. She would certainly have some explaining to do if any of the ladies from the church coffee clutch found her purchasing baby items. Alice busied herself by placing the kettle on the stove and searching through her cabinets for Bella's favorite mug. Shortly afterward, Edward came alongside of her with a mix of emotions covering his face. Alice lifted her hand to his shoulder and brought him into her warm embrace.

"Congratulations, Edward. I'm so happy for you."

Edward buried his face in Alice's shoulder. A soft whimper escaped him as he released all of his fears into Alice's warm embrace.

"It's too soon, Alice. She needed more time before we tried again."

Alice held him tighter, acknowledging his fears as her own.

"She'll be fine, Edward. We'll watch out for her. I'll come up on weekends, and you're always welcome here. I'll drop whatever I have to help take care of Serena too."

Alice, as the older of the pair, was used to taking care of Bella. Bella may not have had a mother to look after her, but Alice took her duties as Bella's best friend very seriously. She wasn't there to fluff her train when she got married or help her in childbirth with Serena, but she'd do everything in her power to ensure this new life was brought into the world with a healthy mother to look after it.

"I'm scared, Alice. I can't—I can't lose her. I came so close once before. I can't live through that again."

Little by little the story of Bella's experience away at war filtered through to Alice. She shuddered at the growing understanding of how close she had come to losing her best friend. Even now, they weren't free from the threats that had surrounded them in London. In January, Bella told Alice that they were using the alias, Cullen, to keep Serena safe.

"I know. I am too. We'll watch her like a hawk, but there's one thing I do know about Bella Swan Dwyer Masen Cullen," Alice said laughing a bit at her own joke. She pulled back, placing her hands on Edward's shoulders and raised her eyebrows at him but it served to prove a point. "She's stronger than any woman I've ever met. If there is anyone that can do this, it's her."

a**AAA**a

Alice was a little anxious as she sat at her desk the following week. She raised her hand and stroked the glass jar, her touch lingering over Jasper's compass. She now had multiple worries plaguing her mind. The first, of course, was Jasper being away at war, and the second, Bella's delicate condition, only added fuel to the fire. Alice closed her eyes and sent up a prayer for their safety. She looked down at her notes for tomorrow's lessons and sighed. They were moving away from astronomy and into the study of the atmosphere and clouds. She would miss learning new constellations to share with her class, but she also looked forward to the challenge of opening their minds to more things that were beyond their immediate grasp. Their imaginations were so ripe at this age, and she enjoyed the ability to help them see that life was more than the things you could hold in your hand.

Alice's musings were interrupted by the sound of a lady's shoes clipping at a furious pace down the hall outside of her classroom. The sound was echoed by the soft whimpers of a young child. Alice placed her hands upon her desk and was attempting to stand and find out what was causing the raucous when a lovely middle aged woman appeared at her door. She was dressed in a finely tailored black suit with a turquoise satin trim. The coat's gold buttons matched the earrings in her ears. Her shiny leather heels were set off by _real_ silk stockings. Over her right arm was a black fur coat, and her left hand was clasped firmly about her child's wrist. The woman wore a wide brimmed, black hat trimmed with black netting and striking turquoise plumes that matched the trim of her suit. After taking in the opulence of her attire, Alice next noticed the utter scowl on the woman's face. Leah Clearwater peaked out from behind her mother's form, nearly shaking with fear as she glanced back and forth anxiously between her mother and her favorite grownup friend.

"Mrs. Clearwater," Alice began because she could presume no other title for the elegantly dressed woman before her. It was quite obvious that she was the wife of the honored and respected judge.

"I've come to have a few words with you, Miss Brandon," Susan Clearwater replied in a curt and commanding tone. "I understand you were the instigator of my daughter's recent schoolyard accident."

Alice shook her head, confused as to why Mrs. Clearwater would be so pointedly upset. Susan let go of Leah's wrist, reached into the pocket of her coat and brought forth the wool stockings that Leah had worn last Friday. The repair that Alice had made was evident in the stitched line across the left knee.

"Yes," Alice replied, still somewhat confused by the confrontation. "I stitched the stockings so that Leah could wear them home."

"Wool stockings, Miss Brandon. Very expensive wool stockings."

Alice was befuddled by the woman's venom. Schoolyard accidents happened all the time. They were a daily occurrence in childrearing. Surely this wasn't Leah's first tumble in the schoolyard.

"I can see you're upset, Mrs. Clearwater. We'll see what we can do about having the children play a little less roughly with one another."

"Yes, my thoughts exactly, Miss Brandon. But tell me, do you think she would have had this kind of accident if she was playing with the girls in her class instead of roughhousing with boys and acting like a wild heathen?"

Alice took a step back at the woman's scornful accusation. There weren't any rules at the school insisting that the boys play only with the boys and the girls only with other girls.

"The schoolyard play isn't directed by the teachers. We only make sure that the children play nicely with each other," Alice replied as calmly as possible.

"Really?" the woman spat back sardonically. "Really, Miss Brandon? You mean to tell me that my daughter _lied _to me when she told me that you were the teacher that taught her how to play the boys ruffian games? You weren't the one showing her how to lessen herself so she could fit in with them? Teaching her how to make costumes and scream and yell like a banshee? Learning language and customs to make herself into the farce of an Indian princess? This isn't why I sent her to this school, Miss Brandon. I sent her to get an education, to learn the basic things she'll need in life. A life of society, a life where she will be respected, admired and sought after by all of the eligible men in Baltimore. And you, with your half brained ideas have tried to undo years of my efforts priming her for that future!"

Alice truly was beside herself trying to comprehend the woman's fury. She hadn't done anything for Leah that she wouldn't have done for any other child at this school. She helped her learn something new. She helped her find a friend. Most importantly, she helped instill a sense of confidence and self worth in a young girl. She wouldn't apologize for any of this. On the contrary, she was rather proud of it. Still Alice also understood this woman's influence and decided not to provoke her unnecessarily.

"Mrs. Clearwater, I'm certain that Leah respects the things you've taught her about how to be young lady. I'm also equally as certain that the work we've done together will only serve to bolster her self-confidence in choosing to follow her dreams as she matures."

Mrs. Clearwater's face turned a shade of puce that frankly frightened Alice into wondering if she should invite the woman to sit down.

"You're _certain_?" she spat sarcastically. "You're _certain_ she'll follow her dreams, Miss Brandon? Her dreams are my concern, Miss Brandon, not yours. You're not even her teacher, so pardon me for asking, but what exactly are you trying to fill her head with?"

The woman halted her furious pacing across the room to turn and glare at Alice. Although Alice had opened her mouth to reply, the woman rounded on her taking two menacing steps in her direction and silencing Alice from communicating a response.

"The only dream Leah needs to concern herself with is finding the _right family_, the _right husband_ and having the _right life_ for herself. The thing _I'm_ certain of, _Miss_ Brandon is that _you_ have none of these things. I'm _certain_ I don't want my daughter to go through her life alone. I'm _certain_ she'll want more than _dreams_ to comfort her at night. I'm _certain_ she won't want the pity of those around her as her youth passes her by. That's not the sort of life I intend for my daughter, and I won't have you or anyone else trying to make her think otherwise. You will respect the fact that she is _my_ daughter, and I will see fit to her upbringing. You will stay away from Leah. I'll be speaking with Principal McKinley to make _certain_ of it. Good day, _Miss _Brandon."

She spun and dragged a wide eyed Leah out the door, her heels clicking all the way down the hall. Alice, frozen in shock over the entire exchange, began to thaw when she felt the first of her tears trickle down her cheek. Although most of the venom Susan Clearwater had spewed bounced right off of Alice's inner armor, her insecurities clung to the last of her hateful words like a magnet. No amount of steely self-confidence could hide the cracks that ran so deep within her heart. She couldn't refute the facts that the woman threw at her like knives stabbing her tender flesh. She was old. She was single, and most certainly, she was alone.

Alice gasped for air, needing to escape the walls of her classroom before they closed in and suffocated her. In that moment she couldn't think about the repercussions of Mrs. Clearwater's conversation with Mr. McKinley. She only knew that the freedom of the fresh, cold air outside would keep her from collapsing into a woman she swore she would never be, a coward. She refused to be shamed into a path dictated to her because she was the more delicate of the sexes. Alice brushed back her tears and grabbed her coat and lunch pail, ignoring her lesson about clouds as she ran through the heavy, metal doors.

Deep down Alice knew that Susan Clearwater, for all her wealth and prosperity, was no better than a close-minded small town girl. Alice knew better than to take her vicious words to heart, but as she drove home she couldn't help but feel that her deepest insecurities had just been laid out like stained laundry for the entire town to see. After all, if Susan Clearwater thought so poorly of her, how many others mirrored her thoughts? They may not rub her nose in it so disdainfully but for the first time in her young life, Alice wondered how many pitiful glances thrown in her direction had gone unnoticed.

By the time Alice reached her driveway, she could barely see through her tears. Years of pushing away what she believed was unimportant had come crashing down as each angry word replayed in her head. Alice no longer steeled herself on the fact that she had never found someone worthy of her attentions. On the contrary, she was hurting so badly right now because she _had_. Her heart lay wide open to Susan Clearwater's knives because she had allowed one man to seep beneath her shell, Jasper Allan Whitlock. She wanted him. She wanted his arms to comfort her, his heart to long for her and his name to someday take as her own. She fumbled with the keys to her front door as she tried to press them quickly into the simple lock. The action took painfully longer than normal, hampered by her tears and the tremors of her hands. Alice couldn't reach the safety of the other side of her door fast enough. The slammed wood echoed as she pushed her full weight against it. The back of her head thudded softly, and her chest heaved in agony. Suddenly, Alice's legs could no longer hold her upright. She collapsed to the floor and curled into a ball with her forehead pressed against her knees. Alice had held out for as long as she could, but there in the stillness of her dark foyer, she gave in and wept.

Much time had passed before Alice realized that she had covered the left sleeve of her coat rather soundly with wet tears and runny snot. She was working on a solid patch of the right when a knock on her screen door startled her from her self-pity. Alice groaned. The pounding in her head from exhaustion, crying, and lack of food caused her sharp pains as she tried to move from her position on the floor. The bangs came once more, followed by a man's deep voice.

"Miss Brandon?"

Alice immediately recognized the voice as belonging to Cy. Recovering herself, she stood and opened the door to find the wide eyes of her mailman staring at her appearance. Cy had good reason to be taken back. It hadn't slipped his notice that Miss Brandon's car was in the driveway but not a single light was shining from inside her house. The normally polished Miss Brandon was an utter disaster. Her face was red and blotchy with tears. Her upper lip shined with wet, possibly from her own nose, and she was still wearing her winter coat. All in all, Cy didn't know what to make of the young woman.

"Miss Brandon, are you alright?" Cy stepped forward to place a gentle hand on her forearm.

Alice tried to smile but the expression looked more like the pathetic condolence one would offer at a funeral.

"Oh, Miss Brandon, please don't cry" Cy looked down at the items in his free hand hoping they would bring the beautiful girl back to her senses.

Cy wasn't much for emotions. When his own wife gave into her occasional weepy ways, she visited her sister down the street. Neither he nor his young boys had much experience with girls and their sadness. Still, Cy felt the need to do something for her. He reached into his pocket and searched around for his handkerchief. His change and a set of keys rattled as he pulled the lightly soiled cloth from deep within the lining of his coat. He offered it to Miss Brandon, which only seemed to make her sob harder. She lifted it to her nose and gave it a good honking blow, satisfying Cy and making the poor gal turn even redder in embarrassment.

"Atta girl. That should help you feel a bit better," Cy acknowledged as he stuffed the damp cloth back into his pocket. "I've got something else here that might also do the trick," he added with a knowing grin.

Cy pulled his larger than normal bundle of mail forward and placed it into Alice's outstretched hands.

"I couldn't leave the package on the doorstep. I need you to sign for it," he added. "I was just hoping to catch you at the end of my run today."

Cy handed Alice a pen to sign the simple slip. After returning it to his pocket, he patted her lightly on the shoulder and turned to head back down her steps. He paused for a moment and turned back to see Miss Brandon thumbing through the mail. A melancholy look crossed her face as she realized that none of the letters were from the young private he saw her smile over last month. Cy cleared his throat just before Alice reached the package and called out.

"Happy Birthday, Miss Brandon."

Alice thanked Cy and smiled politely. Her eyes returned to the package, and just as she began to slide back within the doorway, she caught the familiar handwriting and return address on the package. Her eyes grew wide with glee, and for the first time Alice truly felt blessed on this day. Cy grinned as Alice waved him off, thankful for the little bit of happiness he'd been able to bring to her on a cool March day.

Alice finally threw off her coat and dropped the birthday cards and letters on the coffee table before rushing into the kitchen to find a pair of shears to open her parcel. Inside she found an item delicately wrapped in yellow satin and a thick envelope. Despite her incredible curiosity, the mysterious item would have to wait. After a horrible, tear filled afternoon, it was Jasper's words that Alice needed to soothe the ache within her heart. His arms were an ocean away, but she fervently prayed that his words would melt the ice she felt running through her veins. With trembling hands she carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the thick stack of paper. At the very top was a single sheet left all to itself. Alice recognized her handwriting and stationary immediately. She unfolded the letter smirking to herself as she re-read her own snarky words.

_ February 11, 1945_

_Dear Private Whitlock,_

_Too bad that you refuse further correspondence with me; I was just about to concede to your request and send you a photograph of myself. At least this way you would know with certainty of my advanced age._

_Pity really,_

_Miss Alice Brandon_

Alice sighed. The words regarding her advanced age felt no truer than they did today. She tried to shake off a bit of her glum thoughts by quickly turning the paper over to read Jasper's reply.

_March 1, 1945_

_Miss Alice,_

_Just have out with it already. Exactly how old are you? Unless you're older than my granny (which I highly doubt) I see no issue with your age, nor should you._

_End your dilemma and spit it out,_

_Your Jasper_

_Well, at least I'm not older than his granny, _she mused. She smiled at the jab Jasper had thrown in her direction. She knew he wanted her honesty and her trust, but the painful words from Susan Clearwater were fresh in her mind. Alice couldn't stand the thought of Jasper ending the only relationship that had ever mattered to her because of her age.

"I want to believe you Jasper," she whispered softly. "But I'm afraid."

Alice wanted to believe he would never hurt her, but the day had allowed doubts of his sincerity to creep in anyway. Alice gingerly lifted the pages to her chest and closed her eyes. She drew one last breath before opening her eyes to consume Jasper's words.

_March 1, 1945_

_ My Dear Miss Alice, _

_ I love you._

_It's so simple but so true. I love you, and I need you to know it today. Right now. In case you're standing, now may be a good time to sit down. I know this may seem sudden, but I can't pretend it isn't there, Alice. The words I'm about to write may hurt, but I hope that you will give me the opportunity to explain my actions. I need you to understand both the depth and sincerity of my intentions. _

_About two weeks ago I went to a USO dance with Alec. The hall was packed, but we were lucky enough to find a table not too far from the band. It was fun. Alec and I were having a good time as we watched our fellow soldiers make pathetic plays for the gals that night. We were enjoying more than a few laughs at their expense. After a little while, two nurses came over and asked if they could join us. Despite my intention to use Alec's wedding band as a shield, shortly after they joined us, I found myself on the dance floor with one of the nurses in my arms. _

_She asked me how long you and I had been together and how long we had known each other before the war. When I told her we had never met, she said she couldn't believe that I had fallen in love with a girl over her letters. I was stunned and asked her why she'd said that. She simply said that it was easy to see the signs. When she asked me your name, a huge smile covered my face as I answered her. She hummed, quietly acknowledging that I had just confirmed her suspicions. _

_Our conversation lulled as we swayed with the music. The dance floor was crowded. I could feel the heat radiating from the other couples around us. The atmosphere was light. Folks were enjoying the simple pleasure of doing something normal for a change. My gaze over my dance partner's shoulder fell upon Alec, who was waiting in the drink line. Then a gentle tug by my partner brought me to the reason we were both here. We both were at war, away from home and loved ones. I met her solemn gaze, and a moment later she asked me to close my eyes and pretend._

_God help me, Alice, but I did. I shut my eyes, and the world went dark. My body turned in rhythm to the melody as a lone singer carried the refrain. "It's been a long, long time." I pretended you were in my arms, that it was your warm body within my hold, and your heated breaths against my chest. Then the nurse's hand slipped over my heart, and suddenly my dream vanished. _

_I never should have used her like that. I never should have tarnished my intentions for you by pretending with another gal. I fled from the dance floor, all but knocking over half the dancers as I sprinted out of there. I then spent the next ten minutes berating myself and banging the back of my head against the dance hall's frozen wall. I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry, Alice. A very deep part of me wants to take those moments back and go back to the pure intentions I've had for you from the start. And yet, another part of me realizes that I wouldn't be telling you I love you if that dance hadn't happened. You see, Alec found me outside and pulled me out of my stupor before I managed to crack my head against the stones. He made me realize that the regret I was feeling over a simple dance was because Kate in her straightforward and honest statement was right. I am in love with you. _

_I don't know where you are right now or what you're doing, but in my mind I see you at your desk in your bedroom. I feel you slumping in pain at my actions, and I wish I could be there to comfort you. I want to hold your face in my hands and kiss away your sadness. I want to pull you into my arms and burn away the image of me dancing with someone other than you. I feel that I've betrayed your trust, but I beg that you'll listen to me now and know that my intentions are true. I swear I will make good on them if you'll allow me. _

_I can tell you all of these things in words, but they seem to be a hollow substitute for how I feel. I want to do more, but my arms can't quite cover the distance between us. Since I can't be there in person, I've enclosed a small show of the feelings deep within me. It is a gift to go along with my words. The broach is less than what you deserve. The metal is a gold wash instead of gold. The stones resembling primrose are colored glass and not true gems, but I hope that you'll find that they are as clear and heartfelt as my intentions for you. _

_I should be completely honest and say that the gift and the ribbon also have some of my self-serving intentions behind them. I know this isn't an honorable thought, but if you wear my broach and are asked about it, you'll have an opportunity to tell them about me. Hopefully you'll tell them the words that I'm longing to hear; that you got it from a man who loves you and for whom you're waiting to come home. The ribbon is also a selfish gift. It shows folks that pass by your home that you're waiting and hoping, just like I am. _

_You said you've looked to me as a gallant warrior who holds your future in the palm of his hand. My only reply is to tell you that this warrior will gladly guard your future as he offers you his heart in return._

_I just needed you to know how I feel._

_Yours always,_

_Jasper_

Alice slumped against the cool linoleum kitchen floor. So many emotions swirled around her all at once. The words she needed to hear were staring back up at her from Jasper's own hand. _I love you. It's so simple but so true. _A shaky hand covered Alice's mouth as new tears rolled down her cheeks. She shuddered and clutched the papers against her chest. She wanted more. She wanted his arms. She needed comfort, today of all days. She cried as the overwhelming shame of being alone washed away with Jasper's final words. He was offering her his heart. Although she wished she was hearing the words fall from his lips instead of reading them from a paper, she was grateful to have them pressed against her heart. They were real. She felt them soothe the pain of the day as if they were the antidote searing through her veins to heal the venomous bite of Susan Clearwater. Her head fell back against the stove and a shuddering sigh escaped along with the remnants of her tears.

"Your timing couldn't have been more perfect, Jasper."

Alice reached up and pulled the box off the counter and down to her lap. Her shoes slid against the shiny surface as she fought for the traction she needed to rise up to her knees. This simple box contained the gifts from Jasper's heart. No precious diamond could mean more to her than the yellow ribbon and the item carefully secured inside of it. Slowly, gently she unfurled the satin, taking care to draw out the moment. It was like savoring the last bite of dessert or the final words of a favorite book. It was not to be rushed.

As the final layers slipped away, Alice smiled at the beauty of Jasper's gift. There, resting gently in the palm of her hand, was a broach of two jeweled blue primroses. The gentle curve of the golden stems ended with the clear blue stones. They were bright and clear, just as Jasper had described. _It will look lovely at church on Sunday, _Alice thought as the smile spread across her face. It was a genuine smile of happiness. She wasn't looking to flaunt her gift as a way of contradicting today's angry words. No, she would take Jasper's honest gesture of love and give it the respect it deserved.

Alice willed herself to put aside her fears. She would ignore the questioning looks and rude suspicions. She wouldn't allow her mother's sad eyes or the polite glances from the ladies at church to detract from the beauty of Jasper's intentions. She resolved right there that she would wear his gift proudly.

Without even realizing it, Alice's back had straightened, and her chin jutted out with confidence. Jasper's love was her shield, protecting her from harm. This new confidence gave her the strength to whisper the words his ears could never hear.

"I love you too."

* * *

_A/N: _ Susan Clearwater comes across as a completely heartless witch and she's supposed to because when it comes to her daughter, nothing will stand in Susan's way. (Think Renee in _The Art Teacher_, which btw if you haven't read it, my gosh, start now) I hate characters that are made out to be too perfect or too evil, people's personalities are rarely so black and white. Just know that haven't heard the end of Susan in this story. It may just be a while before you get to see some of the ice melt around her heart.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-FB

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**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 9**  
**

**Story reference: **Jasper buys Alice a gift with the money he took in selling his cigarette rations.

**Historical Significance: **Vintage 1940's Coro Sterling Gold Wash Vermeil Brooch

**Source: **http:/www(dot)penelopespearls(dot)com/Vintage-1940s-Coro-Sterling-Gold-Wash-Vermeil-Brooch_p_349(dot)html


	10. Chapter 10 Mar 24, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

_Welcome new readers. I'd like to say a special thank you to shasta53 for recommending this story_**_.  
_**

**

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March 24, 1945**

"I love you too, Jasper," she said again.

Her smile widened. Her fingers moved around her as she searched for the stack of papers she had yet to read. She was anxious to hear more from the man she now knew was hers. Her fingers trembled in anticipation. Her heart beat more rapidly in her chest. This anticipation, this spark was what she'd been waiting for, and without a doubt, Jasper Allen Hale was worth every bit of the wait.

_March 1, 1945_

_My Dear Miss Alice,_

_Well, if you're reading this stack of pages, then I must not have run you off completely. And since you're giving me a chance to continue, I'll begin by thanking you. Thank you for listening to me and for caring enough to read my words._

_To answer the questions from your last letter, Alec and I share humor in simple things, most notably our common dislike of the food rations and the fact that I am an idiot. Yes, Alec knows me well enough by now to realize that my stupidity can cause hurt without it being my intention. He forgives me this horrendous failing and I hope you will as well. _

_So what can I tell you that will help you understand, Miss Alice? Yes, you will have to get used to being called Miss, at least for a little while longer. I am however shocked by your next words. Do you think so little of me to assume that when I mentioned getting to know you intimately I meant biblically? Good grief. One minute my heart is rapidly beating out of my chest over the fear that I've insulted you, and the next I'm rolling my eyes at how you mock me with your humor. I hope you have some significant 'tells' or else I'm going to be in a world of hurt when we finally lay eyes on each other. _

_I must be good at deception in addition to my other skills if you have been lulled into believing I have an intellect. Alec, of course, may claim otherwise. I apologize for any confusion the mix of my vulgarity, southern slang, and high talking may have caused you. It is true that I'm a multi-faceted man, but I welcome the opportunity to allow you to pick apart my brain. Maybe I'll even call you by something other than your surname afterwards._

_As I read your letter, I'm hit with both an amazing feeling of joy and one of deeper melancholy. I'm so happy to hear that you have found feelings for me, and I'm also ashamed that I've warmed myself to you only to hurt you with my actions. Alice, the only thing good I can say came of that night was the knowledge of how much I want you and only you. It's an ache that no other words or arms will ease, only yours. Please believe me when I tell you that I don't want to have any other woman. You can try to convince yourself it's your age that would put me off. I assure you it will not. Forgive my stupidity and do not berate yourself for allowing me to slip beneath your defenses. I am yours if you'll trust yourself enough to take me, faults and all. You may not see it, but believe me when I tell you that my hand is open and waiting for yours. _

_When it comes to my missions here in London, I can't lie and tell you that I am not often in danger. I also can't tell you more than this. Just know that I have a very good reason to ensure that I make it back to U.S. soil in one piece— peach pie. My mom makes one heck of a pie. No, Alice, I'm teasing you of course. You are the reason I will take the utmost care when performing my duties. Let me also tell you that Alec will be quite pleased when I inform him of your influence. He often reminds me that he has a wife and two sons who are anxiously awaiting their father's return. He's quick to repeat that I need to carry my own weight in our partnership so that he can return to the family he cherishes. Your concerns only serve as another reason to follow his simple but heady request. _

_In your letter you mentioned Bella's confidence in me as your and Serena's protector. Please tell her that I will do my best not to betray that faith in me ever again. When I read your words about Serena's christening, I was both happy and envious. You see through me so easily, Alice. Yes, I am jealous of any man who can stand beside you. I long to be the one standing at your side, breathing the same air you do, brushing my fingertips against the back of your hand, seeing you smile and hearing your laughter. These are all things that I can only imagine from afar. So, yes, quite simply I am jealous of Emmett McCarty, but I take some solace in the fact that you equate the man to the comfort you would find in the old church biddies. Yes, that makes it much more palatable. I can also promise that you won't get a crick in your neck looking up at me. I'll be on my knees before you. You'll only have to look down and smile on me to make my heart fly. And should my knees begin to ache, I'll simply stand and lift you to where you can see the surroundings at the height of normal human beings._

_I loved hearing the story of your grandparents, and I am grateful that you are your grandmother's daughter. I don't have much of a mind for playing bridge, and I can't tell you the value of a fine set of china vs. the tin we've always eaten off of at home. But I can say that your grandfather was a lucky man. If he saw in his wife a smile that made his heart happy after many years of marriage, then he was truly blessed in life and in love. I pray to have the same chance at that gift. Perhaps that kitchen wouldn't mind another couple spinning across its floor? You do dance, I hope. You know I love to ride, but what brings you enjoyment? Aside from your civic duties and writing me letters, what do you do with your free time? _

_I love getting to know more about you and the things that make you happy. I also want to know the things that make you feel sad. For any man to truly love a woman, he has to know her whole heart. So as in letters past, I'll share with you more of mine. You asked about my father and him tanning my hide. Yes, that happened, more often than I care to admit, but never without just cause. Sometimes a boy just needs a good smart on the rump to knock his brains up from his hind end and back to where they belong. I love my father with my whole heart. I respect him for his love for my mother, his fairness to his sons, and his dedication to the land. _

_The drought years hit along the panhandle when I was about seven. I remember how hard my dad worked to keep the farm. We had wheat fields, but they failed when the rains stopped coming. Dad, like many other farmers, increased the size of the cattle herd so we could sell the cream when the crops failed. When there was no more grain for feed, we moved from wheat to thistle. When the hearty thistle failed, he nearly broke his back digging up soap weed and chopping it by hand. Still, somehow because of his grit and perseverance, we managed to survive. This is why I gave those boys Ria. I knew what it was like to watch my father struggle for years to keep his family fed. We lived below what was considered the dust bowl, but the drought still traveled far enough south to affect us. To this day, my bitter regret is not saying I love you to him before I left. My mother often writes to me and tells me how he's doing. I tell them both I love them when I reply, but I want another chance to have him hear the words. It is a sadness that weighs heavily on my heart. Although I hope you have no regrets, I want to know what weighs heavily on your shoulders. I want to be the one to lighten your load and shoulder your worries. Your worries are mine, please share them with me._

_I'm relieved that your house is secure and that you live among friends. My concerns won't be fully put to bed until I have an opportunity to see it for myself. I'll try to remember that you are safe when my mind wanders in concern. It's your letters that ease my anxiety, but while waiting for the next one, I'll do my best to keep my mind on the tasks at hand. Hopefully there won't be any ammunition pointed in my direction to snap my attention away from my daydreams of you. _

_I'm holding your handkerchief among the most valued possessions I own. I've pinned it beneath my shirt so I'll always have it close to me. Your scent lingers on it. I hope it lasts long enough until I can breathe you in, wrapped tightly in my arms._

_I have to go now, but I will be anxiously waiting for your reply. I hope with all my heart that it will come, and soon._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Jasper_

_P.S. The apple game? _

a**AAA**a

Alice pressed her forehead into the palm of her hand as she stared at the notes on her school desk. She was working on her lesson for the morning and trying to provide descriptions of the cloud types in terms that third graders would easily understand.

_Cumulus clouds look like stiff mashed potatoes or puffs of smoke from your father's pipe. _

_Stratus clouds look like a baby blanket, neat rows of knits and pearls covering the sky._

She tapped her pencil lightly against the page as she thought of the best tangible description for the wispy feathers of a cirrus cloud.

"Miss Brandon?" a voice called.

Alice looked up to see Mrs. Emily Brown, the school secretary, standing in her doorway. The woman looked flushed from her trip down the hall to her classroom.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Mr. McKinley would like to see you…now. We have a visitor."

Alice nodded once, realizing that this was likely related to the visit Susan Clearwater had paid her last Friday. She stood and straightened her blouse before moving around her desk. She quietly followed Emily while taking deep breaths along the way. She kept reminding herself of her promise not to be a coward. She did nothing wrong. She was strong. She would not allow them to reprimand her for teaching a young child. She was right; she was confident. Despite her shaking form, she held her chin high. Jasper's love was her shield.

Alice turned the corner and followed Miss Emily into the principal's office. She steeled herself as Emily paused outside of Principal McKinley's door and waved her forward. Alice tried not to let her feelings show. Despite her confidence, she was not above the worry and disgrace she would feel if she were to be relieved of her teaching position. Alice knocked lightly on the door and waited. The deep voice of her principal beckoned her to enter. She was immediately hit by a wave of smoke from the room's occupants. Alice was more than a bit shocked to find not Susan Clearwater in Principal McKinley's presence, but the honorable Judge Harold Clearwater instead. A fresh wave of butterflies hit her stomach, and it was all she could do not to present both gentlemen with the remnants of her lunch.

"Miss Brandon," Principal McKinley called as his eyes found her. "Come in."

The man was neither cold nor welcoming. He could only be described as reserved in the judge's presence. Alice nodded stiffly before moving to join the men in the center of the room. She lifted her eyes and pulled back her shoulders before meeting the soft smile of Leah's silver haired father.

"Miss Brandon," he called out, extending his hand to her. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Alice's eyes grew wide at the fact that the man who should be heaving insults in her direction was instead welcoming her. Her brow furrowed in confusion for a mere instant before she recovered enough to take the gentleman's outstretched hand.

"Likewise, sir," she answered with more tremor to her voice than she would have liked.

"Miss Brandon, I've called you down to my office because Judge Clearwater here has asked to speak with you. I'm sure you know of his daughter, Leah."

"Yes, sir," Alice replied with a little more confidence this time.

"Yes, Miss Brandon. I wanted the opportunity to personally offer you my gratitude. My daughter, Leah, speaks very highly of you."

Alice felt as though her eyes were going to pop out of her head. She was no more surprised by the Judge's compliments than his wife's venom. _What the hell was wrong with this family? _Alice did her best to muster her composure before her disbelief gave her feelings away.

"Leah told me about the extra time you've been spending with her teaching her some history lessons," the judge continued. "She's never been more excited to come to school each day, and for this I am very grateful. You see, Leah is an only child and is quite…_sheltered_ by her mother. I often fear that Susan's coddling sets Leah apart from her classmates. This will not serve her well as she matures. I also know that Susan can be a bit—obstinate. She disagreed with my decision to send Leah to public school but after hearing of your efforts, I am quite pleased to have made that decision. There are few other things that I can want for Leah other than the confidence she's demonstrated in the last few weeks. For this, Miss Brandon, I am quite grateful to you."

Alice all but choked on her own tongue before she stuttered a quiet 'thank you' in response. The judge gently smiled at her before turning to Principal McKinley.

"You need more teachers like this one, George. She's a fine example of what the right teacher can do in shaping a young child's future."

Principal McKinley smiled broadly. It was the biggest reaction Alice had seen from the man in the two and a half years she'd been working at Easton elementary.

"Yes, Judge Clearwater. We pride ourselves on having the finest teaching staff at our children's disposal."

Judge Clearwater turned back to Alice and extended his hand once more.

"Thank you for seeing me," he said kindly with a glint in his eye. "I know Susan also appreciates your efforts with Leah. We had a long talk about it together on Friday evening. She also wants to offer her _appreciation."_

Alice nodded her head furiously as she accepted the judge's warm hand.

"Thank you, sir. Please also relay my thanks to Leah's mother."

"You're welcome." He smirked before leaning forward to whisper conspiratorially. "I've often thought that a judge and an Indian chief have a lot in common." He winked.

The judge smiled once more and then cocked his head to examine the broach on Alice's blouse more closely.

"This is lovely. Is it intended to imitate primrose?"

"Yes." Alice beamed.

"Aahh, young love, I cannot live without you."

"Pardon me?" Alice asked, pulling back in shock.

"Primrose. The intention behind the flower is young love. It is given when a man feels as though he cannot live without the woman he desires. It's quite a sentiment." The judge nodded gently before adding, "The giver of this broach has very strong intentions."

"He's away at war, but I hope he'll be home soon," Alice shyly replied.

The judge gently laid his hand over top of Alice's. "I hope that for you too."

a**AAA**a

Alice had a renewed sense of confidence by the time she returned to her home for the evening. Twilight was circling her small town as she pulled into her drive. Her fingers curled around the letters in her mailbox and she couldn't help but allow her mind to drift to her response to Jasper's letters. She didn't want him waiting too long for her reply. Her thoughts wavered between being cross with him and throwing herself (proverbially, of course) into his outstretched arms. Once inside the warmth of her home, Alice threw the mail on the telephone table by the hall closet and turned to hang up her coat. Food was the first order of business. She'd be able to think better on a full stomach. As the water boiled for pasta and the chicken sautéed in lemon butter sauce, her mind raced to catch up with her feelings.

_Should I tell him I love him straight away or wait until the end of the letter?_

Alice stared beyond the steam from the boiling pot of water and across the counter to where she'd laid her mail. Her eyes paused and then focused on the calendar where today's date, March 24th, seemed to jump off the page.

_Three weeks. It's been three weeks since he sent me his letter and probably another three before he receives my reply._

"Six weeks is too long to wait to hear an I love you in return."

The answer, now spoken out loud, echoed in her heart. She would tell Jasper of her feelings the same way he had delivered them to her, honestly and upfront.

An hour later, Alice sat at the desk in her bedroom and looked over the pages from Jasper's letters. Each one reminded her of a different side of the man who held her heart. She lightly traced the page with his playful banter and decided this one would be the easiest to answer first. A slow grin spread across her face as she scribbled another snarky reply at the tail end of Jasper's, then quickly folded the letter and stuffed it into a fresh envelope.

With the easy words out of the way she blew out a breath through her puckered bottom lip and fluttered the ebony waves that surrounded her cheek.

_You can do this, Alice, _she admonished herself. _Just open your heart and tell him how you feel._

_March 24, 1945_

_ My Dear Jasper,_

_ I love you, too._

_Your words were like air to me when I read them on Monday. It was my birthday and up until the moment I read those three beautiful words, it had been the worst birthday of my life. _

Alice wiped her fingers across her brow. She struggled with cracking herself open even wider for Jasper, but this was what she needed to do to show him the depth of her feelings in return.

_About a month ago, I began working with a girl at school named Leah Clearwater. She was having trouble finding her niche with her classmates, and my efforts with her were intended to help draw her out of her shell. She had an interest in playing cowboys and Indians with the schoolboys. Leah is a bit of a tomboy trapped in the wrapping of a very well-to-do little girl package and had trouble making real friends at school. I know a bit about what that's like. You see, Bella was the tomboy, and I was the one trapped inside the shell. I was never quite comfortable being in the neat and tidy package my mother presented. Cindy easily fit that role, but it was never a match for me. When Bella and her father came to town, she didn't fit the same mold as all of the other girls around town. She wasn't interested in "girly" things and although my mother discreetly thought of her as unrefined, I thought she was a breath of fresh air, unmarred by the rules of polite society where girls had defined and predestined roles. Bella and I became fast friends because she shoved me out of my suffocating shell. She didn't like the role I played to appease my parents, but she accepted it anyway. She would climb trees and inspect fox holes while I taught her that not all "girly" things were bad. She didn't have a mother to show her how to do these things, but as a best friend I filled in where I could. The point to all of this is that I saw both myself and Bella in Leah and was drawn to help her out of that shell that made her smaller than she was destined to be._

_Over the course of a few days, we learned about Indians indigenous to the area, their culture, language, dress, and customs. We made paper costumes for her to share with the boys and even recruited little Brady to be a member of her tribe. (For once, something as simple as a paper tomahawk proved to hold more interest for him than the old turtle shell.) _

_Everything seemed to go according to plan until Leah fell in the schoolyard and skinned her knee last Friday. Her mother paid me a visit a few days later, although "visit" would be a very polite way of describing the encounter. Needless to say, Mrs. Clearwater was very, __very__ unhappy with me. In her eyes, I was undoing all of her work to prime her daughter for her future. To her mother, Leah is destined to marry and marry well. As such, my efforts to help her daughter fit in with the local ruffians was not welcomed in the least. In fact, she made it quite clear that I had no business encouraging Leah's mind, her spirit, or challenging her beyond her school lessons. I should not encourage her to reach for a brass ring; her mother already has her sights on a diamond one. _

_Mrs. Clearwater sunk in her claws with the last of her hateful words. She reminded me that I was living alone, watching my youth pass me by. Her daughter would not end up like me, with nothing but her dreams to comfort her. Jasper, I know these words will hurt you. It is not easy for me to repeat them to you. They lay me bare and expose for you all of my fears and insecurities. But as you've said, for you to really love me you need to know my whole heart. I'm sharing my burdens with you as I ask to share yours in return. _

_Before my letter sends you running for the first boat home, let me assure you that I'm fine. Okay, not fine, but like the dance was for you, the experience with Mrs. Clearwater brought about my own discovery. When I came home that night, I spent a long time on the floor of my foyer sobbing and drowning in self pity. It was not one of my finer moments. I knew that if the same hateful words had been tossed in my direction six months ago I would have been hurt, but they would not have sliced me wide open. They hurt so much because truth is, I am alone. Wait, please allow me to finish. To those around me, I am alone. No one other than Bella and Edward know about our correspondence. I've always harbored some anxiety over you being an image but not a reality. I didn't want to get folks riled up if you were really just a dream... As you know, dreams that don't materialize can be more painful than holding onto something real and having it taken away. This is exactly why Mrs. Clearwater's words cut me deeply. Until your letters, no one other than Bella had ever gotten this close to me. I am vulnerable because I have found someone I want to know and love more deeply than I ever have before. Although her words cut me, in turn your words heal me. Your love is my shield and no matter what she or anyone else thinks, I know the truth. I'm not alone so long as you're out there, wanting me._

With her free hand, Alice wiped away stray tears as her pen scratched against the stationary. She looked down just as a missed tear fell on the fine linen paper bleeding out and creating a well against the flat surface of the page. She too was changed, no longer flat, but made deeper and marked by Jasper's love. Alice shook her head. She needed to change the subject before she turned them both into a mess of longing and need. She sniffed back her tears and a wry smile crossed her face as she pressed her pen forward.

_This brings me to my next topic, your gifts. Jasper, I don't know where to start. The polite thing to say would be thank you, and I do thank you. They're lovely, and so very thoughtful. It fills me with so much happiness and pride when I wear the brooch. At the same time, I do have a bone to pick with you. I'm outraged that you would think that your gifts are unworthy of me. I've worried about this more than a few times over the last few days, wondering what I could have written in my letters to make you think that your gifts weren't good enough for me. It's shameful to have you think that I would toss aside a gift from you…from YOU because it wasn't precious in worldly terms. Jasper, everything from you is precious, especially when it comes from your heart. Remember what I've told you, I am my grandmother's child. And in case you were wondering, I cannot live without you either._

_Part of me wants to sweep your dance with Nurse Kate under the rug and not discuss it. Deep down I know that wouldn't be fair to either of us. So I guess I'll start by saying my immediate reaction to your fear of running me off is to scoff, act haughtily, and say that you don't know me very well if you think I can be run off from anyone. But that's the side of me that I show everyone else in this world. You know me well enough to realize that your words would hurt and ache, but the truth is they also heal and mend. They do it all, which is why, despite my fears, I can't turn away from you. I don't want to go back to the muted life I had before finding you. I do hurt; I do ache. I feel it all, but I wouldn't trade it because of those three beautiful words you wrote. I understand what happened and why. To be honest, I hate the idea of you holding someone else, and although I don't need an apology, I accept yours nonetheless. By the way, self-loathing is unbecoming of a United States soldier. Hint, hint. _

_So, I suppose I should finally relay the story of the apple game. I'm afraid it will disappoint you. There isn't that much to tell. It's an embarrassing girl's game really. You know how a fresh picked apple often has the stem still attached? Well, girls, even brazen and wild girls like Bella and me, often play this game to learn the identity of the man they'll someday marry. The game goes like this: you hold the apple by its stem and recite the alphabet while spinning the apple. When the apple finally drops, whichever letter was last said is the first letter of the name of the man you'll marry. Bella's letters varied widely, never landing on the same letter twice, whereas mine always dropped on the same letter nearly every time. J. Now before you either faint from shock or become ridiculously smug at the precognition of a little girl's game, just remember that there were and still are many eligible J's in Easton, Maryland. There's seven year old Jacob in the room across the hall. There's Mr. Jenkins who runs the local hardware store. (Although pairing up with him might raise a few eyebrows, given he's nearly thirty five years my senior.) Then there's Jared who after one date last year left me running for the hills. (Sorry, I just can't stomach the idea of becoming an undertaker's wife.) So, I guess you'll have to do. Assuming the offer's still open, I gladly accept your heart and reach out my hand to take yours in return._

_Which brings me to my next topic, it's a form of blackmail actually. It seems as though through your polite but persistent nagging that you would like me to supply you with a photograph of myself. I feel as though I should use this desire to my advantage. So if you'd like to receive my photograph, then I must no longer be referred to as "Miss Alice." By now, your love for me should be enough familiarity for you to get over whatever honorable concerns you have over me. Please? My fragile ego can't take the distance much longer._

Alice smiled, hoping that her play on words would allow Jasper to know she wanted the distance both in the formality of his address and in that which covered an ocean to end soon. She grinned, knowing he was quick enough to pick up on her double meaning.

_And might I add, that must be one hell of a peach pie for it to be the reason to bring you back from the war in one piece. If the first thing you're looking for is a pie when our paths finally cross, no matter how much your knees ache on the ground before me, you'll have a long wait for my smile. _

_(Jasper, I'll fill you in on only one of my "tells." The rest you'll have to learn on your own.) A shy, demure smile like the one plastered across my face at the moment is hardly innocent, but I have half a mind to leave you on your knees anyway for your jokes about my height, or lack thereof. _

_You asked me about my regrets. Well, let me start by saying that your regret makes me cry for you. I don't want you to regret anything especially when it comes to your family. I want you to have the opportunity to tell your dad that you love him face to face, but I don't want you to wait until you come home. There's no reason to wait. Write to him and tell him how you feel. Then promise you'll say it again when you see him. Even though I've never seen your face, your written words touch me in ways I can't begin to explain, so I know it will mean so much to your dad to have him read it from your hand. As for me, I guess my regret is not following Bella into the OSS. It killed me to watch her walk away. She's so brave and so strong, and I regret not having the strength to follow her. She wanted to follow her father into the war, and come Hell or high water she was going to prove to him that she was every bit as capable as any one of his soldiers. She experienced life and love, and she grew up and matured right before my eyes. She left as a girl and came back as a confident and powerful woman. Sometimes I feel as though she grew up without me and left me behind. I know she loves me; I just wonder if she looks up to me as much as she once did. It seems as though the roles have reversed, and I look to her for advice more often than she seeks out mine. I wonder if I would have met you sooner if I'd followed Bella…that is definitely something to regret. _

_I think I'm more selfish than you are, Jasper. It's not your next letter I want; it's you, flesh and blood. I read your words of wrapping your arms tightly around me and breathing in my scent. I want to give that to you, but until your job in London is done, I'll give you my touch in another way. You asked me what I do more or less for fun. The answer is that I sculpt. To me, sculpting is like an extension of teaching. You take a fresh, pliable material, and with a few simple tools, water and patience you can transform it into something unique, beautiful and maybe even inspiring. Over the past few months, you have been my inspiration for some new pieces. I want you to read my descriptions and then follow my words with your actions. Now please sit down and take your right hand and place it against your thigh, spreading your fingers a comfortable distance from each other. Then slowly press down on your middle finger lifting the remaining fingers just barely above the surface of your skin. Now, slowly and gently drag that middle finger an inch toward your palm. This is the sculpture I've made, and it's called "Touch." Now I want you to imagine that your hand is mine, and I have it placed against your chest, right over your heart. _

Alice stood and placed her hand flat against the cool glass of her bedroom window. She repeated the action she described to Jasper until her fingers delicately curled leaving a trail of condensation on the glass in the wake of her movements. She imagined stroking the bare skin of Jasper's chest, feeling skin and muscle and bone. Her own heart pounded in anticipation, and she closed her eyes and imagined feeling his pulse through the heat of his body. She allowed her thoughts to wander and sucked in a deep breath imagining his hand following the piece she was working on currently. Seconds passed then minutes, as she dreamt of Jasper's touch. Finally, Alice shook her head, bringing herself back out of her dream and returning to her letter. She would make him feel what she felt and give him everything he couldn't feel with his body in her words.

_I dream of knowing you like this. Touching you like this until your pulse beats as quickly as mine. The second piece, the one I'm working on now is my mind's vision of how I see you responding. Take your hand and turn it over. Let it rest loosely against your thigh. Lift your hand slightly and then slowly drag the knuckle of your littlest finger against your thigh. The piece is called "Tender." It's your hand. Now close your eyes and imagine your hand brushing that knuckle in that same gentle action against my cheek. I'm looking up into your eyes and repeating the same simple words so you'll believe I'm telling you the truth with every fiber of my being._

_ I love you, too._

_ Stay safe, keep Alec safe for his wife and boys, and come home to me soon._

_ Forever yours,_

_ Alice_

_

* * *

__A/N:_ I went back and forth over re-writing this chapter. I thought a lot about Alice's reaction and hope it strikes the right chord. In the end she's truthful with Jasper about how he hurt her but doesn't go into a tirade either. I guess she feels the honesty he relays in his letters and gives him not only the benefit of the doubt but her own heart in return.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-FirstBlush

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**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Story reference: **Alice is shocked to find the meaning of the flower brooch that Jasper sent to her.

**Historical Significance: **The intention behind a primrose, found near Nickel Creek is: Young Love, I cannot live without you.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)iflorist(dot)com/t-meaning(dot)aspx

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**Story reference:**Alice is thinking of ways to describe the cloud types to her third graders

**Historical Significance: **I had to cheat here and look up the different cloud types because I couldn't remember all of them from third grade science class.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)enchantedlearning(dot)com/subjects/astronomy/planets/earth/clouds/


	11. Chapter 11 April 3, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

_Kejce, enjoy the history links._**_  
_**

* * *

**April 3, 1945**

"I think it's horseshit."

"Jasper, you don't get to decide."

"I just don't understand what they're thinking and obviously all of London agrees with me!" Jasper replied, slamming the rolled up _London Times_ against the table in front of him.

Jasper was exaggerating but not by much. The majority of Londoners appeared to be up in arms over the indication that Eisenhower was literally leaving Berlin to Stalin. Jasper was beside himself. He couldn't understand what would warrant Eisenhower allowing the Red Army to get to Berlin first.

"What's the matter, Jasper, don't you trust _Uncle Joe_?"

The sarcasm in Alec's voice indicated that he didn't agree with Eisenhower's the decision to take US troops north either. The action would effectively leave the victory over Berlin to be savored by the Russians. It certainly left a bad taste in Alec's mouth.

"No, I don't." There wasn't hint of waiver in Jasper's voice. He didn't trust Stalin no matter what alliances were formed to win the war.

"Where did you get this?" Roberts asked, interrupting Jasper and Alec. He pushed himself between the two partners to get a glance at the _Times_.

"On our drop yesterday, does it matter? The important thing here is that we're allowing Stalin to walk straight into a land grab. It's ridiculous…after all of this." He waved his arms around madly. "We're just handing it over to them."

"General Eisenhower's not a stupid man, Jasper. He obviously thinks that Berlin doesn't hold the same importance it did months ago. There are bigger fish to fry elsewhere in Germany, namely the stronghold in the north. Then there's Austria and Czechoslovakia in the south."

Jasper rubbed his palms over his face. There were only so many soldiers, and they couldn't be everywhere at once. He had to concede that Alec was right. He was still frustrated, and there didn't seem to be a good alternative. Despite the men's confidence in their leadership, all of them wanted to see a US flag waving from the top of the Reichstag. Although no one would admit it out loud, deep down they agreed with Churchill. Berlin was as much a psychological victory as it was a political one. The conflict lay in the fact that Eisenhower directed the troops based on the military importance, not on the political importance of being the first of the Allies to step foot inside Berlin.

"Whitlock!" the mail clerk shouted from the far end of the hall.

At the sound of his name being called, Jasper's heart rate picked up double time. The argument over Berlin was for the moment forgotten. Jasper stood and weaved among the tables of loud chatter to make his way toward the clerk. The whole time an electric buzz drowned out everything around him. Every day he tried to quell the hope that a letter from Alice would arrive. He knew that not enough time had passed since the letter professing his love made its way across the Atlantic, but that didn't stop him from wondering and worrying about it. He worried about the pain his letter would cause, that she would hate him, and that she would toss his gift aside. Mostly he worried that she would dismiss him. Professing his love for Alice was the bravest thing Jasper had ever done. And given the danger he'd already faced, that was saying a lot.

He paused in front of the clerk, unable to look him in the eye. Instead he reached out a shaky hand and took the letter. Disappointment flooded him as soon as he recognized his mother's handwriting. He internally kicked himself for being disappointed. _It wasn't time; she hasn't had enough time yet, _he rationalized. He turned to head back across the mess hall to his unit when he heard Alec's last name called. He waved Alec off, saving him a trip, and eventually handed the good sized stack of letters to his partner. The smile on Alec's face made Jasper truly happy for him. He tapped Alec on the shoulder and lifted his chin in the direction of their barracks. Alec nodded, half paying attention to Jasper and half staring in disbelief at the letter that had obviously been penned by his eldest boy. The scraggily writing gave Alec a huge shot in the arm. He puffed out his chest and walked a little taller, slinging his arm around Jasper's shoulder.

"I don't care who gets that rat bastard in Berlin first!" Alec grinned. "Like Patton said: 'We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over…is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home.' This," Alec said, fanning his son's letter in front of Jasper, "is what we're fighting for, not a fucking piece of Berlin."

Jasper halted in midstride. "Alec, you're forgetting _everything_," he argued, shrugging off Alec's arm. "I've heard the stories too. Patton also said that the quickest way home was through _Berlin_ and Tokyo. He vowed to 'personally shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler.' But _we're_ not going to Berlin, we're taking the long way around and letting Stalin get there first!" 1

"Jasper," Alec fumed. His young partner was testing the very limit of his patience. "Don't you begin to tell _me_ about taking the long way around. I've been all over this god forsaken continent and fucking Africa too. I've fought, killed, and when my leaders asked, I wiped the blood and guts of my buddies off my face to stand up and fight some more. Don't you dare tell me we're taking the long way around just to give Stalin the credit. We march, we fight, and we follow orders _without question_. That's what soldiers do."

Jasper stood frozen as he watched his friend storm off without him. Guilt coursed through his veins. He never imagined that his words would insult Alec. He just wanted to prove his point. The argument only demonstrated the marked difference between the two men. Although both knew the horrors of war, Alec could see the end approaching for him while Jasper looked at the unfinished business.

Alec stormed ahead, leaving Jasper in his dust. It wasn't that he didn't agree with the private, he did. He was just more pragmatic about what he could and couldn't influence. The most important thing to him was keeping himself in one piece. He swore to Jane he'd make it home, and he intended to keep that promise. He could almost taste how sweet her lips would be when they were finally reunited. He imagined how many inches each of his boys had grown since he'd left. He dreamed of tossing the ball with them in the backyard of their Bakersfield home.

Alec was right to dream of home. Given his age and the number of months he'd already served, he would likely be one of the first ones sent home once victory finally arrived. Despite his longing for home, he understood Jasper's passionate stance Hell, part of him even admired him for it. Jasper was the kind of guy to put doing the right thing above doing the safe thing. That was the kind of bravery that got men medals, most of them posthumously.

Jasper's shoulders sagged in defeat. He was doing it again. He spoke too quickly, allowing his words to hurt someone he cared about. He looked down at the letter in his hands, feeling the burn of his mother's handwriting against his frigid skin. _Go fix it, young man, _he could almost hear her saying. Suddenly Jasper had a longing for his mother's arms. He remembered her brushing his hair back from his forehead and kissing him goodbye. He couldn't face Alec, not yet. Instead he hulled up against the back steps of the mess hall and looked to his mother's letter for comfort.

_March 6__th__ 1945_

_ My Sweet Boy,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I'm sitting at the kitchen table not long after fixing lunch for your pa. I used the second to last jar of canned peaches for his pie today. The last one will be waiting for you. It's fairly sunny outside and warm. I think it topped sixty yesterday. The hens are out enjoying the fine weather too. Seeing them chase the cloud's moving shadows reminds me of when you brought me eggs from the coop when you were little. You may not remember, it but when you were about four, I began sending you out for eggs for your dad's morning omelet. You'd cradle as many eggs as possible in your arms and make your way back to the kitchen steps. I can still hear the chickens cackling after you as you made off with their hard work. Their "cheepers," as you'd call them, would peck you all the way through the yard until you reached the safety of my arms. Unfortunately, more than a few eggs met their demise on the return trip, but your sweet, proud smile was enough to make me forget about the mess I'd have to clean up later. I haven't seen that smile in some time, and I pray that I have reason to see it again soon. If nothing else, please let me know that you're warm and well fed. _

_Sam Jr., Emmie, and the boys ask about you all the time. I tell them you're doing okay and that you don't write as often as I'd like. But pay me no mind. I know you have a job to do. _

_I'm certain your brother will be writing to you soon. He got a gander at your last letter and well…I can only imagine what advice he's going to pass along to you._

Jasper groaned at his mother's less than subtle reminder that he wasn't writing often enough. What was worse was the idea of Sam sending him girl advice.

"Uckk."

Jasper wrinkled his nose and pulled up his shoulders in tension. It was as if he was wincing at a nearby skunk about to send out its spray. The feeling was somewhere between disgust and disbelief.

"Emmie all but fell out of the sky and into your lap, you lucky bastard. It's not like you had to woo her across an entire ocean!"

Jasper shook his head and rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure he'd follow any girl advice from Sam, but he resolved to ease his guilt by writing to his mother more often.

_I told your pa that I was going to write to you today and asked if there was anything he wanted me to tell you. He grinned and said to mention that the fence by the creek at the end of the south pasture came down again and that you'd know why._

Jasper laughed at that. He remembered arguing with his old man over the depth of the fence posts they set three summers ago. Neither man wanted to admit that the depth was too shallow, and the only way to fix it would be to either move sixty yards of fence line or dredge up the same amount of limestone to set them all properly. Apparently the compromise they settled on with extra gravel around each post hadn't lasted as long as they'd hoped. A pang of regret filled Jasper as he imagined his aging father re-digging the post holes without him.

_He won't say it out loud, but I know how much he misses you. I can see it when he sits quietly in your favorite spot up over the ridge or when he bows his head before each meal. He holds me tighter when he sleeps and shudders when he dreams. I know it's you he's dreaming about. He thinks I'm asleep when he wakes in a start. He often gets up after a bad dream, and I find him staring at your picture on the mantle until the wee hours stretch toward dawn. He loves you, Jasper. So, so much. I love you too, my sweet boy. _

_From the request in your last letter, I get the impression that someone else out there loves you too. Don't try to snow me, boy. A mama knows. Do you remember when you were five and I caught you sneaking sugar out of my coffee tin? Your finger was wet, and you had white crystals stuck to your lips. Yet you stood there and told me, "No, Mama, I didn't take any of your sugar." It was hard trying to keep a straight face while staring into your blue eyes as you adamantly shook your blond curls. Do you remember what I told you? I said that when you lie, your mama can see a bright green dot on the tip of your nose. So don't sass me by saying that the girl you're writing to is just a "friend of a friend." There's absolutely no reason for a photograph to travel from Nickel Creek, Texas to London, England and then back across the Atlantic to a girl in Maryland if there wasn't more to the story than her being a "friend." Your mama knows you better than that. So I expect you to come clean and wipe the green off your nose by the time you reply to this letter._

_Stay safe, my sweet boy. I love you more than I could ever express. Mind your manners, eat your peas, and for God's sake, duck when the enemy shoots. Come back home to me, my arms are waiting (and if she's a nice girl, bring her with you)._

_Love you always,_

_Mama_

Jasper let out a full blown laugh at his mother's frank assessment and quick wit. The GIs around him stopped midstride and stared at the ruckus he was making. It felt good to laugh like that. He needed the light hearted smile covering his face to get him up off his ass and over to his barracks to make things right with Alec. Jasper carefully folded his letter and stuffed it back in the envelope. A quiet whisper left his lips as he scuffled along the gravel path.

"I love you too, Ma."

The trip to the barracks didn't last as long as Jasper hoped. He was running through different ways to say he was sorry. By the time he reached the door, no flashes of brilliancy appeared in his mind. Jasper threw off his coat and settled on his bunk beside Alec's. He hung his head low and clasped his hands together.

"I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec was so engrossed in his letters that he didn't even notice Jasper sit down. One of the best things about Alec was his ability to let things go. Once he'd said his piece, it was over. He certainly didn't hold a grudge. Alec glanced up from his pages to take in the sight of his partner's apologetic expression.

"Aaww, save it, Jasper. I'm over it—"

The end of Alec's sentence was abruptly cut off by a loud bang on their door. Master Sergeant Gray appeared before both men, and Alec and Jasper both scrambled to their feet to stand at attention before their superior.

"You've got ten minutes to pack up and be back in my office," the sergeant ordered. He stood stoically, his eyes shifting to stare at each of the men before him. "We have a new drop."

j~JJJ~j

Jasper sniggered to himself as he stared at the prop camera laying in his hands.

"What now?" Alec asked as he gripped the Packard's steering wheel harder.

Jasper looked up and shrugged sheepishly. He was embarrassed that his little outburst had been caught.

"Spit it out, Jasper. I'm in no mood. I was just getting to the good part of Eric's letter when Grey showed up. He was up at the free throw line with six seconds on the clock and a tied ballgame with our cross town rivals, the Bakersfield Hornets."

"Sorry, Alec."

"For God's sake, quit telling me you're sorry and just tell me what's running through your thick head."

At this, Jasper got his back up. There wasn't really anything he'd done wrong in the last twenty-four hours to tick Alec off, but apparently he had a really short fuse today.

"What's running through my _thick_ head? Who the hell shot your dog? It's like all of a sudden anything anyone says just sets you off."

"I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't be taking it out on you." Alec rubbed a hand across his five o'clock shadow and grimaced apologetically. "I made a promise to one of my boys, and I didn't keep it. I'm just—I just feel bad for letting him down."

"What did you say?"

"A while back, before the war, I promised Danny that I'd be at every one of his basketball games if he made Jr. Varsity. He was so proud in his last letter. I didn't get through all of it, but I'm pretty sure by the tone that they're at least at the district finals."

"So, I guess he made the team?"

"Yeah." Alec nodded proudly. "He actually made it back in September, but back then I'd still hoped I'd be home in time to see at least some of his games. Now…," Alec paused and shook his head. "I just hate that I made a promise I couldn't keep."

"You didn't know, Alec. Quit beating yourself up. Did Danny say something about it?"

"That's just it. He hasn't said a word. I don't know if he's upset about it, or if by thirteen and after almost three years apart, he's more used to me not being around than actually missing me."

"Don't say that. He misses you. I'm a lot older than him, and I sure as hell still miss my old man."

"You're not that much older than him," Alec joked as he reached over to ruffle Jasper's hair.

"Quit it, asshole," Jasper joked as he mock punched Alec in the ribs.

"All right, all right, knock it off before I drive both of us off the road. Now what were you laughing about? Getting into trouble with your elementary teacher?"

Jasper shot Alec a look that plainly said, _shut it_.

"Sorry," Alec replied, lifting his fingers slightly off the wheel in surrender.

"For once it has nothing to do with Alice. I was just thinking about how ironic it is that our cover has us posing as American journalists. That's what set me off in the first place."

"Set you off?"

"You know yesterday, when we were arguing over the article in the _Times_."

"I wasn't arguing. I'm a good soldier. I shut up and do what I'm told. You on the other hand…"

"Alec, I'm trying to explain," Jasper fumed.

Alec rolled his wrist and tilted his head mockingly inviting Jasper to proceed.

"You remember that photograph of Seth and me that you found the first day you arrived?"

"Yeah, why?"

"The photographer was from _LIFE_." Alec stared at the road ahead of them but couldn't understand what that had to do with Stalin and Berlin. "This wasn't the guy's first international assignment, far from it. It seemed as if the guy spent half of his adult life covering stories abroad. After shooting around ETOUSA, he took photos of us guys eating in the mess hall and then just goofing around afterwards. Seth and I caught up with him when he took a break to catch a smoke. You know how some guys just need someone to talk to? Well this guy was just like that. You give him an opening, and he'll tell you his life story. He said his first assignment was hell too. In the early 30s, he'd been assigned to cover political and social events in Russia. It wasn't long after Stalin climbed into power and started making changes to the demands for agricultural production under the guise of collectivism or _kolhozy_. Anyone who didn't support Stalin's goals was arrested, exiled, or shot. There was no choice but to accept the ideals of collectivism. Unfortunately, when the grain production didn't meet Stalin's demands, the bastard seized what he could, causing widespread famine."

Alec wrinkled his brow, trying to jog his memory for anything he'd read indicating unbearable conditions at that time.

"I know what you're doing, and I don't remember hearing or reading about anything like that either. That's the thing. I was young at the time, but my pa read to us every night from the paper. He was religious about following what was going on in the world after surviving the first Great War. Yet this photographer said that no bit of news left Russia without Stalin's approval. He told us that the foreign journalists were either sheltered from the truth or coerced into shoving the worst of it under the rug. This guy secretly took photos of peasant farms when he could, but everything was checked before it went to print. He had to ruin a whole role of film to keep from being discovered by the Russian police. But the agricultural demands that caused the famine weren't the end of things for Stalin. Next on the agenda were his political rivals. Stalin purged the Russian government of anyone who challenged him. There were mock trials to make it look like justice, but according to what this guy saw firsthand, it was just a way to clean house of any opposition. They called it the "Great Terror." Stalin went on to purge over 30,000 soldiers from the Red Army for fear of an uprising against him. Thirty-thousand soldiers, Alec!"

"Jasper," Alec paused, scrunching up his face in confusion as he stared out at the road before them. "I don't know what to think. Why do you believe this guy?"

"He showed me the burns."

"What?"

"He rolled up his sleeve and showed me the burns. He said they found a few of his photographs. He would glue the real ones to the back of more _pleasant _ones in order to get them out of the country. Unfortunately he was caught and tortured before being deported. He was lucky he hadn't been killed. Alec, those burns—they were made with something like a branding iron and word was in Russian. I know what it would take to do that, and no man could possibly inflict it on himself."

A low whistle passed through Alec's lips.

"If this is true, then Stalin's a monster."

"And supposedly our ally," Jasper added in a grim tone. "So if you're asking me if I support Churchill and want to see _our_ flag flying over Berlin first, the answer is _hell yes_."

"Jasper, the Big Three already agreed to the division of the Axis lands at Yalta. Why would Stalin go back on his word? Even if he is out to gain more power and land, he's not going to go against the Americans or the British. After five years of war, who the hell would have the stomach to start another one?"

"Didn't they say that after the first Great War?" Jasper mused.

Both men were silent, trying to think through the implication of having a new unchecked world leader with a thirst for power. For the first time in his life, Alec wondered if his own boys would somehow be caught up in another war much like himself and his father before him.

"I don't know who coined him as _Uncle Joe_. I don't trust him, but I sure as hell hope that FDR and Eisenhower know what they're doing."

Alec blew out a loud gust of air. "Me too, Jasper. For the sake of my boys and their future, me too."

j~JJJ~j

Three days later, Jasper and Alec finally made their way back to the barracks. The exhaustion of being up for nearly thirty hours straight had them dragging themselves toward their bunks in a lifeless trance. Even though it was barely seven in the evening and neither man had had a suppertime meal, the first order of priority was not sustenance but sleep. Although small, the beds were soft, dry, and inviting. Neither man noticed their growling stomachs before collapsing, fully clothed, into their respective bunks.

After nearly twelve hours of shut eye, Jasper was the first man to crack open an eye. The bugler had yet to call the men for fall-in, but Jasper could feel it. His internal clock ticked down the seconds until the quiet solitude would be shattered by that godforsaken screeching horn. For the rest of his life, Jasper swore he'd hate the sound of a bugle, a trumpet or nearly any other brass instrument. Within weeks of his arrival at boot camp in Texas, he decided the flute or piano would be the only instruments his future children would ever be allowed to play.

_I wonder if Alice plays anything. I'll have to ask her._

With that though, Jasper bolted upright in his bunk. Dust motes danced on the thin rays of light allowed to sneak around the corners of the blackout shade. The dance entranced the young soldier until the goosebumps on his arms forced him from his daydream. Jasper pulled his socked feet back beneath the blanket and chafed his arms crossed over his chest in the hope that the friction would keep out the cold. His hands finally lifted to cover his eyes and rub out the sleep. The effort was futile, but he still attempted to ignore the roaring sound of his empty stomach.

Jasper was lightheaded and dizzy. He'd need to find some sustenance fast. His socked feet hit the cold wood floor sending a shiver up his spine. His head shook as he blew cold air out through his lips. A sound somewhere between "burr" and a frigid "blech" crossed his lips, causing Alec to groan and cover his head with his pillow.

"Shut up, Jasper. We're officially on leave for the next forty eight hours. Unless the Germans are outside this barrack's door, I expect to keep your goddamned trap shut."

"Who kisses a mouth like that in the morning?" Jasper joked. "A pleasant one, aren't you?"

Alec groaned even louder this time and Jasper felt a little bad about the noise he'd made. For as many months as he'd known Alec, he'd rarely seen him sleep soundly. Nightmares often kept him from a full night's rest. The guilty feeling growing in his chest was cut off by a fierce attack by Alec's pillow. He'd abruptly sat up and swung hard at Jasper's head, knocking him off the bunk and onto the floor.

"Oww!" Jasper cried out as his head clunked against the footlocker at the end of Alec's bunk. "You're going to pay for that, asshole," Jasper growled as he made a flying leap on top of Alec.

Pillows, blankets and mattresses went flying as the two went at each other like a couple of boys on the playground fighting over a lost marble. Neither man willing to give in. Jasper's agility matched well against Alec's speed. As the ruckus grew louder and louder, a small group from the unit gathered outside the barracks door to gawk and place bets on the outcome.

"_Yo_ there, Whitlock!" Roberts roared in a pretty good impersonation of Sergeant Gray's Boston accent.

The threat of their superior finding them in this type of mess halted both Jasper and Alec in mid swing. Jasper turned first, hoping that Alec wouldn't take the opportunity to sucker punch him. From the corner of his eye he saw Roberts pick something up off the floor and lean casually against the barracks door. He smugly grinned at Jasper as he waved the long end of an envelope back and forth across his face like a fan. Roberts sucked in a deep breath as if he was inhaling the aroma from the finest cognac.

"Smells like a girl to me," he joked before offering the letter over his shoulder for another guy in the unit to take a whiff. "I'm guessing it's not from his mama since it's a Maryland postmark, and in Texas they need help to write their names properly."

Jasper's eyes grew wide not only had this idiot insulted his mother and the entire state of Texas, he was holding a letter from _Alice_! Joking or not, Jasper was going to end him. Jasper's eyes darted to Alec for a split second. No words were passed, but Alec didn't need words to understand that Roberts was about to die. No man is allowed to insult a mother and live to talk about it.

_Hell no._

Before Roberts could allow the smug grin to fall from his face, he was slammed in unison by the pair. Both men struck with the speed of vipers, knocking Roberts through the doorway and out into the hall. Jasper sprang up and ripped the envelope from Roberts' hand while Alec held a coughing and stuttering Roberts to the floor by his throat.

"Do not. Fuck. With. My. Partner."

Alec released Roberts only to grab his shirt and slam him once more against the floor.

"_That_ was for fucking with my beauty sleep."

He stood from his crouch beside Roberts and watched as the men parted around him like the Red Sea. Alec followed a nearly comatose Jasper into the room and slammed the door behind him. Seconds later they heard a very perturbed Master Sergeant barreling down the hall. Alec and Jasper righted their mattresses and slipped beneath the covers disguising themselves in sleep like children caught snooping on Christmas morning.

Muffled insults were hurled at the men remaining in the hallway, insinuating that if they had enough time to fart around over hair and makeup like women then they'd also enjoy cleaning the outdoor latrines after a ten mile run in full gear!

Alec pursed his lips while Jasper buried his face in his pillow to control his laughter. The mattress shook, allowing a few squeaking sounds come from a room were the men were supposed to be asleep. Alec was about to pulverize Jasper for giving them away when they heard the distinct sound of the bugler's horn calling the unit to fall in. When the claps of the soldiers' boots faded into silence, Alec sat up with a wicked grin of pleasure smattered across his face. Jasper uncovered his head, and the two stared at each other for a half second before cracking up in a fit of laughter that had both men howling to the point of sore stomachs.

When the last of his laughing fit died down, Jasper fell back against his pillow in exhaustion. The collapse was followed by a rumpling sound which reminded Jasper that something both precious and potentially deadly lurked beneath his pillow. He eased his hand beneath the pillow and retrieved the envelope only to stare at it in near agony. His heart beat wildly beneath his chest as he examined everything about the item in his hand aside from its contents.

"It's a hell of a lot easier to figure out what's inside it once you open it, you idiot."

Alec's words startled Jasper, who was suddenly reminded that he wasn't alone. To Jasper, Alice's letter felt like a ticking alarm clock. He didn't know if his time was finally up. Alec sat up and stretched, realizing that the pretense of more sleep was useless. His partner was going to drive him bat crazy staring at that envelope all day. Alec squinted, taking careful notice of the size and thickness of the envelope. Before Jasper even had the balls to open it, Alec knew there wasn't anything to fear. No woman writes a _Dear John_ letter with as many pages stuffed into the envelope. He'd been there before when men received those types of letters. Short and to the point, they said things like _I'm sorry, I hope God sees you home soon and stay safe. _In other words, _I don't love you enough to wait for you._

Alec smirked at Jasper's pathetic state, but still had no desire to torture his partner (at least not at the moment).

"Come on, let's eat and then you can come back and stare at it some more."

"No, you go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Alec frowned. Even if Jasper did manage to summon enough guts to open the letter soon, which he highly doubted, there were enough pages in there to keep him occupied well past meal time.

"You sure? You know they don't hold breakfast for stragglers."

"I know. I'll be along."

_Lie, _thought Alec.

_Lie, _thought Jasper.

"Suit yourself." Alec shrugged.

He swung on his outer coat and trampled out of the building, leaving Jasper and his unopened envelope to enjoy each other's company.

_Just open it, _Jasper shouted at himself.

_ I wonder how many different ways a woman like Alice could come up with to say kiss off?_

_ Take a long walk off a short pier…_

_ I was pleased to have you come and never sorry to see you go… _

_The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them…_

_I shall find a man, and a better one than you, with wise eyes, but kindlier, and lips so soft, but true, and I daresay he will do._

An envisioned knife twisted in Jasper's gut at the thought of her moving on to someone else. If she was looking to torture him, describing her affection for another man would certainly do it.

_ She could probably write four pages on that topic alone._

Jasper warred with himself. The hunger in his stomach churned while the painful fear of losing Alice pounded inside his skull. Together they formed sea of agony wreaking havoc on his heart. He couldn't lose her. He just _couldn't_. Opening that letter would either cause his dream of calling her his own to go up in smoke or he'd fall over from the converse.

_I don't faint._

_ Just open it. Don't keep her waiting for your reply._

With that, his thoughts betrayed him, and he knew it. _He still hoped._ That little glimmer was pounding away inside his chest like the boom from a cannon. When he could stand it no longer, Jasper lifted the corner of the envelope and sucked in a deep breath. One way or another, this letter was going to change his life. The fresh, crisp pages crackled as Alice's message unfurled. Jasper closed one eye and squinted the other in a ridiculous attempt to lessen the blow of any hateful words. He looked like a little boy closing his eyes in fear of the dark. Jasper tried to comfort himself by easing into the letter slowly. As if the pain would be less if the dagger sunk into his chest one slow inch at a time.

The date appeared first, and upon seeing the ink, Jasper fully opened his eyes to Alice's words. Five weeks had passed since his letter left London to find her.

"My Dear Jasper," he read aloud.

Although deep down he knew that Alice wasn't a vengeful person, Jasper couldn't help but imagine the worst while attempting to squelch his hopes.

_That could mean anything. She could be playing with me, using her sarcasm like a cat plays with a mouse…just before she eats it._

His eyes betrayed his attempt to ignore the next words on the page and focus solely on the tone of her introduction. He wasn't finished working through all of the different ways she could imply disgust in her address when his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. His eyes went wide, his mouth fell slack. His breath quickened as he read and re-read her words at least five times to be sure his mind wasn't playing a trick on him. Yet there they were, emblazoned in blue ink, staring back at him, unfreezing his mind and shocking his heart.

"I love you, too."

His words were a whisper, just barely loud enough to reach his own ears. A sound somewhere between a gasp for breath and an insane laugh echoed over and over as he tried to put the pieces together. His addled mind wouldn't believe what his eyes saw and his lips read. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes in disbelief.

"My God, she loves me too."

A full blown smile stretched across his mouth like a ray of sunlight beaming over the ocean. It rippled over him and spread like the warmth of a fire until no part of him was left to burn. She had taken it all, consumed him, and still somehow left him standing.

_ She loves me, too._

Every emotion he'd ever known passed over his heart as he read Alice's letter. The feelings intensified until it seemed as though they were burning through his skin. _Happiness, pride, anger, self-loathing, worry, fear, hatred, joy, jealousy… bliss _ How could one woman bring out all of these feelings both tearing him apart and yet still leaving him whole? The emotions tumbled around inside him until he reached her last paragraph.

With the letter in his left hand Jasper followed Alice's command and placed his right against his thigh. His brow furrowed as he traced the line of his pressed trousers with his middle finger. He smiled at the idea of Alice creating this form in sculpture, but the smile was soon overpowered by the thrumming of his heart as he imagined her hand placed against his chest. He swallowed hard and continued Alice's directions, turning his hand over and brushing his smallest knuckle against his thigh. His breath quickened and his jaw tightened as he followed her train of thought. With all of his heart, Jasper vowed to touch her cheek just as tenderly with his own hand.

When packaged all together and squeezed inside of him, this jumble of emotions was finally overpowered by one basic human instinct…_lust._

He'd never felt anything stronger in his life. Alice's letter was swiftly stowed inside his pillowcase and before another moment could pass, Jasper was sprinting out of the barracks and down to the showers. For once he couldn't care less if the water was warm or cold. He thanked his lucky stars that the units were out on a run for this would allow him the privacy he so desperately needed. He stripped of his clothes and rushed under the shower head pulling the chain to start the spray. Cool water drenched his skin, dripping like rain over his collarbones and down his chest. Soap followed and the slick lather soon covered his toned stomach before dipping into the trail of hair that tingled against his tightening flesh. Goosebumps flowed over his skin as a shiver rippled through him. His chest heaved as he relived her words and felt her touch.

Her hand over his heart,

Her eyes drinking in his skin,

Her body touching, teasing, awakening his need.

Her lips would come next, brushing over his lightly, as she stepped closer, sharing the water between them. The tips of her fingers would trace over his nipples then ride over his shoulders until they reached the hair at the back of his neck. She would pull and he would comply, offering his mouth, his body, and his heart to her. She could take what she wanted for he was already hers. Her tight pink buds would float between his lips as he suckled and worshiped her, giving her back everything he'd received. One of her hands would leave his hair and trace the muscles of his back, gently gliding down his spine and over the taut cheek of his ass. The movement would startle him, and he'd unconsciously thrust forward pressing himself against her as while pulling her hips tightly against his front. A startled moan would fall from her lips just before his tongue would lift from her neck and invade her mouth. Gently, almost teasingly at first until she offered herself to him. He'd lift his hand to caress her cheek, wiping away her tears before threading his fingers in her hair. She was his; he was hers.

Jasper's heart pounded in his ears, the blood rushing through his body pulsed until a loud groan fell from his lips and his knees buckled against the crippling weight of his body. Every ounce of strength he had left moved to his hands. One clasped around the shower chain, the other hanging on to the final moments of his orgasm. He could give no more, breathe no more, feel no more until the weight of it was too much and his body sank until he knelt upon the shower floor. With his heart racing, his head fell between his legs to catch his breath. A beautiful smile graced Jasper as one word slipped past his lips.

_"Alice."_

j~JJJ~j

Alec pulled the collar of his jacket closer around his neck and hunched his shoulders against the wind. After eating breakfast and meandering around for a long while he hoped he'd given Jasper enough time in private. That boy needed to get his head out of his ass and back in the moment at hand. Alec shook his head. Deep down he knew it wasn't that simple. Still he hoped for all of their sakes that Alice's letter would bring welcomed news.

Alec, however, was no fool. He had a backup plan. If Alice's letter didn't cheer Jasper up, then perhaps his own news would. He stomped loudly down the hall hoping to announce his presence to Jasper before he reached the barracks door. With one last deep breath, Alec turned the handle and pushed. On the other side of the door he met two bright blue eyes and a bashful but brilliant grin. Alec shook his head and thanked his lucky stars for the intelligence and kind heart of the young Miss Alice Brandon.

"So, good news, huh?" Alec asked as he pulled off his overcoat.

Jasper ducked his head in response, but it didn't escape Alec's notice that his shy smile grew even wider. Alec studied his partner and sucked on his teeth. Jasper's hair was wet. _Ahh,_ the recognition hit Alec quickly. He wrinkled his nose a bit and sniffed the air around him.

_Well, at least it doesn't smell like spunk._

"Glad to have that privacy, huh?" Alec asked as he ruffled the back of Jasper's head.

He couldn't resist torturing the man. If possible Jasper grew even more embarrassed. His face grew red and he coughed and turned away from his partner's stare. To Alec, this amusement was almost worth the last five weeks of Jasper's moodiness.

"Jesus, man." Alec laughed again as he kicked the back of the chair Jasper was sitting in. "It's not like I caught you sniffing her panties or anything."

Whatever Alec had been planning to say next, it died in his throat. Jasper's whole body stiffened. He pounded his fists on the desk and stood. Alec immediately realized that he had gone too far.

"Hey, hey, I'm just kidding, Jasper," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "It's not like I actually caught you, did I?" Alec's brown eyes were twinkling with amusement. He wasn't going to back down from Jasper's murderous glare. He'd put up with too much shit from the private lately.

"You will never disrespect her by speaking like that to me again, partner or no."

"And you are going to have to sucker punch me if you want to get even. I will not fight you, Jasper."

Jasper put a hand to Alec's chest and threw a half swing that pulled up well short of Alec's chin. The action was swift and powerful. An undefended punch to the face by Jasper would likely break Alec's jaw. Yet Alec stood there, stock still and un-fazed by the swing. He trusted Jasper, no matter what circumstance was currently testing that trust.

Jasper pulled up from his stance and relaxed his fists. He would not hit a man that would not fight back. It was beneath his moral code to do such.

"What did she say?" Alec cautiously whispered.

All of the fury that was in Jasper only moments earlier burned away by Alec's simple question. It was amazing what the thought of this woman could do to him. Jasper closed his eyes and lightly shook his head.

"She says she loves me too."

Alec stepped forward and clapped Jasper on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you were man enough to tell her the truth. Sounds like she's brave enough to love you back anyway." Alec tightened his grasp on Jasper's shoulder, shaking him a bit until he looked up from the floor and met Alec's earnest stare. "I'm sorry…you know, for what I said. I was only trying to get a rise out of you, but it was stupid. I wouldn't disrespect her. Your love her, and that means something to me."

Jasper stared at Alec for what seemed to be a long time before he pursed his lips and nodded. "Apology accepted."

_Not forgotten, but accepted._

"Thanks. Hey…um, why don't you finish up that letter you were working on. It will need to go out in the mail before you take off tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jasper asked. "I thought we had two days of leave."

"We do, but you won't be here tomorrow." Alec grinned.

He reached inside his pocket, pulling out the leave card and tossing it on the desk.

"What's this?"

"It's a port pass and leave card for tomorrow. I filled out the request for you to go visit your friend in Stroud."

"Seth?" Jasper asked in disbelief. Alec only smiled and nodded. "Gray passed on word at breakfast from Colonel Swan that he'd been released from Heathfield last week and was headed to his family's home in Stroud."

"How did you get this through so fast? It took me weeks to get approval to see him last time."

Alec shrugged. "Guess Gray was in an incredibly good mood after the morning run. He must get his jollies watching the guys scrub the latrines." Alec wrinkled his nose and shivered in disgust.

"Alec, I don't know what to say—" Jasper felt like a heel. He'd nearly sucker punched his partner not five minutes ago, and now he realized that Alec cared a whole lot more for him than he'd ever let on.

"Save it. Finish your letter to her. Have a good visit and then come back with your head screwed on straight,_capisce?_ _¿Comprende? Verstehen Sie?_"

Jasper laughed at Alec's awful accents. His falsetto imitation of a German girl was awful enough to break the tension between the men. Once Jasper's laughter wore down, he sat back at the desk and picked up his pen.

"I wasn't writing to Alice. I was writing to my old man."

"Oh yeah?" Alec asked as he flopped back down on the bed.

"Yeah," Jasper replied. He felt as though he owed his partner admission into his private life after acting like such an ass. "Alice asked me to write to him. I told her that my biggest regret was not telling him I loved him when I left for the war."

Alec rolled his head to the side in disbelief. "Geez, Jasper."

Jasper only shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I should have, but words like that aren't easy for either of us. I know my old man loves me, but Alice says there's no room for regrets, so I'm going to take her advice and do it now."

"You caught yourself a smart girl, Jasper," Alec said. He flopped on the bunk and threw his arm over his eyes trying to block out the sun. He hoped to catch up on the shuteye he missed this morning. "Don't fuck it up. With her, I mean. Don't fuck it up."

"Not in the plan, Alec."

A slow smile spread over Jasper's face as the etching of a plan began to take shape in his mind. The plan grew into conviction until he reached for his pen and began nodding to himself with certainty.

_Someday she's going to be my wife._

_

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_

A/N: This chapter has a huge amount of history tied to it, the links are worth a look. I'm indebted to Kimberly Hupp for this chapter. I read her Master's thesis on "Uncle Joe" (link below) to help me understand what Americans thought of the Russian Leader shortly before and during WWII.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush

PS. The speech from General Patton is amazing to read but please heed the warning note, it's not for the faint of heart.

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Here are the sources for Jasper's imagined insults from Alice (plus a few more I liked but didn't use)

_"She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go." — **Dorothy Parker**_

_The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. - **Robert Graves**_

_ "If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." — **David Sedaris**_

_My knight in shining armour turned out to be an imposter in tin foil - **Anonymous**_

_And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.- **Rupert Brooke**_

_

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_**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 11**  
**

**Story reference: **In the mess hall Alec and Jasper discuss the British reaction to Eisenhower allowing the Russians to take Berlin.

**Historical Significance: **Stalin receives a personal telegram from Eisenhower giving his order of battle. The British protest the signal sent to Stalin, suggesting important decisions should not be taken by Eisenhower alone.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/mar45/f28mar45(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **In the mess hall Alec and Jasper discuss the British reaction to Eisenhower allowing the Russians to take Berlin.

**Historical Significance:** By moving the US and British Armies north to secure the German strongholds in Northern Germany, General Eisenhower agrees to Stalin's advance into Berlin.

**Source: **Analysis of the Political vs. Strategic importance of Berlin: http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/84/a8645484(dot)shtml

British and American Army positions in April and May 1945: http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/westfront/elbe45(dot)htm

Red Army positions in April and May 1945: http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/eastfront2/finaloffensive45(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference:** Alec recounts reported portions of General Patton's speech to US troops right before the battle of Normandy.

**Historical Significance: **Footnotes 1 &2 were provided by The Famous Patton Speech by Charles M. Province (Warning: The following link can be considered offensive for language.)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)pattonhq(dot)com/speech(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Alec and Jasper discuss the risks of allowing the Russians to take Berlin.

**Historical Significance:**Within five years of Lenin's death, Stalin had managed the role of indisputable ruler of the Soviet Union. His brutality was unremitting… he expropriated grain from peasants causing a widespread famine. In the 1930s, he launched a reign of political terror that led to purges, arrests, deportations and executions…. thousands of party, industrial, and military leaders disappeared during his "Great Terror."

**Source: **http:/www(dot)pbs(dot)org/wgbh/amex/bomb/peopleevents/pandeAMEX69(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper tells Alec about the photographer who was tortured and deported from Russia after trying to expose some of the atrocities of Stalin's regime.

**Historical Significance: **Wold opinion of Stalin was carefully crafted by only information he allowed to be published. Kimberly's Master's thesis explores information/misinformation and the possibility of downright deception by the American press. _"Uncle Joe": What Americans Thought of Joseph Stalin Before and After World War II_ By Kimberly Hupp

**Source: **http:/etd(dot)ohiolink(dot)edu/send-pdf(dot)cgi/Hupp%20Kimberly(dot)pdf?toledo1245175828


	12. Chapter 12 April 6, 1945

Thankfully ff e-mail alerts are back up and running, so if I haven't replied to your reviews yet, I'm planning to catch up this week.

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

**_Special thanks to MagentaMasen who helped me with the dialogue of he British characters in this chapter._****_  
_**

Posting an early chapter this week, enjoy. _- FB_

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**April 6, 1945**

Jasper slowly rubbed the skin just beneath his bottom lip in contemplation. The tip of his finger traced along slowly, sawing back and forth over his stubble as he read and re-read the quick note that Alice returned with her last letter_. _

_March 23, 1945_

_Jasper,_

_I'm twenty-four. Run while you still can._

_The elderly Miss Alice_

Jasper shook his head. Did she really think she could get rid of him so easily? He needed a quick retort worthy of her intellect to snap her out of her self-degradation. Although this was their way of being honest and playful with each other, sometimes he just wanted to shake her. She was better than this fear that lay between her lines. Even though he truly enjoyed this playful back and forth that had sparked between them, he wouldn't baby her. He thought for a while longer before the light bulb above his head had suddenly sparked to life. Jasper grinned widely, amused by his own wit, and nodded just before bringing his pen to the blank page before him.

_ April 6, 1945_

_Miss Alice,_

_I pay numbers no mind other than the months left remaining on the calendar until I complete my tour. You still have yet to send me your photograph. Would you leave a lonely soldier waiting? I'm not getting any younger here. Obviously, neither are you._

_Your Jasper_

_That ought to do it, _Jasper thought with a self satisfying grin plastered across his face. Unfortunately, his happy mood was suddenly sobered by the memory of Alice's letter and the cause of all her doubts, that wicked woman, Mrs. Clearwater. _Had she no soul?_ Even though he'd never hit a woman, he'd certainly love to see her throttled with hymnals at the hands of the Alice's church group. He smiled to himself, imagining five or so blue hairs smacking the wisdom of a higher power into an uppity socialite. His smile grew wider because he was the one who knew her better than all of them put together. She was so much more than the clever woman who wrapped herself so tightly in outward layers of propriety and self-confidence. She was his little bird, beautiful to listen to within her cage but a true vision when she opened her wings to fly. Jasper picked up his pen once more, vowing to himself that she would never allow her to feel unloved again.

_April 6, 1945_

_My Love, Miss Alice,_

_I love you. I've decided that all of my letters to you from now on will begin this way. I am struck by how those three words bring me to my knees. Perhaps this will make you laugh, but I should admit that it took me nearly an hour to summon the courage to open your letter. Even Alec was teasing me that it was easier to find out what was inside your letter by opening it rather than staring at it. I finally found my courage when I realized that even though I was afraid of rejection, I never gave up hope for us. Then when I finally opened it and saw your love staring back at me, I was delirious with joy, weak with humility, and frankly, dumbfounded with pride. For what else could a man like me feel but joy, humility, and pride that the woman he loves says she loves him in return. My only sadness is the echoes of the self doubt in your words. "Run and hide?" Alice, did you really feel that revealing your age would make my feelings for you change? _

_It seems as though we keep hurting one another in little ways. I hurt you by insinuating that you'd find my gift unworthy because of its meager cost. And you wound me by doubting my feelings for you, as if somehow the few years that separate us would make a difference to me. I'll assure you once again, they won't. Before you try to contradict me, just remember who I am…impetuous, foolish, soft hearted and loyal. I'm yours. Believe it. _

_As for that bat who tried to tear you down, remember who you are. You are your grandmother's daughter, loved and adored by a man who will always treat you as the gift that you are. So please allow me to remind you of what you have. You have a man who cannot live without you. _

Jasper rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to forget the image burned into his mind. The words bled through spreading like a disease killing the soul of the woman he loved. _She reminded me that I was living alone, watching my youth pass me by. Her daughter would not end up like me, with nothing but her dreams to comfort her._

_Mrs. Clearwater is a fool if she thinks that the value in life is measured by the fortune you acquire and rub in others' noses. Wealth is measured by the number of prayers you say at night thanking God for His blessings. Blessings like health, family, friends, and the enduring love of a spouse are worth a hell of a lot more than the number of pennies you can count in your bank. _

_All the same I do want to rush home to you. I'll fly, take a boat, even swim if I could because the idea of you crying all alone leaves me in agony. The worst part of it is the knowledge that I added to your hurt with my own actions. You're right, Alice. At times I feel consumed by my own self loathing and sometimes Alec can't stand to be around me. I feel such a heavy weight, but your words of forgiveness lighten it for me. At your request I will try my best to put this behind us. _

_This is so conflicting for me, Alice. The selfish part of me __wants__ you laid bare before me, but the idea of someone using that vulnerability to hurt you is like a knife twisting in my chest. Your kindness to that woman's daughter was repaid with her venom, but I will wash it away. Today I only have words, but someday soon I will heal her bite with my kiss. I'm not foolish enough to think that you need my protection from the likes of a narrow minded woman like her, but I offer it to you all the same. And if the folks in that small minded town can't see you for the treasure you are, then I will make a home for us somewhere where they will. I can think of a sleepy little town in west Texas where the folks would love to welcome me and my girl home. _

_I guess by now you've found my photograph within the pages of this letter. That's me two years ago just as I entered basic training. You can see the chain from my dog tags but my hair hadn't yet been shaved. The truth is that I hardly recognize myself. Those eyes are mine but the innocence in his face has changed. Alice, do you ever wonder what you'd say if you were met with a younger version of yourself? Part of me thinks that his ignorance was bliss. I wouldn't want to shatter his ambition by telling him how the world and the war truly work; yet, he does need to know something. He needs to know that when he's at his lowest point, when he feels like a failure, when he's sure the day will never end, he __will__ find a reason to keep going. She's just around the corner, waiting for his letter. Those innocent eyes need to know that his brother, his father, and his best friend aren't to be envied for what they've found; they're to be learned from so that he can someday treat the girl who captures his heart with the same adoration. I love you, Miss Alice, and I yearn for the day I can show you with more than just my words. _

_I should add a point here, though. I'm continuing to address you as Miss Alice. My devious plan is to guilt you into sharing your photograph with me by sending you mine. Although I have to hand it to you, the emotional blackmail you used when you told me how your fragile ego can't take the distance much longer (physically and figuratively), well…you almost had me, my sly girl...almost._

_If it makes you feel any better, I will say that that photograph came at a mighty hefty price. I asked my mother to mail it to me, and now she wants all the details about my girl. She's rather perceptive and certainly read between the lines of my last letter home. I guess it's rather telling that neither of us has revealed our relationship to our families. I skirted telling her the truth because I was afraid that you'd reject my affections, but no more. Now I have the confidence in our love to share it with her. Why shouldn't happiness like this be shared? She'll be happy for me as I hope your family will be happy for you. Come on, ol' girl, you have the backbone to stand up to your mama, right? Just tell her I'll buy her a new china pattern for her curio cabinet with your dowry. You do have a dowry, right? _

_In case you're wondering, I'm just pulling your leg, Alice. My "tells" are just as evident as your demure smile. The cocky half grin currently covering my face is all the information you'll ever need. _

_All kidding about our families aside, I took your advice and wrote to my dad last night. Through the letter he'll have no doubts about how much I love him and miss him. The weight of that regret has been lifted off of my shoulders, thanks to you. As for your own regrets of not following Bella into the OSS, Alice, the idea of you in this mess over here makes my blood run cold. I have no desire to see you put in the same position as Bella. My sanity remains intact knowing that the war is here and you are over there._

_You asked me to share my burdens with you, but right now my biggest burden is one I can't fully describe in a letter. It's the burden of failing someone I cared for when he needed me at my best. His name is Seth. I am very fortunate that he is alive today, but the fault for his misfortune is my own. I'll get to see him again soon, but that doesn't take away the burden I feel. I'm sorry I can't share more right now, but if you ask Edward, he can. He was there._

_I think Bella would agree that there is more than one way to prove yourself in this world. Bella chose the path that gave her the opportunity to serve her country in war. The path you chose, although different, still serves others in a very important way. You give children the benefit of your knowledge. As you said, with a few simple tools, nurturing, and patience, you can transform a child into something unique, beautiful, and maybe even inspiring. You didn't have to follow Bella across the ocean and into the dangers of war to find your calling in life. You've made one all on your own. That's not to say that you and Bella haven't learned from each other along the way. In fact, I'm rather glad that Bella helped draw you out of your shell. You never know when climbing trees and inspecting foxholes might come in handy. It will be just one many things I know I'll learn from you over the course of a full life together._

Jasper was proud of Alice's love of learning and teaching. Just as he would teach her how to ride and love the beauty of his family's land, he was looking forward to all that he would learn from her. Someday their boys would benefit from such a well-educated mother. He knew that they would have a love of knowledge. It would be a gift passed down from their mother. With that thought Jasper froze. It wasn't that he thought that school and book knowledge were only for boys as it had been in the old days. He just imagined that he and Alice would have a house full of boys someday. That image brought a huge smile to his face. Jasper sat back from his rickety desk stunned by how Alice's three little words proclaiming her love for him had changed everything. Now he dared to dream of their life together, of marriage and children, and growing old together. It was still a dream, but it inched ever closer to his outstretched hands. And once he finally grabbed it, he knew he would hold on tight and never let go. For now, his words would continue to coax the dream into a reality. With a grin he picked up his pen and continued his honorable but mischievous efforts to woo his gal.

_Let's talk for a moment about the apple game, shall we? In fact, I refute your statement, my dear. I think I should be ridiculously smug at the "precognition of a little girl's game." Although I'm sure your grace and beauty attracts many a man from a young pup to an old dog, make no mistake my love, you've already been spoken for. Though the lucrative life of a mortician's wife may be calling your name, I can offer you so much more. I have weathered and dry hands from working outdoors all my life. I have an old saddle and a few tired mares and a lumpy mattress to offer. Wait, don't go running for the hills. I can also offer a star filled sky, a piece of God's earth to call our own, and the beating heart of a man that will forever be yours. _

Jasper pulled in a deep breath and licked his lips. His face grew flushed and his blood thickened as he looked upon the final paragraph of Alice's letter. His palms grew sweaty, and the pen he was holding more tightly than he realized flipped out of his fingers and bounced upon the wooden floor. He glanced over his shoulder to stare at Alec's sleeping form. Alec snorted and groaned as the sound of the bouncing pen echoed across the room.

_I feel as though I need to steady myself before finishing this letter, for your words make me weak with want and need for you. I am struck speechless by the idea of my words inspiring your creativity. Your sculptures fill me with the desire to touch you as you've described and so many ways more. The imagery of your words calls to my mind, my sinful body, and my open heart. I can assure you that my pulse beats quickly, but I'll try to keep my humility in the presence of a lady by keeping the rest tucked away in my mind. I can't imagine the response of your church's coffee clan should the true nature of my feelings find their way onto this paper and into their wrinkled hands. I wouldn't want to be responsible for the untimely demise of elderly, God fearing, church going women with addled minds and weakened hearts. No, instead I'll tell you that my touch will be tender. My lips will be gentle. My arms will be strong but gentle. And my heart, my heart will definitely be skipping a beat. _

_I can feel it. My heart drums loudly in my ears. And yet, it's off kilter, as if it were just a moment out of step. The tempo has yet to find its accompaniment, but it will. Someday it will. It will drum strong and true the moment it feels your heart beating against my chest. The lock will click, the match will strike, the apple will fall, and your name will be on my lips. I surrender to you my heart, my mind, my soul, my future. _

_I love you, Alice. _

_Eternally yours,_

_Jasper_

_P.S. I'll wait on my knees forever for your smile, and when I finally get one, and you know_

_I will, then, I'll carry you into the kitchen and share a piece of my pie with you._

j~JJJ~j

Jasper let out a low whistle as he reached the edge of the drive and peered up at the homestead before him. He had to blink twice and turn his head both left and right to take in the enormous structure. This "country home" seemed to be bigger than ETOUSA. Jasper shook off his stunned gaze then turned back to the black cab and the tired old driver inside of it.

"I need you back here by four, not a minute later. My leave expires, and I need to be back in my bunk by seven. Can I count on you to be here?" Jasper asked while holding an extra tip up for the cabbie to see.

"Yes, sir," he replied, reaching for the tip.

"Don't be late," Jasper replied, handing the man half the tip. "You'll get the other half when I get back to ETOUSA on time."

"Not to worry, old boy, I'll 'ave you back in plenty of time. You'll be tucked in your bunk, snug as a bug in a rug. Wouldn't want a good soldier such as yourself missing out on your nightly repose." Then under his breath he added, "We need all the healthy men we can get."

With that, the cabbie nodded at Jasper and pulled the car round the circular drive and back toward the main road. Jasper turned back to the estate in front of him, shaking his head in awe. Seth, never let on that he was from money.

"No wonder Edward wanted to teach him poker that night. Seth Winterbotham has one _hell_ of a poker face."

Jasper straightened his shoulders and dusted off his coat before approaching the massive front door. He was dressed in his only set of civilian clothes. They were a little snug from where he'd grown a bit taller and broader in the last year and a half. Though his apparel was clean, he still feared he'd be turned away by some servant as a beggar. Summoning courage from the debt he felt he still owed his friend, Jasper squared his shoulders and rapped the brass knocker loudly on the massive front door.

He waited. The time that actually passed was probably no longer than a minute or two, but to Jasper it seemed like thirty. He pushed down the nagging desire to chew on his fingernail as he waited impatiently. Finally, after his teeth began to chatter against the wind, he raised his hand to begin knocking again, only to be startled by the door swinging open in front of him. Jasper nearly fell into the bosom of the short, round woman before him.

"Excuse me, m—ma'am," Jasper stuttered in shock over where he nearly landed. He quickly recovered himself despite the stain of embarrassment he felt on his cheeks. "I'm here to pay a call on a friend of mine."

Jasper's obvious American accent was made all the more prominent by his southern lilt. The woman's eyes grew wide and a broad smile covered her round, rosy face. She didn't look much like a servant to Jasper. At least none he'd seen in any picture show. There was no black dress or white scalloped apron. No feather duster clasped tightly in her hands. But before Jasper could further ponder the attire of the woman before him, she screeched out a loud chirp followed by a very high pitched question.

"Jasper? Jasper Whitlock?" she asked, muddling his last name. It seemed more like _wet-luck_ than Whitlock.

Jasper's brow furrowed at the awful pronunciation of his proud family name but nodded politely all the same. It was that brief and innocent acknowledgement that sent the woman flying into his arms. Now Jasper was a strong man, but this woman, as short and stout as she was, nearly knocked the young private flat on his back. If that had actually happened, Jasper briefly wondered if he'd be able to get back up.

"Jasper! By the grace of the angels, come in, my boy, come in! Seth! _Seth!_" She called after pulling Jasper by the arm of his coat into the home's massive foyer. "Where is that boy? Seth Reginald Winston Winterbotham if you know what is good for you, you will drag your bally lazy backside in here now and make it jolly well quick boy!"

If someone could have frozen Jasper's current expression and then described it back to him, the most appropriate adjectives would include stunned, bewildered and, quite possibly, frightened. He expected to find a coddling mother who doted over her son, propping his pillows, and feeding him chicken soup. Instead this woman, perhaps a servant, perhaps a deranged relative, was about a hundred and eighty degrees from what he expected. The woman jovially shut the door behind him and as Jasper turned back around he saw his young friend loping slowly down the steps. Seth's hand dragged along the dark wood banister. An air of nonchalance graced his features, but his tight grip on the banister demonstrated that he was still weak enough to need the physical support. Seth's slow pace was a clear indication that he was still recovering, but once he caught sight of Jasper, Seth did his best to portray himself as the picture of health.

When Seth finally reached the bottom step, Jasper held out his hand, partly to offer assistance and partly to shake his hand. Seth ignored the gesture and pulled Jasper into a back pounding hug.

"You're late old fellow!" he joked.

Jasper only shrugged. "I had trouble finding the place. What can I say? I was looking for a normal sized house. Quite a little homestead you have here." Jasper lifted an eyebrow in challenge, waiting for Seth to level some objection.

"No, Jasper. This one isn't much at all," Seth said, casually waving his hand around the foyer. It's just a summer home really."

Before Jasper could return Seth's quip with cutting remark of his own, the round woman reappeared.

"Aaah, Seth, you sure took your sweet time getting down here." She smiled affectionately. "I'll have lunch ready for you soon. Go and sit in the parlor but don't you dare go cockin' up my room."

Jasper about choked on his own tongue. He'd never heard a woman speak that way before, let alone Seth's _mother_.

"Bugger off you two," Mrs. Winterbotham added before turning on her heel in the opposite direction.

"Wow," Jasper started. "Your ma is—well, she's somethin'."

"My ma—oh, yes, she's a bit of spare." He chuckled.

Jasper furrowed his brow, wondering if he was referring to his mother's round belly as a spare tire. Jasper thought that was pretty rude and crass, even for Seth's sense of humor, but he let it go.

Seth slowly led the way into the parlor. _It's immense, _Jasper thought as he took in the sight of the room's copious windows. Each corner showcased a different view of the estate. Despite the beauty of the landscape, the finery inside the room was equally as stunning. Jasper was nearly overwhelmed by it all, everything, from the large curved ceiling to the eclectic furniture. He doubted that even the Texas governor's mansion would be this nice. When he finally finished his tour around the room, Jasper paused with a confused look on his face.

_Where the heck do I sit?_

There were no fewer than six couches in the room. Each one had been placed at a different angle to enhance the views. Relieved by Seth's quiet understanding, he took a seat on the couch by the fireplace when Seth was seated and had motioned for Jasper to join him. The couch was soft and comfortably warmed by the fire. Though the plushy seat was comforting, it was the plate of cookies on the coffee table that had caught Jasper's eye. Jasper swore he felt a little drool pool in the corner of his mouth. Seth only grinned widely deciding to have a little fun with his friend.

"Go on, have a biscuit. Just don't have too many or _mother _will be displeased," he added with a smirk.

Shortly after they sat down to chat, Mrs. Winterbotham brought in a light lunch. She made sure the men had everything they needed then gave Jasper's cheek a pinch and lightly cuffed Seth's ear on the way out. Jasper didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for his friend. Seth was certainly a man, but apparently his mother continued to treat him as a bit of a spoiled little boy. Still, Seth seemed to take it all in stride. Perhaps he didn't mind the extra attention or maybe he was just happy to be alive and back with his family.

Once they both had finished their meal, Seth pulled out a deck of playing cards and set up for a few hands of five card draw.

"So, are you ready for me this time?"

"Yup," Jasper replied with a bit more accent on his drawl than he'd normally allow.

"Okay, let's see how much bunce you've brought for me today."

Seth answered Jasper's foggy memory with further clarification.

"You remember…bunce," he indicated, pulling the lining of his pockets out. "Brass? _Money!_" he finally shouted at Jasper. "I want to see how much I'm going to collect when I win it all away from you."

Jasper looked down a little sheepishly and shrugged, he only had enough for cab fare.

"I don't have much on me. Guess, we'll have to play for cookies," he added as he plucked one off the tray.

"They're biscuits. You're in England, not the States; get it right."

The remark, although meant to be a joke, caused Jasper's shoulders to sag. Seth caught on right away and lightly punched Jasper's shoulder, pushing him back so Seth could read his face. He decided to make light of things to help draw Jasper out of his shell. The pair had often done this for one another when they had been partners.

"What happened? Did Roberts win it all from you already this week?"

"Nope." Jasper shrugged. "I spent it. On a gift. For _my girl_."

Jasper said the last part slowly so as to emphasize the importance of his girl to Seth.

"A girl?" Seth's voice was still scratchy and weak when he tried to suddenly changed octaves.

Jasper only smiled and nodded.

"Well, how the hell did you pull that off? Did you find yourself a fine English filly, perhaps one that you intend to take back to America who will do up all your britches for you? That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

Seth laughed, but the look of disgust that appeared on Jasper's face confused him. After all, this was exactly what they'd talked about. They joked about the girl Jasper would find who'd be a good enough lover and housewife at the same time. Jasper, too, was remembering those talks. Only he wasn't remembering them quite as fondly. He wanted to take all of those stupid remarks back. Although they'd been joking around at the time, the words now left an acrid taste in Jasper's mouth.

"It's not like that, Seth. _She's_ not like that. She's more amazing than anyone I've ever met. She's smart and funny. She understands me, and she doesn't take a lick of shit. I'd do _her_ laundry for her for the rest of her life if she'd marry me."

At this, Seth sputtered his biscuit and tea all over the back of his mother's couch. Both men stared blindly at one another before laughing like hyenas and working quickly to mop up the mess before Seth's mother returned to witness their debauchery.

"She sounds dandy, Jasper," Seth said as he grabbed a hold of Jasper's shoulder. He gave him a small almost repentant smile, letting him know he was being sincere. "How did you find her?"

"She's Bella's best friend. We've been writing to each other since November."

"Wait, Edward's Bella?" Seth asked.

Jasper nodded. Seth sat quietly for a moment, then, as if the light bulb finally went off in his head, he nearly screeched at Jasper with his raspy voice.

"You want to get married, but you've never even met her?"

Seth's hoarse voice was obviously getting worse the longer they talked.

Jasper smiled. "I don't have to. I already know everything there is to know about her. She's more than I ever deserved to find."

"I have little doubt of that," Seth joked before laying down his hand. "Two pair."

"Just a pair," Jasper replied before tossing his set of deuces down in front of Seth. His third deuce lay hidden face down beneath his thumb. "What about you? Now that you're home I'm sure the ladies are beating a path to your front door. They hung all over you at all the USO dances."

Seth lifted a hand to touch the collar of his shirt, but he discreetly touched the scar that lay just above the fabric.

"Not so sure the ladies would be as eager once they get a good look at my scar."

"The one who is worth anything to you will be," Jasper replied with conviction.

After a lengthy silence, Seth lifted his eyes to find Jasper staring back at him. He wasn't staring in the direction of the jagged scar on his neck, the one that could never truly be hidden by clothing. Instead, he was staring into his friend's eyes, willing him to believe him.

"If I've learned anything by loving Alice, it's that love doesn't always come in the package you'd expect, but that's what makes the surprise all the better. She wasn't what I expected; she's so much more. If I learned anything from Edward, it was that he put Bella above all else. He was truly consumed by his devotion to her. He cares for her, loves her, puts her above all else, but he also challenges her. Alice and I push and pull and even antagonize each other. She does it to get a rise out of me. And that's exactly what I'm doing for her. I'm rising up to be a better man for her."

"Good Lord old chap, that's a rather smarmy attitude. You truly do like the girl; however you're a dreadful disgrace to all the beastly men of this world"

Seth laughed when Jasper threw a pillow at his shoulder.

"Aw, Jasper, now don't be sore. The truth is it couldn't have happen to a nicer Yank."

Jasper outwardly rolled his eyes, but inside he was happy to see his friend on the road to recovery.

"Seth," a woman's voice echoed as she entered the room. "How are you feeling, darling?"

Seth stood followed quickly by Jasper as a lovely woman with features that matched Seth's stepped further into the room. She kissed Seth lightly on the cheek and let the palm of her hand gently caress over the apple of his cheek. She smiled adoringly, and Seth couldn't hold back a soft smile in return. His eyes darted away from the woman toward Jasper, and he licked his lips briefly in embarrassment before immediately glancing down at the floor.

"I'm fine. _Really,_" he added at the end in barely a whisper. Seth lifted his eyes from the floor to find Jasper staring, almost slack jawed at the two of them. Recovering his senses, Seth extended his hand to gesture toward Jasper. "Mother, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Father told you he was coming today. This is Jasper, Jasper Whitlock." Jasper was more than stunned; he was frozen in place as he stared at the adoring look in this woman, _this mother's_ eyes. It made him miss his own mother's gentle touch.

The real Mrs. Winterbotham finally pried her eyes away from her son to glance at Jasper. She looked from him and then back to Seth and finally the recognition hit her like a ton of bricks. This was the boy who had saved her child.

Unlike the woman who nearly toppled Jasper on the threshold, this woman looked as if she was about to faint. She was pale and thin but truly beautiful. Her brunette waves were tucked up beneath a tilt hat with a light netting blushing against her fair, round cheeks. She wore a blue wool dress coat and clutched black leather gloves in her hand. Jasper couldn't help but notice the woman's long fingers were accentuated at the tips by red lacquer. The color matched the shine on her lips. Finally, much like her son and the other inhabitants of this home, the woman took a shaky step forward and pulled Jasper into a warm embrace.

"Thank you," she tearfully whispered. "Thank you for saving my son from that monster. If there is ever anything I can do for you, please, _please _let me know."

Jasper nodded stiffly while Seth tried to pry his mother away. She nodded and sniffled a bit. Seth reached into his breast pocket and brought out a handkerchief for his mother.

"I'm about to leave for a little while and grace Bess with the pleasure of my company," she said turning to Seth. "I won't be long," she added as she traced over Seth's temple and lovingly ran her fingers through his hair. "Is there anything I can bring home for you?"

"A wet-nurse," Seth murmured under his breath. Apparently he was interested in a stiff drink and the attention of a well proportioned nurse to administer it.

His quiet joke hadn't escaped his mother's ears. "Seth Reginald," she admonished as she lightly slapped him on the shoulder with her leather gloves.

"I should bring Nanny in here to feed you some castor oil instead."

Seth shuttered and wrinkled his nose in disgust. His mother only raised her eyebrows satisfied that she had gotten her son to straighten up, at least for the moment.

"Mother? There is something I'd like to ask."

The tone of his voice was so serious that Jasper himself was wondering what he could get or do for his partner.

"We'd like to use the telephone. Jasper has a girl back home in the States and he hasn't spoken with her in forever. I think it would be an awfully nice surprise for her if he rang her while he was here."

Jasper's eyes went wide, first in excitement but then he trampled down that emotion and recovered his senses.

"No. No, ma'am, I couldn't impose. _Really,_ Seth, I can't," Jasper added shaking his head.

Seth wondered what had made Jasper so squeamish all of a sudden when he couldn't stop jabbering about his girl five minutes ago. Before he could ponder that any further his mother put a hand on Jasper's shoulder and assured him that it was the least she could do. Mrs. Winterbotham informed Jasper that she would be quite offended if he didn't take them up on Seth's offer. There weren't many ways she could thank Jasper for helping her son and she would be deeply wounded if he didn't at least try to get through to his girl.

Jasper looked into the deeply sincere eyes of Seth's mother and gave in, nodding quickly as he graciously acquiesced. Somewhere inside him nervous energy was floating in his stomach like soda bubbles. Another part of him, the more visible part, looked like he was going to toss his recently acquired lunch. After thanking Jasper a few more times, Mrs. Winterbotham left Seth and Jasper to their own devices. Jasper abruptly shoved Seth hard enough to topple him back down to the couch.

"What was that for?" Seth whined.

"For one, lying about the identity of your mother."

Seth only smiled at this remark, pissing off Jasper to no end.

_Damn, Edward was so right about this kid being able to bluff._

"For another, how am I going to be able to call Alice? I don't even know how to begin to route the call."

"What's her address?"

Jasper replied without even having to think. "103 Little Park Road Easton, MD USA 21601."The address was engraved in his memory. He knew it as well as he knew his own name, rank and serial number.

"That's all you need."

Ten minutes later Jasper was sitting in front of a small table in the Winterbotham's study. The black phone was to his ear as he listened to the operator tell him that she couldn't get the call through and to try again in a little while. Jasper didn't know whether he should feel defeated or a little relieved. He and Seth continued to play poker and after every hand Jasper would try again.

"So who's the woman who fixes your meals and politely requests that you not 'cock-up' her sitting room?"

Seth laughed heartily. "Oh, that's Nanny. She's been with the family for years. She was my governess when I was little."

"A governess, huh? I'd say that after being raised by a governess perhaps you should have better manners, but after meeting the woman, perhaps she taught you quite well."

After that comment, Seth only laughed harder. "Nanny never talks like that in front of my parents, just me. She says there's something not quite right about an only child. As if having no one to tease and torture them that makes them weak in the belly. So when my parents are out of earshot, she'd give me _other _lessons."

"And she never got caught?" Jasper asked incredulously.

"Just once. I was about nine when she cuffed my ear for setting her alarm clock for two am and hiding it in the back of her wardrobe. She let loose a blue streak at me at the same moment my mother came in the kitchen after being gone all morning."

"And?"

"And I had to apologize. Then Mother and Nanny had a talk while I went out to play. I don't know exactly what was said, but apparently Mother took Nanny's side. Even so Nanny's mindful of what she says when my parents are around but when we're alone, she's quite liberal in letting me know when I step out of line."

Seth had the telephone to his ear this time and was dealing out the next hand when he froze in mid-motion.

"Jasper! It's ringing!"

* * *

A/N: Will the sparks still fly between them if Alice picks up on the other end of the line? Catch you next time.

Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	13. Chapter 13 April 7, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. _**

I know, last chapter ended with a little cliffhanger, but hopefully having two chapters in one week will ease the torment a bit. **_  
_**

* * *

**April 7, 1945**

"Jasper! It's ringing!"

Seth practically threw the phone receiver at Jasper. He leapt from his chair, nearly knocking the small table over in the process. Jasper's mouth immediately went dry, and he could barely choke out Alice's address when an operator from Maryland requested it from the other end of the line.

"One moment, sir."

_One moment. Oh my God. In one moment I'm going to hear Alice's voice. What the hell am I going to say?_

Before Jasper could even form a coherent thought, the moment was at hand.

_"Hello?"_

"Hello, Alice?"

Jasper's voice was high pitched, almost a screech. This was not the way he envisioned Alice hearing his voice for the first time. His heart was beating furiously inside his chest as he waited for a response from the girl he loved beyond all reason.

"_Oh, I'm sorry." _ There was a pause on the other end of the line. "_Alice isn't home. May I ask who is calling?"_

The disappointment was devastating. To Jasper, it felt as if someone had dropped an anvil on his chest. It was crushing the very life out of him.

"Please, can you tell her that Jasper called, and that I…I l—"

_ "JASPER!"_ the voice on the other end of the line screeched.

"Yes," he replied carefully. Jasper was completely confused by the excitement in the woman's voice.

_"Jasper, it's Bella! Oh my God, where are you?"_

"Bella! I'm in Stroud, with Seth."

"_Oh, Jasper, please tell me he's okay." _ There was a muffled sound as if Bella had covered the receiver and was shouting Edward's name.

Jasper looked at Seth, who was now nearly bouncing in his chair. "Edward and Bella are with Alice too?" he asked.

But before Jasper could respond Bella was back on the phone.

"_Jasper, here talk to Edward. I'm going to find Alice. Stay on the line! I'm going to find her."_

There were more muffled sounds but in the background, then Jasper heard the stern voice of his friend.

_"Bella…"_

Bella ignored her husband and grabbed her coat from the closet next to the telephone table in the hall. She could feel Edward's concerned stare boring into the back of her head.

"I'll be fine, Edward," Jasper heard Bella's voice grow fainter followed by the clanging of a set of keys.

"Be careful," Edward pleaded. "Don't draw attention to yourself and if at all possible and try not to confront her directly in public."

"I've got it, Edward. Now get back to Jasper and keep him on that line. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Edward pulled his wife by the lapel of her coat and pressed his lips furiously to hers. She melted but only for a moment before wrenching herself away and heading carefully down the front steps. With the key in the ignition, Bella lifted her hood over her head and backed the car out of its hiding spot in the deep foliage at the edge of the property line. Bella clutched the steering wheel tightly as she drove through the streets outside of Easton. She kept one eye on the road ahead while the other continued to furtively glance at her mirrors. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention by speeding but needed to get to Alice as quickly as possible.

She understood Edward's concern. She would feel the same way in his shoes. Ever since they returned from the war, Edward was always nervous when she was out of sight. It was an aftereffect of being separated for so many months. The feeling was born out of the fact that they had each been told that the other had been killed in service to their country. Bella's heart thumped loudly in her chest remembering the day her doctor, Carlisle Cullen, had told her that her husband had died. One just doesn't ever forget that moment, and Bella knew from the look in Edward's anxious eyes that he was reliving a similar memory when she walked out of Alice's front door.

_I'm fine. We're fine, _she thought as she let go of the wheel to rub a gentle circle over the small bump of her belly. _We'll find Alice and get her home to Jasper._

Bella turned down Wilson Avenue and searched for the little grocer where Alice often went for fresh milk and produce. She usually had to go out for extra milk when she and Edward came to spend the weekend with her. It would be odd to try to explain to her milkman why she needed to double her regular delivery every other week. Bella slowly turned into the gravel lot and parked a few spots down from Alice's sedan. Before leaving her car she checked her mirrors once more to ensure she wasn't followed or noticed by any of the locals.

This was Bella's hometown. She'd lived here for four years, and it wouldn't be impossible for a friend or neighbor to spot her. Since their arrival in the U.S. six months ago, Bella and Edward had to maintain aliases. Even though they were no longer active in the OSS, they needed to keep up the charade of being Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. It ensured their safety and that of their infant daughter. Bella would take no chances when it came to protecting her child.

Finally satisfied that no one was paying particular attention to her, Bella stepped from her car, locked the door and pulled her hood tightly over her head.

The bell above the door rang as Bella stepped into the small store. She immediately felt the shop's warm air and comforting scents relax some of the tension in her shoulders. She walked along the first little aisle while keeping a persistent eye out for Alice.

_Damn Alice for being too short to see over the aisles._

Finally Bella saw her with milk in one hand and a sack full of oranges in another.

The echo of the bell above the storefront door played in Alice's ears. She didn't look up to notice anyone, she was too busy examining the barrel of walnuts before her. She thought through the recipe card in her head as she considered making sticky buns for Edward tomorrow morning. They were his favorite.

One moment she was wondering if she had enough brown sugar in her cupboard at home and the next her entire bag of oranges tumbled to the floor. Alice squealed in surprise. She stared in dumbfounded surprise watching Bella placing a re-folded a switch blade into her pocket. Before she even had a chance to ask what was going on, Bella dropped to her knees to begin retrieving the rolling fruit.

"Alice, don't look up," Bella whispered. "Oh ma'am, I'm so sorry," Bella announced in a falsetto voice. "Here, let me help you."

Alice panicked not knowing what would cause Bella to act this way. She knew Bella and Edward maintained aliases and that they didn't leave her house when they came for visits, but this shot Alice's adrenaline up one hundred percent.

"What?" she started, but Bella cut her off.

"Drop what you've got. I'll pay for it. Make some excuse to the grocer and go home. Jasper called. He's on the phone waiting for you. Go!"

Alice froze for a second, trying to process Bella's words.

"Go!" Bella said again. This time she reached over and squeezed Alice's hand to get her moving.

Alice shot up, walked to the end of the aisle and threw an apology to the grocer behind the counter.

"I'm sorry, Sal. I'll have to come back and pick the groceries up later. I forgot I was supposed to help Cindy tonight before her bridge club came over. Have a good night," she added as she pushed through the door.

Bella heard the clang of the bell and stood to place the groceries back on the shelves they came from. She grabbed a newspaper from the stack at the end of the aisle, tossed a quarter in the direction of the shop owner and strode toward the front door. She heard the register clang followed by the grocer calling after her.

"Your change, ma'am."

"Keep it, and have a nice day," she added with a short wave, and then she was gone.

Alice was in a half daze as she reached for her car's door handle. Jasper was on the phone? What did that mean? Was he hurt? Was he coming home?

Panic was mixed with nervous excitement as Alice sped through the roads that would take her home. She sent up a silent prayer asking for Jasper's health and that her own speeding infractions wouldn't be noticed by the local policeman. It wasn't more than a ten minute trip home from the grocer's, but Alice was determined to make it in five. This end of town was far too unpopulated to require a stoplight, still she watched for other cars, farm equipment and the occasional stray farm animal as she sped along the winding roads. It was an overcast day, but Alice could feel the change of seasons in the air. It was as if spring was almost ready to pop. All of the trees had swollen buds that were just ready for a warm sunny day to call them forth from their winter slumber.

That's how Alice felt, just like a bud just getting ready to blossom. An unconscious smile spread across her face as Alice realized that the exact person who could make her bloom was at her home, just waiting to hear her voice.

Alice pressed the pedal a little harder. The large engine growled and sped forward pressing its passenger back against the seat bench.

"Just a little further, just a little further," Alice whispered to herself.

At last her family home appeared at the end of her street. Alice took a steadying breath as she turned the wheel and drove up her long driveway. She pulled to the far right side of the wide driveway to allow Bella enough room to maneuver her car around her own and back into its makeshift evergreen enclosure.

For a second time her sweaty palm grasped the door's metal handle pressing it hard enough to release the catch. The first time it just slipped off completely and Alice had to consciously work to steady her shaking hand before attempting it again. Once free of the door, Alice flew forward, leaving her purse behind. She barely had the composure to forestall her escape long enough to swing the heavy door closed behind her.

Spring rains caused Alice's heels to sink into a muddy patch of lawn as she ran, but she couldn't care less. The destination before her was worth more than a ruined pair of pumps and the mess on her rugs she'd have to clean up later.

Alice flushed as the warm air of her house brushed her chilled cheeks. By this time she was running. She flew through the living room and toward the tiny telephone table that was opposite of her kitchen doorway. There stood Edward, smiling and laughing with the caller on the other end of the line.

"Jasper, h-hold on a second. Here she is. Yeah, me too. Jasper… I promise."

Edward held out the phone, and Alice reached for it. He smiled lightly and immediately looked toward the front door.

"Bella?" he asked with wide eyes before Alice could even lift the phone to her ear.

"She should be right behind me," Alice replied.

As if on cue, Alice and Edward both heard gravel pass beneath the tires of a car making its way up the drive. Edward smiled and kissed the top of Alice's head, then strode through the front door, without a thought for a coat or hat. He was too eager to run down the front steps and fill his arms with his wife.

Alice smiled after him. It was plain in Edward's every action how much he loved Bella. His world was truly incomplete without her in it. A harsh thump in Alice's chest brought her back to the moment and the man waiting on the other end of the line. She could barely calm her breaths as she lifted the receiver.

"Hello?"

"_Alice?"_

"Yes, Jasper. It's me."

Relief filled the young private. She was there. She made it in time. He glanced over to the clock on the mantle but was unwilling to acknowledge the limited amount of time he had with her before he had to go.

"Alice," he began. Suddenly his throat began to swell as if precious air could barely fill his lungs fast enough to account for the rapid drum in his chest. "Alice, I love you."

A strangled cry sounded in Jasper's ears causing his heart to both swell and break at the same time. On the other end of the line, Alice had her hand to her mouth, trying to hold back her sobs of relief. He was okay. Alice got just enough of a grip on herself to manage her response.

"I love you too."

Tears dripped down her cheeks both out of happiness and relief.

"Are you okay?" she asked still needing the assurance that he wasn't hurt.

"I'm okay, Alice. I'm on leave."

The moment the word left his lips he glanced again at the clock over the fireplace.

"I'm just a few hours from London with a good friend. He offered me the use of his family's telephone. We've been trying to get through for about an hour."

Really, it had been closer to two hours than one, but that fact wasn't really important.

"I'm so glad you made it through," she replied. "I'm so glad to hear your voice."

He heard the longing in her voice and the stab of realization reached his heart. She felt it too.

"Me too, Alice. Me too."

There were so many words he wanted to say, so many promises to make but for the moment he reveled in his connection to the woman he loved. They may be an ocean apart, but for the moment he was close enough to hear her breaths.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, I'm here, sweetheart."

Alice's chest tightened. She pressed her forehead against the closet door for support. She had never before been someone's sweetheart but now she was. She was _his_ sweetheart.

"Jasper, the broach you sent me, I truly love it. I wear it every day."

Jasper's smile grew. It made his heart so full to hear she wore a reminder of him every day. He thought about saying that he wished it was more but quickly remembered the words in his last letter where he promised not to hurt her anymore. She accepted his gift as part of him, not perfect, but given with his whole heart. Before Jasper could reply, Alice went on.

"You're with me everywhere, from your ribbon on the tree outside my door, to your compass in my jar, to your letters in my desk." Alice wanted to add how she looked up at the stars each night but was still a little afraid of running him off.

"What no stars of night?" Jasper clucked.

Alice laughed. It was a real laugh that spread warmth across her chest all the way out to her fingertips. To Jasper, it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"I want to hear you laugh like that every day," he breathed.

Alice sighed. "Come home." It was barely a whisper but still the words passed her lips.

Those words, although an ocean away, met Jasper's breath like ice crystals, heavy, cold and thick.

"I know, Alice, I know. God, they're so close t—" but Jasper could say no more.

The ice crystals had turned to freezing water, dousing him and making him remember his post. He was speaking to his sweetheart, but he was still on an open phone line, and one that belonged to one of the most influential men in project Ultra. The only word he could add tore at his chest. He wanted it so much faster, but he could only promise her one thing.

"Soon."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. That wasn't fair."

"It is _fair_! It's fair for me to want to be with you just as badly. I swear, Alice, I'll do everything I can to be there soon."

Jasper heard the brass knocker pound loudly against the front door. He looked up at the clock and realized the time had passed even more quickly than he'd feared. The pain of leaving her like this lanced through him, and before he really thought through his words they tumbled out of his mouth.

"Thanksgiving," he promised. "I'll be home by Thanksgiving."

He knew the Allied march was across the Rhine but not even the recent intelligence information could estimate when they'd reach Berlin and if or when the Nazis would surrender. Still, they both needed something to look forward to, a date, a promise, a wish to help guide them through the remainder of their days apart.

"I'm going to hold you to that, private," Alice retorted.

"Aaah, there's the spunky girl I love."

Alice smiled at being called a girl.

"She's here, waiting and ready with all the vip and vinegar you can handle. Just don't break her heart."

"No more than I could want to break my own."

Jasper heard the agitated voice of the cabbie in the foyer and knew it was only a matter of moments before he'd have to go.

"Alice, sweetheart, I have to go. My leave runs out soon, and I can't be late back to my bunk. Instead of just eating Loch Ness for supper, they'll force me to dredge for it too. And trust me the Loch is quite frigid at the moment. I'd rather not have to slay a monster in its murky, icy depths."

"I bet Perseus could do it."

Jasper laughed. "I bet he could, but I am merely a mortal man."

"No," Alice whispered softly. "Not merely mortal." In her mind she added, merely heaven sent, but to Jasper she offered much more soft and gentle words. "You're merely mine."

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"I want that dance. You know the one on your kitchen floor. Save that one for me."

"It's yours."

"Dream a little dream of me," he whispered.

"Every night," she replied.

The door to the study opened and an apologetic Seth titled his head to the agitated cabbie behind him.

"Jasper."

"I know," he replied, answering Seth. "Alice, I have to go."

"Okay," this time it was Alice who was whispering. "No practicing without me."

"What?" he asked as Seth shoved Jasper's free arm through his coat.

"No practicing your dancing without me."

Jasper chuckled a little at her dig. "Ditto. I love you," he added after a beat.

"I love you too."

"Goodbye, Alice."

"Goodbye, my love."

Jasper placed the phone back on the cradle and wiped his fingers across his brow. He didn't have more than a second to consider the pain of telling her goodbye. Seth was already yanking his other arm into his coat while Nanny shoved a sack of food into his arms. The pair hugged him tightly, then pushed him out the door and into the cold air. Jasper waved at them from inside the cab, ignoring the gruff complaints of the man behind the steering wheel.

"Thank you!" Jasper shouted as the cab pulled away from the estate.

In the quiet of the cab ride he raised his eyes to the heavenly blue sky and whispered the same in a quiet prayer, "Thank you...for her."

* * *

A/N: Finally, Jasper and Alice come a little closer to each other. They're still not on the same continent, but hearing the voice of the person they love certainly brings their hearts a little closer.

Thanks for reading an let me know what you think.

-First Blush

* * *

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 13**  
**

**Story reference:** Jasper lets out a low whistle upon seeing Seth's country home in Stroud, England

**Historical Significance:** It's rumored this farmhouse in Coberley, owned by Frederick Winterbotham, was a former training base for spies during the war.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)wiltsglosstandard(dot)co(dot)uk/news/4240497(dot)Fancy_eating_your_breakfast_where_WW2_spies_were_trained_/

* * *

**Story reference:** Jasper describes Seth's family estate as seemingly larger than ETOUSA

**Historical Significance:** ETOUSA was he headquarters for the European Theater of Operations in WWII. The photograph shows part of the headquarters buildings at 20 Grosvenor Square, London. In the picture, the ETOUSA Headquarters took up a city block.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)ibiblio(dot)org/hyperwar/USA/USA-E-Logistics1/img/USA-E-Logistics1-p17(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference:** Seth refers to Nanny as a bit of spare

**Historical Significance:** According to one British slang website this phrase refers to a sexually available person.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)peevish(dot)co(dot)uk/slang/b(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference:** Seth chides Jasper for calling a biscuit a cookie.

_**This link is just for fun**_, but apparently there is a huge distinction as evidenced by this article on the British reaction to Oreos being imported to the UK. (who knew?)

Can Oreo win over British biscuit lovers?

http:/news(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/2/hi/7376123(dot)stm


	14. Chapter 14 April 7, 1945 Easton, MD

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this proces_** I want to thank everyone who took the time to go back and review the last chapter after the ff . net fail, I really love the feedback :)

* * *

**April 7, 1945 Easton, Maryland**

"Goodbye," she whispered once more.

Alice couldn't hang up the phone until she heard the click on the other end of the line. Her fingers shook as she dropped the receiver and leaned forward until her forehead pressed against the wall. She stayed there for a minute, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. She wanted the sound of his voice in her ears never to fade away. But even as she replayed their conversation over and over, each time she felt as though she was losing a little piece of him. And _dammit_, it wasn't fair. A soft whimper fell from her lips as she slid down the wall and into a crumpled position on the floor. She was so angry at herself for acting like this. After that horrible day with Susan Clearwater, she swore to herself that she wouldn't weaken like this; she had Jasper's love to make her strong. _So why now_? she asked herself. _Why, after having the gift of his voice, should I cry?_ Alice tried to steady herself, but the tears came anyway.

After a few minutes of sitting with her head in her hands, Alice felt Bella's arms wrap tightly around her.

"Alice? What's wrong?"

Alice melted into her friend's embrace and cried even harder.

"I don't know. I should be so happy that he called, that I got a chance to hear his voice, but all I can think about is being selfish."

"Selfish how?" Bella asked, fearful that Alice would tell her that the relationship was finally becoming too much for her.

"I'm selfish because instead of being grateful, I'm angry. I'm angry he isn't here. I want him here, Bella. And I know he has a job to do, but part of me doesn't care. I want him to hold me and kiss me and tell me to my face that he loves me. More than in letters, I need to see it in his eyes."

"He loves you? He told you he loves you?"

At this Alice lifted her head from Bella's shoulder. A small smile played on her lips and she nodded.

"Oh Alice," Bella cried as she delicately lifted the tears from Alice's cheek. She was happy and sad for her friend all at the same time. "You'll get through this. I know you will. The waiting is the worst part, but he'll come home."

Bella's brown eyes bore into Alice's tear filled gaze. She nodded with confidence, willing Alice to believe her. Alice wanted nothing more than to trust Bella's words, but in truth no one knew for sure if Jasper would come home. No matter how much they both wanted it, Bella couldn't guarantee Jasper's safe return. Bella recognized the doubt in Alice's troubled eyes, but she wouldn't be dissuaded. She turned and placed her hands on Alice's cheeks, tilting her chin until their eyes met. Her glare burned into Alice's beautiful grey blue eyes.

"He will come home."

Alice took some comfort in the strength of Bella's conviction. After all she had been there. She knew Jasper and what he was capable of handling. Alice nodded at her friend and forced herself to offer a small smile of gratitude. Bella only pulled her into her arms and tightly hugged her in response. Alice lifted her arms to gently squeeze Bella in return and as she looked over Bella's shoulder, she saw her stocking feet crossed underneath her. The hem of Bella's trousers had ridden up from her awkward position enough for Alice to get her first clear view of Bella's injuries. Although she knew of Bella's burns, the stark evidence was more shocking than she could have imagined. Alice stiffened and Bella immediately pulled back in response.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Your legs—"

Bella immediately readjusted herself to better cover her scars.

"No," Alice called out, stilling Bella's hands at her sides. "Tell me what really happened."

"I was in a fire; it happened during an air raid."

Alice closed her eyes and shuddered at the pain that was evident in Bella's words. She knew how Bella struggled with the physical and emotional pain every day. She wanted to know more. She wanted to lighten Bella's burdens for her, but only one word of question made it past Alice's lips. "When?"

"Last June."

Alice's eyes grew wide and Bella nodded, acknowledging what Alice couldn't ask. "I was about seven months pregnant with Serena."

Alice pulled her friend close and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Alice began rubbing Bella's back just as she'd done when they were younger. Alice had always tried to comfort Bella when she missed her mother. Now, Alice wasn't sure if she was comforting Bella or if she just needed to touch Bella in an effort to console herself. The thought of losing her and Serena and Edward just added more to the emotional turmoil of the day.

"Bella?"

Both women looked up from their embrace to see Edward holding Serena. His face was drawn and concerned.

"Are you okay? Are you hurting, love?"

Edward looked down upon his bleary eyed wife and her best friend lying in a crumple on the floor. The all too familiar ache suddenly speared him at the site of both women in tears. He shifted his tiny daughter to his shoulder and crouched down before the women.

"Bella?" he asked again. "Are you all right? Alice?"

Both Alice and Bella nodded bleakly, doing their best to wipe away the evidence of their distress. Edward handed Serena to Alice and quickly lifted his wife into his arms. Edward took Bella to the living room to lie down while Alice listened to her little niece coo and babble at her. With little Serena in her arms Alice found it nearly impossible to keep the smile from spreading across her cheeks. She kissed Serena softly then decided her _drooly_ lips meant it was time to get her something to eat. A few moments later Edward followed Alice into the kitchen to save her from her wiggling niece. She was growing frustrated over her inability to feed mashed bananas to a squirming eight month old. Edward tried not to laugh as he offered Alice his assistance.

"Need a partner in crime?" he asked innocently.

Alice rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. She had a mind to coat his dress shirt with the sticky bananas that clung to the back of her hand.

Edward picked up Serena and placed her on his lap, providing Alice with two free hands to hold the dish out of Serena's reach in order to proffer a new spoonful in the direction of her babbling mouth.

"How do you guys manage to do this alone?" Alice asked in wonder. "The baby bottles were so much easier than food." Alice laughed as she watched Serena emit almost as much food as went in, in the first place. "It's like she doesn't know what to do with her tongue." Alice laughed again as her tiny niece lolled her tongue in a disjointed circle.

"She's learning," Edward replied. "This is really only the second time she's had anything this solid to eat."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, Aunt Alice."

Alice straightened her shoulders and puffed out her chest with pride.

"She's going to learn a lot from you," Edward added.

Alice scrunched up her eyebrows then laughed at Edward's meaning. "You mean she's going to learn how to act and dress like a girl from me. Her mother doesn't do much for her in that respect."

Edward shook his head. "No, that's not what I mean, although I do notice that Serena wears a lot more dresses when you're around. What I meant was that she's going to learn patience from you. Her mother has none and I'm not much better. But you, you know what's worth waiting for even if it takes a long time to get here."

Alice dropped the spoon that she was offering to Serena, who screeched and pounded her fat little hands against the table in protest.

"Here, here," Alice replied quickly. "I'm sorry. You are obviously the most important little person in this room."

"You're contradicting my idea of you teaching her patience, Alice."

Alice laughed. "You're right, you're right. You hold her and I'll just sit here and stare while she reaches for this bowl," Alice added with a sly grin.

Alice sat back and folded her arms across her chest to enjoy the show.

"Alice," Edward warned as his daughter's outstretched hands came precariously close to the edge of the dessert bowl.

"All right, all right," Alice acquiesced. "You know, you're actually right. You don't have a lot of patience."

Alice picked up the bowl and scooped up another small helping for Serena.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"What's there to say?" Alice shrugged.

Edward wouldn't be put off quite so easily. He just stared at Alice with his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"What do you want me to say, Edward? I want to say that it was an amazing gift to hear his voice. I want to say that I'm over the moon at this very moment, but I also want the war to be over now, so he can come home. The really weak part of me wants to say he's already done his part and that it's time to let someone else finish the job."

Edward looked down. "You mean like I did," he said softly.

Alice's eyes grew wide. "Oh, Edward I didn't mean that. I've never, ever thought that. I know you were hurt too and they let you come home because of it."

"I could have stayed. I'm sure of it," Edward whispered. "I think it was Colonel Swan's influence that brought me home."

"Colonel Swan? Bella's father?"

"Yes." Edward nodded.

"But how—?" Alice began, wondering how Charlie could have had any influence on Edward's discharge.

"He was my commanding officer...Bella's too."

"Holy—"

Alice clasped her hand over her mouth before what she was really thinking spilled out of it.

"You mean Bella worked for her dad?"

Alice couldn't help the giggle of irony that escaped her. She recalled with perfect clarity some of the knock down drag out fights between the pair right before Charlie had left for Europe.

"I don't know the whole story, but I do know that Colonel Swan wanted to send her home right away. He should have, but Bella convinced him to allow her to stay."

Edward shuddered as he recalled the night Bella told him the truth about her father. The words would forever be burned into his memory.

"She said the only way she could convince him was to remind him that no single life was more important than winning the war…even her own. He must have put that aside when he discharged me," Edward added morosely.

"Or maybe he just realized that neither of you could go through that separation again and come out whole on the other side. It's obvious you both sacrificed so much for this war. Charlie just drew the line for you."

Edward just shrugged his shoulders not quite sure if Alice was right or not.

"Edward, tell me something. Would you have stayed if Charlie didn't use his influence?"

Edward's mouth twisted up in a look of pain, as he considered putting Bella on that boat to New York without him. She would be alone...again. The thought lanced him as if a spear had been shoved directly into his heart. He looked into Alice's grey blue eyes and answered truthfully.

"I can't think about that, Alice; it hurts too much. What's done is done; I couldn't go back even if I wanted to."

With sad eyes, Alice looked at Edward, wanting to take away his pain. In the last six months, she had come to care for him almost as much as she cared for Bella. His devotion to her friend, to keeping her safe and happy, placed Edward on a pretty high pedestal in Alice's eyes. She reached across the table and placed her hand over Edward's. He stiffened under her touch and finally lifted his green eyes to meet hers.

"Edward, looking back on it now, was there any other reason for Charlie to send you home? He's a fair man, but knowing him as I do, I'm sure there were more than just family influences weighing on his decision."

The answer immediately appeared in Edward's mind. The horrible images of his last night in London were filtering across his vision like images on a movie screen. He nodded slowly but couldn't say any more. The grave look on his face gave Alice her answer. She only caught a small glimpse of it today when her friend met her in the grocers. The thought frightened Alice. For whatever it was they had encountered in London, they were still hiding from today. A stab of pain struck Alice as the reality of the situation finally broke through the filters that had been protecting her mind.

"Jasper."

Alice barely got the word out as the panic started to set like ice freezing her beating heart. She stood and grasped the thin fabric of Edward's dress shirt. She looked up with wide eyes at him, begging him for these words not to be true.

"Jasper works for him too, doesn't he?"

Alice was shaking her head no as two tears fell from the corners of her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. She didn't know if she could handle him being in that kind of danger. It was one thing when she thought of him as a soldier marching among and protected by the masses, but now the idea of him being involved in secret dangerous work...

Edward tried to steady Alice. He wanted nothing more than to alleviate her fears, but he couldn't. This was what they were. This was the life they'd signed up for; this was what Jasper said he wanted when they'd first met.

_"So eager to get yourself killed?"_ Edward recalled asking Jasper on that cool day in September.

"Bella joined the OSS here in Baltimore," Alice finally realized. "That's how she found Charlie. That's how she found you!" Alice whispered, but her voice was edging near panic. She lifted the palm of her hand to her forehead as the realization struck her. "That's it, that's why Charlie sent you home. That's why you're hiding. Something went wrong, didn't it? And now Jasper's there alone to finish it."

Alice's knees buckled as the force of her words truly hit her. This was too much for her to handle all at once. Her perfect ideal was suddenly shattered. The love of her life was in more danger than she could have imagined. Edward's strong arms caught Alice just before she crumpled to the ground. He turned and sat her in his chair then knelt before her and took her hands in his.

"He's not alone, Alice. They would never send him out alone."

Alice's shaking hands clenched beneath Edward's hold. She tried to take some solace from Jasper's letters and his confidence in Alec as his partner. Alice nodded weakly at Edward, acknowledging the truth of his words.

"Jasper's young, but he's smart and talented. He wouldn't be in this role if Colonel Swan didn't have confidence in him. He's been well trained too. He'll be all right, Alice. You have to believe that. You have to believe in him. I can honestly say that that was what got Bella and me through it."

Alice stared with wide tearful eyes. She clung to Edward's words like a life preserver.

"Can you—?" Edward began.

He wanted to know if she could handle Jasper's role in the war. Instead he decided to be blunt.

"Will you still wait for him?"

Edward couldn't help but flinch at the idea of Bella leaving him because of his role in the war. Although he knew she was as irreversibly tied to it as he was, the same couldn't be said for Alice. She had a choice. She could walk away and find someone new, someone here who wasn't tangled in the dangers of the war. What Edward didn't realize was that Alice's choice had already been made. She'd been changed by Jasper's love, and for her there was no going back.

Alice closed her eyes, allowing more tears to trail down her cheeks. She now understood Bella's words to her on the front steps so many months ago. _"I would rather have loved and lost Edward in the war than lived and never known his heart." _The truth of those words painfully squeezed the ache in her chest. She had a life before Jasper, but it wasn't the kind of life she dreamed of having. And after having a glimpse of that life through his letters, nothing less than that life would suffice.

When Alice finally opened her eyes, she saw the bleary vision of Edward's concerned face staring back at her.

"I can't fathom being with anyone else, wanting anyone the way I want him. I have to believe he'll come home, that he'll return because he wants me as much as I want him."

"That will be enough," Alice whispered to herself. "That has to be enough."

* * *

_A/N: Alice now has her eyes wide open to the dangers of Jasper's work. This will be important as the next few months unfold._

Thanks for reading and reviewing, it really means a lot to hear from the folks who are enjoying this story.

Untill next week,

-First Blush

* * *

**The Long Way Home Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 14, April 6, 1945 Easton Maryland **  
**

**Story reference:** Alice remembers Bella joining the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) in Baltimore before she left for the war.

**Historical Significance:** The OSS was a predecessor to today's CIA. It was established by a Presidential military order issued by President Roosevelt on 13 June 1942, to collect and analyze strategic information required by the Joint Chiefs of Staff

**Source:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Office_of_Strategic_Services

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process._**


	15. Chapter 15 April 28, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process_**

The Long Way Home's Jasper has been nominated as a Best Jasper on the Sunflower Awards. My other story, The Last Breath has also been nominated. If you'd like to vote, here's the link: http : / thesunflowerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/nominations_21(dot)html Special thanks and hugs to whoever nominated me :)

* * *

**April 28, 1945**

Three weeks had passed since Edward held a crying Alice on the floor of her kitchen. In that time spring had finally announced its arrival in Easton. The evidence was staring back at Alice as she watched Cy's two boys pushing the mower around her front yard.

"Are they doing a good job for you, Miss Brandon?" a voice called out.

Cy beamed as he made his way to the edge of her driveway. Alice smiled indulgently at Cy's boys, who were beginning to argue over who was going to rake up the trimmings from the mower and who was going to start pulling the weeds that were sprouting in Alice's flower bed.

"Nathan, Michael," their father called as he hefted the heavy pack of mail on his shoulder. "You mind Miss Brandon and earn your wages."

Both boys immediately straightened up, startled by the surprise of hearing their father's booming voice.

"Yes, sir," they replied in quiet unison and set themselves back to work.

Alice looked away to stifle her laugh so as not degrade their father's authority. When she heard the scurrying of the boys' sneakers, she turned back to Cy but couldn't hide her smile.

"Thank you, Cy," she said demurely. "Although you don't have to be so rough on them, I'm sure I can keep them in line," she added with a wink.

"I know you can, but it does them good to know that their pop isn't far away and that he's keeping an eye trained on their work. It keeps them from slacking off in the sun," he added with a smirk of his own. "And speaking of earning one's wages, I best get back to that myself. Here's your mail, Miss Brandon," Cy added with a happy glint in his eye.

He nodded at Alice as he handed over the stack. Alice's eyes grew wide. She knew the subtle indication Cy was offering. She grabbed the stack and took off running for her front porch. Realizing how rude she was being, Alice turned back and waved at her friend.

"Thanks, Cy!"

Cy nodded once with a wide grin and then continued back on his route.

Alice flipped through the stack until she reached the treasure she was seeking. A squeak akin to an echo of glee escaped her lips. Alice tossed the rest of the mail on the small table between her two porch chairs and settled herself in the one closest to the door. There she would be able to keep an eye out for Cy's boys while she read. Alice lifted the corner of the envelope, forgoing her silver letter opener in frantic anticipation of Jasper's words. Two folded stacks of paper emerged from the envelope which Alice held down from the breeze with her ice filled glass of tea. Alice picked up the thin piece first and let out a loud shriek of laughter when she read Jasper's cutting remark about her lack of response to his request for a photograph. She rolled her eyes in amusement and decided she'd have to think long and hard about how best to return his bite with her own wit. With the single page returned to the safety of the envelope, Alice picked up the second stack. A small sip of paper fell from the pages and flew across the table in the light breeze. Alice slapped her hand down to trap the item between her palm and the cool glass. She caught just the briefest of glimpse at the item before it flittered away and disappeared beneath her palm. She knew without a doubt what Jasper had sent her, and the realization of seeing his image caused her to heart to drum in anticipation. With a shaking hand Alice lifted the photograph from the table. She swallowed hard before feeling her heart lurch inside her chest.

"Oh God, he's beautiful."

Alice traced the outline of Jasper's image, lightly touching the rise of his cheek bone, the curve of his jaw, and the swell of his full bottom lip. But it was the eyes, _his eyes_, staring back at her that she couldn't ignore. They pierced her with their intensity and the pooling desperate need to hold him, kiss him, touch him drove every other thought from her mind. Alice closed her eyes and imagined the weight of his chest pressed against hers and the feel of his hair sifting through her fingers. The gentle breeze that had wafted across the porch warmed Alice to where she could almost feel the weight of his breath against her skin. The speed of the wind strengthened around her, shifting leaves and ruffling the pages of Jasper's letter beneath her grasp. Alice opened her eyes to the beauty of her love's eyes staring back at her. A beautiful smile spread across her face and she puckered her lips to a small kiss. The tiny motion released her caress to the wind. It would have to do, until he stood before her flesh and blood and could press his lips to hers. Alice stayed still for many minutes, memorizing his face before finally breaking her gaze long enough to read his words.

_I love you. I've decided that all of my letters to you from now on will begin this way. _

The simple joy his words brought to her heart was more than she could have ever hoped for. This was what she was waiting for and despite how much she now feared for Jasper's safety, she wasn't about to run away from him. He was what she'd been searching for since the day she witnessed her grandparents dancing on that old kitchen floor.

Jasper's words were the glue she needed to keep her whole until he came home to her.

_As for that bat who tried to tear you down, remember who you are. You are your grandmother's daughter, loved and adored by a man who will always treat you as the gift that you are. So please allow me to remind you of what you have. You have a man who cannot live without you. _

Alice read on, smiling, grimacing, and laughing a bit at the words from her love. It was only when she reached his description of his photograph that she paused again to really look at his beautiful face. The realization struck her like a bat slamming against the force of a thrown ball. The mirage of his beauty shattered as she truly saw his youth staring back at her. The photograph was taken only two years ago.

"God, he's so young."

Alice lifted her palm to her forehead and then pulled it back to cover an eye. She shook her head as the stark evidence stared back at her. Alice's one un-obscured eye flitted back up the page and a single sentence from the second paragraph caught her attention.

_Before you try to contradict me, just remember who I am…impetuous, foolish, softhearted and loyal. I'm yours. Believe it. _

Alice dropped her hand and smiled. Even across an entire ocean, he seemed to know when and how to lift her spirits. The peaceful bubble of Jasper's letter was broken only moments later. It was just as she reached Jasper's description of his mother's perception and his newfound confidence in telling her of their love. She smiled softly and shook her head, but that would be as far as she could get with the letter. As her eyes lifted from the page, she saw her mother's maroon sedan stream slowly in her direction. Alice sighed and folded Jasper's letter, setting it and the envelope containing his beautiful image in the front pocket of her dress.

Moments later Alice set her glass of tea in the sink and reached into her ice box to pull out four slices of pound cake. She freed each slice from the waxed paper and set them on a pretty china plate to thaw. She then pulled a dish of fresh fruit and sour cream from the Frigidaire and opened her tin of coffee. She barely had the time to light the pilot and set the coffee pot to boil when her sister's loud voice boomed from the other side of the screen door.

"Al—ice," her sister called out in a sing song voice. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

Alice knew she couldn't hide from her family forever. She had made far too many excuses for her absences from Sunday family dinners. Ever since Bella announced her pregnancy, Alice was either in Cinnaminson with them over the weekends or they were here. Now that the school year was coming to an end, Alice would have to think of a new excuse other than collaborating on a statewide curriculum to allow her weekends free of family responsibilities.

Alice wiped her hands on a dishtowel and strode toward her front door. She quickly checked her appearance in the mirror above the breakfront and tried her best to smooth back the wisps of her hair that had been freed by the spring breeze.

Alice's sister, Cindy, waited impatiently by the door with her mother standing right behind her. Both were dressed in Sunday finery even though it was a simple Wednesday afternoon. Alice groaned, seeing their pearl handle purses and white gloves. They were the picture of demure perfection to which Alice herself had yet to conform. She released the latch on the door and invited both women into her home. Each one gave her a small peck on the cheek as they stepped inside. Cindy gave her a tight smile and squeezed her hand. At this Alice's heart dropped. The simple motion was a silent signal between the sisters as it had been for years. Something was up and now Alice knew with certainty that whatever was coming wouldn't be pleasant. Alice's mother lifted her gloved hand and gently caressed the line of Alice's jaw from just behind her ear to her chin.

"Hello, sweetheart," she called gently. "I've missed you," she added more quietly.

Alice's heart sank, for she missed her mother too. This version of her mother was the one that read her bedtime stories as a child and played silly games with her dollies. Alice, only wished this version would make an appearance more often.

"Come on in the kitchen," Alice invited as she motioned in the direction of the room at the back of the house. "The coffee should be ready in a minute."

Alice's mother smiled sweetly as the three women walked together toward the kitchen. Two were expecting doom; the third hoped her plan would provide her daughter with some much needed male attention. Their heels clicked loudly as they passed through the carpeted living room and into the dining before finally reaching the small kitchen. Cindy and her mother slid onto the padded bench behind the kitchen table while Alice set to work, finishing their light dessert. Mrs. Brandon smiled when she saw the neatly cut pieces of pound cake arranged daintily on the china. It was just as she had instructed Alice to do when she was a child.

_You never know when company might come over so always keep a pound cake wrapped in individual slices in your icebox for unexpected guests. And always, always place one more slice on the plate than the number of guest who arrive. This way anyone with a hearty appetite will feel welcomed to take a second slice. _

Alice was busy mixing powdered sugar with milk to add as a glace overtop of the slices. Unlike her mother she would dress the cake with fruit and drizzle the glaze on top. Her mother would rather place the unused slices back in the freezer, but Alice had no intention of allowing any unused dessert to go to waste. The boys outside would enjoy a sweet treat after their labors and half a slice apiece shouldn't spoil their supper.

"So, darling, how have you been?"

Her mother's voice broke Alice from the numbness of her tasks as hostess. So with a quiet sigh, Alice complied with her mother's desire for small talk. When three slices of the cake had been consumed and ample amounts of coffee poured, Alice's mother finally got down to the reason for her visit.

"You know, sweetheart, the annual June fete is coming around—"

But before Alice's mother could finish her sentence, a gleeful squeal from Cindy interrupted her.

"And mother has been chosen by the club ladies to organize the charity social!"

Alice painted a smile of excitement on her face, but her insides clenched anxiously. She knew before her mother even asked that she would want her support in organizing the event. The social was a dance, a_ formal_ dance, and Alice had been dragged to the event ever since she was old enough to wear heels and hose. Over the past three years, the formal event had been transformed into a scrap drive, a rubber drive, and a victory garden tour given the somber mood of the country.

"I don't understand; no drive for the war effort this year?"

Alice hoped beyond hope that her sister was mistaken and no formal dance would be required.

"Well, things seem to be very close to the end in Europe and the club consulted the mayor for advice, and well… What can I say, Alice? No, the war isn't over yet, but everyone is in need of a good reason to celebrate and, God willing, by June we'll have one."

All three women were silent for a moment. Alice had the biggest reason to hope for something to celebrate by June. She tried to be cheerful about her mother's social coup. The fete was a very prestigious event and organizing the first social held in three years would be a daunting task.

"That's wonderful, Mom. I know the ladies have put their confidence in the right woman when they chose you."

"Thank you, dear," Mrs. Brandon replied, placing a gentle hand on top of Alice's. "But it's going to be a lot of work." She paused tracing the diamond in her wedding ring. "Will you help me?"

And there they were, the words that Alice had feared.

"Mom," Alice breathed, closing her eyes. "I-I don't—"

But what could she say? Alice was caught between her duty to her mother and her best friend. Although her preference would be to completely avoid anything to do with the event, Alice knew her mother was counting on her help. She needed to tread lightly while truthfully with her mother. Amelia Brandon was nothing if not demanding when it came to her daughter's responsibilities. Shirking a duty would never be tolerated.

_Perhaps there's a way I can be truthful and responsible at the same time_, Alice mused.

"You don't what?" Alice's mother barked, interrupting Alice's thoughts. "You know how important this is to me, Mary Alice. I need your help."

_What you really think is that I need to be set up with a new courtier. You think I need to be married to be happy._

No matter how truthful Alice's thoughts were, she'd never disrespect her mother by saying them out loud.

"Mother," Alice began.

She straightened her shoulders to look her mother dead in the eye. She could almost feel the weight of Jasper's words burning a hole in her pocket. _Come on, 'ol girl, you have the backbone to stand up to your mama, right?_ Alice didn't appreciate his reference to her as an _'ol girl,_ but she knew he did it to get a rise out of her and at the moment, that's exactly what she needed.

"I won't be able to help you, Mother. I've already made a commitment and I won't go back on my word."

"What commitment? You've said that you were working on a curriculum or something on the weekends, but surely that's ending soon. The school year is almost over."

"It's not a teaching commitment, but it's related."

Alice needed to tread carefully to maintain some level of truthfulness.

"I've been introduced to a couple on my weekend trips who recently returned from London. They're old family friends of one of the teachers."

Alice was really stretching the truth to the limit here.

"The wife," Alice continued, "was badly burned in an air raid. Her legs—" Alice faltered. "Mother, her legs, the pain must have been excruciating."

Alice shut her eyes and willed away the agony of thinking of Bella burning.

"They've been back for a few months, but she recently found out that she's pregnant again an—"

"Again?" Cindy asked.

Alice nodded. "She was six months pregnant when she was in the air raid."

Both women gasped. "Dear Lord, that poor child," Amelia whispered.

"It's amazing she was able to survive at all, let alone bear a child."

"The child lived?" Amelia asked wide eyed.

"Yes, she's..." Alice paused to count the days. "She'll be nine months old this week. But as I was saying, they need help. It will be more difficult for the mother as the pregnancy progresses, and I promised to do my share to help. I've committed to go up on weekends to take care of the little girl while the mother rests."

"Alice," her mother began. "What about this girl's family?"

"Her mother died when she was a child and her father is still away at war."

Alice looked down at the linen napkin that she was now twisting in her grasp. The truth was becoming achingly familiar to another family her mother knew quite well and loved. Alice only hoped her mother wouldn't see the deception written between the truthful lines of the story.

"Alice, I was counting on your help," her mother sighed, "but duty to a family who has sacrificed so much for the war is a noble undertaking." Amelia turned to her younger daughter. "Maybe Renata could help?"

Cindy nodded eagerly; she'd be very happy to have her own childhood friend assist with the planning.

Amelia turned back to her daughter and laid a gentle hand on Alice's. "I just thought that through the planning you'd be introduced to some new people."

"You mean gentlemen," Alice quipped more harshly than was appropriate when speaking with one's mother.

"Yes, Mary Alice, _gentlemen_. Gentlemen who can call on you and maybe one day look after you."

"I don't need to be looked after. And I don't need any help in this area, Mother."

"Of course you don't. You've been sloughing off my efforts to help you for years," Amelia barked back, but her fire began to fade when she saw the hurt in her daughter's eyes. "Alice, is it so wrong for me to want this for you? I just want to see you happy, darling. Tell me you're truly happy and I'll let it go."

Alice looked down at the table. If it had been six months ago she would have told her mother that she didn't need a man to be happy, but now she only needed one man to be happy...Jasper Allan Whitlock.

"Perhaps," Amelia mused. "Perhaps Cindy and I could scout out the potentials for you..."

_"Mother!"_ Alice growled.

"What? Unless this couple you're helping has something better to offer, I think a meeting with a few well intentioned gentlemen won't do you any harm."

"I _do_ have a better offer."

Whatever Amelia Brandon had intended to offer next to convince her daughter to accept being called upon, it suddenly stuck in her throat. It was Cindy who unfroze from her wide eyed stare first.

"Alice," she called, too hopeful that her sister had finally found a gentleman to turn her head. "Alice have you met someone?"

The bubbled excitement was almost too much for Alice's sister to keep contained.

"Yes," Alice replied confidently. She could feel it in her bones. "The couple I mentioned to you earlier introduced us. I've been writing to him for some time now."

"And?" Although the question was rude, Cindy couldn't help herself.

Alice couldn't hold back the smile that appeared on her face when she thought of Jasper. Cindy squealed while Amelia took hold of her daughter's hand. She was happy but cautious.

"You said you've been writing?"

"Yes. He's in London."

"He's British?"

"No, Mother, he's American. He's just stationed there."

"He's a soldier, Alice?" Alice could almost hear the disappointment in her mother's voice.

"Yes, he's a brave soldier and a very good man," Alice replied pulling Jasper's letter from the pocket of her dress. Once again she felt the weight of Jasper's words encouraging her. _Why shouldn't happiness like this be shared? She'll be happy for me as I hope your family will be happy for you._ Alice took the love he offered her and wrapped it around her. Nothing her mother or sister could say would take away from what she felt for Jasper.

The edge of Jasper's photograph edged out from the corner of the envelope. Cindy's swift fingers pulled it out and seconds later she was gushing over Alice's handsome suitor.

"He's quite the catch, Alice."

"And you're quite married," Alice retorted pulling the photograph from her sister's hands. But Amelia was concerned with more practical things.

"He has a very youthful face," she offered, but there was a deeper inference behind her light words.

"He should, he's twenty but in the photograph he's only eighteen."

"Alice," her mother admonished.

Alice could already hear the regretful tone in her mother's sigh.

"Don't. I've already asked myself every question you're thinking. I've thought and worried and lamented. But he's true to me. He's gentle and sweet and funny. He's young in age but very old fashioned when it comes to respect and treating me like a lady. He pushes me to be stronger than I ever thought I could be. Truthfully, Mother, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Be happy for me, please."

Alice reached across the table to grasp her mother's hand. She stared into the older woman's eyes, beseeching her to have a little faith. Amelia smiled and nodded stiffly but reserved judgment for later. In her mind, actions would speak louder than words.

a**AAA**a

The following weekend Alice sat on the back porch of Bella's Cinnaminson home. The spring breeze ruffled the pages of the letter she was drafting to Jasper. As the pages and the waves of her dark brown hair floated in the breeze, Alice lifted her eyes from the paper to smile at her goddaughter, who was playing on a nearby blanket and examining the blades of grass at her feet. After watching Serena for a few more minutes, she turned her attention back to the witty retort she owed Jasper for his last letter.

_ May 5, 1945_

_Jasper,_

_I feel as though I would be remiss if I didn't inform you that I am winning this little battle of wills. In your last letter I counted no fewer than seven references to me as Alice vs. the mere three references of __Miss__ Alice. I will surmise that you don't like to lose so as a peace offering, I'm including the photograph you have beseeched of me._

_The very fair minded,_

_Alice_

Alice looked down at her image once more, hoping he would find her appealing. It was the last step in opening herself up to him. The photograph was taken a few years ago just before the last June social. There were others Alice considered, where she was smiling among family and friends, but Cindy pushed her to send this one. "_He wants to see you. He wants to know your lovely face, Alice. Trust me, this is the one."_ Alice sighed and tucked the photo in the page of the folded note and stuck it in the envelope to join her longer letter.

_May 5, 1945_

_My love,_

_The words fall as easily from my pen as they do from my lips. I love you too. What is difficult is to write how I felt when I heard those words call sweetly from your lips. I have never before been so happy and so sad at the same moment. How selfish of me to write this, but every time I receive a gift from you, be it your words, the image of your beautiful face, or the sound of your voice, I'm left longing for more._

_I had to laugh at your request for a dowry. No, darling, there won't be a dowry waiting for your arrival, only me. I'll come to you with only my schoolbooks and my tiny hands covered in blackboard chalk. Although I guess I could offer my jar of treasures to sweeten the pot. Then of course there's a lovely brooch I own, courtesy of the fine craftsmanship of our allies in London, and a drawer full of letters that are more valuable to me than the deed to my grandparents' home. _

_I've decided to indulge your ego a bit and tell you of how my sister swooned over your photograph. I sternly reminded her that she was a married woman and how lustful thoughts would result in her spending her Saturday afternoon in a confessional. I'm certain that neither my brother-in-law, Collin, nor Father Thomas would approve. But how can I fault her? Your stare pins me like a butterfly to a mount. I am willingly trapped beneath your gaze. I want to reach through the photograph and trace my fingers across your face. I want to will your eyes to soften and your lips to smile for me. "I am yours," I tell those eyes. I give myself to you. Love me back through your smile and I'll be yours forever. Oh, Jasper, we are so close. I can feel it every time I read your letters, and at times it frightens me. I know you don't want me to be afraid. I read your words and I trust you. I trust you will come home. Just as you should trust that I'll be waiting for you. _

_I've taken your advice and told my family about you. They are happy for me. No need to buy my mother another piece of china for her curio cabinet. Trust me she has plenty. I'd say she was cautiously optimistic about our relationship. Her reaction was as I'd expected. She was concerned that you are both young and far away. What I carefully reminded her was that I am old enough and wise enough to make my own choices. All I asked of her was to be happy for me. She is. She just worries. I guess as a mother, that's her job. My sister on the other hand was bubbling with enthusiasm. Although I wonder if it's shaded by her desire to ogle you in person rather than only your image in a photograph. She was the one who selected the photograph I've included. I wanted one of me smiling, but Cindy insisted that this was the one. I'll admit it was the only one close enough for you to really see my face. The others were farther away, with either friends or family or when I was quite young. The photograph was taken nearly three years ago. It was at our last June fete. That is a story in and of itself. Get comfortable, handsome, this will take a while. _

_Every June, Easton throws a rather large party for the socialites. It is cleverly disguised as a charity social, but in truth it is an opportunity for the leaders of industry, finance, manufacturing and the social elite to congratulate themselves while their wives rub noses and gush over each other's attire. There's dancing and alcohol (what good party would be one without it) and at the end of the night a lot of money is raised for a very worthy cause. I guess I'm being a bit of a snob myself by not allowing the wealthy to have their fun, but over the years I've found that a lot of the priming and preening is just for appearances. The partners in my father's firm have always been in attendance. My father was first invited in 1932 as one of their up and coming attorneys, and Cindy and I joined the fun as soon as we were old enough to fill out a girdle. Over the last three years, the social had been canceled in favor of war drives but with what we all pray is the nearing of the end, they've decided to host the dance this year. _

_Planning the event takes months of work and stress and as fortune would have it, my mother was chosen as this year's chair. To say that this is a social coup is an understatement. My mother has been vying for the role for years and to play hostess for the first event held in three years is quite an honor. I'm not a member of the ladies club, but even I know this to be fact. So earlier this week I was paid a visit by my mother and sister to share the happy news. What appeared as a social call between mother and daughters sipping coffee and eating cake around my kitchen table was actually a well conceived plot to engage me in their plans. Even though both my mother and my sister realize that pearl handle purses and white gloves are not exactly my style, they saw this as an opportunity to draw me into their clutches. I guess I shouldn't make them sound quite so sinister. In truth they are only looking out for me as family should. When my attempts to politely decline their request fell on deaf ears, I took the liberty of stretching the truth a bit to proverbially get them off my back. I informed them of my commitment to help a war family on the weekends. The young mother was badly burned in the war and caring for a young daughter while pregnant with her second child is proving to be a bit much for her to handle. By the way, Bella is expecting again. My mother applauded me for my act of selflessness and begrudgingly allowed me to escape the planning committee assignment. This, however, did not thwart all of my mother's plans. It seems as though she feels that local merchants, florists, caterers, and hall owners might make a suitable match for her eligible daughter. So with your words of wisdom at the forefront of my mind, "Come on, 'ol girl, you have the backbone to stand up to your mama, right?" (By the way, 'ol girl isn't the best descriptor to use when you're trying to woo your sweetheart from afar.) As I was saying, your interesting approach to encouragement, and my mother's plans to acquire new gentleman callers on my behalf, spurred me to reveal that I am no longer in need of her attempts at matchmaking. I am officially off the market. Spoken for, retained and agreeably chained to one Jasper Allan Whitlock, PFC. _

_This is where the story gets a little interesting. My mother, the pleasant but deceptively intelligent woman she is, politely asked if I would share some of your most recent letter with her. Mind you that I had not read the letter in its entirety and had no idea that you referenced behavior shocking enough to kill off the church's coffee clan. _

_Jasper, you are sitting down, right? _

_Okay, I confess, there's no need to panic. Alec, if Jasper has passed out and you're reading this in his place, please attempt to revive him. Oh, and thank you for keeping him safe for me. Jasper, honey, are you back? My mother only got as far as your references to "the bat" and Mrs. Clearwater being a fool when she whirled on me and began asking exactly what the bat had done to me. By the way, after reading the little she did of your letter and forcing me to explain the rest, you needn't worry about her affections. You are solidly accepted into the fold, and I'd say just a half step behind Collin. Don't worry, he's been working on garnering my mother's affections for years. You managed to acquire them in only one afternoon and four paragraphs of a letter. _

_My mother is not to be trifled with and it unnerved me when the story of Susan's venom didn't make her mad, it made her eerily calm. From experience, I can tell you this is not a good thing. My mother is nothing if not protective of us girls. I was a little concerned when Cindy called last night to tell me of their interesting day of committee work. Susan, who is a junior committee member to my mother, was pleasantly surprised when my mother brought a gift to the meeting. In front of all of the club ladies, my mother gave Susan a dream giver necklace. Where she found it I'll never know. Perhaps she made the whole thing up; I wouldn't put it past her. The necklace, adorned with beads and feathers, was a gift for Leah, who was standing at Susan's side. Cindy said that before Susan could take it, my mother turned and placed the necklace over Leah's head telling her to follow her dreams. She added it was advice she had given to me long ago and to look where it got me. Apparently Mother went about extolling my virtues as a teacher, friend, sister, and so on until she ended with a rather expectant, "Wouldn't you agree, Susan?" Cindy was howling when she got to that part of the story. All I can say is that my mother, for all of her faults, is always on my side._

_I took your advice in another area as well. I spoke with Edward. _

Alice lifted her eyes from the page and shook her head, wondering where to begin. Little Serena was now on her belly, sucking a thumb as her eyes continued to rise and fall in time with her heavy breaths. Alice crawled forward quietly to take a loose end of her blanket and lift it to cover her up. Alice lingered, running her fingers lightly through Serena's curls before returning to Jasper's letter.

_He told me what he could of their last night in London, of being attacked and of your struggle in the aftermath. He was purposefully light on the details but went on and on about how brave you were. How you had only a few months of experience under your belt before that night and how he couldn't have asked for any more of you. He said having you there was the reason they made it. I understand now how much that night weighs on you but please, don't take the burden of something you couldn't control on your shoulders. I assume that I'm not the first person to tell you this. I won't make light of it, that's not fair to you, but what I do ask is that you accept what you can control and move forward from what you cannot. Forgive yourself for being human, for making mistakes, and be grateful that you have another day to try again. _

_I am grateful for you, for your love, for your bravery, for your honesty, for your strength. I rely on all of these things to bring you safely home. I'm hopeful and so are you. I knew it after reading your very first letter. You showed your gratitude for Ria by giving those boys hope of feeding their family. It was a very kind and generous thing to do. It showed me that even when you're faced with the most frightening situation, you accept God's good graces when they come your way and make the most of what he's given you. I am so proud to say you are mine. I long for your kiss and to feel at home in your arms. So whether we are on one side of the country or another, my home will be wherever you are with me. _

_Remember always that wherever you are I love you and am waiting for you._

_Love,_

_Alice_

* * *

_The picture Jasper sends Alice can be found here_: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001e9p6 _ enjoy!_

A/N: The pound cake in the freezer was something my mother did when I was a kid, only hers was Sara Lee :) So, sneaky little Alice tries to pull one over on Jasper with her letter, we'll see if he takes the bait next week. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really enjoy reading all of the feedback.

Until next week,

-FirstBlush

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 15, April 27, 1945

**Story reference:**

**Historical Significance:**

**Source:**

Alice remembers how Easton's June fete had been canceled during the early war years in favor of scrap drives.

In 1942, the first scrap drives were organized giving frightened civilians something to do to help. Campaigns were organized to collect metal, rubber, kitchen fat, newspapers, rags, and so on.

http:/www(dot)straightdope(dot)com/columns/read/2395/were-wwii-scrap-drives-just-a-ploy-to-boost-morale

* * *

Alice's mother discusses the possibility of the war ending in Europe and the impact on the June social

By the end of April 1945 the war in Europe was coming to a close. Western Allies were discussing peace proposals offered by Himmler.

http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/apr45/f26apr45(dot)htm l

* * *

Amelia Brandon gives Leah a "dream giver" necklace.

In truth Alice's mom makes this up. Pohhatan Indians rarely wore jewelry unless they were in positions of privilege. Their trade with the settlers of Jamestown usually consisted of food stocks. Jewelry, when worn, consisted of shells, copper and fresh water pearls.

http:/www(dot)historyisfun(dot)org/visitus/documents/LivingwiththeIndians(dot)pdf

This design gave me the idea for Leah's necklace:

(dot)com/dream-giver-feather-necklace-p-5279(dot)html


	16. Chapter 16 May 9, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process_**

This is my favorite letter from Jasper of the entire story, _enjoy!_

* * *

**May 9, 1945**

_May 9, 1945_

_Dear Alice,_

_I crawled out of my bunk tonight unable to find sleep. Too many thoughts have been bouncing around in my head and I think the only way I can free them is to get them down on paper. I want to share them with you. I want to share everything with you. You are a calm breeze in the storms raging in my head. I know somehow you'll help me clear my mind and make sense of it all. _

_Yesterday, May 8__th__, was a triumphant day. We received word that Prime Minister Churchill declared the end of the war in Europe. Alice, it's hard to describe the emotions being felt over here. For the British it has been six long years of war. The bombing that terrorized them, destroyed their homes, their churches, and their schools has come to an end. We could hear the cheers from Trafalgar Square all the way down to our barracks. A few of the guys in our unit who'd been on leave yesterday said that folks kicked off their shoes and were dancing in the fountain. People who for years had walked with one ear tilted toward the sky listening for doodlebugs were laughing and cheering. They described crowds of people waving the Union Jack and Old Glory while lining the streets, the square, and the shops. Everyone in London wanted to hear the Prime Minister announce the great victory over Germany. Words never sounded so sweet or felt better being written from my hand. One of our greatest enemies has been defeated and today we can claim our share of both the recognition and the relief. _

_The celebrations of the day hit a little closer to home last night. Though the night was barely cool enough to require it, one of the men started a small bonfire in the common. We all quietly huddled together to share in the day's news. I want to say that I listened to it all with rapt attention, but in truth I but lost myself in the dance of the flames. Despite the rowdy cheers for President Truman, Mr. Churchill and the royal family, I felt a hollow guilt that unlike me, many of our fighting heroes were still too far from the raucous celebrations to hear them. One of the guys in our unit, Garrett Wilson, stood and looked around at the group of us. He thanked us one by one for keeping him alive long enough to see this victory. Then he flipped open his reading book, tore out five pages, and recited the names of friends who'd fallen before seeing this day. He passed his book to his left and one by one each man took a turn in honoring the dead. Names so common back home, in every nationality, every race, and religion poured out of us. Alec was sitting to my left, and when the book reached him he tore out a chapter. My God, Alice, a whole chapter. I struggle to comprehend the nightmares that keep him up at night. _

_Alec stepped forward to the fire, called out the name of the unit he belonged to in Africa, and then silently lit each page. He burned them, one by one, holding the paper as close to the flames as he could. The fire would lick at his fingertips before he'd finally dropped it and lifted the next. I hung my head in shame, Alice. I've never known loss like his, and I was too much of a coward to face him as he honored his fallen friends. When he finally sat down, he passed the book to me with a hollow look in his eyes. Even as I write this now, I feel the cool hand of death upon my shoulder and shudder at the idea of burning a page for any of the men I've loved enough to call my brothers. As the tattered book fell to my hands, I held the spine and read the title. How fitting that __The Grapes of Wrath__ served to honor our fallen, for it was the lowly soldier, the average common man, who has won this war. It was those who served at the command of our leaders. It was those who bled and broke when told to push forward, to never stop, to never look back. _

_I tore a single page from the book and walked forward to the flames. I could feel the heat rise up against my fingertips as the page caught, but the rest of me was numb. I watched the thin paper succumb to the flame until it was no more than ash floating in the night's sky. I said nothing and turned to reclaim my spot next to Alec when Roberts spoke from the other side of the fire. "Who, Jasper?" he asked. I froze and closed my eyes. I didn't want to admit to my friends, my brothers, who I was mourning. The book had yet to be passed and my turn before the souls both living and dead would not be complete before I spoke. "For those I've killed to get here," I replied. For at that moment I could not escape the cold, dead eyes of the life I'd taken to keep our dreams of freedom and victory alive. His life ended; his blood had been spilled by my hand. I'd do it again. By God, Alice, I'd do it again if I had to because killing our enemy, our traitors, was the only way to end this hell of war. And yet, I'm still a man, flesh and blood and God fearing. I can only pray for the soul of the man who died by my hand. In turn I pray for my own soul, so that someday when I go before God he can forgive me for the blood I've spilled. _

_The men around the fire said nothing but many heads lowered as I returned to my station. We all knew the sorrow of men taken from this world before their time. None of us are God. Only He has the power to do that, enemy or not. So for the brief moment that befell us all, a quiet prayer of forgiveness went out as I passed along the book. _

_I watched it as it passed from hand to hand shrinking in thickness as it went. The novel, nearly five hundred pages in all, was a shell of its former image when it was finally returned to Garrett. He lifted it once more asking that all the sins of the war be forgiven and then tossed it to the flames. May we all be forgiven, Alice. _

_Though it is a reward I've neither earned nor deserve, I pray God will take pity on me and release me to the peaceful forgiveness of your arms. I need that or at least the dream of it to help me sleep tonight. I will not write of this again, Alice. I can't. I have to let it go or I know it will eat me alive. Instead I need to close my eyes and dream of peace for this world. I'll dream of the peace I know I'll find when I wrap you in my arms and hear you say you love me. That peaceful day can't come soon enough._

_Keep me, and all who have fallen, in your prayers, my love,_

_Jasper_

j~JJJ~j

Two weeks later Jasper found himself sitting on his bunk staring blankly at the photograph in his left hand while the accompanying letter shook in his right.

"Jasper, you've been sitting there, frozen as stiff as a board for the last five minutes. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Jasper swallowed hard, hearing words buzzing around him but was too stunned by the beauty he held in his hand to pay any attention. Alice had finally succumbed to his request and sent him a photograph of herself. The draw of her flawless face and beautiful dark waves was only surpassed by the lure of full, curving lips. They drew Jasper's eyes like a moth to a flame.

_To touch those lips, to feel her warm breaths on my cheek, my mouth, my —_

"Jasper," Alec called again, breaking him from his reverie.

By this time Alec had rolled to his feet. The copy of the _London Times_ he'd been reading was tossed aside as he searched for signs of life in his young partner. Although he didn't believe a photograph sent across the ocean would bring horrible news, he worried that maybe there had been a fire or some other disaster at Jasper's family's farm and the photograph reflected the damage. When his second call went unanswered, Alec stood and moved across the small divide that separated the men's bunks. He laid a gentle hand on Jasper's shoulder, starting the private from his inner thoughts.

"Something wrong?" Alec asked with concern etched in across the lines of his face.

Jasper swallowed again and lifted the image in his hand for Alec to see for himself. One whispered word escaped Jasper's mouth as his trance like gaze saw past the image.

"Alice."

Alec wrinkled his brow, wondering what the hell was going on until he looked at the proffered photograph before him. There, pinched between Jasper's fingers, was the image of his sweetheart. There was a lot of skin showing, _a lot_ of skin, Alec thought. More skin than he would ever feel comfortable with Jane sending across the ocean. Alec tried to turn his eyes from the beauty but found himself drawn to her gaze. There was something almost sad there, perhaps it was loneliness, but she definitely had an air of quiet beauty about her. Alec finally broke his stare and with all honesty replied to Jasper.

"She's a beauty, Jasper." Then before he could stop himself he added. "How the hell is she still available?"

"She's not," Jasper replied; his trance seemed to have finally broken. "She's mine."

Alec laughed, happy to see the slight air of possessiveness engulf his friend. He no longer seemed to fear Alice's rejection. His confidence meant he would fight for her and that brought a smirk to Alec's face.

"Yours, huh?"

Jasper tightened his jaw and plucked the photograph from Alec's grubby hands. Jasper almost felt he dishonored his girl by allowing another man to hold her image.

"Yes, mine."

"And how the hell did you get a looker like her to fall for you?" Alec quipped.

Jasper read the mischievous grin on Alec's face for what it was. He saw his friend was happy for him but trying to get a rise out of him all the same.

"My charm holds no bounds. My wit beguiles her and my youthful good looks were too much for her to ignore," Jasper answered, bowing forward with a graceful sweep of his hand.

"Apparently she can wade through horse shit as well. A skill I'm confident will come in handy on your farm."

"Shut it, asshole." Jasper laughed as he flopped back down on his bunk to read the rest of Alice's letter.

He pulled the thicker stack of pages out and held Alice's photograph with his thumb as he read. After every few lines, his eyes would drift from her written word to the beautiful image of her. Jasper tapped the handkerchief that was pinned to the inside of his shirt and with a grin plastered across his face he continued to read. The grin lasted for about three minutes until he reached the end of the first page. Then his heart nearly stopped as he read Alice's words for the third time.

"Oh shit," he called out as he sat up ramrod straight. "Oh, shit," he called out again as his hand flew up to his forehead and his feet planted on the barracks floor. "OH, SHIT!"

This time the hand clutching Alice's letter flew out as he began to pace the small space between the bunks. He nearly clocked Alec in the nose when he made his last turn.

_Godamnit, can't this kid give me a moment of peace without the melodrama of a fifteen year old girl?_ Alec groused.

It was only when Jasper's face went white that Alec truly grew concerned. He stood and placed his hands on Jasper's shoulders to halt the frantic pacing. He spoke slowly, searching Jasper's eyes.

"What. Happened?"

"Alice let her mother read my last letter."

Alec's brow furrowed and his shoulders hunched as he wondered what was so wrong with that.

"So?"

"Alice hadn't read the entire letter before her mother asked for it and there was... There was a private moment alluded to, and now… Oh, Lord, I'm never going to be able to face her mother?"

When the realization of what Jasper was really saying hit him, Alec couldn't' believe how stupid his young partner had been.

"You what? Why on God's earth would you write about something like that, you idiot?"

Alec imagined the embarrassment of Alice's mother reading something torrid and blanched at the idea of his own mother-in-law coming across a distasteful passage written by his own hand. Alec didn't realize that Jasper's words were hardly what anyone would consider torrid, a little mischievous perhaps, but certainly not graphic. He would never disrespect Alice in that way.

"Sweet Jesus, you fool. What else does she say?"

Alec laid his hand over his jaw, tracing the line of his afternoon stubble as he tried to figure a way to get Jasper out of this mess. Maybe Jane would have an idea…but the idea of raising the subject, even to his own loving wife, seemed disgraceful.

"It's for you," Jasper called out in confusion. "She's writing to you."

"What?"

"I swear, I'm going to skin her alive." Jasper sneered. "I'm gonna wring her skinny little neck. I'm...I'm gonna," Jasper stuttered as he threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

Alec just stared at him blankly until Jasper finally stopped pacing long enough to read Alice's words back to him.

"_Okay, I confess, there's no need to panic," _Jasper huffed sarcastically._ "Alec, if Jasper has passed out and you're reading this in his place, please attempt to revive him. Oh, and thank you for keeping him safe for me. Jasper, honey, are you back? My mother only got as far as your references to "the bat" and Mrs. Clearwater being a fool when she whirled on me and began asking exactly what the bat had done to me. By the way, after reading the little she did of your letter and forcing me to explain the rest, you needn't worry about her affections. You are solidly accepted into the fold."_

"She was pulling your leg?" Alec asked incredulously.

Jasper could only nod. He was still fuming at Alice's ruse. He could almost hear her snickered "gotcha" calling across the ocean waves.

Alec doubled over. He was laughing so hard it brought tears to his eyes. Jasper tried to scowl at him but now that he realized there was nothing to really worry about, he allowed a tiny smirk to creep up the right side of his face.

"She's perfect for you, Jasper." Alec roared again in laughter. "Don't ever let that one go."

_No intention of it, my friend. No intention._

j~JJJ~j

The following morning's chow line brought with it some interesting news. Roberts held out a copy of the _London Times_ for the rest of the men in the unit to see. Despite all of the celebrations over VE day, others around the rest of the world were still neck deep in war.

Alec leaned over Roberts' shoulder to read the headline aloud.

"The _Sydney Morning Herald _asks_, __**'**_**Since when has it been customary to celebrate victory halfway through a contest?'**"

Alec looked across the table to Jasper's tired blue eyes. His unspoken words acknowledged what every man around the table already knew. The celebrations heard earlier in the month were now tempered by the realization that there was still a lot of war left to fight. Each man wondered if they'd be sent off to help their brothers in the Pacific continue the battle for peace.

After the routine of the morning drills was over, Jasper sat down at the rickety desk in his bunk while Alec thumbed through some magazines. Neither man wanted to admit it but the peace was almost more unnerving than the war. They knew their role, how to act, when to strike, but now the peace left everything up in the air. They didn't know whether to prepare for the tranquility offered by a trip home or the turmoil of a new fight in a new land. As he'd done many times over the last six months, Jasper found solace in writing to his girl.

_May 10, 1945_

_Dear Alice,_

_I love you. _

_I must admit you have won our battle of wills, but I am holding the spoil of war. Thank you for sending me your photograph. You are so beautiful you take my breath away. I dare not show your image to the men in my unit, lest they try to sweep you out from underneath me. Fear not, my beauty, I shall battle valiantly to keep your image safe and close to my heart. (See, I can be as brave as Perseus when so inspired.)_

_I'm afraid to put into words how I feel when I'm staring at your eyes, your lips, your beautiful face. I want to tell you all of the emotions your beauty inspires in me, but now I not only fear the response of the coffee clan but your own mother as well! Jeez Alice, is it not enough that I have to survive the war, that you tempt fate by stopping my heart with your letter? Although Alec didn't have to revive me, he certainly got a good laugh at my expense. That was not nice, Alice Brandon, not nice at all. Consider my debt for calling you "ol' gal" repaid in full. _

_After Alec finally stopped laughing, he affirmed that you are exactly the right woman for me. You're someone who can keep me on my toes, who isn't afraid to laugh at me, with me, and for me when I'm feeling too down to muster a smile myself. He's right. What better trait could possibly be had in a partner, a friend, a wife? I want the opportunity to earn your hand, Alice. The peace that will bring me home to secure that chance can't come soon enough. For now, I'll keep one eye on that future and the other on the task at hand, keeping the peace._

_Things are already changing here now that victory has been announced in Europe. For the first time since I arrived here, I can write you this letter by lamplight and stare out my window at the approaching twilight. The peace has relit the lights of the city and rendered our blackout shades unnecessary. All the same, so far the peace is as worrisome as the war. It sounds contrary, Alice, but true. As the days pass we wonder how peace will impact our missions, where we will be sent, where our footlockers will land next. This morning, one of the guys read a headline from a newspaper in Sydney, Australia. It asked why half the world was celebrating when the war wasn't over. They're right. The evidence is there in black and white. It makes you sit back and acknowledge that our entire world was at war. The enormity of it still baffles me because the truth is so striking. The job is only half done and until all of the guns are laid down, there is still work left for soldiers to do. I know you wonder where this will take me in my role to extend the peace. Alice, I can't tell you that. I wish I could, but I don't know it myself. I am, however, comforted by the knowledge that wherever I go, I will take part of you with me. Try not to worry, love. I know this is a difficult task, but take solace in the fact that we are closer to the end than we've ever been before. _

_So for a lighter topic, I thought I'd raise the issue of your sister's ogling eyes. _

A bright smile graced Jasper's face as he tried to figure the best way to use this information to his advantage. Yes, Alice's words stroked his ego, but no words would be sweeter to him than the knowledge of her own appreciation for his photograph.

_Let's see, should I be offended that she finds me appealing? No, certainly not. Should I feel emboldened that more than one Brandon sister is vying for my eye? Perhaps, but the fact of the matter remains that no one, not your sister, not the Princesses of England, not Andromeda herself could hold a candle to you. I've said it once but it bears repeating, you are lovelier than I can express._

_I am proud of you for telling your family about us and happy that my words spurred you into action. Part of me is thrilled that your mother has accepted me into the fold. The idea of being second best to Collin is unsettling. I don't like to lose, ever. I'll just have to make certain to put myself into her good graces. Hmmm, I think I have an idea, and it all centers around making you happy for the rest of your life. _

_Although your descriptions of would be suitors frustrates me, I had to laugh just a little at the description of your mother and sister trying to draw you into their clutches. You're right; you do make it sound sinister, but in my book it's downright evil! I realize that you are a desirable woman with an internal beauty that somehow surpasses her external grace and appeal. Ever thought of taking up hunting, archery or self-defense? I feel a strong desire to instruct you on the aspects of hand to hand combat so you'll be able to thwart such advances lest anyone come too close you for either of our liking. Perhaps you'll call on Edward for help in this area until I'm able to take on the task myself? I'm joking (sort of). The idea of you being pawed by an unwanted suitor makes me want to snap this pencil, if not the door to my barracks, in half. I'm protective of you, and as such, I certainly appreciate your mother's efforts to look after her young. I was glad to hear that she put the bat in her place. Your mother sounds like a force to be reckoned with, thus the additional incentive to remain in her good graces._

_I've read and re-read your words about my burdens and taking on more than was in my power to control. I'm trying, Alice. Each day I try for you. I'm grateful for you, Alice. You give me the strength I need each day. Please don't worry; I will come home to you. I will make you happy. I will wake up again tomorrow morning and try again. _

_I admit, I am taken back by how you see my photograph. To me, it was just a moment in time. The briefest flash before I hugged my parents' goodbye. Their warm embrace meant so much more than the time they asked of me to capture my image. My mother assures me, it was the reflection of her innocent boy before I left the security of her arms to become a warrior for Uncle Sam. When I looked at it, I didn't see myself as my mother's pride and joy or my father's son. I think my solemn stare is attributed to my longing for greatness. I was on the cusp of leaving for war, for proving my manhood, for taking my own fight to the enemy. In reality, I was a naive lad who didn't realize that greatness wasn't to be found in battle for blood. The greatest feelings I've known have come through writing to you. My greatest battle has been for your hand. It has taken more wit, warmth, and affection than I've ever thought I'd had in me. But that's what you do; you bring out the best of me. I've read your last words probably too many times to count, but each time I imagine your fingers pulling me through my photograph and pressing your lips to mine. You wouldn't need to wait for my smile to appear. It's already apparent on my face as I write. Since you vowed to love me forever if I softened my eyes and smiled for you, I'll go to bed happily tonight knowing that you have vowed to always be mine. _

_Until we are together, be strong for me, love._

_Yours Always,_

_Jasper_

_P.S. Please tell both Edward and Bella congratulations. I pray for Bella's health and that of the life growing within her. Oh, and tell little Serena not to worry, I plan on spoiling her so soundly she won't even notice when her new sibling gets all of the attention.__ ._

j~JJJ~j

Jasper had just enough time to place Alice's letter among the pile of outgoing mail before fall in the following morning. He was nearly the last to arrive as he lined up with the fellow men of his unit. Alec gave him an exasperated sigh before he took the final position standing exactly two inches from Jasper's left side.

Master Sergeant Gray bellowed out his welcome just as he had every morning since Jasper had arrived in London. This morning, however, he held a clipboard tightly in his left hand. The look on his face was odd, somewhat relieved, somewhat resigned. He took a few seconds to look each of us in the eye from his position at the point of our assembly.

Finally he pulled back his shoulders and called out in his loud, deep voice, "I have new orders for each man. Our mission has changed, and we move our focus from fighting a war in Europe to one of resolving the one in the Pacific. Our unit will be reassigned to where their skills and duties best serve the completion of that goal."

The warm morning sun cast a yellow glow over the master sergeant's face. He tightened his jaw, but the slight quiver in his voice betrayed his emotion.

"It has been an honor and a privilege to serve with you. I wish each of you well and Godspeed. The final confirmation of your orders will be delivered over the next few days. With that, here are your new assignments."

Jasper's mind began to whirl as the master sergeant started with the first man in the unit, standing the farthest from him. What did he want? He had to admit that he was struggling with the uncertainty of the peace, but did he want to go to Japan? The master sergeant's voice continued to boom as he called out the assignment of the next man in line.

"Private Hudson - 98th Infantry Division – Manila."

_Manila? The Philippines? _

Jasper barely had time to comprehend the change in climate, fighting tactics, and intelligence gathering before the master sergeant was barking the orders of the man next to him.

"Private Roberts - V Corps – Czechoslovakia."

Master Sergeant Grey stepped to his right and stared directly into Jasper's blue eyes. Jasper tried not to move or flinch despite his rapid heartbeat and the sweat pouring down his spine.

"Private Whitlock – 11th Hussars – Berlin."

_ Berlin? They're sending me to Berlin? _

Jasper couldn't believe he was going to have the opportunity to see the fall of the Nazi regime in person. Despite his best efforts, a small grin crept up on the side of his face. He'd get the chance to see all of the Allies take their rightful share of the victory over the jewel of Nazi Germany. He was still basking in the thrill of the opportunity presented to him when the master sergeant again stepped to his right and stood before Alec. Jasper's eyes were trained to stare straight ahead but for just a fraction of a second, they strayed to his partner before resuming their stoic stare at the sun filled courtyard before him.

"Corporal Browning," Gray said. He paused to look up into Alec's eyes. "They're sending you home."

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**A/N:** The photograph of Alice can be found here: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001ge18

I posted the photograph of Jasper from last week's chapter late, if you didn't see it, here's the link. http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001e9p6 _ enjoy!_

This chapter absolutely wrecked me. I expected to be able to write about the joy Jasper felt while partaking in the excitement of VE day. The more research of soldier's accounts I did, the more I came to realize that the majority were happy to see the end of the war in Europe but then they were solemn thinking about those who didn't make it to see the day. I also felt it difficult to write about an good, honest, God fearing man who didn't hold some remorse for the lives' he'd taken be it justified or not. This chapter lays Jasper bare to the bone. He admits his feelings of guilt to Alice and prays for forgiveness from her and from the higher power he believes in. He puts the last of his weaknesses on the shelf for Alice to see and hopes that she'll still love him in spite of it. We'll have to see how she takes the news.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-FirstBlush

P.S. Enchantedmind made a beautiful video for this story please go check it out and click the little like button to tell her how fantastic she is. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6653191/1/The_Long_Way_Home

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**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 13 May 9, 1945

**Story reference:** Jasper describes VE Day and the crowds in London

**Historical Significance:** Victory in Europe was announced in London by Prime Minister Winston Churchill at 3pm on May 8, 1945

**Source:** http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=W73yRqZ3y2g&NR=1

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**Story reference:** Jasper describes how Londoners walked with one ear toward the sky while torrents of bombs were launched toward the city.

**Historical Significance:** Doodlebug bombs (also called flying bombs) had very distinct engine that cut out right before it crashed to the ground, so long as you could hear the engine, you still had enough time to distance yourself from the falling bomb.

**Source:** http:/libertyladybook(dot)com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/v-1-cartoon-1944-1024x897(dot)jpg

http:/libertyladybook(dot)com/2010/11/16/the-guernsey-literary-and-potato-peel-pie-society/ (great book by the way)

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**Story reference:** Jasper's unit burns pages of The Grapes of Wrath in memory of their fallen friends who didn't live to see VE day

**Historical Significance:** The Grapes of Wrath was written in 1939 by John Steinbeck. The novel focuses on the Joads, a poor family of sharecroppers driven from their Oklahoma home by drought, economic hardship

**Source:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/The_Grapes_of_Wrath

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**Story reference:** Jasper's unit burns pages of The Grapes of Wrath in memory of their fallen friends who didn't live to see VE day

**Historical Significance:** Reactions to VE Day are mixed from the soldiers perspective both happy the war is over and sad for those who never lived to see it.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/history/worldwars/wwtwo/veday_germany_01(dot)shtml _

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**Story reference:** Alec reads the headline from an Australian newspaper to the men in the unit.

**Historical Significance:** Since when has it been customary to celebrate victory halfway through a contest?

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/history/worldwars/wwtwo/veday_germany_01(dot)shtml


	17. Chapter 17 June 14, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process_**

**A/N:** The photograph of Alice can be found here: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001ka57/ Not sure what's wrong with the ff site tonight. The links aren't working to the review replies. Please know that I truly appreciate the feedback everyone offers and that i'll reply when the site allows me.

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**June 14, 1945**

"I truly appreciate the call, Mrs. Scampton, really," Alice tried again as she delicately maneuvered herself to her front door.

Alice's neighbor was a lovely woman and a good person to call on whenever Alice was in need. This, however, in no way indicated that Alice was eager to repay Mrs. Scampton for her kindness by going on a date with her grandson.

"Alice, dear, Danny is a lovely boy. I know you remember him when you used to come over to visit Caroline. He's a brilliant man, nearly a professor at the University of Maryland. He's a fine catch."

Alice smiled and internally rolled her eyes. She was quite confident that Danny was a brilliant man. However, all she could think of when she heard his name was the nose picking boy who told her that being seven and whole was ten times better than her being only seven and a half. Her smile grew even wider as she imagined writing Jasper about this. Helen Scampton was the biggest blue hair of the bunch. She'd known Alice nearly all her life and had taken it upon her shoulders to look after Alice when she moved into her grandparents' home. This meant the occasional drop in for tea and the more and more frequent suggestions to consider Danny's offer for dinner and a movie. Alice wasn't sure who Helen was trying to persuade more, herself or Danny. They hadn't gotten along well as children. She couldn't imagine his feelings had changed much now that they were both adults.

"Oh, I'm certain he's a fine catch. He was always quite confident when we were growing up," Alice added with a trace of innocent sarcasm. "It's just, not..." Alice paused, looking for a delicate way to phrase what she was thinking. "Meant to be."

"Oh, Alice, I don't see why you'd say that. He's a bright boy with a good future ahead of him, and you, you're a lovely girl with a good head on your shoulders. You've managed to keep this place looking rather up to snuff all on your own."

There was a hint of an insult in that statement. Alice was sure it was unintentional, but she felt it all the same. She was just about to try once more to kindly escort Mrs. Scampton through the door when Cy came whistling up the porch steps. Alice could literally feel the sigh of relief roll off her shoulders.

"Afternoon, Miss Brandon, Mrs. Scampton," Cy greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Hello, Cy!" Alice replied almost too excitedly for her own good.

_Please, please save me._

Alice rolled her eyes heavenward, and Cy had to look into the pack on his shoulder to cover up the laugh rumbling in his chest.

"I have your mail right here, Mrs. Scampton," Cy offered from the other side of the screen door.

He took a step back from the doorway and extended his hand to Helen, forcing her to come out to accept the daily delivery. When Helen was distracted with the advertisement for Macy's, Cy reached into his sack once more and handed Alice her own stack. He threw Alice a small nod and a huge smile as he offered her the pile. Alice's eyes grew wide, recognizing Cy's discreet gesture.

"Well, I really must be going. Those centerpieces for the June social aren't going to make themselves," she said too quickly to mask her eagerness to delve into her mail stack.

Before Mrs. Scampton could turn and offer that it would be an excellent opportunity for her and Danny to get reacquainted, Alice swung the door shut, leaving a startled Helen and cackling Cy to fend for themselves.

"What's gotten into that girl?" Helen asked.

Cy only laughed louder. "I'm not exactly sure, Mrs. Scampton, but whatever it is, I certainly hope he continues to put that smile on her face."

Helen Scampton's mouth fell wide open, but Cy just scampered off the porch and down the sidewalk before the stunned woman could keep from swallowing a fly.

Alice moved away from her front door as quickly as her feet could carry her. She didn't want to linger and give her warm hearted but pushy neighbor any more inclination to extol the virtues of her unattached grandson. Avoiding Mrs. Scampton was only a fraction of her reason to escape. She held a new letter from Jasper tightly in her clasped hands. Pressing the thick envelope to her heart, Alice raced up the stairs to the reading desk beside her bed. For once the silver letter opener was in sight when she needed it. Alice freed the pages from the envelope, taking care to ensure that she didn't damage Jasper's letter in her haste to get to his words.

For the first time since they started writing, Alice found two distinct but nearly equal sized stacks of pages. She opened each, and upon recognizing the dates, she picked up the oldest stack first.

She expected to read more of Jasper's playful banter or at the very least a lot of excitement at the declaration of victory over the Germans. The newsreels she'd seen displayed happy, excited Londoners enjoying spring, romping around and showing their love for Mr. Churchill and the royals. Instead unease gripped Alice as she read his words.

_He can't sleep? Why can't he sleep? The war with Germany is over. He can come home now._

Sure enough, Jasper did describe the adulation of the victory, but Alice was disappointed that he hadn't been able to experience the cheering crowds of London first hand. What worried her most was why the announcement of victory would trouble Jasper enough to lose sleep. If anything he should be able to sleep like the dead now that the war was over. Alice quickly stopped that train of thought; she didn't like any reference to Jasper and death, even if it was only an expression.

She shook her head and moved on to the next paragraph. As she read of the silent memorial for his fallen friends, Alice couldn't fight the cold shiver that ran straight down her spine. Tears of guilt and sadness ran in tracks down her cheeks. When victory in Europe had been announced, Alice could only think of what it would mean for Jasper's return. Now, she ached to hold him and comfort him as he honored those who would never again set foot on US soil.

Alice's trembling hand covered her mouth as she read of the Alec's tribute to his fallen brothers. Bitter tears turned into sobs at the image of this man remembering names and faces in the light of those flames.

_My God, so much loss, how could Alec even begin to go on after such a thing? _

But it was Jasper's next words that struck like a knife to her heart.

_Even as I write this now, I feel the cool hand of death upon my shoulder and shudder at the idea of burning a page for any of the men I've loved enough to call my brothers. _

"Oh, Jasper," Alice cried.

She could feel the pain in the words he'd written bearing his soul. He was asking both her and his God for pardon. Alice took a few deep breaths to try to compose herself then lifted her pen to write words of comfort that her arms weren't long enough to provide. More tears fell down her cheeks as she acknowledged that for now her pen would have to be his source of comfort. Alice's whole heart ached for the man she loved. She needed to hold him and comfort him but instead settled for looking at the beautiful image of his face as she tried to ease the pain in his heart.

"How could you not be forgiven, Jasper?

_June 14, 1945_

_Dear Jasper,_

_I feel that deep in your heart you already know what I'm about to say, what I'm about to write, but I want you to read it anyway to remind yourself that you are a good soul. Above all else you need to know that I love you beyond all reason. You need to know you're allowed to forgive yourself as you are most certainly forgiven by me. I have little doubt, my love, that you're forgiven by God as well._

_My sweet love, my heart aches for you as I read the pain in your words. I want to hold you in my arms and whisper words of comfort to you as you lay your head against my chest. I'll wrap my arms around your shoulders and stroke your head until you fall asleep. I want to soothe your sadness and ease your pain. Although my arms are outstretched, they are still empty. My words will have to fill the void until distance no longer separates us. _

_I grieve for Alec's loss as I'm certain you do as well. I know your heart is heavy thinking of his turn before the fire. Jasper, do not hold any guilt for remaining in your place as Alec remembered his fallen friends. Each man grieves in his own way, and even though you couldn't comfort him then, my guess is that he didn't want you to anyway. The actions you describe tell me he needed those moments to himself. In turn, don't fault yourself for what has already passed, instead find a way to help Alec move forward. Find a way to help him now._

_Be grateful, my love, not ashamed that you don't have brothers to mourn. Don't doubt yourself either. For if you needed to you would have the strength. You would go on because your duty and honor command it. I know this with my whole heart, Jasper. I believe that God gives us only the burdens we are capable of carrying. I love you, and because of this I want your burdens to be light. But as for those that you must bear, I want to shoulder the burdens with you, right by your side. _

_The book Garrett offered to all of you was quite profound. __The Grapes of Wrath__ describes the struggle of every common man but just as not all men lost their livelihoods to the Dust Bowl, not all men must surrender their lives for this war. I'm selfish enough to know that I'm glad that it was not you who'd been slain in pursuit of victory. Be grateful, as I am, that your sacrifice has not required your life for I know without a doubt that my own spirit would be snuffed out right beside yours. Instead, I ask that you be proud of what you _have_ done. Yes, you need to grieve for those who have been lost, but also take pride in those lives that you most certainly have _saved_._

_I cry heavy tears as I read your words, aching over your pain, Jasper. It wounds me knowing you've given so much more than just your body to fight this war. I feel your sorrow and shame in the words you write but so does God. Take heart, my love, such sincere prayers for forgiveness will not go unanswered. As to your request to be released into the peaceful forgiveness of my arms, just know that I stand here with my arms open, waiting for you._

_I will do my best to love you, comfort you, and help you find forgiveness for yourself. Say your prayers and then let it go, Jasper. And if the darkness of fear and regret should call on you, remember my touch right over your heart. Then replace my fingertips with a healing kiss from my lips._

_You are always in my heart and in my prayers._

_Love always,_

_Alice_

Alice folded up the sheets of her letter and pressed her lips to the pages, sealing her wish for Jasper's peace with her lips.

Dinner that night wasn't more than tea and toast. Alice couldn't seem to stomach anything heavier as Jasper's letter continued to weigh heavily on her heart. It wasn't until later in the evening that she summoned the strength to read the second stack of pages he'd enclosed. She sighed in relief that the words he'd penned only a day after his first letter seemed to prove that not all of his humor had left him. Alice decided that her reply would be best served with a bit of humor and snark. She realized that he needed a playful push to put him back into focus. Mourning over things he couldn't change instead of focusing on the job at hand was dangerous. Alice wasn't about to allow that to happen. He needed to honor his promise to come home to her.

_I'm not letting you off that easily, Jasper Whitlock. You owe me a dance._

With newfound determination to bring him out of his depression, Alice picked up her pen and began to write.

_ June 14, 1945_

_ Dear Jasper,_

_I should feel ashamed of myself for putting you through a heart stopping moment with my last letter, but I can't in all honesty say I feel very remorseful. That would put my soul in jeopardy as I'd never pass through the confessional doors with absolution. Instead, I'll just smile demurely, my love, and remind you that this "ol' girl" thought you had it coming. _

Alice's eyes flashed with a hint of jealousy as she thought of her sister's ogling eyes. She smiled rather wickedly as she thought of another way to put a playful pull over on Jasper.

_You, my Jasper, are cockier than a strutting peacock. You'd do best to remember that my sister is very much taken already. Trust me on this; I held her train as she walked down the aisle. Her wandering eyes hold appreciation over your photograph, but nothing more. Only one Brandon sister seeks your affections and that one is beginning to wonder if your over inflated ego would ever fit through her front door. Luckily for you, your flattery softens my ire over your smug attempts to fan the flames of my jealousy. Perhaps I'll grease the door frame with lard before your arrival to help ease your gigantic opinion of yourself through my doorway. _

_Now what can I possibly say to your desire not to come in second to Collin on the list of men who hold my mother's affections? You are quite competitive, are you not? I must admit, my hopeless romantic, that making me happy for the rest of my days will certainly secure your place on my mother's top spot, and mine as well._

_I'd like to ease your mind a bit and tell you that my new self-defense classes are coming along swimmingly. Although I feel it's important to tell you that it is Bella, not Edward, who is my tutor. Under her guidance I now possess the ability to break a man's nose with one quick thrust. Be forewarned, love…that the decadent peach pie you described from your mother is now mine. Consider it recompense for this frustrating form of communication we must hold over an entire ocean. If you're lucky, I will share a small piece with you. If not, well, let's just hope your nose sets properly. All kidding at your expense aside, my love, I'm glad to know our future will not only be filled with love but with happiness, laughter and playful banter as well. _

_School is winding down for the year and my little fledglings are ready to leave the nest. It's a little sad but also quite satisfying at the same time. I'm looking forward to the long summer days and the opportunity to spruce up around the house before new fledglings come to settle in next fall. Oh, I can pass along some good news: Brady has been successful enough in his arithmetic to earn a seat in third grade next school year. I've congratulated him many times over and asked if there was any special treat he'd like to do to celebrate his solid B+ average. He looked at me with beautiful, soulful eyes and asked if he could meet the real live soldier who gave me the compass in my jar. It seems as though you have a young fan, Jasper. I smiled at Brady and told him that I'd see what I could do once you return home._

_As for your remarks of fighting valiantly to secure my photograph, just know that Perseus holds not one candle to you in my eyes. Like any romantic, I melt a little at the idea of you battling in my honor, but be assured that no one could sweep me away from you. Haven't we proven that to each other time and time again? I am yours, Jasper, smile and sleep well each night knowing that I dream of seeing your smile and feeling only your warm embrace. _

_Unfortunately, your request asking me not to worry has fallen on deaf ears. How is it possible for me not to wonder and worry for your safety? As for your footlocker and where it will land next, I'd most prefer it to rest soundly on U.S. soil. At the same time I begrudgingly acknowledge that the job of our soldiers is not yet complete, so I'll put my faith in God and in you that you'll land safely wherever you are needed. I too take comfort in the knowledge that the amount of time remaining that separates us is shorter than the time that has already passed between us._

Her heart fluttered as she read Jasper's letter once more. …_what better trait could possibly be had in a partner, a friend, a wife? _Alice had purposely chosen to reply to this part of Jasper's letter at the very end of her own. Jasper hadn't proposed in so many words, but his intentions were clear. Alice swallowed hard still pondering how best to answer him. Her mind drifted to the telephone downstairs and the advice she could garner from Bella and Cindy. She could easily imagine Bella's smug smile at the news of Jasper's unspoken proposal. Even though she wouldn't be able to see Bella's face, the self-congratulatory tone would be evident in her voice. Bella would most certainly start off by patting herself on the back for her matchmaking prowess.

Cindy, on the other hand, would be one hundred and eighty degrees from Bella's silent reverie. Alice cringed as she imagined Cindy's shrill scream of excitement. Cindy would immediately begin talking of flower bouquets and planning the design of Alice's wedding trousseau.

In the end Alice decided that neither woman's counsel would help and that she'd just have to hike up her britches and answer the letter herself, forgoing either call. She quickly decided that Jasper hadn't asked, so she couldn't accept. Alice's teeth rolled over the top of her pen as she contemplated her response. Her eyes drifted to Jasper's photograph which now sat framed at the edge of her desk. It would be so much easier for Alice to reply if she just imagined him here to listen to her answer.

Alice lifted the photograph and envisioned a smile that would lift the corners of his mouth.

"I'll be ready when you are, Jasper," Alice spoke to the beautiful eyes frozen in the frame.

He would smile wider in response and nod silently in reply. Alice lifted her one hand to trace the apple of his cheek while the other sought out his ghostly fingertips across the desk. His hand would be warm and strong as it surrounded hers and squeezed it tightly.

"You don't have to wait to earn my hand, Jasper," Alice sighed as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Your letters captured my heart long ago. Where my heart goes, my hand will follow."

The imagined action spurred Alice out of her daydream. She wrote down the words she'd just spoken out loud and then finished her letter with an earnest plea.

_I love you._

_ Be safe and come home to me._

_ Yours always,_

_Alice_

**aaAAaa**

"I don't understand this, Bella. Why would you sign up for this? Do you need money?" Alice whispered. "I can help."

Days after Alice sent her letter to Jasper she found herself sipping tea at Bella's kitchen table. She was cautiously watching Bella, eying her movements and examining her face for signs of tiredness or pain. What Alice hadn't been expecting was Bella telling her she'd decided to go to work down at the administration offices in Naval Yard.

"No, Alice, it isn't money. We're very comfortable. I appreciate the offer, but no, we don't need help."

"Then why!" Alice groaned. She was more than a bit exasperated by her friend. "If you don't need the money, why put yourself at even more risk? Why put your child at risk? I don't understand, why are you being so _selfish_?"

Bella's eyes grew wide at Alice's outburst.

"Don't look at me like you're offended," Alice spat. "Just because Edward won't tell you the truth doesn't mean I'm going to hold my tongue."

"Alice," Bella warned. "You don't know what you're talking about. You need to leave this alone."

But Alice wasn't about to be forestalled by her friend. If she had learned anything from Bella over the last several years, it was to stand up for what she believed in, right or wrong it was more respectable than rolling over.

"You're right, I don't know, so help me understand. Why do you need to work when you have a comfortable home and a good life? Why now, when you're with child and the doctor is expecting you to have a rough go with the pregnancy? You should be taking it easy, not working an eight-hour day and hopping trains to bring you home at night. Why would you do this? Why would you do it to Edward?"

Alice didn't need to elaborate. Bella knew exactly what Alice was implying. That she was selfish enough to make her husband worry while she left him every day.

"Alice," Bella whispered. "It's the only way I have to keep up with him..."

"With Edward, why would you need—?"

"Not Edward, with my _father_, Alice! I need to know. I haven't heard anything for months. Nothing! I need to know if he's okay and this is the only way I can get the information."

"You're not going to be a secretary are you?"

Bella just shook her head.

"Damn it, Bella! The risks are too high, especially right now."

"You're not saying anything Edward hasn't said already. This is who _I am_, Alice." Both women were silent for a moment. "Alice, I won't..." Bella paused again to censor herself. "I'll be in an office. I'll be in the same place every day. It won't go beyond that."

"(A), I'm not sure I believe you, and (b), that doesn't make me feel any better."

"Now, I know for certain that you and Edward share some telepathic powers." Bella laughed humorously. "I'll be fine, and if something changes I'll take a leave of absence. Just try to understand it from my perspective, Alice. I spent the last two years pretending he wasn't my father. I need to know he's okay. He's the only parent I have left."

Alice walked over and sat next to Bella, folding her arms across her chest. She was still trying to talk some sense into her friend.

"Bella, you just came home. You have a daughter and another little one on the way to worry about. I understand the waiting, and the worry, believe me."

"Oh, Alice," Bella's eyes grew wide at how insensitive she was being. Bella was spouting off about missing Charlie while her best friend was still longing to lay eyes upon the man who'd captured her heart. Bella dropped her head to Alice's shoulder and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, but I still wish you'd stay home and take care of yourself and your babies." Alice let out a sigh of frustration before turning to look her friend in the eye. "Deep down I know you're right, Bella. This is who you are, but promise me that when you're out there, you'll remember what you have waiting at home for you. They couldn't live without you, Bella." Alice lowered her voice to barely a whisper, and then she added. "Neither can I."

Bella's eyes burned into Alice's as she spoke. "I'll be careful, Alice, I promise." Bella placed her hand on Alice's arm emphasizing each word. "I have to do this, you know."

"I know," Alice replied patting Bella's thigh. She understood this side of Bella ever since she'd turned eighteen and decided to follow Charlie into the war. Alice knew Bella had to live her own life, she just hoped the risks Bella was taking would be worth it. "I don't like it, but I know."

**aaAAaa**

The last day of school in mid-June brought a sweltering heat wave down on the folks of Easton. Alice was more than happy to be closing up her classroom for the balance of the summer months. The tilt-in glass windows and rolled shades did little to block the afternoon heat that permeated her classroom. Alice paused from her chore of washing her blackboards one last time to wipe the sweat from her brow. She smiled appreciatively as her stare drifted down to the tiny glass memento Brady had brought to her at lunchtime. He (with some obvious adult assistance) had taken a large oval stone and covered it in plaster, then adorned the shape with sunken pieces of blue and green mason jar and soda bottle glass. The item, now heavier than a five pound sack of flour, would serve quite sufficiently as a paperweight on Alice's desk. Although passersby might wonder what in the world the clump was, to Alice it was a treasure symbolizing the green and slightly blue turtle shell that inspired Brady to open up to her. Alice was very pleased that the little guy had completed the year successfully and was moving on to third grade. With an eager hug and a nearly tearful wave, Alice said goodbye to her tiny pupil and wished him well over the summer.

When the last of the blackboards were clean and shiny, Alice set out to move all of the textbooks to the back of the children's coat closet for storage. Each book was checked for tears and errant marks before being placed on the stack and carefully covered in burlap. New textbooks would be few and far between, so Alice did her best to make sure these would last. Alice stood and stretched her aching shoulders and back once the last book had been repaired and secured. As she reached to close the closet's accordion doors a fluttering in the corner of her eye startled her. Alice whirled to see young Leah standing behind her with her hands clasped over a composition book held tightly to her chest.

For a moment, Leah's mouth fell slack before her eyes fell to the floor before her adult friend. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, Miss Brandon."

"Oh, that's alright, Leah. I was just cleaning up before leaving for the summer break. My mind was elsewhere. It's more my fault than yours."

What Alice was saying was true. She had let her mind wander during the task to thoughts of Jasper. Deep down she wondered if he would be home by the time she unwrapped these same schoolbooks for the start of the next school year.

Again, Leah looked down. She wasn't used to adults apologizing to her. She certainly didn't hear many coming out of any other mouth than her own. Startled by the realization that Miss Brandon was waiting on a response, Leah shifted the book in her arms, lifting the cover to retrieve a small square. She held the plain white envelope out to Alice.

"If you would be so kind, Miss Brandon, I would be most appreciative if you would pass this thank you note onto your mother for me."

Alice smiled and took the note from Leah's outstretched hand. The little girl's impeccable manners shone through her nervousness.

"I'd be happy to pass along your note, Leah."

Alice's brow furrowed as she wondered why the little girl had given the note to her. She could have easily passed the note onto her mother who saw Alice's mother at the nearly daily committee meetings for the June fete.

"I wear it every day," Leah added suddenly, bringing Alice back to the innocent face before her.

Leah pulled out the collar of her blouse to show Alice the feather and beaded necklace stowed beneath the shirt.

Alice smiled more brightly at Leah's affection for her mother's gift. "I'm sure my mother will be pleased."

This perked up Leah's face significantly and perhaps gave her the encouragement she needed to make a second gesture. This time when she shifted the book in her arms she brought out a brightly colored envelope with a rainbow, a butterfly and a heart colored on the front. The sincere look of gratitude on her face when she handed it over, melted Alice's heart.

"I wanted to say thank you to you too."

Realization dawned on Alice as she took the gesture of gratitude from Leah's tiny hand. Leah could have given the first thank you note to her mother, but if she had done that, she wouldn't have had that as an excuse to come visit her today. Alice knelt before the girl and placed her hands over Leah's arms.

"You're very welcome, Leah. I enjoyed our lessons together."

Leah smiled back, eager to share more good news with her adult friend.

"My father is picking me up today. He took the afternoon off and is taking me out for ice cream!"

Alice laughed. So, Judge Clearwater also had some influence on Leah's trip to see her today.

"I'm sure it is a well deserved treat, but don't spoil your supper," Alice added with a knowing grin.

"Yes, ma'am." Leah nodded sincerely.

"You have a good summer, and I'll see you in the fall," Alice added as she rose to her feet giving Leah a little wink.

"Yes, Miss Brandon," Leah replied automatically.

She couldn't help it, the response was engrained in her as deeply as her own dark hair. Leah looked up at the clock and noticed that it was nearing three thirty.

"My father will be here soon."

"All right, I'll walk you down to him."

Hand in hand, Leah and Alice walked to the threshold of the school's front doors. When the passenger in the large black sedan out front spied Alice and Leah, the back door opened to reveal a sweltering Judge Clearwater smiling brightly. He waved to Alice who released Leah's hand and waved back. Alice felt a tug on her skirt and she looked down to Leah.

"That's my dad," Leah called excitedly.

Alice laughed, realizing that Leah didn't know that they'd been previously introduced. Leah stepped forward to run to her father and made it all of two steps when she froze and turned back to Alice. A moment passed and a look of hesitation covered the little girl's features before she flew back at Alice and wrapped her arms tightly around Alice's small waist.

Leah buried her face in the folds of Alice's dress and whispered. "Miss Brandon?"

"Mmmmhhh?"

"Thanks."

Alice hugged the little girl back before Leah released her and tore off toward her waiting father. Both waived once more and then raced off in search of a cool summer treat.

After another hour of piddling around, Alice picked up her lunch pail and closed the door to her classroom for the three-month break. As the door swung closed the clang of the wood and glass echoed down the hall. The echo had a ring of finality since Alice was the last to leave the building for the night. In that moment Alice never imagined she was also closing the door on her teaching career at Easton elementary.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ A little foreboding in this chapter.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

-FirstBlush

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**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 17 June 14, 1945

**Story reference: **Alice is shocked when Bella announces her desire to continue in US intelligence by remaining active in the OSS.

**Historical Significance: **The secret "Philadelphia Plan" was designed to use OSS personnel to train the newly formed Coast Guard Auxiliary for antisabotage operations at East coast ports.

**Source: **https:/www(dot)cia(dot)gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intelligence/csi-publications/csi-studies/studies/vol-52-no-4/guardian-spies(dot)html


	18. Chapter 18 June 15, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ I want to thank my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process._**

The review reply function was down again this week. I tried to reply to reviews through PMs if you don't have those turned on, just know how much I appreciate the reviews and feedback ; ) (bluelove02)

_A/N: TLWH was featured as an Under the Radar Fic on the Twilight Awards dot com this week, the link to the review is on my profile page._**_  
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**June 15, 1945**

Alec sat with his back wedged up against the wall and his left leg bent to support the writing desk he'd perched against his thigh. He furrowed his brow in concentration as he scribbled his note to Jane. He wanted to make sure he got the thing out in the morning mail. With any luck, the note announcing his expected arrival time would precede his arrival at Edwards AFB.

Parts of the trip were bound to be long and boring, but he wasn't about to trade it for all the tea in China. When he closed his letter with love and affection for Jane and the boys, he finally looked up to see Jasper staring at him from his own bunk. Again, guilt poured through Alec's veins at being the lucky bastard who was being sent home. He stuffed the addressed envelope with his letter and set it on the small stand between the bunks.

"Ready?" Jasper called, reaching for the lamp between the beds.

"Yeah," Alec sighed.

The room darkened, and Alec threw his forearm over his eyes and tried to block out the guilt tearing up his gut. His thoughts drifted to Jane and his boys. What would they look like, would he even recognize them after three years? Would they even recognize him? Alec wondered and worried until a rustle of the bed sheets from the bunk across from his brought him out of his musings.

"Alec?" Jasper called

"Mmmmh?"

Jasper rolled again only this time to face in the direction of his partner. He'd purposely waited until lights out to have this conversation, knowing he wouldn't be able to do it face to face. Jasper hoped the veil of darkness would make him brave enough to submit his request.

"How are the nightmares?"

"What?" Alec asked, now fully present for the conversation.

Jasper ignored his question and quietly continued, "They seem to be better now that you know you're going home."

Alec let out a dejected sigh then propped up on an elbow before answering.

"I didn't...I didn't realize they were keeping you up."

"After seeing you at the bonfire...Jesus, Alec how could they not?"

Alec shook his head in the darkness. He'd tried so damn hard to keep those thoughts at bay, to not allow them to affect his missions with Jasper. Now, to learn that he'd been privy to them all along was devastating.

"I wouldn't wish it on anybody, Jasper. Not the nightmares, and certainly not the waking memories."

Alec swallowed hard and pulled in a deep breath. He hadn't spoken of the massacre since he had to debrief his commanding officers. Now, he felt as if he owed some explanation to the man who'd shared his pain for months, even if it was only from across the room.

"We were told to hold our positions along the Kasserine Pass. The Army was a lot less organized at the time. It was the first real action we'd seen in Africa since the U.S. had entered the war. We were spread out too thin. I didn't know shit about warfare, but even I could tell that. The pass was a strategic entry into Turkey and the balance of North Africa. If the Nazis could overtake us, they'd control the North African supply depots. I could see the value in holding the pass, but the formation of the infantry didn't make any sense. Back then it still felt like playing cowboys and Indians like when you were a kid."

Jasper nodded, remembering his naiveté from that first experience in real action. He went through it a year ago as he searched for Edward and Bella, hoping to find them and bring them in before the mole could reach them first.

"Rommel launched the attack in the middle of the night. We were out manned and out armed, held utterly defenseless by the Panzers. Though we were no match for their firepower, we held out as long as possible while our leaders tried to figure out what the hell to do. I'd never been so angry and scared shitless in all my life. When they finally gave the order to retreat, we ran like ants, scattering north back toward the supply bases in the western mountains. Our asses were licked by the flames from the falling tank shells. We landed in Sebitla and held off the Germans for nearly two days. It was a bloodbath, pure and simple. Men dropped like flies to the left and right of me. By the fourth day, the Germans pushed through our final defenses. To this day, I have no idea what got me here while so many others died around me. It had to be pure, dumb luck. Nothing else explains it."

Alec rubbed his hands over his face, hoping that confessing his inexplicable survival, he'd finally ease some of his guilt and free himself from some of the horrible memories.

"Those of us that were left were reassigned. I joined the U.S. II Corps. Eventually we beat the Nazi sons of bitches back through the pass and off the God damn continent, but the damage had been done. I lost my whole unit," Alec added despondently. "Three hundred were dead while six thousand lay injured."

Alec lost himself in the memory of the battles, of the shells and bodies dropping around him. His waking memories were almost more real and frightening than the nightmares. He could hear the screams and smell the char and blood. The only thing that settled him was the small scrap of fabric lying between his dog tags. He'd fished a button hole belonging to one of the _Kampfgruppe von Broich_ through the chain. He used it to remind himself of how they'd finally chased the remnants of Rommel's army into the Mediterranean Sea. Alec's fingers found their way beneath his shirt to stroke the cloth beneath his thumb.

"Alec," Jasper called, breaking his partner from his memories. "Don't write."

"What?"

"Don't write to me," Jasper replied, finally summoning the courage to tell Alec what was truly on his mind. "When you go home, go home in mind as well as in body. You don't need me dredging up those images when you should be concentrating on your wife and sons. Let the war go."

Alec sat up fully in his bunk, trying to figure out what the heck had gotten into Jasper's head. Wondering about his nightmares was one thing but believing he could just let this whole experience go was something else all together.

"What makes you think that leaving will magically make it all go away?" Alec waved his hands in the mock impersonation of a magician.

Jasper let out the breath he'd been holding. "Alec, I'm not naive enough to think it will all go away, but it doesn't need to be a constant reminder either. It will be better this wa—"

Now pissed off, Alec cut off Jasper's words before he could finish the utterly stupid point he was trying to make.

"You're completely full of shit if you think I'm not going to wonder where you are and worry about it. Letters or no letters."

"What's there to worry about?" Jasper snapped back, suddenly as defensive as Alec. "The war's over, right?"

"Don't be stupid, Jasper. We both know that there will be times where keeping the peace in the middle of Berlin will be more dangerous than the war ever was."

Jasper had to admit that Alec was right. Small towns in Germany could be filled with bitter and defeated German civilians who wouldn't think twice about taking one last shot at Allied soldiers, even if it meant their own lives.

"Thanksgiving," Jasper blurted out. It was the same date he'd given to Alice. "Just give me until Thanksgiving. If I'm not home by then, I'll write and let you know what's going on. Just give yourself this time to be nowhere else but with your family."

Alec rubbed his palms over his eye sockets trying to find a compromise that he could live with. As much as he hated to admit it, Jasper had a point. Reminders of the war wouldn't help him get re-acclimated to civilian life. Alec wanted that life again, so badly. He could practically taste the sweetness of Jane's lips upon his own. He hated the idea of sullying their reunion with memories of all of this. Although he knew it would be futile in the long run, for now the war needed to stay tucked away in a far back corner of his mind.

"I want a phone call the day your feet touch U.S. soil or a letter in my hand by Thanksgiving Day. Either way, I will hear from you by Thanksgiving. That's an order, private."

Alec never pulled rank on Jasper, never. They were partners and had worked as such for the months they'd been side by side. Jasper felt the weight of the agreement he was making and vowed to keep it. The solemn promise fell as heavily on his shoulders as the one he made to Alice, promising his return home.

"Yes, sir."

jj**JJ**jj

By late morning Jasper had been to breakfast and the mail clerk's office to check one more time for a new letter from Alice. Unfortunately he returned to his barracks both dejected and empty handed. He knew it was a long shot, but still he'd hoped to hear from her once more before he left London. He didn't have any idea how long it would take for her letters to reach him or for his to find their way to her hands. He sighed deeply and comforted himself with the fact that he would be in Berlin about a week before these last letters reached his parents and Alice. With any luck they wouldn't have to go very long without hearing from him. The weight of their worries weighed heavily on him. He checked his wristwatch noting he only had about a half hour to pen two letters before seeing Alec off. He tried very hard to only be happy for Alec, but the tentacles of envy sunk into each man who had yet to be granted leave for home.

_Envy doesn't do much besides sour a man_, Jasper thought, hearing the words of his father echo in his mind. With that he picked up his pen.

_June 29, 1945_

_Dear Ma and Dad,_

_I'm off to see a new part of the world today. London has grown too quiet and the lights at night too bright for my eyes. I'm more used to the peaceful quiet and the songs of the kingfisher back home. Yes ma'am, I'll stop being facetious now, but you know the point I'm trying to make. The war in Europe is over, but they've entrusted me with a new job of helping keep the peace. It's one I take seriously for the last thing I want is for little Sam and Jeremy to have to pick up the reins on a job I'd left unfinished. Try not to worry, although I know you will. I'll see a new land, meet new people and hopefully make the world a little better, a little safer along the way._

_My girl Alice is waiting for me too, so I promise not to dawdle on the path. I've made a promise to her to keep safe and get my tail home as soon as possible. I'll do my best not to disappoint. I know you're as eager to meet her as I am to see her myself. She makes me smile and laugh. She pushes my buttons, and her letters lift me up on my darkest days. What I'm saying is that as soon as I'm able, I'm going to ask for her hand. And if she'll have me, I'll make her my wife. She brings out the very best of me, and I can't imagine a happy life without her in it. Suffice it to say, you were right, Ma. You always are._

_Dad, the fence will have to wait one more season for its fix, but don't go asking Tommy McKever for help. You and I both know he's got a strong back but a lazy streak. He won't want to dig down far enough to set the posts right. We'll get after it together when I'm home._

_Give Emmie a kiss for me and tell Sam that I'll give the salute he requested to the Reichstag for him, no matter who sees it._

_I love you both and I'll write as soon as I'm settled._

_Your son,_

_Jasper _

Jasper checked his watch and quickly scrambled for a fresh sheet of paper.

_June 29, 1945_

_My Love,_

_I'm being deployed today. The guys tell me that the government is no longer censuring our letters so I'll share with you my deployment orders. I'm headed to Berlin with the 11__th__ Hussars. The Hussars are a British Armored Unit division who've been working to free POWs in Hamburg at the war's end. I'll be joining them as they head to Berlin to solidify the armistice agreement made by the Big Three at Yalta. We've also been tasked with rendering aid and ensuring the liberation of any POW camps we encounter along our route. I have no idea how many we will find, but it is this part of the mission that worries me the most. The stories and images of Jews held in Nazi concentration camps are horrifying beyond words. I'm fearful that imprisoned Allied servicemen have not fared much better. _

_In the end, I am grateful that they're sending me to Berlin. I want the opportunity to tell you and my family that we've solidified the peace and that war will not rear its ugly head again for the next generation. My nephews deserve an adulthood free of war, and I pray the same for whatever children God may one day give us. I want that future with you so much, Alice. I know this new path will be different from the one I've traveled thus far. There will be times when I'll be afraid, but my courage comes from thinking of you and knowing that you're waiting for me. Just know that I want to be home with you and I'll do whatever it takes to keep my promise. I'll come home to you soon._

_If there is any good news to report from all of this, it is that Alec is going home. He's being discharged and will hopefully be holding his wife and sons in his arms just two weeks from now. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I envy him a little, but I also know that no man in this unit deserves it more. His last months in London have been hard for him to bear. Please keep him in your thoughts and pray that he'll be able to return to Jane and his boys with a healed heart and mind. That's all any of us ever really ask for._

_Sweetheart, I can't say that I like that the physical distance between us is growing. It makes my stomach tangle in knots, but I also know that the path home to you cannot take shortcuts. Your safety and our future rely on making sure this never happens again. So although I feel anxious over this change, as always, I take comfort from you. Your letters give me hope, your handkerchief gives me comfort and your photo gives me heart. You follow me in my mind and in my heart wherever I go._

_Alice, I love you with my whole heart and even though you may not hear from me for a while, know that I am thinking of you always. Just continue to write me at this address in London. They'll forward my letters to my new unit once we reach Berlin. We're expected to land there in a few weeks, and I'm hopeful I'll have another letter from me in your hands a few weeks thereafter. _

_I bet you looked so lovely in your gown for the June fete. Please send me a photo so it may surpass all of my expectations and put to shame the meager images my mind has conjured. My arms long to hold you and hear the strings of my favorite tune play just for us. Until then, say nighty-night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me. While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me._

_Love you always,_

_Jasper_

Jasper quickly folded the pages and stuffed them in the addressed envelope. He checked his watch once more and sprang to his feet, retrieving the duffel bag which had been shoved up against the door. As he turned for the door handle, he peered out one last time over the open space of his barracks. Both his and Alec's mattresses had been rolled up, giving evidence to the stark emptiness that would remain in the room behind him. For such a brief period of time, this room held their lives, their laughter, and their quiet fears. Jasper's vision blurred as he remembered wrestling with Seth after losing one too many hands of poker. A ghostly pain stretched over the sore arm he obtained from Seth's left hook. The vision switched, and a grin spread across Jasper's face as he remembered Alec burying his face in his pillow to hold back his laughter. Their debauchery had caused the order for Roberts and the rest of the unit to clean the latrines while they remained tucked up in their bunks.

Would he miss it? No, but he would miss the men he loved enough to call his brothers. Even the scent of Colonel Swan's pipe and Master Sergeant Grey's curt Boston accent would be missed. Looking ahead to the task at hand, Jasper gave a silent nod of thanks to the room and those he'd shared it with. Then he squared his shoulders and pulled the door closed behind him.

The bright June sun hit Jasper's eyes temporarily blinding him as he flew through the barrack's outer doors. He didn't dare stop to shield his eyes; he was already running short on time. The letters in his hand needed to be mailed, but first he had to find Alec before hopping the transport truck to Portsmouth.

Once he rounded the corner that housed the barracks, he could see a line of transport trucks along Brook Street. Time was much shorter than he'd anticipated. With a nervous rush, Jasper pushed through the flock of men getting ready to board. His eyes searched blindly against the sea of green looking for the man whose hand he needed to shake once more in farewell.

The thunderous engines began roaring to life, drowning out the boisterous laughter of the men who climbed aboard their welcoming backs. These were the lucky bastards, the guys going home. They had finished their service and had hope follow their every step. Shouts of excitement mingled with the familiar sense of longing Jasper felt far too often to express. Simple things called him like homemade pies, civilian clothes, soft beds, and the welcoming arms of loved ones. For these men, they were now tangible expectations and not the smoke of fading memories.

Among all these faces and voices, Jasper searched for Alec. Truck after truck was being loaded with everything from footlockers and duffel bags to food and supplies. There they'd find the boats that would sail them home. A memory of shaking Edward's hand flashed before his eyes as Jasper remembered saying goodbye to Edward on the shores of Gourock nearly eight months ago. A new wave of melancholy crashed over him. He battled between longing for _his_ turn home and the duty that bound him to see his mission through.

The crank of another engine starting up brought Jasper back to the present. He picked up the pace, becoming more anxious as his eyes swept from one truck to the next. Faces both familiar and new flew into focus for just a moment before disappointment hit and he quickly moved forward. He tried to push down his panic, but it bubbled up and out into the words being shouted from his lips.

"ALEC...ALEC BROWNING!"

Jasper's voice was barely loud enough to be heard above the engines, loud voices and bellowing laughs were all fighting for dominance. Eventually the heavy pack on Jasper's shoulder could no longer go unnoticed. Jasper slowed, panting breathlessly as he approached the front of the truck line. He rested with his hands on his knees for only a moment before a loud horn startled him back upright. The loud honk was followed by two shorter beeps announcing the unit's call to departure.

"ALEC!" Jasper tried again.

He shut his eyes in defeat and pressed his hands to his eyes in frustration. He wanted to say goodbye, to wish Alec luck, but mostly he wanted to thank him. It was Alec's voice of calm that pulled him through many missions and anxious moments. He'd even had a hand (or two or three) in helping him court Alice.

"'Bout time you showed up."

A heavy hand fell on Jasper's shoulder, just as the words sounded in his ears. Jasper turned to see Alec smiling widely at him. It was the brightest he'd looked since the day he'd met him.

"Where the hell you been?"

"Finishing my letters to Alice and my folks." Jasper shrugged. "I wanted them to know I was being re-deployed."

Alec suddenly found the toe of his boot and the ground beneath his feet very interesting. He hated that he was the only man in the unit going home.

_We all deserve to go home._

Time was running out, and neither man wanted to waste it. Jasper clapped Alec on the shoulder, forcing his friend's eyes up to met his.

"Basketball may be over, but you should be home in time for part of baseball season."

Alec nodded. "Yeah, maybe I'll get to coach next year."

Jasper smiled liking the idea of his friend getting to do all the things he'd talked about with his boys. "Enjoy Jane and the boys, eat a shitload of good food, and for God's sake forget about this place. Enjoy your life, Alec. You sure as hell earned it."

Alec tightened his jaw, stepped forward, and grabbed Jasper by the collar, bringing him to attention with a hard shake. Jasper righted himself just in time to see Alec's stare blazing through him. The man looked downright livid.

"Get your fucking ass home, do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"The war is over. Don't go getting your ass shot up over the peace. Medals and awards for valor are great, but they don't do you much good when they're pinned to a uniform lying six feet under, do you hear?" Jasper could only nod in reply. "Good," Alec continued. "Don't leave your back open, _ever_. Stay with the troop, and don't trust anyone you don't know. I hate the fucking fact that I won't be there to cover your ass, so keep yourself out of trouble and follow my fucking orders. Are we clear?"

Before Jasper could reply Alec clipped him on the back of his head.

"Ow!" Jasper shouted as his hand flew up to the sore spot Alec had just given him.

"Remember that when you're about to do something stupid. And let that be the worst of your injuries before you set a foot through your own front door."

Alec smirked once more and held out his hand for Jasper. The men shook and then embraced pounding each other on the back.

"Get on home to your girl, Jasper, then write me as soon as you do."

"I will."

Alec released his friend and hopped on the back of the truck. A few guys already on board pulled him safely into position. The line of vehicles started to pull out and after a quick wave, all that remained of Alec was the floating dust scattered by the tires.

Jasper pulled his side hat down tighter and checked his watch.

_Shit._

His letters were shaking in his hand as he sprinted back in the direction of Grovesnor Square. Big Ben's gong announced that he'd spent too much time with Alec to make it to the mail clerk and join the transport troop before their departure. His frantic thoughts kept pace with his racing feet.

_Maybe I could mail them from Portsmouth before we board the ships…_

Only seconds later Jasper smacked hard into the unlucky uniform who happened to be in his path to the transport trucks. A mixture of fear and remorse made Jasper's mouth run dry at the sight of the fallen man before him. He jerked himself upright to bring himself to attention. His right hand flew to his brow to salute the officer still lying on the ground.

"Sir, Colonel Swan, sir."

Colonel Swan, who was ticked off over being brought to a violent halt by a reckless private, stopped dusting off his shirt to meet the wide eyes of the shaking man before him, PFC Jasper Whitlock. As per his usual approach, the colonel masked his surprise with acrimony.

"Private, preparedness negates the need for haste."

"My apologies, sir."

Colonel Swan nodded at the heaving man before him.

"At ease."

Jasper relaxed his stance, but his mind was still going a mile a minute. He needed to get to the line for fall-in fast.

"Shouldn't you be loading, private?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then why exactly are you running about?"

Jasper swallowed trying hard to be truthful without making excuses.

"I lost track of time finishing up a letter to my folks and my girl about my deployment. I should have taken care of it sooner."

"Damn right, you should have. Those orders were announced weeks ago. This type of pussy footing around is reprehensible. Always be prepared. Don't put shit off for the last minute. That's what gets our men killed, are we clear soldier?"

"Sir, yes, sir."

Jasper stared stoically, willing himself to calm. Unfortunately, he didn't stay that way quite long enough. Before he could stop himself, his eyes flitted in the direction of the transport line that was still a block away.

Colonel Swan followed his eyes and huffed.

"They're not going to leave before I dismiss them, Whitlock. And right now you're putting us both off schedule."

"Sorry, sir."

"What does that have to do with the price of tea?" the colonel barked. He wasn't about to let the fact that Jasper had saved his life get the boy any leeway when it came to being prepared. He sure as hell didn't like the idea of sending Jasper out from under his command without making that point. Jasper, although well intentioned and a damn good operative, was still a babe in the colonel's eyes.

"We're only sending our best to the Hussars, should I be rethinking my decision, Whitlock?"

"No, sir."

"No?"

"NO, SIR!" Jasper barked.

"Whitlock, if you're the leader I thought you were, then you'll act like it at all times. You represent the United States Army and I expect you to carry that honor with the diligence and respect this uniform deserves."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"At some point in your deployment you'll be called upon to be more than what you are today. You'll make a decision that will impact your life and the lives of those around you."

The reports of atrocities leveled against the German people after the allied victory flittered across the colonel's conscience.

"Be honorable in all you do, Whitlock. Represent your country with pride."

"Yes, sir."

"Get to it then, dismissed."

Jasper lifted his right hand to salute his colonel one last time. He nodded quickly and transferred his letters to his right hand to pick up his duffel with his left. Charlie caught the movement and swallowed his gruff persona to extend a very human offer to the young man before him.

"Whitlock," he asked after Jasper who began hurrying toward the transport.

"Yes, sir?"

"Those your letters home?" he asked, motioning to the envelopes in Jasper's hand.

"Yes, sir."

"Give them here. I'll see they get mailed for you."

Jasper let out a huge sigh of relief then stepped forward and placed the letters in the colonel's hand.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome. And Whitlock…Godspeed."

Jasper nodded once more then took off running for the truck line.

jj**JJ**jj

It was late afternoon by the time Charlie had dismissed the troops. With a heavy sigh he made his way toward the mess hall for chow. Along the route he tapped his breast pocket in search of his pipe and an unfamiliar rustle of paper caught his attention. Remembering his promise to Private Whitlock, he changed course toward the mail clerk's office.

The young man inside jumped to attention and saluted the colonel briskly. After telling the clerk to stand down he reached inside his pocket and dropped Whitlock's letters on the table before him. The clerk was about to drag the letters away when Charlie caught the clerk by the wrist stilling him. The poor man wondered what the hell he'd done wrong, but it wasn't the clerk's actions that set Charlie off. It was the address of the second letter that had caught his attention. With his free hand Charlie swept up the letters to read the addresses more clearly.

The first letter was being sent to Texas. This made sense. Whitlock's light southern drawl suggested he was native to that part of the country. He quickly flipped the first letter over the second and stood stock still staring blankly at the address before him.

_103 Park Ave, Easton, MD_

A location exactly three blocks from his own home. If the address wasn't enough to startle him, the name at the top certainly was.

_Miss Alice Brandon_

_Alice. _Charlie thought of the tiny girl who took care of his daughter Bella whenever his duty had called him away. Bella even lived with Alice's folks for two years when he was sent to London in 1942. Charlie owed Alice so much, and he wondered how the hell Whitlock had gotten her address. Bella's face appeared in his mind and suddenly Whitlock's words fell into place.

"_I lost track of time finishing up a letter to my folks and my girl..." _

Charlie thought of his daughter and the time she and Edward spent with Whitlock before they sailed for home. Then he thought of the pretty girl, now woman, who was waiting at home for Whitlock's reply. Charlie tapped the envelope to his chin then tossed it back down to the fumbling hands of the mail clerk.

"Make sure that goes out today," he barked.

"Yes, sir."

Charlie lifted his side hat back into place as he stepped back into the setting June sun. For Jasper's family and especially for Alice's sake, Charlie hoped Whitlock had learned enough under Ultra to keep himself safe.

_Godspeed, Jasper Whitlock. Safe return and Godspeed._

* * *

_**A/N:**_ The next three chapters will all be from Jasper's point of view. I'm looking forward to posting them and excited about what you guys will think. There's a great photo I found that is the epitome of Alec writing to Jane in this chapter. You can find it by typing this into your browser or just follow the link to my blog on my profile page: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001prww

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-FirstBlush

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**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 18 June 15, 1945

**Story reference: **Alec describes the battle of Kasserine Pass in North Africa where he was the lone survivor of his unit.

**Historical Significance: **On February 14, 1943, the Axis commanders sent German and Italian forces through the passes, hoping to penetrate the American positions and either envelop the British in the north or seize Allied supply depots.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)worldwariihistory(dot)info/WWII/North-Africa(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Alec describes the battle in North Africa where he was the lone survivor of his unit.

**Historical Significance: **The Kampfgruppe von Broich was a battle group from the 10th Panzer Division.

This was the first large scale meeting between German and US forces in WWII. After the major losses at Kasserine Pass, the US initiated sweeping changes by restructuring command and coordinating aircraft with ground forces.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Kasserine_Pass

* * *

**Story reference: **Alec describes the battle in North Africa where he was the lone survivor of his unit.

**Historical Significance: **The last Axis resistance in Africa ended in May of 1943 with the surrender of over 275K prisoners of war.

Video links of the 109th Combat Engineers of the 34th Infantry Division served in North Africa and Italy.

**Videos:**

http:/109thengineers34thdivision(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2009/03/video-kasserine-pass(dot)html

**Maps:**

http:/historicalresources(dot)files(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2008/09/tunisia-final-allied-offensive-22-april-3-may-1943(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper tells Alice and his parents about joining the Hussars as they march to Berlin

**Historical Significance: **After VE Day the Hussars spent the next two months in the Hamburg area sorting prisoners, helping to clear the city and dealing with the tens of thousands of displaced persons, now roaming the ruins of Germany.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)btinternet(dot)com/~ian(dot)a(dot)paterson/battles1945(dot)htm

* * *

Because this is one of kejce's (and my) favorite songs of this era, I'll post the link again.

**Story reference: **Jasper quotes the lyrics of Dream a Little Dream of me at the end of his letter to Alice

**Historical Significance: **Dream a Little Dream of Me was recorded by Ozzie Nelson and his orchestra in February of 1931

**Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=ry3G_JpxDco&feature=related


	19. Chapter 19 July2, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. Special thanks this week to KatHat for reviewing TLWH on her blog and for Cafemom. The link to her review of this story and some other wonderful fics can be found on my profile page. _**

**_My first story, The Last Breath has been nominated for a read along by TwiFicPics. To vote for it, you paste this link into your browser and replace the dot: http:/svy(dot)mk/guf8Ty_**

_A/N: For all those readers who have been following this story since reading The Last Breath, I hope this chapter was worth the wait. So, without further ado..._

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**_July 2, 1945_**

"Put your back into it, lads. One...two...three!"

Jasper groaned and strained to lift and pull and drag with all his might, but the slippery ground beneath his feet offered little traction for his efforts. Inches felt like miles as the men worked to right a transport truck that had thrown a tire and had found itself topside up in a ditch. All of the truck's contents had been splattered on the ground like branches in a windstorm.

"Come on, lads, one more oughta' do it," urged Col Wainman.

The count came once more and with a mighty heave, forty men lifted and groaned until the massive truck was tipped back onto its haunches. Jasper was an utter mess covered in mud and grime. He, like the other men of the unit, was both rain soaked and half drowned.

After his departure from London, Jasper was frustrated with the weeklong trek he took to meet up with the Hussars. He felt like a lost soul jumping from one unit to the next until he finally met up with the squadron. Little did he know that the weeklong trek across the channel and over the bombed out roads of the French countryside would be the easiest part of his journey. Now, after three days of pelting rain, Jasper was drenched all the way down to his skivvies. The unrelenting storms, rendered his helmet and rain gear practically useless against the elements.

Jasper bent down to retrieve one of the mud soaked packs and throw it up with the rest of the load. Their packs, nearly thirty pounds heavier with the rain, had been loaded onto the backs of trucks to ease their carrying weight as they marched. Jasper shook his head, relieved that his own pack was wet but fortunately mud free on one of the trucks further down the line.

"Come on, get on with it, men. We don't want to keep the Prime Minister waiting, do we?"

Churchill was all the men could talk about. The Hussars were a revered unit and as such they'd been invited to march in the victory parade being held in Berlin in a few weeks. They were excited to have the privilege of marching before their honored hero, Winston Churchill. Jasper too was excited about the event, but he didn't have nearly the same enthusiasm as his peers. His new CO told him, in no uncertain terms, that he wouldn't be marching with the Hussars. Although he'd been welcomed into the unit, he was still a guest, a visitor. Only the men that had served in combat would be allowed to march.

When Jasper met his new commanding officer, he felt like a mount being brought to sale. The way Major-General Lyne examined the group of transfers felt much like the way Jasper would have checked the back and teeth of a new broodmare. The General looked them over as he walked up and down the line. His tilted beret with the Crown insignia pinned at the lift matched the way he carried himself. He was war tested, confident, and determined. Jasper was proud to stand among the men in his presence, even if the only two words uttered at the end of their examination, were "they'll suffice."

Things weren't all that different for Jasper now that he was part of a British unit. They had their own lingo, jokes and mannerisms, but he'd been welcomed all the same. It was that playful British humor that filled Jasper with a new appreciation of, and longing for, Seth's company. Despite the differences between these soldiers and his fellow GIs, the green of their uniforms and their common goal of a world free of the Nazi regime, painted them all as allies.

When they finally bedded down for the night, Jasper was restless inside his own mind as he huddled with three other men in a leaky pup tent. Despite the miserable weather he understood how lucky he was to be out in the elements in July rather than in January. Many a soldier had to find rest in conditions much worse than these. The bedroll beneath him was drenched and although he'd laid his raincoat on top of it, he could still feel the damp settle into his bones. His helmet and his pack were serving as a makeshift pillow, though neither were doing a good job at impersonating the down one he'd had in his bunk. Jasper sighed hard. Though sleep was eluding him, he couldn't blame it on the weather. Over the past two days they'd marched nearly a quarter of the one hundred and twenty mile trek to Berlin. His muscles were sore and aching. He needed a stiff drink and a hot bath. He should have been comatose the moment he laid down, yet his mind kept returning to the events of the day. The thrown tire and the backbreaking work to right the overturned truck weren't as troublesome as the filthy mess that had become of the men's drenched packs. Everything a man held dear was in those packs, and for Jasper the things he valued most were Alice's photograph and her letters. He wondered if they'd have survived a swim in the muddy drink. The thought of losing her image and her words made him desolate. He needed some way of keeping her with him, no matter what happened.

Jasper sat up slowly so as not to disturb the sleeping men around him and reached for his pack. His fingers blindly searched its contents for anything dry enough to towel off his hands. His salvation had come from the bandages he'd found in his first aid kit. Jasper paused, knowing these things needed to remain sterile in the event he'd ever found himself shot. In terms of the trade off, Jasper weighed his mental health about equal to his physical health. Adding to his rationale, he acknowledged that the bandages could be replaced, while Alice's letters could not.

Jasper moved slowly to keep the noise he was making to a minimum. He didn't want to disrupt the other guys' sleep nor did he want to have to explain what he was doing. He removed his pocket knife from his belt and cut a rough circle from the lining of his raincoat. Then he fumbled through his pack until he found Alice's photograph in a tin ration can. Though he could barely see her image in the faint light, he pressed his lips to hers before carefully re-stowing it. He next found her letters wrapped in Alec's spare canteen cover. The letters were stored in chronological order so that even in the dim light he knew when he had Alice's final letter in his grasp. He unfolded it carefully and lifted the last page so he could catch a whiff of her scent.

_Lily of the Valley_

He only uncovered the name of her fragrance when he'd gone to purchase Alice's brooch a few months back. The shop clerk faintly smelled like Alice's letters and Jasper had been drawn to the scent like a moth to a flame. The poor shop girl was red faced with embarrassment when he'd asked her what she was wearing. He would have spent his last thin dime to buy a bottle, but the girl told him he'd have a better chance of finding it growing on the sidewalk in February than purchasing a fragrance bottle with the war rations. Later on he discovered that the plant was native to wet climates, but by that time he already had his mind was made up. He'd find some way to grow it in west Texas. He was stubborn like that.

A faint dusting of light peeked into the tent as Jasper brandished his pocket knife once more. He loosened the buckle of his pants and began to pry the bar away from the frame. The bar was hollow and slid easily out from the tongs that had held it in place. Once more he lifted Alice's letter, allowing her scent to calm him. This part of his mission was as sacrilegious as it was necessary. Still, Jasper was resolved. This needed to be done to give him some measure of peace. With that thought, Jasper jabbed the knife into the belly of the heavy stationary and cut a jagged circle around Alice's final words…_Love, Alice._

With his traitorous action complete, Jasper carefully folded the remaining sheets of paper and re-stowed them deep within the layers of his pack. Everything inside was damp, not wet, but damp. Jasper prayed for a break in the weather that would allow everything to dry out. Returning to his work, Jasper rolled Alice's unspoken promise and words of love into a thin stick, then he surrounded it with the scrap of raincoat he'd cut to keep out the rain. The makeshift message was tucked into the proverbial bottle and reset into his buckle.

_There, _Jasper thought, relieved to have a small portion of Alice's words on his person.

His mission now complete, Jasper lay back down on his damp, and now holey, raincoat. His right hand fell across his belly, covering his buckle. His left pressed over his heart and lay overtop of Alice's handkerchief pinned inside his shirt. The relief he felt was tangible. Perhaps the action was silly or paranoid, but he wanted evidence of her with him. Though they'd shared so much more than letters, he needed the comfort of her connection. Even if it was only a sliver of what he'd hope to have someday, the effort to secure her words comforted him enough to sleep through the night.

As his eyes fell closed, Jasper realized that tonight, comfort for an aching heart was a hell of a lot more sustaining than a full belly or a dry bed.

jj**JJ**jj

The hot morning coffee Jasper had cradled in his hands went a long way toward soothing him and the other men after a third horrible night. It also didn't hurt that it had finally stopped raining. The talk around the breakfast fire this morning caught Jasper's attention enough to bring him out of his sleep deprived stupor. Men surrounding him were discussing the POW camps that they'd liberated along the route from Hamburg. Jasper had yet to see a camp himself, but the stories these men told made him glad he hadn't. Prisoners were exhausted, far too thin to have received proper food rations and most often mistreated. Wounds lay open and festering for lack of medical attention. Jasper shuddered into his coffee cup as the chatter continued.

"The worst was their fucking eyes," one man called out

"Most definitely," another confirmed.

Jasper, like the few other transfers who were sitting around the campsite, looked up in surprise. The guy next to him took enough notice to clarify.

"You'd think that freedom would be like manna from heaven, a gift of salvation, right?"

Jasper nodded.

"Well, for some of the poor bastards it was. We brought freedom. We were the eyes of home for the Brits and the Yanks, but for those poor Russian chaps, you'd swear they thought they were better off where they were."

"What?" Jasper asked completely confused by the idea of _wanting _to stay in a German POW camp.

"Not all of them wanted to go home to _Mother Russia_."

"Why? That doesn't make any sense."

"Ever heard of the gulags? The Soviet forced labor camps?"

The question was rhetorical for the soldier continued, not waiting for Jasper's reply.

"The Russians were taught that to be captured is to be considered a traitor to their homeland."

"How do you know this?" Jasper quipped, not believing the tale.

"Because they begged for our help."

"Help how?"

"Help getting to London or New York," the man shrugged.

"They wanted to defect?"

"Certainly seemed that way, but wouldn't you want the same if you were afraid to return home?"

Jasper thought about what defecting might mean for the soldiers' families who were left behind, but with so many men captured or killed, who would be able to confirm who died in war and who escaped to another country?

"What did you do?"

"What do you think we did? We fucking followed orders," the soldier spat then dumped out the rest of the coffee before stomping away.

Jasper's shoulders fell in defeat. _They sent them back anyway._

The soldier's stark words did not sit well with Jasper.

_Why weren't free men allowed to go where they pleased? Why didn't the Brits allow these poor bastards asylum? _

As soon as the thought trickled through his mind, he heard Alec's voice inside his head.

"_We march, we fight, and we follow orders without question. That's what soldiers do."_

Before Jasper could dwell on it much longer, the call to order sent the men scrambling to clean up the camp and get ready for another long and difficult day of marching. Jasper sighed, at least they had full bellies and a bright sun rising to light their way.

Not two hours into the march, they realized the sun was both their ally and their foe. Although the rain had stopped, the July heat paired with the strong sun and dampened roads made the air almost too thick to breathe. The soupy air grew worse as morning drew on to noon. Jasper lifted his canteen from his belt and allowed the cool water to trickle down his throat, then poured a few drops down the back of his neck. The long drink had eased his parched throat but brought only momentary relief. He would have given his left arm to jump in a swimming hole or a cool stream. Though the conditions were growing more miserable by the hour, Jasper knew that he certainly didn't have it all that bad. His thoughts drifted to Private Hudson from his unit back in ETOUSA. The poor bastard had been sent to Manila_. Manila_. Jasper wondered if every day on the island felt something like this.

A loud whistle up front broke Jasper out of his musing. The signal drew the entire unit to a halt. Jasper froze with the rest of the soldiers and stared stoically at the back of the man before him. He tilted one eye toward the sky and noticed it was still earlier than they'd normally break for the midday meal.

The minutes drew on and no word came from the front. A and B squadron were toward the front while his own squadron, D, was at the far back, literally pulling up the rear. As time ticked by, Jasper could feel the tension settling over the men, unseen as a mist but definitely felt as the atmosphere shifted around him. Though no one would dare break rank to ask, the same unspoken questions were floating in each of their minds.

_What was the hold up?_

_Should they be preparing for combat?_

_Was the tender scab of peace about to be ripped from the wound?_

Nearly an hour passed like this. It was a long hour of standing at attention in the muggy heat with sweat streaming down their backs and fingers poised over the trigger of their rifles.

Each passing moment felt like an eternity as the tension Jasper felt increased tenfold. Nerves were as fragile as piano wires stretched far beyond their breaking points. Finally, a loud barking order broke the trance. It rippled like a wave through the ranks.

"STAND DOWN, SET CAMP."

Relief. The freedom to move, to do _something, _was like a stay from the executioner's noose. Jasper drew a deep breath letting his own nerves calm. He wiped his hands on his trousers; no good could come from a dropped weapon that could set off a round of ammunition.

Once his weapon was securely stowed, he set out to help with the work. Ground was cleared and tents were set while the midday meal was prepared. When the men finally sat down to eat, the reports filtered from man to man until Jasper, too, had heard the news_. They were being held up by the Russian Army._

Jasper blanched at the news. An uneasy feeling began growing in the pit of his stomach. As more details carried across the camp, they were informed that the Russians now controlled Magdeburg. That being the case, the Hussars would now need Russian permission to pass through on their way to Berlin. A wave of déjà vu settled into Jasper's bones as he processed the news. Suddenly he was back in the Packard with Alec fuming over "Uncle Joe's" treatment of his own people.

Perhaps it was the discussion of the Russian POWs this morning or his own memories of the tale told by the LIFE photographer, but Jasper wouldn't trust Uncle Joe, any farther than he could throw him.

"You look like my little brother did after our Mum forced him to take a nip of castor oil," a soldier beside Jasper joked.

"The news from up front isn't exactly pleasant," Jasper shot back.

He hadn't intended to be so cross, but the frustrations of the morning flew out of him before he could filter his words. The man beside him just shrugged it off.

"True, but tisn't much we can do save for taking advantage of the rest."

The man pulled off his boots and began massaging his tender feet to prove the point. Jasper shook his head but unfortunately had nowhere to place his anger. Acting based solely on suspicion could lead to another war and no one, not even Jasper, wanted that. He had to trust that their leaders would be able to solve this diplomatically.

"What's got you in such a sour mood?" the soldier beside him asked rhetorically as he continued rubbing his worn out soles. "It's a fine day. We have clean air in our lungs and full bellies to boot."

His words were light hearted, but Jasper noticed the change in his demeanor before he spoke again. This time the words were nearly menacing; they felt like a spoken order to be followed.

"Don't go making for trouble where none wants to be found."

The man punctuated his point with a slap to Jasper's chest and an emphatic nod. Jasper nodded in reply, but his thoughts vehemently disagreed.

_Just because we're not looking, doesn't mean that the trouble isn't out there._

The soldier ignored Jasper giving more attention to his worn out feet. Finally, he pulled a weathered old map from his pack and began to study it.

"Hot damn," the man called out moments later in the worst impersonation of a southern drawl Jasper had ever heard. "There's water in them thar hills."

"What are you babbling about?" Jasper asked, laughing at the ridiculous accent.

"A stroke of luck, my good man," the man's accent had changed once again from a poor impersonation of a drawl to a rather good one of a fine Englishman.

Jasper laughed again at the man's silliness as he made himself appear as he was wearing a top hat and carrying a jewel encrusted cane. The man's eyes softened as he saw Jasper move from tension to sniggering laughter.

"You're ridiculous."

"Probably so, but I was able to make you laugh, wasn't I?"

Jasper nodded a little more relaxed and comforted by the good natured man. He seemed to be older than Alec, probably in his late thirties, and Jasper couldn't help but wonder why he was still on active duty. The realization smacked him in the face. Britain had been at war for nearly seven years. The man certainly would have been of serving age when he enlisted or was drafted. The damn war had taken a chunk of this soldier's adult life and nothing could ever bring it back. Jasper hoped that at the very least, the man's home would be intact when he finally did return.

"There's water, about four miles east of our position," the soldier continued, ignorant of Japer's internal struggle. "I want to see if we'd be allowed to head there. I'd like the chance to wash some of the mud out from my gear."

An hour later, Jasper and his new companion were marching through the German wilderness in search of the water Captain Afton was certain they'd find. Jasper had been a little surprised at how quickly the squadron leader agreed to their request but the mention of trench rot, by Captain Afton seemed to resolve any question in Lt. Col. Wainman's mind. They'd still be well south of the Russian line, and it gave the men the chance to do something productive rather than sit around camp and stew over their delay.

The forest was thick as the men plodded along. The troop needed to check their compasses every few minutes to keep them all on the right path. As Jasper walked beside Captain Afton, they chatted about friends and family back home. They mused over the things they wanted to see and do once they finally reached their own soil.

All in all it took the group about a half an hour to reach the water's edge. It was a generous offshoot of the Elbe River. After a scout confirmed the surrounding area, the men let loose and were running and jumping for the cool water. Afton was one of the first to strip to his skivvies and jump into the fray. After his dip he began to wash the mud out of everything it covered in the last three days. Jasper had forgone the boyhood scrambles settling for getting to work cleaning himself and his equipment. Although Afton had been stretching the truth to get leave for the men, Jasper knew trench rot was no joke. Men needed to take very good care of their feet to make it through the pounding that was inflicted upon them. They still had another eighty miles to march before they'd reach Berlin. He sat in a quiet area at the water's edge and began washing out several muddy pairs of socks that had adorned his feet.

With his laundry hanging in nearby branches, Jasper opened his pack and pulled out his lap desk and a few mostly dry sheets of paper. If he couldn't be with her, he'd bring Alice to where he was.

_July 3, 1945_

_My Alice,_

_I love you. I've missed your words these last few weeks, more than you can imagine. _

_First, let me put your mind at ease and tell you that I'm fine. As I told you in my last letter, I'm on my way to Berlin. So far, I've traveled across the channel, through northern France and the rubble of the German roads. The trip has been long and at times difficult, but today I find myself sitting peacefully along a bank of the Elbe about eighty miles from Berlin. I joined the 7__th__ Hussars (my new unit) about a week ago. Their Major General is a crusty old salt, but I'm happy to be serving under him. The way he carries himself gives confidence to those around him. I'm certain he was a hell of a leader in battle. _

_To be honest, today is the first clear day we've had in a while. The rain poured down on us soaking both the men, and their equipment down to the bone. I haven't caught a clear night to look up at the stars, but I know they're still there, just waiting beyond the clouds. I've been trying to catch a good glimpse of Libra. With the lights of London re-lit, it's been more difficult to see the stars at night. I look at Libra as a turning point. It's a scale, a balance really. I feel as though we're standing on the precipice of change. The balance of peace is most certainly precarious and I pray, as we all do, that the balance will hold. When my nerves wind tight, I see your photograph in my mind and I remember why the balance has to hold. _

Jasper closed his eyes, thinking of the tension in his shoulders and the grip of his sweaty palms over his weapon this morning. One stupid move by any of the men in the unit, and the balance could have been shot to hell. For the first time, Alec's words really laid the situation on the table. _"Don't be stupid, Jasper. We both know that at times keeping the peace in the middle of Berlin is certain to be more dangerous than the war ever was."_

Jasper smirked humorously, if Alec only knew what trouble was also lurking in the towns outside Berlin.

"Whitlock?" a distant voice called.

His eyes lifted from Alice's letter to see Afton's lanky form heading his way.

"You ready to head back?"

Slightly confused, Jasper looked around and saw several guys still splashing at the water's edge goofing off and having a generally good time. None of them seemed to be in a hurry to pack up. He looked up at Afton with a question on his face.

"I pulled KP tonight. I have to head back early."

The frown on Jasper's face deepened. He turned to look over at the branches over his shoulder where his socks were still drying in the sun.

Afton followed his gaze and noticed the photograph pinned to Jasper's lap desk. He quickly put two and two together and offered an alternative.

"Just stay and come back with the rest of the troop. You have a compass and a map right?"

Jasper nodded.

"Good man, I'll show you the path."

Afton spent the next few minutes retracing their path along the map lines making sure Jasper had it right in his mind. With a hearty slap on the back, he told Jasper not to be late, he wasn't saving any food for stragglers. With a playful smirk, Jasper returned his thoughts to Alice.

_We've given a little aid along the route. The German people don't trust us. They are afraid of the enemy, turned peacekeeper that roams their lands. We try to speak a few words of reassurance in German and offer food. The food is only a temporary fix. The moments where I feel most helpful are when I can use my hands or strong back to aid them. The women are the most skittish, but there is a quiet defiance in their eyes. Most of the men have yet to return, and invariably there are things to be fixed that a good strong back can do much more easily for them. I want to help them feed their families and ensure their livelihoods are not ended with their country's defeat. Perhaps I'm naive to think this way, but I want the Nazi regime crushed, not the culture of the German people. God forbid, if we were on the other side of victory and saw the very thing that makes us proud to call ourselves Americans go up in flames. _

_Perhaps I'm an idealist; I'm certainly not a pacifist. Again, I'm brought back to Libra and balance. There has to be a way, Alice. I'll fight for it here, and I'll fight for it when I return home. _

Jasper sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. His stomach began to rumble which made him acknowledge that he wouldn't find the answers to world peace on an empty stomach. He looked down at his watch, startled that it was already past four and he'd have to finish Alice's letter later tonight. The sun wouldn't set for several hours, but he needed to pack up and head back for camp. Jasper looked around him and noticed with a start that he was the last man to pack up. Scrambling to his feet he shoved his writing material in his pack and began pulling on his dry socks and cleaned boots. The voices and laughter of the men in the unit were growing fainter as the seconds passed. Jasper would have to run double time to catch up with them. He'd just finished pulling on his pack and reached for his weapon when he heard a very faint voice calling out to him from the opposite direction of his departing unit.

"Hey!...HEY! Are you American?"

Jasper snapped his head in the direction of the voice. It grew only slightly louder as it called a second time.

"I'm an American from Philadelphia, help me!"

Jasper let out a loud whistle trying to get the attention of the Hussars who were heading back to camp. He called out and shouted but to little avail as Jasper realized they were already too far away to hear him. A series of bangs echoed of the trees startling Jasper and sending him flying in the direction of the man who'd called out to him.

_Shit!_

His feet were pounding against the forest floor. Twigs scraped his trousers and mud splashed against his boots, but still he ran, pushing himself harder toward the calling voice. He knew that sound. It was a short burst of rifle fire at short range. A low branch caught Jasper in the neck as he went flying by. The stinging sensation was followed by the warm trail of blood that dripped down to the collar of his shirt.

"I'm coming. Where are you?"

Every nerve in Jasper's body was singing. His feet pelted the earth beneath him as his ears strained to hear the faint American voice call out once more. The only sound that echoed back were his own panting breaths. Jasper kept sweeping his surroundings. He pushed himself to run faster, but all the while it was Alec's voice he could hear screaming in his head.

"…_Don't leave your back open, ever. Stay with the troop, and don't trust anyone you don't know."_

_Fuck!_ he shouted in his head.

He was doing exactly what Alec had warned him not to do.

"Damn it, where are you?" Jasper called raising his gun to the ready.

A gurgled sound echoed up ahead. Jasper couldn't make it out. It sounded almost inhuman. Then he froze.

"Oh, shit."

There on the ground not fifteen feet in front of him lay an American, gasping for breath and coughing up blood. Jasper swallowed hard just as the injured man tried to say something and wound up gurgling with the blood filling his lungs. The noise snapped Jasper out of his stupor and he ran to the man, falling to his knees before him. The soldier tried to swat his hands away, but Jasper ignored him ripping open his shirt to see where he'd been hit. Blood was everywhere. Jasper dropped his weapon and his pack and began rumbling blindly for something to staunch the flow so he could carry the man back to camp.

_God, this is bad._

After a few swipes with his sock and an undershirt Jasper found the bullet hole. He pressed down hard, causing the man to scream in agony. His eyes widening as he coughed and spat. Jasper pulled up the soldier's dog tag and wiped away the blood so he could at least read the GI's last name.

B. TANNER

"Listen to me, Tanner," Jasper called. "We're going to get this bleeding to stop and then I'm going to haul you out of here. We'll head back to camp and the medics will patch you up and get you out of here, do you understand?"

"Rrr…rru…rrr…s"

"Shhh," Jasper calmed. "Just stay still, okay? We'll get you home soon. Home to Philly pretzels and Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell, right?"

The man tried to nod, but he was starting to slip out of consciousness. Jasper reached for the bandages in his first aid kid, cursing himself for using them last night to dry his hands. He prayed they were still clean enough to help. If he didn't stop this guy's bleeding soon, he wouldn't have to worry about an infection anyway. Jasper ripped off the cover to the morphine needle and jabbed it into Tanner's shoulder. His eyes softened, but his hands kept flailing, working to find purchase on Jasper's shirt.

Jasper pushed harder making Tanner cough louder. His body began shaking violently and the only thing Jasper could do was hold on and pray.

_Please God, please, please, please. _

He'd seen death come to animals before. It was a part of life on the farm. Jasper already knew what was coming, but that didn't make his mind any more willing to accept it. The full burden of his weight was now bearing down on Tanner's chest as if by brute force he'd be able to staunch the flow of red, but his efforts were to no avail. The tremors grew more violent until Tanner's body just…_stopped._

Jasper's chest continued to heave with exertion but his mind, like his eyes, were frozen on the dead soldier before him. Everything else but Tanner tunneled into the tiny bit of light around him.

_Dear Lord, please forgive his sins and take his soul to heaven._

Jasper's bloody hands were shaking and his breaths grew louder than anything else in the forest. After many minutes of willing both his body and mind to calm, Jasper finally unfroze enough to become aware of his surroundings. He was about to turn and search for something to clean off the blood when he felt a blunt metal object press into the base of his skull. The next sound he heard was unmistakable. A series of sliding clicks echoed loudly as a presence behind him charged the bolt of his rifle.

The image of Alice's beautiful face came before his eyes. The last words to go through his mind were for her.

_I love you, Alice._

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Yeah, we knew this part of the story was going to be rough. _

_I feel that some of the research links in this chapter need a qualifier. Most of the sites I find provide factual information in an unbiased manner. At the very least the writing in the fff(dot)org site is passionate at the most it is inflammatory. I think it's up to each reader to decide for themselves what they believe, but for me, it provided the inspiration for a plot line. Although the story has a lot of historical facts, it most certainly is fictional. I needed to put a notice out there for anyone who decides to open the links. _

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think._

_-FirstBlush_

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: ****Chapter 19 - July 2, 1945**

**Story reference: **In early July Jasper meets up with the 11th Hussars who were making their way to Berlin

**Historical Significance: **British troops withdraw from Magdeburg, which now becomes part of the Soviet occupation zone.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/jul45/f01jul45(dot)htm

http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper describes the rain gear and the tent he uses while marching with the 11thHussars.

**Historical Significance: **Sept. 1944: A flour manufacturer and his 11-yr old daughter give a bottle of wine to Sgt. Joe Tradenick. The soldier wears a helmet and rain gear. (Photo by US Army/Getty Images)

Canteen cover Jasper uses to keep Alice's letters dry.

**Source: **http:/farm5(dot)static(dot)flickr(dot)com/4037/4334876771_9b86fd8a7f(dot)jpg

http:/cache1(dot)asset-cache(dot)net/xc/3206201(dot)jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=

https:/www(dot)mainemilitary(dot)com/productcart/pc/viewPrd(dot)asp?idproduct=2503

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper's issued belt he uses to hide a piece of Alice's last letter.

**Historical Significance: **Replica Army Issued infantry belt.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)militaryphotos(dot)net/forums/showthread(dot)php?88470-SERE-E-amp-E-Kit

* * *

**Story reference: **The Hussars continue to Berlin to attend the victory parade unknowing of Jasper's absence.

**Historical Significance: **The 11thHussars were directed to move to Berlin, firstly to join the Occupation Forces there, and secondly to take part in the great Victory Parade through the city on 21st July

**Source: **http:/www(dot)btinternet(dot)com/~ian(dot)a(dot)paterson/battles1945(dot)htm

**Parade photos: **http:/www(dot)desertratsorg(dot)btinternet(dot)co(dot)uk/VEDay(dot)htm#VEday

* * *

**Story reference: **Through the Hussars Jasper learns of the many Russian soldiers who wish to defect to avoid being sent to the Gulags or killed for being POWs.

**Historical Significance: **Part of the Yalta Agreement between the Big Three involved the repatriation of Russians and Americans to their respective homelands. Although American and British POWs wanted to return to their own forces, Russian POWs often feared being treated as traitors.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)fff(dot)org/freedom/0895a(dot)asp

http:/www(dot)fff(dot)org/freedom/0495a(dot)asp

* * *

**Story reference: **Through the Hussars Jasper learns of the many Russian soldiers who wish to defect to avoid being sent to the Gulags or killed for being POWs.

**Historical Significance: **The Soviet Union under dictator Josef V. Stalin "summarily executed" some U.S. prisoners after World War II and forced others, some of whom are still alive, to renounce their U.S. citizenship, Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin –November, 1992

**Source: **http:/articles(dot)baltimoresun(dot)com/1992-11-12/news/1992317164_1_soviet-union-volkogonov-cold-war

http:/www(dot)historyplace(dot)com/worldwar2/timeline/malmedy(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Through the Hussars Jasper learns of the many Russian soldiers who wish to defect to avoid being sent to the Gulags or killed for being POWs.

**Historical Significance: **Soviet leadership found out that despite the demands set forth by Stalin, British intelligence was retaining a number of anti-Communist prisoners … under orders from Churchill. In response, the Soviets did not complete the repatriation of the Allied POWs in their possession, leaving roughly 23,500 American and 30,000 British and Commonwealth soldiers in Soviet hands. Some were repatriated in the coming years, but others were sent to the GULAG and never returned home.

**Operation Keelhaul:**

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Operation_Keelhaul

Soldiers of Misfortune: Washington's Secret Betrayal of American POWs in the Soviet Union by James D. Sanders

**Source: **http:/www(dot)amazon(dot)com/Soldiers-Misfortune-Washingtons-Betrayal-American/dp/0915765837

* * *

**Story reference:**Jasper describes the orders of Col Wainman allowing the Hussars to leave camp and go to a nearby branch of the Elbe and was out their clothing.

**Historical Significance: **+ D Squadron Bad Bramstedt to Berlin July 45 COs: Lieutenant Colonel W Wainman DSO MC later Lieutenant Colonel P Payne Gallwey DSO

**Source: **http:/baor-locations(dot)co(dot)uk/Historyof7thArmouredDivision(dot)aspx


	20. Chapter 20 July 3, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for helping me through this process. Special thanks this week to kejce for pre reading and to Enchantedmind who created a new banner for the turning point of this story. You can see it here at: _**

_A/N: CHAPTER WARNING FOR VIOLENCE_

* * *

**_July 3, 1945_**

Shallow, rapid breaths in and out passed through Jasper's lungs. Alice's image turned over in his mind as her words sounded in his ears.

"_Come home."_

The blunt metal of the soldier's rifle pushed Jasper forward until he was forced onto his hands and knees like an animal. Though he wouldn't lift his eyes, Jasper knew from the smell of blood that he was mere inches from Tanner's lifeless body. Was this his final resting place? Would his life end against the mud and rotting leaves of the German forest? Jasper heard the sodden earth squish beneath the man's boots as he stepped closer.

Jasper tensed, pressing his fingers into the mud go try to gain some leverage. His weight shifted to his left knee as he prepared to render a punishing kick with his right. He only had a second to think. He'd kick the man twice, in the knee and then the groin, hopefully forcing him to give up his weapon. He might not have enough time to roll out of the way of a shot, but he sure as hell wasn't going down without a fight. Jasper drew his breath and tensed for the strike.

"Vladimir, parar. ¡No!"

Jasper looked up to see a second Russian soldier barreling toward them. The man's hands were raised in supplication as he spoke. The second soldier's rifle was slung over his right shoulder, thus giving Jasper only one weapon to contend with for the moment. Seeing that his captor was distracted, Jasper shifted his weight once more and shot out a vicious kick in the direction of the soldier's right leg. Instead of connecting with the knee joint as Jasper had planned, he got him in the shin. It had to hurt, but was nowhere near the crippling force he'd intended. Jasper turned to render a second kick and reach for the solder's weapon when a sickening crack came across his cheek, making him literally see stars.

Pissed off and frightened by Jasper's attack, the one called Vladimir turned his emotions into vengeance. The butt of his rifle pounded mercilessly into Jasper's head, stomach and ribs. It was only the second soldier's weight shoving hard against Vladimir's shoulder that finally forced him to stop.

Dimitri screamed at Vladimir to stop, telling him that two dead Americans were not good for them. They needed to bring the escapee back, but since Vladimir had already killed him, this other one would have to take his place. Vladimir was not agreeable with the plan in the least. He'd prefer Stephan's wrath over allowing this filthy Yank to continue breathing. They argued back and forth for minutes while the bloody wretch moaned in agony at their feet.

Punishing pain throbbed throughout Jasper's entire body as the Russian's argued in their native tongue. The shouts of their unfamiliar language ripped through Jasper's mind. Every scream made him flinch, sending pain akin to stabbing knives through his chest with every gasp for air.

_Jesus, I can't breathe._

The cool, wet earth was the only comfort he had and he only wanted to sink beneath its wet blanket and sleep for a week. Unfortunately that was not something his captors were going to allow. Jasper cried out as the two men lifted his badly beaten body from the ground. Each man had a firm hand under his arms. Jasper's head lulled back as he struggled for full breaths against the blood flowing from his mouth and nose. The angle of the sun was moving behind them. Jasper struggled to clear his mind and think of anything other than the pain. He tried to concentrate on their direction, knowing that they were moving east which was further and further away from the Hussars and his only hope for rescue. Jasper knew that wherever they were taking him was bound to be worse than the situation at hand, but in his current state he could do little to stop it. As they moved forward, he felt the creeping onset of unconsciousness on the fringes of his mind. His body was heavy and sluggish. As they marched, Jasper belatedly realized that the fogginess he felt was definitely the result of the hit to his head.

Jasper tried to stay awake as they marched. He knew he needed to be familiar with the route they were taking so he could follow it when he eventually made his escape, but the throbbing in his head made it difficult to think of anything other than the blissful peace of sleep. Every time he felt his body fade, the one called Vladimir would place a punishing fist against his ribs to startle him awake against the pain. Jasper realized as the men would grunt and urge him forward, guessing that neither of them wanted to carry his lifeless body back to their camp.

The Russians continued arguing back and forth. Jasper figured he was lucky that the one he hadn't kicked was winning the verbal battle so far. Jasper silently acknowledged that if Vladimir had won, he'd likely no longer be breathing.

Jasper worked to focus his mind on anything that would keep the haze of unconsciousness at bay. Strategy and logic were difficult for his addled mind, but they were also his best chance at getting back to his unit. He knew the Hussars would have their evening meal and then turn in for the night. Camp was already set, but he had his pack with him so it was unlikely that he'd be reported missing until fall-in the following morning. Afton would have been the last man to see him. He'd tell him where he was and they'd send a search party out to look for him. They'd find Tanner's body…

_Tanner._

The weight of Tanner's dog tags suddenly felt much heavier in Jasper's pocket.

_Shit, what if the Hussars thought Tanner was me?_

Jasper had made motions to his captors asking if he could take one of Tanner's dog tags off the body. He wanted to have proof of where and how Tanner had been killed. His request was met with the sickening crack of a backhand by Vladimir, while the second Russian searched his person for weapons. His knife, mess kit, and supplies were all taken off him and thrown into his pack. Vladimir took Jasper's rifle, admiring the weapon before smiling snidely. He pointed Jasper's own rifle at his head then mockingly pointing it in the direction of their march. When Jasper refused to move, they hoisted him to his feet and threatened him with motions, promising more physical abuse if he didn't.

The second soldier had pulled the dog tags off of Tanner and placed them in Jasper's pocket. Perhaps it was an act of kindness, but now it seemed it was the worst thing Jasper could have had happen. Though they wore the same American uniform and both had blond hair, the similarities ended there. The patches on Tanner's uniform were different, signifying him as a member of the Pathfinder Squadron. Jasper prayed it would be enough for one of the Hussars to notice.

The four mile trek through mud with no feeling in his arms and uncooperative sluggish legs was brutal. With every stumble or fall, the one named Vladimir threatened Jasper with the butt of his rifle. Jasper should have been thankful that the deadliest part of the weapon was being pointed away from him, but the vicious thrusts that did make contact felt as merciless as ending his life all at once.

When they finally reached the outskirts of the camp, Jasper replaced his relief at the end of his journey with new fear. Barbed wire and metal gates with "HALT!" were his welcome. The red emblazoned across the sign possessed an eerie similarity to the blood of Captain Tanner, which still coated his hands. Jasper prayed that these words would not be the last ones he'd ever read before surrendering his own life's blood.

Vladimir stopped and spoke to the soldier who was guarding the gates. The soldier gave him a stiff nod in return and granted the trio passage. Jasper's heart began pounding heavily in his chest. His breaths came too quickly, spurred by both fear and revulsion. Every muscle in his body begged to run in the opposite direction of this place. He could practically smell the stench of death as the two Russians dragged him over the line. It was like being pulled toward a crypt. Paralyzing fear and claustrophobia seemed to squeeze out the remaining air in his lungs.

_I have to get out; I have to find a way out._

He gave one last glance over his shoulders toward the gate swinging closed while he struggled to keep his composure. Running now, while both unarmed and injured, would only get him shot. _No_, he needed to calm down and think.

_If Tanner could escape, then so could I. _

There was a nagging voice in the back of Jasper's head warning him to remember where Tanner now lay after his attempted escape, but he pushed it to the far back corner of his mind. Thoughts like that would get him nowhere. His training overpowered both his pessimism and common sense and forced him to focus on the layout of the camp. He had no idea how long he'd be out in the open before being restrained in a cell or chained to another POW.

At first glance, the camp appeared to be lightly manned. Jasper counted twelve Russian soldiers in his sights, though others could be in one of any number of buildings around the camp. The camp certainly appeared large enough to hold several thousand prisoners, but the activity surrounding him and the number of guards at the gate led Jasper to believe there were likely not more than fifty souls here.

Vladimir and his comrade dragged Jasper around the first building and toward what appeared to be the camp's central meeting place. It was then that Jasper first laid eyes upon a loosely organized group of Russian soldiers who'd been watching Jasper's progression through the gates. Vladimir saw them too and immediately yanked Jasper harder, forcing his body forward. Though no words had been spoken, Jasper quickly understood that he was about to be presented to the leader of the camp. Having no idea if he would be angered over Tanner's death or pleased to have a new prisoner, Jasper began dragging his feet to forestall the confrontation. It was a stupid move on his part. He should have known better than to try to delay, but he couldn't make himself move either. It was as if his mind blocked him from getting any closer to the impending torture. Vladimir's swift punishment, in the form of another fist to his ribs, ended Jasper's attempt to delay any further.

When the trio was less than twenty feet from the grouping, the formation changed into an angled line with the highest-ranking officer at the tip of the spear. The officer tossed his cigarette to the side and stared down Jasper and his captors.

Jasper tried to show no emotion despite the vice like grip Vladimir used to hold on to Jasper's arm. The tension felt by the men on either side of Jasper flared like a lit fuse.

Vladimir and the other Russian immediately froze, with jaws tensed, backs stock straight and Adam's apples bobbing. Each man raised an arm to formally salute their officer. The action left weakened Jasper struggling to balance under his own weight. The combination of his injuries and the long hike through the forest, proved to be too much to allow Jasper to hold himself up. He staggered once before falling to a knee and collapsing on his left shoulder like a side of beef.

The Russian officer glanced down upon Jasper impassively before addressing his soldiers. His arms were open in a friendly gesture, but Jasper could read the sarcasm in his body language. He called each soldier by his given name, granting Jasper the identity of the man who had argued to keep him alive, Demetri.

The Russian language was sharp in Jasper's ears. Though he had no understanding of their words, it was obvious that as the questions persisted, neither Vladimir's nor Demetri's answers were gaining them much favor with their superior. The officer turned to the men behind him and shouted out an order. Two men standing near the end of the line ran off like bats out of hell. The officer turned back and shouted at Vladimir and Demetri, causing both men to unfreeze from their positions to drag Jasper back to his feet. Clearly agitated with the situation, the officer pulled out another smoke, took a few long hits, and calmed significantly. It was almost as if the action forced him to reset his mask of composed authority.

Minutes passed without a word or a sound until five men approached the center square. Three were clearly American; the remaining two were the Russian soldiers who'd been dispatched earlier. Jasper's eyes flitted to the Russian officer. He watched as the officer's demeanor changed as the Americans approached. He barely disguised the look of disgust souring his face.

The Americans were led by middle-aged lieutenant colonel with a lame leg. He was flanked by a captain and a very young looking lieutenant. The lieutenant's demeanor was the easiest to read. He marched behind his colonel with a look of disappointment covering his features. At least that's what Jasper noticed the moment before the lieutenant's eyes met his. In an instant his expression morphed from one from disappointment and worry to flat out shock.

_They were expecting Tanner._

Jasper didn't have to ponder long before the Russian officer spoke again. His voice was loud enough for all to hear, but he was clearly directing his voice to another Russian soldier who stood several men down the spear. Two voices answered in reply.

"Tell him to strip," the American captain said from Jasper's right.

"Your clothing, take it off," the lower ranking Russian officer echoed in heavily accented English.

Jasper stared, dumfounded for a moment until Vladimir struck him in the shoulder forcing him once again to crumble to his knees. Jasper's eyes focused on the American translator, and although he didn't move a muscle he could see hatred for his captors burning in the captain's eyes.

The Russian officer spoke a second time, and again, two voices answered in English.

"Are you deaf? I said _now!_"

"Now, or ve shoot you."

Jasper's eyes flitted to the colonel who remained stiff and impassive. His outer shell was as strong as steel while the looks on the younger officers' faces spoke for him. Both the captain and the young lieutenant silently pleaded with Jasper to comply.

The Russian officer turned, calling his second in command forth. He shouted a few more sentences but before either translator could speak, the second in command brought forth a punishing kick to Jasper's stomach. The second in command knelt down and pulled the back of Jasper's shirt collar tightening the circle until the fabric dug deeply into Jasper's neck. In less than a second the tightened noose began cutting off his air. He shook Jasper hard as the translators finally spoke.

"You do not recognize _his_ rank before mine. I run this camp. I am your commander. I decide whether you live or die. And right now, I want you to take off your fucking clothes."

The Russian translator delivered a similar statement and at the end of it the officer currently suffocating Jasper pulled tighter on the collar once more until Jasper began to see spots before his eyes.

"_Da_?"

Jasper needed no translation, only air. He did his best to nod once against the force of the man's hold. Finally, the second in command released his grasp and a sputtering, coughing Jasper could only look up at the blue sky and pray for this nightmare to end.

Jasper only allowed himself one breath before he began pulling his hands to his chest to loosen the first button of his shirt. He chose to start there so he could remain on the ground and still make progress toward the order. Releasing the button at his neck relieved the imaginary noose he felt pulsing at his throat. After many failed attempts on his own, Jasper finally stood before the group in only his shorts. The Russian before him lifted his chin toward Jasper motioning for his last remaining article to fall. Demetri, who had held Jasper's arm while he'd struggled to remove his trousers, stepped forward once more to help Jasper balance. The officer lifted his arm to halt Demetri in his tracks.

Though Jasper valiantly attempted to remove the shorts on his own, he wound up once more on the ground. Only, now he had his underthings around his ankles. The senior Russian officer cackled loudly followed by a round of laughter from all of his men.

Jasper knew what the officer was after. He wanted him humiliated, broken and ignoring his own senior officer in order to submit to his command. Anything less than total submission would certainly get him killed.

_Be strong, be strong, be strong, _Jasper silently chanted.

Once again, Jasper was raised to his feet. His discarded clothing lay in a pile to his left. The officer barked out an order and this time four men went scrambling.

"Start a fire," the American captain spoke, only quietly this time.

"Light fire," the Russian sneered.

_Dear God._

Though his face betrayed nothing, both of Jasper's captors could feel the tremor in the arms holding up his naked body. Jasper knew that either his clothes were going to be burned or he himself would be consumed by the flames. He closed his eyes and began to pray.

_Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, t—_

After several minutes the Russian officer barked out a single word, snapping Jasper's eyes open. A pile of logs and some siding from the buildings had been tossed on a makeshift pyre. Papers and bedding had been stuffed like kindling into the open spaces. The officer stepped toward Jasper and met him square in the eye. He then flipped open the snap covering his pistol.

_Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven._

This time he turned and shouted out so loudly that anyone standing nearby or even hulled up in the nearby buildings would clearly hear him.

"Who was the guard on duty when the young one escaped?"

"Come, show me your face! Who let young American run?"

A single soldier stepped out from the left edge of the Russian line and made his way toward the officer.

"Daahveed?" the officer remarked in disbelief.

"_Da, Kapitan_," the man replied as he came to a halt not two feet from his commander.

The officer shook his head and looked at the ground. He lifted his left hand and placed it on Daveed's shoulder. Jasper watched as the officer took a deep breath and let it out slowly. For a moment, the crackle of burning wood was the only sound in the camp. Jasper only had a second to catch the look in Daveed's eyes as the officer pulled his weapon, pressed it up under Daveed's chin, and pulled the trigger.

Every man present recoiled at the sight of Daveed's lifeless body falling to the earth. The officer kicked him as if he was a rotten piece of fruit. Two more words fell from his mouth as he spat. Everyone held frozen at the sight. The officer shouted again and this time two men at the front of the Russian line lifted Daveed and tossed him onto the burning pyre.

The officer then turned and strode toward a table and benches that stood about ten feet away. To Jasper it looked almost like a picnic table, though tattered and run down from overuse. The officer sat on top of the table and motioned for Vladimir and Demetri to bring Jasper to him.

"Come sit, let us hear what you have to say."

"They're going to interrogate you," the American captain told him.

At this the Russian translator's right eye squinted. He obviously didn't like that the captain had edited the officer's words. The intention was still the same, but the current in the captain's tone inferred that Jasper needed to either comply or submit to a fate no better than Daveed's.

The officer called out once more and Jasper's pack and his clothing were deposited on the table behind the officer. Jasper was forced to sit at the feet of the Russian. His hands were folded and positioned on top of the table while his bare ass scraped the splinters on the seat. The goal was simple, abject humiliation and complete submission.

One article at a time was lifted from the pile, examined and then thrown onto the ground. The stripe on Jasper's uniform was ripped from its left sleeve and Alice's handkerchief was pulled from the pin that had held it next to his heart. After all of the clothing had been examined, Jasper watched from the corner of his eye as his things were then placed in a heap at the officer's side, only inches from his own clasped hands. The process was repeated with Jasper's pack, and Jasper nearly gave in when Alice's photograph and letters were put on display. He knew what they were doing, and they were very close to winning the battle.

_Please, Lord, give me strength, __please__._

Jasper closed his eyes, unable to witness anymore as mementos of his life were placed on display. Though Jasper never once let his eyes lift to look at the officer, he knew he was taking greedy pleasure in watching his torment. This sick bastard, who had shot his own man, was now intent on the information he was certain he'd make Jasper provide.

His words were as soft as a whisper. The lull of Jasper's ignorance was broken when the Russian translator spoke first.

"Your woman is very beautiful."

The sneer in the man's voice broke Jasper's trance and his head flicked to the left. He saw the barbarian trace the edge of Alice's soft cheek with his finger. Jasper's fingers strained against one another as he battled with himself for control.

"You have a beautiful girl," the American captain added. "Remember _that_."

_He can't touch her. He can't hurt her, _Jasper told himself. _You're the only one who's here._

He swallowed, trying hard to follow the captain's advice and calm his anger before he got himself killed. The officer spoke again, but this time there was no humanity only venom in his voice.

"Your name," the Russian soldier ordered.

"Tell him your name and rank, private."

Jasper took a deep breath and let the words roll of his tongue as they repeated from his memory.

"Jasper Allan Whitlock, Private, United States Army."

"Your unit and your mission."

"Tell him the company you belong to and what your orders are."

Jasper clamped down his jaw so hard he could break his own teeth.

"You won't be asked again, private," the American added.

The photograph of Alice appeared in Jasper's mind. He shut his eyes and prepared for his fate.

_I would have liked to have felt those lips just once, _he thought, _but if this is God's will…then so be it. _

Jasper didn't think of himself as a martyr, but he was no turncoat. He would rather die than give up his mission to an enemy. The Russian second in command scooped up Jasper's precious memories and began tossing them one by one into the flames.

_ His father's service medal from WWI_

_ A mason jar seal from his mother's pantry_

_ Sam's favorite baseball card, Robert (Lefty) Grove from the Philadelphia Athletic _

_ A ribbon from one of Emmie's braids_

_ A photograph of his nephews and the one of him and Seth_

_ The handwritten note from Bella with Alice's address_

_ Alec's canteen cover and one by one, all of Alice's letters inside it_

The Russian laughed then called out to his translator.

"You tell him and we stop."

"Tell them what they want to know and they won't burn the rest."

_Yes, they will. They'll do it anyway, and then they'll kill me._

Jasper shut his eyes, telling himself that they were just things. They couldn't take away the memories in his mind. The officer stood and slowly walked around Jasper still clutching Alice's photograph. This time he screamed in Jasper's ear.

"You want see her again, you tell him now."

But still, Jasper remained silent.

"No? _Niet?_ He kiss her goodbye for you."

The officer forced Jasper to watch as he stuck out his tongue and vulgarly licked Alice's face before tossing the picture into the flames. The officer shrieked loudly in frustration, at Jasper's non-compliance. He stalked back from the flames and pulled out his pistol. Instead of aiming it at Jasper he grabbed the young lieutenant and pressed the barrel to his temple.

"No more fucking around, you tell him now!" the translator ordered.

"Tell him _now_," the captain echoed, fear was evident in his command.

Before Jasper could even contemplate sacrificing his life or the young lieutenant's, he was struck from behind. His arms were pinned to the table by a huge forearm, while his head was wrapped within the iron grasp of a new foe.

"Now you listen to me. You _will_ tell the _Kapitan_ your unit and your mission, do you hear? I am the senior ranking officer here and I _order_ you to tell him."

The lieutenant colonel's grip tightened as he pulled Jasper's head further to the left. Just one quick snap and it would all be over. The Russian translator was working to keep up with the colonel's words, but the colonel ignored him to continue shouting at Jasper.

"I've spent the last six weeks keeping my gunner alive. I will not allow you, or your fucking stupidity, to get him killed. Tell him! Tell him _now_!"

As the stab of the colonel's words struck Jasper, Alec's words echoed in mind.

"_We march, we fight, and we follow orders without question. That's what soldiers do."_

The Russian officer shot once into the air before he gave his final order.

"Next one goes in head. Now, unit and mission."

Every fiber of Jasper's being fought against the words that fell from his lips.

"My unit is the 7TH Royal Hussars. Our mission is to liberate German POW camps and render aid on our march to Berlin."

With that, the colonel released Jasper whose head dropped and banged on the table before him. Jasper should have felt relieved but all he felt was agony and loss. Everything he'd held dear was gone and he began to cry at their loss. It wasn't the destruction of his treasured mementos, or his letters or even the loss of Alice's beautiful face that finally broke him. No, Jasper cried bitterly for the loss of his soul, in betraying his country and his men. Sobs poured out of him, shaking his despondent mind and fragile body to the core. He was now a coward and a traitor. There was no escaping the guilt that began clawing at his mind.

A scraping sound forced Jasper's wet eyes up to see the Russian officer drag Tanner's dog tags from the table. He pressed them hard into the lieutenant colonel's chest.

"We had a deal, Stephan," the colonel called out as Tanner's tags dropped into his open hand. "I lived up to my end, now give me what I asked for."

* * *

_A/N: This was obviously a pretty rough chapter. I'll be on Twitter around 8pm EST tonight to answer your questions and maybe give out a teaser for the next chapter. My twitter account is FirstBlushMom. I'll also post a campfire on A Different Forest around the same time. Stop by and say hello so I hear more than crickets all night long ; ) _

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think._

_-FirstBlush_

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: Chapter 20 - July 3, 1945**

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**Story reference: **Vladimir charges the bolt on his rifle to shoot Jasper

**Historical Significance: **Brief videos showing the history and how to load an AK-47

**Source: **http:/www(dot)gunslot(dot)com/videos/history-ak-47

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=DmoOeg034g8

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**Story reference: **Jasper describes what he sees as he enters the POW camp

**Historical Significance: **Photograph shows Allied prisoners awaiting the moment of their liberation from Stalag XIA

**Source:** http:/www(dot)pegasusarchive(dot)org/pow/S11A/PicSt_11A_LibWait(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Dahveed calls Stephan Kapitan.

**Historical Significance: **History of Russian Military ranks.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/History_of_Russian_military_ranks

* * *

**Story reference: **Stephan carries a pistol while Vladimir and Dimitri carry rifles.

**Historical Significance: **Only officers carried pistols as they were a poor choice for combat. Infantry favored the power of semi-automatic rifles like the AK-47 Developed by Mikhail Kalashnikov

**Source:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/AK-47

http:/ww2aa(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=gun&action=display&thread=1632

* * *

**Story reference: **Stephan's second in command burns Jasper's momentos one at a time including his bother Sam's favorite baseball card.

**Historical Significance: **Robert (Lefty) Grove was a pitcher for the Philadelphia Athletics in the 1930s

**Source: **(dot)net/lefty_grove/card_pictures/1934_butterfinger(dot)jpg


	21. Chapter 21 Stalag IA

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: I enjoyed chatting with you guys on Twitter last week. I'll be on Twitter again around 8pm EST tonight to answer questions. My twitter account is FirstBlushMom. I'll also have a teaser on the Fictionators site on Monday. _

* * *

**Stalag XIA**

"Your word, Stephan," the colonel called out loud enough to be sure the translator standing next to Stephan heard him clearly.

Stephan sneered at the colonel before calling the translator forth. Out of the corner of his eye Jasper saw a small glass vial being handed to the colonel.

_What in that vial could possibly be worth giving up our military?_

The encounter was brief, but Stephan had the last word, ordering his prisoners back to their barracks. The two Americans who were with the colonel came to Jasper's aid, helping him get dressed.

"I'm Collin, thanks for not getting me shot," he said with a weak smile.

"Shut up, Collin," the captain admonished. "Let's just get him dressed and back to the barracks. I'm Quinlan, but I go by Quil." Jasper only nodded in reply, too tired and in too much pain to do anything else. "Come on, let's start from the bottom and we'll work our way up."

It didn't escape Jasper's attention that every time the captain tried to help him, he'd wince in pain. Jasper wasn't sure which one of the two of them was in worse shape. Collin seemed to manage the best out of any of them. The process was slow but once he was finally dressed, the men pulled Jasper's arms over their shoulders and made their way to the living quarters. Once on the other side of the dilapidated barracks door, the four men were rushed by no less than ten soldiers, all of them were American airmen, like the colonel and Collin.

"Sir?" the closest one asked the colonel upon seeing Jasper.

"One thing at a time, Lieutenant Call, first get this man something to eat and drink. I'm going to see Jake."

The colonel walked to the far end of the barracks and squatted down to talk to a man lying in a bunk. Jasper couldn't hear what was being said, but he saw the colonel open the vial from Stephan and pour some of its contents out onto the man's hand.

A tin cup of water and some crusty bread was placed in front of Jasper.

"It's not much," the lieutenant said sheepishly, "but it will have to hold you until we can get more."

Jasper greedily began inhaling the plate until the colonel came up behind him and caught his wrist.

"Slow down, Whitlock. It will keep you full longer."

Jasper had no patience and no deference for this man who had ordered him to betray his country. He stood and turned on the man who called himself an officer and shoved a finger hard against his chest.

"Why should I listen to a damn word you say? You just ordered me to betray my unit, my mission, and my country! You're a traitor, and you made me one too."

Before Jasper had even finished his breath the colonel had picked him up by the shirt and thrown him on the ground. His face was beet red with exertion and his entire body shook with fury. Sweat poured from his temples and Jasper could see the edge of restraint he was clinging to as he spoke.

"You _will_ listen to me, _Private _Whitlock, because I am the senior officer here. It is my job to keep you and every other man in this camp alive. It is your job to follow my goddamned orders. You will do as I say without question, or so help me I will kill you myself."

By this point all the men within striking range were huddled over the colonel, offering to either assist him in beating the living shit out of Jasper or aid in getting the colonel back on his feet. The colonel held up his hand to still the men in order to finish making things perfectly clear for the young private.

"You may be hurt. You may be scared. You may be confused, but what you are _not_ is ignorant of your rank or mine. You will not be given leeway a second time, am I clear, private?"

Jasper's ears were ringing. The pain in his ribs and his head were both throbbing like they had their own pulses. Despite being practically knocked senseless, Jasper still he knew he'd just screwed up. He could practically feel Alec kicking his ass.

"Yes, sir," Jasper replied.

Two years of military service engrained a certain deference to superiors and try as he might, Jasper couldn't break his mind free from that programming.

"EXCUSE ME, PRIVATE?"

"YES, SIR!" Jasper shouted.

Collin and Lieutenant Call squatted down to help the colonel up to his feet, but he waved them off, placing a steady hand on the table in front of him. Try as he might to muffle his groan and cover the grimace on his face, it was easy to see the colonel was in pain. Jasper wondered how the colonel had twice been able to subdue him despite the colonel's obvious injuries.

The tension in the room eased a bit when the colonel reached out a hand to help Jasper to his feet. The colonel's stare was piercing as he pointed to the table and Jasper's unfinished food.

"As I was saying, eat slower. The food will hold longer until they decide to feed us again."

"When might that be, sir?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Tonight, if we can finagle something out of the guards, but most likely not until mid-day tomorrow."

Jasper nodded slowly, wishing he'd taken the colonel's advice sooner.

"Colonel, sir? Any word of Bobby?" Collin asked.

"Men, I'm sorry," the colonel began, as he looked around the camp. "Tanner didn't make it."

All the men within Jasper's sight visibly swallowed as the colonel laid Tanner's dog tags on the table beside Jasper's plate. Lieutenant Call shook his head in disbelief.

"How?"

The colonel looked over at Jasper.

"Men, this is Private Jasper Whitlock of the 7th Hussars. Vladimir and Demetri brought him to camp. Whitlock," the colonel said, turning to gesture to the men surrounding him. "These are the surviving members of the Ninth Air Force First Pathfinder Squadron."

Jasper nodded solemnly to the surrounding faces both somber and eager for answers. Unfortunately, what Jasper had to tell them wasn't going to be the message they wanted.

"Do you know what happened, Whitlock?" Collin asked.

"I know pieces," Jasper began, still unsure of how much he should tell the colonel or how the information might wind up betraying his brethren again.

"Tell us what you know then," a deep voice called from the outskirts of the circle.

All heads turned to see a large muscular man with deep brown eyes staring blankly at the assembly before him. His shoulders were draped with a blanket, but his appearance showed he hadn't slept recently. He was drenched with sweat and shaking badly. Jasper was dumbfounded, wondering why a man would need a blanket in the July heat when the realization hit him all at once.

_He's sick. The colonel was bargaining for medicine._

"Jake, get back to bed," the colonel ordered.

"We both know that it should have been me who went out, sir. I'd like to sit and listen, colonel," Jake requested. "I'll be alright," he added quietly. "I think the stuff they gave you is helping."

"Get him some more water," the colonel ordered.

Lieutenant Call scrambled off only to return a few seconds later and place a cup in Jake's trembling hands.

"You helped Tanner escape?" Jasper asked, though he already knew the answer.

Though the question was directed at the colonel, Quil was the one who answered his question.

"Yes, he went out through a tunnel I dug."

Jasper shook his head in disbelief; it had to be at least five hundred feet to the fence line.

"We've been here almost eight weeks," Quil added, answering Jasper's unspoken question. "The tunnel was started by whichever poor bastards were here before us. It's strong as hell too. They had it trussed so it wouldn't cave in on you as you crawl out."

"_Enough_, Quil! We keep giving him information, but we're getting none in return," Jake barked, lifting an eyebrow in challenge at Jasper. "What's an _American_ doing with a British troop like the Hussars anyway?"

"Jake," the colonel cautioned. "Give Whitlock a little leeway in answering our questions. He has a right to be cautious. We have to do some work to earn his trust."

"What?" more than one voice called out.

"Though I'm certain Whitlock won't be mouthing off again," the colonel paused to look pointedly at Jasper. "He is right about one thing. I ordered him to betray his mission to the Russians."

"I don't understand. Why, sir?" Collin began, speaking for all the men in the room, including Jasper.

The colonel smiled a bit and rubbed Collin's head.

"Whitlock, do you have any idea why we're all here even though the war is over?"

Jasper licked his bottom lip in consternation and looked around the room. His earlier mistrust of Stalin was only exacerbated by his current predicament.

"Well, this morning the Hussars were talking about liberating POW camps south of Hamburg. They described how the Russian soldiers in the camp wanted to defect, that they didn't want to go back to Russia. The Russians told them they'd be shot or sent to the _Gulags_ as traitors."

The colonel nodded and encouraged Jasper to continue.

"I'm guessing the Russians keeping us has something to do with that."

"It does," Quil replied.

"Quil's right," the colonel confirmed. "Ever play chess, Whitlock?"

Though the question was likely rhetorical, Jasper nodded anyway.

"We're all pieces in the chess game. The soldiers are the pawns and Stalin wants his pawns back. At the very least, he doesn't want anyone else to have them or use them against him. When you're playing a high stakes game and you're in danger of losing your pawns you make certain counter moves. See where I'm going?"

"We're Stalin's bargaining chips," Jasper sighed. "If he can't keep his own soldiers from trying to defect, he can at least force the hands of the British and Americans by holding some of their own."

"Bingo," Quil answered.

"But if you're in here, how did _you _figure it out?"

"They let the Dutch and the Belgian POWs go," Jake sneered.

The colonel nodded after Jake, continuing from there.

"The agreement the Big Three made at Yalta allowed for repatriation of soldiers between the British, American and Russian armies. Stalin gains no power by holding any soldiers other than the doughboys and Tommys. When Stephan and his men liberated the camp, they created what they called an "orderly" evacuation. In truth, they were just segregating the prisoners that were of any value to them and setting the others free. We were just unlucky enough to be downed at the end of the war and brought here just before they liberated the camp."

"Is there anyone else still here? I mean besides us and the soldiers under Stephan?"

The colonel nodded. "The Russian soldiers who were once POWs are here too."

"Any idea what their next move is?" Jasper asked.

"We're not staging an uprising against the guards if that's what you're suggesting. I admire your enthusiasm, private, but that would be suicide. We're unarmed and most of us are still nursing injuries from when our planes went down. No," the colonel shook his head. "The best way out of here is by having our own friendlies release us. That's where the Hussars come in."

Jasper's eyes grew wide.

"Then why the h—" Jasper caught himself before he again found himself in hot water with his new superior. He looked down at the table and pulled in a deep breath to settle himself. "Sir, with all due respect, then why did you have me tell the Russians about the my unit and their mission?"

"What _mission_?" Jake barked in frustration.

"I've been traveling for the last week with the 7TH Royal Hussars," Jasper began, finally opening up to the airmen. "Our mission is to liberate German POW camps and render aid on our march to Berlin. But now, the Russians know all this too. They can attack the Hussars and gun them down."

"I highly doubt that, private. Stephan doesn't have the men to go after a unit of that size nor do they want that kind of overt provocation. No one wants to start another war, and slaughtering a unit won't keep their actions below the public radar. No, they need a quiet but effective approach to getting what they want."

"Then how does telling them the mission help us?"

"Let me tell you a little bit about strategy, Whitlock. First of all, you need to know your opponent before you make a move. Stephan would have surely shot you if you didn't give him what he wanted. He already has a handful of us and another dead American is one less mouth to feed. Now, you may have been willing to give up your life, and in some respects I admire you for it, but I wasn't about to give him Collin when there was another way. Yes, now he knows about the Hussars, but the information also forces his hand. He has to take action. He can't just keep us here and wait for more orders. The Hussars are going to realize that you're missing and are bound to come looking for you."

Jasper wondered that if the colonel was right, then why had Demetri argued with Vladimir to spare his life? He'd have to push that question aside for now.

"If Stephan knows this too, then he's bound to move us further into the Russian occupied zone."

"Agreed, but he'll need a little time to get mobile. Moving sixty odd men and enough supplies to support them requires a little pre-planning. He has to inform his superiors and confirm when and where he'll meet up with another unit. We don't have that same complication."

"What do you mean, colonel?"

The colonel looked past Quil, to the ill soldier sitting before him.

"I mean we're not going to wait for Stephan to make the first move. We're going to get word to the Hussars ourselves. Jake, can you muster?"

"Yes, sir."

"Whitlock, what are your injuries?"

Jasper took a deep breath, testing to see if everything hurt as much as it did before.

_It did._

"Nothing's broken, sir, just bruises from Vladimir's hits."

"Good. You know the way better than anyone else here. Both of you get some shuteye. In twelve hours we're sending you out through the tunnel."

Colonel Uley lifted his hand to rub it back and forth over his lips. He was sending out one battered soldier who could barely walk, and a second who'd been shaking with fever for two days. The odds weren't great, but it was the best he could do. Jake was strong and smart. As for Whitlock, he'd proven himself to be both brave and loyal. He just needed to think before spouting off like a loose cannon, but at least knew the path back to the Hussars. The colonel believed that with two men going out and dividing the Russians who would search after them, they'd have a better shot of at least one of them reaching the friendlies. The plan certainly had its risks. Stephan would be enraged over a second escape and more than just his own nephew would likely be executed in retaliation. This time there'd be no convincing Stephan that the escape happened without the colonel's knowledge. The repercussions the rest of them would face would be severe if not deadly. The colonel was banking on the fact that they still held value for Stephan's superiors. If they didn't, none of them would make it out of this alive. Still, the colonel's alternative of being marched like cattle into Russia to serve in the Gulags wasn't any better. He looked into Jake's eyes first and then to Jasper's.

"I just pray to God that you can get to the Hussars in time."

* * *

_A/N: _I could use some happy this week, share some of yours?

Thanks,

FirstBlush

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Ch 21 Stalag IA

**Story reference: **Colonel Uley introduces Jasper to what remains of the Ninth Air Force First Pathfinder Squadron.

**Historical Significance: **The Ninth Air Force First Pathfinder Squadron flew last ever B-26 Mission May 3, 1945. **Location:** European Theater, England and France.

**Source:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/List_of_units_using_the_B-26_Marauder_during_World_War_II


	22. Chapter 22 Decoy

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: _Take a look at the amazing review for The Long Way Home posted on The Twigasm last week. http:/thetwigasm(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=b65f2669df5c9df7 Thank you adt216!

* * *

**Decoy**

Twelve hours later Jake and Jasper were stuffing the meager rations offered by the Pathfinders into cloth sacks. Colonel Uley handed each man a makeshift knife.

"I thought you didn't have any weapons," Jasper muttered to himself.

The colonel had been right when he thought Jasper was of a mind for them to rush their Russian captors. The colonel knew any attempt to get the upper hand with makeshift weapons was foolish.

"A shank knife won't do you much good against an AK-47. This isn't a weapon. It's for cleaning your kills. Am I right to assume that you know how to rustle up your own supper, Whitlock? I know the tribe taught Jake here to hunt. Can you do the same?"

Jacob Black was an imposing man of good, healthy stock. His dark eyes and russet colored skin were indicative of an Indian heritage, though Jasper couldn't be sure of which tribe nor was he inclined to ask. Time was of the essence. They needed to get going and set as much distance as possible between themselves and the camp before the morning headcount.

"Yes, sir." Jasper nodded. He'd have no trouble putting his hunting skills to use if necessary.

"Good. The best case for us is if you make it to the Hussars before needing your next meal, but I'm not foolish enough to think that the best case is also the most likely case," the colonel said pointedly. "I wasn't exaggerating when I said this wasn't a weapon. If you hold it too low on the handle the shank will break in half. If you're left with no other option to defend yourselves, use it like this."

The colonel stepped back and pinched the blade between his fingers. Then he grabbed Collin and trapped his arms. The colonel wrapped his fingers around the blade and made a motion to stab Collin in the thigh. Then he quickly flipped the blade, turned and reached up to slice the jugular. Even though the movements were intentionally slow for demonstration purposes, Collin looked more than a little relieved to be released from the colonel's firm hold.

"It isn't pretty, but it's effective."

Jasper nodded and Quil stepped forward and laid a nearly translucent piece of paper in the colonel's hands. He walked toward the window allowing the moonlight to fall upon the makeshift map.

"All right, Whitlock, show me again."

Jasper complied, tracing his finger along the path that would lead them back to the Hussars. Jake followed Jasper's motions taking a longer alternative route slightly further west. The colonel ordered Jake, the less injured of the two men, to take the longer route. Jasper wished briefly that he'd hung onto the button compass that Captain Winterbotham had given him back when he first visited Seth in Heathfield. He shook his head thinking of how thoroughly his clothing had been examined by Stephan's men before he'd been allowed to redress. Even if he hadn't sent it to Alice, it wouldn't likely be in his possession either. He'd just have to rely on Perseus, Orion, and Libra to guide his way. Absently, Jasper touched his belt buckle, taking some solace that at least one physical reminder of Alice was still with him. He wasn't sure if it was precognition or just dumb luck that he'd carefully placed Alice's words inside the bar only two nights earlier. He didn't care either way; right now he'd take all of the good fortune he could get.

"One more thing, take off your dog tags."

_What?_

The colonel saw both Jake and Jasper's eyes go wide with confusion. Dog tags were their only sure form of identification if they were killed. They were the one way the men could be assured that if they were found, at least their bodies would make it home.

The colonel pulled Tanner's tags from his pocket and slipped off one handing it to Jasper.

"Give one of your tags to Jake. Then take one of his and Tanner's and put it on your chain. The Hussars will need some sort of proof that we've been captured before sending men into the Russian occupied zone."

Jake handed Jasper a tag. In turn, Jasper watched as Jake took Tanner's tag and placed it on the same chain as his own. It looked like a silent homage to his fallen brother. Jake then put Jasper's tag on Tanner's empty chain and threw that over his head as well. The colonel turned and nodded for Jasper to follow suit. Three tags now hung from Jasper's chain. It felt odd to have other men's names placed against his skin, but the colonel was right. They were going to need proof and if Jake and Jasper both weren't able to make it to the Hussars to corroborate one another's stories, then the tags would certainly help. Jasper told Jake that if they were separated he was to ask for Afton, and relay the story of the "trench rot" to help confirm his story.

With one hearty slap on the back, Jake grinned and slid between the loose floorboards beneath the colonel's bunk. The hole was pitch black and the scent of sodden earth wept up from where Jake's departure had displaced the air. Jasper nodded once to his fellow inmates, a silent wish of good luck passed among them, before he dropped into the abyss.

jj**JJ**jj

Jasper made his way through a seemingly endless path of mud praying the tunnel hadn't flooded once the rains of the past few days had settled into the earth. He knew for certain that turning around in the tight space wasn't an option. He had mere inches of space between his shoulders and the walls of the tunnel, and for once he was thankful he wasn't the size of a man like Jake. Though Jasper didn't consider himself claustrophobic, the pitch dark surrounded him like a tomb. It was only the scrape of Jake's progress up ahead of him that let him know he wasn't totally alone. The company wasn't enough to comfort him, but it at least kept him from losing his mind. Mentally he calculated the number of inches forward he'd made with every movement. He translated that into repeating the same action of inching along about five thousand times before he'd again breathe fresh air. By his estimate, five thousand crawls forward at two seconds each roughly translated into three hours beneath ground.

Jasper sucked in a deep breath. The surrounding air was thick with wet and damp. His immediate thoughts were about getting out of this hell hole one miserable inch at a time. Wallowing in how miserable his current situation was would do nothing but deepen his misery, so he put those thoughts aside and decided to do something productive with the time. He needed a damn good plan and contingency plans as well. He knew once he was free of the tunnel he'd be running as fast as he could so he was determined to save his leg strength as much as possible. He'd pause after every five hundred crawls for some water. He'd certainly cramp if he tried to run eight miles while dehydrated and slowing down to recover wouldn't do the Pathfinder Squadron any good. The longer Jasper took to return with the Hussars, the more likely Colonel Uley and his men would be gone by the time he did. The weight of so many lives counting on him felt heavier than any mission he'd ever held before. There were faces to go with these names, and letters home weighing down the sack that was tied to the rope leading from his belt.

He needed to find Lt. Col. Wainman, show him his proof and then do his damnedest to convince him that the Pathfinder Squadron was in desperate need of their help. Thoughts of grabbing the first weapon he could find and running back to the camp crossed his mind before he squashed it to come up with a levelheaded plan. The Hussars were already heading for Berlin. They'd have to cross through the Russian occupied zone. If Jasper couldn't convince the Hussars to depart immediately he could at least suggest diverting off the path to Berlin to find the camp once the Russians allowed their passage. It wasn't the best plan to wait, but it might be better than taking the Russians head on. Like Colonel Uley said, no one wanted a war and overtly provoking the Russians would be foolish. No, if the Russians could silently take our soldiers then we could just as quietly take them back. Once they were in the Hussar's custody, the Russians would have a much harder time keeping an attack on an entire unit and one as well known as the Hussars under wraps. From there, Col. Wainman would know how to push the information back to headquarters. At the very least Jasper could contact Colonel Swan himself. He'd do his best to make sure any other soldiers abducted like the Pathfinders would be freed as well.

Jasper's arm muscles felt the strain of each movement and his ribs ached from his heavy breaths. He'd forgotten what number he was on but decided to stop for a drink. The cool water of his canteen brought him back to his surroundings. He was on his sixth stop for water and he fervently prayed that his rough calculations were right.

_I'm surely through the worst of it, right?_

Though his muscles begged for a longer reprieve, Jasper pushed on. Too many men, too many families were counting on him and Jake being successful. Jasper's thoughts drifted to his family farm, to mucking Ria's stables and re-digging the fence line with his old man. As soon as the thought of home appeared in mind, so did Alice. She'd be dressed in a flowered dress that would billow around her hips. Her dark hair would tousle in the breeze. He'd sit atop Ria at the edge of the ridge and watch as her own horse trotted up to stand beside his. He could almost feel her soft lips press against his own, beckoning him to the safe and quiet port found only in her embrace. Her hand would lift and delicate fingertips would trace the line of his jaw, forcing his eyes closed to revel in her touch. He'd turn his cheek and press his lips against the palm of her hand before sliding it down over his heart. Light would cascade through her brown waves, setting off the red hues of the afternoon sun. Her kiss would be like fresh air to his soul, washing away the memories of these days and bringing the promise of a happy home and a good life together.

_Come home._

Her words from that one call in Stroud again sounded in his ears. He could feel the words on her lips as she leaned across the distance separating them to press her lips to his once more. "Come home," she whispered against his lips before leaning back in her saddle. The loss of her lips felt like cool, lonely air and Jasper longed to reclaim the closeness of her body.

A sound up ahead reminded Jasper of his location in the tunnel. The scraping gave way to the barest hint of sunlight and Jasper's heart pounded at the realization that he was nearing the end of his misery. One final sound came through before it vanished like smoke in the wind. It was Jake. He'd paused for the briefest of moments to call back to his partner before slipping into the morning sun.

"Good luck."

Jasper slipped through a small opening in the brush that concealed the hole only minutes after Jake. He turned back toward the camp only to orient himself before breaking into his run. The sun was coming up quickly and Perseus was a distant friend who'd laid down his head for the daylight hours.

_Dammit, we took too long coming through the tunnel._

They all knew it was a long shot but had hoped they'd be through the tunnel with enough moonlight left to guide their way back to the Hussars. Now, Jasper only had a foggy memory and a makeshift map to guide him.

The faint call of activity at the camp was enough to startle Jasper out of his stupor and send him running in a direction that he hoped would lead him to the Elbe.

jj**JJ**jj

By his best guess, Jasper thought it had taken him roughly an hour and a half to make his way through the forest. The uneven path through untamed lands was almost as bad as his first trip only a day before. It was only the absence of Vladimir's quick fist that made the trip less painful. Every breath pulled against his aching ribs and brought with it a new round of pain. Still, he pushed his body to find the strength to keep going. His legs ran on, fueled more by determination than strength. His belly, only vaguely remembered the last time it had been full. The crummy coffee he had yesterday around the morning campfire, now seemed like heaven on earth. He longed to return to the oasis of leadership, allies, and enough firepower to blast Stephan back into hell. He'd be the first in line to give the sadistic son of a bitch a taste of his own medicine.

Jasper could feel the bitter lust for revenge well up like poison in his mouth. The hatred couldn't be swallowed down or spat out upon the ground. No, he'd only rid himself of the taste once Stephan felt an ounce of the fear he'd struck in his own nephew, Dahveed. The bitterness pulsed through him, pushing him to his destination, to return to the strength found within the numbers of likeminded souls.

He came up to the edge of the tree line and paused to listen for the familiar sounds of English voices before stepping out into the open.

_Silence._

Jasper listened harder, opening up his senses to the sounds and smells of his unit, but none called out to him.

"Shit," Jasper whispered to himself as he edged through the trees.

_What if the unit had been captured? Holy hell. How am I going to get them all out of this?_

The idea of all of them being captured was never a scenario flushed out with the Pathfinders. Now, as the solitude of the forest stared back at him, panic began to rear its ugly head.

"They're gone."

Jasper spun in the direction of the voice calling from across a break in the trees. He reached for the makeshift dagger the colonel had handed him and wrapped the blade tightly in his grip.

"I got here a short while before you did and scouted up and down the tree line. There's no sign of them, save the ash from the last campfires."

It was true, a distance beyond where Jake had popped out of the trees was the final bones of a fire pit. The blackened ground and grey ash were all that remained.

"They couldn't have been gone too long?" Jasper asked more of himself than of Jake directly.

Jake shook his head.

"Their embers are cold," Jake announced motioning to the ashen remains of a campfire. "I'd say they left sometime yesterday."

This time it was Jasper's turn to shake his head.

"The Russians must have given them passage. We were all eager to be on our way and get to Berlin. I wonder," Jasper began sarcastically, "if Stephan was able to get word out about our mission. He could have influenced his comrades at the border to let the Hussars through. If they were in a hurry to make up for lost time, they'd be less likely to veer off the path and discover the POW camp."

"We've got to catch up to them."

"Agreed," Jasper confirmed. "Even with stops for meals, the Hussars cover between eighteen and twenty miles each day. If they left in the middle of the night, I'd say they're about twelve miles ahead of us by now."

"We need to split up," Jake began. "By now Stephan's figured out that we've escaped. He's at least sent Vladimir and Demetri after us, maybe even a few others."

Jasper thought about it. Although he subscribed to the idea of strength in numbers, he couldn't argue with Jake. In his current condition, he'd likely slow Jake down and it was vitally important that at least one of them made it to the Hussars. He pulled out the fragile map from Quil and walked over to Jake.

"This is the path the Hussars are on," Jasper said, tracing the path with his finger. "Even with their advance you should catch them in about three hours. Just stay south of their path and hunker down if you come across any more of Stalin's army. I'm not exactly sure of where the occupation lines are drawn, but it's best to assume that they have all of it."

Jasper looked up to see if Jake was following and understood the path but his eyes were on a different part of the path. He was following the Elbe.

"I'm going back to find Bobby's body."

"What?"

"You're going after the Hussars, and I'm going to draw off Stephan's men."

"Jake, what? Are you, crazy? No, going back in that direction is suicide."

"Only if they catch me."

"Jake, you're in better shape than I am right now. You can catch up to the Hussars faster. You go and I'll draw them off."

"Who are the Hussars more likely to believe, you or me?"

"It doesn't matter. We both still have to convince them to come."

"It does matter! There are twenty-three guys depending on us to make it to the Hussars and you're their best chance. Bobby shouldn't have been the one to go in the first place. I want to see him for myself and say goodbye."

"We should both go after the Hussars, just vary our paths so they can't catch both of us."

"No, you'll have a better shot if I keep them chasing after me in the wrong direction."

"Jake, I won't agree to this. There's got to be a better way."

"You don't have to agree. You're not my superior. I have a duty to my unit, just as you do to yours. I've been cooped up in that camp for eight damn weeks. I've watched our spirits drain and our bodies wither. I've been living on scraps for weeks. You will have more endurance than I will if it takes any longer to reach the Hussars. My energy is spent after the run here. I made it here, but I don't think I have enough in me to make another twelve today. You _have _to do it, Jasper."

Jasper's fists curled in frustration. Jake made some sense. He'd been sick for a few days and probably didn't have the stamina. Still, Jasper blanched at the idea of knowingly sending him back in the direction of Stephan's henchmen.

"Besides," Jake said as he clapped Jasper's shoulder. "It's not like I'm going to let the bastards catch me. Eventually, they'll give up chasing me and head back for you, so you best get your ass in gear."

Jasper heaved a heavy breath. "I'll do everything I can for you."

"Get going," Jake urged again, this time giving Jasper a hard shove. "Just...just don't get caught."

Jasper nodded, staring up into the dark brown eyes of the airman before him. He thrust out his hand giving Jake's a firm shake. He didn't know what to say, too much was riding on him and precious seconds continued to pass, allowing the distance between Jasper and the Hussars to only grow.

A silent agreement passed between the two men. Jasper released Jake's hand, slung his sack over his shoulder then turned to run. He looked back only once to try and memorize the face of the man who would willingly become his decoy. It was a near suicide mission and both men knew it.

"_Just don't get caught."_ Jake's words echoed in Jasper's head, to which he silently replied, _ditto._

* * *

A/N: Next week we'll hear from Alice. The chapter will pick up about two weeks from this one, which is about the third week of July 1945.

Thank you for sharing some happy thoughts last week. Your reviews made me smile.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

-FirstBlush

* * *

**The Long Way Homeland ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 22 - Decoy

**Story reference: **Jasper was handed a map from Quil to help him find his way back to the Hussars.

**Historical Significance:**Ingenious methods were used to create & smuggle maps to POWs. Maps were even hidden within "MONOPOLY" game pieces. This version of the game was created by John Waddington LTD and licensed from Parker Brothers, for the British Secret Service.

**Source:**http:/wwii(dot)memorieshop(dot)com/Escape-Maps/index(dot)html

http:/www(dot)escape-maps(dot)com/map_list_history_wwii_us_tissue(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Jake and Jasper escape through a tunnel created by the prisoners of Stalag IA

**Historical Significance:**This link tells the story of The Mole, Britain's most prolific PoW tunnel digger in World War II

**Source: **http:/www(dot)dailymail(dot)co(dot)uk/news/article-1066849/The-Mole-Britains-prolific-PoW-tunnel-digger-World-War-Two-dies-aged-95(dot)html


	23. Chapter 23 July 18, 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: This chapter is for the man who won me my own purple elephant many years ago._

* * *

**July 18, 1945 ~ Tilt a Whirl**

"I have sand in the most uncomfortable places imaginable,"Alice said.

"Thanks for sharing such a remarkable insight, Alice, I never would have imagined that being buried in sand would leave you feeling that way."

Serena squealed in delight and lifted her tiny yellow shovel to throw another helping of sand over Alice's belly.

"And you, little one," Alice growled. "Don't come crawling to me looking for treats when we go to Steel Pier tonight."

"Oh, Alice," Bella sighed. "It serves you right for putting her in this ridiculous floppy hat. She can barely see what she's doing."

"I happen to think she looks adorable," Alice retorted. "She's the envy of every other baby up and down the shoreline."

"The only way another one year old would be envious is if she had an ice cream cone hidden under that hat."

"Shut up or I'm buying you one too."

Bella laughed and helped her daughter heft a huge shovelful of sand on her godmother's stomach.

"God, you're so lucky you're pregnant. Bella Swan—" Alice began menacingly.

"Masen," Bella corrected.

Alice only rolled her eyes.

"Hey, look what I found!"

Both Alice and Bella looked up to see a dripping wet and bare chested Edward running in their direction. A huge smile spread across his face from ear to ear as held up a tiny white object. Though it was probably only a shell, he held it as if he'd just found the Hope diamond.

The women stared both in nearly a daze as the gorgeous man approached them. Each woman looked after his broad shoulders and rippled abdomen as he trudged out of the water and through the pocked sand dunes. Bella smirked thinking lustful thoughts of her and Edward alone and naked in the sand.

_Who says pregnancy hormones can't be fun?_

Alice really couldn't hide her stare, but as she gazed appreciatively, she imagined what her own muscled soldier would look like as he made his way out of the surf to find her.

Oblivious to the thoughts of either woman, Edward dropped to his knees before his child and stretched out his hand. Serena lifted a tiny chubby finger and touched the hard yellow shell before lifting her eyes to her father for approval.

"Do you like it, baby? I found it for you. It's a tiny conch shell. If you hold it to your ear, you can hear the ocean."

Edward lifted the shell to his ear and then moved it to Serena's. Serena turned her head, more interested in looking at the shell than listening for the ocean roar as Edward had intended.

"She only has to lean towards the water to hear the ocean, Edward," another voice mocked.

Edward turned his head to see Rosalie standing above him as she laid her hands on her hips. She too was dripping from her dip in the ocean. Rosalie only had a moment to smirk self-righteously at Edward before her fiancé came up behind her and literally swept her off her feet. Rosalie screamed out in protest as Emmett ran back toward the water. Once he was waist deep, he playfully tossed his beloved into the sea like a plated offering to King Triton.

The three friends on the shore laughed loudly as Rose resurfaced and mounted Emmett's shoulders in an attempt to return the favor. Emmett, being a rather large man, only laughed while tossing Rose over his shoulder and back into the sea.

"I'll go see if I can help Rose," Alice began as she wiggled out from underneath her sandy tomb. "I need to get the sand out of my suit, and Emmett can't withstand both of us if we fight dirty."

With that Alice tore off toward the sea feeling the freedom of the wind to running through her hair. She hadn't felt this free and light since she was a little girl. The sun sparkled off the waves as she ran. Alice shivered despite the ninety degree weather as she plunged into the water. The bite of the cool ocean on her calves almost made her turn back toward the hot, dry sand but Alice quickly put that thought to rest. The idea of returning to her post as Serena's personal sand castle urged her in the direction of her friends. Rose was still doing her level best to pull Emmett under, but it seemed that her only success was in wearing herself out.

Ignoring her own better judgment, Alice winked at Rose behind Emmett's back and dove beneath the waves. She immediately cursed herself as the cold water rushed through her swimsuit and pulled her nipples painfully taut. Ignoring the chill, Alice pushed against the resistance of the water and propelled herself towards her unsuspecting prey. She smiled to herself as she approached, relishing in the sinful simplicity of her plan. Emmett would be completely defenseless against her attack. Due to the strong undertow, Emmett's feet had been buried under several inches of sand. This helped him ward off Rosalie's attacks, but it left him unable to easily escape Alice's advance.

Alice grinned widely as she swam close to the ocean floor. Emmett's bare leg was mere inches from her outstretched fingers. With her fingers curved like talons, she sunk her nails into the meaty flesh of her prey.

On the water's surface, Emmett laughed at his beautiful girl's feeble attempts to pull him under. Rose was a strong woman indeed, but she was no match for the size and brute strength of her fiancé. Once again, Emmett pulled Rose into a searing kiss before lifting her high in the air and tossing her into the oncoming wave. Emmett, who was feeling quite proud of his own stamina, never suspected the oncoming attack. He grinned playfully as once again Rose broke the surface of the water to glare menacingly at him. Emmett knew she'd be frosty for a while after their game, but he also had a plan to get himself out of the icebox. Before Emmett could ruminate on his strategy for the evening, a man-eating fish savagely attacked him. A piranha, an anglerfish or possibly an eel had been stalking the shoreline looking for a warm-blooded meal. Emmett screamed and tried to escape the attack with his life but found his legs were entombed in the greedy quicksand of the ocean floor. The sand had now unforgivingly covered his ankles, giving his attacker the advantage.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!" Emmett screamed.

Before Emmett had a chance to take another breath, a second vicious attack came as the monster sunk its jaw into his calf.

"HELP! _HELP!_ IT'S GOING TO BITE OFF MY GODDAMNED LEG!"

By now, Emmett was completely panicked. The only thing saving him was the fact that his feet had finally been released from the sand's iron grasp. He took a stumbling step backwards and fell beneath the oncoming waves. Without a second thought, he sprang up and started running back to the safety of the shoreline. Not a glance was spared for his beloved until he reached the sand. Curses fell from his mouth like the water dripping off his back.

"I knew I never should have fucking left Tennessee. There are no goddammed monsters like _that_ on the Cumberland."

It was only when he'd caught his breath that he finally remembered Rosalie. Emmett turned back toward the waves and screamed.

"ROSE, GET OUT OF THE WATER!"

But Rosalie was too busy laughing to pay her man any mind. This only scared Emmett more because not only Rosalie was in danger but now little Alice was out there as well. The two of them were laughing and playing instead of getting the _hell_ out of the water.

Emmett screamed again, but his cries fell on deaf ears as the girls sauntered back towards the shore. By this time, Edward, Bella and Serena were all by the water's edge awaiting the girls' return.

"Emmett, are you okay?" Bella asked in her best attempt to stifle a laugh and sound sincere.

"No, I'm not okay! There's a shark or something in the water, and it nearly took my whole leg off!"

Emmett looked down and pointed toward his calf to demonstrate what the monster had done to it. He was expecting to find streams of blood and tattered skin but instead barely saw a few red marks. Emmett looked up in surprise only to see his girl and her little urchin sidekick emerge from the water and fall to their knees howling in laughter. It suddenly dawned on him that their hilarity was at his expense.

"How's your leg, Emmett?" Alice mocked as she made her fingers open and close like the jaw of a sharp-toothed menace.

Emmett's eyes grew wide as he finally put two and two together. "YOU! I'm going to drown you like a rat, Alice Brandon."

He took a menacing step toward Alice, but Edward put a hand to his chest to hold him back. Not only would Edward never willingly allow a man to put a hand on a woman, he took his promise to Jasper to keep Alice safe very seriously.

"Easy, Em, the girls were just having a little fun."

"Fun, my ass! She scared the hell out of me."

"Emmett, you're six foot four and easily two hundred and sixty pounds. Do you mean to tell me that a one hundred and ten pound woman got you to scream like a little girl and leave your fiancée in the wake?" Edward joked.

He raised his eyebrows at Emmett with a wide smirk gracing his face.

"Yeah," Rosalie chimed in. "Would you have left me to fend for myself if there had been a real monster out there?"

Emmett looked abashed at his turncoat demonstration, but Rosalie quickly relented on her attempt to get his goat. She lifted a hand to his cheek and soothed his anguish with a softhearted smirk.

"Oh, Em, we were only playing. I know how brave you really are."

Rosalie pressed her cheek to Emmett's and whispered in his ear, "Edward wouldn't be here right now if you weren't."

Emmett softened after hearing Rosalie's whispered assurances. With that simple gesture, she reminded him of how Edward had been so dangerously close to being killed on his return trip from Europe. If Emmett hadn't stuck around to make sure that Edward got off the boat safely in New York, he might very well have lost his life that day. Edward was now holding his little girl due, at least in part, to Emmett's selflessness and bravery. Rosalie's touch was gently reminding him that he had truly been a knight in shining armor.

Rosalie's calming words and affectionate touch had often brought Emmett back out of his fury. Several times during the eight months they'd been together, Rose had been able to talk Emmett down as he relived the horrors of the war. Rose would run her fingers through his hair and whisper softly in his ear. In truth, she should have been afraid of him attacking her when he fell into the trappings of his mind, but she saw him for the gentle giant he was. She wouldn't allow the fiery call of his battle scars to take him away from her.

Emmett melted into Rose's touch, Alice's stunt long forgotten. He wrapped Rosalie in his embrace and kissed the smooth skin along her neck.

"I love you, Rose," he whispered.

Bella and Edward looked on with soft smiles and warmed hearts. Both were pleased that the misery of war had brought a couple to find peace within each other's arms.

Alice on the other hand had to look away. Despite all the assurances to the contrary, Alice knew that at some point during their trip, she'd feel like a fifth wheel. Whenever things got a little too uncomfortable, Alice sought comfort in the tiny little package known as her goddaughter.

"Come on, Sammy," Alice began, reaching up to take her niece from her father's hold. Let's go get a water ice."

With Serena's head resting against the crook of her shoulder, Alice turned back to Emmett.

"Are we okay, Emmett?" Alice asked, feeling a little remorseful for her trick.

"Yeah, we're fine," Emmett sighed. "Remind me to warn that man of yours what he's getting into."

Alice laughed, thinking of the trick she played on Jasper about her mother reading some of the steamy details of his letter. She looked over her shoulder at Emmett and demurely replied,

"Trust me, Emmett…he already knows."

aa**AA**aa

"Forget it, Bella, I'm going to have to sit this one out."

Bella sighed and turned to her other friend.

"Rose?"

"Oh, fine," Rosalie mock grouched, reaching over to pluck little Serena from her father's arms. "Let's go play on the spinny ride."

Alice grabbed the stuffed purple elephant from Bella arms, allowing her and Edward to clasp hands as they followed Rosalie in the direction of the Tilt-A-Whirl. Emmett shrugged deciding that following Alice to the food vendors was a better choice than shadowing his fiancée toward a kiddie ride.

With her steaming funnel cake in her hand and a bottle of Coca Cola by her feet, Alice collapsed onto the open bench on the outskirts of the rides. Up until this point, she'd been a good sport. As the smallest of the five adults, she'd accepted her post as official kiddie ride chaperone. She'd taken Serena on all the rides including the merry-go-round, the Ferris wheel, and the gigantic slide. But frankly she drew the line at the Tilt-A-Whirl. She knew that Bella couldn't ride while pregnant, and Rosalie would have a heck of a time cramming her long legs onto a ride meant for six year olds, but at this point Alice didn't care. One spin on that ride and her proverbial cookies would be tossed.

The salty ocean breeze lifted Alice's tresses away from her neck, taming the otherwise stiflingly hot July evening. Alice looked up, searching the sky as she did every night. There were too many flashing lights from the rides to give her a clear view, but she still managed to spy Orion's belt shining down upon her. She sighed audibly, resting in the knowledge that her hero's image was once again watching over her.

Emmett, who'd been called by the scent of Alice's tasty treat, playfully nudged Alice on the shoulder, making her move over enough to accommodate his large frame.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Emmett asked as he followed Alice's gaze up heavenward.

"Just wondering where he is tonight, if he's safe and warm in his bunk."

"Aw, Alice," Emmett began as he shifted a burly arm around Alice's shoulders. "From what Edward says, he's pretty good at taking care of himself."

Alice nodded, though she wasn't nearly as confident about it as Emmett. Alice knew the kind of missions Jasper went on, Emmett did not. Alice sighed and tilted her plate of funnel cake in Emmett's direction. "Peace offering?"

"For what?"

"For attacking you today?" Alice grinned as she made a chopping motion with her free hand.

"Aw, I'm not sore anymore, Alice." He shrugged. "But I will take you up on your offer."

Emmett plowed into the flaky, fried desert with reckless abandon, moaning in ecstasy over the powdered goodness. Alice managed to sneak one small bite off the plate before Emmett finished it off completely.

"He'd better be good to you if he wants to take over as my stunt double," Emmett added with his mouth half full of his final bite.

Alice laughed then quickly admonished her friend. "I hate it when you call him that, Emmett."

Even though Alice knew that the big clout meant no harm, she still didn't like it when Emmett referred to Jasper as _his_ substitute. Still worse was the fact that Bella had let it slip that Jasper was a tad bit jealous of Emmett standing in as Serena's godfather.

"He _is_ my stunt double," Emmett continued. "I stood beside you first and you know it. He just has to be a man about it and come and ask me to politely step aside. I'll rough him up a bit first," Emmett paused, "then maybe I'll _think _about saying yes."

"He's a good man, Emmett," Alice said, ignoring Emmett's last sentence. "And I've taken care of myself for long enough now to know what I'm doing."

"Maybe so," Emmett conceded. "But you have friends who'll look out for you just the same," Emmett replied.

He gave Alice a playful nudge with his massive shoulder then pointed his chin in the direction of Edward.

"Thank you," Alice answered sincerely.

Wanting to steer the subject away from herself, Alice looked down and chuckled at the lavender colored elephant in her hands.

"How much did you and Edward actually spend trying to win this thing?"

"Oh," Emmett paused to rub his fingers thoughtfully against his chin. "About a dollar and a half."

"A dollar fifty! That's more than it cost me to fill the tank to drive here from Maryland!"

Emmett chuckled. "I know, but it was fun to compete with Edward for the prize. He's got a dam—whoops! I mean a darn fine pitching arm. Besides, Serena loves it."

"Yeah, but she loves my flour sack dolls too. And they're free."

"Naw, I couldn't pay that man enough for the look on Serena's face when I handed her that prize."

Alice smiled and sidled up to her burly friend. "You're such a softie, Emmett. You better watch out or your kids are going to walk over you some day."

"Not a chance. My Rosie will keep us all in line. I'm sure of it."

Alice looked off in the distance to see Rosalie nuzzling a playful little Serena.

_Maybe._

Emmett followed Alice's stare and caught the vision of Rosalie with Serena in her arms. He couldn't wait to give her a child of her own someday.

Looking past Rosalie, Alice saw Edward with his around Bella, holding her close and kissing the top of her head. The lights of the amusements flickered like a symphony of delight, and suddenly Alice felt very warm indeed.

"I've had a great time with you guys this week," she sighed contentedly.

"Me too, Alice. Seeing that horse dive into the barrel and the man loony enough to be shot out of a cannon… Holy smokes, that was amazing! The only thing that could have made this trip better was if they were hosting the Miss America Pageant this weekend."

"That's not what I meant, Emmett." Alice laughed as she playfully slapped his meaty arm. "Although the diving horse was pretty spectacular. I meant I'm glad Bella talked me into coming this weekend. I've had a lot of fun with you guys."

"I think we all have, _little bit_. So just don't forget about us when your long lost soldier comes a callin'. As far as I'm concerned, he still has to pass through Edward and me before he takes your hand."

Alice nodded and wiped away a stray tear. Again she was caught up in the moment. Although she was very happy to be in the company of such good friends, a part of her desperately wished Jasper was here to share in it too.

Emmett reached around Alice's shoulders and hugged her to his side. They sat there quietly for a few moments until Alice recovered her voice.

"Thanks, Em—mmett," she stuttered. Alice suddenly felt embarrassed for her display and silently cursed herself for ruining a perfectly good evening with her tears. After another deep breath, she calmed herself and tried again. "It's nice to have some strong shoulders to lean on in the meantime."

Emmett squeezed Alice's shoulder and thought about how Edward described Jasper as an upstanding guy. Even though Emmett teased Alice about Jasper, he never meant any disrespect. He felt a duty to take care of the little gal almost as strongly as Edward did. She was like another little sister. And from nearly the get go, he decided he'd look after her too.

"Anytime, _little bit_," he whispered. "Anytime."

aa**AA**aa

Not ten minutes after Alice had dragged her suitcase through her front door, her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Alice, you're finally home!"

"Yeah, Cindy, I just walked through the door."

"Perfect, I'll be right over."

"Wait, what? Can't this wait, Cindy? I really just need a warm bath and a good book for the night. I'm not up to having company."

Sighing to herself, Alice realized that the only answer she received was the dial tone buzzing from the other end of the line.

Before long Alice had managed to lug her large valise to the top of the stairs, silently wondering why summer clothing was so damn heavy. As she rounded the banister, she knocked an elbow into the plaster, knocking her off balance and sending the heavy case down on top of her foot.

"OW, OW, OW!" Alice shrieked as she hopped on her good foot.

No sooner than a string of expletives had formed on the tip of her tongue, her doorbell rang. With all the strength that a good God-fearing woman could muster, she stuffed the expletives back down her throat and hobbled down the stairs to her front door.

The door hadn't been fully opened when Alice found herself pushed aside and nearly onto her rump.

"I've got all your ma-_ail_," Cindy sang excitedly, not pausing for a hello or a kiss or even a full breath.

Between the two-hour drive, the uninvited guest, and the sore toes on her left foot, Alice was feeling pretty testy this evening.

"You came over just to bring me my mail? Why couldn't you have brought it tomorrow? I'm really tired, Cindy—" Alice began again.

"See here," Cindy called, ignoring her elder sister's wishes completely. She had Alice's mail laid out in neat stacks on her coffee table. "You have a new LOOK magazine, and a Ladies' Home Journal. This stack is bills. These are advertisements; this is a letter from Great Aunt Mildred, and this is a thank you letter from Mother for your help with the June fete."

"How do you know?" Alice asked looking puzzled.

"Because she sent one to me last week too," Cindy said, waving her hand dismissively. "But this…this has been burning a hole on my kitchen table for the last three days."

Cindy reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a hand addressed envelope. She held it between her hands like the winning raffle ticket for the fete's annual liquor basket.

Alice stared for a second, her tired eyes barely seeing legible writing after a long day and a two hour drive home, but staring back at her was the unmistakable address to Miss _Alice _Brandon.

"Jasper," Alice whispered reaching for the envelope.

"Yes!" Cindy squealed. "You have to read it. You have to open it. It's been killing me not knowing what's inside." Cindy paced then twirled in a circle. "Collin nearly had a canary when I put the kettle on the stove to steam it open myself."

Alice's eyes snapped up from the letter in her hands to her sister. "Cindy, you wouldn't _dare_."

"No," Cindy grumbled in a remorseful tone. "I didn't do it, of course. I only made tea," she answered smiling demurely.

"I know that look, Cindy. It's the same one you gave me over Mother's shoulder when you blamed me for eating old man Gleason's cookies right before we went to pay him a visit. You dirty little sneak."

"I didn't read it, Alice! If I did, why would I be here at nine o' clock in the evening on a Tuesday, laying out your mail like you were Princess Elizabeth or something!"

Alice's mouth twitched before sighing and acknowledging that her sister was telling the truth. She pushed the envelope into her dress pocket and crossed her arms, waiting for her sister to depart for the evening. Part of her did it out of spite; the other part wanted to read Jasper's words in private.

"Oh, COME ON, Alice! You're killing me here. Please, please read it now."

She took her sister by the hand and led her to the couch. Cindy held Alice's hands and looked pleadingly into her sister's eyes.

"Please let me enjoy this with you. You were there for me the first time Collin kissed me and I thought I was going to throw up all over him. You were there when we had our first fight over him staring at Camilla McPherson and her bouncy new permanent. You were the one who told me how much he loved me and how he was telling a buddy that gals had to spend a fortune to get their hair to look half as pretty as mine. You told me to take a chance, to be happy, to kiss him at the end of the altar. I know we're not little girls any more, but I want to be here for you. I want to share this with you. _Please_, Alice."

Alice's shoulders slumped and a quiet groan escaped her. There was no fighting it now. She had been softened into buttermilk by the pleading look in her sister's eyes.

"Okay." She nodded with a small smile.

Alice shifted to the side and pulled the letter from her pocket. She frowned a little, realizing how thin the envelope was compared to most of Jasper's letters. There were probably only a few sheets of paper tucked inside.

Alice pried a long fingernail beneath the corner, pulling the edge just enough to start the tear. She removed her finger and wedged her thumb into the new hole, lengthening the slit and enlarging it until the entire shell lay open like a clam before her. Inside was her prize, her treasure, her happy future…_her Jasper_.

The pages eased slowly from their encasement. Again, Alice was struck by how few there were this time. She opened the pages and began to read. Excitement danced across her eyes, followed by a single tear that dropped down her cheek. Cindy put a soft hand on her thigh and squeezed it in reassurance. She wanted to share in her sister's happiness. Alice had waited far too long to find it.

Cindy watched as Alice's eyes suddenly grew wide. Her hand lifted to cover her mouth and hold back whatever emotion was swimming beneath the surface. Alice's hands shook as she moved from one page to the next shaking her head. Suddenly Cindy felt sick.

_Oh God, what if he's breaking it off? I'll kill him. I'll personally be the one to find that horny toad wherever he's hiding in Texas and I'll split his melon with one of Collin's collectable bats. I don't care which one I find, I'll make sure it does the job well._

"Alice?" Cindy whispered. "Honey, are you all right?"

By this time Alice was shaking with emotion. She lifted her watery gaze from the blurry page to see her little sister staring back at her. She shut her eyes allowing two more tears to roll down her face.

Cindy's fear flashed to anger as she witnessed her sister's anguish. Now she'd not only kill that bastard, she'd feed his remains to the vermin. It was only hearing Alice begin to speak that brought Cindy back from her plans of vengeance.

"Cindy, his letter says that they're re-deploying him."

"What? The war is over. Where are they sending him?"

Alice swallowed hard and looked up into Cindy's anxious gaze.

"They're sending him to Berlin."

* * *

A/N" Yup a real diving horse. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried… See video footage of it at: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=0E6ljDp0dh4

Here's an excerpt from next week's chapter:

"How did you not notice he was missing? You just left him?" Master Sergeant Gray asked incredulously.

"I know it sounds horrible, sir, but that's not how it happened."

"Then fucking _enlighten_ me!" Colonel Swan roared.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

-FirstBlush

* * *

**The Long Way Homeland ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 22 Tilt-A-Whirl

**Story reference: **Alice tells Serena not to come asking for treats when they go to Steel Pier after their day at the beach.

**Historical Significance: **Steel Pier originally opened in 1898 novelty acts like the Diving Horse and the high-wire motorcycle entertained thousands of patrons. It's been said that Big Bands weren't really big until they started to play on Steel Pier.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)steelpier(dot)com/

* * *

**Story reference: **Rosalie takes Serena on a miniature tilt-a-whirl ride.

**Historical Significance: **The tilt a whirl was invented in 1927 for the Minnesota state fair

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Tilt-A-Whirl

* * *

**Story reference:**Emmett talks about the attractions he enjoyed at Steel Pier including the famous diving horse

**Historical Significance: **Steel Pier and famous "diving horse" attraction Image source: Library of Congress

**Source: h**ttp:/www(dot)edu/njgov/images/AC/diving_horse(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice sits down with a coke and some funnel cake while Rose takes Serena on a ride.

**Historical Significance: **According to this website, a funnel cake recipe was published in the mid 1930's. The site also includes a recipe. (This is one of my favorite fair foods.) Also, if the term isn't familiar, Italian ice is called "water ice" by folks on the east cost

**Source: **http:/www(dot)kitchenproject(dot)com/history/FunnelCakes/index(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice teases Emmett about spending a dollar and a half to win a prize for Serena. The price of a tank of gas was quite a bit cheaper than what Emmett paid for that toy.

**Historical Significance: **The average cost of a gallon of gas in 1945 was 15 cents.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)thepeoplehistory(dot)com/1945(dot)html

**Historical Significance: **Manufacturers made printed patterns for dolls, stuffed animals, applique and quilt blocks out of cotton packaging material like flour sacks.

**Source: **http:/oliviavignette(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2009/08/1939-flour-sack-puppets-or-dolls(dot)html


	24. Chapter 24 Roulette

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: _Some violence in this chapter

* * *

**Roulette**

_God, how did this happen? _

Jasper's lungs were screaming for more oxygen as he ran. His feet pounded furiously through the tree line, he didn't have time to stop or think or do anything but just…_run_. While his mind was reeling from the shock of being discovered, the sound of the oncoming Russian soldiers hit him like a vicious fist to his gut. He couldn't understand how they'd been able to track him. He was so damn careful, tripping through water to ward off his scent, carefully backtracking in spots to lead his pursuers to dead ends, leaving behind no trace of a camp each night. All of that was for nothing now as he heard the shouts of the Russians in the distance.

_Where, where, where?_

Where had he gone wrong? Where could he go? Where could he hide? The questions stung like angry bees in his head, flying like mad and desperately trying to escape. The road, which lay about a half a mile to his right had been covered with troops, all of them Russian. Each time Jasper made an attempt to step into the open, he was bitterly disappointed to spy upon only Russian soldiers blanketing the path. He was to the point of desperation, fearing he'd never see another American troop of soldiers for the rest of his life.

It had been nearly two weeks, two long and tiring weeks of inching northeast in the direction of Berlin. And inch he did, carefully covering ground while avoiding detection. He slept in small fits during the day, hoping his pursuers needed more time to recover than he was taking. The food he found varied from crawling vermin, to grasses, to the rare fruit. Anything more satisfying or palatable would have taken too long to trap, skin and cook without being discovered. His strength was waning each day, and the lack of nourishment along with the disrupted sleep was slowly driving him mad.

He was certain that by now the Hussars had reached Berlin. It would have only taken them a few more days at their current clip to reach the city. If they'd continued on their planned route, he should have crossed them about twenty miles north of the Belzig, but there was no sign of the tracks of their heavy vehicles in the soft earth.

_They should have been there. _ _They should have been... _

Either the Hussars had taken an alternate route or Jasper had been too horribly lost to recognize his location in the dense German forest. The thin tissue map he'd been handed by Lieutenant Quinlan had disintegrated only days after escaping from the camp. The translucent material was only a breath away from tearing and despite Jasper's best efforts to protect it, a day of being pressed against his pants pocket had lightened the ink lines and left a gaping hole in the center.

Sadly none of that mattered at the moment, not the escape, not the hiding, not the map. The only thing that mattered was evading capture. Branch after branch flew by Jasper as his heart pounded in his head. He was running for his life, and the moment his last reserve of adrenaline gave out, so would he.

_Green, everywhere is green._

Jasper was running blind, with no sense of direction but the ground ahead of him pushing him forward. He leapt over downed logs and scraggly patches of stone, each time praying that his feet would land solidly while his pursuers fell behind. A large ravine more than eight feet wide loomed ahead of him. Using every last ounce of strength, Jasper jumped the divide. The wind sailed across his face giving him the momentary feeling of a feather soft kiss upon his cheeks. The ground sped toward him and at the very last moment, he realized he'd had just enough distance to reach the other edge.

"STOP!" a voice shouted from behind. _"Please."_

Startled by hearing English for the first time since he'd separated from Jacob Black, Jasper froze.

It was enough. The momentary lapse in concentration allowed his head to drift slightly to the left as he strained to hear more from the man calling out to him. The change, though so small in terms of human movement, was enough to change the angle of his approach. His right foot hit first but immediately slid out from underneath him. The remainder of his hundred and eighty pound frame crashed to the earth. The odd angle left no chance for his hands to break his fall. Knees and ribs hit the rocky edge of the divide. Clothing tore and skin left a bloody reminder of his life upon the ground. The final postscript was his chin smacking against the sodden stones.

_Air. I need air._

No matter how Jasper fought, the few precious breaths he was able to pull seemed to give no relief to his body's call for oxygen.

_In, in, in, _his mind screamed.

Jasper gasped, pulling ragged breaths against the pain in his chest. The breaths were coming too fast. He was hyperventilating and struggling against the fog in his brain. He needed to move forward. At this point he didn't even know what he was running from. The pain swept hard against his consciousness, dragging him down as if he were sinking into the sea.

_Get up, get up!_

_ I have to move._

Every last inch of his body screamed out, begging him to lie still, to stop the fight. The only call that urged him to push forward came from the voice of his beloved. The last beautiful gift of his mind was her voice as she called out to him through the haze.

_Come home._

Her face, a lovely vision of perfection, floated before him, calling out to him. His promise to her echoed in his mind.

_Thanksgiving, I'll be home by Thanksgiving. _

Her vision morphed into a brilliant smile. He'd do anything to see that smile.

_I'm going to hold you to that, private._

Momentarily renewed by her vision, Jasper struggled inch-by-inch to climb through the dirt and rock to the top of the shallow ravine.

_I'm here, waiting…don't break my heart, _the vision whispered.

_No more than I could want to break my own._

_Alice, sweetheart, I have to go._

Even in his memories, his mind was telling his body it was too much for him to go on.

_I bet Perseus could do it,_ she whispered encouraging him.

_I bet he could, but I am merely a mortal man, _his own voice echoed.

_No, not merely mortal, you're merely mine._

The weight of her words and the guilt of leaving her behind caught painfully in his chest. He could hear the heavy footfalls, louder and louder through the forest behind him. They still had to make the jump, but they weren't far. Again Alice's voice called out from the deep corner of his mind.

_Dream a little dream of me. _

Though he struggled, he couldn't reach his feet, so he crawled to distance himself from the men searching for him. He didn't turn when he heard the sound of heavy boots scrape the stones on the far side of the ravine. One set planted, and before he heard a second, a voice called out.

"_Vladimir, parar. ¡No!"_

The next sound to follow was the sickening crack of his skull, then…silence.

jj**JJ**jj

Consciousness reappeared in stages. Jasper woke to find his hands bound in front of him. The copper taste of blood was on his lips and in his mouth. He heard the crackling sound of a fire, and the smell of animal meat filled the air. Too afraid to move or make a sound, he listened.

The voices of his captors were familiar. Jasper struggled to recall his last moments of consciousness and freedom. There was shouting in Russian and a name.

_Vladimir._

Jasper flinched, recalling the previous and current injuries that had befallen him at the hand of that man. He almost seemed to enjoy the pain he inflicted. Then he heard that _other voice_. Again, the other voice called out, asking Vladimir to stay his hand. Jasper prayed that the second man sent for him was the one who'd shown some mercy for his plight.

Jasper cautiously opened one eye. The fire was about ten feet off in the distance. The two Russians were huddled on either side, gnawing meat from a makeshift skewer. Jasper's stomach growled loudly in response. Both men's heads turned in his direction. Vladimir smirked, patted his full belly then stood and walked off into the forest to presumably take a piss.

After Vladimir had been gone for a few moments, Demetri crawled over to Jasper. He lifted his head with one hand and fed him meat from the carcass with the other. After Jasper had managed a few bites, Demetri lifted his canteen allowing Jasper a long drink. He sputtered and coughed. The pain in his ribs from the fall lanced through his chest like a sword.

Demetri didn't speak. His eyes looked upon Jasper with pity and something else Jasper didn't have the ability or consciousness to place. After gently wiping some of the dried blood from Jasper's temple, Demetri crept back to his place by the fire. When Vladimir returned moments later, he spoke in Russian and nodded in Jasper's direction. Vladimir laughed then threw his carcass and Demetri's in Jasper's direction.

Jasper wasn't about to turn down an opportunity to eat, even if it was only scraps. He struggled against his binding to sit and reached into the dirt for his meal. With one skewer in his hands, and a second one in his lap, Jasper focused one eye on his meal and a second on his captor. Vladimir, too, seemed to study his prey. A loose hand rubbed his lip then scratched his scruffy jaw. He looked tired and worn from the chase but sickeningly satisfied. Jasper hoped that he could outlive the lifespan of that smile. So far he'd survived two encounters with Vladimir, thanks, at least in part, to Demetri. As the fire crackled between the two men, Jasper silently wondered if he could survive a third.

jj**JJ**jj

For three days the small group of disparate troopers marched. Their single line formation was the only outward indication of their unity. In truth, the three men were of very different minds as they marched. One was staunchly resolute, one struggled with indecision, and the third searched for an opportunity. The one thing the men held in common was their increasing edginess over the impending return to camp. The fear of Stephan's wrath was etched into every step leading them back to Stalag IA.

The pace of the march was steady, not quick, and though he couldn't prove it, Jasper felt that at least one of his captors really didn't want to return to the camp any more than he did. There wasn't much any of them could predict about their return. Demetri and Vladimir could just as easily be welcomed back by Stephan's open arms as by a bullet to the head.

As for Jasper, Stephan was only part of his unease. For him, the worst part was being forced to return to Col. Uley with failure written all over his face. Jasper hung his head in defeat as the earth crunched beneath his boots.

The plodding pace did little to ease the tortured thoughts raging in his head. The what ifs, the whys, and the maybes spun in circles edging him closer to the clawing abyss of madness that threatened to take over his mind. Far too often for his own good, he considered making a break for it. And almost like telepathy, as soon as his mind would teeter toward the edge of such insanity, a stiff hand would find its way to one of his shoulders, pulling him back from those irrational plans..._Demetri_.

The first time it happened it was nearing noon on their first day. The lure of freedom called for him, plucking Jasper's nerves like the overstretched strings of a violin. In his mind he bargained with himself. His scrapes were already clotted and although his ribs ached painfully, nothing was broken. Nothing would hurt him more than seeing defeat in the eyes of the 9th Squadron. He could run. He _should_ run.

But this time, if he ran, he'd have no supplies. He would be left to defend himself with nothing more than his bare hands. In their current state, those hands were certainly no match for two armed soldiers. He'd be dead or at a minimum, badly beaten. None of that would help the 9th Squadron if they needed him for another attempt, _if _they made another attempt.

Still the siren's call of freedom is a heady thing; it's a thirst no mortal can completely ignore. So by the time the sun was high overhead, Jasper had formed a plan. He'd wait for when Demetri was distracted, then abruptly halt his pace, allowing Demetri to smack right into the back of him. He'd grab Demetri's arm and shoot Vladimir in the back with Demetri's own rifle.

_Then there'd be only one. _

Jasper knew he'd have a better shot if there was only one. Still, ruthlessly killing Demetri who'd shown him small acts of kindness was going against Jasper's grain. But each time Jasper came close to putting his plan into motion, he'd find Demetri's rough hand on his shoulder startling him from his thoughts. The first time it happened he nearly jumped out of his skin. Vladimir halted before them and turned to aim his rifle directly at Jasper's chest. Heated words were exchanged in Russian, but in the end, with an emphatic shout from Demetri, Vladimir nodded and continued to lead the march. Jasper glanced at Demetri only to see the soldier shake his head no and lift his chin and motion Jasper forward after Vladimir. There was an unmistakable message in the man's eyes. It was one of warning but also one that Jasper guessed was patience.

Each time Jasper's plan went unexecuted, he fell a little deeper into despair. He knew things would only get worse for him once he was returned to Stephan's custody. The what ifs continued to swirl in Jasper's mind this time landing on Jake.

_Did he make it?_

Jake was the decoy. The odds of him evading capture were slim at best. Jasper figured that his own ability to avoid being captured sooner was due to Jake doing exactly what he said he would, drawing off the Russians so that Jasper could get to the Hussars.

_The damn Hussars. Where the hell were they? Why didn't they see he was missing and come back for him?_

_Maybe they thought you were the traitor and deserter you are, _his guilty conscience screamed.

Though he'd been ordered, and physically and mentally tortured, into relaying the Hussars' mission to the Russians, the betrayal still weighed heavily on Jasper's mind. It was yet another failing to add to the pyre that burned him from the inside out.

_Accept what you can control and move forward from what you cannot, _Alice's letter begged_. Forgive yourself for being human, for making mistakes, and be grateful that you have another day to try again._

Alice's words echoed in his mind as he plodded through the forest. Despite the hell he was going through, Alice was his source of strength and comfort. He was grateful that his mind had chosen that moment to send him her words; he desperately needed something to hold onto as he lifted his gaze and found the gates of Stalag IA looming in the distance.

Vladimir stopped abruptly, causing Jasper to stumble a few paces behind him. As it was, he had to place his tied hands on a nearby branch just to keep himself from falling directly into the back of the captor with an itchy trigger finger.

Vladimir whispered to Demetri in Russian and lifted his chin toward the gate. Jasper watched as Demetri's face morphed from one of uncomfortable acceptance to one of confusion. The two quietly rambled back and forth for a minute while Jasper focused on the gate, trying to decipher what they'd seen. After a moment, his eyes went wide and his head snapped back and forth between his captors.

_There's no guard._

Jasper's mind raced with possibilities. Once he realized the gate was unguarded, he found other things that seemed eerily out of place. It was quiet, too quiet, and as the wind changed an acrid scent reached out and violently turned the three men's stomachs.

Demetri froze mid-sentence as the smell filtered through the breeze. They'd been discussing their next steps, obviously wondering if it was safe to enter the camp, when both men wrinkled their noses in disgust.

After a few more moments of growing agitation between the men, Vladimir finally made the decision. He pulled Jasper by the collar and shoved him out in front of them, urging him forward with the muzzle of the gun.

A cold shiver ran down Jasper's spine as he heard both Vladimir and Demetri each charge their bolts. He wanted to pull in a deep breath to steady his nerves, but the scent was too repulsive to invite more into his body than absolutely necessary. He sufficed with breathing through his mouth as he inched warily toward the camp.

The sun cast a bright light over the lush summer foliage. It was a complete contradiction to the underlying dark current running through Jasper as he moved toward camp. For a second time, he approached the gates and the blood red sign ordering him to "HALT!" His mouth ran dry. Every muscle begged for him to turn and run as he neared the dividing line between the camp and freedom.

It was all in his mind. Jasper was no more a free man when marching with his captors, than when he set foot over that line. And yet, as the invisible line passed beneath his feet, the prospects of a second escape seemed to drift away. He struggled against it, trying to close his mind to the fear of never seeing home again, but it was as impossible as trying to grasp wind with his fingers.

Jasper glanced over his shoulder only to find Vladimir threatening him with the weapon held tightly in his grasp.

The camp was eerily quiet; the surrounding forest seemed too still as well. The only recognizable sound was the scraping of stones against three pairs of boots as the three men rounded the corner toward the camp's main square.

The horrid stench was the first thing to hit them followed by the ghastly sight of what remained of Dahveed's pyre. Jasper doubled over and lost his stomach onto the ground. Demetri followed. Only Vladimir continued his slow approach.

"_Dorogaya boga_," he whispered.

Jasper didn't know the phrase but imagined it as something like the one floating in his own mind.

_Dear God Almighty…_

For stacked before him, as tall as Jasper's shoulder, were the charred remains of men. They were piled one on top of another. What were once legs and arms and necks were now a jumble of blackened bones and ash. Jasper looked up, only to shut his eyes to the befallen sight of humanity. His head pounded, and his body felt weaker than it ever had before. His fists, still clasped together in their binds, went to his forehead, willing himself to hold onto the single remaining thread of his sanity.

_Give me the strength to do this._

If he were the only one who'd lived to see this hell, he'd commit it to his memory. He'd tell his story to whoever would listen. If he had to be the one to live with these demons, he'd bear that weight and tell their story.

With that vow on his lips, Jasper slowly lowered his clasped hands to the ground. His legs could no longer bear his weight, so he crawled on hands and knees, inching forward, toward what remained of the burned bodies.

There, amongst the char, on the outer edge of the pyre sat a shiny symbol. He crawled toward the confirmation his mind had already made but his heart refused to accept. The shiny metal eluded his grasp. Each attempt Jasper made to retrieve it only loosened the ground, allowing the metal to slip further away from his flailing fingers. Finally, Jasper swallowed the last shreds of his pride and slithered on his belly in the dirt and ash until his fingers encircled the tiny epithet.

He didn't read the name. It didn't matter whose it was. It was proof that he'd failed. That he'd been too late to save the men of the 9th. Unable to bear the guilt any longer, Jasper hugged the tag to his chest and wept.

jj**JJ**jj

Colonel Swan rubbed his hand over his mouth, struggling to believe the story he'd just been told.

"Tell it to me again," he barked.

Master Sergeant Gray shifted uneasily beside the colonel who was wavering between grief and staunch denial. The two men looked down at the man before them while he nervously traced the crown of the Hussar's emblem with a trembling finger.

"I noticed Whitlock was missing on the second day after we reached Berlin. I'd asked the other chaps about the American with the clean socks."

"What?" the master sergeant asked, completely confused as to what clean socks had to do with Jasper.

"You see, sir, we were stopped by the Russians right outside of Magdeburg. The commanders had us stand down while they negotiated for our passage. We asked for permission to hike to the edge of the Elbe to wash out our socks. It had been raining for days and the commanders are always on us about trench rot."

Colonel Swan huffed, signaling that he was growing frustrated with the roundabout tale. Afton quickly hurried to finish before the colonel lost his patience.

"When I left your man, he was writing a letter to his gal."

The colonel visibly stiffened at Afton's words, knowing exactly which _gal _Afton was talking about.

"I'd pulled KP that night and had to head back to camp. I asked if he had a compass and a map then told him to stick by the other men. He agreed and that was the last time I saw him."

"How did you not notice he was missing? You just left him?" Gray asked incredulously.

"I know it sounds horrible, sir, but that's not how it happened."

"Then fucking _enlighten_ me!" the colonel ordered.

"Yes, sir. We made camp and settled down for the night. I was in a different section than your man and didn't notice he was missing. He'd only been with the troop for a few days."

"And that's your excuse?"

"No, sir. I'm just—just trying to explain the events as they happened. We'd been asleep for about three hours when we got the order to get up and clean camp. The Russians had granted us an hour window to clear the city. We hustled, packed up and moved out. They marched us till nearly noon before we could make camp again. It was another three days like that. We covered eighty miles like that since Hamburg. It's not an excuse, sir. It's just how it happened.

"Losing one of my men doesn't just _happen, _captain."

Afton was about to reply but thought better of it. By this point Colonel Swan was practically puce. He looked as if he'd pull out his pistol and shoot him for his own inexcusable negligence. A few of the guys thought Whitlock might have been a deserter, but Afton didn't think that to be the case.

"No, sir," Afton added more quietly this time. "As I said, sir, I asked around camp for Whitlock, wanting to share something I'd heard with him when no one could say they'd seen him. I asked for him in every unit, with every squad commander before finally going to Lt. Colonel Wainman. The next morning three other men and I were marching back toward camp, retracing our steps. The Russians delayed us, again. This time they held us for days until Col. Wainman could negotiate our passage. When they finally released us, we went back to our campsite and then to the river where I'd last seen him. Nothing. No trace of him. We started scouring the land widening our circle until…"

"Until _what?_" Gray shouted.

"Until we came upon the remains of an American." Afton shivered at the memory.

"And you say this American wasn't Whitlock?"

"No, sir."

"How did you know he was American, if as you've said, he didn't have any dog tags."

"The uniform was different. The poor bastard was an airman."

"Could you tell how he died?" asked Gray

"Hard to say, sir. The remains had been… Animals had taken most of him."

Colonel Swan pursed his lips. "So a lone American is dead. No unit, no dog tags, and in your opinion, he's _not _Whitlock. What did you do next?"

"We widened our search. We moved out further, canvasing the land, looking for more men, more bodies, more indications of what one man would be doing out here alone with no weapon."

"He didn't have a weapon on him?"

Afton shook his head. "No knife, no gun, no map, no compass, no canteen. Nothing."

The master sergeant shifted at this news. His eyes moved to the colonel, who met his glare. Animals wouldn't take the weapons, but someone did. Could it have been Jasper who found him and killed him? It didn't make any sense.

"It took us another four days, but we came upon a German POW camp about four miles from where we found the American. That's where we found the bodies."

"They were all burned."

Afton swallowed hard and nodded quickly not wanting to relive the sight again.

"How many?"

"We think twenty-eight."

"You _think?" _the colonel barked.

Afton lifted his eyes to stare right into the face of the colonel. "Yes, sir, I _think._ That's how many dog tags we pulled from the bits and pieces of bodies we pulled off the goddamn pile, _sir_."

"Watch your tone, _captain,_" Gray warned. He wasn't about to allow Afton to talk that way to his colonel no matter what he saw or did.

Colonel Swan clenched his fist so tightly that the dog tag in his hand nearly broke the skin of his palm.

_What a waste._

"The Germans or the Russians?" Colonel Swan asked.

He'd already formed his own opinion, but he wanted Afton's to confirm it.

"The Russians," Afton answered without pause. "They controlled the border. They delayed us. The fire wasn't months old, more likely weeks. If it had been older, I'd be more likely to suspect the Germans. There weren't any German soldiers back from the fighting. We went through those towns ourselves, helping out the locals. They had no men to tend their fields or fix their fences. The women and children fended for themselves. So if you're asking me if I think the Russian soldiers killed the Americans who owned these dog tags, the answer is, undoubtedly yes."

"What do you make of the fact that these three, Whitlock, Black, and Tanner, only have one dog tag?"

The colonel was grasping at straws, but he wanted any possible excuse to believe Jasper was still alive.

Afton shrugged. "Don't know, sir, but what I do know is that we stayed for another week scouring the camp and the land another five miles out and found nothing, neither hide nor hair of another soul apart from our Russian escorts who kept a close watch on our activities. I'm sorry, sir."

Colonel got up and went over to the window. He stared unseeingly into the daylight. He was quiet for so long that Afton and Gray both thought he wasn't aware they were still there. Finally without turning in their direction, he uttered one word.

"Dismissed."

jj**JJ**jj

Later that night Colonel Swan sat at the desk in his darkened office. A lone desk lamp provided the light necessary to refill his glass. On top of his nearly pristine table sat a wrapped present, a gift for his baby granddaughter. Beside it was a bottle of single malt scotch. His right hand brought the glass of amber liquid to his lips. The chain from Jasper's dog tag was braided between his fingers and clinked against the glass as he swallowed another mouthful. The liquid burned as it went down, taking with it more and more of the colonel's conscious thoughts. He looked through the nearly empty glass at the papers he held in his right hand.

He should have been ecstatic. He was not. In his hand he held what so many men had only dreamed of over the past three years…his discharge papers. The colonel lowered his glass and refilled it, not yet ready to concede to the thoughts plaguing his mind. He closed his eyes only for a moment, but it was enough time for his mind to be swept over by a memory. There she was, the pretty little girl with blue gray eyes. She was sweet and kind. She looked after Bella when they first moved to Maryland. And now…the colonel's shoulders slumped in defeat. Now he was going to have to break her heart.

_Damn you, Whitlock._

The colonel wanted nothing more than to go home to see his daughter and his baby granddaughter. He wanted what all soldiers wanted, the chance to leave the war behind and go back home to the bubble of peace waiting for them in the States. Now his plan was shot to hell. The colonel held the dog tag tighter and pounded it against his forehead. Whitlock wasn't just another soldier. He'd once saved his life. Whitlock had also helped Bella and Edward escape the Nazi spies and reach the safety of the States. The colonel owed this boy more than he could ever express, and how was he going to repay his debt? By crushing the life out of the girl he loved.

_Damn you, Whitlock, indeed._

* * *

_A/N: _In case you were wondering, the Jasper chapters have titles now instead of dates because after his separation from the Hussars, he has no sense of time.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

-FirstBlush

* * *

_There aren's any historical notes this chapter but here's short preview of next week..._

_Leah reached behind her on the bed and scooped up her tattered bear and a picture she'd colored for her favorite adult friend. Alice wrapped her arms around her new stuffed companion and thanked Leah for her kindness. Leah stroked Alice's hand with her small one before getting up to answer the sound of her mother's call. _

_ "Feel better, Miss Brandon," Leah called out from the doorway._

_Alice blew Leah a kiss and closed her eyes with her arms surrounding the only comfort she could find, the innocence of a child._


	25. Chapter 25 Shattered

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**_**_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: Ella Fitzgerald singing, Someone To Watch Over Me is perfect for the beginning of this chapter even though it wasn't recorded until 1950. http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=TYEeAOTIQ2c&feature=related_

Though many of you are expecting it, this will be a tough chapter.

* * *

**_Shattered_**

"Peaches," Alice mumbled to herself. "Peaches ought to be good. They're sweet and soft. Serena will like them."

Alice plucked three ripe peaches from the display in the small grocery and placed them in her basket. A soft smile graced her face, but her thoughts had moved from her godchild and to her distant Perseus. Alice began to grin widely, thinking of the peach pie that Jasper had raved about in his letters. He threw down the proverbial gauntlet when he told her that the reason he was looking forward to coming home was for a taste of his mother's peach pie. Alice scoffed at the memory. She'd show him, she smirked mischievously. She'd take the pie for herself and make him beg on his knees for her forgiveness to get just a taste of it.

_Maybe I'll decide to be really hungry that day and keep the entire thing myself._

Alice reached out to the display once more, brushing her thumb over the fine fuzz on the ripened fruit. It was so delicate, so perfect in its current form but also so temporary…_ephemeral_. Its sweetness wouldn't last more than a few days, surely not long enough to last until Jasper returned home. Alice sighed in disappointment.

The worry over Jasper's transfer to Berlin had been plaguing Alice. She'd tried to sound upbeat when she responded to his letter, even joking about Emmett's new "fear" of the ocean, but an underlying current of unease was etched into every word she wrote. Alice remembered how even the joy of celebrating Serena's first birthday couldn't completely take her mind off her worries.

"_Alice, of course she's going to have a party, but she's only one. The balloons and crepe paper aren't really necessary."_

"_They're absolutely necessary. Sammy's going to love it."_

"_Alice, quit calling her __Sammy. He__r name's Serena."_

"_And mine's Mary Alice, but we all adapt, don't we?" Alice countered with a smirk. "Sammy is so cute for her. It's bubbly, like her little personality. You have to admit, she isn't exactly a serene child."_

_Bella grinned widely at Alice's pun as they both watched Edward chase the toddling little one around the backyard. Bella's gaze softened as she took in the vision of the pair. A deep sigh of contentment escaped her as she spoke. _

_ "She is to me."_

_Alice placed a light hand on her friend's shoulder._

"_Bella, what's this really all about? I know it's not a little party that's bothering you. You look like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is something wrong with the baby?"_

"_No, no," Bella replied shaking her head and running a soothing hand over her rounding tummy. "The doctor is being cautious but seems to think everything is okay."_

_Alice let out a sigh of relief then pulled on Bella's shoulder to turn her so she could look her in the eye. Since they were kids, this had been Alice's way of letting her friend know that she was looking for the __no foolin' __answer. _

_Bella sighed. "We've been over this. You already know what I'm thinking. I just...I wish they were here." _

_Alice didn't have to ask who; she already knew the answer. She wished Charlie and Jasper were here too. Alice phrased her next question carefully. She knew that Bella's role in the OSS often exposed her to information that she couldn't share with anyone, not even Edward._

_ "Do you have any reason to believe they won't come home soon?"_

_ "No." Bella sighed. "But I don't have any indication they'll be home tomorrow either."_

_Alice turned to stare out the window not wanting to see the pain etched in Bella's face. It would only mirror what she saw in her own reflection each morning. She wanted Jasper home tomorrow, but it wasn't something she could control. She could only wait, pray, and trust in Jasper's words. _

_He'll be home by Thanksgiving, just like he promised._

_Alice's fingers curled around the letter in her pocket while trying to summon the strength to reassure both herself and Bella of everyone's safe return home. Her reply was cut off by Rosalie's voice booming through the hall._

_ "Bella, what do you think of these colors?"_

_Bella's hand covered Alice's in an attempt to both comfort her friend and to warn her that the conversation was over, at least for now. Alice understood that she and Bella were very much a pair when it came to this waiting game, and unfortunately, it wasn't something that could be discussed in front of Rosalie. Neither Rose nor Emmett knew that Bella was the daughter of Colonel Swan. More than once Bella had told her that, until the war was truly over, the fewer people knew of her relationship with her father and her involvement in the OSS, the better. _

_ "Well, Bella?"_

_Rosalie held out swatches of red and blue fabric for Bella to examine. She was asking for Bella's opinion on the color of her Matron of Honor gown. _

_When Rosalie and Emmett had announced their engagement back in March, she declared it fitting that Bella and Edward stand beside them as they took their vows. Especially since it had been Edward's __wobbly sea legs __and__ sour stomach__ during a trip across the Atlantic that had brought the couple together._

"_I vote for the blue," Edward crooned in Bella's ear as his arms came around her swelling belly. He turned her slightly and placed a kiss over her heart. His embrace was chaste, but Alice saw the fire in Bella's eyes at the gentle ministrations of her husband. _

_Ignoring Edward's intrusion, Rosalie held up the swatch to Bella's complexion, "Blue would go better against her skin. The wedding's so close to Christmas that I'm leaning toward the red."_

_The subtle wrinkle of Bella's nose told Alice they were both wondering why Rosalie had asked for an opinion in the first place. Alice didn't stay to hear the outcome and began shrinking back from the conversation. She was more than happy for Rose and Emmett, but standing around watching and pretending to muse over wedding preparations was a bit more than she could expect of herself while waiting for her own love to return home. The uncomfortable look stretched across Alice's face as she slipped down the hall toward her playful young niece. _

"_Alice?" Emmett hollered after her, effectively halting Alice in her tracks. _

_Not fast enough, __Alice thought as she turned back to the group _

_ "Hhhmmm?"_

_ "Oh I was just wondering if you've heard from my __stunt double__ lately."_

_Alice rolled her eyes at Emmett's standing joke. _

_ "Emmett," she warned._

"_Well, he is." Emmett shrugged unabashedly. "I'm certainly man enough to handle both of you if I wanted," Emmett crowed, pulling Rosalie to his side and giving Alice a cocky wink._

"_Emmett, you're barely able to survive the iron rule of one fiancée, let alone two women," Edward goaded._

_Two resounding yelps of pain went out. Edward's retort earned him a stop on his toes from Rosalie's high heel, and Emmett's hand went to rub the newly found sore spot on the back of his head._

_ "Ow, Rose, what was that for?" Emmett howled._

"_You're both idiots," Alice chirped, taking up Rosalie's defense. "I can't for the life of me understand how either of you were lucky enough to ensnare these women."_

_ "Charm." Emmett grinned._

_ "And self-sacrificing heroics," Edward added, smiling widely. _

"_He wouldn't take no for an answer," Bella replied, biting her lip to keep from smiling. Rosalie nodded wildly after Bella, earning her a sour look from her fiancé. _

_Alice sniggered at the jokes at the boys' expense but decided to douse Emmett's jokes about Jasper once and for all._

"_He's no substitute for anyone, Emmett. Despite my affection for you, my friend, you couldn't match him if you tried."_

"_Aww, Alice, don't be sore. I won't give him too hard of a time when he comes lookin' for you. What's he up to these days anyway? Are the theaters in London getting too boring for him? Has he been forced to watch King Lear one too many times?" Emmett teased. _

_ "Emmett," Edward warned._

"_What?"_

_Alice placed a hand on Edward's arm before turning to answer Emmett, "Jasper's been re-deployed."_

_Emmett stared in confusion. Whatever he'd been expecting Alice to say, it certainly wasn't that._

"_Where?"_

"_Berlin."_

"_Jeez, I'm sorry, Alice. I feel like such a heel."_

_Emmett winced again as Rosalie cuffed him on the ear._

"_Ow, Rose, knock it off."_

_Rosalie shrugged unapologetically. "I just did it for her."_

Alice chuckled at the reminder of Rosalie putting her big burly man in his place on her behalf.

The party had gone on much as a party of adults celebrating the birth of one tiny little girl would. Edward's parents came, as well as their next door neighbors. Serena was treated to clothes and toys and a helping of frosted birthday cake that was way too large for the tiny one year old to consume. Alice remembered happily bathing her godchild after the icing catastrophe, allowing Bella to get some much-needed rest.

Again, Alice's fingers lightly stroked the fuzzy peach, thinking of Serena's soft skin. The movement of her hand caused the lights overhead to bounce off the face of her wristwatch. The dancing light reminded her that it was time to get a move on. It was close to noon and Edward and Bella were expected to arrive in time for supper. Alice pulled herself from her daydream to quickly finish up her shopping and wish her grocer, Sal, a good afternoon.

At home Alice hummed along with the Andrews Sisters as she sliced the peaches. The sugary syrup she would mix them in would make both a treat for Serena and the filling for a peach pie. After all, if it was Jasper's favorite, she'd certainly have to practice her recipe before making it for him. The thought made Alice smile as she measured the sugar.

After she'd mixed the filling, Alice glanced over at the kitchen clock above her stove startled by how fast the time had flown by. It was already a quarter past two and she had yet to even start the lamb. Alice lifted the back of her floured hand to her forehead to once more brush aside the wisps that had fallen from her hairpins. With a deep breath to compose herself, she resumed her task, throwing her weight against the rolling pin to press the dough into an even crust. When the pan was lined and the filling poured, Alice set about edging the crust just as her grandmother had taught her many years ago. She pinched the dough between her finger and her thumb and pressed the wrong end of a spoon handle against the bulging dough, creating the decorative edge.

A few minutes later, Alice had the pie in the oven and the lamb shank in the roasting pan. She was digging through her spice rack searching for some thyme when her doorbell rang and a familiar voice called out to her from the far side of the screen door.

"Alice, honey?"

"Just a minute," she sang.

Alice straightened her apron, not bothering to check her hair in the mirror above the breakfront. She was a mess, but unfortunately there wasn't much she could do about it before greeting her neighbor.

"Hi, Mrs. Scampton, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, honey, I just need a cup of sugar. I ran low, and I didn't want to bother Scamp by asking him to run to the store."

"Sure, come on in," Alice said sweetly, inviting her neighbor into her small foyer.

Alice took the glass measuring cup and sped back through the dining room and into the kitchen to retrieve the sugar. She knew something was up, not that she doubted that Scamp –Mr. Scampton—was taking a nap; that was all together likely. Her suspicion surrounded Mrs. Scampton's sugar shortage. In the three years she'd lived here, Helen Scampton never needed to borrow anything…_ever_. The woman practically had her own grocery store stacked inside her pantry. Alice knew this from the multiple times _she'd _run next door looking for some brown sugar or an extra egg.

"You expecting company, honey?"

"Umm…"

Alice tried to think of a quick cover. Bella had asked her not to reveal her homecoming to anyone, at least not until the war was officially over. Though a ceasefire was imminent in Japan, it had yet to be declared and Alice wasn't about to take any chances.

"I, uh, promised my mother I'd make the dessert for dinner tomorrow night."

"Well it smells lovely."

"Thank you," Alice called as she walked back into the front parlor with the cup of sugar.

"I'm making a lemon cheese pie, myself," Mrs. Scampton added proudly. "We're having a bit of a celebration tonight.

Alice smiled genuinely but didn't want to engage in a long conversation with her well-intentioned but wordy neighbor. She still had to finish getting dinner in the oven and clean up before Bella and Edward arrived.

"Danny's being published!" Mrs. Scampton offered without waiting for Alice to ask. "It's about the economic conflict between the strategies of separatism and capitalism as it relates to the war, or something like that," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "Danny's so excited that his first paper will be in print. It's wonderful really. We're so proud, Alice. He has such a brilliant career ahead of him. You should stop by and have a slice of pie and coffee with us. I'm sure Danny would love to see you again."

Alice cringed at the idea of discussing economics over coffee and pie. Her favorite topics were a far stretch from the utilitarianism of consumer goods.

"Oh, Mrs. Scampton, that really is wonderful news. I won't be able to stop by this evening. I have other plans, but please give Danny my regards."

_There, that's pleasant enough without being misleading in any way. Regards aren't anything for a man to hang his hat on. I'm certainly not promising him my dance card._

"That's too bad. Well, maybe we'll stop by with an extra piece for you later then."

Alice was starting to panic. "Oh, thank you, but I'll probably be out late tonight. You may even be in bed by the time I get home."

"Alice," Mrs. Scampton chastised. "A proper girl would be home by nine, especially if she's not chaperoned."

"I thank you for your concern, Mrs. Scampton, really I do, but I'm hardly a girl anymore. I'm certain no one will pay any mind to what time I get in for the evening. Nobody would find the comings and goings of an old schoolmarm of any interest, _right?" _Alice asked pointedly with one eyebrow lifted in challenge.

"Of course, dear, I just worry about you being all alone," Mrs. Scampton replied, lifting a hand to Alice's cheek. "Give Danny a chance, won't you?"

"Mrs. Scampton," Alice began with a sigh. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.

On one hand she wanted to tell her she was already quite attached, on the other hand that conversation would most certainly lead to a lot of other questions that Alice had neither the time nor energy to answer at the moment. What she really needed was to get her neighbor out of her house. Fortunately, Alice was literally saved by the bell as the oven timer went off signaling that her pie was done.

"I need to get that before it burns," Alice said as she walked in the opposite direction of the kitchen toward her front door. She held the screen door open wide for Mrs. Scampton, encouraging her to leave without being _too _rude about it. "I'll plan to stop by on Monday. Maybe there'll be a sliver of your lemon cheese pie left and we can catch up then?"

"Sure, honey," Mrs. Scampton agreed, apparently taking the hint.

The elderly woman had a wicked gleam in her eyes, indicating that she might not be home alone if Alice came for a social call on Monday night. Alice would have to be sure she popped in for coffee during working hours or just after lunch to avoid any chance of bumping into Danny.

On the way back through the parlor, Alice paused to turn off the radio. She bent down in front of the old liquor cabinet and quickly flipped through her grandparents' records. She smiled widely when she found the one she was after. She clutched the record in one hand and grabbed a bottle of amaretto with the other. Soon the strains of _Dream a Little Dream _were coming through the speaker, causing Alice to dance lightly into the kitchen to pull out her pie and find herself a glass.

_Why not?_ she thought as she poured herself a generous serving of the aperitif.

The liquor went down easily, relaxing Alice and soothing her anxiety over dinner, Mrs. Scampton's invitation, and the worry over Jasper's deployment that constantly nagged at the back of her mind. Perhaps the liquor was only part of the reason for her calm. Alice hummed along blissfully to the song, thinking of her grandparents' happiness while dancing across the old kitchen floor.

_It will be that way for us too, Jasper,_ she thought with a smile as she spied the thyme hiding in the back corner of her spice rack.

With the lamb roasting in the oven, Alice could relax a bit now that most of the work was behind her. Alice picked some posies from her flowerbeds out front to make a simple flower arrangement then turned to set the dining room table for dinner. As Alice folded the table linens, an uncomfortable thought crossed her mind.

_What will I do if Mrs. Scampton presses me about my plans for the evening?_

With a huff of frustration, Alice picked up her telephone and waited to hear her sister's voice on the other end of the line.

"Cindy? It's Alice. I need a favor."

"Sure, what do you need?"

"I fibbed and told Mrs. Scampton that I was going out tonight. If you see her at church on Sunday and she asks, just say I came over and we had a late night playing cards."

"Oookay, but why am I covering for you?"

"She wanted me to come over for coffee with Danny."

"Oooh, ew…the nose picker."

Alice laughed. "Cindy, that was years ago, but yes that's him."

"What if she brings Danny over to your place?"

"I told her I was going out."

"You're going out? With whom?"

Alice sighed in frustration. "_Cindy_, pay attention, I'm not going out, that's just what I told her. I said I'd be out late and that I'd come by for coffee on Monday. You're my cover if she asks, get it?"

"But you'd tell me if you were really going out, right? I mean you'd call me if Jasper…you'd better call me, Mary Alice, or I swear I'll wring your skinny little neck."

Alice felt like banging her head against the wall. Having her lovingly sweet but scatterbrained sister as a cover was making out to be a bad idea. Alice could imagine this whole thing blowing up in her face. A second later a sound called her out of her worry.

"Cindy, that's my doorbell. I've got to go."

"You better call me. Alice—"

That was the last thing Alice heard as she hung up the receiver. Once more she made her way to the door, not bothering to check her hair. Bella wouldn't care how she looked, and Edward would be a whole lot more interested in her food than her appearance. Alice nearly skipped to the door hardly able to take her apron off fast enough so she could get her arms around her little godchild. The apron strings flew through her fingers as she turned back toward the door. The sight of the person on the other side of the screen nearly knocked her off her feet.

_Charlie?_

Could it be that Bella's father was really there standing on her doorstep? This man looked so much older. He was grayer at the temples and had deeper wrinkles on his forehead and in the corners of his eyes. The shirt he wore hung a lot looser than Alice remembered his clothes fitting. Then again it had been more than four years since she'd last laid eyes on the man. Charlie had left for London when Bella was only sixteen. Back then, before Pearl Harbor, Bella had stubbornly refused to follow Charlie to London for the sake of a war she thought the US had no business in. How things had changed.

"Charlie?" Alice called out.

Excitement and happiness washed over her as the gruff man with a soft heart stepped through her door.

Alice could hardly believe it. _Is he really here?_

The sound of the door creaking open solidified Alice's dream into reality.

"Charlie!" Alice screamed excitedly and took off running through the parlor.

A second later she had her arms locked around his neck. Charlie wrapped his arms around Alice's tiny waist, hugging her tightly to him.

"Alice," he whispered. He wouldn't allow his voice to rise above a soft breath or the pain and sadness he felt would give him away.

"Charlie, my God, you're here! You're _really_ here. Does Bella even know you're home? She'll be so happy and Serena—"

"I'm here, Alice."

From behind Charlie, Bella's voice cracked, her words laced with pain. Alice pulled her head up from Charlie's shoulder and opened her eyes to find her friend.

There, in the shadows of the doorway stood Alice's best friend, completely distraught and barely able to hold herself upright. Bella's face was red and blotchy, her eyes swollen, her nose running. She looked like she'd slept in her clothing and rolled out of bed with a bad cold. One hand covered her belly while the other was clenched into a tight fist that shook violently by her side. Alice nearly jumped over Charlie to get to her.

Bella didn't lift her eyes to meet Alice's. Instead she stood stoically staring at the floor beneath her. She couldn't think of looking Alice in the eye. It was taking everything she had just to remain on her own two feet.

Alice couldn't get to her friend fast enough. Worry seeped deep into her veins.

_Edward? Serena? The baby? _

The thought of anything happening to them felt like someone stabbing her in the center of her chest. Her heart was pounding and her breaths came faster as she panicked for her friend.

"Bella, _please, _what's wrong?" she begged.

Alice's hand flew to Bella's cheek, pushing the hair back slightly from her pale, wet skin. At the sound of Alice's voice, Bella finally raised her eyes from the floor. The look of despair pinned Alice to the floor as she stood there staring into Bella's brown pools of emotion. A moment passed between the women, and in Bella's sorrowful eyes Alice saw more than words could ever tell her. Bella swallowed hard, her lips trembled and her breath shook from deep inside her chest.

"He's gone, Alice."

_No._

Suddenly Alice's world began to shatter around her. The look of pity in Bella's eyes became unbearable as Alice realized the sorrow she held was for _her_. Alice shook her head violently back and forth as if the action would will the words to be untrue.

"No—no," she stuttered, trying to catch a breath between her tears. "You're wrong. You're wrong, Bella," she said, turning her back on her friend. "_Please, _tell me you're wrong," she sobbed.

"Alice," Bella whispered, pulling her friend back to face her. She reached up to gently cradle Alice's face in her hands as she cried. She spoke her words slowly and softly. "Alice, he's not coming home."

Short breaths of air came and went through Alice's lungs as she struggled to comprehend what was happening. Her hands covered her eyes as her whole world disintegrated around her. Every thought, every dream for her future held this man by her side. They'd have babies and grandbabies, a big happy house with rocking chairs on the front porch. They'd have gray hair and laugh lines. They'd live and love and dance together. They were going to make _a life._

"Go—d wouldn't do this t—to me. Bella, no, _please _tell me no. I, I can—t."

Charlie sat slumped in the corner of the room with his hands covering his eyes. He couldn't bear to watch the realization unfold before him. He could only sit there and helplessly listen to the sounds of Alice's heartbreak. A feather soft clinking sound brought Charlie's head up from his hands. Bella was kneeling before Alice, slowly opening her hand to her like the petals of a wilting flower. The ball chain necklace fell through Bella's fingers, the weight of the chain too heavy for the single tag to balance. It crashed to the floor like an anchor hitting the bottom of the sea, dragging with it the life Alice had dreamed of with her love.

Alice swallowed her sob as the words etched in metal stared back her.

Jasper Allan Whitlock, PFC

Alice's cry of pain broke the silence. There were no more words, only the stuttering sound of a breaking heart as Alice held onto Bella for dear life.

aa**AA**aa

"I'm going to the store, Alice, just to pick up some milk and eggs. You'll be all right for a little while, won't you?"

Alice nodded in response to her mother without looking up from her position on her window seat. Her eyes were fixed on the window as she stared blankly out into the day. She hadn't really spoken much, and had eaten even less, but she knew she had to respond to her mother or the consequences would not be pleasant.

Amelia sighed and ran a light hand over Alice's head, feeling her own agony over Alice's pain. She'd feared this. Deep down when Alice told her she had taken to a boy who was away at war, she'd had a premonition that the relationship would only bring Alice pain. Still, she knew better than to try and squash the relationship or Alice's happiness. It had been the first and only time she'd seen her daughter excited over a man. Amelia hoped her premonition was wrong and, for once, she abhorred being right.

Amelia leaned down and placed a kiss atop of Alice's brown waves.

"I'll be back soon."

Alice cringed at her mother's choice of words. She turned from her window gaze to look into her mother's eyes. She'd heard words like those not too long ago, and the promise _he'd_ made was now broken. Amelia saw the pain etched in Alice's face and chastised herself. Her slip had only caused her daughter more pain. She lifted Alice's chin with the palm of her hand.

"We'll have egg salad for lunch and strawberries with sour cream."

She spoke slowly and deliberately to her daughter. She wouldn't make her any more promises; she'd just lead her forward a little at a time, giving her heart a chance to heal. A half smile graced the elder Brandon woman's face. She nodded once at her child then released her chin and left the room. Alice returned to her ritual of gazing down on the world from her station. She watched as her mother backed her sedan down the driveway and drove down the road and out of sight.

_It's quiet,_ Alice mused. _It's quiet and lonely inside my head now. _

Alice could not remember a time when she'd been alone in the last three weeks. Someone was always with her, either her mother, or Bella, or Cindy had been there. Rosalie came too, but her touch was different. She'd felt Rosalie reach for her pulse instead of taking her hand like the others.

Time held little meaning for Alice in her grief. At one point, she heard murmurs from Rosalie and others from the end of her upstairs hall. Words like _"similar to shellshock" _and _"it will just take time"_ echoed from the voices. Alice, who couldn't bear to listen, had just rolled over and cried until exhaustion finally put her to sleep.

Alice allowed her vision to soften as she stared out her window. A memory appeared before her. Her hand was tracing the same windowpane as she imagined the warm skin of Jasper's chest beneath her fingertips. Her mind moved to the sculpture she'd made to capture that moment and a sob erupted from her chest. Her head fell into her hands, knowing it was the only piece she had left, and it had been pulled from her sight and safely tucked away.

_Two weeks after receiving word of Jasper's death, the announcement came declaring victory in Japan. There were words of happiness and joy echoed from the news reports on the radio. Alice heard them, but they all seemed to fall in patches of consciousness around her tears. The war was over now, she knew at least that much. The irony of that was not lost on Alice. _

_This was so wrong, she thought. How could he have left me when the end was so near? _

_The memories of Jasper's letter after VE day drove another nail into Alice's heart. This time, this day, _she_ was the one weeping for the solider who'd never hear the ring of peace as church bells echoed across the land. _

_Through a thick haze of pain and wavering consciousness, Alice lay in her bed that night clutching a book of poems she'd owned since she was a child. W.H. Auden's words, dripped from her lips as tears rolled down her cheeks. It was dark outside; the house was quiet, as her houseguests had already gone to bed. Alice flicked on the light by her desk and propped open the book. The page she wanted was easily found. It was marked as much by a red satin ribbon as by the indentations of her dried tears. The words brought no comfort; they only echoed her grief, the companion that never left her side. Though the words were engraved on her heart, she still traced along with her finger as she read aloud. When she reached the third stanza, the words violently poured out of her, no longer able to remain trapped inside her aching chest._

_ "He was my North, my South, my East and West, _

_My working week and Sunday rest, _

_My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; _

_I thought that love would last forever: _

_I was wrong." _

_Strong hands held her, pinning her arms to her side. The book was no longer on her desk;_ she_ was no longer at her desk_

"_Alice, please, please stop," Bella sobbed. "You don't want to do this. We'll put them away. We'll put them away…just for a little while, but don't destroy them." _

_Bella's words snapped Alice from her haze. She looked over toward the doorway to see Bella standing in her nightdress. She pled with her as heartache echoed her cries. As Alice's gaze turned back toward the room in front of her, she began to comprehend the destruction of her studio that had been by her own hand. The walls and shelves held nothing. A cloud of white porcelain blanketed the floor. Every piece lay shattered as if someone had yanked a tablecloth, pulling an entire set of dishes to the floor. Red was streaked among the white. _

_The hands surrounding her arms gripped a little tighter as Alice, along with her captor, realized that she was bleeding from where her feet had stepped upon the remains of her work. _

_Suddenly Alice was no longer standing. She'd been swept up in a pair of strong arms. From her bed Alice heard Serena's cry. Bella began to tend to Alice's cuts as Edward left the room in search of his child. As he left his quiet, broken words sounded in her ears._

_"I'm _so_ sorry, Alice."_

Alice lifted her head from her hands and stared into the sunlight.

_I'm sorry too. _

A flicker of soft fur grazed Alice's elbow as her hands fell back to her lap. Alice turned toward the source of her comfort to find Leah's gift sitting as her companion on the window seat. The morning after she'd destroyed her sculptures, Alice awoke to find Leah lying across from her and lightly stroking her hand.

_"Hello, Miss Brandon."_

_ "Leah?" Alice croaked._

_Leah only nodded. _

_ "Why are you here?"_

_Leah looked down, confusing Alice's question with that of a reprimand._

"_My father heard about your soldier friend. He was in the flower shop buying flowers for my mother when he saw Mister Cy was buying a bunch for you. He told mother at dinner last night, and I asked if we could visit you today. I'm sorry if I've disturbed you. Mother didn't want me to come up here, but Mrs. Brandon said it would be all right."_

_Alice softened to the point of tears after hearing of the little girl's good intentions._

"_I'm glad you came, Leah," Alice said through her watery smile. "I could use a reason to smile."_

"_I heard Mrs. Brandon and another lady tell Mother you were hurt. Are you going to be okay?"_

_Alice hid her eyes from the child, not wanting to admit that being "okay" was so far beyond her ability at the moment. She focused on her physical injuries instead of her emotional ones._

"_I broke some of my sculptures last night and accidently stepped on the pieces. I have a few cuts on my feet, but they'll heal." _

_Alice nodded slowly as she said these words to give the little girl some assurance. She didn't know where the assurance was coming from, for she surely had none left to give herself._

"_But why did you break them?" Leah asked innocently._

_Alice sighed, wanting to be truthful to the child but only giving her the information she could handle at her young age._

"_I shouldn't have. I'm sure your mother doesn't allow you to break your toys when you're sad or angry, right?"_

_Leah shook her head no._

_ "Mine didn't either," Alice said softly. "I just—"_

_Alice stopped mid sentence, trying to compose herself, but the tears had already begun to fall._

_ "Leah, have you ever been lost?"_

_ "Like in a store?"_

_Alice nodded._

"_Yes, Mother tells me I shouldn't wander off, but sometimes I see something and want to look at it and when I turn around Mother isn't there anymore."_

_ "Yes. It's scary, isn't it?"_

_Leah nodded quickly._

"_When I broke my sculptures, it kind of felt like I was lost. Like I was running to catch up with something I couldn't find. Like I was tearing through anything in my way to get back to the something I'd lost. That something was my friend. He's gone. I loved him very much, and I can't ever get him back."_

_The little girls eyes filled with tears. "I'd be sad too."_

_Alice agreed and wiped Leah's tears with the tips of her fingers._

"_You know what helps me when I'm sad?" Leah asked. "My bear. I hold him tight and he makes the sad a little better. I know he's not real, but he still makes me feel better. He might help you."_

_ "Oh, Leah, thank you, sweetheart, but I don't want to take your bear."_

_Again Leah looked down, misunderstanding Alice's words as a rejection of her gift._

_ "I know you're too big for bears, Miss Brandon, I just wanted to help."_

_ "Honey, just being here with me helps."_

_ "Will you take my bear then, maybe give him a try?"_

_Alice nodded and tried to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling._

_Leah reached behind her on the bed and scooped up her tattered bear and a picture she'd colored for her favorite adult friend. Alice wrapped her arms around her new stuffed companion and thanked Leah for her kindness. Leah stroked Alice's hand with her small one before getting up to answer the sound of her mother's call. _

_ "Feel better, Miss Brandon," Leah called out from the doorway._

_Alice blew Leah a kiss and closed her eyes with her arms surrounding the only comfort she could find, the innocence of a child._

The wind lifted the trees high above Alice's front porch startling her again from her daydream. She'd been thinking of what it might be like to have a child of her own someday. The staunch reality of Jasper's passing had snuffed out that dream like the candles on a birthday cake.

Alice couldn't stomach the thought of her next birthday without him, and a new wave of tears came rolling down her cheeks.

_You took my dreams with you, my love. What have I left to wish for?_

A whistled tune sounded in Alice's ears, tearing her gaze from Leah's bear to her friend and mailman coming down the street. Instead of pausing at the mailbox, Cy began making his way down her drive. Alice wiped her tears and left her perch, relieved to have something calling her other than her dreams and memories.

At the bottom of the porch steps, Cy sighed and looked up at the old house. If there was anything he'd wished for that day, it was to see Amelia Brandon's face on the other side of the screened door. He looked to the right and dropped his head knowing her car wasn't in the drive.

_Maybe Miss Brandon isn't home either, _he hoped.

One glance at the screen door told him he was wrong. The heavy wooden door behind the screen was open, allowing a breeze to flow through the house and ease some of the dry August heat. Cy looked down at the stack of mail in his hands before squaring his shoulders and lifting a foot to climb the first step. On a day like today, he truly hated his job.

Miss Brandon appeared at the door and Cy nearly swallowed his tongue at the sight of her. In only a few weeks' time, she'd gone from a lovely vibrant woman to merely a shell. Her neatly pinned hair was in disarray, her dress wrinkled, her feet still wrapped in cloth as his wife had told him they were. Cy unconsciously shivered at the scene his wife had described. Miss Brandon was visibly thinner too. Her face was red and her eyes wet with unshed tears. Cy thought it wouldn't take much more than a stiff breeze to knock her over, and he hated the violent wind he held within his hands.

"Miss Brandon?"

"Hello, Cy," Alice said quietly with a small smile.

"Is your ma home with you?"

Alice's smile grew a fraction wider at Cy's words. It reminded her of something he might have said to when she was a little girl.

"I think she went down to Sal's to pick up a few groceries. I'm s-sure she'll be back soon."

Alice's voice wavered on the word sure, as she wasn't really sure of anything anymore, but Cy didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, I see."

Cy turned to look at Alice's yard, examining the length of the grass and the rare weed sticking up from her flowerbed. He stepped away from the door, pretending to muse over the potted geranium by the stairs.

"The boys would like to come by and mow for you again," Cy said shyly, hoping beyond hope that Mrs. Brandon would return soon. "I know they're young and don't do the best job, but they'd like to do something to help."

"They do a great job, Cy. I'm sorry I haven't felt up to calling on them lately. Maybe they could come by sometime next week?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll let them know."

Again Cy hesitated. He was going to run behind schedule. His boss, Mr. Taylor, wasn't going to be pleased, but he'd deal with the persnickety man later.

"Do you have some mail for me, Cy?" Alice prodded.

"Oh." Cy grimaced. "Yes—"

Alice opened the screen door, but Cy stepped back hoping Alice would join him on the porch instead of taking the mail and retreating back into her home. Cy dropped his mail pouch and sat on the top step, silently hoping Miss Brandon wouldn't think the gesture too awkward and sit down beside him. Instead, Alice stood and leaned against the railing with her arms folded over her waist.

"I know you've heard this more times than you can count, but I'm so sorry, Miss Brandon. Cecilia and I just ache for you over this."

Alice sighed and slid down the post to a crouch. Her back was bracing her upright while her feet remained flat against the floor. She saw the look of pity in Cy's eyes, and although her legs could no longer hold her, she felt that if she sat down, the exhaustion of grief wouldn't allow her to get back up again.

_It feels like it never will._

Despite the thoughts floating in her head, Alice still answered with what everyone expected to hear. She hoped it would be enough.

"Thank you, Cy. It's been…a difficult time."

Cy nodded, trying to figure out what he could do to comfort her.

"Miss Brandon," Cy called with saddened eyes. "Can I ask that you look at this later?" he said, waving the stack of mail in his right hand. "Maybe I could hold onto it for you and just bring it back later?"

Alice's heart swelled, hoping beyond hope for one more letter from Jasper. One more chance to read his words and soak in the light that made her heart feel complete.

"No," Alice said shaking her head. "I want it now, Cy."

Cy couldn't delay any longer. It was her mail and she was entitled to it. With a heavy heart, he handed over the stack. Alice gripped the envelopes tightly and rose to her feet with more energy than she'd felt since the day her world shattered. She was glad her mother wasn't home. She wanted the privacy of reading Jasper's words in the quiet peace of her bedroom. She nodded to Cy in thanks and slipped quickly behind the door, shutting a worried postman out on the other side. Cy turned to see the Brandon's maroon sedan rolling up the driveway.

Cy was about to call out a hello and a word of warning to Mrs. Brandon when a cry of pain sounded from the other side of Alice's front door. Amelia's face went white with fear. She dropped her bag full of groceries and took off without another word, streaming up the steps and through Alice's front door.

Alice cried out again as her knees hit the wood floor at the top of the stairs. The envelope in her hands was black and blue. The ink of many stamps bled together looking like a bruise covering abused and mottled flesh. The envelope had nicks and small tears in the corners as though the passage had been as painful for the paper as it was for the woman who was now holding it. Alice cried out, allowing fresh tears to blot the ink as they spread. For as painful as it would have been to read Jasper's final words to her, it was a cruel twist of fate to be holding not a letter from her lost love but one of her own. The handwriting staring back up at her was hers. The envelope holding Alice's thoughts and prayers for her love had been stamped with English and German markings, but it was the lone purple stamp that crossed diagonally over her handwriting that broke her soul. Those words confirmed what she refused to allow her heart to believe.

Alice's hand shook as her finger lightly traced the letters. **REPORTED KILLED**.

Arms surrounded Alice, hugging her closely. Alice wept into the familiar scent of her mother's blouse crying out, "Make it stop, Mom. _Please_, it hurts too much. Just make it stop."

* * *

_A/N: _I felt ill after writing this chapter. It was very hard to write as I'm sure it was difficult to read. My heart goes out to any family who has a loved one in harms way.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

-FirstBlush

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**The Long Way Homeland ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 24 - Shattered

**********Story reference:** Alice describes the end of the war and hearing the news of VJ day.

**Historical Significance: **Victory in Japan was announced to the United States on August 14, 1945.

******Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=Sx4KZIHz3hE&feature=related

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**************Story reference:** Mrs. Scampton talks about Danny's first paper being published on the US Separatist policy and WWII.

**Historical Significance: **Short video (5min) on the US Lend Lease act and the end of the neutrality act prior to the US entrance into WWII.

******Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=TpDL1BzN3wU

* * *

**************Story reference:** Alice talks about not promising Danny her "Dance card."

**Historical Significance: **"Used by a woman to record the names of the gentlemen with whom she intends to dance at a formal ball.

******Source: **http:/memoriesonmainstreetantiques(dot)com/ebayphotos/dcchoir3(dot)JPG

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Dance_card

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**************Story reference: **The poem Alice recites upon reflecting on the devastating news of Jasper's death.

**Historical Significance: **W. H. Auden, was an Anglo-American poet, born in England, later an American citizen. His work is noted for engagement with moral and political issues.

******Source: **http:/www(dot)wussu(dot)com/poems/whafb(dot)htm

Scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral where Auden's poem is recited: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=b_a-eXIoyYA

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**********Story reference: **Alice cries out upon receiving her letter to Jasper returned to her with as stamp confirming his death.

**Historical Significance: **RAF letter returned for a Canadian soldier "reported killed"

******Source: **http:/www(dot)bnaps(dot)org/education/images/EPH5F5(dot)jpg


	26. Chapter 26 Lady Liberty

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: __Thank you for the wonderful response to the last chapter, it felt amazing to hear from so many readers out there. _This chapter is posting a bit late because of my vacation, thanks for your patience. Now lets find Jasper.

* * *

**Lady Liberty**

_It's time, _Jasper told himself.

The risk was almost immeasurable. If he were to be discovered, it would certainly mean the end of him and his last link to his love.

_I need to try. I need to find a way back. It's time._

Jasper had been following Vladimir and Demetri through the German forest for days upon end. Fortunately for Jasper, there had been no sign of Stephan's unit, or any other Russian soldiers for that matter. In reality, the three journeymen were utterly lost and too far under the cover of a blanket of leaves to allow the stars to guide their way.

The Russians' compass had been broken over a week ago. Vladimir thought it would be best to load Jasper with all of their supplies as the three men hiked, allowing them to save their strength while Jasper struggled with the heavy load. The extra weight coupled with his weakened body led to a bloody fall and the destruction of many of their coveted supplies. The compass had certainly been the worst loss for the trio.

Still as stubborn as a mule and as agitated as a hungry bear, Vladimir pushed on, refusing to believe the compass no longer worked. He followed the faulty instrument as it led them east but from the angle of the sunlight that did make it through the thick forest, Jasper supposed they were likely moving south instead. By the end of the third day of traveling by broken compass, Vladimir was so frustrated, he threw the object and nearly everything on Jasper's back into a muddy ditch then forced Jasper to retrieve and clean the items one by one.

Every move they made seemed to be a complete waste of time and energy, but Jasper willed himself to remain calm. He knew from experience that it only took a single moment for _everything_ to change. Vladimir in his frustrated state began making more and more mistakes. Jasper only needed to be ready for his chance to strike. And although one captor was cruel while the other was complacent, neither were the guards at the gates of the Gulag. For that, Jasper was most definitely grateful.

Still, as the days passed his heart ached. It ached for his family in Texas, for his ma, his pa, for Sam Jr., Emmie and the boys. He missed Seth and Alec, Edward and Bella. Hell, he'd even be thrilled at the sight of Roberts or Colonel Swan.

Most of all he longed for Alice. He missed her words, her photograph, and her scent on pages written by her hand. He missed her handkerchief with its soft lace edging and wondered if she'd sewn it herself. He re-read her words in his mind, allowing her wit to calm him, to bolster him, and to give him a few precious moments of peace. He had hope when he thought of her out there waiting for him. He had a reason to live. He had a reason to be patient. He had a future to get home to, not only for Alice but for others as well. When Jasper left the remains of the Pathfinders Squadron behind at Stalag IA, he vowed he'd get home to someday tell their families not only how they died but how hard they fought to live.

_I owe them nothing less than the honor of their story being told._

Each day Jasper allowed himself to touch the belt that contained Alice's last words of love. The touches were like pockets of air to a drowning man. Jasper only granted himself this gift a few times each day. He refused to call attention to it, fearing his captors would force him to give up his last physical link to his love. The sweep of his hand over her words of love became like little morsels of food. Jasper would save them so he could savor them during his day.

At night he slept sitting upright out of fear that he'd be unable to fend off an attack if he were lying down. Though his hands were bound together, he'd prop himself against a tree or rock then rest his clasped hands across his waist. His thumbs would stroke the metal that concealed Alice's words and he'd rest in the comfort of her love.

Tonight, however, his captors made another mistake and a rather large one at that. His hands had not been bound. Each man must have thought the other had done that task. Jasper held his typical position with this back against a tree, knees bent and arms folded over his lap, concealing his bare wrists. Jasper knew they were going to give him an opening to escape; it was only a matter of time.

It was most definitely time. Who knew when his captors would again grant him the freedom to attack them in their sleep? Pulling in a slow and controlled breath, Jasper focused on two beautiful, gray blue eyes, two soft, full lips and two slender arms held out to him in beckoning. She called out to him with her heart, with her mind, and with her body to come home to her. As his mind envisioned her beauty, his thumb traced the belt shaft that contained her words. He wanted to see her words lying in the palm of his hand, but the rare opportunity to gain the advantage over his captors was fleeting with each moment he delayed. He took courage from the knowledge they were still there. So with his mind settled, Jasper began his trek to the far side of the campsite.

Vladimir was lying with his back to the fading embers of the fire while Demetri's upright pose mirrored Jasper's on the far side of their campsite. Jasper could reach Vladimir first, as he was positioned closest, but his gun would be harder to take and get off a clean shot.

Demetri's gun would be easier to reach. It was propped against the tree beside him, but Demetri was significantly further away. Each alternative had its risks but in the end, Jasper decided that taking Demetri's gun would offer the best chance of his survival.

He moved slowly, carefully. Each movement made silent and controlled so as not to rouse his captors. He crawled forward, as quiet as a breath in search of Demetri's weapon. He would end this, _tonight._

Slow and steady, slithering like a snake, Jasper inched forward. He had to be patient. He _needed_ the cover of silence to remain undetected as he advanced toward the impending attack. The minutes dragged on as Jasper made his torturously slow approach. The fear that his captors would wake drove an icy chill down his spine.

_Be strong, be silent, be brave._

Not for the first time, Jasper wished for the immortal strength of Perseus. Alice's words drew the last ounce of strength from him. Every inch brought hope that he'd make it. The natural instinct to turn and run was strong, but without a weapon they'd only hunt him down again and find him. This time, without the threat of Stephan's wrath, Jasper doubted that Vladimir would allow him to live, no matter how Demetri reasoned with him.

_Why would Demetri fight for him?_

Perhaps Demetri knew of the value of an American soldier to the Russian leaders. Perhaps he held some deeper moral code that would not allow him to kill his ally. Perhaps he wasn't self-sacrificing at all. Perhaps he acknowledged that going back to his army without some evidence of capturing an escapee would label him as a traitor and he would be shot or sent to the Gulag himself.

Colonel Uley's voice sounded in Jasper's ears.

"_Let me tell you a little bit about strategy, Whitlock. First of all, you need to know your opponent before you make a move." _

For the first time, Jasper second-guessed his actions worrying that not knowing his captor's motives would be his downfall.

His heart thundered in his chest as the distance to the Russian's rifle continued to shrink.

_ Just a few more feet._

A crackle echoed in the distance. It wasn't loud by any stretch and most likely typical for the natural inhabitants of the land. The scent of their campsite was bound to draw the attraction of animals in search of food. Jasper's head whipped in the direction of the noise. He could see nothing. The forest was black and thick. Though there were bound to be things moving, his eyesight was too limited to make out any approach. His pause kicked his senses into overdrive, searching for signs of an impending attack.

The danger was out there but no potential foe seemed stronger than the ones who lay in repose before him. Jasper closed his eyes and swallowed hard, praying for the strength to get through the coming violence. A silent breath settled him until he reopened his eyes.

A pair of eyes were staring right back at him.

_Dear God._

His body lay frozen in time. Stuck between his attack and his place on the far side of the campsite. He could lunge at Demetri, but Vladimir would wake and end him before he took a second breath.

Demetri moved first, stretching out his left arm in search of his weapon. His fingers silently curled around his rifle and dragged it back into firing position. His finger poised lay against the trigger but still.

_I should be dead, _Jasper thought as his heart beat wildly inside his chest. _If I'd gone after Vladimir's gun, I _would_ be dead._

Demetri said nothing; instead he lifted his chin and motioned with his gun for Jasper to return to his station. Jasper rose silently, acknowledging that, at least for the moment, the man did not want to shoot him. The defeat he felt was crushing. The likelihood of having another chance like this one seemed as impossible as trapping sunlight with his hands.

Once Jasper was repositioned with his back against the stump, Demetri moved once again. His hand searched blindly beside him while his eyes never strayed from Jasper's. After a few moments of padding the ground beside him, Demetri found purchase against a thin coil of rope. It was the same one that had mistakenly been left off of Jasper's wrists for the night.

Demetri rose silently, his rifle poised and ready to fire. He took careful steps, glancing back and forth between Jasper and his still sleeping partner. He stilled a few feet from Jasper and tossed the rope to him. Once more he lifted his chin to Jasper and made motion for him to wrap the rope around his own wrists.

Jasper wondered what the point of this was. He wouldn't be bound by the rope if he tied it himself. It would only seem that way. Still he complied, making a circle of the length until the free end was concealed within his grasp.

Demetri let out a deep sigh and sunk to the ground. A few feet remained between the men. Demetri's back was to the fire. He could still see Vladimir from the corner of his eye. Even in the darkness of night Jasper noticed how often the soldier's gaze bounced from him to Vladimir. He seemed to be weighing something, warring with himself. Jasper waited, having no other recourse available to him. Once more Jasper wondered what drove the man before him to spare his life, _again._

"You know Statue Liberty?" Demetri whispered.

_Holy shit, he knows English._

Jasper, stunned silent, could only nod in response. Demetri waited. Both men were frozen in place, each waiting for the other's next move. Jasper took the opportunity before him, staring into the fearful intensity of the eyes that watched his every move.

"I saw it when we left New York. We sailed past her on our way to London."

"She is big?" Demetri asked.

Jasper nodded, pausing at how surreal the moment was. He'd never guess that the quiet man before him knew his language let alone was curious enough to ask about a symbol of his nation.

Jasper slowly lifted his hands and tapped his chest twice. Then he moved to position them a mere inch from the ground. Then he slowly raised them as far as he could stretch up to indicate the difference between his own height and that of the revered symbol known as Lady Liberty.

A smile spread across Demetri's face as he nodded in understanding.

"I see her in picture before war."

Jasper nodded, not sure of how to use the information to his advantage. After all this time together, he had no idea the man knew anything of his language. Jasper froze in mid thought.

_The jump across the ravine, I heard someone calling out to me in English. It was _him_. _

The enormity of the revelation hit Jasper hard. He could have made the jump if he'd not been distracted. He might have made it all the way to the Hussars…maybe. Jasper seethed in frustration. This was the man that kept him from reaching freedom. He might have been able to save the men of the 9th if he'd escaped. Jasper swallowed hard trying to calm the desire to lunge and strangle the man before him. His wrists were only loosely bound.

_Maybe, I can overpower him before Vladimir can reach his weapon._

Demetri let out a sigh and lifted his hand to rub it back and forth across his forehead. Jasper saw the man before him, tired, weak, and hungry. And somehow, despite Jasper's own attempt to strike him down this night, Demetri had once again let him live. Demetri allowed him to wrap a rope about his wrists as a false measure should Vladimir awake and discover him unbound. Demetri did all of this for him, yet had no reason not to kill Jasper where he lay. The conflicting feelings left him flailing to find the surface after being submerged into a sea of contradiction.

Jasper watched as Demetri's hand left his forehead and traveled down the back of his head and beneath his collar. He pulled until the action produced a chain from underneath his dirty collar. There, dangling from the end, was a woman's locket. Demetri flipped open the clasp revealing the image of a young girl. She was just as fair as Demetri, with long dark hair and penetrating eyes.

"My, my—" Demetri paused as if searching for a word he only knew in his native tongue. "She write letters."

Jasper swallowed hard thinking of Alice's letters.

_How we are all different, and yet, all the same._

"Wife?" Jasper supplied, struggling to continue the conversation with his captor turned confidant. Demetri shook his head. "Girlfriend? Mother? Aunt?" Jasper added quietly. Each time the response from Demetri was to shake his head no.

Jasper thought quietly for a moment. "Sister? Cous—" he began but stopped when he saw Demetri's eyes light up.

"Da, si-ster," he replied allowing the new word to roll uncomfortably off his tongue.

"You have si-ster?" Demetri asked as he motioned with his flat hand for something small.

Jasper shook his head and lifted his hand way up high. "A brother. A big brother."

Demetri nodded then froze. He lifted his head to look up at Jasper with a sorrowful intensity. "At war?" Demetri asked carefully. His voice was just barely loud enough for Jasper to hear.

"No, he was too old," Jasper replied, thinking of the nearly fifteen years that separated him from his elder brother.

Jasper's mother often called him her miracle baby as she'd thought she was too old to conceive a child in her later years. As Jasper grew he learned that his mother had also had a difficult time with his birth. Whenever he had done something bad enough to earn himself a strapping, it always ended with his father gently clapping him on the shoulder saying there was some purpose in him and his mother both surviving that night, and although he'd earned himself a punishment, he loved him no less. Though Jasper was often smarting from a punishment he rightfully deserved, he wondered what purpose it was other than giving his old man's belt a decent workout. On this night, Jasper prayed that his purpose in life still lay ahead of him.

Looking at the crinkle of lines surrounding Demetri's dark eyes, Jasper elaborated on the answer that seemed to puzzle Demetri.

"They sent young men to become soldiers. My brother was too old to go to war. I have two nephews, Samuel and Jeremy. My brother's sons," Jasper added not sure how much English Demetri understood.

"I Demetri Petrovski. My sister, Laina," Demetri replied, indicating the name of the woman pictured in the locket.

"Jasper Whitlock," Jasper replied, raising his hands to tap his chest.

"Ya_s_-per," Demetri quietly repeated.

Jasper lifted one side of his mouth in a half smile. He appreciated Demetri's attempt to call him by his given name. Demetri smiled a little in return. Jasper still couldn't believe he was carrying on a conversation about his family, in English, with the armed soldier sitting before him.

Demetri's soft smile fell as he looked beyond Jasper and out into the dense wall of trees that surrounded their camp.

"Laina and I want travel after war. In last letter she write that mother and father die. Bad winter, no food."

For a moment, Jasper could almost see the ghosts in Demetri's eyes. A breeze blew, shaking the trees. Demetri's gaze fell from the forest down to his lap.

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered, truly meaning it. He may have been the man's captive, but he could still read the sincere pain on Demetri's face. Jasper shuddered at the thought of his own parents passing before he made it home.

"Laina and I make plan before I go war. If parents die, she—" he paused looking once more back in the direction of Vladimir. "She go _travel_."

Jasper nodded, urging the man to continue.

"If I die at war, Laina have nothing. No family, no farm. Nothing. No good to wait for me. She travel. Parents health no good when I leave for war. I promise Laina if parents die and I live, I meet her after war over. On mother's birthday, May 23rd. I make promise. Laina make promise too. With last letter, I know she go," Demetri swallowed, and his lower lip trembled as he whispered his next thought. "I not know if she—"

Again, Demetri paused to collect himself. He licked his lips and tried to swallow down the fear that clawed against his conviction. Jasper understood Demetri's fears even with his harsh accent and shaky English.

"I not know if she make passage. Long journey. Very dangerous."

"Where is she going?" Jasper asked.

Demetri frowned. His mouth clamped down in a grimace. He waited a long time before he spoke again. When he did, he changed the subject.

"Gulag very bad. You no want to go."

Jasper nodded his head in agreement. "No, I want to go home."

Demetri nodded, understanding Jasper's desire. If he could, he'd return to the family he knew as well, but that was not to be.

"I fear we meet more comrades soon."

Jasper shook his head no, and Demetri stared back with doubt furrowing his brow.

This was it. This was Jasper's chance. He had to decide to trust his enemy or possibly perish by saying nothing. The decision weighed heavily on Jasper's shoulders threatening to crush him as he and his captor stared each other down.

_This is it. This is my chance. If Demetri is a friend, he can help me escape. He can help me get away to the Americans. He can help me get home._

The thought of having a real chance at finding home brought back to life the fading spark in Jasper's eyes. It had all but gone out after missing the chance to take Demetri's rifle.

_But what if he really is my enemy? He can turn on me and use this to help him get home and take me even further from my family…my Alice._

Jasper thought of the two times that Demetri had stayed his execution at Vladimir's hand. He thought of the scraps of food he tossed in his direction when Vladimir wasn't looking. He thought of the fact that he was sitting here now, even after attempting to take _Demetri's_ life.

"I don't think we'll meet up with your comrades. The sun," Jasper began, pointing in the direction behind Demetri. He lifted his hands in an arc, demonstrating how the sun rose early in the morning. "It rises over there."

Demetri nodded in agreement.

"I think we're heading south."

Jasper swallowed hard and pulled a deep breath as he spoke. He had the distinct feeling that this confession would either seal his fate or lead him home. The vision of his home and holding Alice's hand as he stood at the edge of the ridge flashed before his eyes.

"When Stalin moved to take Berlin, the Americans split forces, moving both south and north to secure the German cities that were still threats against surrender and peace. The longer we continue to go south, the more likely it is that we'll run into Americans."

Demetri's brow furrowed as he took in the information. As he watched Demetri's reaction Jasper's heart clenched. He worried he'd just given away his last good chance of getting to the Americans, to safety, to _home. _He could feel the aching fear burrow into his chest. He couldn't bear to look at Demetri any longer, certain he'd wake Vladimir shortly and pull them in the direction of their comrades.

"I want to see Laina," Demetri whispered. "I need know she safe. I want find her."

_Yes, safe. If you go home, you can leave the army and find her. You can see where she went. You can follow her until you know that she's safe._

Jasper opened his eyes to find Demetri rubbing his fingers along his jaw, scraping the scruff of his growing beard.

"I keep promise," he whispered and nodded as if trying to convince himself. "I go see Lady Liberty on day of mother's birth."

Jasper's eyes widened. His heart picked up to a frantic pace. He swallowed hard, trying to comprehend the full weight of Demetri's words. Before he could form a question to ask Demetri what he meant, Demetri answered the lone question that was burning inside Jasper's mind.

"Ya_s_-per," Demetri began, nodding his head to show his deference and sincerity. "I want to defect."

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to whomever nominated TLWH for two Hopeless Romantic Awards. These awards focus on stories where E&B are not the main characters in the story. Voting opens on July 18th. If you're interested in voting or nominating a story you love, the link is: http:/hopelessromanticawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think._

_-FirstBlush_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 26 Lady Liberty

**Story reference: **Jasper confesses the American positions to Demetri in hopes that he'll help him escape to the American occupied zone.

**Historical Significance: **The Allied zones of occupation in post-war Germany, highlighting the the zone from which British and American troops withdrew in July 1945. The American zone consisted of Bavaria and Hesse in Southern Germany.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Allied-occupied_Germany

**Map:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/File:Germany_occupation_zones_with_border(dot)jpg


	27. Chapter 27 Conspirator

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading. _**

_A/N: Some violence in this chapter. Hang on to your hats._

* * *

**Conspirator**

Impatience bloomed like a weedy vine taking hold and wrapping its insidious self around Jasper's mind. He worked hard each day not to allow the weed to poison his conviction. He'd made his choice to trust Demetri and, for better or worse, he had pinned his future on that trust.

_ Why is it taking so damn long to free me?_

Demetri had not spoken to him in three nights. Each night when Vladimir had fallen asleep he quietly waited for Demetri to speak with him and confirm their plans for escape. Each night Demetri remained silent. He slept on the far side of the campsite and closer to Vladimir than Jasper would have liked. The silence was unnerving, and Jasper prayed that he'd not been deceived.

If Demetri's silence wasn't enough to drive Jasper mad then Vladimir's fraying sanity was. As each day passed, Vladimir seemed to grow less and less stable. His decisions to camp at odd hours and change course multiple times each day led Jasper to believe that the man was slowly breaking from reality. He became more paranoid, checking Jasper's bindings multiple times before he lay his head to rest for the night. He got his own water. He'd even take the meat raw, just to be sure that no one else had touched his kill.

Jasper wondered if perhaps the reason Demetri had not spoken to him was for fear of sparking Vladimir's paranoia. Deep down Jasper feared that his desperate longing to be freed was driving his own paranoia. Jasper shook his head, trying to clear it of destructive thoughts. Instead he washed over memories to help him center himself. Although Alice's face brought him the most comfort, it was Alec's words that helped him wade through his darkest fears. His mind wove bits and pieces of their time together to help him get through his worst moments of doubt.

"_This," _Alec called out in the haze of Jasper's imagination as he fanned Alice's photograph,_ "is what we're fighting for.._._ Remember that when you're about to do something stupid."_

_Alec's grin widened as Jasper dutifully nodded in response to his order. Just before the vision vanished, Alec laid a light hand on Jasper's shoulder and whispered._

"_Get on home to your girl, Jasper."_

As Alec's command echoed in Jasper's dream, his thumb traced the hollow metal bar on his belt that held Alice's words. His mind continued to drift off to slumber, imagining the gentle touches and comforting arms of his love's embrace. Jasper imagined fighting with Alice over peach pie and dancing with her wrapped tightly in his arms. He could see himself bowing slightly before taking her hand and pulling it to his lips. Alice's grey blue eyes and her smile were the most beautiful things he could envision seeing with his own eyes. In the twilight of his dream, Jasper reached out to touch her cheek, slowly delicately tracing the curve of her soft skin. A moment later the rustle of fabric brought him out of his reverie.

There, not two feet before him was Demetri. The sound that had awakened Jasper was not his footsteps traversing the campsite, but the soft sound of his trousers rustling as Demetri crouched before him.

Immediately Jasper's eyes went in search of Vladimir, but he found the soldier asleep on his side with his back facing Jasper. Relieved that this was not an attack, Jasper lifted his eyes to Demetri.

"Vladimir no want defect," Demetri whispered.

Though he had not heard a word from Demetri in days, his actual statement did not surprise Jasper in the least. What did surprise him was that Demetri would even ask Vladimir that question.

Demetri placed his hand on his forehead, roughly rubbing the skin back and forth.

"I ask him what he want do after return to homeland. I ask if he want work. Vladimir no want work. He no have family. Russian Army is family. He want to get back to _family_. He is lost without them."

_We're all so lost, _Jasper thought plainly.

"So now what?" Jasper asked.

Jasper wanted to hear Demetri tell him that they would escape on their own or that Demetri would allow Jasper to slip away and fend for himself. Unfortunately, he received neither answer.

"I not know. I need think. I cannot leave him no food, no weapon. I already betray him," Demetri added, whispering the last part.

Jasper stifled the urge to scream out in frustration. He needed Demetri's help to escape, but at the moment he was more than a little worried that Demetri would change his mind. Jasper decided to offer up his own plan, figuring that would be the best way to counter Demetri's hesitation.

"We can escape now. We can just take our belongings and run. You don't have to take his food or weapon. I'm better now. I can run again," Jasper implored, trying hard not to sound desperate.

Jasper already knew that Demetri was the stronger tracker of the two men. Demetri had proven that time and time again. Jasper was convinced that it was Demetri who had tracked him when he made his escape from Stalag IA. And if Demetri followed Jasper's plan to escape, then Vladimir, with his loose grip on reality, wouldn't have a chance of finding them. Leaving now would give them both a solid chance of reaching the Americans.

Jasper considered so many different avenues of escape, including ones that made him the last man standing. In truth, Jasper had no qualms about shooting Vladimir if it came down to it. He had no loyalty to the man who'd beaten him and tried to kill him more than once. Demetri, however, was a different story. Jasper already knew that Demetri would not be in favor of a plan that would harm Vladimir, even if it assured their escape and his eventual reunion with his sister. The compassion and humanity Demetri demonstrated for his comrade was the same he'd shown to Jasper time and time again. After all, it was Demetri who had pleaded with Vladimir to spare his life. It was all part of the man who was now crouched before him.

"I need think," Demetri said shutting his eyes and rubbing his temples. "We keep going south. If we meet Americans I help you reach them."

"And you?" Jasper whispered hoarsely. "What about Laina? Are you giving up on seeing her again?"

"No," Demetri grunted as forcefully as possible with his comrade sleeping nearby. "I see her someday. We promise go Statue Liberty every year on Mother's Birthday until we find. Someday I find."

Jasper frowned. He did not like this plan at all. He wanted something more concrete. He wanted the comfort that a solid course of action would afford him.

_How much longer can we blindly lead one another through the forest before we run out of energy to make kills for food or find potable water? We could run across the Russian Army, and the chances of escape if that were to happen would be almost none. No, we have to go off together now or I'm going on my own._

"I want your rifle," Jasper announced determinedly, holding out his hand toward Demetri.

He was taking a stand and this time he would not back down.

"I can't wait for the Russian Army to find us before the Americans do. It's only by the grace of God that it hasn't happened already. I'm going tonight, Demetri. You can come with me, or you can stay here and tell Vladimir that I tricked you and subdued you to get your weapon, but I'm leaving."

Demetri hesitated. Wanting to help the American and defecting were one thing, putting that plan into action was another. By handing over his rifle, he was giving Jasper the ability to shoot them down and run like hell toward the Americans. For both men, trust was a thorn of roses appearing as an olive branch. Demetri feared that the extended branch would cut him to shreds.

Demetri swallowed and reached for the leather strap that held his rifle on his shoulder. He didn't remove it; he just felt the smooth leather float beneath his fingertips. He squinted, sizing up the American before him. Jasper's blue eyes practically glowed in the moonlight. His hair, now long and curling riotously about his face, reminded Demetri of the images of the fabled Daniel Boone. Jasper was a wild and untamed replica of the image Demetri had often seen in the book his father had used to teach him English.

Each second that passed silently between the men felt like the ticking of a bomb. The two opponents now allies were sizing up each other's strengths and weaknesses, they were poised for either disarmament or detonation.

Jasper stoically stared back at the Russian; he'd already determined that Demetri needed a proverbial "kick in the ass" to take the next step. Jasper understood that Demetri was a follower, not a leader. That was why, despite Demetri's tracking abilities, Vladimir had always lead the pair. Vladimir made the decisions and Demetri obeyed his commands. Now Jasper would have to play that role in order to deliver them safely into the hands of the Americans.

While Jasper thought of taking command, Demetri was purely focused on his survival. If he gave Jasper his gun, he would still have one remaining weapon, the knife in his belt. And if Jasper were to betray him, he'd would at least have something with which he could defend himself.

Demetri saw Laina's face flash before his eyes. She was still a young girl when he left for the war. Since then many years had passed, and she was surely more of a woman than a girl by now. Demetri's stomach lurched at the idea of his sister trying to make passage to New York alone. He knew more of the English language than she did, and leaving her alone and unprotected in the world struck new fear in his heart. Demetri clenched his jaw and once more he renewed the promise he'd made to his little sister.

_ I will not leave you to fend alone. I will find you, Laina. _

Demetri swallowed audibly, his choice now made. He pulled the knife from his belt. Jasper immediately flinched when he saw it but kept his hands outstretched in defiant request for Demetri's weapon. Demetri slid the knife beneath the ropes around Jasper's wrists and freed them from their bindings. He nodded once as Jasper rubbed the circulation back into his hands then returned the knife to his belt.

Demetri once again lifted his hand to his shoulder and curled his fingers beneath the leather strap that held his rifle. With one final breath, he shifted the weight of the weapon off of his shoulder and down his arm. The rifle was cocked and fully loaded. Demetri immediately felt the absence of the weapon's substantial weight, as he stretched out the hand holding the weapon to Jasper. Demetri sure as hell hoped Jasper knew what he was doing.

"This symbol of trust, _Yas_per. I give you in good faith. I want see Laina again. We go and find Americans."

Jasper could hardly believe his eyes as he reached forward to grasp the hilt of the weapon that Demetri held out to him. For nearly two moons he'd lived in fear that each day would be his last. He begged and pleaded and prayed to God for strength and fortitude. Now, as Demetri's weapon slid into his grasp, he finally felt the surge of strength that had eluded him. He swallowed hard, as his breath labored in and out of his lungs. His second hand wrapped around the cool metal and he slid it into position against his ribcage. The action so engrained, as natural to him as pulling on a shirt, scared the proverbial shit out of Demetri. Jasper stood slowly so as not to frighten his new ally and Demetri followed suit.

Jasper shifted the weight of the weapon to his right hand and placed his left hand on Demetri's shoulder.

"You won't regret this. I will help you defect."

Demetri nodded, trusting more in the earnest eyes than in the words of the man before him. Jasper lifted his gaze from Demetri's shoulder to motion to him to quietly grab his pack from the far side of the campsite when a very loud and angry voice broke Jasper and Demetri's silent pact.

_ "Predatelʹ!"_

Jasper's head jerked to the left in time to see Vladimir up on his feet with his weapon pointed directly at Jasper's skull. Though he didn't understand the words, it wasn't hard to guess the ranting expletives flowing out of Vladimir's mouth. If his paranoia hadn't already overtaken his rational mind, the sight of Jasper holding Demetri's weapon with his hand on his shoulder would have. Before Jasper could make a move, Demetri thrust out his left hand, pinning Jasper's arm to side, rendering the weapon useless against Vladimir. Jasper, momentarily frozen by his ally's betrayal didn't see Demetri's next move. As quick as lightening, Demetri pulled the knife from his belt and thrust it toward Jasper's throat.

Though the blade did not pierce his skin, the rough bite of Demetri's words in his native tongue did. In that moment Jasper realized he'd been had.

Demetri held the weapon to Jasper's throat, praying the action would freeze the American into submission. He didn't want to kill him. Not now, not after so many days of managing to keep him alive.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Vladimir shouted again.

"I'm keeping him from escaping," Demetri bit back in Russian.

"It looks to me like you're trying to help him escape. I've been watching you. I've seen the way you look when I give you an order. You hesitate. You're a traitor, Demetri, and you will die beside your _Amerikos."_

"I am loyal, Vladimir! I would not betray my parents or my sister for this man! I am loyal to Russia, to my homeland, to my comrades!"

Vladimir shook his head trying to discern whether the pain in his head from hunger or the acrid meat he'd last eaten.

"I don't believe you! I don't believe anything! I just want to find our comrades! I want out of this nightmare. I don't care if you think Stephan wants us to keep this one alive. One less American to bargain with won't lose Stalin anything! He goes tonight and I'm sending you to hell with him."

Hearing Vladimir's treats only made Demetri shout louder.

"He was trying to kill you, Vladimir, I swear it. He was making sounds like he was ill. He escaped from his bonds and when I went to check on him and he took my weapon! Can't you see? I am loyal. _Please, _don't kill me. I want to see my parents and Laina again but we need to keep him alive. Stephan will forgive us for taking so long if we have a prize to bring back to him. He has no more Americans! You know this. We both saw their burned remains. Think, Vladimir! This is the only one left. We can secure him tighter this time so that he can not escape us.

"Lies! All lies!" Vladimir screamed against the pain shooting in his skull.

He lifted his weapon into firing position and squinted his left eye closed to aim. His vision shifted between the two men standing no more than twenty feet from him.

"No, Vladimir, don't! I'll prove it."

Demetri shifted his weight and thrust the knife he had been holding against Jasper's throat into Jasper's chest.

_Oh God, _the voice inside Demetri's head called out as the blood flowed from the wound. Jasper's eyes went wide. He released the rifle to reach for the hilt sticking from his chest. Demetri, at the ready, grabbed the weapon before it fell to the ground, turned, and fired three shots.

Vladimir blinked, stepping back from the blow of the bullets to his chest and collapsed to the ground. The last thing he saw with his stunned eyes was the look of remorse coming from Demetri as he mouthed the Russian words, _Mne ochenʹ zhalʹ. _

_I'm sorry. _

The moment Vladimir's eyes closed, Demetri ran to Jasper's side. Jasper shied away, but Demetri was persistent. He prayed that the knife had hit the fleshy part of Jasper's chest muscle as intended and did not cause any more damage than necessary.

Demetri pulled out the knife, causing Jasper to cry out in agony. He then took off his own shirt and pressed it to the wound to staunch the flow of blood.

He grabbed both packs, both rifles and slung his arm around Jasper's waist to help him to stand.

"Come, _Yas_per, we find your American friends and go you home."

* * *

_**A/N**: _They're now heading south. We'll have see who they find or who finds them first.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

-FirstBlush


	28. Chapter 28 Undeniable

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

* * *

**Undeniable **

"It will be better this way."

Alice edged around the dining room table and into the front room just in time to see Bella place a light hand against Edward's cheek. The echo of Bella's words, combined with her gentle and assuring touch, allowed her husband to relax his stiff posture. He nodded once and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. At the sight of the affection between the pair, Alice turned to look away. The stab of pain that echoed in her chest reminded her that the man she hoped would shower her with that kind of love and affection would never walk through that door or greet her the same way.

Six weeks had passed since news of Jasper's death had reached her. The grief had not lessened its grip on her, but had merely begun to share space with the imposing presence of family and friends. Alice was both grateful and angry at their ever-persistent intrusion in her life.

_No, to call their presence an intrusion is too harsh._

Alice knew without a shadow of a doubt, that she would not be maintaining the façade of normalcy or even functioning without the influence of her loved ones.

_No, influence isn't right either. That's too generous, _she thought.

In truth, between the steely determination of her best friend, the well intentioned pestering of her sister, and the stiff upper lip expectations of her mother, Alice had little choice but to muddle her way through the darkness of her grief. Folding in on herself was never an option.

_It was an intersession._

Alice couldn't find purchase against the avalanche of grief that surrounded her but the women in her life quietly resolved to see her through. That isn't to say Alice didn't have help from some of her more virile friends as well. Her father took her for long walks, allowing her to find some semblance of peace while staring out at the water. Her brother-in-law regaled her with stories of the top contenders for this year's college football crown. Cy, also known as Alice's own Good Samaritan, came by with his boys to look after Alice's yard. Charlie left fresh flowers every few days by her front door. Even Emmett had called once or twice to say a quick hello and pass along a funny story to lighten the weight of her sorrow, if only for a little while.

But above all of her male protectors, it was Edward who became her closest companion in her grief. Alice wasn't sure if it was out of love for Bella, loyalty to Jasper, or his own inherent kindness but Edward Masen became a quiet unassuming shoulder for Alice to lean on. It started the night Alice destroyed her sculptures. He quietly picked up the pieces of her shattered body and held her hand long after Bella had gone to bed. Alice thought that it was because Edward had ordered Bella to bed fearful of what the added stress would do to her already risky pregnancy. But as the weeks passed, Alice came to realize that Edward held silent vigil over her whenever they were together. She'd caught him sleeping downstairs on the couch every night, often dozing with a book on his lap. At first Alice thought Edward was a night owl, but one night she found that the open book lying against his chest was completely upside down. She said nothing, instead deciding to accept his kindness quietly.

Alice would go to the kitchen and fetch a drink then settle down on the couch beside Edward. He never pushed her to talk about anything and for this Alice was glad. By the end of each day, she was tired of pretending to be "getting through it."

Though Alice had yet to spend a night in the house by herself, it was the nights that Edward took residence on the couch that made her feel less alone. He'd place a throw pillow on the cushion that separated them and scoot far to the left, allowing Alice as much room as possible.

"_I'll wake you if you're having a bad dream," he'd whispered on the first night after her breakdown. Alice nodded and laid her head down. The quilt on the back of the couch was lightly placed over her and a gentle hand came to rest on her shoulder. Each morning she'd be in her own bed when she awoke, but Edward was true to his word. No nightmares befell her while he held guard by her side. One night in seven was better than nothing._

"Alice," Bella called, lifting her gaze from her husband. "Edward is going to get the pram for Serena. Come and take a walk with us? Edward doesn't want me to go alone or tire myself out pushing Serena. I think he's being silly. I won't be going far."

"I'll come," Alice answered. "Edward's right. You shouldn't go alone."

Bella let a half smile escape for only a brief flash before she nodded and pushed her husband toward the door. Alice let out a quiet sigh, already knowing she'd been had. If Bella had asked her to go on a walk with he she'd have likely said no, or that she was tired, or that she wanted to go upstairs to lie down. But when it came to Bella taking a risk that involved her own life or that of her unborn child, Alice's natural instinct to protect her friend would suddenly spark to life. She'd always care for Bella if it were in her power. Despite the burden of her grief, Alice would still rise to the occasion, if her friend needed her.

Five minutes later, Alice was pushing a sleeping Serena along the well trodden path between her driveway and the street. Bella lifted her chin toward the sun, and pulled in a lungful of autumn in the air. As she let it go she turned to Alice, who seemed more intent on watching Serena than anything going on around her.

"This is nice; it feels good to be outside. There's a hint of early fall in the air," Bella began.

Bella's words startled Alice.

_Could it really be fall already? Could an entire season have passed without a letter from Jasper?_

Alice's grasp on the pram tightened and her shoulders tensed as if she was shying away from the image in her mind.

_There won't be any more letters,_ Alice reminded herself.

She didn't know all of the details of Jasper's death. Only that his remains and a dog tag had been found in a POW camp, the same dog tag that currently laid on a chain encircling her neck. She stroked the metal plate beneath her shirt, taking some comfort in the knowledge she was wearing something that had once lain close to his heart.

Alice lifted her gaze from the pram and seemed to notice the change in season for the first time. The leaves were still green, the sun still strong and warm, but Bella was right. There was a change in the air. Suddenly she realized what else would change with the season.

"I miss my fledglings," Alice mumbled to herself.

"I think that's a good thing."

"I never should have let my mother convince me to take a sabbatical."

"It's only for a semester," Bella replied. "And if I recall correctly, you didn't need much convincing."

A week after Alice received the awful letter stamped with Jasper's reported death, Alice still wasn't functioning much above eating and sleeping. With only two weeks to go until the start of the next school year, Amelia sat her daughter down at her kitchen table to talk. Amelia had hoped that discussing a sabbatical would bring Alice forward through her haze of grief. Instead Alice quietly agreed with her mother that in her current state, going back to teaching wouldn't be in her best interests or that of her students. Amelia expected a fire of indignation from her daughter, instead she received distant acknowledgement.

For Bella's part, she knew how much teaching meant to Alice. Seeing young minds blossom was part of what made Alice the woman she admired, trusted and loved. A silent exhale of relief flowed over Bella's lips at the idea of Alice missing the start of the school year.

"I thought it was for the best at the time. But _now_…now I just feel useless. Teaching was the one thing I could always turn to to remind myself that I was contributing. I didn't expect to become a mother myself, but through teaching I could still nurture a child's beautiful innocence into confidence."

"You can," Bella replied before changing her tone. "You _will_."

Bella's sharp tone brought Alice up short. She turned to see the fire in Bella's eyes. For a moment Alice thought Bella had some Amelia Brandon in her, but upon second glance she realized this was all Bella. This was the fire of determination that came from her time away at war. The woman standing beside her was quietly setting the example for Alice of what you can overcome.

"You know what I'm afraid of?"

Bella shook her head no.

"I'm afraid of a little seven year old boy named Brady."

"Why?" Bella asked with a furrowed brow.

She couldn't imagine why a seven year old would be the most distressing of Alice's fears.

"I made him a promise. I promised I would introduce him to Jasper."

"Oh, Alice," Bella sighed wrapping an arm about Alice's shoulders.

"Brady worked really hard last year, and when he improved I asked him if there was anything special he wanted to celebrate it. He said he wanted to meet the real live soldier who gave me this compass."

Alice reached into the pocket lining her skirt and opened her hand to Bella. There in the center of her palm was the tiny button compass that Jasper had sent her for her treasure jar. Bella's eyes went wide, knowing the true purpose the tiny instrument.

"He sent this to you? Before the war was even over in Europe?"

Alice nodded in reply.

"Did he tell you about it?"

"No, but it's a compass, Bella. It's not hard to figure it out."

"These were carried by British pilots in the event that their planes were ever downed. The compass would be hidden in place of a button, like on a shirt or trousers. That way if the airman was cap—" Bella choked on the word, unable to finish the story.

"Go ahead, you can say it, Bella. If he was captured, he'd still have something to point his way home."

"Alice," Bella soothed. "You were Jasper's compass. He only needed to think of you to know the way home. And I truly believe that if there were any way possible to get home he would have, for you."

"Bella, I don't know how I can go back to teaching no matter how much I may want it. Nothing's changed. I can't face Brady or his question. I can't face the pity in the eyes of the other students, or their parents. I can't even go to church on Sunday without seeing the sorrow in the eyes of everyone around me. I see it in my mother, in my sister, even in you. Do you have _any_ idea how that feels?"

"Yes."

"How can you say that to me? Your every happiness is standing in my living room right this minute peering through the glass and anxiously awaiting your return."

"He wasn't always, Alice." Bella said carefully. Alice had stopped walking and Bella turned back to see Alice standing there waiting for her to continue. "We were separated when Edward was sent to the front line right before Normandy. I didn't hear from him for a very long time. There was a time when I wanted to believe he was fine but there were these reports..."

"You thought he was dead?"

"That's what I'd been told," Bella whispered. She took a deep breath to steel herself before bringing up the memories.

Alice led Bella over to a bench at the end of the street so she could rest before making the walk home.

"It was about a month after the air raid. I was struggling to survive the burns," Bella began. She closed her eyes and visibly shuddered. "They said he died on a mission about a month after the invasion."

Alice shook her head in disbelief. "How did you cope between the burns and caring for Serena…"

Bella looked down, there were still things Alice didn't know about her time away at war, but now wasn't the time. Bella prayed that Alice would some day understand why she had chosen to edge around the truth. Her words came as a whisper against the waving grass that surrounded their seat. She didn't want to say these words directly to Alice's face.

"I didn't believe them."

"I don't understand. Are you suggesting that I shouldn't believe that Jasper—"

"Oh, Alice, no, that's not what I'm saying. It's just that it was different. They didn't have his dog tags or his remains to bury. I just… Bella covered her face with her hands. "This isn't the way I wanted to tell you about my time away at war. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I know what it feels like. I know what I felt like. I saw it in people's eyes, too, but I couldn't give up. I had to survive for Serena and Edward. You can't give up either."

Bella reached into the pram and stroked the soft plump skin of Serena's cheek. Serena puckered her pink lips and began to suckle her thumb in her sleep.

"Eventually Edward returned from his mission. He'd been injured in France and sent back to London to recuperate. Edward came and found me and when he did, he saw what kind of shape I was in. I'd developed an infection and it was taking its toll. Edward and Jasper went off to get the penicillin the doctor needed to save my life. At the time penicillin was only being kept with the forward hospitals to treat battle wounds on the front lines. Edward and Jasper were able to get some from a unit that was about to board a ship bound for France."

"How close, Bella?" Alice asked almost afraid of the answer. She wanted to know how close her friend had come to not making it home.

"_Very._ I was unconscious when they made it back but they made it. I'm able to be a mother to Serena because of it."

Alice watched Bella slowly stroke the amber curls atop Serena's head. Once again Alice quietly whispered a prayer of thanks to God for sending Jasper into their lives.

"The point of all of this is that even when I was at my worst, even when they told me that Edward was gone, I found a reason to survive. Edward and Serena were more important than anything else. I couldn't fail, not without giving up my last breath in trying. I know Jasper would have done the same for you, Alice. Please, _please, _don't dishonor his memory by letting your own life fall to waste. He wouldn't have wanted that for you."

Tears streaked down Alice's cheeks as she nodded in response.

"I know how strong he was. He wrote about making sure another world war never happened again. He wanted to be sure that no more American sons ever had to face the threat of losing their lives to war. That's why he wanted to go to Berlin."

Bella turned and placed her hand on Alice's cheek imploring her with words.

"So don't be afraid to answer Brady's questions. Tell him about the man you loved, the soldier who fought to end the war. Then teach him about peace and hopefully through each child you instruct, each mind you reach, we'll all serve the fallen soldier's cry for peace."

Alice's face fell to Bella's shoulder and she sobbed over the long journey ahead of her.

"Just take it one day at a time," Bella whispered. "One step, one small inch forward. We'll be behind you. We won't let you fall, Alice."

Alice still wept but nodded into Bella's shoulder. Bella gently rubbed her back, wishing she could take away all of Alice's pain.

"Alice?"

"Hmmm?" She sniffed without raising her head.

"I know Edward has been there for you in a quiet way, but maybe, when you're feeling up to it, you could talk to him too? He would never tell you this himself, but he's having a hard time dealing with Jasper's death. Maybe you could help each other."

"I knew he was upset, but I thought he just held the same look of pity that everyone else seemed to have."

Bella shook her head. "It's not."

"Then what is it?"

"Ask him, Alice. It needs to come from him." Bella looked up at the sky, gauging that they'd been gone nearly an hour. "Come on, let's get back. You're right about Edward anxiously peering through the glass. Just know that it's not only Serena and me he's watching for," Bella said softly as she wiped the final tears from Alice's cheeks. "He's looking out for you too."

aa**AA**aa

Sometime around midnight Alice crept down the stairs in search of a glass of milk and her nightly companion often found pretending to read on her couch. True to form, Edward laid dozing with a book upon his chest. After retrieving a glass for herself and one for Edward, she set them both on the coffee table and turned to notice the book resting upon Edward's chest. Tonight he'd chosen _The Count of Monte Cristo_. Alice wondered if he was dreaming of avenging heroes, disguises and aliases or if he'd even cracked the first page. Given that the book seemed to be neatly divided in two upon his chest, Alice doubted he'd read a couple hundred pages in a single sitting.

_No. I'm guessing your thoughts are gnawing at you too._

Alice dropped a throw pillow beside him, hoping the sound and flutter of air would be enough to rouse Edward without waking his sleeping wife and child.

"Hey," Edward called sleepily after giving his arms a stretch.

Alice looked at his haggard face and decided Bella's desire to have them talk could wait. Edward looked like he needed the chance at a few more hours of shuteye.

"Hey," she replied back, taking her seat in the far corner of the couch. "It's late. Why don't you go up to bed?"

"No, this book is ah, really good."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, don't want to put it down."

"Have you reached the part about Edmond marrying Mercédès yet?"

"Uh…not yet."

"Edward," Alice began, reaching across the couch to place her hand on the pillow between them. "Their engagement is blown apart by forces conspiring against them. That becomes apparent quickly, like in the first few chapters."

Edward looked away from her stare.

"I know you're down here waiting for me to have another nightmare," Alice continued when Edward wouldn't look up. "You're down here every night you stay over aren't you?"

Edward only nodded, still refusing to meet Alice's eyes.

"I couldn't stand to see you go through that again," he whispered.

Without asking Alice knew Edward was referring to the night he picked her up off the floor of her studio.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back, remembering Bella describing Edward from earlier that afternoon.

"You're sorry?" Edward asked incredulously finally turning to look at her. "Alice, _you're_ sorry?"

Alice nodded slowly. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

"Alice you're not the one who should be sorry. I am. I'm the reason you looked like that in the first place."

"What are you talking about?"

"I left. I left him. I could have protected him, helped him."

"Edward, it's _not _your fault. You have to stop this! You left for her," Alice avowed, pointing toward the bedroom at the top of the stairs. "You left for your daughter. Jasper wouldn't blame you for that and neither do I. Why would you take this on yourself? Do you think I should blame Charlie for being his superior or Alec for being lucky enough to be sent home before him?"

"It's not the same."

"How is it not the same? They were each a part of Jasper's life, just as you were, and they take no more responsibility in his…"

Alice stopped, unable to finish her sentence. She still had a hard time getting the word out.

"It's different because I had a debt to repay, Alice. Now I feel like I'm dragging not one but two heavy chains around my neck."

"I don't understand, what debt?"

"My brother Riley died in my arms at sixteen. _Sixteen, _Alice! I went off to war a week later and my only goal was to die in someone else's place. I wanted the missions no one else wanted. I wanted someone else to make it home because I couldn't bear to go back and see the look of grief on my parents' faces. It's the same look I see every day in you."

More than anything else, Alice was stopped cold by how her grief affected Edward and those around her who were trying so hard to comfort her.

"I'm trying, Edward. I swear I am," Alice sobbed and laid her head on the pillow between them.

"I know you are," Edward answered with a light stroke of Alice's hair. "I wouldn't be able to find air to fill my lungs if it was Bella."

"How did your brother die?"

"He was shot in a grocery store while I was trying to subdue a robber. I didn't know he'd followed me into the store. He saw me try to knock the man down and when the gun went off, he took the bullet that was surely meant for me."

"It's not your fault, Edward."

"That's something that is very hard for me to accept. Bella was the first person to break through that grief. She made me see that not having the will to survive would only hurt my parents in the long run. She was right but I still carry it with me every day. Now, the weight just grows heavier."

"You know what she said to me today?"

"No."

"She begged me not to dishonor Jasper's memory by letting my life fall to waste. She's right you know. He wouldn't want that for me and he wouldn't have wanted that for you either. He'd want you to enjoy that little girl up there and the new little one on the way. He'd want you to live the life he c—" Alice broke down unable to finish.

"I'm so sorry, Alice."

"You're sorry. I'm sorry. _Everyone_ is sorry. But Bella is right. To just curl up and wither is to waste the gift he gave you, your life."

"Sometimes I hate her when she's right."

Alice laughed in spite of herself, through a snotty nose and a puddle of tears on the pillow. "Me too."

Edward took a deep breath, seeming to need to brace himself before speaking again.

"I've been putting something off, that's part of what Bella is talking about. She's been trying to help me come to terms with it, but she figured that you'd help me see it was time and maybe that it might also help you in the process."

"What have you been putting off?"

"Visiting Jasper's parents."

Alice stiffened but didn't move from her reclined position on the couch.

"When Charlie delivered the news about Jasper, he also brought a "goodbye" letter to his folks. He brought it to me instead of mailing it. You see when a soldier dies, sometimes his best— Sometimes his closest buddy delivers the letter in person. I've been hanging onto the letter for six weeks. I can't put it in the mail. I have to put it in their hands and tell them about the way he lived and died in person."

More tears fell as Alice struggled to imagine Edward doing this for his friend.

"Bella can't make the trip. She's too far along with the baby, but together we decided that when it was time I would take Serena with me."

"Really? That's such a long trip for her being so young."

"I want to walk into their home with proof of the life he gave me. She's the image of everything I wouldn't have had without his influence on my life. I want them to see what he selflessly fought for, what he gave back to me."

For once, Alice was crying tears of gratitude rather than loss for her love.

Edward laid a light hand on Alice's shoulder. "Do you want to come with us?"

"I—I don't."

"It's all right, the offer stands. Just think about it."

"What about Bella?"

"She didn't want that to be part of your decision to go, or mine. She said she'd have my parents and our neighbors, the Carlozzi's, look after her. She'd have the doctor check in on her every few days, and she promised to take it easy. She already quit her position with the OSS. She wanted to be there for you."

"Edward, I don't know if I can do it, but I'll at least think about it."

Edward nodded and helped Alice to her feet. He turned off all the lights and followed her silently up the stairs.

Alice laid in her bed thinking of the conversation Edward would have with Jasper's parents. Edward would tell them about his life away at war. What could she offer them, more pain for what will never be? She'd cry and look to them for consolation when they'd be in just as much pain. The more she thought about the visit, the more she came to believe that the visit should be about Edward and the gifts Jasper had given him. She wanted to tell them of his kindness, of his humor, of his gentleness and respect for her. She wanted them to know how much she loved him and looked forward to building a life with him. Still she had a hard time imagining the look of sorrow in their eyes without breaking down herself. She didn't want the visit to be about what she didn't have with him, but a chance to be happy for what she did have. She already knew she had the best part of Jasper Allan Whitlock, _his heart_.

Alice stirred restlessly all night, dreaming of visiting Jasper's folks and trying to be strong for them and for him. Each time she reached the Whitlock's front porch, she saw herself breaking under the weight of her sorrow. In the slip of her dream between the dawn of awakening and the fog of her slumber, she saw him. Jasper was smiling brightly, leaning with folded arms up against a tall scraggly tree. It was warm and the light danced around his locks gilding them with sunlight.

_I've been waiting for you, Miss Alice, _he said with a grin in his slow southern drawl.

Alice ran to him and threw her arms around him, finally taking the first sweet kiss of his lips. His arms were full and strong. His breaths were warm and sweet. His body was solid and whole.

_Guess you're going to see my Ma soon._

Alice pulled back from his embrace shaking her head, doubting she had the strength to manage the trip without becoming a basket case.

_You can, _he said, gliding the back of his curled fingers against her cheek. _You can go. They'd want to see you._

_ I—I want to, but I don't know how to survive it without you._

_I'll be with you, sweetheart. _A cocky half grin appeared on his face as he took her lips once more. When he finally released her from his embrace he brushed his thumb along her cheekbone. _You know, you could always do what I did, _he said with a chuckle.

_What's that? _Alice asked, unable to hold in the smile blooming on her face in response to his.

_Introduce yourself; write her a letter. Then win her heart. _

Alice woke with a start, still feeling warm lips and light breaths against her skin. She lifted a finger to touch them and feel a memory of Jasper that for the first time in weeks had made her smile. She looked upon his photograph on her nightstand and softly repeated his words.

"Write her a letter; then win her heart."

* * *

**A/N: **There is a companion chapter to this one that explains Bella's experience when she was away at war. I'll post it tonight or on Saturday if you're interested in reading it. It will be chapter 33 of The Last Breath. i'm planning to leave it there for about a week before making it a stand alone one-shot, so if you can't find it, check my story list.

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:** chapter 28 Undeniable

**Story reference: **Edward has The Count of Monte Cristo laid upon his chest while waiting for Alice to come downstairs.

**Historical Significance: **The Count of Monte Cristo is an adventure novel by Alexandre Dumas, père. It's an adventure story of hope, justice, vengeance, mercy and forgiveness.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/The_Count_of_Monte_Cristo

* * *

_From next week's chapter:_

"Demetri, you have to go find them and bring them back. I can't go any further," Jasper finally coughed out in defeat.

"No, _Yas_-per, you must come. I can not go without you."

Jasper shook his head and continued, "When you find them, tell them I'm here. You can lead them back to me."

"What if they no believe me? _Yas_-per, I Russian. I have weapon but no army. If they find me alone they send me back to Russian Army. Come, please, _please_."

Looking into the desperate, dark eyes of the man before him, Jasper couldn't say no. After all, Demetri was right. Jasper knew first hand from his talk with the Hussars around the campfire that despite the pleas for assistance, even the Hussars had turned away the would-be deportees they found.

_"…they begged for our help. Help getting to London or New York." The man shrugged._

_"What did you do?"_

_"What do you think we did? We fucking followed orders."_

Jasper didn't have the strength to do more than nod in response to Demetri's plea for help.

_They follow orders, _Jasper thought grimly as Demetri hefted him back to his feet. He couldn't promise him a life in the states, but he'd do everything in his power to at least give him have a chance. For that was no less than what Demetri had done for him.

**Thanks for reading and for letting me know what you think,**

**-FirstBlush**


	29. Chapter 29 Survival

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: Special thanks go to jasela for her help in sorting out Jasper's injuries. There isn't any violence in this chapter, but some parts may be tough._

* * *

**Survival**

"_Yas_per."

Silence.

"_Yas-_per," Demetri tried again. "You need eat."

"Mmmnnmmmh."

Water dribbled over Jasper's lips. He swallowed to clear his throat but didn't open his eyes.

"_Yas-_per, I go now. I be back soon. Then you eat."

The sounds of fleeting footfalls in the forest were the last sounds Jasper heard before succumbing once again to a restless sleep.

jj**JJ**jj

Several hours passed before Jasper once again heard the now familiar lilt to his name as Demetri beckoned him.

"_Yas-_per…_Yas-_per wake. You must wake now."

The day they'd escaped, Demetri bound Jasper's wound as best he could before leaving the campsite and Vladimir's corpse behind. Jasper's jagged wound most certainly required stitches to close it, but all Demetri had available to him was a spare shirt that he tore into rags. Without any medical training or supplies, Demetri could only do as much as change the makeshift bandages once they became saturated in Jasper's blood. Morosely, that was far too often for either man's comfort. It seemed as though no sooner would Jasper's wound clot before a sudden movement would reopen it, wringing him out in pain.

In the first few days the disparate pair moved several miles south, but as time waned so did their progress. The distance traveled each day became shorter and shorter as the time Jasper needed to recover grew longer. Eventually, Demetri began scouting the area miles into the distance before returning late in the day to coax Jasper to travel as much ground as possible. Each day Jasper grew weaker from the loss of blood, but it wasn't until the wound became inflamed and a fever began to set in that Demetri understood the gravity of his new comrade's condition. Without any other option available, Demetri coaxed and prodded Jasper forward, helping him move whatever distance possible south toward the Americans. Demetri never considered leaving him to survive on his own an option.

Finally, after many days of traveling without seeing another living soul, a spark of hope had Demetri tearing through the forest to return to the stricken man. He saw someone, and not just any someone. He found what they had been looking for. Demetri tried to be gentle as he roused Jasper from slumber, but the jostling of Jasper's _good_ shoulder still made him wince in pain.

"_Yas_-per, I find your Americans! We need go, _now._"

"Demetri?"

"Yes, it me. Come, we go find them together. Not much far."

Buoyed by the recognition of help and home, Jasper struggled to lift himself from the forest floor. Demetri quickly packed up their modest campsite and threw Jasper's good arm around his shoulder. His and Vladimir's packs were strung over his back. Finally, Demetri leaned forward to pick up his rifle. He turned to balance Jasper against a tree while he slipped the worn leather straps of the heavy rifles over Jasper's head and across his chest.

"Demetri, no. I can't," Jasper moaned at the movement.

"_Yas_-per, you must carry weapons. If I carry, you are my prisoner. If you carry, then we escape together. Americans will not believe me. Please, _Yas_-per."

Jasper nodded and allowed Demetri once again to take his good arm over his shoulder. Every step made him stifle a cry of agony.

"I'm cold, Demetri."

"Yes, Americans have coverings to keep warm. They have food and drink and medicine too. We find them soon, _Yas_-per."

Though the distance Demetri traveled to find the Americans was not likely more than a few miles, Jasper's strength was waning quickly. Not thirty minutes into their trip, they had to stop for Jasper to rest. Demetri practically poured the water from their canteen down his throat. Excess flowed over his lips, down his neck and into the sweat sodden shirt that clung to his wound.

"Demetri, I need to rest just a bit longer."

But Demetri would hear none of it. The risk of losing the Americans was too great. The longer it took them to find help, the less likely Jasper would be alive to accept it.

"Come, we go now."

Though the two men were well matched in size, it took nearly everything Demetri had to keep them on their feet. Jasper's movements were sluggish and uncoordinated. He could do little more than hang on while momentum pushed the men forward. Demetri, fearful that Jasper would pass out, began asking questions to help him stay conscious.

"Tell me again of girl, Alice, and _treas-_ures."

Jasper sucked in a deep breath and pushed aside his pain to revel in happier thoughts of his girl and her home.

"Alice lives by water," he began. "When she was little, she would go on walks with her family to search for treasures. Seashells, rocks, shiny pebbles, sand dollars, almost anything she could find went into a glass jar that sat on her father's desk."

"What are these _sand_ dollars?"

"It's a shell that turns white when the animal that lives inside it dies. The tale is that if you cracked open the shell, five tiny doves would fall from inside."

"What are doves?"

Jasper didn't have the strength to flap his wings in mock imitation so he just lifted his chin to the sky.

"They're birds with beautiful white feathers."

"Birds are in shell?"

"No, no," Jasper managed a small laugh that seemed more like a cough. "The bits inside the shell are said to look like doves. It is meant as a symbol of peace."

"Doves are peace?"

"In some cultures and faiths, yes, doves are a symbol of peace."

"_Da_, peace_. Boga mira_," Demetri said, raising his free hand to the heavens.

"Yes," Jasper said with a heavy breath. "And by God's hand there will be peace after all of this."

The conversation had its desired effect. Jasper managed another forty minutes before his limbs became too heavy to lift. An ill placed foot on a fallen log sent both men tumbling to the ground. Demetri heaved as he crashed over top of Jasper. Both men landed nearly face first on the forest floor. Jasper moaned in agony and Demetri lost all of the breath in his lungs. He tried to take the worst of the fall absorbing it with his body while trying to spare Jasper in the process.

As they lay on the ground both gasping for air, Demetri acknowledged how desperate their situation was. All of his energy had been spent getting them this far. Nothing in the forest seemed familiar and he started to fear they'd gotten turned around and lost in their struggles to remain upright.

Beside Demetri, Jasper was breathing too hard and too fast. The jolt of pain in his shoulder when they fell made him see stars. He didn't think it was physically possible for him to go much further.

Ignorant of Jasper's internal struggle to keep going, Demetri passed the canteen in Jasper's direction. Jasper didn't have the strength to reach for it. So Demetri crawled over and lifted Jasper's head so that he could take a few sips of the proffered drink.

"Demetri, you have to go find them and bring them back. I can't go any further," Jasper finally coughed out in defeat.

"No, _Yas_-per, you must come. I can not go without you."

Jasper shook his head and continued, "When you find them, tell them I'm here. You can lead them back to me."

"What if they no believe me? _Yas_-per, I Russian. I have weapon but no army. If they find me alone they send me back to Russian Army. Come, please, _please_."

Looking into the desperate, dark eyes of the man before him, Jasper couldn't say no. After all, Demetri was right. Jasper knew first hand from his talk with the Hussars around the campfire that despite the pleas for assistance, even the Hussars had turned away the would-be deportees they found.

_"…they begged for our help. Help getting to London or New York." The man shrugged._

_ "What did you do?"_

_ "What do you think we did? We fucking followed orders."_

Jasper didn't have the strength to do more than nod in response to Demetri's plea for help.

_They follow orders, _Jasper thought grimly as Demetri hefted him back to his feet. He couldn't promise him a life in the states, but he'd do everything in his power to at least give him have a chance. For that was no less than what Demetri had done for him.

Once Jasper was back on his feet, Demetri turned to grab the packs. Unfortunately, the movement knocked the unstable pair off balance and they nearly crashed to the ground once again.

"Demetri, leave the packs," Jasper moaned. "If we find Americans we won't need them. If we don't then you can come back for them. Right now you can't manage them and keep me on my feet at the same time."

Apprehension struck Demetri as he swallowed hard. The last physical reminders of his parents and sister were held within his pack. He looked at Jasper's pale and feverish form, knowing that the man before him had already given up everything to get to this point. Leaving Jasper by the tree, Demetri quickly rifled through the pack and pulled out a thin stack of letters. He shoved them into his shirt and resumed the task of lifting Jasper to his feet.

"_Da._ I no need packs. We find Americans now."

Early afternoon fell into a stifling haze. The pace of their march continued to slow as sunlight began to drift closer to the horizon. Beyond the sounds of the forest, the loudest sounds heard were those of Jasper's heavy breaths and fumbling footfalls. Nearing exhaustion, Demetri almost offered to rest for awhile when the crack of a rifle charging the bolt froze both men in their tracks.

"HALT!" a voice shouted in the distance.

Jasper, barely aware of what had stopped their progress, listed against Demetri's side. He for one was grateful for the chance to rest.

"Stay where you are, don't move," the voice called out again.

Hearing the English words filled Demetri with immense relief. They had _finally_ come upon the Americans.

A single man eased through the brush about fifty yards ahead of them. His eyes flitted wildly from side to side while the barrel of his rifle was pointed squarely at Jasper and Demetri.

"Who are you?" he called.

For what else could the soldier ask? Before him stood two men who were filthy from head to foot. One was obviously injured and barely conscious, while the other seemed to be holding up the first. The injured man was dressed in an American army uniform, but the second was Russian for sure. The one in the American uniform carried the weapons, but that alone did not ease the weary soldier's suspicions. He had been taught to trust no one. The deception of the enemy knew no bounds and even he realized that the current peace was as fragile as a thread.

The soldier's question would serve to identify the men before him. By the nature of their voices he'd learn if they were what their uniforms represented. Anything suspect would likely earn them a warning shot. It would also alert the men patrolling around him that he needed help while warning the ones in front of him that the next round would be aimed at their heads. Still neither man before him spoke, and the longer the silence stretched between the three men, the more anxious the one pointing his rifle became.

Demetri knew well enough that he could not be the one to answer the soldier's question. It _had _to come from Jasper. Jasper knew their language and customs. He would be the one who could calm the fury in the young soldier's eyes. He could also have the power to doom or save Demetri with a single word.

_How the tides have changed,_ Demetri thought.

It wasn't that long ago when Demetri was the one to save with a single word. He was the one who begged Vladimir to stop when he stood in the forest beating the life out of Jasper.

Unfortunately for Demetri, Jasper was not of any mind to defend him. He was adrift in a sea of pain and fever induced delirium. Realizing that the soldier holding the rifle in their direction was quickly losing his patience, Demetri did the only thing he could to rouse Jasper to words. He shifted his hand and applied pressure to Jasper's wound, fervently praying that the resulting scream wouldn't cause the soldier to fire.

"I said, _don't move_!" the rattled man shouted above Jasper's piercing cry. "Exactly who the hell are you?"

Heavy with ragged breaths, Jasper struggled to clear his head of the pain and answer the man shouting at him.

"I'm American," Jasper rasped. The words were eerily similar to the ones Tanner shouted in Jasper's direction just moments before Vladimir shot him.

"What are you doing out here? And who the hell is with you?" the man barked without lowering his weapon.

"I was captured by the Russian Army to be held in exchange for the release of Russian POWs who were trying to defect. This man helped me escape." Jasper stopped for a moment to catch his breath. "His name is Demetri…Demetri Petrovski, and I owe him my life."

Jasper sagged under the weight of his explanation. His body neared collapse from the combination of his wound, the fever wracking his body, and seemingly endless treks through the forest.

"Throw down your weapons," the American ordered. His face and hands slick with sweat. He believed the injured man was American but would feel a hell of a lot better about helping him once he was disarmed.

Demetri, understanding the soldier's demand, gently pried himself from beneath Jasper's good arm. He lowered Jasper to the ground and lifted the burden of the heavy weapons from their position across Jasper's chest. He removed it as gently as possible despite Jasper's shrieks and please for mercy. Once removed, Demetri threw the weapon off to the side along with the knife from his belt in a show of good faith.

Demetri then fell to his knees and laced his hands behind his head. He bowed his head in supplication to the American before him.

The soldier allowed his shoulders to relax and lowered his weapon just a fraction before calling out at the top of his lungs.

"Medic! I need a _medic!_"

Demetri let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He felt some measure of relief that they'd finally reached the Americans. He didn't understand the word medic, but hoped the American was bringing help, and with it the chance for Jasper to make it home to his family. In the same breath, he prayed that his kindness to Jasper would not go unrecognized.

"Are you Russian like he says? You followed my command. Do you speak English?" the soldier asked.

"Da," Demetri answered before he shook his head to dispel the words that naturally flowed in his native tongue. "Yes," he quickly corrected himself. "I know your English."

"Why did you help him?" the soldier questioned.

Before Demetri could respond, two more soldiers burst through the forest in search of the soldier who cried out for help. They, like the first American, had weapons at the ready.

"Mitchel, what's going on?"

"The man down is American. He's in bad shape. This one is unharmed. He's a _Russian._"

"A Russian with a single injured American? That doesn't make any sense."

"The injured one said this man had helped him escape from his Russian captors. I don't know how he was injured or if more Russians are coming after him."

Demetri kept quiet, knowing it was better not to speak while the men deliberated the truth of Jasper's words. A fire began building inside him, urging him to scream at the top of his lungs. He wanted them to debate later and help Jasper now before it was too late for him to corroborate any more of their story.

"Cover me," the one with the red cross upon his arm ordered.

The first American kept his gun trained on Demetri while the other swept his across the surrounding forest. The medic leapt into action, having decided he'd heard enough to spur him into helping the fallen soldier. He sped forward to cross the twenty yards that separated him from the downed man.

"Tell me your name, soldier," he asked as he knelt at Jasper's side.

Jasper didn't recognize the sounds floating around his head as words. He only felt the rip of cloth and the resulting pain that accompanied his wound being reopened by someone peeling the blood soaked rags from his chest.

"Can you tell me where you're from? Do you remember the name of your unit?"

Jasper didn't reply. He only shuddered against what he believed was the cold chill of the frozen earth beneath him. He only wanted to be warm.

_Please, a blanket, a field jacket,…anything._

"The wound is infected," the medic called out to his companions. "He's burning up and probably septic. There isn't much we can do for him here. We need to get him back to the unit and then transport him to a forward hospital," he barked in frustration as he worked to bandage Jasper's wound with clean supplies.

"I'm going to give you something for the pain, private," he told Jasper, though he wasn't sure the injured man recognized the words. He only guessed the soldier was a private by the formation of the missing stripes Stephan's man had torn from his arm.

A needle pricked Jasper, rousing him momentarily. His head had fallen to the side when the medic ripped open his shirt. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Demetri on his knees with his hands clasped behind his head. Jasper licked his lips and the medic moved to pour some water into his mouth.

"Help him," Jasper coughed around the water that trickled down his throat.

"We're going to help you first," the medic replied.

_"Please," _Jasper begged.

The medic saw the fear in the young soldier's eyes and worried that these would be the last words of a dying man. He hoped the morphine he'd just injected would take hold before they had to move him.

"Just rest, we'll do what we can to help both of you."

The medic began pulling supplies from his pack in order to ready a makeshift stretcher to transport Jasper.

"No—" Jasper moaned.

The medic wondered if he should give the private a second shot for the pain but feared it would be too much for his weakened system to handle. He knew from the rate of the private's ragged breaths and pulse he was obviously already in trouble.

Jasper moaned again, trying to get the medic's attention before he succumbed to the blissful call of drug-induced obliteration.

"Don't send him back," Jasper begged, flailing lamely at the medic's chest.

In his mind the nightmares he'd had of the Russian Gulags came roaring at him. Only this time Jasper wasn't the one starving for food and working until his body failed him, it was Demetri. Jasper tried to speak again but wasn't sure if the words ever left his mouth. He just kept repeating his words as the darkness took over his mind.

_Please, just don't send him back._

* * *

_A/N: Our pair has found the Americans! Thank heavens, right? If you're a reader who'd prefer to know how far we are from the prologue let me know in a review and I'll answer it for you. if you'd prefer to be surprised I think that's great too. I hope you all enjoy how the rest of the story plays out._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing._

_See you next week._

_-FirstBlush_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:** Chapter 29 Survival

**Story reference: **Jasper tells Demetri about sand dollars and the belief that the broken shell forms the image of tiny doves.

**Historical Significance: **"…When broken, inside the shell are five little birds called the Doves of Peace. Some say they are the Angels that sang to the Shepherds the First Christmas Morning."

Image of the doves is found in the Other Interesting facts section at bottom of the page.

**Source: **http:/bss(dot)sfsu(dot)edu/holzman/courses/fall02%20projects/sandollar/sanddollar(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **While plagued with fever Jasper begs for the comforting warmth of a blanket or a field jacket.

**Historical Significance: **WWII M-1943 (M-43) field jacket, worn by the troops who fought at Anzio, Normandy, the Battle of the Bulge, and through the end of the war.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)uswings(dot)com/images/alphaM43_225(dot)jpg


	30. Chapter 30 Beyond Mourning

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

* * *

** Beyond Mourning**

Alice stared at the blank pages before her, hoping that inspiration or at least some courage would suddenly strike. She needed a charge to get her to pick up the pen and write _something_.

The first time Alice opened the drawer that contained her stationary, she immediately shut it and fled her bedroom. The sight of the fine paper with the capital letter A embossed at the top brought back a flood of memories that were too painful to confront. It had taken weeks for her to summon the courage to open that drawer, instead of seeing paper, she was bombarded by the memory of the last time she penned a letter. Alice avoided even looking at her desk for days thereafter. Eventually a few crisp sheets found their way to the top of her desk, but sadly they remained as blank as a canvas of new fallen snow.

_One step forward, two steps back._

Six weeks had passed since Edward invited Alice to travel with him to Texas, and once again Alice found herself in front of the clean stack of pages. She hoped that by being in a new setting she'd find the strength to begin a letter to the parents of her lost love. The mahogany desk in the spare bedroom of Bella and Edward's home in Cinnaminson was certainly different but no more comforting than the one in her own bedroom. So far, the change of scenery had accomplished little in the way of sparking inspiration. The words should have flown easily from her fingertips, but hadn't. Alice knew what she wanted to express. She wanted the letter to introduce herself, and give the Whitlocks a look into the love she shared with their son. Still, the pages remained decidedly blank before her.

Alice lifted her eyes from the paper and lightly traced a finger along the edge of the silver picture frame sitting on the desk beside her. Jasper's image continued to travel with Alice wherever she went.

_How on earth did you write to me that first time? _Alice asked the photograph. _ This is so hard even though I already know they're good people. After all, they raised you, didn't they?_

Alice felt no shame in carrying on silent conversations with Jasper. She needed the comfort of hearing his voice respond in her mind. Though some might question the bounds of her sanity by talking to a ghost, to her it seemed infinitely better than breaking all of her studio pieces or staring through the pane glass window in her bedroom.

_Just get on with it, _Alice chastised herself. _It's time._

With that Alice shut her eyes and said a little prayer for strength before picking up the pen and pressing it into the blank pages. The black ink spread across the fine linen forever marking her introduction to the couple she had hoped to one day call her second parents.

_October 15, 1945_

_ Dear Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock,_

_My name is Mary Alice Brandon. I live in a little town called Easton in the state of Maryland. I may not have met Jasper in person, but I can say without a shadow of doubt that I truly love your son._

"Love?" Alice whispered. _Present tense?_

Alice started reading the sentence with the word lov_ed_ in its place, but the word caught in her throat each time she tried. Stunned into silence, Alice knew she hadn't stopped loving Jasper. She felt that her love for him was as certain as the sun rising in the east. She would love him when she sat down to dinner and when she crawled into bed tonight. She would love him when she woke in the morning, when she laughed, when she cried, and most certainly when she dreamt. She hadn't stopped loving Jasper and she doubted she ever would.

The sound of shuffling fabric and a quiet sigh broke Alice from her thoughts. Placing the pen back down on the desk, she turned and walked a few paces to the wooden crib in the far corner of the room. There lay her niece, Serena, sucking her thumb for all it was worth. Alice smiled, and although she should have left Serena to a few more minutes of her nap, she couldn't help but reach out and lightly finger her soft brown curls.

Though the motion was gentle, Serena's eyes popped open with the sensation of Alice's touch. She smiled widely and lifted her arms, beckoning her favored aunt to pluck her from her cradle and shower her with affection. Alice happily obliged, cooing and singing to Serena while changing her wet diaper and helping her don a pretty dress.

"I need you to do me a favor," Alice asked as she brushed Serena's curls.

Serena looked up at her aunt and lifted a chubby paw to pull on Alice's hair in a rough version that mimicked Alice's ministrations with the hairbrush. Alice kissed Serena's forehead and traced a gentle finger along the curve of her cheek.

"I need you to mind your manners and be a good girl for the Whitlocks." Alice took a steadying breath before placing her lips against Serena's cheek and whispering, "Then tell them I love him too."

The time it took to descend the flight of stairs to the living room seemed shorter than normal. Alice knew she'd have to hand off her godchild to her mother and allow them time to themselves to say goodbye, but the impending loss of Serena's warmth and innocence was painful. Sure enough, as soon as they reached the bottom stair, Bella eagerly plucked Serena from Alice's arms and took her into the kitchen to feed her lunch. Edward was planning to leave shortly after the noonday meal; the time for goodbyes was running short.

A new wave of guilt rolled over Alice. Edward already asked her to come with him to see the Whitlocks, but deep down Alice knew she wasn't ready. Edward was going to deliver Jasper's farewell letter to his parents, and Alice feared her presence would only bring the couple more pain. She didn't want that. She wanted to tell them about all the happiness their son brought into her life, but felt she needed the distance of a letter to do it without completely falling apart. Although there were some mixed emotions over not making the trip, Alice knew it was for the best. Deep in her heart she realized that now just wasn't the right time.

Though Alice knew she should give Bella a few private moments with her daughter, Alice couldn't help but pause and watch the playful interaction between mother and child. A trembling hand covered Alice's mouth and a second wrapped around her stomach as she thought of their upcoming separation. Alice struggled to hold back the emotions boiling inside of her. A warm hand placed lightly on her shoulder caused Alice to jump. Though Edward hadn't said anything, Alice could feel worry emanate through his touch.

"I'll look out for her, Edward."

For a time Edward didn't respond; he just continued to gaze at his wife and child.

"Promise me you'll tell me if she needs me," his voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat to strengthen it. "I'll cut the trip short and find a way back to her."

"I promise."

Alice turned and laid a hand on Edward's arm.

"Be safe," she whispered, looking up into Edward's eyes for confirmation that he heard her.

Edward nodded in silent reply. Satisfied for at least the time being, Alice left the tiny family to say their goodbyes in private.

Upstairs Alice flopped on her bed, unable to think of returning to the letter to the Whitlocks. It would have to wait for another time. Instead, Alice pressed her hand against her chest, hoping the ache would lessen by feeling the metal of Jasper's dog tag seal itself against her heart. The smooth ball chain hadn't left her neck in months. It was a small comfort for her to wear something that once had lain against his heart.

The roar of the Packard's engine coming to life awoke Alice from a fitful nap. She ran down the stairs and out onto the porch just in time to see Edward backing down the driveway. Alice wrapped her arms around her best friend from behind, encircling her round belly for comfort and support. Bella turned her head, and Alice's heart nearly broke again at the sad smile on Bella's face. The Packard switched gears and both women looked up and began to wave frantically as the car took their loved ones out of sight.

aa**AA**aa

The days Alice and Bella spent together while Edward was gone, were the easiest for the old friends. They talked over the breakfast table and took lunch on the sun porch. In the mornings they bustled about the house. It was really Alice did most of the work while, she reminded Bella to stay off her feet.

In the afternoons they'd work together on a costume for Serena. Though Bella was infinitely better at sewing than she ever was at pumpkin carving, Alice still managed to get in a good jab here and there. Bella took the teasing good naturedly for the most part but wasn't afraid to retaliate when Alice made a point of exaggerating the number of times Bella needed to rip out and re-sew a hem. She certainly didn't pull any punches when she asked Alice to recall the number of times she'd successfully skipped a rock on the banks of the Chesapeake. Alice scowled, while Bella smiled in return, effectively forcing Alice to shut her mouth. The answer to Bella's question was simply, none.

The nights were harder for the pair. The kitchen table seemed large and empty against the darkened windows. The days were shorter and the night crept into the windows by five each evening. Alice and Bella ate together in quiet company before finishing up the dishes and retiring to the family room to listen to a big band playing on the nightly radio program. Though the music was lively and entertaining, it was merely a distraction while both women waited for the sound of the telephone that announced Edward's nightly call.

Alice was even more anxious than normal this evening. She distractedly fiddled with the corners of a magazine, making no attempt to read it. Her mind was certainly miles away. Edward was expected to reach the Whitlock's farm this afternoon, and although part of her was eager to hear about the visit, another part begged to be spared the details.

The phone rang, and Alice looked up to catch the time on the mantle clock. It was late, later than Edward would normally call. Alice didn't want to dwell on whether this was a good or bad thing. Her fingers knotted nervously as Bella headed down the hall to answer the phone.

Unable to wait and unwilling to eavesdrop, Alice stood and paced a slow circle about the room. For the first time in a very long time, she longed for the feel of clay beneath her fingertips. The freedom to mold something of her own design was a draw she hadn't felt in months. Most attractive was the idea of having something to keep her hands active and her mind quiet.

Before she could stop and consider her actions, Alice had her arms through her coat and was streaming through the back door and down the porch steps. The moon was high in the night's sky, illuminating her hurried path through the Masen's backyard. Alice's single-minded focus was to reach Edward's garden in the far back corner of their plot.

A vision appeared in her mind of Edward toiling to turn over a small patch of earth for a garden. Alice remembered chuckling at the lunacy of his efforts. Edward ignored Alice, for the most part, and lifted shovel after shovel of red Indian clay from his garden patch, revealing precious little topsoil that would be needed to support a young plant. Alice sniggered at the unlikelihood of growing anything edible in soil like that. Before Edward took to cultivating it, the earthen clay was just about as fertile as sand.

Tonight as Alice made her brisk walk through the back yard, she smiled knowing that same earthen clay was about to become her own buried treasure.

The scraggly remains of the garden lifted in the distance like a tower of stairs. The pepper plants appeared first and closest to the ground, followed by the taller tomato cages made of chicken wire. Last but not least were the knotted ropes that served to support the cucumber plants. Though the plants had long ago given their final yield for the season, the remains still lingered, directing Alice to uncover the red, earthen solution to her troubled mind.

There, behind the remains of the cucumber vine, was a small mound of discarded earth. Though Alice once laughed at it, that mound was about to become something fashioned right out of her imagination. She felt her fingers twitch at her sides as she recognized the clay in the moonlight; the lure to create was strong. Finally, after months of allowing others to direct nearly every step she made, she'd have control over…_something_.

Alice dug her fingers into the earth, hefted a sizable hunk from the pile and hugged it to her chest disregarding the filth. She hoped the warmth of her body would make the material a little more pliable to work with. With a new sense of contentment, Alice returned to the porch. She laid the earth on the steps before taking off once more—this time in the direction of Edward's shed. Moments later she returned with a stack of old papers under her arm. One hand held a small bucket of water while the other carried an awl and a screwdriver that would serve as makeshift carving tools.

Setting everything down and nodding to herself that she had everything she needed to start, Alice set off on the first task, separating the clay from the soil. Alice worked happily despite the cold until she held a small mound of usable material in the palm of her hand. The moon served as the only light she had for her workspace as Alice hadn't had the presence of mind to turn the porch light on when she flew out the back door.

With the clay separated from the earth, Alice wet her fingers and began stretching and shaping her piece without a particular purpose or design in mind. As with other times, she wasn't worried. The piece would _talk _to her when it was ready, instructing her with form and shape as she worked. Alice was so engrossed in her distraction that she hardly noticed anything around her until Bella stepped through the back door flooding the porch with light from the house. Alice blinked against the harsh light but quickly returned to her furious work massaging something recognizable out of the lump before her.

Bella's brow wrinkled as she took in the sight of Alice before her. The cold wind had caused some of Alice's hair to fall from its pins, and her normally well put-together friend was covered in reddish brown mud. Everything from her fingertips to the hem of her dress to the front of her coat was a mess. Bella simply stared slack jawed at Alice's nearly frantic work with the brown material before easing her way down to the step to sit beside Alice.

"Alice, honey, what are you doing?"

Alice shrugged noncommittally. "I had an urge to sculpt."

"Okay," Bella drawled in concern. "Alice, it's dark and cold and no matter how talented you are, I doubt even you could make a silk purse out of that sow's ear. Come on, let's go inside."

Alice shook her head no.

"Not yet, I'm in the middle of making something."

"What is it exactly that you're trying to make?" Bella asked. She wasn't exaggerating when she said that Alice was talented, but despite her best efforts to see beyond the red clump of earth before her, she couldn't make heads or tails of Alice's creation.

"I'm making something for _him_. It's going to be a horse or an eagle, I think. I want it to be something that sets his spirit free."

"Alice," Bella called out as she stilled Alice's flying fingers. "You don't need to make anything. He's already free. He isn't hurt or sad or afraid…Alice, he's at peace."

Alice nodded and looked up to see Bella's concerned face.

"Do you want to know about the trip?" Bella asked.

"No, not right now."

"Okay. Come on, let's go get cleaned up and we can warm ourselves with some tea."

"Thank you." Alice sighed as she looked down at the mess she'd made of herself and the porch with her makeshift creation. "Thank you for understanding and for not making me feel like I'm crazy."

Bella shook her head, wondering why Alice would find it so hard to accept Bella's unconditional love. Ignoring the mud, she wrapped her arm around Alice's shoulder and led her back into the warm house. Though their lives had taken different paths, deep down they were still the little girls that laughed together, played together and kept each other's secrets. Bella squeezed Alice a little tighter and whispered, "I'm here for you, always."

aa**AA**aa

A few days passed and the caretaker roles switched again between the women. Alice did her best to ease the worry Bella felt as they counted down the days until Edward and Serena returned. Bella hadn't said much, but Alice could read her friend like a book; she desperately wanted Edward and Serena home.

Most concerning to Alice was the way simple motions seemed to make Bella wince. More than once Alice spied her pausing mid motion to catch her breath. Bella dismissed Alice's concerns saying that the baby was lying in an uncomfortable position, but Alice could read between the lines. The next morning Alice summoned Bella's physician to the house to have a look. Although nothing was of immediate concern, the doctor advised Bella to stay in bed just as a precaution.

The rest did not distract Bella from worrying over her husband and child. Bella grew restless, and it quickly became Alice's mission to find new ways to entertain her while keeping her sedentary.

Gin rummy led to black jack, which led to poker. Alice easily won all of their scrabble matches and neither gal was especially talented at Monopoly. They abandoned the board game when Alice headed down to the kitchen to prepare lunch. While slicing up the lunchmeat for sandwiches, Alice hatched her latest plan to keep Bella happily entertained.

When the dishes were clean and put away, Alice raced back up the steps to tell Bella about their next game. Bella practically rolled her eyes, thinking a good book might be preferable to whatever Alice had up her sleeve, but it was difficult to squelch the look of excitement on Alice's face. Unfortunately for Bella, this forced her to toss her plans for a quiet afternoon out the window. Alice looked too eager to share her idea and unable to disappoint her friend, Bella could do nothing but acquiesce.

"We're going to play charades!"

"What?"

"You heard me, we're playing charades."

"Alice, I can't get out of bed how am I supposed to pl—"

But Alice held up a hand to silence Bella.

"Quit your bellyaching, Swan. You'll just have to figure out something to do from the bed."

"Masen," Bella corrected petulantly.

"Fine, Masen. I'm going first."

Alice began by holding up two fingers, indicating her charade had two words. Bella nodded with a bit of unsuppressed eye roll. Alice ignored her but took it as a signal to get on with it. Alice then held up one finger.

"First word," Bella began.

Alice nodded and began by pointing to Bella.

"Me?"

Alice shook her head decidedly, then pointed her finger at her chest and shook her head no. Then she removed her finger from her chest and again pointed it at Bella only this time more sharply.

"You?"

Alice nodded and held up her hands, curling her fingers toward herself repeatedly indicating more.

"You? You've? You're?"

Alice's eyes went wide and she nodded while vigorously tapping her nose.

"Okay, the first word is, you're."

Alice held up two fingers.

"Second word."

Alice nodded and tapped her forearm with two fingers before lifting her hand with only two fingers showing.

"Two syllables. Second syllable."

Alice pinched something imaginary between her fingers and dragged it along the bedspread before flicking her hand up. She used her free hand to come close to the imaginary object and abruptly pulled it back as if she's been burned.

"Fire?" Bella asked, but Alice was already shaking her head no.

Alice repeated the same motion, but this time she held the imaginary flame to a pretend piece of paper in her other hand. The flame caught, and it burned until Alice mock dropped the paper as the flames neared her fingertips.

"Heat, hot, smolder, burn."

Again Alice was tapping her nose with excitement. She continued by tapping her arm and holding up one finger to indicate that they were on the first syllable now. She walked around the edge of the bed and pretended to purposefully kick the edge of the bedframe. Alice made awful faces pretending to howl in agony. She was hopping on one foot and kissing her big toe.

The light bulb dawned on Bella and she couldn't help but laugh as she called out the answer.

"You're stubborn? You think _I'm_ stubborn. Hello, pot, this is the kettle calling. Guess what? You're black!"

"All right, all right. That's probably true," Alice acknowledged. "Okay, your turn."

Bella pretended to ponder for a moment until inspiration struck and she waggled her eyebrows maniacally. Truth be told, she'd had this charade picked out since Alice announced this little game of hers.

Bella lifted four fingers indicating that her charade has four words. She mimicked Alice's earlier ministrations, pointing directly at Alice.

"Me?" Alice said innocently.

Bella shook her head no in mock disgust. She pointed to her chest and shook her head no, then pointed her finger right back at Alice.

"You? You're?"

Bella tapped her nose and trying hard to suppress a laugh. She ignored the rules of the game and curled both hands into fists and held them up about shoulder height. She moved her hands back and forth in parallel as if she were clutching her steering wheel.

Alice added the word driving, but Bella didn't stop to acknowledge her. Instead she quickly pointed to her own chest and then lifted a single finger to spin it in a circle beside her head. Her eyes were crossed making her look completely ridiculous in the process. By this point, Alice was practically rolling off the bed in laughter.

"You're driving me crazy? Was that it? Well, right back at you, Mrs. Masen."

Both girls were hysterical, but when Alice finally calmed her laughter, she saw Bella doubled over on her side, eyes closed and taking in shallow breaths.

"Bella?"

There was no answer only the sound of quick shallow breaths blown forcefully through her lips.

"Bella, answer me."

"I'll be—" she halted mid-sentence while her face contorted. "Just give me a minute," she blurted.

Alice was up off the bed in a flash, running down the stairs. With her keys in one hand and Bella's suitcase in the other, Alice flew out the door. The engine started under her frantic fingertips and the trunk slammed closed with Bella's suitcase stowed inside. Alice quickly penned a note for Edward on the off chance he returned before they did announcing that Alice had taken Bella to the hospital. Less than two minutes before this mess started, Alice was back upstairs placing shoes on Bella's feet and helping her up off the bed.

"It's too soon," Bella whimpered, pleading with Alice for the piercing pain in her abdomen would dissipate. "It can't come yet."

"I know, honey. That's why we're going to the hospital. I can't help you stop it here. That's what the doctors will do."

Alice, who was small in stature, somehow summoned the strength to get Bella and her bulging belly safely down the stairs and into the running car. The trip to the hospital took fifteen minutes, but as time passed Bella's pains didn't subside. Alice tried to be calm and soothing, but the longer the labor lasted, the more concerned she became.

The hospital was a flurry of activity as Alice dragged Bella through the hospital doors. Two orderlies were immediately summoned to lift Bella from Alice's failing hold around her middle. Bella was immediately placed in a wheelchair and taken back to labor and delivery. Alice's hands were shaking so badly that a custodian was asked to move her car out of the ambulance bay. All that was left for Alice to do now is wait, and pray.

aa**AA**aa

"He's perfect," Alice whispered over Bella's shoulder.

Bella's smile was small as she nodded and lifted the miniature hand that encircled her finger.

"He's so tiny, Alice."

Alice leaned closer watching the new little life take sustenance from his mother.

"If he continues to eat like that, he won't be tiny for long." Alice laughed.

Her attempt at a mild joke was successful as Bella's small smile grew into one of happiness and relief.

"You were amazing," Alice crowed. "When they came out and told me that you wanted me in the delivery room, I practically ran the nurse over to get to you. I had no idea how to help other than encourage you, but you didn't need it."

Bella smiled and leaned over to kiss Alice on the cheek.

"I needed you. Thank you for being here with me."

"Bella, I'm in awe. You're so strong."

"I don't know about strong, stubborn perhaps." Bella grinned, thinking of Alice's charade earlier that day.

"Stubborn is one given. Amazing is another."

The tiny newborn chose that moment to pull all the attention in the room back to him. He released his mother's breast with a wide yawn and a little milk drooling from the corner of his mouth. Both women giggled at the sight.

"Typical man," Alice teased. "Give him a full belly and he goes right to sleep."

Bella smiled and lightly kissed her sleeping son.

"We have a name picked out for him," she quietly announced.

"Yeah? I thought you were going to wait until after he was born. You know, to see who he looked like."

"I've known his name all along. It just took Edward a little while to agree." Bella took a deep breath before lifting a hand and placing it gently on top of Alice's. "We're going to name him after Edward's _brothers_, Riley and Jasper. He'll be called RJ for short."

The emotion of hearing the baby's name and the gift that Bella and Edward were offering was startling. Alice lifted her eyes to Bella's and saw hope shining from the inside out. She hoped that RJ's name wouldn't be too painful for Alice. She wanted it to be a tribute as well as a new beginning.

Alice wrapped her arms around Bella, thanking her with the actions that her emotions didn't allow her to voice.

_A new life. A new little person to love. _

Alice gently lifted RJ from his mother's arms and pressed a kiss against his soft cheek.

"You get some rest," Alice ordered with a shaky voice. Her vow to remain strong in front of Bella was fading. "I'll take him to the nursery while you sleep. He's going to be ready to eat again before you know it and you're exhausted. Amazing, but still exhausted."

Bella quickly acquiesced, resting her eyes as Alice tiptoed down the hall with her new nephew in her arms. Though RJ was about as conscious as a napping cat, it didn't stop Alice from telling him all about the man he was named after. She said a small prayer as she handed RJ off to the nurse at the end of the hall. She smiled fondly at the sleeping bundle, and hoped he'd grow to be just as sweet and kind, honorable and brave as the man for whom he was named.

aa**AA**aa

Bella's room was silent when Alice returned for her coat and purse. Nodding in satisfaction that for once in her life, Bella listened to her, Alice tiptoed out the door. She sighed when she took in the sight of the waiting room and its uncomfortable chairs. It would certainly make for a long night, but there was no conceivable way that Alice would leave Bella alone.

_ One sleepless night is not going to hurt me._

Alice searched her leather bag for her coin purse, wondering if she'd have enough change to make all the phone calls needed to announce RJ's birth. Edward's parents, Charlie, Rose, Emmett, and even her mother came to mind. The sparse contents of Alice's change purse confirmed that a few calls would have to wait until tomorrow. The larger problem was Bella's address book, which remained at the bottom of a kitchen drawer in the Masen's home. Alice furrowed her brow, wondering how difficult it would be to find a family with a common last name like Masen in a city as large as Brooklyn.

The sound of brisk footfalls from men's dress shoes echoed loudly in the hall, causing Alice to pause her pacing in front of the nurse's station. It took her a moment to match the sounds she was hearing to the piercing green eyes staring in her direction.

_Edward._

A brilliant smile lit Alice's face like a Christmas tree, and before she could stop herself, Alice was running full tilt in Edward's direction. Her tiny frame crashed into him with enough force to nearly topple Edward and bring the pair of them to the ground. Alice was beaming from ear to ear while Edward practically shook her to get a response from her other than the gigantic smile that currently graced her face.

"Alice, what happened? Where's Bella?"

Alice could feel the fear and worry emanate through Edward's entire frame. Even though Bella was fine now, Alice worried about telling him the whole story. In her nervousness, she rushed through her words to get to the good part.

"We were sitting on her bed this afternoon talking and playing charades," Alice began. "It was fun; we were joking and laughing hysterically, but suddenly Bella clutched her stomach and doubled over in pain. I asked her what was wrong, and she couldn't even answer me. When she finally caught her breath and looked up, I knew she was in trouble. I got her to the car and brought her right here. Bella kept saying that it was too soon, but the doctors said they couldn't stop the labor and that she needed to push- that it was time. "

Edward appeared on the verge of panic. Alice placed a hand on his chest and forced him to look into her eyes as she continued.

"She tried so hard, Edward. And it was hard. The nurses and I kept encouraging her, but she really didn't need motivation. She would have done it all on her own if she had to; she was so strong, so determined. She was just amazing. When it was finally over, they placed him on her chest and she began to cry. It was such a relief and a joy. I've never felt such a crushing happiness. It truly was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. It wasn't long before we were both crying like babies."

Edward hadn't said a word the whole time Alice was talking. He just stood there stoically. Alice wasn't sure if he was listening to her or if he'd gone into shock after she told him that the doctors couldn't stop Bella's labor.

"Edward," Alice called out, shaking his shoulders a bit. "Did you hear me? She's okay."

Edward nodded, but Alice wasn't sure if her words had really sunk in. She was about to call a nurse over to take a good look at him when Edward's eyes finally shifted into focus and an open mouth smile of surprise covered his entire face.

"You said _him_," Edward whispered. "It's a boy? I have a son?"

If possible, Alice's return smile grew even wider.

"Yes, Edward. You have a son."

A half second later, Alice was lifted off the floor and into Edward's arms. He was laughing and crying out at the top of his lungs while he spun Alice in a circle.

"I have a boy. She had a boy! We have a BOY!"

"Yes, Edward." Alice laughed. "Now put me down, you maniac, before the nurses kick us both out of here!"

Edward complied after one more spin, setting Alice back on her feet, but he couldn't begin to contain the joy and relief that surrounded him. One moment he was laughing at the amazing turn of events, and in the next his head began to whip from side to side in search of his wife. It was as if he expected Bella to suddenly appear from behind one of the closed doors in the hall like a sequin clad magician's assistant. Sensing Edward's need to find his wife, Alice laid a gentle hand against his chest and forced him to meet her eyes.

"She's been sleeping for about forty-five minutes. She's exhausted…happy, but exhausted. They brought him to her to nurse a couple of hours ago. I put my foot down when they went to clean him up and told her that she needed to get some rest."

"Alice, I could kiss you," Edward beamed, but Alice just waved off his gratitude. "Yeah, yeah, save all of that kissin' for your wife." She didn't need any thanks for taking care of her best friend. "Of course I was going to look out for her. I've done it for her for years, and I'd do it for you too." Alice winked. "We're partners in crime," she added with a devious grin spreading across her face.

Alice and Edward would always be bound by their desire to protect and love the woman currently sleeping in room 403.

Edward pulled Alice into another hug and gently kissed the top of her head. Without letting her go, he whispered softly into her hair.

"You know his name?"

Alice stiffened. She didn't say a word. She only nodded into Edward's chest in reply. She couldn't speak or do more than return Edward's hug as a way of thanking him for his gift to her. Alice hung on, clutching Edward, taking in the strength he freely offered. Finally, Alice released him and stepped back while drawing a deep breath to steady herself.

"Thank you," she whispered without lifting her head to meet Edward's eyes. Though she was deeply grateful for his gift, she felt her emotions leaking through the cracks in her self-made wall surrounding her heart. She knew it wouldn't take much for the dam to break. Right now it was taking everything she had to keep her emotions in check.

Edward rubbed a hand lightly along her back. The gentle comfort widened the cracks in her resolve until her shoulders began to shake against his hold. Try as she might, her soft cries were quickly ruining any hope Alice had of getting home in one piece. Edward started to say something, but Alice quickly cut him off.

"Go," she ordered. "Go find your wife. Tell her you love her."

"Alice—" Edward tried again, but again Alice put a hand to his chest to stop him.

"I'm going back to your house to find my goddaughter. I've missed her drooly kisses."

Alice felt Edward's grip tighten as she tried to pull away.

"Alice," Edward whispered. "You know you were his best girl, right?" The sincerity of Edward's words truly broke her. She had to get away, to deal with the emotions of the day in private. Refusing to let her go, Edward lifted Alice's chin with a gentle finger. His beautiful green eyes bore into hers, forcing her to listen while her mind tried to escape. Tears trailed down her cheeks like rain, relaying every emotion she was trying so desperately to hold inside.

"He didn't have to be here with you for him to love you like that," Edward added. Alice tried to turn and look away, but Edward held her firm. "His ma wanted to be sure that you knew that. She has letters from him, too, and she told me that they left no doubt in her mind what you meant to him."

Alice shook her head. "I can't do this right now. I'm not ready. I have to go, Edward."

Alice broke away and moved to turn and make her escape down the hallway. Edward thrust out a hand and quickly grabbed her by the wrist to catch her before she could run off.

"I know, but when you are ready, we'll be here. You aren't alone."

"I know I'm not, Edward. And for now, that'll have to be enough. Please, let me go," she pleaded. "I'll be okay. I just need time. Stay the night with Bella," she said, pointing toward Bella's room. "I'll go look after Sammy; her innocent smile is what I need right now."

Alice lifted herself up on her toes and placed a light kiss against Edward's cheek. "Congratulations," she whispered as she dashed away.

Alice sighed in relief as the elevator doors began to close, leaving Edward and Bella behind to enjoy their newborn son. Just as the last slivers of light between the doors began to fade, they screeched to a halt. Alice's eyes bulged, watching Edward squeezed his large frame through the narrowing crack.

_Holy Moses._

Alice wasn't sure if she should punch him or yell at him over his little stunt. For his part, Edward looked a little stunned that he actually made it through the doors unscathed. When he finally found his voice, Edward turned to find Alice standing with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I know you want to be alone, Alice, but I'm at least going to make sure you get to your car safely."

"I'm not getting rid of you, am I?" Alice half joked, half cried. Her laugh caused her to sputter and with a very undignified flip of her wrist, she wiped the remnants of her nose on her sleeve. "You're driving me batty, Edward," Alice half laughed half complained as the elevator began its descent. "If I knew you'd be this tough to get rid of, I wouldn't have let Bella go off to war in the first place."

"You wouldn't give me up in a million years. You're stuck with me," Edward joked as the pair walked through the hospital and out to Alice's car. When she finally settled herself behind the wheel, Edward leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "I meant what I said, Alice, you're not alone. Come move up here with us. The drive is too long, and I know Bella and Serena would both be happier if you lived close by."

Alice gripped the steering wheel tightly and tried to get a hold of the emotions raging inside her. More and more often Alice had been plied with requests to move north, steadfastly refusing them all.

"Edward, don't push," Alice snapped. Anger turned to shame as Edward's innocent concern quickly doused Alice's rage. Edward was only trying to help. Alice closed her eyes to collect herself and apologize. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know you mean well, but I'll know when I'm ready…It's nice to be wanted all the same," she added sincerely.

"We love you, Alice."

The ignition turned over with a quick snap of Alice's wrist, and though the roar of the engine muffled Edward's final words, it did little to quiet the jumbled thoughts raging in her mind. She backed the car out of its spot and carefully made her way down the street. She replayed Edward's words over and over and got as far as the first scraggily farm outside of town before the tears were falling too hard for her to see properly. The sedan's tires crunched the gravel on the edge of the road as she came to a stop. Alice laid her head against the steering wheel and allowed her emotions to take over.

_You know you were his best girl, right? _

It was too much. Between Bella's delivery, RJ's name, and Edward's confirmation, Alice put her head in her hands and gave in.

_How can I move on when everything reminds me of you?_

After allowing her emotions to have their way, Alice finally lifted her head. She looked up at the clear night's sky and easily found the evening stars to guide her way. She got out of her car and strained to make out the constellation in the sky.

"Perseus," she whispered, seeing its familiar shape.

_Had nearly a year passed already?_

She wanted to give in and fade into the shell of a woman she felt she'd become. It would be so easy to do just that.

_That's the easy way out. The harder way is finding the strength to move on. _

Fresh tears stung Alice's eyes as the words from one of Jasper's letters came back to her.

_Come on, ol' girl, you have the backbone to stand up…_

Sparked by some reserve of fire she didn't even know she possessed, Alice stood from her perched position on the hood of the car. She dutifully made her way around to the door and settled herself behind the wheel. Before she even knew what she was doing, Alice found herself back on the road heading in the direction of the Masen's home.

_You're still goading me, even in my dreams. _ She smirked. _Well, I need it and it's working…so please don't stop._

aa**AA**aa

Alice leaned over and stroked Serena's curls. She was finally settled in a dry diaper and clean warm pajamas. Alice had picked up the sleeping toddler up from Edward and Bella's neighbors, the Carlozzis. Alice knew she should let Serena sleep. The content little one was obviously happy to be back in her own bed, but Alice couldn't help herself.

"I missed you," she whispered as she gave into temptation and lifted her from her bed.

A few steps away from the crib sat an old rocking chair. Alice pulled Serena close and gently rocked them both. She traced the curve of Serena's cheek and watched as she suckled her thumb for comfort.

"Your little brother is here," Alice whispered. He's a little early but he's perfect. You're going to love him."

_Mostly,_ Alice mused with a sly grin. She still remembered her jealousy when Cindy was brought home from the hospital.

"Don't you worry, I'll make sure you don't feel left out."

Alice thought of the work it took her to get Serena changed, fed and into bed for the night. Her very next thought was of Bella trying to manage all of that with a newborn and the limp she still carried from her burns.

"Your mama's going to have her hands full," Alice acknowledged.

It would certainly be a lot easier on Bella if she moved north, and for the first time Alice was giving it serious thought. She didn't want to leave her home or her family, and even though she wasn't teaching at the moment, she didn't want to abandon her students either. For every argument Alice had was to go, there was an equally strong argument to stay. She loved her home and the memories it held. She hated the pity she felt from church ladies and well intentioned neighbors alike.

_Maybe a fresh start is what I need to feel whole. _

As was often the case, Jasper's words provided the nudge she needed to make a decision.

_You didn't have to follow Bella across the ocean and into the dangers of war to find your calling in life. You've made one all on your own._

Alice made her decision as she rocked Serena in her arms. The final few words of Jasper's letter hung in her mind. It was bitter sweet. She could do it, just like he'd said.

"I'm not moving on the way I'd planned, but I'm going to start again."

_All on my own._

* * *

_A/N: __Special thanks to my betas this week for their help on this chapter and the next one. I had a file error, lost all my work (15K) and had to re-write them from scratch. : (_

___Also, my beta and I went back and forth about some things with this chapter. First, it's not likely that Alice would have been allowed in the delivery room with Bella back in the 40's and even less likely that she'd have a private room for her recovery. I kept these two traits even thought they aren't historically accurate because they matched the first story (The Last Breath). I wanted to let you guys to know I took creative license here in doing so._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing,_

_-FirstBlush_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 30 Beyond Mourning

**Story reference: **Alice goes out in search of red Indian clay to keep her fingers occupied while waiting for Bella to talk with Edward

**Historical Significance: **Red clay sub soil can be rock hard when dry or mucky when wet. The small clay particles hold water and nutrients well, making plant growth easier than expected. Adding lots of organic matter, it can manageable and good for gardening.

**Source: **http:/backporch(dot)org/pages/guilford-gardening/that-red-clay-soil(dot)php

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice and Bella play charades to pass the time while she's on bedrest

**Historical Significance: **Charades is a game of pantomimes: you have to "act out" a phrase without speaking, while the other members of your team try to guess what the phrase is.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)cs(dot)umd(dot)edu/~nau/misc/charades(dot)html

(common rules)


	31. Chapter 31 Awakening

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_thepinktabby showed me some wonderful color WWII photos. If you're interested the link is http:/www(dot)theatlantic(dot)com/infocus/2011/08/world-war-ii-the-american-home-front-in-color/100122/_

* * *

**Awakening**

The clap of dress shoes echoed off the walls as two men moved briskly down a busy hallway. Neither spoke as both were intent on their course of action. The next few moments would prove to be the answer to a prayer or the crushing reality of disappointment. The first man paused in front of the third door to the unit, allowing the man behind him to step inside. A heavy tension fell over both men, and though for different reasons, each had a silent prayer upon their lips.

Master Sergeant Gray nearly swallowed his tongue as his eyes fell upon the man lying in the first bed. The room was blank save for the row of beds and sterile linens that lined both sides of the room. Men occupied each bed in various stages of convalescence, but Gray's eyes never made it further than the first bed. He stood there in utter shock. He'd been both hopeful and realistic when he'd made the trip from London, but upon seeing the evidence before him his knees buckled. It took him nearly a full minute to reconcile the sight of the frail, gaunt man lying before him with the young, vibrant one who'd been under his command only four months ago. The gray pallor of the unconscious soldier's skin made him appear ashen. He was closer to the color of a piece of newsprint than the pink flesh of a healthy soldier. Whitlock was a visible shell of the man Gray had once commanded, but by God he was alive.

"Do you know this man, Master Sergeant?" the physician asked.

"Yes, it's definitely Whitlock."

The physician let out a deep sigh of undisguised relief.

"I'm sorry it took so long to contact you, Master Sergeant," the physician began. "He'd had three different dog tags around his neck when he arrived and we didn't know which, if any of them, were his real identity. The unit that tended to him in the field wasn't able to obtain his name before he passed out."

"Can I see the tags?" Gray requested.

The doctor pulled three dog tags from his white coat and placed them in Gray's hand. As Gray had expected, the tags were the matching set to the ones that Captain Afton had found in the German POW camp.

TANNER BLACK WHITLOCK

"I'm sorry we weren't able to find you sooner. We checked the tags and all three men were reported killed in action," the doctor continued while Gray absently traced the letters with his fingertip. "We found photo records for each name and quickly ruled out Airman Black, but there was a close resemblance between Whitlock and Tanner. War can do a lot to change a man," he added grimly. "So we couldn't be sure without finding someone to identify him. We looked for Tanner's C/O and found he was reported killed as well. We then set out to find Whitlock's C/O. That brought us to the 7th Hussars and then ultimately to you in London. It's been a long process, and you were kind of our last hope," he mused as he rubbed a tired but relieved hand over his face.

"He was in really bad shape when they brought him here. He'd lost a lot of blood from a knife wound near his shoulder and had an infection raging through his system. Because of the location of the wound we didn't have the option to amputate. We pushed as much penicillin into him as possible and just had to wait it out."

"Is the infection gone?" Gray asked, speaking for the first time in several long minutes. The doctor's words were a lot to take in, and coupled with the sight of the resurrected man before him, Gray was struggling to keep the chain of events straight in his mind.

"His fever broke a few days ago, so yes, we believe he's past the worst of it."

"Why isn't he awake?" Gray asked, snapping into focus.

"He's been in and out of consciousness but simply put, Master Sergeant, his body isn't ready yet."

Gray didn't like this answer. It gave him no specific timeline for finding Whitlock awake and sentient, so he moved onto something that would at least offer him a plan of action.

"When can he be transferred?"

The doctor's frown was his reply to Gray's question. "I'd prefer to wait until he's fully conscious, but as long as there's no fever or sign of infection, I'll release him for transport."

Gray nodded while the doctor moved away from Whitlock's bed and back toward the doorway.

"Talk to him. He might wake if he hears a familiar voice," he instructed with a hopeful shrug. "I'm going to go finish my rounds. If you need me, just ask one of the nurses; they'll know where to find me."

With the physician's departure the space surrounding Whitlock's bed again fell into silence. Gray sat in the solitary chair beside Jasper and shook his head.

_The prodigal son has returned from the grave,_ he mused.

If the doctor was looking for someone to whisper gentle words to Whitlock and call him back from slumber, he had the wrong man. Gray earned his stripes as a hard ass and wasn't used to a gentler sort of persuasion. His voice commanded action and respect; that was how he got things done. He was a born leader, but beneath the exterior posture of authority and determination, was a man who was grateful to be sending at least one more of his boys home alive.

"Wake up, Whitlock," he ordered. "Don't make me send you home like this."

If Whitlock recognized Gray's voice his outward appearance didn't show it. Gray sighed and stood determinedly. If his voice didn't stir Whitlock, he'd find someone who would.

jj**JJ**jj

Sounds echoed like a swarm of angry bees inside Jasper's head, attacking and stinging as he neared the surface of his perpetual slumber. Each time Jasper felt those stabbing pains, he withdrew further into the recesses of his mind until the abyss covered him in relief.

Consciousness came in fits, pulling and pushing between the twin desires of pain-free repose and conscious control over his body. But as time passed, little by little Jasper inched back toward the surface of his mind. Sound became more bearable, but with it came the forced the recognition of pain in other areas of his body. The right side of Jasper's chest felt like it was on fire, and he fervently prayed for someone to come and put him out.

Consciousness. If Jasper had to explain the sensation, he'd liken it to being a fishing bobber drifting along the surface of the water. One moment a heavenly fisherman would cast out a line, dipping him below the surface of awareness and begin to reel his psyche slowly back toward the surface. The next it would seem as if he were being sucked back under. As if a large catfish had snagged the bait and dragged him back down into the dark covered depths until he succumbed to the nothingness. Yet each time he succumbed, he took solace in the fact that he somehow knew he wasn't alone. He could feel the ethereal fisherman still pulling on the line. The fisherman wouldn't allow the darkness to win. He'd keep pulling until Jasper finally broke the surface.

Time passed, though Jasper had no idea how to begin to count it. He could tell because noise no longer carried with it the painful rush of angry bees. Though the pain was still there, it had dulled considerably. Now, sound was more than just a cacophony of noise and sensation. He could distinguish the screech of a cart's wheels against the floor from the stiff sheets that surrounded him from a cold metal object that moved along his chest.

The heavenly fisherman seemed to be having a particularly good day on the lake, casting long and dragging Jasper's unconscious mind slowly back toward the surface. The water cleared as the line pulled him methodically upward. Jasper could almost see the sunlight filtering through the water. It seemed so close he could practically reach out and touch it. What had once felt like miles of distance to the surface, was now feet, then finally inches as Jasper lengthened his neck to break the surface and take his first full lungful of air.

"My God, the lucky bastard's really alive."

Surface…Air…_Seth_.

Jasper would know that voice anywhere, but felt helplessly trapped in the failings of his body. His eyes felt as if they'd been glued shut. Opening them was like trying to pry off wallpaper with only his eyelids. His mouth was sticky and pasty. Jasper smacked his jowls in search of something to relieve his parched throat. Mercifully his head was lifted from the bed and he felt a cup being pressed to the edge of his bottom lip. Ice cold water invaded his mouth, bringing with it a near euphoric feeling of relief. He gulped it greedily until an unfamiliar voice asked him to slow down.

Finally Jasper pried his eyes open to see his friend beaming down upon him.

"Well, I can see my work here is done. The lazy arse is now awake. I'll just bet he was faking his coma, lollygagging around so that everyone else would have to do the hard work. Get your arse out of bed, Jasper, you've done enough lying about to account for ten men."

"I get him first," Gray's voice called from the far end of the room. He had a wide smile on his face. The sight nearly frightened Jasper, who couldn't recall when the man had ever done anything more than grimace.

Master Sergeant Gray seemed almost giddy. That was until he's was trumped by a man in a white coat, presumably Jasper's physician.

"Actually, I get him first," the man directed.

Resigned but happy, Seth stood from the seat beside Jasper's bed and laid a gentle hand on Jasper's forearm.

"It's good to see you, old chap."

He slid his hand down Jasper's forearm leaving behind a trail of warmth. It was the first pleasant sensation Jasper had felt in a very long time. Seth paused at Jasper's fingertips and deposited a small leather pouch in Jasper's good hand. His fingers curled around the bag, and his eyes grew wide in wonder at the sensation of feeling anything at all.

"They're rosary beads," Seth answered nodding at the pouch. "My mother asked me to bring them; she thought they might help," Seth added to answer the question he saw in Jasper's eyes.

Truth be told, Jasper's amazement was more over the first conscious movement he'd made on his own rather than the small item that was resting in the palm of his hand.

Seth leaned forward to get a little closer to Jasper's ear.

"Mother may have wanted me to bring the rosaries, but Nanny suggested the old alarm clock I'd once hidden in her wardrobe. The old ninny is a bit more practical like that."

Both men chuckled lightly until a coughing fit had Jasper doubled over in pain. Once the doctor got him settled, Seth squeezed his left hand and promised to be back and visit soon.

"It's not every day Lazarus decides to wake up," Jasper heard him mumble rather teasingly on his way out.

Jasper was left to his physician and the master sergeant, who seemed to wait impatiently in the corner of the hospital ward. Jasper tried hard to listen to his doctor when he was asked to take deep breaths or squeeze his hand, but mostly he watched Gray's anxious gaze from the far end of the room. The reality of his physical ailments floored him. He'd been stabbed, lost quite a lot of blood and nearly died from an infection. Though the doctor pronounced that his vitals were good for a man in his condition, the only thing Jasper really registered was that his right arm was absolutely for shit. Aside from squeezing the doctor's fingers upon command, he couldn't curl his bicep or raise his arm.

The doctor, upon seeing the fear in Jasper's eyes, told him the condition would not likely be permanent but was the result of the injury and months of disuse.

"Months?" Jasper croaked. "Exactly how long have I been here?"

"Not that long at all, private, but your C/O has asked that he be the one to explain."

Gray stepped forward, more than ready to start. He'd been waiting for Whitlock to open his eyes for seven long days. The doctor stepped away from Jasper's bedside and made his way towards Gray. He had something of a satisfied grin on his face.

"He's doing remarkably well. Frankly, I'm astonished at how aware he is given the state of unconsciousness he's been in for the last five weeks. He's fit enough to be questioned but go easy on him. Let him take breaks if he's tired or confused. There may be memory loss, but come get me if he becomes disoriented or if he seems like he's going to panic. I don't want to him to get to that point. He shouldn't get himself worked up in this stage of his recovery."

Gray nodded that he understood the doctor's words but would do what he thought was right to balance Whitlock's health against the answers he needed.

Jasper watched the exchange from his bed but didn't feel as though he had all of his marbles rolling around in the right direction. He recognized Seth and Master Sergeant Gray easily enough, but the facts surrounding his need to be hospitalized were foggy at best.

Gray took the empty chair beside Jasper's bed and rubbed his hand contemplatively across his five o'clock shadow.

"How are you feeling, Whitlock?" he began.

"I'll manage, sir."

It was the truth. Jasper would manage, but he was more than a little unsure he could give the master sergeant everything he was asking for.

"Good, good," Gray answered, oblivious to Jasper's internal worries. "We're going to start with the things you remember and I'll fill in the parts I know, all right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you remember where you were last assigned?"

"Under you in London, sir."

Gray remained impassive, but Jasper furrowed his brow, recognizing that that statement wasn't entirely accurate. Images began flashing through his mind.

…_marching in heavy rain_

…_holding position in the hot sun_

…_writing to Alice by the edge of the Elbe_

…_blood_

Tanner.

Gray could see Jasper trying to process things as his eyes blinked rapidly against the onslaught of memories.

"We were on our way to Berlin."

"That's right," Gray answered as he moved to the edge of his seat beside Jasper's bed. "You were deployed with the 7th Royal Hussars."

"We were halted outside of a town called Magdeburg. We were marching along until the line just stopped," Jasper rasped. "We had to hold our position for nearly an hour. It was the first sunny day after days of rain and the air was as thick as soup. Sweat poured down my back. I remember holding the slick metal of my rifle until my fingers cramped. I was so worried I would drop the thing."

Jasper paused to catch his breath and settle the flash of memories that invaded his mind.

"We were out in the open and could easily be attacked by returning German soldiers or civilians seeking revenge for our victory. Finally word came down to set camp. Later we found out that we were being detained by the Red Army and that the Russians now controlled the city as part of their occupied zone. We were being delayed until they granted permission for us to pass."

"That's right, Whitlock. That was the last day anyone saw you alive. Do you remember what happened next, how you became separated from your unit?"

"There was a soldier…he joked with me, tried to help me fit in a bit. He got us leave to go to the edge of the Elbe to wash out our socks and get the mud out of our weapons." Jasper's eyebrows pinched as he tried to remember more. "After three days of marching through the mud, we were filthy and the leaders let us go under the guise of warding off trench rot. I'm sorry I can't remember the Hussar's name."

"Captain Afton," Gray supplied.

Jasper looked up from his bed to meet his C/O's eyes.

"That's right, sir. How did you know?"

"I'll get to that. What happened next?"

Again images ran like a movie reel, bouncing in jagged movements from one scene to the next until Jasper had shut his eyes.

"Whitlock?"

"I remember, sir." Jasper answered, drawing a shaky breath. Gray offered him another glass of water. Jasper greedily gulped it down and tried desperately to compose himself. "I was writing to my girl a ways away from the guys roughhousing in the water. Afton said he had to go back. We talked for a minute and then I went back to my letter. When I looked up they were gone."

"Gone? They left you?" Gray asked suspiciously.

"I could hear them in the distance, but I knew I'd need to hustle double time to catch up to them. I was tucked far back underneath the tree limbs so I could have some privacy, but it was stupid in hindsight."

Gray agreed but didn't want to interrupt Whitlock's train of thought to voice his opinion.

"I threw on my pack and slung my rifle over my shoulder. I was about to take off when I heard a voice, an _American_ voice, call out for help. I whistled for the Hussars to get their attention, but they were too far ahead, they couldn't hear me. The voice cried out again. It was desperate, so I took off to find him."

"Geez, Whitlock, you left your unit and walked right into a trap!"

"It wasn't a trap, sir. At least not right away. I was pounding through the forest calling out to find him when I heard a short burst of rifle fire. Ten seconds later I was overtop the GI pressing on his wounds trying to get the bleeding to stop." Jasper closed his eyes as the memory washed over him. "I tried, sir. I swear, but there was just so much blood. He died right beneath my hands."

Gray dug his fingernails into the palms upon learning of another American death. The war had already been over for more than a goddamned month! He wanted to scream at the injustice but tried to remain impassive. He knew he needed to stay calm to get more information out of Whitlock.

"It's pretty obvious you did everything you could. Did you know the soldier's name?"

"Tanner," Jasper whispered. "Bobby Tanner." He was an airman from the 9th Pathfinder's squadron."

The confirmation of Jasper's words eased some of the tension in the room. Gray was relieved to hear that so far Jasper's story matched that of Captain Afton's.

"I was reeling from Tanner's death and not aware of what was going on around me. That's how Vladimir got the jump on me."

"Vladimir?"

"Yes, sir. Tanner was an escaped POW, and the Russians sent two soldiers to track him down and retrieve him."

"That doesn't make any sense, Whitlock. Why would the Russians be after him? Do you mean the Germans?"

Gray felt caught between his belief that the Russians were somehow involved and the concern that Whitlock was more disoriented than he first thought.

"No, sir, not Germans, Russians. The Pathfinders' planes had been downed shortly before the end of the war, and they were brought to this POW camp just outside the city. The Russians liberated the camp after VE day but didn't set all of the prisoners free. They were under orders to keep the Americans. The man I tried to save, Tanner, finally escaped, but two Russian soldiers had been sent to find him before he could let anyone know about the camp. When they found me kneeling over Tanner's body, they gladly took me in his place. One American was just as good as another for their purposes."

"And exactly what purpose was that, Whitlock?"

"We were bargaining chips. The morning I was captured, the Hussars were talking about liberating POW camps. They said that unlike the Americans and Brits they'd liberated on their way to Berlin, the Russians didn't want to go back. A number of them wanted to defect. They said they'd be shot as traitors if they were returned to the Red Army."

"For being captured and held prisoner?" Gray questioned. He'd heard stories similar to what Whitlock was telling him but didn't want to believe they were true.

"Yes. And after my experience, I believe them."

"So they took you instead. What happened when you reached the camp?"

"I was interrogated, striped naked and beaten. The sadistic son of a bitch who led the camp was a _Kapitan _named Stephan. He shot his own nephew in the head for allowing Tanner to escape that morning. Then he had his men build a fire and throw the soldier's body on top of it. When I wouldn't talk, they burned everything I owned in front of me. I knew what was coming next. I didn't want to die, but I was prepared for it."

Jasper swallowed hard, and Gray hid his face in his hands.

"Sweet Jesus."

He didn't know if he'd have the strength to do what Jasper had done. Jasper continued in a monotone voice as if he hadn't heard Gray's utterance and was reliving the scene in the back of his mind.

"There was an American there, summoned by Stephan, named Lt. Colonel Uley. He was the commander over the POWs. He had a captain and a young lieutenant with him. I think they were expecting to see Tanner and didn't know what to make of me. It turned out that I was the first man they'd seen from the outside in nearly eight weeks. Col. Uley's face betrayed nothing. I didn't know what to make of him. Later I found out that he hoped I could lead them to friendlies who could help them escape."

Jasper's voice drifted off. His next statement was barely above the sound of a whispered memory.

"Once Stephan found out my mission, I feared he'd go after the Hussars, that they would be their next target."

Pulled up short by Whitlock's statement, Gray shot up off the chair and began to pace the room.

"Exactly how did this Stephan find out about your mission, Whitlock?"

"I told him, sir."

Gray clamped his jaw shut, barely able to keep a lid on his temper. He sympathized with Whitlock for the hell he'd obviously been through, but that wouldn't prevent him from sending him up for court-martial if necessary.

"Stephan could see that his threats weren't getting him anywhere," Jasper began. "So he pulled his pistol and put it to the lieutenant's temple. Col. Uley pinned me to the table and wrapped his free hand around my head. One quick snap to the left and I'd be dead. I'd either confess my mission or no one would benefit from it. Not Stephan but not the Pathfinders either. Col. Uley said he wasn't about to sacrifice his lieutenant just because I'd resigned my own fate." Jasper's head fell in shame. "Stephan was about to put a bullet into the lieutenant, and Col. Uley ordered me as my senior ranking officer to tell Stephan my mission. God help me, sir, but I did. I told Stephan that I was with the 7th Royal Hussars and that we'd been tasked with liberating POW camps on our way to Berlin."

"Uley is a fucking traitor."

"No sir," Jasper defended. "He tried to save the lives of all the men under him and give them a chance to escape. If I died, so did the information about the Hussars. They wouldn't have had a chance to find them. Yes, Stephan had the information, but Col. Uley had a plan. He tried to preempt Stephan by sending us out the escape tunnel before the Russians could use the intelligence."

"What?"

Gray struggled to make sense of Jasper's words. The Pathfinders were all dead. Their remains had been found with their dog tags in the abandoned POW camp. There were suspicions that the Russians were involved, but they had no proof. So far Whitlock wasn't making much sense, and his hopes of Whitlock proving Russian involvement in the POW's murders began to fade.

"Col. Uley believed he could get me back to the Hussars before Stephan could use the intel against him. He sent me and another soldier back through the escape tunnel after a few hours of rest. I was in rough shape, but I was the only one who knew the way. The man who went with me was ill, but still in better shape than most of the Pathfinders. We were their best hope."

Jasper's voice cracked at the end. Gray noticed the tremor in his voice and saw anguish in Whitlock's eyes. Gray pulled the dog tags that had been found around Jasper's neck from his pocket and held them in out toward Jasper.

"The matching set to these tags were found with the Pathfinders' remains at Stalag IA. It was suspicious that none of those three had matching tags, but it didn't make sense until you were rescued. This is yours," he said, pointing to Jasper's dog tag. "And you've explained about Tanner. Who is J Black?"

"Airman Jacob Black, sir. He was the soldier Col. Uley sent through the tunnel with me. He's the bravest man I've ever met. He sacrificed himself to give me a second chance to find the Hussars. Col. Uley had us split up the tags to give us proof of missing POWs when we reached the Hussars. The shit thing was that when we got to the camp, they were already gone. We'd missed them."

"Captain Afton said that they'd been granted passage through Magdeburg in the middle of the night," Gray replied to help fill in Jasper's gap. "They packed up camp and hustled out. They didn't break for camp until they were well clear of the city the following morning."

"Stephan must have gotten word to his superiors about the Hussars."

Gray shrugged. "It's coincidental, but we can't know for sure. What happened next?"

"Jacob said we needed to split up. He was sure that Stephan would send men after us, and he thought I'd have a better shot at making it than he would. He said he'd act as a diversion, drawing off the Russians. We both knew it was a suicide mission. If you have his set of our tags…then he didn't make it."

Gray gave Jasper a few minutes to compose himself. The story of Black's recapture obviously hit him hard. After a few more hours and some breaks for Jasper to eat and rest, the master sergeant had the full story. Unfortunately he didn't have the proof he so desperately wanted either.

"So when are we going after them?" Jasper asked.

"Them who?" Gray asked still absorbing the weight of Whitlock's tale of escape.

"Stephan…the Russians who ordered the capture of our men…Stalin, take your pick."

"Whitlock," Gray answered in an exhausted voice. "We don't have any proof."

"With all due respect, sir, what are you talking about? I've told you everything I know. Everything."

"Whitlock," Gray began but he stopped thinking of another way to explain the situation. He started again by asking Jasper a question. "Would you say that this Stephan was in control?"

It didn't take Jasper a second to think about his answer. He knew exactly what kind of control Stephan demanded.

"He ruled the camp with an iron fist. He had a sick and sadistic way of getting what he wanted. His men appeared to fear him more than respect him. Truthfully, they seemed to fear him almost as much as the POWs did."

"Did you ever see any other Russian leaders at the camp besides Stephan?"

"No, sir."

"Did Col. Uley or any of his men mention any other leaders? How did they know that Stephan's orders to hold the Americans was an actual order? You said yourself he was sick and sadistic. How do you know he wasn't mad…acting on his own without the direction of his leadership?"

Jasper sat up too fast. It made him nearly vomit, but the bile in his throat was only partially caused by his physical condition. He was truly green over the idea that his C/O didn't believe a word he'd said.

"He had orders! You have to believe me!"

"It's not about what I believe, Whitlock, it's about what I can fucking prove! What would you have me do? Run off and tell our leadership to go invade the Russian zone, our allies, after fighting at their side to defeat the Nazis? You want to start up again after four years of war? No one would do that with the proof I have to offer."

"Where's Demetri? Ask him! He'll tell you about their orders. He'll tell you everything."

"That's your proof? A Russian defector who shot his own comrade to escape the Red Army?"

"You're twisting my words!"

"No, Whitlock, I'm trying to get you to see the reality of the situation. We don't have enough proof. I'll document everything you've told me, but if you think we're going to invade the Russian occupied zone based on this, you're either naive or a fool. Even if I could get this Demetri to confirm they'd been given official orders, who would believe him? Tell me? He'd say anything to be granted entrance into the United States."

"Wait, you haven't talked to Demetri? Where is he?"

Jasper started to sit up again. He looked around as if Demetri was hiding somewhere in the ward. Gray put a firm hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

"No, Whitlock, I got you back to London. You were my priority. The physicians of the Evac Unit at the 45th were treating the Russian. I should get a copy of his interrogation in—"

"Sir!" Jasper interrupted. "You have to help him. They can't send him back! We can't let that happen! They'll kill him or worse send him to the gulags. We have to help him!"

"Whitlock, I have no authority over the 45th. The disposition of the Russian is the commander's call."

"Sir, he saved my life, many times over. Is it too much to ask to spare his life in return?"

The absolute desperation in Jasper's voice, coupled with the story he told, left no doubt in Gray's mind that Jasper wouldn't have survived without the Russian defector.

"I'll make a call, Whitlock, but I have to warn you, it might be too late."

"What? Why?"

"He's already been questioned. I should get the briefing in a few days. If the commander didn't see a need to keep him for more questioning, or if he didn't have reason to believe that his information was valuable to the United States, then the commander would have been instructed to turn him back over to the Russian Army."

"Sir, you have to do whatever you can for him. I promise him that if he helped me escape, I'd help him defect. He has a sister he's trying to find. They're supposed to meet in New York."

"Whitlock, I won't make you any promises, but I'll call the 45th and find out what happened. Maybe if he's still there and his story matches yours we can do something."

Jasper nodded, but this would not be the end. He began making contingency plans. He'd go over the master sergeant's head to Col. Swan or higher if he had to.

Gray stood and patted Jasper's good shoulder bringing Jasper back from his thoughts.

"We'll have your Army discharge papers sometime tomorrow. I'll have an answer for you about this Demetri before you go, but we're going to get you home by Thanksgiving."

Jasper's mouth went dry and his eyes widened in shock. The mention of Thanksgiving reminded him of his promise to Alice to be home by Thanksgiving. The master sergeant's words, gave him a bit of hope that he might still be able to keep that promise. A small breath of relief blew over Jasper's lips. He thought of writing to her to tell her he was coming home, but his relief quickly morphed into panic as he realized that neither his folks nor Alice had heard from him since late June.

_Dear God, they must be frantic_.

"You'll sail into New York, but we'll get you to Texas before the holiday, Whitlock. That's a promise."

Jasper reached up to grab his master sergeant's wrist before he could leave. Despite the months of being incapacitated, his grip was firm. He looked up at his C/O with one more request burning on his lips.

"Not Texas, sir…_Maryland_."

* * *

**A/N: **Teasers for the next chapter will be out on adifferentforest & Edwardville on Monday and Tuesday of next week. ; )

I have lots of questions for you about this chapter. What did you think about Gray taking Jasper to London without interrogating Demetri himself? What about the conversation with Jasper? Does it make you mad that Gray practically mocks Jasper? I'll concede that Jasper is acting naive about going after Stephan, but he wants to see an injustice righted. That's what I love about his character. He's still seeking a way to go after the bad guys even if it's impractical. He's still only twenty years old and perhaps just young enough to think there's still a way to fix the wrongs of the war. That's why I write him this way. He still has hope.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

–FirstBlush

* * *

******The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 31 Awakening

**Story reference: **Seth brings Jasper a set of rosary beads from his mother.

Seth's father, Captain Frederic Winterbothem was not titled. My beta brought this up and it's important because, though it's not out of the range of possibility, it is unlikely that a titled family in England would be Catholic.

Per u2Shay: It's probably more likely that they are Anglican… Also, if they are in line for succession to the throne, it becomes more likely that they are Anglican as it is illegal for anyone to ascend to the throne that is either Catholic or married to someone who is.

**Historical Significance:**_ Halsbury's Laws of England__ par 39, which states: "a person who is a Roman Catholic or marries a Roman Catholic, is excluded from inheriting, possessing or enjoying the Crown [...]". _The Anglican church does pray their version of the Rosary.

**Source: **_http:/www(dot)saintgabriels(dot)org/rosary(dot)html This is a description that u2Shay found of Anglican Rosary beads,._


	32. Chapter 32 Connections

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_meem, thank you not only for encouraging me to write, but to write it this way all along..._

* * *

**Connections**

"Just set that one in the living room next to the radio," Alice directed from the dining room.

She spun back towards the nearly empty cabinet and wrapped the last of her grandmother's china before placing it in the box. Though her hands slightly shook, she methodically folded, taped, and labeled the final box for storage. Alice finally straightened her back and let out a quiet groan. She was stiff from packing. As she straightened she noticed how very odd the cabinet looked as she stood. Her face reflected back at her image from the mirrored back wall. She'd never seen it that empty before, not even when the dishes had been removed for large family dinners. The beautiful piece of furniture looked so sad and empty without its treasures. Alice couldn't help but see it as a metaphor for the old house she was leaving behind.

Three weeks ago she'd made the decision to find a new home and start fresh. She'd stay with Bella and Edward, helping with RJ and Serena while Bella recuperated from RJ's delivery. It would be a temporary solution, but one that would benefit everyone involved. Alice was glad to have a purpose again and the temporary living conditions would allow her to get acclimated to the town while she searched for a permanent teaching position. Despite the benefits that a fresh start would provide, Alice still felt disheartened that the home she'd grown to love as a child and tenderly cared for as an adult began to look more like an empty house and less like her beloved home. Alice's gaze seemed to drift through the glass as the memory of a few of Bella's words of comfort echoed in her mind.

_Alice, your grandparents would want you to move on and make new memories instead of living in the bones of theirs._

Alice knew Bella was right. Her grandparents would want her to be happy. And although it was too painful for Alice to imagine Jasper at the same time she was thinking of her departed grandparents, deep down she believe he'd want that for her too.

"Um, Miss Brandon?" a strained voice called. "Where do you want this one?"

Alice snapped out of her daydream and abruptly turned to find Cy's oldest son, Nathan, struggling with a heavy box marked "Kitchen." He'd apparently called her name more than once, but in her trance Alice hadn't heard him.

"Nathan, I'm so sorry. You can put that one in the basement but put it at the edge of the steps. I'll be looking for it once I find a place of my own."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, and Nathan, I'll be doubling what I normally pay you and Michael to look after the yard."

Nathan gave Alice an odd look which she quickly ignored.

"Well, since your father won't let me pay you for helping me today, I figured there's more than one way to skin a cat."

"I don't think my pa would like that very much, ma'am. In fact, I think I'd be skinned for sure."

"Psssshhht," Alice dismissed. "This business deal is between us. Besides, I'll need you and your brother to keep this place in tip top shape until there are new owners to care for it." Alice's voice cracked a bit at the end, but she pressed on hoping that the young boy didn't notice. "Go on, take that down to the basement before you drop it, and come back up for this one when you're done. It will go in the back left corner from the bottom of the stairs."

"Yes, ma'am."

Nathan kind of shrugged, not knowing what to say. So he just hefted the heavy box and made his way toward the basement steps.

Alice had just picked up a dusting cloth to go over the now empty breakfront when her name echoed down the stairs.

"Alllliccceee!" Cindy screeched in excitement. "Come up here, you've got to see this."

"Coming," Alice sighed.

She made her way up the stairs and toward the back bedroom only to find her sister on her knees before the large bureau in the bedroom. The packing box beside her sister didn't seem to have much more in it than when she left Cindy up there twenty minutes earlier. Alice shook her head as she stepped through the doorway.

"ALICE! Oh, there you are, finally. Come over here and see what I found."

Alice knelt down beside her sister and peered into the open drawer. There nestled in the bottom was her Grandfather's pipe and his old leather tobacco pouch.

"Gran had wrapped it in one of her silk scarves. Did you even know it was here all this time?"

Alice traced the white sculpted face of the pipe and imagined the crooked smile of the man who'd held it between his teeth.

"No, I hardly come in here. It's just a spare room. Beyond the extra bed it's been mainly storage for me."

Cindy lifted the pipe from Alice's hands. A small smile of nostalgia crossed her lovely face. Alice shared Cindy's smile for a moment before lifting the tobacco pouch. She completed the memory by closing her eyes and inhaling the remnants of the familiar, sweet tobacco.

"Alice, look!"

Alice leaned over Cindy's shoulder and found two framed photographs. The first was of Gran as a teenager. The second was of her grandparents on their wedding day.

"Wasn't Gran lovely?" Cindy sighed.

"She was beautiful, but I think Gramps looked a little nervous."

"He looks nervous about the wedding night if you ask me."

"Cindy!" Alice admonished, but before she knew it she followed her sister into a bout of laughter that had their sides aching and them both gasping for air.

"I'm going to miss you," Cindy whispered with her head in Alice's lap.

"I'm going to miss you too," Alice answered as she traced the waves of her sister's silken locks. "You know why I'm leaving," she added quietly.

Cindy just nodded in response. Both girls were silent for a moment. They'd accepted that moving would be good for Alice, but it didn't make the separation any easier. Cindy lifted her chin so she could look her sister in the eye for her request.

"Promise me you'll be happy."

Alice froze in mid stroke over her sister's hair. She didn't know how to answer, so she gave her sister the best response she could.

"I'm going to try."

Cindy's mouth twitched into sort of a grimace. She rolled off of Alice's lap and resumed her task of digging in the drawer. Alice was about to leave when another squeal from Cindy caught her attention. Cindy lifted a black velvet purse from the drawer. Cindy twisted the closure and reached inside. When her hand emerged it held a delicate hair comb from the turn of the century. Cindy's eyes grew wide as she stared at the lovely comb. She swallowed quickly and held it out to Alice.

"You take it."

"What? Absolutely not," Alice answered firmly.

"There are other things in the house I'd like to have. Besides Gran would want you to have it."

Alice hesitated. The piece was lovely and the intricate design would stand out against her dark hair. Cindy placed it in her palm and wrapped her fingers around it.

"Make sure I get a chance to see you happily wear it someday."

More than the gift from her grandmother, more than the beauty of the piece itself, Alice could see the gift her sister was offering. I understand why you need to move on, so go, but wherever you land, make it's someplace where you'll find happiness. Alice wrapped her arms around her sister in silent thanks for the gift her sister offered. Alice couldn't hope for anything more.

Alice poured the steaming water from her kettle, listening to it bubble against the sides of her cup. The steam wafted like a silky gauze coating her with warmth against the cold November night. She set the kettle back on the stove and dunked her teabag a couple of times allowing it to steep. Once her tea was ready, she curled both hands around the steaming cup and left the kitchen, shutting off the light as she went.

The house echoed differently as Alice moved from the kitchen to the dining room. The blank walls and furniture covered in sheets played an unfamiliar harmony in tune with her steps. Alice didn't like the change; it was different and a little unnerving. The edge of a shadow along the dining room table brought Alice out of her thoughts. The large vase of flowers that graced the sheet covered table stood out so markedly against its surroundings. It was like the image of a lone crocus breaking through the snow to announce that winter was nearing its end.

Alice tipped forward and inhaled deeply, pulling in the scents of calla lilies, bittersweet, and Irish bells. The scent made her smile, along with the comforting thought of the man who had sent them. Turning from the room, Alice ascended the stairs, saying a silent goodnight to the comfort of the old home. Edward and Bella would arrive a little before lunch tomorrow to take her and her belongings up to their home. It would be a day filled with activity and folks stopping by to help. So for tonight Alice was happy to say goodbye to the old family dwelling in private.

Alice reached the top of the stairs and circled her fingers around the smooth curved wood at the top of the staircase. The wood, so polished and familiar, danced like silk against her hand. Once she passed through the doorway to her bedroom, Alice set her tea on her dresser and gently opened her jewelry box. She removed her watch and placed it next to her newest treasures. A soft smile danced upon her lips as she fingered her grandmother's hair comb and the gold bands that rested beside it. Alice, Cindy, and their mother had chosen the pieces they wanted from Gran's tiny assortment of jewelry. Her mother and Cindy thought her choices were practical, but Alice, unlike her sister and mother, put more stock in the sentimental value than the practical one.

With the tea back between her hands, Alice moved around the bed, avoiding various boxes, and over to the desk lying against the southern wall. The top drawer stuck a bit as she pulled on the drawer handle before giving way. The wood screeched along the slide as if it was a petulant child not wanting to give up its favorite toy. Though it was silly to sympathize with an inanimate object, Alice could see why it would want to hold tightly onto its treasure. There, piled neatly within the drawer, were Jasper's letters. Alice swallowed thickly before settling herself and retrieving the substantial stack of pages. Beneath the letters Alice spotted an old blue velvet coin purse. She hesitated, tracing her fingertip lightly around the purse's rounded edge. The cool velvet slid beneath her feather light touch like water rolling over a gentle stream. After pausing for another brief moment, Alice plucked the purse from its resting place and curled it into the palm of her hand.

The walk from the desk over to her window seat resembled the effect of dodging road apples surrounding the horse barn of the Maryland state fair. There would be so much to do in the morning but that was for tomorrow. For tonight Alice was granting herself the gift of saying goodbye, not only to her home but also to the life she'd once dreamed of with Jasper. With a warm afghan about her shoulders, Alice tipped the coin purse until the tiny compass rolled into the palm of her hand. She pinched it between her thumb and finger and placed it on the window seat. The needle danced and bobbed back and forth in the moonlight until coming to a rest in the direction of true north.

A small smile of acknowledgement graced Alice's lovely face. She curled her knees to her chest, pressing the pages of her favorite letter from Jasper against her heart. Her fingers stretched until they caught the edge of her teacup and curled it into her awaiting palm. With the tea warming her fingers and the pages of Jasper's letter warming her heart, Alice stared through the frosted windowpane. Her breaths fogged the glass, matching her distant hazy gaze over the billowing puffs of snow floating through the night. At last she accepted the evidence that the needle of Jasper's compass indicated. Her true north wasn't pointing back toward the home behind her but out into the night's sky in search of her soul's lost mate.

A perpetual knocking brought Alice back to the surface from her dream. Startled by the sound, Alice looked around to find herself lying on top of her bedclothes still swathed in her afghan. Her bare toes were ice cold against the frigid night air. The sound of the knocking came again, a little louder this time. Alice propped herself up on her elbows and turned her head in the direction of her alarm clock. She could barely make out the numbers in the glow of the moonlight. Stiff from the ache in her shoulders that her position on the window seat had caused, Alice moaned as she stretched for the little lamp on the nightstand. With a quick flip of the nob, light flooded her bedroom. Everything was as she'd left it. The teacup, the letters and the compass all rested on her window seat. Alice alone had strayed to her bed in search of repose. A bright flash of headlights from the window brought Alice further into consciousness.

With frozen toes, Alice stumbled over to the window seat in time to see the town's only cab slowly backing down the driveway. Puzzled by the idea of a visitor brought by cab, this late into the night, Alice lifted her hand to her forehead wondering if she was still dreaming. A third set of raps on her front door brought her out of her haze.

"I'm coming!" she called out.

Turning quickly, she stumbled out of her room, knocking one or more boxes over in the process. She gripped the bannister tightly as she edged down the steps. The living room was still dark but from the edge of the stairs, Alice could see a figure standing just out of view of the long glass pane cut into the top third of her door.

Not wanting them to leave and strangely unfettered by the sight of the unannounced visitor, Alice reached for the door.

jj**JJ**jj

Jasper groaned as he faltered beneath the weight of his heavy duffel bag. He struggled with this left arm to lift the weight onto the shelf above his seat. His right was, frankly, still not worth shit.

"May I help you?" a voice called out.

An older woman with a kind face and silver streaked hair rose from her seat to assist Jasper. He swallowed both his pride and the humiliation of having to accept assistance and nodded. Together the two of them hefted and pushed until the heavy bag was tucked safely behind the ropes. Jasper let out a heavy breath and turned to the woman with gratitude in his shy eyes.

"Much obliged. Thank you kindly, ma'am."

Her return smile let him know that no thanks were needed. Though she had no sons of her own, she was glad to help one of our servicemen in a brief moment of need. She returned to her seat beside the bus window, and Jasper scooted in beside her.

"I'm Mable Butterbaugh." She smiled, offering her hand out to Jasper.

He grimaced and forced his heavy right arm to lift his hand into hers.

"Jasper Whitlock, ma'am, pleased to make your acquaintance."

Mable smiled at the soldier's fine manners.

"I'm pleased to meet you too, Jasper."

Mable rooted in the heavy bag at her side and produced a parcel wrapped in waxed paper.

"You must be hungry," she said softly to Jasper. "How do you feel about liverwurst?"

"Oh, ma'am, I couldn't. Besides I ate on the boat."

_Well, I ate breakfast anyway._

"Oh, come now, you must be ready for a snack. I imagine you have a long trip ahead of you. I'll only be on the bus for a few hours. I'm headed to Philly to see my daughter and my new grandson," Mable added before handing half her sandwich to Jasper.

Jasper looked hesitantly at her offering before she nudged him with her elbow and all but dropped the half sandwich in his lap. Startled, both by the woman's kindness and by the sudden deposit of her meal, Jasper juggled the sandwich a bit before smiling kindly once again and accepting Mable's generosity.

He took a bite and nearly closed his eyes in joy. It was the first real taste of home he'd had in two very long years. Even the food on the Queen Mary didn't match up to the joy he gained from eating a simple sandwich. It was more than the taste of the food in his mouth. It was the kindness and comfort of home that went along with it.

Jasper swallowed his first bite and turned to find Mable grinning widely at him. The self-satisfied grin was that of a mother who was happy to be useful again, if only for a short while. Seeing her joy in offering him this little comfort made Jasper long for the sight of his own mother.

"I'm sure your daughter will be very happy to see you, Mrs. Butterbaugh."

"Thank you for saying that, dear, and like I said, it's Mabel. My daughter won't be all that happy to see me. I think it's something about her being a bit too old to be told what to do by her mother."

Jasper grinned at the funny expression on Mable's face but turned to her in all seriousness. "I'd be cuffed on the ear and sent to bed for sass if I ever said something like that to my ma. It wouldn't matter how old I was when I said it."

Mabel laughed at the slight look of fear on Jasper's face when he spoke of his mother's predicted response to some sass.

"Are you heading home now?" she asked, trying her best to keep a straight face.

"No, ma'am. I'm off to find my girl."

"I didn't think so."

"How did you guess?"

"Well you're traveling south toward Philly when your accent suggests home would be much further west." Mabel grinned. "Is your girl expecting you? Does she know you're on your way?

"I sent letters before I left, but it's more likely that I'll reach home before they do. I'd like to call them from the station in Philadelphia, but the teller said the connection would be tight as it is."

"Don't worry, my boy. We'll make sure we get you where you're going."

In Philadelphia Mabel gave Jasper the remnants of her food stocks from her bag and waved him off as he took his seat on the bus to Baltimore. The connection had been close, but Mabel was a seasoned traveler from New York to Philly. Luckily for Jasper she knew the Philadelphia bus depot rather well.

Now on his second bus of the day Jasper watched the large city fade into the distance with the setting sun. He had more to think about without Mable's easy chatter to keep his mind off his worry over meeting his beloved Alice. As it often did over the week long trip across the Atlantic, Jasper's thoughts again drifted to the anxiety he knew Alice felt over not hearing from him for months. Every time the worry took root, snaking around his heart and making him choke on his fear, he prayed even harder.

_Please, Lord, don't let her think I'm dead._

In London Jasper discovered that a letter had informed his parents that he had been killed in action. Jasper doubled over thinking of his mother's tears and his father's quiet pain. He made a promise to make it up to them as soon as he returned home, but traveling from New York to Texas without stopping to see and touch and feel his girl in his arms was unimaginable. Again a silent wish went up that the news of his supposed death hadn't reached Alice. His parents knew her name and the town she lived in, but he didn't think they'd contact her. He shook his head once again, clearing it of the loop of destructive thoughts. Either way he'd do his damned best to fix it once he reached her.

The ticket clerk told him he'd arrive in Baltimore by eight. A third bus would take him to Easton, and it would be a short cab ride from there to Alice's home. Jasper knew it would be late for an evening visit, but he couldn't stand the idea of being within arms length of the girl he loved and not seeing her. He'd catch another cab back to town to rest at a bed and breakfast for the night. If all went according to his plan, she'd agree to accompany him to Texas.

_Hopefully as my intended._

Thoughts like that were almost too much to ask for. He knew his feelings for this woman hadn't changed in the months between their letters. If anything they had grown stronger. She was the light that helped him last through his darkest days. She was the voice that called out to him to be strong, to survive, and above all to come home to her.

Jasper took a deep breath and settled against the seat. The edge of the Appalachians provided a beautiful landscape for his thoughts. There was so much of the United States he longed to see with his own two eyes. Home wasn't just an ideal he'd fought for, it was a reality he'd helped to preserve. Jasper smiled to himself, knowing he'd have the chance to see it all someday. He wouldn't take one speck of this hallowed ground for granted. This was his country, his home, and from his first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty, he felt grateful for the shores he thought he'd never see again.

His thoughts turned from the sight of the New York harbor and the cheers of those who'd come to welcome them home to the final task he'd accomplished before waving goodbye to the far side of the pond.

Shaking Demetri's hand on British soil.

Jasper was relieved to learn that the Master Sergeant had more influence than he'd originally let on, but he wondered why he didn't promise Demetri's defection outright. Perhaps he didn't want to get Jasper's hopes up. Perhaps he only helped Demetri to repay him for saving Jasper's life. The reason didn't matter so long as Demetri had a real shot at defecting and finding his sister. The humanity he'd shown to Jasper needed to be repaid ten fold.

_"I wish you well," Jasper said earnestly._

_ "I will be, Yas_per_. I thank you for fighting me for. I not make it to London without you."_

_ "It's only the first step to get to London, but I know you'll make it the rest of the way." _

_ "London much better than gulags," Demetri replied with a small grin._

"_Yes, much better. Just do as the Master Sergeant asks. He's a good leader and he wants to do the right thing. You're here not only because of me but because he wants to help any other Americans out there who may have been captured by the Red Army. He needs your help. He needs proof of Stephan's orders, and if there's any way you can help him get it, he'll repay you. I know he'll do his best to help you defect." _

_Demetri nodded, understanding most of Jasper's words. _

_ "I stay. I help and they pay my help by find me Laina in return."_

_ "I hope that is very soon for you, Demetri."_

"_Yes, me as too, but not as soon as you find your Alice. Go friend," Demetri said, placing his hand on Jasper's good shoulder. "Go find your dove, I want she bring you much peace."_

The quiet bus terminal in Easton was a far cry from the bustling one in Baltimore. Jasper's bus was the last one to arrive for the evening. Passengers spilled out of the bus's tiny doors and into the cold November night. Friends and family greeted many who piled off the bus, but Jasper found himself nearly alone as he made his way toward the ticket counter. A janitor mopping the floor of the terminal paused to tip his hat to Jasper then returned to his work. The sight of the "CLOSED" sign in the terminal window nearly smothered Jasper's last reserve of energy. His duffel bag dropped to the freshly polished floor with an angry thud. Jasper pushed his back against the wall and slid down into a crouch, fisting his overgrown hair in his hands.

"Can I help you, son?"

Jasper looked up to see the janitor leaning over his mop. Both of his hands were folded over the tip and a sincere look graced his weathered face and kind eyes.

"Yes, sir, I could use some help. You see I'm trying to get to see my girl, but I'm afraid my bus has gotten in too late. Could you direct me to a hotel or bed and breakfast in town for the night?"

The janitor looked at the dejected man before him and was filled with compassion. He went over and offered the soldier a hand to help him to his feet.

"You look about beat, son. You headed further south or do you have plans to stay in Easton?"

"No, my girl lives here in Easton."

"Oh, whereabouts?"

"103 Little Park Road," Jasper replied instantaneously. He knew Alice's address like he knew his own name.

The janitor choked, seemingly on nothing but the air around him. When he finally composed himself he looked up at Jasper with very wide eyes. If Jasper hadn't known better, he'd have sworn the man had just seen a ghost.

The janitor offered a very shaky hand in Jasper's direction.

"Cecil McFarland," he began as his voice quaked. "But everyone around these parts calls me Cy."

"Jasper Whitlock," Jasper answered, doing his best to lift his weak arm and shake the man's offered hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Cy."

The smile that grew across the older man's face could have shattered the sun.

"Oh, trust me, son, the pleasure is all mine."

He quickly stowed his mop in a nearby broom closet and donned his winter coat.

"I'm going to head out to the payphone and call up Jimmy. He drives the town's cab. I work here near the holidays to make some extra money for Christmas, and I know Jimmy real well. I'll get him over here lickity split." Cy turned back to Jasper before he headed out the door with an almost wary look in his eye. "You just…you just stay right there. I'll be right back."

A little confused by the man's excitement, Jasper just nodded in response. He didn't really care what luck was being brought his way tonight to help him see Alice. He was just grateful for it. A few moments later the janitor reappeared with a freshly painted smile gracing his face.

"Jimmy is on his way. He'll be here in just a few minutes."

With Cy's words Jasper stood and began to pace a bit. This was it. He was finally going to have the chance to see his girl tonight. He was half thrilled, half sick to his stomach. Cy watched Jasper with a knowing grin covering his face. Finally he approached Jasper and halted his marching back and forth across his freshly polished floor.

"You look a bit nervous, son. Is everything all right?"

At first Jasper nodded, then he began shaking his head no. It took everything Cy had not to laugh out loud at the boy. He was going to make himself dizzy soon.

"It's just, she's been my girl for about a year now, but we've never met in person. I know I love her with my whole heart, but I'm about as nervous as a rambunctious boy on his way to confession."

Cy couldn't help but chuckle at Jasper's analogy. He placed a gentle hand on Jasper's shoulder and tried to calm the fire raging in the boy's eyes. He'd wear himself out before he ever reached Alice's front door.

"Start with that," Cy said slowly and comfortingly. "Tell her you love her and the rest will flow from there."

"You think so?"

Cy nodded without saying anything else, but his eyes bore into Jasper's with conviction.

_Trust me, son, I know so._

The town cabbie was a nice enough fellow, but Jasper was too nervous to pay him all that much mind. He'd handed him Alice's address and choked out the answer to the questions he'd been asked, but his mind and heart drifted to the girl he'd soon see. He reached inside his jacket pocket and touched his talisman for comfort. Jasper's head fell back against the cab's bench, and he prayed for the chance to show Alice in person how much he cared for her. His anxiety warred in the back of his mind, tugging doubts to the surface. He worried if she'd still care for him after not hearing from him for so long. He worried she'd found someone else or that she'd find him different and unappealing in person. He tried to squelch all of these nagging doubts by tracing his finger over the worn scrap of paper that had gotten him through months of torture and agony. He repeated her signature over and over in his mind, hoping and praying that her love had not faded or perished in his absence.

Before long the cab made a final turn up a long gravel driveway leading to an old two story colonial. The lamplight by the mailbox was the only sign of light in the house, and Jasper's heart began to beat double time.

_Oh, God, maybe she's not home. _

The cabbie popped out of his seat and ran around to lift Jasper's heavy duffel from the trunk. Jasper eased his door open and slid into the frigid night air. Snowflakes danced around him like tiny fairies escorting him along the final steps of his journey. They wafted around him, brushing his cheeks with a cold kiss, seeming to realize he was about to meet his beloved.

"Here's your bag." The cabbie smiled. "Good luck, son."

Jasper wondered what the man meant by that. He saw Cy and Jimmy whisper for a moment before he got into the cab, perhaps Cy mentioned him going to see his girl. Jasper shivered in the cold and lifted the heavy bag over his good shoulder. The cabbie turned to leave, but Jasper stopped him before he could shut the driver's door and return to the warmth held inside the cab.

"What if she's not home?"

The cabbie smiled kindly.

"I believe she is," he replied, pointing in the direction of Alice's car at the top of the driveway. "But I'll stay until we're sure someone's home."

The cabbie climbed back into his cab, and Jasper turned back toward the old house. He swallowed hard and hefted his heavy bag a little higher before heading toward the porch steps. His heart was now beating in a staccato rhythm as he lifted his hand to knock on the screen door. His first knocks went unanswered, causing fear and doubt to once again surge into the forefront of his mind. He pulled open the screen door and began to knock harder against the heavy door on the other side. Then, as in an answer to his prayer, light from an upstairs room lit the ground behind him. Jasper turned in time to see the cabbie backing slowly down the drive. He swallowed hard and returned to the heavy door in front of him.

Jasper heard a commotion from inside the dwelling just a second before the sweetest sound on earth filled his ears.

"I'm coming!"

_She's here. By God, she's here._

Alice flew down the final step and into the darkened room. She pulled her night coat tighter around her shivering frame then turned on the porch light just a split second before reaching for her door. The locks turned slowly under her shaking hands. Whoever Jimmy had brought to see her must have been important since it was a rare feat to get the man out of bed after nine in the evening. With the final lock turned, Alice pulled on the heavy door allowing a gust of cold air to rush past her. The frozen wind lifted her dark waves from her shoulders and pulled her nightgown against her bare legs. Gooseflesh covered her from head to toe as she began her simple request.

"Can I help yo—?"

There before her, lit by her yellowing porch light, was a tall soldier standing against the backdrop of a shadowy night sky. His eyes grew wide upon seeing her, and he quickly lifted his hand to his head to remove his side hat. A stream of floppy blonde waves appeared in its wake. The soldier clutched his hat over his heart and a strangled breath fell from his lips.

"Miss Alice?" he called.

Alice's chest rose and fell in heavy breaths.

_That voice._

That voice was the one she'd heard in her mind for the last four months. That voice was the one that she talked to when her own heart was breaking and in need of comfort. Most assuredly it was _that voice_ on the other end of the telephone line that had called her from London. Alice's knees began to falter as a half cry broke from her lips. The face of the young soldier before her began to crumple in worry and fear. He stood there, looking upon her, with his hat in his hand and his heart upon his sleeve. The look in his soulful eyes called out to her, begging her for the comfort of her embrace. If this was a dream or a cruel joke of her mind, Alice was about to find out. Without a second thought she answered the worry in his eyes. She leapt forward throwing herself into the air before her. She'd either land face first on her doorstep waking herself from this dream or land solidly against the man before her. She closed her eyes, held her breath, and…_jumped_.

Alice's tiny body collided against Jasper's solid chest. Her arms wrapped around his neck. He was warm. He was solid. _He was real._ A strangled cry fell from her lips as she realized she was pressed solidly up against the man she'd only dreamt of. Strong arms encircled her tiny frame, hugging her tightly to him. His head dipped to the soft skin lying between her neck and shoulder, and Alice swore she felt reverent words of prayer grace his breaths against her skin.

"I love you," he whispered.

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**A/N:** Special thanks to everyone who read, replied or pimped my teasers from last week. I'll post another one out on adifferentforest & Edwardville on Monday and Tuesday. ; )

I anxiously await your feedback on this one. : )

As always, thanks for reading,

–FirstBlush

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**Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 32 Connections

**Story reference: **Alice prepares a cup of tea before saying goodnight to her home and dreams of a future with Jasper.

**Historical Significance: **Tea bags were designed in the early 1900s. They became commercially available in the US years later. The image is of a Tetley teabag tin from the 1940s

Tetley teabag tin: http:/www(dot)etsy(dot)com/listing/75188808/vintage-tin-tetley-tea-bags-can-blue

**Source: **.com/listing/75188808/vintage-tin-tetley-tea-bags-can-blue

History of tea bags: http:/inventors(dot)about(dot)com/od/tstartinventions/ss/tea(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Alice describes the flower arrangement from Judge Clearwater which includes Irish Bells.

**Historical Significance: **The image shows how I image the bouquet to look.

**Source: **http:/t2(dot)gstatic(dot)com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTawtN-

Bells of Ireland: http:/www(dot)gardenguides(dot)com/2357-bells-ireland-garden-basics-flower-annual-molucella-laevis(dot)html


	33. Chapter 33 Surreal

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

_A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews for the last chapter. If I'm ever having a bad day and need a pick me up, I'll re-read the reviews from chapter 32._

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**Surreal**

"_I love you," he whispered._

Those beautiful words sounded in Alice's ears, causing her grip on him to falter. Jasper clung tightly to her, mustering all the strength possible into his failing right arm. He would not let her fall.

"Are you really here? Is this a dream?" she begged.

"I'm here, Alice. I swear it's not a dream."

In his words Alice found strength. Her arms wound tighter around her beloved as if the action would will the last four months of heartbreak away. Her fingers wound through the length of hair at the back of his neck, and she breathed in the scent of his travels. Her entire body trembled within his grasp.

"You're shivering, sweetheart. Let me get you inside."

The sound of the endearment falling from Jasper's lips reminded Alice that she wasn't just someone's sweetheart; she was his sweetheart. She was _his_. She belonged to the man who had literally just swept her off her feet.

Jasper shut her front door with a kick from one of his legs, then took two steps into her living room and gently rested her back on her trembling legs. Alice raised her shaking right hand and placed it over Jasper's heart. Slowly and deftly she drew back her middle finger, curling her finger against the rapid rise and fall of his chest. She held the pose that mirrored the sculpture she'd once crafted and looked up into Jasper's eyes. In wordless response, Jasper struggled but slowly lifted his right hand to Alice's cheek. The back of his knuckle lightly grazed her soft, porcelain skin completing the answer to her call.

"It's me, Alice. I came home for you."

A crack so sharp it was painful, struck inside Alice's chest, breaking the protective shell she'd developed over the last four months. An agonizing moan, escaped her lips as the shards fell away.

_He's here._

No longer able to bear the few inches of distance between them, Alice lifted her arms and flung them around Jasper's neck. Her fingers sifted through his hair, pulling him as close to her body as humanly possible.

"I love you. I love you," she cried. "Please don't let this be a dream."

Tears of unfathomable emotion poured down her cheeks as heavy breaths fell from her lips.

"God, don't let go," she whispered as her lips swept his jaw.

Jasper nearly cried in sweet agony at the touch of Alice's lips on his face. He wanted so much to kiss her, to be hers and hers alone, but he needed her to know how he'd changed from the boy who wrote her letters so full of love and challenge all those months ago. He pulled back from her embrace and sunk to his knees before her. Alice was stunned by the look of pain on Jasper's face as he pressed his head to her waist. Jasper wrapped his arms about her tiny frame, shut his eyes and poured out his heart.

"I am a broken man, Alice. My soul is not clean. It bears the weight of many men whom I was not good enough, or strong enough, or brave enough to save."

Alice didn't know what to say to ease his sorrow. She only knew that somehow he'd survived and made his way back to her. She wove her fingers through his wavy locks in an effort to comfort him but he didn't relax or move from his knees. Alice traced her hand along his cheek, down to the edge of his chin. She lifted it gently in silent request for him to look at her. Jasper slowly complied, and Alice's heart sputtered at the pain she could see etched into his stare. Determination flared within her. He had made it home, and Alice swore that she would not let this pain take him from her. She leaned down to look into the wet eyes of her beloved, and gently kissed away his tears. When her legs began to falter, she sat on the edge of the coffee table and brought his head to her chest, to rest above her heart.

"You aren't broken, Jasper," she whispered soothing him with her touch. "You're here. You're mine. And even if you were broken, I'd hold you together until you could mend. I'm yours, Jasper. Tell me what's weighing on you and I will share the load. I'll keep you whole."

Jasper shut his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't deserve you."

"That's probably true," Alice began with a small smile on her lips. "But I imagined you crawling on your knees to me, I thought it would be because you were begging for some of my peach pie."

At Alice's lame, but well-timed joke, both of them chuckled and ungracefully snorted and snickered through their tears. Alice brought Jasper up from his knees and pulled them both over to her couch. She took his hands in hers stroking them. She would wait and listen to whatever he needed to unload.

"I love you, Jasper."

Jasper looked into Alice's eyes and saw the woman he'd so often prayed would love him back. The look of longing and adoration in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She was still here. She had left her heart open for him to crawl inside and be loved. He leaned forward and guided his hand around her neck, gently pulling her toward him. His heart beat furiously and his breath caught in his chest as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. Her soft lips were like buttercream, sweet and moist and full. His breath faltered as she laid her hands upon his chest and felt the heavy rise and fall of his rapid breaths.

Alice traced her fingers along the line of Jasper's lapel before tugging on it, inching him closer. She could not get close enough. Jasper's breaths became hers as their lips pressed together again and again, touching, feeling, and welcoming home the other half of her once broken heart.

"My north," she breathed.

"What, sweetheart?" Jasper asked, kissing her temple then following the curve of her cheek with his lips.

"It's part of a poem by W. H. Auden. I read it so many times after—" Alice shut her eyes, remembering the night she broke the sculptures in her studio. After she took a moment to compose herself she pulled back to stare deeply into Jasper's eyes. "The words are true. You are my north, my south, my east and west, my working week, my Sunday rest. You are my moon, my moonlight, my talk, my song. You are my love, the breath for which I long."

Alice smiled a little, willfully changing the last line of the stanza to match the hopefulness she found blooming in her heart. Hopefully Mr. Auden would forgive her for the change, _just this once._

The words she spoke echoed like a choir in a cathedral. Their beauty bounced over his once hollow shell filling him up and sealing the cracks in his resolve.

"I have longed for you, Alice…every day, every moment. I would not have survived without you," he said as he cradled her face and traced the glistening line of her cheeks with his thumbs.

Jasper reached inside his coat pocket and produced the tiny scrap of paper that had once bore Alice's love emblazoned in blue ink. He placed the paper in the palm of her hand and lifted his finger to lightly trace along the words too faint to see.

"Love, Alice," he whispered. "This was from your last letter. I had tucked it away in the hollow bar of my belt one night before I was captured. It was the only thing they didn't find, the only thing they didn't burn," Jasper added, swallowing hard and dropping his head down to his chest.

Alice's heart broke for her love. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his blond waves, cradling the slip of paper between his head and her hand.

"What happened, Jasper?" she pled.

"I was on my way to Berlin when I was captured by Russian soldiers. They had been given orders to hold any Americans they found in German POW camps. The Russians were using the American POWs as pawns with our government. They wanted to ensure that any of their own soldiers liberated from camps, were returned and not allowed to defect to the West. I had escaped once but was eventually recaptured. The men…" Jasper paused. "The other Americans in the camp I was trying to liberate were all killed. Their bodies were burned either to destroy the evidence of their deaths or as retribution for my escape."

Alice rolled her free hand over Jasper's back to comfort him and to help relieve his heavy burdens.

"The Russian soldiers who found me held me for months as we marched through the German forest. I eventually befriended one of them who helped me escape, but it came at a heavy price. He shot his countryman so that I could escape. I'm here today in trade for another life, and not just one, but many lives."

The weight of Jasper's words felt like a confession. It was as if he wanted her to know how unworthy he was of her love because he survived when others had perished. Alice pushed against Jasper's shoulders until he lifted his head from her chest. She once again wiped his tears and looked straight into his eyes.

"I can see how much you're hurting, Jasper, but you are not unworthy of happiness or love because you survived. I'm going to tell you something someone told me when I was mourning you."

Jasper swallowed and shook his head in defeat. "You don't know how hard I prayed that the news had never reached you."

"I know it now," she said with a small smile. Alice lifted her hand and wound her fingers through his hair brushing it back from his face. "But as unbearable as it was, I think there was a reason behind me going through that pain. I think God had a plan. I think that I survived the news so that I could learn how to help you now," she began. "It was pure agony to lose you, Jasper. All of my fears came crashing down around me shattering me," she said swallowing down the ache looming in her chest. "Those were the darkest moments of my life and surviving them was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I did it. I continued to live. I continued to breathe in and breathe out, not just for myself, but because of you. Bella asked me not to dishonor your memory by letting my life fall to waste. She said that you wouldn't want that for me, and I don't believe those men who died would want that for you either."

Alice stopped to stroke Jasper's face. She leaned down a little further to catch his eyes and be sure he was not only hearing, but also accepting her words.

"Bella told me to live and to teach my students about the man I loved and the soldier who fought to end the war. She told me to teach them about peace. She said that each child I touched would serve the fallen soldier's cry for peace. You can do that too, Jasper. You can tell others the story of the fallen soldiers."

Jasper closed his eyes and nodded. This is what he had already vowed to do when he left the Pathfinders' remains at the camp.

"Above all, Jasper, you can live a good life and not take the one they sacrificed for granted. It won't be easy, but you won't have to do it alone. There were days when I felt like I couldn't get out of bed. It hurt like hell. God, it hurt, but I clung to those words of guidance every day to help me survive, to help me move on."

For the first time, Jasper looked about the room and noticed all of the boxes.

"You're leaving?" his voice trembled. He was almost afraid of her answer.

"I was." She smiled.

Jasper swallowed hard, taken back by the radiance of Alice's smile.

_God, her beauty is like the sun. I will never grow tired of seeing this face._

"You're so beautiful," he breathed, lifting his hand to trace her delicate cheek.

"Yes, of course I am," Alice teased. She lifted her hand to touch her frazzled hair as if she could pat it back into place. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She had not a lick of makeup on and not a single pin in her hair. This was not the way she had imagined herself fixed for the moment she met her love.

Suddenly she burst out in near hysterics. Jasper couldn't help but laugh along with her.

"Why?" He laughed some more, trying to compose himself, but Alice's laughter, combined with his own exhaustion, made it impossible for him to collect himself. Finally, he lifted her hand to his lips as a symbol of his earnest feelings, but Alice continued to guffaw. "Why are you laughing?"

"I've been in agony for months. My heart was broken when I thought you were dead. I've talked to you in my head and in my prayers. I've nearly gone mad. And now I have you in my home, holding my hand, kissing my knuckles, and all I can think of is how I look for you at this moment. I'm an utter disaster."

Alice lifted the back of her hand to her forehead and shook her head at the irony.

"The truth is that none of that matters. Well, maybe it would to my mother but other than that…"

Jasper pulled her hand from her nervous patting and kissed each fingertip before turning her hand over and placing one in the palm of her hand.

"If I am lucky enough to have one more moment with you, it will be the best moment of my entire life."

Alice's head fell to her hands as she shook it back and forth. She looked up again at him and grinned.

"I can see that your poetic words are not lost only to paper."

"I don't think I could ever run out of them when it comes to you," Jasper replied honestly, placing his large hand upon Alice's soft cheek.

Alice leaned into Jasper's warm touch and sighed.

"I love you," she said, shaking her head a bit. "Gosh, it feels so good to say that and to have you actually hear it."

"I love you, too," he replied, watching Alice's face grow both teary and bright. "As good as it feels to hear you say it. Seeing your face light up at those words is even better. I love you, Alice Brandon."

Alice's smile grew even wider, and once more tears of utter happiness and joy rolled over her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered closed in peace as he placed another gentle kiss on her lips.

"You must be so tired, sweetheart," Jasper began as his thumb stroked her soft cheek. Alice swayed slightly and Jasper mistook her contentment with exhaustion. "I should probably go and let you get some rest."

Though he did not want to leave her for a moment, out of both duty and honor Jasper made a motion to stand. Alice's eyes went wide with fear.

"I'm not tired," she said, lifting her heavy eyes and blinking away any thoughts of sleep. The idea of him leaving for the night left her struggling for air. "Come into the kitchen," she requested in order to stave off his departure. "Let me get you something to eat. I don't have any peach pie, but I can make some tea and get you something to fill your empty stomach."

"How did you know I was hungry?" He grinned.

"You look about twenty pounds lighter than you did in your photograph," Alice answered with a rueful smile. "You could use a lot more than just one extra meal."

Jasper smiled and took her hand. "Okay, just something light. Don't go to any trouble."

Alice smiled at the idea of going through too much trouble for Jasper. She wanted to cook him a feast but would have to settle for the remnants of food currently sitting in her Frigidaire. Alice set the teakettle on the stove, musing that she could use a warm drink herself. The shock of Jasper's arrival was still settling into her bones. She looked up from her work to once more make sure this wasn't just a dream. She found Jasper standing in her dining room, tracing the petal of a calla lily with his fingertip. She could tell he wanted to ask about them, but was holding his tongue.

"Where were you going?" Jasper asked instead, motioning to the empty breakfront and sheet covered furnishings about the room.

"I was going to move in with Edward and Bella and take care of your namesake until I found a teaching position in Cinnaminson."

"My namesake?"

Alice smiled widely. "Yes, Riley Jasper Masen, or RJ for short, was born last month. He was a bit early and small, but he's definitely a survivor. I wonder where he gets that from?" She smirked.

The moment was so surreal that Alice could barely get a grip on the emotions washing over her. She couldn't believe she was standing in her kitchen, joking with Jasper, as he waited to be seated at her table. The whistle on Alice's teakettle began to blow, bringing her back to the task at hand. She turned from Jasper's beautiful smile to fix his tea. A modest sandwich accompanied the steeping tea, while two slices of pound cake defrosted on her countertop. She wished it was so much more, but it would have to do.

Alice set her modest kitchen table. The saucer for Jasper's teacup became his plate. Everything else had already been packed away.

Jasper hummed in appreciation a moment after the first bite crossed his lips.

"A little better than the Loch Ness?" Alice joked.

"Immensely," he crooned. "Best peanut butter and jelly I've ever had."

"You're mocking me."

Jasper placed his good hand over his heart.

"I swear it's true. This is the best thing I've eaten in a very long time."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Alice answered, shaking her head. "With the move I was trying to clear out all the food. I'm sorry I don't have more to offer you."

"Alice," Jasper began, lifting her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. "It's perfect."

Jasper smiled, and upon seeing Alice smile in return, he went back to finishing his sandwich.

"Did you know you can't even get peanut butter in the UK?"

Alice shook her head at one of the unknown oddities of war, her grin hid deftly behind her teacup. She watched with undisguised joy as Jasper reveled in her simple sandwich. She left the table to drizzle a simple powered sugar glaze over the slices of pound cake, serving both to Jasper once he finished his sandwich.

"Won't you have one with me?"

"No, you need them both," she said, lifting her chin toward the plate. "It makes me happy to see you eat."

Jasper dove into his dessert, but felt guilty after tasting a few bites of home baked heaven.

"Please share some with me?" he teased, dangling a forkful of cake before Alice. His eyes were so wide and innocent. It warmed Alice's heart to still see the smile of the young boy hidden beneath the tired eyes of the soldier.

Alice leaned forward and opened her mouth. Jasper swallowed hard as he watched Alice's eyes flutter closed. He slid the fork into her mouth, and she slowly closed her lips around the morsel of cake. She chewed and licked her lips, catching the stray crumb that rested in the corner of her mouth. Jasper's eyes flew wide open and all traces of the innocent boy quickly vanished from his mind.

"I'm full," he practically croaked, pushing his chair back from the table.

He stood and reached out for her, helping her up from her seat. The gesture was so natural to him. It was so kind and thoughtful it made Alice's heart ache to think that this was what she'd been missing for all those months. She quickly shook her head. The time was not lost. They were just about to start their future together. Alice set the dishes in the sink and followed Jasper through the dining room and back toward her front door.

Alice's hand lingered on the cloth covering the dining room table and her eyes met the card that had accompanied her bouquet. A stray thought passed through her head. It was both spontaneous and impulsive. She tried to dust it away, but her heart didn't want to let it go. She wanted to be with Jasper not only for tonight, but for always.

Jasper paused when he reached the living room, noticing that Alice had strayed a few steps behind him. He watched her fingers dance over the flowers, and he tried to shake the fear that they were from another beau. He didn't want to believe her affections were shared with another. He wanted to ask but again remained silent. She would tell him in time. Instead he opened his arms and felt his heart swell when Alice turned and walked right into his embrace. He sighed, for now he was content in simply knowing that she loved him.

"I need to call a cab," Jasper whispered, sifting his fingers through Alice's hair. "I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"Don't go," she begged.

The pain in her voice nearly broke him. He could see fear in her eyes. He gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms to reassure her. He would be back in a few hours, practically even before the sun rose.

"I don't want to, but it's late, Alice," he said, looking at the clock on her wall. It was well past ten thirty.

Despite Jasper's attempts to soothe her, a part of Alice was terrified that this was just a dream. She could only shake her head no at the idea of him leaving, not wanting to give a voice the fears etched in her heart. Alice left Jasper's warm embrace and paced back toward the dining room. She looked once more at the bouquet and began to more fully consider her errant thought.

Jasper averted his eyes, suddenly aware of how bare Alice was before him. The translucent fabric of her nightdress did nothing to hide the curve of her frame as she passed before the lamplight.

"I have to go," Jasper implored with eyes on the floor, shaking his head. "I can't stay here, sweetheart. It's indecent."

"What if it weren't?" Alice asked, as her fingers splayed along the tablecloth.

"Indecent?" Jasper asked incredulously. "Of course it's indecent for me to stay here tonight."

Alice lifted the card next to her bouquet from the table and tapped it lightly to her bottom lip. She turned back toward Jasper but he had kept his eyes on the floor. It helped Alice not to have to look him in the eye just yet. She suddenly felt more than a bit nervous about her request.

"Leah's father, the Honorable Judge Clearwater, was wishing me well in my move," she all but whispered. "He asked me to call on him if I was ever in need of his assistance."

Upon hearing Alice's words, Jasper finally looked up to see the card that was next to her bouquet, held delicately in her hands. She looked a bit bashful but Jasper wasn't focused on that. He was practically singing in relief that the flowers were not from a new beau. Alice shifted from foot to foot and Jasper stood in stunned silence trying to comprehend the shy smile gracing Alice's lovely face.

Alice swallowed hard and moved to stand before Jasper, taking his hands in hers. She looked up at him with love and adoration in her eyes as two words fell from her lips.

"Marry me."

* * *

A/N: Alice is a pretty independent character but I'm curious to know what you thought about her proposal. Did you think she was being confident and taking charge by asking Jasper to marry her or did you think it was weak of this strong character to propose marriage just to see her beau not walk away, even if it was only for the night?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-FirstBlush

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 33 Surreal

**Story reference: **Alice worries about what will be in her "Frigidaire" to serve Jasper.

**Historical Significance: **A Frigidaire was a common name used for a refrigerator. The source (p. 61) shows an ad from Life Magazine where housewives thank GM for long lasting products and wartime help.

**Source: **http:/books(dot)google(dot)com/books?id=BkIEAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA61&lpg=PA61&dq=when+where+frigidaire's+common+in+american+homes&source=bl&ots=432rQgbmrc&sig=ZCV_DieJzTFsc-MSNKTRuIM-Cjc&hl=en&ei=_jEfTsujIpLogQeztaSlAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CD4Q6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper describes receiving a meal on the Queen Mary to Mable Butterbaugh.

**Historical Significance: **Only two meals were served a day to those servicemen who were transported on the Queen Mary.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/28/a4033928(dot)shtml

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper describes the absence of Peanut Butter in the UK.

**Historical Significance: **Peanut Butter, although common in the US, is not in wartime UK. It was created around 1890 doctor as a easy to digest protein for people who couldn't chew meat.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)fortunecookiechronicles(dot)com/2007/09/29/peanut-butter-is-so-american-you-cant-even-really-find-it-in-the-uk/


	34. Chapter 34 At Last

**__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

* * *

**At Last**

"Marry me, Jasper," Alice said a second time. She looked intently into his eyes as she spoke. "I don't want you to go, now or ever. I love you, and I never want to be with anyone else but you. You've come back from being lost forever. I don't want to wait any longer to call you mine. Marry me, tonight."

Jasper tried very hard not to smile. He pursed his lips but couldn't help how the corners of his mouth twitched as he suppressed his grin. As he opened his mouth to reply, his grin only grew wider taking away any bite to the words that had yet to fall from his lips.

"Miss Alice, you wound my sensibilities. Shouldn't I be the one asking for your hand?"

Upon seeing his grin, Alice worked hard to suppress her own.

"If you accept my proposal, I won't be _Miss_ Alice for long and then we'll both be happy," she answered with a sardonic lift of her eyebrows. "Besides, you've known for some time that I am not your typical girl. I'm not exactly afraid to take matters into my own hands to get the job done. Where would the war generals have been if I hadn't taken the time to sort out the air strikes while writing to you and teaching all at the same time?" she teased.

Jasper smiled and rubbed his fingers over his lips to try to conceal his growing grin.

"I should have known better than to think I'd wear the pants," he mumbled.

Alice lifted her hand to Jasper's cheek. A smile played gracefully on her lips. She lifted his chin from his chest so that his eyes would meet hers.

"How about we each share a leg?"

Jasper laughed and gently folded her into his arms. He lovingly kissed the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I never want to say no to you…ever, but I have plans for us. I've seen you so many times in my dreams. Standing beside me on the ridge at home. Our family is seated before us, and a pastor is standing behind. Your smile is so bright and your hand reaches out to take mine. I want you to have that, Alice. I want you to have a beautiful day that we plan together and celebrate with our loved ones."

Alice smiled and buried her head deeper into Jasper's chest. The feel of his warm embrace was so comforting and now that she finally felt it, she couldn't bear the thought of being without it.

"It sounds beautiful."

"It will be. I promise you a day like that," he added, kissing the top of her head once more. "As wonderful as it sounds to be able to call you my wife tonight. I'll be almost as happy if you'll do me the honor of becoming my intended."

"Are you asking me to marry you, Jasper Whitlock?"

"Yes, I believe I am," he added with a shy shrug. "But tonight I have nothing to offer you. No ring, no home, no bed to lay your head. I want to do this the right way. You deserve that. You deserve that and so much more, Alice."

"You remember who I am, right? You yourself reminded me of that once. I am my grandmother's daughter. All I need is your heart to be happy, Jasper, nothing more. Please give me that gift tonight. It will be a moment just for us, then we can have the public wedding with our families later. I promise."

He could see both joy and nervousness in her eyes as she waited for his reply. Her beautiful, gray blue eyes shone in the lamplight and he knew he could not say no to her. He didn't want to. In truth, every part of him was aching to say yes.

"I am in so much trouble," he answered, shaking his head.

Alice's grin grew wider as she saw the smile hidden in Jasper's downcast eyes.

"Why is that?" she teased, fully knowing the answer.

"My bride already wields more power than Andromeda ever had over Perseus."

"Bride?" Alice asked, ignoring the rest of Jasper's half tease half compliment.

Jasper nodded and Alice threw her arms around him in happiness. Jasper pushed down the pain in his arm and hoped Alice wouldn't notice. He returned her kiss and a surge of joy filled him at the thought of taking this woman as his wife. Alice kissed him deeply in response, then took him by the hand and led him upstairs.

"Where are we going?" Jasper asked. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as they reached the top of the stairs and neared the entrance to her bedroom.

"I have to get changed. Even I wouldn't get married in my nightgown."

Jasper froze at the entrance to her bedroom. Alice flicked on the light, and Jasper saw the rumpled sheets where she had slept. Alice flew to the dresser, dumping her robe on the bed, and pulled out the top drawer. There were only a few articles of clothing left in it, but it wasn't hard for Jasper to figure out they were her delicates. He dropped his head both embarrassed and excited. He tried very hard to wipe the un-chivalrous smile from his face, but for the life of him, he could not.

"I should wait downstairs," he mumbled.

Alice froze, realizing her mistake. In her excitement she ignored the reaction of the shy gentleman standing not five feet from her. Jasper was the first boy to ever step over the threshold of her bedroom. She looked over to the doorway to find Jasper staring at the carpet beneath his shoes and grating his teeth over his lower lip. His show of humility reminded Alice of Jasper's letter of introduction and his kind and gentlemanly ways. Suddenly she realized she was embarrassing him. Alice dropped the garments back into the drawer and marched over to Jasper taking his face in her hands. She kissed him softly and sweetly. His breaths fanned across her face and his arms moved of their own volition to encircle her.

"I love that you're so respectful of me. It's who you are, and it's a gift I won't take for granted. Here," she said, stepping back from his embrace. She pushed on his good shoulder moving him slightly back in the direction of the hall. "Turn around. I'll change quickly," she said.

Jasper was a little surprised that she'd stepped away from him, even if she was right. He was painfully aware of his embarrassment, but he was also enjoying their kiss and hadn't wanted it to end so suddenly. Jasper was about to comply with her request and turn around when the glimpse of something edging out of the corner of her nightdress caught his eye. In a painfully slow movement, he lifted his right arm and edged his fingers beneath the cotton of her nightgown. Jasper's eyes were intently focused on where his fingers disappeared beneath neckline. The tip of his middle finger felt it first, then the others rolled over it. Finally, he grasped the metal ball chain and lifted it from its hiding place beneath her gown.

The combination of the intensity of Jasper's stare, the sensation of his fingertips, and the feel of the warm metal being lifted from her skin made Alice shudder.

One link at a time, the ball chain moved through Jasper's fingers down the length of the necklace until his fingers reached the solitary metal tag at the end of the chain. He shook his head sadly as his thumb traced over the letters of his last name.

Alice reached up to capture Jasper's hand in her own. She lifted her eyes to his, but Jasper's remained glued to the metal tag hanging from her neck.

"I've worn it every day since I got it," she explained. "It somehow made it hurt a little less to have something you've worn close to your heart resting against my chest." Alice lifted the chain over her head and placed it in Jasper's hand. "I don't need it any more," she whispered, pressing her lips against his fingers that she'd closed over the chain. "I have the real thing. I have the man who wore this, not just his memory."

Jasper wrapped Alice tightly in his arms and pressed kisses to the top of her head. His throat nearly closed, choking him on the emotions he felt for this woman.

"I never knew you loved me this much. I hoped and prayed for it, but I had no idea. Thank you. The gifts you give, your strength, your beauty, your light, all completely amaze me."

Realizing she was about to break down again, Alice lifted her head and gave Jasper a watery smile. Once again, she stepped back from his embrace and pushed on his shoulder until Jasper turned around.

Alice lifted the fabric of her gown from her shoulders and allowed it to fall to the floor. A playful smirk danced on her lips.

"I may acknowledge that you're here, but if you think I'm letting you out of my sight, Jasper Whitlock, you're crazy."

Jasper laughed.

"Okay, I surrender. I surrender. I won't leave your sight."

Alice began rummaging through one of her boxes to find something to wear for her betrothed. She lifted the dress she was searching for in triumph, but paused when she heard Jasper's reply.

"Surrender?" she quipped. "I didn't think you'd give in so easily. That seems pretty contrary to the soldier I know, Private Whitlock."

Alice stepped into the dress and began searching for the matching shoes. A minute or so later she buckled one of her high heels around her ankle and watched as Jasper shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"It's not really a surrender when it's what you've always wanted all along."

Alice froze in the act of brushing her brown waves. She walked over to him and pressed her forehead to the crease between his shoulder blades. Her arms wrapped themselves around his middle, fisting over the hairbrush that rested in one of her hands. She took a deep breath and gently kissed his back as her arms tightened around him.

"You were so worth the wait."

Jasper smiled to himself and gently rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

"Are you ready?"

He wasn't just asking if she was dressed. He wanted to know she was sure about getting married so soon.

"I've been ready since you first told me you loved me," she whispered. "But give me just one more moment to fix my face."

Alice released him and quickly went into the hall bath. Her fingers flew in nervous frenzy to pin up her hair and apply a red sheen to her lips. A small dab of perfume graced the places her mother had once shown her, her wrists, behind her ears and down her décolletage. Alice looked over her reflection in the mirror truly stunned by the woman staring back at her. She looked bright, happy and ready to take hold of her future with both hands. With a deep breath for composure, she opened the door to present herself to Jasper. She blushed, like any bride when confronted by the stunned gaze held by her groom.

Alice looked down, more than a little embarrassed by the attention.

"It's—It's the dress I wore to the June fete. I know it's way too cold for it, but it's white and pretty and…"

Jasper took her by the hand and pulled her to him kissing her knuckles, her palm, and the underside of her wrist.

"You're so beautiful. I don't even have the words to describe how lovely you are. I am a lucky man, more than lucky; I'm blessed. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but I'm going to spend my life trying to be worthy of you."

Alice blushed again at Jasper's declaration. Jasper went to pull her toward the stairs, but she hesitated.

"Wait, I need to get a few things."

She released Jasper's hand and quickly returned to her bedroom. She fixed the bedclothes and moved to her jewelry box. She watched her reflection as she slid her grandmother's antique hair comb into her dark waves nodding in approval once it was set.

Alice was taking a bit longer than Jasper expected, and though he didn't want to intrude on her in her bedroom, the distance from her had made him a bit edgy. He smiled and began shaking his head as he realized he didn't want to be away from her either.

"Alice?" he called out as he poked his head in the doorway.

He was trying to be respectful of her privacy, but when she nearly jumped out of her skin, he was by her side in an instant.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Are you all right?"

Alice put her hand over her thrumming heartbeat and nodded.

"Just saying thank you," she answered before taking one of his hands in hers. "Have you ever had the feeling that someone up there was looking out for you?"

Jasper thought about it and smiled.

"Well, I guess you could say that I've been working my guardian angel overtime."

Alice groaned at his awful joke.

"You certainly have, but what I meant was more like someone guiding your way. Someone who was putting things in place so they'd fall into step when the time came."

"No," Jasper answered, shaking his head. "But I have a strong feeling that whoever was looking out for you, was saving my hind end too."

That made her laugh, which in turn made Jasper feel a bit lighter. He loved the sound of her laughter. He wanted to make her laugh and smile everyday. He watched as Alice stepped back toward her dressing table and reached inside a small jewelry box.

"I got these today," she said pulling two gold bands from the box. "They belonged to my grandparents. Would you mind?"

"I'd be honored," Jasper answered. Alice could easily see the sincerity shining in his eyes.

Jasper took the rings in his left hand and placed them in the breast pocket of his uniform. He watched as Alice gently closed the lid of her box. She smiled to herself as her fingers traced the wooden inlay. Jasper held out his hand for her, which she gladly accepted. Together they were ready to face their future.

At the bottom of the steps, Alice gathered her coat and gloves from the hall closet. She turned to find Jasper staring at the tiny table in the corner.

"Alice?" Jasper called out. He hadn't shifted his gaze as he spoke.

"Yes," she replied distractedly. She pulled her hat from the top of the closet and spun to face him.

When Jasper didn't respond to her voice, she quickly moved toward him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Jasper?"

Between her touch and the sound of her voice, Jasper broke from his thoughts. He turned to look down upon her face filled with love and concern.

"I'd like to make a telephone call."

Instantly Alice understood his simple request. There was longing in his beautiful blue eyes, and she could almost kick herself for not suggesting it sooner. She was too wrapped up in her own joy and she hated that she'd only been thinking of herself.

"Please," she said, extending her hand toward the tiny telephone table. "Would you like some privacy?"

Jasper's brow furrowed at the thought. He shook his head no and turned back to the table. He took a deep breath and lifted the receiver to his ear.

Alice draped her coat over one of the covered chairs and left her hat and gloves near the vase of flowers. She hesitated, tracing the brooch on the collar of her wool coat nervously as Jasper spoke to the operator giving her instructions on the long distance call.

It was painfully quiet as each of them waited nervously for an answer from the other end of the line. Alice's breath caught in her chest, hearing Jasper's pained request.

"Please, just let it ring a little longer. I'm certain someone's home."

Alice walked up behind him and encircled Jasper in her arms, giving him her support. Her forehead lay against his back and she squeezed him tightly. Jasper relaxed a bit upon feeling the arms of his sweetheart wrapped around him. With the phone in his good hand, he lifted the other slowly to take one of Alice's. His head bowed as he lifted her fingers to his lips for a kiss then rested them back against his chest and over his heart. The phone line continued its pattern as he waited impatiently.

_Buzz…_halt. _Buzz_…halt.

A silent prayer went up from each of them, hoping for an answer.

Suddenly Jasper stiffened and Alice shut her eyes. She hoped the operator would give him just a few more minutes to try. Instead of pleading for more time, she heard the sleepy, craggily voice of an older woman on the other end of the line.

_"Hello?" _

Jasper let out a strangled moan. His mother's voice was tired and scratchy, but she was there.

"Ma?" he nearly cried. "It's me—_Jasper_."

It took more than a few tries to convince Mrs. Whitlock that this wasn't some sort of a sad joke. Jasper spoke first with his mother, and when she was crying too hard to stay on the line his father took the phone.

_"Jasper?"_ his father asked, half hopeful half doubtful.

"Yes, Pa, it's me."

The sound of Jasper's voice erased any doubts.

_"My God, boy, where the hell are you?"_

Just as he had with his mother, Jasper explained to his father that he'd just arrived in the States today and that this was the first chance he'd had to call. He promised to call again in the morning and reassure them that this wasn't either a dream or a cruel joke. Alice understood their fears; they were the same ones she felt nagging on her own heart. She squeezed Jasper tighter to reassure herself. Her ears pricked as the sound of her name came over the phone line.

"Yes, Ma. I'll be bringing her too. I promise. I'll call you in the morning. I love you too. Goodnight."

All in all the conversation hadn't lasted more than ten minutes. Alice wondered if she could talk to her own mother for only ten minutes after giving them news like that. She was broken from her musing by the sounds of the receiver hitting the cradle and Jasper's heavy exhaling.

"How are they?" she asked.

"Shocked, happy, half awake. I'll need to call them first thing tomorrow morning. Ma will be sitting by the phone and Pa will be pacing right next to her. My guess is they won't leave the house until they hear from me again, which will mean a lot of surly chickens and agitated horses. I imagine Rupert will kick up a hellova fuss."

Alice smiled. Jasper's drawl had become more pronounced as he spoke and it made her happy to see him thinking about his family farm. Maybe, just maybe, he'd allow himself to move forward. She didn't expect him to forget the past, but she hoped he wouldn't allow it to crush his future either.

"Rupert?" Alice questioned with a smile on her lips.

Jasper frowned. His mind had already gone to wondering about the fence surrounding the pasture and if his old man had tried to fix it without him in the last few months. An irritated Rupert would want to stretch his legs after being cooped up in his stall past feeding time. He turned to see the playful grin on Alice's face and wondered what she'd think of the farm. For the first time it struck him.

_She'd come with me, right?"_

"Rupert is a one year old col—" Jasper shook his head in disbelief. "No, he's nearly four by now, full grown. He was the colt I was training before I left. He was fairly skittish, but I thought he'd make a good ranch horse someday."

Alice smiled, but Jasper stopped to take her hand in his.

"What I said—I mean, what I told my folks," Jasper paused again to clear his throat. "Alice, you'll come with me, won't you?"

She lifted her hand to his cheek.

"Is that what has you worried? That I wouldn't follow you? Where you go, I go. I'm certainly packed for it," she teased, motioning around the room. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

Jasper let out a heavy breath when he saw the fire of conviction in her eyes. His concern was replaced with a dancing light of happiness and he kissed her once more.

"I'm sure they couldn't, but I'd tame them for you if they even tried," he replied with his lips upon hers.

"You owe me a riding lesson," she quipped as she tried to catch her breath. "Don't think I've forgotten about that."

"Yes, ma'am," he answered as his arms surrounded her. "I always keep my promises and cover my debts."

"That you do," Alice whispered, thinking of his telephone promise to her. "That you have."

aj**AJAJ**aj

Alice looked up at the stately mansion. It was at the end of a long gooseneck that wound along Sharp Road. Her tires rolled along the edge of the road, halting with a slight squeal of her brakes. Alice winced at the sound hoping it wasn't loud enough to wake anyone. She frowned realizing how silly she was being. The screeching brakes wouldn't matter. The home's staff and its owner would be awakened shortly. Alice looked over at Jasper who also seemed to be questioning if their decision to come had been a sound one.

"I can take you back into town to the Bartlett Pear Inn or to Bishop's Bed and Breakfast if you'd prefer."

"I'm not having second thoughts, Alice," he replied taking her gloved hand in his. "I'm a man of my word, and when I said I was ready to have you as my bride, I meant it. I was just wonderin' if a man of the law in these parts often carries a gun. I imagine that it's not often that they get a knock on their door at a quarter past eleven."

"I could go to the door first if you're worried," she teased. "You know, to protect you from bodily harm."

"You're either mocking me or purposefully trying to ruffle my feathers. Either of which will get you into trouble, Miss Alice."

Alice smiled back and pulled her keys from the ignition. "We'll see."

Jasper was out of the car and around to Alice's door before she had a chance to retrieve her purse from the seat behind her. He opened her door for her and extended his hand to help her out. He wrapped her fingers around the crook of his arm, placing his hand on top of hers.

Alice was a little taken aback by his charms.

"Do you do this for all of your lady friends, private?"

"Nope, just you and the debs," he quipped.

Alice pretended to growl at the mention of debutantes. "You're either mocking me or purposefully trying to ruffle my feathers. Either of which will get you into trouble, private."

They reached the Clearwater's door and their mood suddenly sobered. Their hopes to become man and wife would either be granted or dashed by the Honorable Harold Clearwater. Jasper struggled to lift his hand to knock. Alice mistook the action for being timid and grabbed the brass knocker and gave it a few loud wraps. Needless to say the staff was less than pleased to come to the door in the near middle of the night.

"We'd like to see Judge Clearwater," Jasper called out in a clear and confident voice. "It's important."

No one under the employment of the Clearwaters relished the idea of breaking the Missus from her beauty sleep, but after a brief explanation, one of the maids left them in the foyer as she headed up the steps.

"What in blue blazes could someone possibly want at this hour, Harold?"

Alice stiffened at the sound of Madam Clearwater's wretched screech. Although they'd met a few times since that awful day at school, their conversation had been awkward and uncomfortable. Jasper, who recalled Alice's description of the _old bat_, tightened his grip on Alice's hand and positioned himself slightly in front of her. He would defend her and shield her from harm.

The judge was dressed in slippers and a royal blue robe. His tired eyes blinked furiously against the harsh downstairs light. He'd obviously been asleep, his normally coiffed hair was a riot and one hand stifled a yawn while the other rubbed an eye.

"Miss Brandon?" he asked in disbelief, freezing halfway down the curved staircase.

"Yes, Judge Clearwater. I'm sorry to come to you at such a late hour, but I…I mean, _we're_ in need of your help." Alice reached up with the hand that wasn't clasped around Jasper's and fingered the primrose brooch that was pinned to the lapel of her coat.

The judge's eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of it. The sight of Alice's hand clasped tightly in that of the uniformed soldier standing at her side all but confirmed it. His mouth fell open as the pieces fell together in his mind.

"Good gravy, Harold! Haven't you sent them away yet? It's practically midnight. No one of respectable breeding would be aw—"

Susan Clearwater froze on the stairs five steps up from her husband. Her jaw slackened in such a way that Alice had to bite her cheek to suppress her grin. She hardly looked or sounded the part of the elitist she proclaimed she was.

"Miss Brandon is in need of my assistance, Susan," her husband reprimanded. "Given everything she's done for Leah and the debt of gratitude we owe her, I can hardly turn her away. Nor would I want to. It's not good _breeding,"_ he added, exaggerating the last part for effect_._

Susan seemed to need another moment to compose herself, and Jasper quickly took the opportunity to plead his case.

"Sir, I apologize for the late hour. My name is Jasper Whitlock. I've been away at war for over two years. In that time I've been shot at, bombed, stabbed, beaten, and captured and yet, through the very worst of it, the thing that kept me going was the woman who stands beside me. She is truly the light that leads me out of darkness. She is the woman who makes me whole. She's willing to have me, even with all of my faults and flaws, and I'm obliged to do my very best by her. Alice and I wish to be wed tonight. We don't want to be apart any longer. We're asking that you marry us, _tonight."_

Both Alice and Jasper waited with baited breath for the judge's response, but it was Susan Clearwater who spoke first.

"Let me take your coat, Miss Brandon," she called out as she hurried down the steps.

The staff stood in stunned disbelief as the prim lady of the house acted in their places welcoming Miss Brandon and the young soldier into her home. Susan tossed the coats onto a chaise by the entrance to the parlor and motioned for Alice to follow her lead.

"Come inside and warm yourself. Harold will just need to go up and get his Bible."

At the sound of his name, Judge Clearwater awoke from his trance. He was just as stunned as his staff to see his Missus acting this way.

"Yes, right. I'll just grab my Bible on the nightstand and join you shortly." He paused as he turned to take the first step and leaned over the railing. A huge grin spread across his face as his eyes found Alice's. "Congratulations to you, Miss Brandon. I'm so very happy for you."

"Thank you, sir," Alice beamed.

"Daddy?" a sleepy voice whispered from the top of the stairs.

Alice looked up to find Leah dressed in a pink flannel nightgown. Her hair was twisted in wraps to help hold fine curls in preparation for the trip to the dress shop her mother had planned for the morning.

"Come, Leah. We have a few visitors," her mother called stepping back into the foyer with an outstretched hand. "One I know you'll be happy to see and another I'm sure you'll be pleased to meet."

Leah was not a stupid child. She looked at her father warily, who only shrugged in response. Neither had known exactly what had gotten into the strange speech and actions of the normally abrupt woman at the bottom of the stairs.

"Go on, Leah. I'll be down in a moment."

Leah yawned widely and passed behind her father to make her way down the remainder of the staircase. As one hand held the bannister, the other passed over her sleepy eye, turning and knotting as she rubbed away the sleep. With only one or two steps to go she caught sight of the visitors her mother had mentioned. She flew down the final steps across the marble foyer and into the arms of her beloved adult friend.

"Miss Brandon, Miss Brandon, you came to see me before you left!"

Alice wrapped Leah in her arms around.

"I'm happy to see you too, Leah, although my visit tonight isn't solely for that reason. There's someone I'd like to introduce to you."

Alice turned and placed both of her hands on Leah's shoulders as she made her introductions.

"Leah, this is Private Jasper Whitlock. Jasper, this is Miss Leah Clearwater."

Jasper knelt down on one knee and bowed slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, chieftess."

Leah's eyes grew as wide as saucers. She turned her head to look up at Alice and then back to Jasper. "Is this? Is he—is he your soldier friend, Miss Brandon?"

Alice looked down on the little girl. The huge smile she was wearing lit up her eyes. Alice expected Leah to be shocked that Jasper was standing in her foyer, but what actually came out of the little girl's mouth could not have been predicted.

"But he doesn't look like a _boy_ at all," Leah said remembering Alice's description from many months ago. "He's full grown."

Startled by the way the thoughts in her head had suddenly stumbled out, Leah clasped both hands over her mouth.

"Leah!" her mother admonished.

If the poor girl could have, she would have dashed underneath her bedclothes for the remainder of the night. Instead she had to peer through her fingers to see the beautiful blond soldier stifle a chuckle.

"I'm so sorry, sir," Leah mumbled. "Please forgive my rudeness. I'm so glad you're not lost anymore."

"Me too," Jasper whispered with a wink that made Leah giggle. He lifted one of Alice's hands from Leah's shoulder and brought it to his lips. His eyes lifted from her hand as he spoke his words against her skin. "Thankfully, I'm not lost anymore. I've found my home."

Alice shook her head with a smile of embarrassment, but Susan Clearwater gushed for her. She motioned to her daughter to stand by her side while Jasper rose to his feet and took Alice's hands in his.

"You're too good to be true, Jasper Whitlock," Alice said with an embarrassed grin.

"Yeah, we'll see if you still feel the same in eighty years."

"Only eighty?" Alice laughed.

"I figured you might get tired of me by then."

"Not as long as you hold up your end of the bargain."

"And what's that?" Jasper asked. "You know, just so I can walk into this marriage prepared."

Alice shrugged. "Love me." She tapped a light finger to her glossed upper lip. "That, and promise not to leave your dirty socks on the floor."

"Just my socks? I think I can manage that."

Alice was about to slap his arm when Judge Clearwater came trudging down the steps. Jasper let out a quiet sigh in relief that his bad shoulder hadn't been exposed to her wrath.

"I'm sorry for taking so long," the judge grumbled. "It fell off the night stand and the damn thing had gotten wedged between the wall and the-"

"HAROLD!" Susan yelled. "Watch what you're saying!"

Harold looked down at the Bible in his hand, then over to his daughter whose ears had been covered by her mother.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled again. When he reached the bottom of the steps he motioned toward the parlor. "Well, are you ready to become man and wife?"

"Yes, sir," Jasper replied while Alice nodded vehemently.

The judge chuckled at the young couple's eagerness and motioned them toward the parlor. "Well, since there are no objections, let's get to the I do's."

"You mean they're going to get married?" Leah asked wide-eyed.

Susan folded her lips between her teeth, half embarrassed for her child, half smiling at the young couple's happy news.

Jasper turned to Leah and with all sincerity, asked for Alice's hand.

"I would very much like to marry Miss Alice. I promise to be good to her and do my best to make all of our days together happy. I would be most happy, Miss Leah, if you would give your consent."

Leah blinked hard, wondering why an adult would possibly be asking her for her approval, but tried to quickly compose herself. She squared her solders to face the very tall, very handsome man standing before her.

"I know Miss Alice has been soft on you for some time," she said seriously. "She's a very good teacher and an especially nice lady. You have to promise to love her always."

Alice lifted her hand to cover her mouth both proud of Leah and eagerly anticipating Jasper's reply. Leah in her innocence was every bit as forthright in her request as her own father would be.

For his part, Jasper took Leah's words to heart. "I promise, Leah. And if my pa taught me anything, it was to be a man of my word."

Leah studied his face for a moment before nodding and flashing the handsome soldier her best smile. Jasper turned from the little girl and took his bride by her hand. Together they followed Leah and the Clearwaters into the parlor.

Jasper leaned over to Alice and whispered conspiratorially. "Wow, who would have thought the biggest challenge for your hand would come from an eight year old girl?"

Alice laughed. "Wait till you meet my sister."

Judge Clearwater stood in his robe with an open copy of the good book in his hands. He motioned for Alice and Jasper to step forward but was interrupted by his wife.

"Wait. I mean, just a second, if you please. I'll be right back."

The group collectively furrowed their brows at the request, but didn't object when Susan flitted out of the room. She came back moments later with a portion of the flowers from the table in the foyer and handed them to Alice.

"No bride should be without a suitable bouquet for her wedding."

"Thank you," Alice said sincerely with a small smile.

Like Mrs. Clearwater, Alice was trying to let bygones be bygones. The bouquet was a smaller version of the one that graced Alice's dining room table. She lightly traced one of the calla lilies with her finger before pulling it from the arrangement and presenting it to Leah.

"Would you like to be my flower girl, Leah?"

Leah nodded eagerly and accepted the flower. "What do I need to do, Miss Brandon?"

"Just stand beside me and when your father asks for Jasper and me to hold hands, you hold my flowers for me."

"I can do that," Leah said with uncontained excitement.

The judge cleared his throat and began. His words were poetic, describing the lifelong commitment of marriage vows. He impressed upon the couple that marriage was the union of two souls who became one to face whatever challenges life may have to offer. He read a Bible passage that he hoped would guide the couple in their marriage. The parable described a house built upon sandy ground, only to tumble against the simplest storms. In the end it was the house built upon solid ground that could weather the heaviest storms.

"A marriage is much like the foundation of a home. When built solid and steady between two people committed to each other, the house and the marriage can withstand many of life's storms. I pray for your marriage and for a happy life between you. I hope God will bless you with many riches...children, health, and enduring love. May you be each other's best friend, their support and their port of call when facing difficult times. Above all, may your marriage be pleasing to God and a demonstration to others of the love you share today and always."

The judge turned to Jasper and asked him to repeat the marriage vows.

"Do you Jasper Allan Whitlock, take Mary Alice Brandon to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Mary Alice Brandon?" Jasper questioned, never having heard Alice's formal full name.

"Not for long," Alice whispered with a conspiratorial wink.

The judge continued while suppressing his own light chuckle, bound and determined to conduct the ceremony with the reverence it deserved.

Jasper was nervous, he stuttered a bit at first, but Alice's tears of joy helped strengthen his words.

"...I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

When it came time for Alice to speak, she squared her shoulders and spoke her vows with all of the confidence she could muster. She didn't have any doubts about taking Jasper for her husband. She wanted him to see in her eyes and hear in her words that he was the man who would forever hold her heart.

"...I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Leah proudly held Alice's flowers as the gold bands were exchanged. Alice's was a bit too big for her finger while Jasper's was a bit too small. With more than a little struggle to get the band in place, the ring was finally set. Jasper's eyes shone with happiness and it was all Alice could do to keep from jumping right into his arms. With barely suppressed anticipation, she took her flowers back from Leah and hoped to soon hear the words that would release them into each other's arms.

"What God has joined, let no man put asunder," the judge finished with a reverent bow of his head. He tried very hard to keep his lip curling into a smile as he lifted one eyebrow and cocked his head in Jasper's direction. "Congratulations, Mr. Whitlock, you may kiss your bride."

The words were not fully out of the judge's mouth when Jasper stepped forward and pulled his new wife into his embrace. Damn the pain in his shoulder, it wouldn't detract from the first sweet touch of Mrs. Alice Whitlock's lips to his. His heart thundered in his chest. Her warm body, her slim waist, her soft lips all beckoned to him. He always felt he was hers and now he reveled in the joy that _she _was finally _his_.

Quite a few whoops and hollers of joy exploded around the couple that was too engaged to notice. Both the Clearwaters and their staff beamed at the chance to share in such joy. It was only when the judge finally brought his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat that the happy bubble of their kiss was broken. Alice looked a little embarrassed, but Jasper was too overwhelmed with joy to be abashed. He wondered how his life could have changed so dramatically in such a short time. He looked heavenward and thanked whichever angels were on his side.

_Thank you for giving me the chance to show her how much I love her. I won't let you down._

aj**AJAJ**aj

The icy chill had little effect on the couple as they stepped through Alice's front door. Jasper helped her with her coat and watched in disbelief as she hung them both in the hall closet. The reality was only just starting to sink in.

_I'm a married man. I have a wife. Scratch that, I have a beautiful wife who loves me as I love her._

"Are you okay?" Alice asked a little warily as she watched Jasper's gaze turn from a stunned stare into a huge smile. When his eyes met hers she couldn't help but light up.

"I'm more than okay," he replied, taking her in his arms. "I'm truly blessed."

"You're going to ruin me with words like that, Jasper Whitlock. I'll never be able to speak sternly to you when you're in trouble. You'll just melt me with your silver tongue."

"Get used to it," he replied, whispering softly in her ear. His nose nudged beneath the raven locks and his breath danced along with his lips, upon her skin.

Alice shivered in a very good way.

Jasper's gaze moved beyond Alice's porcelain skin, and for a brief moment he caught the glimpse of her console in the corner.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

"I'd like a dance," he asked almost sheepishly. "Someday very soon, we'll have a chance to dance with family and friends looking on, but I'd like one dance with you in my arms tonight."

Alice nodded eagerly and pulled Jasper into the dining room.

"I'll be back in a second," she promised as she dashed down the basement steps. Moments later she returned with an album jacket clutched between her hands. She stepped over to a flat piece of furniture and slid back a door to reveal a phonograph. Alice smiled fondly, remembering her grandfather as she placed the record on the spinning table and lifted the needle into place. Her smile grew as she lifted her eyes to Jasper's.

She couldn't help but try to swallow down the emotions building inside of her as the first notes began to play. Her thoughts moved from the memory of her grandparents, to the happiness she knew they'd both have for her in this moment. Jasper held out his hand to her and she quickly took it in hers. But instead of swaying lightly in place, she pulled Jasper onto the old linoleum that graced the kitchen floor. It wasn't like dancing at the June fete, and it wasn't like a USO dance in an old hall outside of London. But for one happy couple, it was better than either could imagine.

With hands clasped against each other's hearts and cheeks pressed together, they turned in a circle and hummed along to their treasured tune..._"Dream a little dream of me."_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading. Here's a preview of next week's chapter._

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,_

_-FirstBlush_

Light from the lamppost below allowed Jasper to see that the snowflakes were falling harder now.

_ It's early to be snowing in November, isn't it?_

Being from Texas, he wasn't sure. He'd have to remember to ask Alice if this was their first snow of the season.

_First snow, first embrace, first dance…first night together._

He smiled a bit, but then the nerves came back again. As he moved toward the window, he spotted something on the floor, lit by the moonlight. Stooping to retrieve it, he found the light dancing off the face of the tiny button compass he'd sent to Alice all those months ago. He pinched it between his fingers and placed it in the palm of his hand. The tiny magnet spun the arrow back and forth until it settled on north, pointing him over toward the window. He followed along with his eyes until his vision rested on the pages lying on the seat. A glimmer of recognition hit him as the familiarity of the handwriting settled on him.

_My letters._

As if drawn by an unseen force, Jasper moved the final two steps until he was standing before the words he'd written so long ago. Most of the letters lay in a stack, but one was off by itself resting closest to the teacup. Curious, he lifted the pages and moved even closer to the window so he could read the words he'd once written.

_April 6, 1945_

_My Love, Miss Alice,_

_I love you…_

_… I never gave up hope for us…when I finally saw your love staring back at me, I was delirious with joy, weak with humility, and frankly, dumbfounded with pride. For what else could a man like me feel but joy, humility, and pride that the woman he loves says she loves him in return..._

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 34 At Last

**Story reference: **Alice offers to drive Jasper to a bed and breakfast in town if he was having second thoughts about getting married.

**Historical Significance:**The Bartlett Pear is a 220 year old in Easton, MD.

**Historical Significance: **The Bishop's House is a Victorian, built for Philip and Clintonia Wright May Thomas. The Honorable Philip Frances Thomas was the 28th Governor of the State of Maryland from 1848 to 1851.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bartlettpearinn(dot)com/Welcome(dot)html

http:/www(dot)bishopshouse(dot)com/

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice plays her grandparent's record "Dream a Little Dream of Me" on her grandparent's console record player. (my own grandparents had something like this)

**Historical Significance: **This type of radio was a record player as well as radio and more closely resembled a cabinet than a record player. Zenith was a popular brand of console record players.

**Source: **http:/antiqueradios(dot)com/forums/viewtopic(dot)php?p=1345481

http:/www(dot)ar15dot)com/forums/t_1_5/1176859_For_post_4000_some_cool_stuff_56K_beware_(dot)html

Image of Silvertone Model 4485 Console Radio (1937) Sporting eight tubes and a twelve-inch speaker, this was a pretty respectable radio for 1937.

**Source: **http:/antiqueradio(dot)org/art/silv0701(dot)jpg


	35. Chapter 35 Direction

******__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading._**

A/N: This one was both fun and frustrating to write. Keep in mind neither of them has any..._experience._

* * *

**Direction**

Jasper paced the small space between Alice's bed and her bureau. In the mirror he caught a glimpse of his nervous expression. At that very moment, Alice was on the other side of the bedroom wall changing into her night clothes. The thought both frightened and excited Jasper. The woman he'd only dreamt of over the last year was finally going to be in his arms, lying with him as his wife.

_My wife._

The word, so foreign, so new to his mind gave him pause each time it rolled through his mind. He had hoped…no, he'd fervently prayed that Alice's feelings for him had not diminished with his absence. He never anticipated getting married on the night of their reunion.

_Could it even be called a reunion if they'd never met?_

Jasper quickly banished that thought from his mind. Through his letters, he'd opened himself up to her. It was certain that she knew him better than anyone else. He told her his history, his dreams, his fears and his sorrows. Though it had been done over an ocean, the distance was only physical. It didn't take away how his heart had grown to know and love her.

_Thank God she feels the same._

The first moment he saw her face he knew his heart had found its home. Her beauty stunned him. Though half awake, with amber curls floating riotously around her, he could never have imagined anything more perfect. She was a beautiful angel dressed in a white night robe. Then, when the spark of recognition finally hit her face, lighting up her eyes, it was all he could do to refrain from snatching her up into his arms.

_As it was, she threw herself at me._

The pain in his shoulder when she leapt into his arms had been searing, but he pushed it aside to revel in the beauty clasped tightly in his embrace. That moment, when he felt her in his arms, would be forever etched in his memory. And now, now he nervously considered making a very different kind of memory with her.

Jasper continued to pace, wondering if he should undress or wait for Alice. Should he sit on the bed or lie beneath the covers. The uncertainty was making him nauseous. He didn't want to offend. He didn't want to presume either. So he paced a few more times before deciding he'd unbutton his shirt and slip off his shoes and socks and leave it at that.

As he pealed off the second sock he wondered if he should leave them on the floor as a joke, but he wasn't sure if she'd find it funny or frustrating so he tucked them into his shoes, deciding the first night was not the time to start a fight.

_A fight? Would it even possible to fight with her? I'd cave; she'd win. Fight over…I'd grovel for her forgiveness and hope it'd be easy to make up._

Jasper smiled, thinking of all the things he'd have to look forward to with his new wife. He couldn't wait to introduce her to his folks, his brother, and he hoped soon, to Alec. His mind began to reel as he thought not only of his folks, but also of meeting_ hers. _He began to worry about making a good impression and about how challenging it would be to keep their elopement a secret.

_Taking their daughter's hand without their presence certainly won't endear me to them. It's abhorrent to take such a gift without their blessing._

And yet he did it anyway. Jasper shook his head. For once, he allowed his selfish side to win. He wanted her…_so badly. _After the initial shock of her proposal wore off, it was all he could do to keep up the charade of thinking it over. If God were allowing him to be with this angel, he wouldn't waste time thinking about it. If the damn war had taught him anything, it was that life was too short. Alice was his piece of heaven, his comfort, and though he felt he did not deserve it, she was also his reward. Jasper sighed, though he'd survived months of hell, he could still feel the weight of lost souls hanging around his neck. He silently wondered if they'd always be with him, waiting for his mind to quiet to remind him of their presence. He thought of Jacob and Quil, Captain Call and Col. Uley, and with the presence of each man accounted for in his heavy heart, he wished he'd been better, stronger, and more capable of saving them. His head fell to his hands, but when he closed his eyes, the nightmares that had often plagued him, were replaced by a sorrowful look on Alice's face.

He was married now. He had a responsibility to be good to her, to provide for her. He took a wife to love and honor, not to have her watch him crumble and cave in on himself. He didn't want to leave her with the shell of what he once was. He'd have to manage this somehow for her. He made himself a vow to always put her first and to swallow down his own pain to make her happy. He wasn't exactly sure how he'd do that, but he was sure as hell going to try.

Jasper lifted his head from his hands and looked toward the window seat. He stood, and for the first time, noticed an empty teacup and various pages curling away from the window. It seemed as if their warmth was shying away from the cold air blowing snowflakes against the windowpane. Light from the lamppost below allowed him to see that the snowflakes were falling harder now.

_ It's early to be snowing in November, isn't it?_

Being from Texas, he wasn't sure. He'd have to remember to ask Alice if this was their first snow of the season.

_First snow, first embrace, first dance…first night together._

He smiled a bit, then the nerves came back and Jasper again began to pace. As he moved toward the window, he spotted something on the floor, lit by the moonlight. Stooping to retrieve it, he found the light dancing off the face of the tiny button compass he'd sent to Alice all those months ago. He pinched it between his fingers and placed it in the palm of his hand. The tiny magnet spun the arrow back and forth until it settled on north, pointing him over toward the window. He followed along with his eyes until his vision rested on the pages lying on the seat. A glimmer of recognition hit him as the familiarity of the handwriting settled on him.

_My letters._

As if drawn by an unseen force, Jasper moved the final two steps until he was standing before the words he'd written so long ago. Most of the letters lay in a stack, but one was off by itself resting closest to the teacup. Curious, he lifted the pages and moved even closer to the window so he could read the words he'd once written.

_April 6, 1945_

_My Love, Miss Alice,_

_I love you…_

… _I never gave up hope for us…when I finally saw your love staring back at me, I was delirious with joy, weak with humility, and frankly, dumbfounded with pride. For what else could a man like me feel but joy, humility, and pride that the woman he loves says she loves him in return... _

…_remember who you are. You are your grandmother's daughter, loved and adored by a man who will always treat you as the gift that you are. So please allow me to remind you of what you have. You have a man who cannot live without you. _

A set of delicate arms encircled Jasper from behind, causing him to startle and drop the page he was holding. Alice stooped and retrieved it for him, setting it back into his now shaking hands.

"This was my favorite," she whispered and nodded toward the page. "It made me see so much about you. You were so much braver than me. You weren't afraid of our age difference. You talked about the important things in life, like family, health, and love. You gave me a reason to stand up after Susan Clearwater tore me down. You had a future planned out for us, even when I was too afraid to hope for it."

Alice lifted a hand to lightly cup Jasper's cheek.

"You saw me. The me that I want to be. You challenged me. You gave me confidence. You were funny. You even teased me about the apple game and about my mortician suitor."

The reminder of her brief courtship with Jared allowed them both to crack a smile.

"You lit my soul on fire with your reaction to my sculptures." Alice took a steadying breath before repeating the words she'd long ago burned into her mind and her heart. "I'll tell you that my touch will be tender. My lips will be gentle. My arms will be strong around you. And my heart, my heart will definitely be skipping a beat."

"It is," he whispered as he closed the distance between them.

Jasper cradled Alice's face in his hands. His bowed his head and took her lips with his. His body, now flush against hers, burned for her touch. The words may have been his, but _she_ was the one who inspired them. Soft kisses grew stronger as he allowed his embrace to show her what he felt in his heart. He was nervous, excited, happy, but above all, he felt blessed. He wanted Alice to feel each emotion coursing through him. It was a need, a thirst to be quenched by her arms, her lips, and her touch.

"Can you feel it?" he whispered as his kiss trailed along her jawline and up to her ear. "My heart is beating so fast. There's so much I want to say. So many ways I want to show you I love you, Alice. Will you let me?"

Alice nodded. Her words were lost against frenzied thoughts and overwhelming sensations. Jasper's lips once again found hers, taking her breath and giving her back a piece of his soul. She could feel his heart pounding and only hoped her touch would inspire the same feelings he stirred in her. Her fingers lightly traced up his arms, over his shoulders and into his wavy locks. They lingered there for a moment, fingering his hair until she gave into this need building inside of her. Though they were already touching, she wanted him closer. Alice traced her fingers down his collar and over his chest until she reached the open halves of his unbuttoned shirt. She pulled him closer, wrenching him a half step closer as if she could bind herself to him. Seconds later her skin prickled as Jasper lifted her nightgown up over her head.

Alice lifted her eyes from the buttons of Jasper's shirt. She watched his Adam's apple bob and the rapid rise and fall of his chest as she smoothed her palms over the line of his chest. She went to push his shirt from his shoulders, but Jasper stilled her hands by pulling her body against his. His lips traced along the line of her jaw, down her neck and across her chest. He took another step, moving his body with hers, tilting Alice back onto her bed.

Nervous energy ran through Jasper. He didn't know where to kiss or touch first. He only knew her every touch made him feel good and he wanted to do the same for her.

Alice's nerves flared with her heartbeat as she watched Jasper crawl onto her bed. One of his hands firmly traced the supple skin of her thigh while the other moved over her abdomen, over her ribs until finally reaching her chest. Alice closed her eyes, nervous about her size being enough for him, but Jasper's words helped ease her worries.

"You're so beautiful," he said reverently.

It was the only thing he could think to say yet his words did not do her beauty justice. Jasper looked on in awe at the exquisite body laid out before him. Alice's pale skin reflected a silvery, almost ethereal, glow in the moonlight. He couldn't turn his eyes from her beautiful lines, the curve of her hip, the swell of her breast, the creamy expanse of skin beneath her chest. He had never been in the presence of a naked woman, but Alice had most definitely been worth the wait. Though he didn't deserve her, he silently vowed to spend his days trying to be worthy of her and his nights adoring her. Jasper leaned forward so that his lips could follow the path of his hand.

Alice didn't know if it was the sensations building in her body or the desire to have all of this man but whichever one it was, it gave her courage. She fought for control as her shaking hands moved to Jasper's waist. His stomach pulled back against his ribs as her fingertips traced the expanse of skin above his belt. His body froze above her, eyes closed, chest pulling in rapid breaths as Alice released his belt from his pants and brazenly pulled the tab down the teeth of his zipper.

Jasper's mumble was incoherent to Alice's ears, but in his mind he was praying for control. This was not the performance he'd been hoping for on his wedding night. He quickly realized he had to stop her. He'd have to be the one to remove his briefs. If she'd touched him, the event he dreamt of for months would be over before it even began.

Jasper rolled onto his back and began taking steadying breaths for control.

"Are you okay?" he heard Alice ask worriedly.

"I'm fine," he croaked, as his fingers fumbled with the buttons on his briefs. Jasper's voice was two octaves higher than normal.

Alice couldn't help it; she cracked a smile and tried very hard to stifle her snigger at the sound of his voice. To Alice's ears, he sounded much like a thirteen year old boy, his voice cracking with pubescence. Not unlike little Leah earlier in the evening, Alice clasped her hand over her mouth. She quickly shut her eyes, unwilling to look Jasper in the eye after her childish display.

Jasper had only just freed himself from the confines of his briefs in time to hear Alice's chortle. If performance anxiety hadn't already been worrying his mind, the reveal of his manhood to his bride's suppressed chuckle sure as hell did. Suddenly a premature performance seemed very unlikely. The sound of Alice's chuckle had taken care of that.

"I'm so sorry. This isn't the time to laugh," Alice breathed. "It's just that I'm nervous. It would be easier for me if I knew you were too."

Somehow Jasper found the courage to look up at his wife, who was now kneeling beside him. Her eyes were shut tight. Jasper breathed a sigh of relief with the understanding that she hadn't been laughing at his…_gearstick_.

Alice, who was still chastising herself for her nerves, slowly ventured to crack one eye open. There was her bridegroom, grinning back up at her.

"Alice," he sighed, lifting his left hand to cup her cheek. "I'm more nervous than you can imagine, but we don't have to—"

"I want to." She nodded vigorously, turning her head to kiss the palm of his hand. The motion brought her eyes down to glance at the new expanse of his skin that was now exposed.

_Her eyes are as wide as saucers. _Jasper smiled proudly to himself. _Anxiety be damned. _

Jasper allowed himself to gloat for just a moment before he spoke.

"I want to as well," he joked with a sweep of his hand. His eagerness seemed rather _obvious_.

That made Alice laugh a little and it did Jasper's heart good to see her relax a bit.

"We'll go slowly," he promised.

He lifted one of her hands from her lap and placed it over his heart. He had yet to remove his shirt and hoped Alice wouldn't press that. He wanted to her love, not her pity over his injury.

Jasper thought it would be best to give Alice control of how and when. He could see she was nervous. Hell, so was he, but he also saw something else sparkle in Alice's eyes. He though it was a hint of mischief mixed with determination, and he liked what he saw.

"I'm obviously ready whenever you are," he teased again, trying to relax them both.

The wicked gleam Alice saw in her young husband's eyes gave her the confidence she needed to make the first move. She moved her lips to the slip of skin peaking out from between the unbutton halves of Jasper's shirt. The sensuous trail elicited a gasp of breath from him bolstering Alice despite her nerves. With a slightly trembling hand, Alice moved lower to touch her husband, taking them both by surprise. She watched as his eyes closed and his body bowed into her touch. She felt a sense of pride that she could do this for him. More than anything else, she felt a thrill of excitement not only at his touch, but his laugh, his smile, his embrace. She had finally found what she'd been waiting for, she found her spark and he had most certainly been worth the wait.

Together their nerves gave way to something new as they took turns exploring. Each new expanse of skin gave them another chance to bring pleasure. Their movements were awkward at first, but their lust mingled with their love for each other overcame injury and inexperience. Nothing was overlooked, and nothing was rushed in the excitement of learning what pleased each other. For once, Alice and Jasper had all the time in the world.

aj**AJAJ**aj

Alice's head was pillowed on Jasper's stomach. She felt his hand tracing light circles over her bare shoulder. Alice's eyes drifted to her nightgown puddled on the floor beside her bed.

"I'm sorry I didn't have something more appropriate for a wedding night," she mused. "I didn't have time to find my trousseau. It was already packed away."

Jasper halted his tracing fingertips.

"You have one? Really?" he asked a second time as his eyes darted excitedly to the boxes surrounding the bed.

"No, silly," Alice teased. "It would have been a little presumptuous to have one on hand before you'd even asked for mine."

Jasper shrugged his good shoulder.

"I wouldn't think so. So long as it was for me and not for any of your other suitors."

Alice laughed.

"Only you. Believe me."

Alice lifted up on her side and began crawling over top of Jasper, allowing her body to trace his form. Her lips moved sensuously, taking the time to enjoy the feel of the line of his jaw, his throat and his broad chest. She paused over Jasper's heart and breathed the words _I love you _against this skin.

Alice's lower lip dragged along the chain around his neck, following the length as it ran back up toward his neck. Her fingers brushed away the loose edge of his shirt so she could kiss along his collar and uncover the skin of one of his muscular shoulders. She silently scolded herself for leaving this stone unturned during their lovemaking.

As Jasper's shirt moved aside, Alice froze, loosing her breath. There, lit by the moonlight, was an angry scar. The skin was pink and puckered against a jagged line gouged into Jasper's otherwise flawless skin. The muscle seemed both atrophied and somewhat misshapen between his shoulder and chest. The thought of what had inflicted this barely healed wound brought tears to Alice's eyes.

"My God, Jasper, what happened?"

Jasper threaded his good hand through Alice's waves and brushed his thumb over her cheek. He gave her a small smile, hoping it would comfort her and soften the sight of his wound.

"I got this the night my enemy became my friend and saved my life. I was injured in the process, but had it not been for this wound, I may not have come home to you."

His thumb again traced her cheek, only this time he worked to erase the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"It's okay, Alice, don't cry. It gets a little better every day. They're not really sure if I'll ever have the full use of my arm, but doctors don't know everything. A few months on the farm and the comfort of a good woman will put me back into shape."

Alice shook her head at his attempt to lighten the subject.

"We're going to have to tie you to your saddle if you can't hold onto the reins with both hands," she teased.

Jasper smiled at the thought of her roping him into place on his saddle.

"You seemed to have picked up a lot for a girl who's never been on a horse before."

"Reading is no substitute for firsthand experience, but I'll do my best to get you into shape and back in your saddle again."

Whether Alice had realized it or not, her play on words had sent Jasper's mind in a completely different direction.

"I look forward to it, Mrs. Whitlock," he teased, but Alice didn't reply. She was too busy worrying over his shoulder, tracing the line of it with a feather light touch.

"Are you okay?" he worried, brushing his fingers up and down the exposed skin along Alice's back.

Alice nodded and resumed her place against Jasper's good side. Her body curved around his, taking in the warmth of his skin and the comfort of his arms. Their coupling had hurt at first, but now, held securely in his embrace, she couldn't imagine being any happier.

"I'm okay," she acknowledged. "Truthfully, I'm much better than okay now. Allow me to remind you of what you have," Alice quoted. "You have a woman who cannot live without you."

Jasper's lips fell to the top of Alice's head. His eyes shut against the memory of her letters being burned before his eyes.

"I wish…" he choked. "I wish I still had yours. They're all gone. They were taken from me and turned into ash. You don't know how much I wish I could have that piece of our beginning back."

Alice traced her hand over his chest to comfort him.

"You may not have our beginning, but you have our now. If I had to choose, the letters wouldn't have a prayer."

Jasper nodded his head at the truth in her words.

"You're right. Having even just a single moment to look in your eyes and feel your touch is worth even losing those letters."

Jasper lifted one of Alice's hands, kissed it gently, and set it against his heart.

"They're not really gone, I suppose. I'll always have a part of them in here."

A tear rolled down one of Alice's cheeks. She understood the honesty of his words because she felt the same. If his letters were suddenly gone, his words would always have a home in her heart. A moment later a memory flashed behind her eyes. Alice sat up and quickly kissed Jasper's lips. She rolled out of his arms and off the bed. Jasper was about to question her hasty departure when Alice answered his look of surprise.

"I have something for you."

She quickly moved across the room and opened the creaky drawer to her desk. Like so much earlier that evening, the drawer was reluctant to give up its final treasure. Alice eased it out along the sticking slide and plucked the last of its contents. She crawled up onto the bed and held a single envelope in the palms of her hands, presenting it to Jasper as an opportunity to recover a small portion of their past.

Jasper picked up the mottled envelope and immediately recognized his name written in Alice's fine script. His breath quickly caught as his eyes moved to the words stamped across it.

REPORTED KILLED.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorr—"

Alice silenced him with her lips, not wanting his sorrow tonight. Her letter had finally reached the hands of its rightful owner and there was absolutely nothing to be sorry about for that. Her lips moved to his cheek and his forehead before she stopped and wrapped her arms around him.

"It's all right, Jasper. At least it is now that you can hold this in your hands. Besides, if this one had made it to you, it would have been burned as well. There's one more that I wrote after you announced you were leaving for Berlin, but it hasn't been returned to me yet. I don't know if it ever will."

"Then I'll treasure this one even more."

Alice moved the pillows up against the headboard and rested her back against them. She beckoned Jasper to follow her.

"Why don't you open it?"

Jasper nodded and turned to lie between Alice's legs; his back rested against her front. He lifted a shaking hand and edged his finger between the seal prying the contents from the envelope sealed months ago. It had traveled an ocean, twice over, to rest beneath his fingertips. How lucky could he have been to see it survive and return to him? The similarity to his own survival was almost ironic. He rubbed a hand through his messy locks, cleared his throat and began to read.

"June 14, 1945. Dear Jasper, I should feel ashamed of myself for putting you through a heart stopping moment with my last letter, but I can't in all honesty say I feel very remorseful. That would put my soul in jeopardy as I'd never pass through the confessional doors with absolution. Instead, I'll just smile demurely, my love, and remind you that this "ol' girl" thought you had it coming."

A broad grin covered both of their faces as Jasper read the words aloud.

"I had it coming, huh?"

"Absolutely," Alice teased. "You already knew I was sensitive about our age difference. It was like throwing salt on an open wound. You're lucky that little prank was all I did."

Jasper turned and offered his apology, although it was a little tongue in cheek.

"Duly noted, Mrs. Whitlock, and I'm sorry," he said with a pout of his lips looking for a kiss. "Please forgive me."

Alice rolled her eyes at his mild sarcasm but acquiesced in giving him his kiss. She pushed playfully on the back of his head forcing him to return to his letter.

Once Jasper returned to reading, Alice began running her fingers through his hair and along his scalp. Jasper moaned at the sensation.

"Go on," she droned in a monotone voice, but she couldn't hide the playful smile on her lips.

Jasper huskily cleared his throat and resumed his letter.

"You, my Jasper, are cockier than a strutting peacock." Alice and Jasper both sniggered at her description. "You'd do best to remember that my sister is very much taken already. Trust me on this; I held her train as she walked down the aisle. Her wandering eyes hold appreciation over your photograph, but nothing more. Only one Brandon sister seeks your affections and that one is beginning to wonder if your over inflated ego would ever fit through her front door. Luckily for you, your flattery softens my ire over your smug attempts to fan the flames of my jealousy. Perhaps I'll grease the door frame with lard before your arrival to help ease your gigantic opinion of yourself through my doorway."

"I take offense to this!" Jasper said trying to keep a straight face. "As I recall, I had no problem easing my ego through your doorway either time I entered it tonight. Why can't you just admit you were jealous of her admiration of my photograph?"

"I'll admit nothing of the sort."

"Mmhmm. I can't wait to see how much her eyes wander when I get to meet her for the first time."

Alice's eyes grew very wide indeed.

"You wouldn't dare! Just remember, Mr. Whitlock, that Cindy is now your little sister as well and beguiling her with your good looks and clever smile will earn you no favors with your new Mrs."

"Fine, admit you were jealous."

"Fine. A little." Jasper quirked an eyebrow in response. He was trying his damn best to get Alice's goat. "Oh, fine, a lot. But don't let it all go to your head. I don't have any lard in the house."

Jasper lifted his good arm and brought Alice's lips down for a searing kiss. He tried very hard to return to her letter but her lips were proving hard to release. Finally, with one last brush, he blew out a heavy breath and returned to her words.

"Now what can I possibly say to your desire not to come in second to Collin on the list of men who hold my mother's affections? You are quite competitive, are you not? I must admit, my hopeless romantic, that making me happy for the rest of my days will certainly secure your place on my mother's top spot, and mine as well.

Alice smiled and pressed her lips to the top of his head, reading her letter was even more enjoyable than she could have imagined.

"I'd like to ease your mind a bit and tell you that my new self-defense classes are coming along swimmingly. Although I feel as though I should tell you that it is Bella, not Edward, who is my tutor."

"Did you really do this?" Jasper teased questioningly.

"Yup, wait till you read the rest. You won't be teasing me for long."

Jasper chortled and returned to her letter. His voice now sounded more like a news reporter's, formal and stiff. Alice laughed at his attempt to impersonate Mr. Murrow.

"Under her guidance I now possess the ability to break a man's nose with one quick thrust," Jasper gulped before resuming his normal voice. "Be forewarned, love…that the decadent peach pie you described from your mother is now mine. Consider it recompense for this frustrating form of communication we must hold over an entire ocean. If you're lucky, I will share a small piece with you. If not, well, let's just hope your nose sets properly. All kidding at your expense aside, my love, I'm glad to know our future will not only be filled with love but with happiness, laughter, and playful banter as well."

Jasper ran his free hand over the exposed skin of her leg.

"That it will, sweetheart," he agreed happily. "It most certainly will."

Jasper cleared his throat and continued on.

"School is winding down for the year and my little fledglings are ready to leave the nest. It's a little sad but also quite satisfying at the same time. I'm looking forward to the long summer days and the opportunity to spruce up around the house before new fledglings come to settle in next fall. Oh, I can pass along some good news: Brady has been successful enough in his arithmetic to earn a seat in third grade next school year. I've congratulated him many times over and asked if there was anything special he'd like to do to celebrate his solid B+ average. He looked at me with beautiful, soulful eyes and asked if he could meet the real live soldier who gave me the compass in my jar. It seems as though you have a young fan, Jasper. I smiled at Brady and told him that I'd see what I could do once you return home."

Alice pulled in a heavy breath.

"I stopped teaching."

"You did? Because of me?"

Alice nodded with her head over top of Jasper's.

"I just wasn't myself after hearing the news. I'd kind of lost who I was for a while. I wouldn't have been a good teacher for them. I was a mess. I'd just gotten this letter back in the mail and broke down. My mother suggested I take a semester off to get better, but in some ways it was worse."

"Alice, I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted you to hurt like that. Not ever."

Her hand traced his beautiful face and sorrowful eyes.

"Is it any worse than what you went through to get home to me?"

The light faded behind his eyes as memories trickled through him.

"Of course it wasn't. But that's why we're here, to share the happiness and the sorrows with each other. You'll help me and I will do the same for you. I will be your shoulder to lean on when the memories come back. Nothing will be too hard to overcome so long as we face it together."

Jasper kissed Alice hard and realized that his plans of being strong for her weren't enough. He didn't always have to be strong. He had to be open and honest as she just asked. Somewhere up in heaven a guardian angel was smiling down at her own fledgling coming of age.

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that."

"Probably about as much as I needed you to accept it," she replied, brushing a length of hair that had fallen in his eyes.

He rolled to his back contentedly and picked up where he'd left off.

"As for your remarks of fighting valiantly to secure my photograph, just know that Perseus holds not one candle to you in my eyes. Like any romantic, I melt a little at the idea of you battling in my honor, but be assured that no one could sweep me away from you. Haven't we proven that to each other time and time again? I am yours, Jasper. Smile and sleep well each night knowing that I dream of seeing your smile and feeling only your warm embrace."

Jasper picked up one of Alice's hands from around his neck and brought it to his lips for a kiss.

"Every night from this night forward," he promised.

"Unfortunately, your request asking me not to worry has fallen on deaf ears. How is it possible for me not to wonder and worry for your safety? As for your footlocker and where it will land next, I'd most prefer it to rest soundly on U.S. soil. At the same time, I begrudgingly acknowledge that the job of our soldiers is not yet complete, so I'll put my faith in God and in you that you'll land safely wherever you are needed. I too take comfort in the knowledge that the amount of time remaining that separates us is shorter than the time that has already passed between us."

"Just barely," Alice said sadly.

"At least I made it before Thanksgiving," he teased, hoping to lighten her mood.

"True, but I'd rather call you late for dinner than the late Jasper Whitlock ever again."

Jasper laughed at her pun. "I am a blessed man. We are going to have a very happy life together, Miss Alice."

"Not anymore."

"Right." He grinned, kissing the gold band that spun loosely on her ring finger.

He happily settled back into her embrace to finish the last lines of her letter.

"In closing," he read softly. "I want you to know, that you don't have to wait to earn my hand, Jasper. Your letters captured my heart long ago. Where my heart goes, my hand will follow. I love you. Be safe and come home to me. Yours always, Alice."

Jasper turned in her arms and pulled at the back of her neck taking her soft lips with his. He couldn't seem to get enough of the warmth of her touch. She was like fresh air to his long submerged lungs. When they finally broke apart, he carefully moved them both so that he was lying on his back with Alice kneeling over top of him. He lifted their entwined hands and rested them over his heart.

"I'm home."

Alice's words had spoken volumes. Even months ago she had offered her heart to him, ready to become his wife. Now, with their future spread out before them, he was truly home in her arms.

aj**AJAJ**aj

Jasper hoped for a peaceful night in Alice's bed, surrounded by her arms, but it wasn't. Worries swirled through his mind, like the set of angry bees he'd felt before he woke in that London hospital. He was agitated. He worried for Demetri. He grieved the loss of the Pathfinders. Mostly he hoped that what he'd told Alice was true, that in a few months his shoulder would be as good as new. He worried about what kind of rancher and husband he would be with a lame arm.

His shoulder flared again in pain. He'd done more with it in the last twenty-four hours than he had in months, and at the moment he was paying the price. Unable to sleep any longer, he quietly rolled out of bed and found his trousers on the floor. He groaned as he pulled them into place, unable to stifle the pain as he worked the button and simple zipper. With one last kiss to the Alice's cheek he made his way downstairs in search of some relief.

His duffel was right where he'd dropped it, on the porch, just outside of Alice's front door. Jasper shivered against the cold, seeing the result of the snowflakes that had fallen through the night. It wasn't a heavy snow; not much more than a dusting had stuck to the driveway and Jasper breathed a sigh of relief at not having to shovel it clean in order to move her car. He'd have to ask Alice if it could make the nearly two thousand mile trip to Texas.

The thought of that trip, reminded him of his promise to call his parents. Jasper dragged his bag through the door and shut out the cold on the other side. It was light out, probably about six or seven in the morning and his parents would have been up by this hour at home. He wracked his brain trying to clear the cobwebs and remember the time difference between Maryland and Texas.

_No matter, they'll be up._

The first order of business was pain relief. Jasper knelt beside his bag and ruffled around until he found the bottle of medication he desperately needed. He downed two tablets without water, hoping to put out the fire running down his arm. With a heavy breath he sat back on his haunches and tried to figure out the day. Once again, reality set down upon him, but for the first morning in months, it did not set with fear. Happiness that had settled deep into his bones as he thought of the life spread out ahead of him.

_Alice loves me. We're married._

Once again struck dumb by that fact, he couldn't begin to wipe the grin from his face. Pain or not, he'd be damned if he'd ruin his first morning with her. He didn't have a ring for her, or a proper home, but at minimum he could bring her breakfast in bed.

Jasper padded through the living room but halted at the sight of the telephone table.

_First things first,_ he thought to himself, hoping his bride would stay asleep a little longer.

Jasper's parents were still in a state of shock, but his mother welcomed his voice with a fresh round of sniffles. After about twenty minutes of re-establishing the state of his health and how he came to land in Maryland, his mother asked a question Jasper had trouble answering truthfully. He bit the inside of his cheek hoping his mother couldn't see the green dot on his nose as he stretched the truth from Maryland to Texas.

"I'll see Alice in a little while, Ma. I need to rustle up some breakfast first."

_As in a very little while, like in ten minutes when I go and awaken my bride._

_"Are you eating well?" she worried._

"I'll be fine, Ma, but I'm sure you'll have plenty for me to eat once I get home."

"_I will. We'll have pies and sweetbread, anything you want."_

Jasper finished the conversation, promising them to call again in the morning. The call ended with the expectation that they'd be on their way to Texas in a day or two.

_Home._

The night before Jasper's heart could not have grown any more full and complete when Alice said she'd follow him home. The image of a home overlooking the ridge where the sunset kissed the horizon each afternoon seemed closer than he ever imagined. He couldn't wait to take her riding and give her their first afternoon sunset together. He'd have his ma help him pack a picnic and would spoil Alice, feeding her as she laid her head in his lap. The images Jasper conjured in his mind filled him with a surging desire to return to his wife, _with breakfast._

Jasper strolled into the kitchen, noting how it had been later than he'd first thought. The clock above the stove read shortly after eight. Though it seemed late and a lazy way to spend a Saturday morning, in reality neither he nor Alice had managed much sleep last night. The thought brought on another sleepy grin. The kitchen was clean and tidy. In fact, more than tidy, it was sparse. Jasper thought coffee was the first order of business and moved through the cabinets in search of her coffee pot. He was just about to give up hope when he salvation was discovered beneath the sink. Little did Jasper know that finding it would be the easy part. He then spent the next several minutes trying to decipher what piece went where because as he pried the lid from the pot, the contents flew every which way giving him no idea how to reassemble them properly.

_It certainly can't be any harder than cleaning and assembling my rifle._

Jasper smiled at the lame joke he'd once written saying that the only opportunity for him to use his gray matter beyond writing to her was the cleaning and assembly of his weapon.

Jasper sighed. Although the coffee was less of a challenge to find, he had no idea how much to put in the basket. Three scoops just hardly seemed like enough, so ignoring the directions on the back of the Maxwell House can, Jasper dumped the better part of the contents into the basket and set it on the stove.

Alice was certainly right when she'd mentioned she wasn't planning on having any guests last night. Her refrigerator was practically bare. Jasper frowned, staring blankly at its nearly empty contents. The glow from the bright white filament burned into his eyes, causing him to see the jagged line whenever he blinked. Jasper was about to give up, realizing that relish and mayonnaise weren't suitable for breakfast when he spied a carton of eggs in the refrigerator door. For the second time that morning, he saw salvation through sustenance. Jasper couldn't find a skillet so fried eggs were out. The best he could manage was a single pot. With his stomach growing angrier by the moment, he opened the tap to allow the water to heat, thinking hot water would boil faster than cold would. Jasper again stuck his head into the fridge, hoping he'd somehow missed some bread for toast and jelly, but he had not. He scratched his head and then the scruff of his jaw when inspiration struck. Alice had pulled slices of cake from her freezer last night. Maybe she had extra bread in there too so it wouldn't spoil. With the pot in his left hand Jasper opened the freezer door and began digging around, lifting various items wrapped in waxed paper and examining them in hopes of finding some bread.

Suddenly the freezer door slammed against his head, causing Jasper to cry out in pain and drop the pot that had been in his hand. Bewildered and dazed he took a step back, covering his head and clutching his ear protectively. He looked down only to find a woman's shoes standing not three feet from him.

"Who are you? Where's Alice?" the voice commanded.

Jasper, snapped upright, hitting his head against the open freezer door.

"Ow, goddammit!" he cried again.

"Bella?" a voice called from a few rooms away near the front of the house.

When Jasper heard that name, he stood up straight to face his attacker. There before him was Bella Masen, wielding an ominous looking baseball bat in both hands.

"Oh my God," she cried, dropping the bat and covering her mouth with one of her hands.

"BELLA!" the voice called out again as heavy footsteps echoed in rapid pace through the house.

Before Jasper even had the clarity of mind to answer Bella, Edward was streaming toward them, ready to take on anything that would cause his wife that kind of fear. He caught Bella by the arm as she stumbled backward and away from the ghost before her.

"Jasper," Edward breathed in disbelief. He suddenly felt he didn't have the legs to hold himself up let alone both his weight and that of his wife.

Jasper nodded slowly, lowering his hand from his throbbing ear. He barely had the presence of mind to shut the freezer door when Bella rushed him, throwing her thin arms around his waist.

Jasper suddenly realized his state of undress. He was barefoot and shirtless in Alice's kitchen in an early morning hour. This certainly would not look good or be easy to explain if they wanted to keep their marriage under wraps. Jasper hugged Bella back and looked into Edward's wide eyes while wracking his brain for a plausible answer for his state of undress.

"You're alive," Bella cried. "Alice…Oh God, Alice—"

Before Bella could finish that thought, a high pitched scream came from upstairs followed by a desperate moan.

"No, no, no, no, no!"

It was Alice's voice, so wracked with anguish that it nearly broke Jasper in two. He didn't have time to think. He broke from Bella's embrace and tore up the stairs in a frantic search for his wife.

* * *

_A/N: There's a picture for this chapter. (Ashley is so pretty) You can find it here: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0001z7ar_

_Three more chapters and and epilouge to go._

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,_

_-FirstBlush_

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**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 35 Direction

**Story reference: **Jasper see's the snowfall the morning after his marriage to Alice and wonders if it's the first snowfall of the year. He can't remember seeing snow in Nickel Creek.

**Source: **Weather and recorded annual snowfalls in Texas: http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Climate_of_Texas

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper reads part of Alice's lost letter in the formal voice of a news reporter mimicking Edward R. Murrow.

**Historical Significance: **Edward R. Murrow lined up CBS correspondents in several European cities. CBS initiated the evening news round-up, tuning in successive correspondents live via short wave radio during the newscast. The daily developments were heard instantaneously across America.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)radioscribe(dot)com/formats(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper fumbles his way through making coffee and assembling Alice's stovetop percolator.

**Historical Significance: **Classic Farberware stovetop coffee pot. And before you laugh at me, yes I had a hard time trying to figure out how to clean and re-assemble my mother's. (although hers was an electric model from the 1970's)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)amazon(dot)com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/B00005NCWQ/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_1?ie=UTF8&index=1


	36. Chapter 36 Reassurance

******__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading. U2Shay, thank you for talking me through all of the changes on this one._**

* * *

**Reassurance**

"You're okay. You're okay," Jasper soothed, running his hand over Alice's hair as she sobbed. "I'm here, sweetheart. It wasn't a dream. I'm here."

Alice clung to Jasper with all her might, trying desperately to push down the haunting fear that last night had all been a cruel figment of her imagination. She drew in heavy breaths, allowing both Jasper's scent and the warmth of his embrace to calm her as he gently rocked her in his arms. Not since she had been a small child had she felt so safe and warm. That realization allowed the terror of moments earlier to slowly recede.

"You weren't here." She shuddered. "My ring was gone. I thought..."

"But I _am_ here," he murmured then pressed his lips against her temple.

Jasper released Alice and pulled back the sheets. When he didn't immediately find what he was after, he lifted Alice's pillow and smiled in relief. Alice watched the amused smile spread across Jasper's face as he twirled her tiny ring on the tip of his middle finger.

"It's all here. It's real, Alice." He leaned forward and kissed her soundly as if to convince her of his sudden materialization in her bedroom.

Alice shuddered again. The chill running down her spine was not from the cold, but from the very warm feeling of Jasper's bare chest flush against hers.

"As much as I'd like our honeymoon to continue, we have guests downstairs."

Alice panicked, thinking her parents were pacing the living room.

"Edward and Bella are here," he clarified as he brushed the hair back from her face. "But it's probably best if we were both dressed before we head back downstairs."

Alice nodded and climbed out of bed to pick an outfit from what had remained unpacked. Jasper bent down to retrieve his shirt from the floor at the edge of the bed. The action caused his wedding band to flash against the light from the window. He sighed and turned to see Alice in her state of undress and forgot what he had intended to say.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he asked.

"Yes." She smiled.

"Have I told you how lucky I am?"

Alice laughed this time. "Yes, more than once."

Jasper came up to her and turned her in his arms, running his hands over her shoulders.

"Good. I'll keep reminding you until your fears fade away."

Once more the eagerness of their kiss was broken by a reminder of the couple downstairs. This time it was a baby's cry that broke them of their reverie. The collapse of their bubble reminded Jasper of his earlier thought.

"We should probably take off our wedding rings," he said with a frown.

Alice laughed at the face he was making but was thrilled that he'd already grown attached to the symbol of their commitment. Jasper went to lift the ball and chain necklace from his neck when a stabbing pain in his arm halted the movement. He wasn't able to hide the grimace of pain that crossed his face.

Alice was instantly there to aid him. She lifted the necklace and pressed her lips to his scar.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore," he admitted. "I took some of the meds they gave me in London. Alice," he said in all seriousness. "I have something to confess…I make _terrible_ coffee. I'm not sure your percolator survived the morning."

Alice laughed again, but recognized Jasper's attempt to deflect the topic from his injury. She lifted her hand and rubbed soft circles into his injured muscle. It hurt at first, but after a few moments Jasper melted into her side.

"Thank you," he said with a breathy exhale.

"Anytime." Alice grinned.

She'd take any and every opportunity not only to comfort Jasper but to also have her hands on him. Jasper saw Alice's smile for what it was and kissed her softly just below the ear in return.

"I look forward to it, Mrs. Whitlock, but for now," he held up her left hand and kissed the gold band that hung loosely from her finger, "this needs to be tucked away. Unless you want to announce our marriage to anyone who walks through your door."

Alice shook her head no and gave Jasper the chain holding his dog tag. He tugged a bit until the band gave way and strung his wedding band on the chain. Alice found the second tag she'd worn for the last four months on the bedside table and followed suit.

"I guess if I can't wear it on my finger it will be good to have it close to my heart."

Jasper nodded, and after a few more minutes to freshen up, the pair walked hand in hand toward the stairs. As soon as the banister creaked, Bella was up off the couch and making her way as quickly as she could toward Alice. Bella was still more than a little unsteady on her feet, but it didn't stop her from throwing herself at Alice. Alice both laughed and cried feeling every bit of Bella's joy over her newfound happiness. She was wrapped so tightly in Bella's embrace that she could hardly breathe through her falling tears.

"I'm so happy for you." Bella sobbed.

For once Alice was able to hold her friend and share tears of joy and not sorrow over the man standing on the stairs behind them. After releasing Alice, a grinning Bella made her way to Jasper and lifted her hands to his face. Jasper smiled right back at her. Bella shook her head, allowing another sob to escape before reaching up to encircle him in her arms.

"I don't know how, I don't know why, but I thank God all the same," she cried.

"You're not the only one," Jasper teased.

He could feel Bella shake her head at his awful joke. Her arms tightened around his neck.

"I'm so happy for you…for _her_." Bella sobbed into his chest. "Jasper, please don't hurt her. I'd hate to have to kill you after everything it took to get you home."

"Bella, I would _never_—"

But Bella didn't allow him to finish his sentence. She released him and playfully tugged at the collar of his wrinkled uniform.

"Nice shirt, _and shoes,_" she quietly teased while wiping away her tears.

Jasper got the message, Bella was teasing him, but she wanted to know his intentions toward Alice given his state of undress earlier.

"Bella, I know how it looks, but I swear I would _never_ take advantage of her."

Bella nodded, a smirk was playing on her lips as more tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled him into another fierce hug, too overwhelmed by his presence for words.

"Just make her happy," Bella sobbed after another long breath. "She deserves it. You both do."

"I swear, Bella, I'm going to make her smile every day of our life together."

Bella shook her head.

"I know your penchant for adventure, Mr. Whitlock. Just be sure it's a very _long _life together."

Jasper looked over Bella's shoulder and met Alice's eyes as he spoke.

"The only adventure I'm looking for is the one she and I make together."

At the bottom of the steps, Alice smiled brightly through her tears. She was clinging to Edward's side. She looked from Jasper to Edward and watched Edward's stunned face morph into joy.

"When? How?" Edward asked disbelievingly. His eyes never left his wife as she hugged Jasper.

"Just last night," Alice answered.

"I know I'm staring right at him," Edward said in awe, "but I can hardly believe it. It seems impossible." Edward slowly shook his head. "I'll take whatever miracle God worked to bring my friend, my _brother_ home."

Alice smiled into Edward's chest as she felt him place a kiss on top of her head.

"Delivering that letter to his folks was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Watching their pain and yours destroyed me, but now it feels as if an unbearable weight has been lifted from my chest."

Alice nodded. Her arms encircled his waist and she felt him exhale a full breath. She understood what he was feeling. It was as if her lungs had finally remembered how breathe the moment she fell into Jasper's embrace.

"With all due respect, quit hogging my wife," Jasper teased when he saw the emotions becoming too much for Edward. Bella finally released Jasper with a stunned look upon her face. Jasper just grinned at her. "I _told_ you it wasn't how it appeared."

Alice rolled her eyes, but with her sniffle it had less of the effect she'd intended.

"So much for keeping it to ourselves."

Alice released Edward who flew up the stairs to Jasper. With a hearty embrace they acknowledged what simple words seemed incapable to express. Alice's eyes dripped with happiness as she watched the two men shed unabashed tears. She thought it fitting to see them embracing upon the staircase. Much like their own lives, both men had been caught between floors for far too long. Not exactly living, yet not on level footing either.

When Edward finally released his friend, his eyes were red and swollen. His voice cracked as he tried to hide his emotions behind a joke.

"Wait till the meanest SOB in ETOUSA finds out they sent you home."

Jasper's eyes widened, until he saw the mirth in Edward's expression. Little did either man know that was exactly what was about to occur.

aj**AJAJ**aj

Cy's whistle was especially bright this morning. The cold November chill did little to dampen his spirits. In a few short hours his route would take him to the old Brandon house where he'd lay his eyes on the best sight he'd been able to consider in months, a _very_ happy Miss Mary Alice Brandon. His pack seemed lighter and his step followed suit as he made his way from house to house. Not even the slippery steps coated by a fresh coat of winter could dampen his spirits. He was on his long trek up Presquile Road when a sharp, barking tone brought him out of his reverie. There, hunched over a whiskbroom, was Colonel Swan. In Cy's humble opinion, the man had returned from war with even more of a surly attitude than before he left. Cy would have thought him to be a bit happier.

_We won after all._

Charlie Swan knew first hand what Cy did not. That victory had come at a very hefty price. The two men could not be less alike if they tried. The colonel was off putting and seemingly gruff while Cy was cheerful and nearly everyone's friend. Cy straightened his back and squared his shoulders as he finished the march up the drive whistling all the while. Not even the colonel's normally dour mood could bring Cy off his cloud today.

"What's got you extra chipper?" Charlie groused as he accepted his mail.

With one arm wrapped around his broom, he sifted through his letters. A rare glimpse of a smile crossed the old war bird's features. Charlie looked up from his letters half amused, half questioning why it was taking Cy so long to reply. Cy, for what it was worth, was trying to build anticipation.

"Oh, I'm just eager to get over to Miss Brandon's and drop off her mail," Cy began.

Charlie's smile fell, realizing it was Alice's last day in Easton. He had plans to go over after lunch to see his grandbabies and wish Alice well. He knew he'd see her often while she lived with Bella, but he also knew the deeper reason for her move and that knowledge left him lugging around a heavy load of remorse.

"You're eager to see her _go_?" Charlie questioned rather sharply.

He'd look after Alice like she was his own and didn't take kindly to anyone who'd think to hurt her.

"No, no," Cy backtracked.

He could tell the colonel was baited on the hook. He just needed to reel him in. Cy wasn't for town gossip but was busting at the seams to have others share in Alice's good news. He knew the colonel would be just as happy for Alice as he was. The colonel's daughter Bella had been practically raised by the Brandons after he left for the war.

"I'm happy her soldier friend came home last night," Cy began. He waited for the surly colonel to lift his eyes from his mail.

For a brief moment Charlie considered Edward, but Edward had been out of uniform for nearly a year. Confusion coated his expression until Cy got him out of the water and into the boat.

"Saw the boy at the bus depot last night myself. Handsome fella, that Whitlock. 'Bout time Miss—"

"Wait, did you say Whitlock? Are you _goddamned_ sure, Cy?"

It was almost too much to hope for, but Cy's wide grin and slow nod made Charlie finally smile in return. Charlie ran up the steps without another word and began shoving papers around his desk in search of his car keys. Cy chuckled as he turned and made his way back down the drive. The last thing he heard was a frustrated bark from the colonel's mouth.

"Goddamnit. Whitlock, I'm going to ring your stinking neck."

Half lit by a fuse of happiness, half anxious to see the boy with his own two eyes, Charlie raced back down his front steps. His hat and coat were in one hand, car keys in the other. Before long, his sedan roared to life and began the three minute trek to 103 Little Park Road.

aj**AJAJ**aj

Alice looked a bit dismayed at the brown sludge she found floating in her coffee pot.

"Exactly how much coffee did you put in here?"

Jasper shrugged. "Apparently a little too much."

He was sitting at Alice's kitchen table cradling his namesake against his chest. Bella sat beside him while Edward held a fidgety Serena on his lap. Serena squealed in laughter, pounding the bits of banana that remained uneaten with a flat palm.

"They're a bit more quiet at this size than that?" Jasper asked.

His innocent question made both Bella and Edward laugh.

"RJ's only quiet until he's ready to be changed or fed. Size has nothing to do with the volume of the cry, Uncle Jasper."

A loud knock on Alice's front door broke up the laughter surrounding the breakfast table. Alice's hands were full of suds, Edward was more than occupied with Serena and the look Edward passed to Bella more than indicated his request for her to stay put and rest. Taking his cue, Jasper gently passed a sleeping RJ to Bella and headed for the front door.

The other side of the swinging door revealed a formidable looking Colonel Swan.

"Colonel Swan?" Jasper croaked, not knowing how his former commander had suddenly found him. And in Alice's home of all places.

Jasper immediately straightened his posture. Even though Charlie was technically no longer his commander, two years of coming to attention before superiors was a hard habit for Jasper to break.

"Son of a bitch," the colonel breathed in disbelief. "Whitlock, where in the goddamned _hell_ have you been?"

Jasper was searching for an answer when in a flash Alice had moved to her young husband's side with a wide eyed Serena on her hip.

"Charlie!" Alice reproached.

Charlie froze, his next sentence died in his mouth. Alice hefted Serena a little higher on her hip while glowering at Charlie. Serena cowered into Alice's shoulder. Charlie looked reproachful as he softened his expression. Alice couldn't hold back the smile appearing on her face, within Serena's tiny fist, the formidable colonel became as pliable as a dish of Jell-O.

"Papaw is sorry for scaring you," Charlie said softly. "I won't yell anymore."

Jasper was more stunned than anything when the colonel lifted his hands in request toward Jasper's godchild. With a little encouragement from Alice, Serena leaned over into her _papaw's_ open arms. Jasper stood stock still, stunned not only by the connection between Serena and the colonel but also by the power one tiny woman and one little girl had over the meanest SOB in ETOUSA. With Serena securely tucked under the colonel's chin, he turned and glared at Jasper.

"You and I are going to talk...and soon."

"Yes, sir."

Colonel Swan chuckled. "At ease, Whitlock. You're not in the Army anymore."

He lowered his chin just a bit and gave Jasper a hard look. It wasn't hard for Jasper to interpret his meaning.

_You may not be in the Army anymore, but as far as I'm concerned, rank always matters._

The colonel lifted his free hand to give Jasper's chest a hearty slap. "God, it's good to see you home, Whitlock."

Jasper about saw stars and struggled to remain standing. The colonel's playful slap over his healing shoulder about knocked him on his ass.

Alice wound her arm around Jasper's waist, hoping to take some of the burden off him as Charlie turned toward the kitchen. The worried look on her face was as apparent as her dark hair.

"I'm fine," Jasper choked. "He…he's Serena's grandfather?"

"Yes. Bella changed her name to Dwyer when she went off to war. Apparently, when Charlie found out she'd joined the war effort, he wanted to send her right back home. He finally let her stay after a lot of convincing and a promise to keep their family ties a secret." Alice looked over Jasper whose pallor had become rather gray in the last few moments. "Are you okay?" she asked again as she traced lightly over his forehead.

Jasper nodded, trying to convince himself and his wife that he'd be fine. "Just give me a minute."

Alice was about to help Jasper to the couch when Charlie called over his shoulder.

"You'd best call your relations, Alice, if you haven't already. Cy delivered my mail this morning and gave me the news. I don't think he could stop himself from telling your folks if he gets to them first."

Realizing Charlie was right, Alice helped Jasper to the couch and kissed him sweetly.

"You ready for this?" she quietly asked while trying to hide her nerves.

"So long as I don't receive another welcome like that, you bet."

The couple shared a private smile and a lingering kiss.

"I'm going to miss doing that with your relations around," Jasper breathed against her forehead.

Alice sighed. "Me too."

Moments later, Alice and Jasper sat side by side on her couch awaiting her parents' and sister's arrival. When Alice had called, Cindy's literal scream of excitement could be heard all the way across the room. She was expected to arrive with parents and husband in tow within minutes. Jasper and Alice held hands. Gentle strokes of fingertips were frequent during their wait. It would be hard for any observer to discern who was trying to comfort whom. The loud crack of high heels on the wood porch announced their arrival, but before Alice could even stand to get the door, Cindy barged in with hat flying and flew straight into a barely upright Alice.

"Oh my gracious, when did he get here? Did you know? Were you surprised? Did you faint? Did you kiss him? Oh my gosh," Cindy said, pulling back and looking at the flush of Alice's cheeks. "You did! It must have been amazing. Look how red you are!"

Jasper lifted his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat to announce his presence to his newly acquired sister-in-law. The boyish grin spreading from ear to ear was rather difficult to disguise. Cindy froze mid sentence and saw the dashing blond haired, blue eyed soldier standing just behind her sister. Her mouth fell wide open, and it nearly took everything Jasper had not to laugh. Bits of the letter he'd read last night came back to him.

_You, my Jasper, are cockier than a strutting peacock. You'd do best to remember that my sister is very much taken already…Her wandering eyes hold appreciation over your photograph, but nothing more. Only one Brandon sister seeks your affections and that one is beginning to wonder if your over inflated ego would ever fit through her front door._

Jasper's teasing grin widened as he wondered if he'd have to help Alice find the lard after all.

Alice watched with arms crossed over her chest as Cindy drank in Jasper standing before her in all his soldiers' glory. His uniform spoke of respect and morality. But the curling hairs that fell forward against his forehead gave off the hint of a bad boy image that had unmistakably sent Cindy's toes curling. And that grin, my gosh _that grin,_ was quite obviously making Cindy practically melt into the floor. Alice had to bite her cheek to keep from smiling. Though a part of her was jealous, a much more prominent part was gloating with pride.

"You can stop gawking, darling. You're wounding my ego," a voice called from behind Cindy. "I'm Collin McCabe, and the speechless woman before you is my wife, Cindy."

"Good to know you, Collin," Jasper replied, shaking Collin's hand with as much strength as he could muster with his bad arm. When he released Collin's hand, he grinned at Alice, holding her gaze out of the corner of his eye for a brief second before he stepped forward and lifted Cindy's gloved hand to his lips. "And your lovely wife as well."

Alice leaned against Jasper as he wrapped his good arm around her. Alice smiled demurely, lengthened her neck, and lifted up onto her tiptoes so that her lips practically grazed Jasper's ear.

"I see what you're doing and I'd protect that shoulder if I were you. I know where your pain points are, Mr. Whitlock."

Jasper tried hard to hide the smile on his face but utterly failed. Instead he pressed his lips to the soft spot beneath Alice's ear and whispered, "Duly noted, Mrs. Whitlock."

The reminder seemed to soften his new bride, but all ease vanished as Mr. and Mrs. Brandon stepped through Alice's front door. A cold chill ran down Jasper's spine that had nothing to do with the November wind floating through the front door. His back stiffened as the sight of a beautiful woman, looking much like an older version of Alice, appeared first. She wore a slanted, wide brimmed hat and a wool coat with a mink lapel. Her fingertips were clothed in leather gloves with fur trim to match her coat. Everything down to the color of her purse made Jasper's eyes grow wide, first with appreciation, then with fear. The formidable woman looked exactly as Alice had described in her letters. Amelia Brandon was not a woman to trifle with.

Alice, too, stood a little taller beside Jasper as her mother loosened one gloved finger at a time. She eyed Jasper first with a hint of caution and then her eyes rested on Alice. Alice saw the tension leave her mother's face as she stepped forward to bring her child into her arms. The smile on Alice's face had obviously been enough to relieve her mother's worries, at least for the moment.

Alice allowed a few tears to fall as her mother clutched her tightly. When she finally pulled back, Amelia lifted Alice's chin between her curled finger and her thumb.

"How I've missed this smile," she said, ducking her head to meet Alice's eyes.

Alice's growing smile allowed a few more tears to leak from the corner of her eyes. She lifted her hands to clasp her mother's arm.

"I don't think you have to worry about it going anywhere anytime soon. I'm pretty certain it's here to stay."

The double meaning in Alice's words was not lost on her mother. Amelia smiled knowingly at Alice before turning to the dashing but disheveled soldier standing beside her. Alice found it hard to not fidget or bite her lip as her mother appraised Jasper. After a moment, the whisper of a smile that spread across her mother's face allowed Alice to breathe an internal sigh of relief.

Jasper stepped forward and bowed his head slightly. He kept his eyes directly glued to his mother in law's, hoping she'd read the sincerity burning within them.

"Thank you for seeing Alice through while I was gone. She told me that it was the strength of her family and friends that made that possible. I owe you a debt of gratitude I can never repay."

Jasper rubbed his thumb over the back of Alice's knuckles. Alice's eyes softened at the gesture.

The boy in the photograph gracing Alice's desk was no more. That boy was now a man, and one whose gaze now settled on her with love and sincerity in his eyes. Alice loved him with her whole heart and prayed her family would see in Jasper's eyes what she saw, a devotion that words could never express.

Jasper's gaze returned to Amelia and in that moment he felt that they were silently thanking each other. Though he knew Amelia needed no thanks for the support and love she freely gave her child, Jasper was still grateful that she had been there to help Alice manage the dark moments of her life. He extended a grateful hand to his unknowing mother-in-law.

A single word was spoken from Amelia's lips as she took Jasper's offered hand.

"Likewise," she whispered with tears welling in her eyes. "I'm grateful to whatever strength lay deep within you to help you fight your way home. The light within Alice's eyes has never shown more brightly and I'm grateful to you for putting it there. You are obviously a very strong and brave soldier but I place more value on your strength as a gentle man standing there and looking adoringly at my child."

Alice's father was the last one through the door. He caught a hint of the conversation between his wife and his daughter's beau. Jasper swallowed audibly as he turned from the grateful eyes of Mrs. Brandon to the very suspicious ones of her spouse.

"I presume you are Private Jasper Whitlock," Mr. Brandon began formally.

"Yes, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper replied with just the faintest hint of a quiver to his voice.

"Yes, yes, but I'm sure it's an even greater pleasure for you to meet my daughter."

"Most definitely, sir. Though I've only had a short while to see her lovely face in person, the beauty of her words and her honesty spoke to me a long time ago."

Jasper hoped his word volley pointed out that although this was his first opportunity to meet Alice in person, he had certainly known and loved her for much, much longer.

_I'm not about to back down, Mr. Brandon,_ Jasper thought as he straightened his back._ I love her and will make you believe it. _

Though Jasper was standing tall, he felt like his throat was closing in on him. He was suddenly very grateful for Alice's wisdom in keeping their elopement quiet.

Mr. Brandon's eyes left Jasper's and he looked at the boxes around the room.

"So I assume the move…is off?"

"Yes," a voice answered quickly and confidently. Though it belonged to neither Alice nor Jasper.

Bella walked gingerly into the living room, cradling a satiated RJ in her arms.

"Alice's place is no longer in New Jersey with us, and I doubt it will be in Maryland either. Her place is where she's always wanted it to be…beside Jasper."

Alice both loved and hated her best friend in that moment. Not ten seconds after her father walks through the door, the fact that she was moving across country had been thrown in his face.

_Might as well wave my wedding band along with Jasper's like a matador for my father to charge. I must remind myself to wring Bella's neck later tonight._

Bella took a seat on a side chair, trying her level best to disguise the satisfaction that flickered across her face. Edward stood beside her, looking resigned to Bella's approach to clearing the air.

"I'll make coffee," Alice announced, taking her mother's coat and handing it to Jasper. She motioned for him to take the remainder of their guests' coats while she pulled away the heavy dust cloth that covered her dining room table.

Alice mentally calculated the number of slices of pound cake she had left in her freezer and sent Collin down to the basement to retrieve her china and tea service. About ten minutes later, her table was covered with cups of weak coffee, since Jasper had wasted a lot of it earlier, and a dish of bite sized squares of pound cake. She didn't have enough full slices to feed nine adults but little could be done about that now. The introduction of her husband to her father was not about to be delayed for a trip down to the market.

Alice's father took his normal seat at the head of her table, while Alice offered Jasper its opposite. She took her place beside her bridegroom. While her left hand cradled her weak coffee, her right cradled Jasper's hand beneath the table linen.

"Blanchard and Davis really put it to Notre Dame last week, didn't they?" Collin began, in an obvious attempt to ease the tension in the room.

Colonel Swan let out an appreciative grunt, encouraging Collin to continue to deflect the topic of conversation a little while longer.

"Blanchard was unstoppable, I read the _TIME_ article last week that described beef-trust legs that could dance on eggshells."

The look on Collin's face seemed to beg the other men at the table to join in. Edward was doing his best to keep his infant son quiet and didn't contribute much to the conversation. Charlie was a man of few words, as denoted by his grunt, and Jasper hadn't kept up with anything related to home since he'd left London five months ago. The ladies at the table weren't much help either, and the lull in the conversation unfortunately gave Mr. Brandon the opening he desired.

"So, Private Whitlock, Alice has told me you hail from west Texas," the senior Brandon began with a sip of his coffee. He couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at its tea like color and taste.

"Yes, sir," Jasper answered with more confidence than he thought he'd be able to muster.

"So let's get down to brass tax, shall we? What exactly are your intentions toward my daughter?"

"Frank!" Amelia scolded, but her husband shot her a quick look, asking both lovingly and authoritatively to _butt out_.

Charlie Swan, who sat on the other side of Amelia, was doing his level best to hold in his smirk. He was failing. Charlie lifted a single eyebrow to Edward in challenge then lifted his coffee cup to his mouth to hide his growing grin.

"To make her happy, sir," Jasper replied, oblivious to the silent exchange between Colonel Swan and _his_ son-in-law.

"Happy today? Happy tomorrow?" Frank challenged. "Happy when you return to Texas?"

Jasper sat up a little straighter and stared into the eyes of the man at the far side of the table as he spoke.

"Happy for eternity, sir, or at least until the good Lord decides to separate us."

Seven pairs of eyes moved from Jasper back to Mr. Brandon, as if watching the volley of a tennis match.

"And exactly how do you intend to support her? Alice is well off. She has a home, a car; she has a means of supporting herself through her education."

Frank put down his cup and fingered his wedding ring. Jasper squirmed internally, knowing that his wife's finger was currently bare.

"I'm a rancher by trade, Mr. Brandon." Jasper's voice began shakily before he rallied. "My family raises cattle, and there's a tract of land I will take up from my father when I get home. Between that and the two years of service pay I have in my pocket, I can make a comfortable life for her."

"So, you expect me to allow you to take her away un-chaperoned from her family, h—"

"Respectfully, Father," Alice said through clearly gritted teeth. "Why are you talking about me as if I'm not here? I made my choice, long ago. I thought my chance was lost, and somehow God saw fit to grant me the gift of this man. I'm an adult, and as you so plainly put it, a self sufficient one capable of making her own choices." Alice lifted their joined hands from her lap and placed them on the table. "We are not asking for your permission, Father. We're asking for your blessing."

Frank visibly bristled a bit at Alice's sharp tone. Alice felt a pang of guilt. She'd never spoken to her father like that before. Out of the corner of her eye, Alice watched her mother grin into her coffee cup, _she_ was obviously quite pleased with her daughter for standing up for herself. That small smile on her mother's lips gave Alice the confidence she needed to stand tall. She squared her shoulders toward her father; she would not retract her words.

"When it came time for Cindy to marry," Frank countered, "Collin asked me for her hand. I'd known him and his parents all his life, and even then it was still difficult to let her go. I do not know this boy, Alice, and you're asking me to let him take you across the country after knowing him one day. What kind of father allows that?" He turned from his daughter to Jasper. "It's obvious Mary Alice thinks the world of you Private Whitlock, but I make no apologies for protecting my daughter."

Jasper was just about to say something when he was cut off by someone he would never have expected to help him.

"I'll vouch for the boy," Charlie called out, making his presence at the table known. "He's a brave soldier and a good man," he added. "Jasper saved Bella's life and my own as well."

Frank Brandon pursed his lips. Alice could see that he was slowly accepting defeat, knowing that his opponent had bettered him. Alice turned and smiled at Jasper. The beauty of her glowing face eased the feeling of a lead brick lying in the pit of his stomach. Jasper watched his father in law's eyes leave the colonel's to meet his own. After a silent moment, he grimaced but nodded slightly into his coffee cup.

"When will you be leaving?" Amelia asked.

_Out of the frying pan and into the fire,_ Jasper thought.

"I'd like to be on the road tomorrow," Jasper answered quietly.

"So soon?" Cindy asked with wide eyes. It was obvious that the idea of her sister being so far away was upsetting.

"Well as you can imagine, my folks are quite anxious to see me," Jasper answered honestly, hoping that Alice's mother and sister would understand.

"Of course," Amelia replied, looking abashed. "I can't imagine what your folks have been going through. We wouldn't expect to keep you from your mother's waiting arms."

"Thank you, ma'am," Jasper nodded appreciatively.

"They do have telephones in Texas. I'll be able to call you," Alice told her sister. "I'm not so sure about electricity…"

Jasper snorted and shook his head at his bride.

"Funny, Alice. If I recall, Ma's stove and Pa's upright work quite well with that newfangled _'lectricity_,'" Jasper drawled.

Jasper's funny accent had everyone around the table laughing or at least smiling into their weak coffee. At the far side of the table, Amelia Brandon smiled knowingly as her eyes flashed between the young couple.

_Don't worry mama, _Alice thought as she held her mother's gaze. _We're going to be just fine. _

aj**AJAJ**aj

Hours after battling Alice's father for her hand, Jasper was battling to keep his eyes open. The lack of sleep on the boat, combined with the late night and early morning had his eyes glassing over as Alice's father extoled the importance of the beef trust cases to modern day antitrust law. Collin, in his attempt to deflect some of the discussion from Jasper, had again mentioned the article in _TIME_ and their brilliant reference to Blanchard by comparing his thick and nimble limbs to a beef trust. That set Mr. Brandon on his current tangent.

Much of the early afternoon had been spent in Alice's dining room. There, eight adults and two small children listened to Jasper's description of the events he had encountered between July and November 1945. Jasper did his best to keep the tale appropriate for mixed company. The Brandons and the McCabes sat in stunned silence while Edward, Bella and Colonel Swan held more suspicious looks on their faces. They knew Jasper was offering a fraction of the entire story. When it came to explaining his wound and how he had obtained it, Mrs. Brandon was unable to hold back a gasp with her hand, while Alice's hand began to tremble within Jasper's. Though she knew Jasper was alive and safe, hearing the account of how close she came to losing him, made it all the more real. Jasper tightened his grasp on his wife and a nearly ashen Cindy buried her head in her husband's chest. Jasper watched them from an almost detached position.

Looking at Collin he seemed healthy enough to enlist or be drafted, yet here he sat, cradling his wife, his mind untouched by the horror of war. A burning sensation welled up in Jasper's chest. How had this man stayed in the comfort of his home, in the bosom of his loving wife, while so many others had been shipped off to war to die on foreign lands?

_How was it fair? What had I or any other soldier done to deserve such a punishment?_

Jasper tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, believing that it was Collin's job that had kept him stateside, but the burning continued to flare. It was only Alice's shuddering gasp for air that brought him back from those thoughts. Jasper again tightened his hold around her waist and pressed his lips to the soft waves on top of her head. He gently shushed her quiet cry, telling her he was okay now.

"You were always with me, Alice. That's how I made it home."

Though the words were intended to soothe her, she turned and held him tighter as her tears began to fall. She was so grateful he was alive, and he could feel every bit of anguish she'd gone through while she believed he was gone. The feel of Alice's heartache combined with her embrace brought a moment of clarity for Jasper. He didn't need to feel anything for Collin but companionship for having the love a good woman surrounding him. For if he had not gone to war, had not entered that hell of a mess, he wouldn't have met Edward, or Bella, or be holding the beautiful woman in his arms that he now called his wife. No the war wasn't his punishment; Alice was his reward.

When Jasper finished his tale, Cindy took Alice into the kitchen under the guise of helping her clear the dishes from their meal, but Jasper suspected it was to help her calm her nerves.

At the present moment, Mr. Brandon was explaining why the government had won the antitrust case but failed to order the dissolution, when the call of the soft couch cushions begged Jasper to close his eyes if only for a moment. Mrs. Brandon stood, bringing Jasper back to consciousness, and announced to the room that they were going home. It had been a very long, though happy day, but she'd felt she needed to rest after all of the excitement. Jasper suspected, Mrs. Brandon caught him dozing and was kind enough to make sure they quickly took their leave. Mr. Brandon, unfazed by his wife's declaration, finished his train of thought before promising Collin he'd finish the tale over Thanksgiving dinner. Jasper tried to disguise the smile that was threatening on his face when he caught Collin subtly rolling his eyes.

Mr. Brandon seemed to pause before his next statement and turned his stare to Jasper.

"Where are you staying tonight, Jasper?"

Jasper had been worrying Frank would make a comment about Alice missing a proper Thanksgiving dinner with her family, but he didn't. Instead, he asked Jasper's sleep deprived mind a question he wasn't prepared to answer.

_In bed with my wife, of course, _would have been his honest answer but it would earn him the certain shock and dislike of his in-laws and the expected cold shoulder from said new wife.

The question, though innocent, was one he stumbled over.

"Uh, Alice mentioned the Bartlett Pear."

It was an honest answer; she _had _mentioned it. Although it was last night when she'd mentioned it, just before their wedding.

"Nonsense, Amelia answered with her daughter's in tow behind her. "You'll stay with us. It will give us a chance to know you a little better before you leave for Texas."

Alice, who didn't like the idea of being separated from Jasper any more than Jasper liked the idea of being separated from Alice, offered an alternative.

"Bella and Edward will stay here in the spare room, like they've done for months. Jasper can have the couch."

_Until you leave,_ she added silently.

Charlie cleared his throat.

"Jasper and Edward will stay with me. I have that big house with lots of space. Bella will stay with Alice and Edward can bring Jasper back in the morning," he said authoritatively but softened a bit when he looked at Alice's mother. "Amelia, I'm certain Jasper appreciates the offer of your hospitality, but I'd personally like the chance to talk with the boy. I knew a lot of men who lived and died over there. It would do me good to have a clearer picture of how our forces are holding onto the peace."

Alice watched as her mother mulled over Charlie's invitation. She wasn't sure what would be a worse predicament for Jasper, a night with his in-laws or a night with his former commander. In the end, Amelia nodded and Alice was left with the hope Edward's presence at Jasper's interrogation would be the lesser of two evils.

A half hour later, Edward had Jasper's duffel in the back of his car. The Brandons and McCabes had already left, followed shortly by Charlie. Edward kissed his children sweetly and after eliciting a promise to take care of herself, he gave his wife a long, lingering embrace. Bella made her way upstairs with the excuse of checking on her sleeping children while Edward said he'd wait for Jasper in the car.

As soon as they were alone, Jasper pulled Alice into his arms, pressing his lips frantically to hers. He'd missed her all day. Though at times they'd only been inches apart, it felt like miles. When they finally came up for air, Jasper trailed his hands down her neck lightly, tracing the slope of her skin until they dipped beneath her collar. For a moment Jasper lost himself in the sensation of her warmth. His fingers rolled along her collarbone until they reached the smooth ball chain that hung from her neck. He pulled it up until his dog tag and her wedding band lay exposed before them. Moments later Alice's ring was on her finger and its mate was on Jasper's. Jasper lifted Alice's left hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle before resting his lips on her gold band.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning," he promised.

Alice could only nod, but her anxiety over his departure was hiding there, just beneath the surface of her composure.

Jasper was very worried she'd have another nightmare like the one that shook her this morning. He took her soft face in his hands and stared into her eyes.

"Tell me you'll be all right, or I won't be able to let you go."

"I'll be all right," she answered weakly. "You'd better go. Besides I'll be better off here than you'll be if you keep Charlie waiting too long."

Alice laughed weakly at her own joke, but Jasper knew better than almost anyone that she was right. He kissed her hard then ran for the door.

"Remember, I love you, Alice Whitlock."

Those words were the ones Alice needed to hear. They would keep her bad dreams at bay. She smiled in the knowledge that Jasper loved her, and she was indeed Mrs. Alice Whitlock.

The drive to the colonel's was too short for Edward to say much more than "Thank God you're home, my friend." Nothing could be more true to the man who'd lost one brother and was praising God for returning a second.

No sooner than the men reached the top of the colonel's drive and wrestled their bags from Edward's trunk, when a loud banging startled them. Both men looked up to see every light downstairs beaming brightly into the night. Charlie stood on the porch, the door still reverberating from when it had been thrust back against the doorframe, with his arms folded menacingly across his chest. His lips twitched. Although the steam rising from his head was likely no more than his warm breaths against the cold night air, Jasper could have sworn he saw steam coming from the man's ears.

Charlie looked out across his yard and saw the two men before him. Without a moment's hesitation he barked out his order and turned to march inside.

"Get your asses in this house now. And I don't give a fucking rat's ass if you've been discharged or not, that's a goddamned order!"

* * *

_A/N: I think Charlie steals the show in this chapter. So is he on the warpath ready to devour our boys or a big blowhard with a soft center?_

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,_

_-FirstBlush_

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 36 Reassurance

**Story reference: **Colin refers to Blanchard's beeftrust sized legs as a football player for Army.

**Historical Significance:** Meet packers Swift, Armour, and Morris merged into the National Packing Company, the action prompted a prompting a federal antitrust indictment later referred to as the beef trust cases.

Read more: .com/topic/beef-trust-cases#ixzz1XyWxUsvE

**Source: **http:/www(dot)answers(dot)com/topic/beef-trust-cases

* * *

**Historical Significance: **Army won the national championship for football in 1945. It was a dream season for the famed football team.

**Source: **

The Year America Stood Still: Army's Dream Season of 1945 http:/bleacherreport(dot)com/articles/73648-the-year-america-stood-still-armys-dream-season-of-1945

TIME Magazine: Army's Super Dupers: http:/www(dot)time(dot)com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,792534-6,00(dot)html


	37. Chapter 37 A Road Less Traveled

******__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading. U2Shay, thank you for talking me through all of the changes on this one._**

* * *

**A Road Less Traveled**

Edward helped Jasper heave his duffel out of his trunk then shut it with a quick pull. Late afternoon was turning into twilight and the cooling air had set Jasper's teeth chattering. The wind suddenly picked up and a strong gust blew a length of Jasper's hair across his forehead. He pushed it away only to have it flop back against his skin. Realizing the effort was futile, Jasper stuffed his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold. The action brought a stab of pain up and down his arm reminding him that not everything had returned to the way it once was when he'd stepped back onto US soil.

For Jasper, being home could not take away the memories of the path that had brought him here. A tremor ran down his spine as he'd remembered the exhaustion and hunger of being lost in the German forest. The feeling of desperation was still there, just beneath his skin. He had barely made it out alive and that had been in the lush of summer. Fear prickled through him as he considered trying to find a way out in the dead of winter. It didn't take him long to realize that the outcome would have been much different. Another chill ran down Jasper's spine.

"Are you okay?" Edward called hefting one bag on his shoulder and grabbing a second in his hands.

Jasper turned toward his friend only to see the image of Vladimir's stunned eyes the moment after Demetri shot him.

"Jasper?" Edward called again.

Jasper shook the image from his mind. He was relieved to see the image didn't last long but it unnerved him, making him want to look around for ghosts in the shadows of the oncoming night.

"I'm fine," Jasper replied somewhat shakily. His voice couldn't seem to hold the conviction his mind was hoping he'd find.

Edward placed a gentle hand on Jasper's shoulder. Even the light touch made Jasper flinch against the pain.

"Sorry," Edward called out and instantly moved his hand away. He'd intended to be a comfort to Jasper, not cause him more pain.

"It's all right. It just smarts a little."

Jasper wasn't being forthright, but he didn't want to call further attention to what he perceived to be a weakness.

"Listen," Edward began. "I just wanted you to know that whatever Charlie says in there, deep down he's glad as hell that you're back."

"So he's Charlie to you too?" Jasper asked in disbelief.

Edward shrugged. "He's my father in law."

Though the realization had hit him earlier in the day, it was still hard for Jasper to comprehend the connection between his former commander Bella and now Edward. Jasper wasn't sure what would be worse, the third degree he received from Frank Brandon, Esquire or the marching orders Edward had undoubtedly received from Colonel Swan.

"Jasper," Edward began quietly, struggling with how to say what was on his mind. "I did the best I could for Alice while you were away. I know it wasn't enough." He sighed pushing his fingers through his wind blown hair. "But I did my best to keep my promise and take care of her. I just want to say—" Edward looked down as his voice cracked. "I don't think anything could make me happier right now than seeing you alive."

"I know you did, and I'm grateful for it, Edward."

A small piece of Jasper's old self leapt to the surface and he grinned at Edward as he made his witty reply.

"I once asked you if Bella had a twin or a cousin." Edward looked up and nodded remembering the conversation Jasper described. "Thank God Alice isn't a blood relative. I'd have a shit storm of a time asking the meanest SOB in ETOUSA for Alice's hand."

Edward laughed. "Guess that's why I never asked."

Both men laughed, breaking the heavy weight of moments earlier, and strode up the steps of the two story colonial. Charlie was in his front parlor, standing in front of a liquor cabinet. In the time it took Edward and Jasper to grab their bags and mount the steps, Charlie had three tumblers on the top of the cabinet and was filling each with a healthy ration of his best single malt scotch.

"Sit down," Charlie ordered without turning from his post at the liquor cabinet.

Edward and Jasper dropped their bags and followed the sound of Charlie's voice into the room. It was sparsely decorated save for the liquor cabinet, a worn leather chair and a small round table that looked oddly out of place with the other surroundings. Charlie brought the bottle of scotch and the glasses to the table then abruptly left the men standing in the room.

Jasper glanced over to Edward with a confused look on his face.

"Don't ask me," Edward replied as he took his seat across from Jasper's. "We never come in this room."

Moments later Charlie returned with a wooden folding chair which he set between the other two. He sat down, lifted his tumbler, clinked both Edward and Jasper's glasses, then proceeded to drain half of the amber liquid from his glass. Jasper thought he heard the colonel mumble something like, _thank you, Ree-nie,_ before downing the second half of his drink.

Charlie looked up from his glass into the wide eyes of the men before him. The scotch burned as it made its way down; it was a welcome feeling after months if not years of cold. For seated at his beloved table was Jasper Whitlock, who for all intents and purposes was a walking miracle.

"I was a soda jerk as a kid," Charlie began unseating the silence and startling the men before him. "I was seventeen and working at a Walgreens when the prettiest girl I'd ever seen came walking through the front door. She was new in town. Her family had just moved into Galesburg a few weeks prior." A slow smile lit Charlie's weathered cheeks. "Renee had me the moment she smiled," Charlie added with a grin. "I proposed to her nearly a year later at this very table," he added rubbing a flat palm over the wood like someone who'd wiped it down thousands of times before. It took me two months to convince old man Crawford to let me have this table, but he finally gave in and I gave it to Renee for our first wedding anniversary. She died when Bella was seven and I swore I'd never sit here without her again."

Jasper spied Edward across the table's wooden top wondering what had changed Charlie's mind. Edward looked just as bewildered.

"Don't ask," Charlie began. "Just know that you're the first to sit at this table in a long, long time. Lift your glasses boys," Charlie said adding more amber liquid to each glass. "To the ones worth coming home to."

That was an easy drink to swallow, for both Edward and Jasper knew the power of having someone worth fighting for. With a light thud, Charlie brought his glass back down to the table. He brought his elbows up and leaned heavily on them, staring right into Jasper's eyes.

"Now, tell me what the hell happened. I don't want the pansy ass version you gave the Brandons this afternoon, either. I want the whole story, and don't feed me any of that cock and bull about shit being classified. You owe me the full briefing after the hell you put all of us through, not to mention what this did to Bella _and Alice_. Start talking."

Truthfully, Jasper wouldn't have had the guts to withholding information from the colonel. Active duty or not, he knew the power this man could wield. He'd seen it firsthand. So Jasper told his story. He began with the delay outside of Magdeburg and ended with the frustrating conversation he'd had with Master Sergeant Gray. Edward became paler the longer Jasper spoke. The description of Stephan's madness and the murder of the Pathfinders made him sick. Charlie, on the other hand, became eerily calm. The only visible reaction to Jasper's words was the occasional squint of his eye.

"The Master Sergeant got Demetri to London before I left, but I don't know if he'll be allowed to defect. He said there were no guarantees."

Tired from the weight of another confession, Jasper rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes for a moment hoping he'd have better luck sleeping tonight. He doubted it since the arms he wanted wrapped around him were two miles down the road.

"He won't let it go," Charlie said in a gruff voice, startling Jasper out of his trance.

Jasper opened his eyes to see the colonel sitting back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. His eye was twitching again, as if a small band of strategists were coddled together formulating a plan behind his mind's eye.

"Gray may not have solid proof, but he won't sit on his ass either. I don't know if he'll be able to find this Stephan, but I can promise he'll do his damn best to get justice for the Pathfinders."

"But—" Jasper began.

"Don't ask how. Just know he believes you. If he didn't your Russian _friend_ would be in the Gulags by now."

Jasper nodded. The colonel was undoubtedly right. Without Gray's influence, Demetri would be back with the Russians, classified as a traitor. He'd be marching toward his imprisonment or death. Jasper just hoped that the tenacity Colonel Swan described of Gray would ultimately land Demetri on this side of the pond.

jj**JJ**jj

Again Jasper didn't sleep well. He was caught up between the time difference and the restlessness of his mind. He tossed and turned, floating between nightmares as he slept and the pain in his shoulder when he lay awake. Although he'd only been with her for a day, he sorely missed Alice. By the time five am rolled around Jasper cleaned himself up and made his way downstairs. He wasn't sure if anyone would be up yet, but at least if he was dressed and ready, he'd be one step closer to being reunited with Alice.

By the time Jasper hit the bottom step and turned the corner, he could tell he wasn't the only one awake. The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted around his head, beckoning him toward the kitchen like a moth to a flame.

"Coffee?" Colonel Swan grunted from behind his cup.

"Yes, please, sir."

Jasper watched as the colonel tilted his head in the direction of a pot on the stove. Jasper didn't bother to ask for cream or sugar, like most soldiers, he took it both black and strong.

"You're up early," Jasper heard the colonel remark from behind yesterday's _Baltimore Sun_.

"It's not really early in London, sir."

A sound very much like a snort was the only response Jasper heard. He sat at the table across from the colonel. Silence stretched and Jasper kicked himself for not waking Edward before coming downstairs. A minute later Jasper heard the crumple of the colonel's newspaper and saw his weathered face emerge from behind it.

"The time change isn't what's keeping you awake."

The colonel's statement was so matter of fact that Jasper hardly imagined refuting it. The tone of his voice was confident, experienced and perhaps even a little resigned. All Jasper could do was shake his head no in response.

"They don't leave you," the colonel began with a quiet voice. "The ghosts are always there, but their call grows quieter as time passes."

Again the silence stretched between the two men.

"What are you searching for, Whitlock?"

Jasper looked up, his blue eyes were searching for a suitable answer. Within that stare Charlie saw a familiar pain.

"Peace," Jasper finally replied.

There were plenty of ways to take that response. Peace in the world was one, but what Jasper was searching for was peace within himself. He was looking for a way to make peace with the ghosts and quiet his mind to the war he'd left behind.

The colonel seemed to stifle a laugh, though he wasn't laughing at Jasper. Charlie had his own ghosts and plenty of them.

"When you figure that one out, let me know. In the meantime, you need to find a way to get it out. If you don't, it will eat you alive."

_Get it out? _ Jasper thought condescendingly. Get out the fear, the sadness, the anger? He didn't know how.

Charlie watched Jasper puzzle over his words. Jasper's elbows were on the table, with one palm closed over the other fist. A shiny gold band glinted on the third finger of Jasper's left hand. Charlie lifted his newspaper back into position and offered one final bit of advice from behind the newsprint.

"That girl of yours is stronger than you think."

"I know, sir, and I'm damn lucky she is."

Charlie grunted from behind the sports section and reached out for his cooling cup of coffee. After a healthy gulp he set it down back on the table. His fingers drifted over the smooth surface and his thoughts turned to Bella's mother. He'd been damn lucky once too. He only hoped Jasper would heed his advice.

"Treat her right, Whitlock."

jj**JJ**jj

Alice bounded off the steps of her front porch ignoring the cold and her lack of coat to get into Jasper's arms faster. Her smile shone brightly as she flew into his arms. Jasper stifled the groan the pain in his shoulder caused as he pulled her in tight and met her lips with his own. By the time Jasper released Alice from his kiss, Edward had disappeared into the house.

"What a welcome," he hummed. "Good morning, sweetheart."

A trickle of delight rippled over Alice's shoulders. It wasn't only the cold that made her shiver; it was her husband's touch and his warm breath against her cheek.

"Good morning," she beamed. "Are you hungry?"

Jasper nodded shyly and stroked Alice's cheek with the tip of his finger. He was still stunned by the knowledge that she was really his. It showed in the way he carefully lifted his hands to cradle her face.

"I missed you," he whispered.

Alice couldn't prevent the wetness from welling in her eyes.

"I missed you too," she replied lifting up on her tip toes to give Jasper another kiss. A second shiver ran through Alice and Jasper wrapped his good arm protectively around her shoulders to keep her warm. "My parent's are here to see us off. Come on, let's get you inside."

An hour later, after a hearty breakfast, Jasper helped Edward load the last of Alice's bags into her car. Jasper shivered. It wasn't from cold weather or the stern look of warning he'd received from Alice's father when they departed moments earlier. It was from the unnerving sense of deja vu passing over him.

"It feels like we've done this before doesn't it," Edward mused feeling the haunt of a similar goodbye that passed between them the year before.

Jasper lifted his head from Alice's trunk to see the expression on Edward's face. He smiled softly but there was a tinge of sadness visible in the crinkle of his eyes.

"We have," Jasper teased. "Only this time, we're not searching anymore. We've both been lucky enough to find what we were looking for," Jasper smiled and tilted his head back toward the house.

Edward nodded as the aforementioned blessings came down Alice's steps. Bella held RJ while Alice carried Serena. Both children donned their winter bunting to keep out the cold. Jasper placed a gentle kiss on the top of his namesake's head.

"I'll tell you all about the trouble I got into as a boy, later," he promised. "But for now, be good for your ma."

He then turned to Serena who was cradled in Alice's arms.

"My lady." He bowed like a knight before a princess, before pressing his lips to her chubby paw. "All the stories talk about fairy godmothers and magic and ponies, but what you really need is a godfather who will both spoil you rotten with sweets and keep the boys away with a long shot rifle."

Bella and Alice laughed while Edward muttered _amen._

Alice leaned over and kissed Serena on the cheek. "I'll miss you," she whispered with a hug.

Bella handed RJ to Edward and wrapped her arms around Alice and her daughter.

"We'll see you soon. There's going to be a wedding right?" Bella teased. "We'll another one anyway," she added with a bit of sarcasm.

Alice flushed, but Bella's words had done the trick and lightened the somber mood that settled over the couples. After a few more hugs and promises to see each other soon, Alice watched through tear filled eyes as the Masens backed down her driveway. She followed them with a frantic wave goodbye before their car finally disappeared.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked, holding out his hand to her.

A huge smile graced Alice's face. "Never been more," she answered.

aj**AJ**aj

"One room for the night" Jasper said a bit nervously rocking on his heels with his hands behind his back.

"Just one night?" the clerk confirmed suspiciously.

"Yes, just the one night."

Alice did her best to stifle the laugh that was threatening from her lips.

The elderly hotel clerk eyed Jasper wearily, taking in his flushed appearance, rumpled khaki shirt and the blushing girl standing behind him. Alice couldn't help it, at this point she had to look down or break into laughter at her young husband's nerves. It had been a long day on the road and if Alice wasn't so ready for a hot shower she would have let Jasper flounder a little longer. After all, if _she'd _been the hotel's manager, she would have questioned the propriety of the couple before her too.

Alice leaned over Jasper's shoulder, being sure she spoke loud enough for the manager to hear.

"I can't wait until we get to Texas. I'm so excited to tell your folks about the baby. Your mama will be so excited to hear another little Whitlock is on the way."

Jasper turned to Alice, looking at her like she'd grown a second head. Alice ignored his confused look and leaned conspiratorially in the direction of the manager.

"We've been so thrilled with the news but this morning sickness is awful. Honestly I have no idea why they call it that, it can kick off at any time. One moment I'm fine and the next, half of my dinner is all over the floor." Alice lowered her voice a little as she stepped closer to the registration desk. "We've just had a full meal at the diner down the road and I'm just hoping I can keep it down tonight." Alice grimaced, placing a light hand over her stomach. "Do you think you'll have our room ready soon?"

To emphasize her point, Alice purposely removed the glove of her wedding band clad left hand and lifted it to her mouth trying to appear a little green around the gills.

"Yes, ma'am," the clerk quickly replied. "And I'll personally ensure we have extra towels sent up to your room. Robbie!"

The manager snapped his fingers to summon the bellboy for their bags.

"Room 209, for Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock," he said, handing over the key to Jasper. "Congratulations, and have a pleasant stay."

Alice led a very confused Jasper by the hand over to the stairs. Together they followed the bellboy up to their room. Their wedding had been fast but he knew Alice wouldn't have signs of expecting _that_ quickly.

"Alice, why—" Jasper began.

"Because I prefer sleeping in a bed rather than in the back of my car."

"That doesn't make any sense, of course we weren't going to sleep in your car."

"I assure you, we would have. The manager seemed to consider your nerves as an indication of our marriage status, or lack there of."

Jasper's eyes went wide. "You mean he thought—"

Jasper didn't even finish his sentence. He turned on his heel and began marching back down to the old goat. He'd be damned if he'd let a man think untoward thoughts about his wife.

"Jasper," Alice soothed, catching him by the arm of his coat. "Please don't. I'm tired and it's not worth it. I've lived a lot of my life not caring what people thought of me. Trust me when I say that I've survived despite their unkind thoughts. I'm stronger for it."

"What he was thinking of you was disgusting. He should be kicked in the teeth for it."

"The only kicking I intend for you to do, is kicking off your shoes and climbing into bed with me. Wouldn't you rather do that?"

Alice punctuated her words by lightly tracing the gloved fingertips of her right hand over Jasper's lips. One eyebrow and one flaccid appendage lifted in response and all thoughts of the night manager suddenly vanished from Jasper's mind.

"I'm in so much trouble," Jasper said thickly, acknowledging his wife's power over his mind and body.

Alice laughed and turned back in the direction of their waiting bellboy. "You're not at the moment, but you will be if you don't join me soon."

_Being bad is starting to sound awfully good,_ Jasper mused.

The bellboy barely had time to shut the door before Jasper had Alice in his arms. His lips found hers then moved swiftly to her neck and collar bone. With trembling fingers he undid the buttons of her coat, pulled off her final leather glove and began to work the buttons of her blouse. One by one the buttons disappeared beneath the silk opening his beautiful wife further to him. Alice's hands lifted to Jasper's hair sifting and gently tugging until his mouth left her neck and rejoined her lips. His chest rose with heavy breaths in excitement and anticipation. Gone was the shy boy from a few nights back. Jasper was feeling both confident and eager.

The zipper slipped down the back of her skirt. The loosened garment slid from Alice's hips and over her silky stockings. Unable to be as patient, Alice kicked off her shoes and tugged Jasper toward the bed by his belt loops. More clothing found its way onto the floor until the only scrap item covering anything on Jasper was his socks. Alice too found herself in a healthy state of undress. Only in her stockings and garter belt had yet to find their way to the floor. Her tongue encircled his as her fingertips danced along the planes of his naked chest. Jasper pulled her flush to him eliciting a groan from his new wife.

Alice felt her face became hot with embarrassment as she realized the sounds were coming from her. She wondered how she'd gone from being a quiet schoolmarm to a wanton woman overcome with lust for this man. Alice raked her teeth over her lower lip and looked up at Jasper with a mix of desire and apprehension.

Jasper froze with his chest heaving and his body aching for her touch.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Alice began and then stopped. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves and then started again. "I want…I want to take a shower."

"Oh," Jasper said as he stepped back to release her. "Okay," he added wondering why Alice would want to stop when a moment ago it seemed nothing would stop them. Perhaps after a long day of travel she needed to feel refreshed before she would feel comfortable being amorous. Jasper tried to temper his disappointment with patience. He turned to find her bag so he could place it on the bed for her.

Alice caught him by the wrist. His very apparent excitement had not faded.

"I don't want to shower _alone_, Jasper."

If Alice were being honest she'd have to admit that she'd been thinking a lot about not showering alone. In fact not showering alone had been on her mind all day. She figured that not showering alone and standing upright would allow Jasper to take the lead even with his bad shoulder. And despite the power he'd given her on their wedding night, Alice was all for this new position that not showering alone would allow.

It took Jasper another half second to realize what Alice was implying. Her face was now red and her teeth were leaving a white impression in her lower lip.

"You mean, _in _the shower?"

All Alice could do was nod or hope the ground would open up and swallow her whole for her brazenness.

Jasper's face went from one of disappointment to surprise to evil glee in about two seconds flat. The lustful look in his eyes gave Alice the confidence she needed. She reached out and stroked him, eliciting a suppressed moan from her husband. He barely had the composure to grab her by the wrist and pull her into the bathroom.

Alice had no idea that her thoughts would soon mirror the ones Jasper had in the hall outside their room. She hung onto his good shoulder for dear life as water poured over them both. Steam rose from the room fogging the glass while her fingers sought purchase on a towel rack. Her breaths came heavily as she and Jasper learned a whole new way to enjoy a shower. Alice trembled in Jasper's arms and the parting smirk on her face matched her somewhat wicked thoughts.

_Being bad is starting to sound very, very good._

Alice stepped out of the still steaming bathroom to find Jasper sitting up in bed. The sated feeling of their first joint shower was still fresh on her body and in her mind. She gazed lovingly at her husband who had one hand in his hair and the other rattling a pen between his teeth. On the bed sat a copy of the _King James Bible_, covered with a nearly blank sheet of stationary. Only two words graced the top of the page, _Dear Alec._

"Are you stuck?" Alice prodded as she slipped off her night robe and crawled under the covers.

"I think you have to have more than two words to be considered stuck. I'm more like frozen."

"I can thaw you out," Alice offered as she traced his writing arm with a feather light touch.

"You already did. Are you interested in a second go around?"

"I—I didn't mean it like that," Alice answered with a crimson hue floating on her cheeks. "I meant I could thaw you out of your writer's block, but we could again…if you'd like."

Jasper ran his nose along Alice's chin, settling it behind her ear. She smelled sweet and fresh from their shower. It wouldn't be difficult for Jasper to distract himself from the task at hand.

"I'd love to get lost in you again, but I fear I'm only putting off the inevitable."

Alice moved to the middle of the bed and sat with her back against the headboard. She gently pulled on Jasper's shoulders, positioning his back to her front. Her fingers through his freshly showered hair, tracing the wet curls that were currently more brown than blond. A content moan escaped Jasper's lips as her free hand massaged his neck and bad shoulder. They were both tired but Alice had a feeling that they wouldn't get much sleep if Jasper didn't get his thoughts off his mind and onto that paper.

"What are you thinking?" Alice asked.

Jasper hesitated for a moment then sighed. "Have you ever been caught by your mama with your hand in her cookie jar just before supper?"

"What me?" Alice replied, feigning innocence. "I was perfect. I never stole sweets before suppertime. That was all my rotten little sister's doing…_right before she told on me."_

Jasper laughed. "I'm being serious."

"So am I," Alice teased indignantly. "That little tattletale was rotten to the core."

Jasper sniggered then took in a deep breath. He seemed to need more air in his lungs to lighten the weight resting on his chest.

"Right before I left for Berlin, Alec gave me some orders. He outranked me and basically gave me some marching orders before he left for home. They were his words to live by, if you will. The thing is, Alice, when I was captured, it was because I hadn't listened to a single one. I ignored every order, every reasonable command he gave me and you and I both paid a heavy price for it."

Jasper's words, though seemingly forthright, didn't make sense. In Alice's mind there had to be more to the story.

"I don't really understand. Why didn't you obey them?"

"I got separated from my troop and I heard an American calling out for help. I ignored the basic rules of warfare when I went to help him. I went off alone; I left my back open to anyone within earshot. Worst of all I laid down my weapon before I understood the situation."

"You tried to help someone in need, Jasper. That's who you are. That's the man I fell in love with. Please stop beating yourself up for being a good man."

"Being a good man nearly got me killed and in the end, it didn't make a bit of difference."

Alice waited patiently while Jasper summoned the courage to finish.

"He died right beneath my fingertips. His name was Bobby Tanner. He was a Pathfinder who had tried to escape the Russians."

Alice wrapped her arms around Jasper, hugging him tight and pressing her cheek to his.

"Of course it made a difference, Jasper. You were with a man when he took his final breaths. He didn't die alone because you were there. It is a noble thing to ease someone else's suffering and put their life before your own. If the circumstances had been different, I would have wanted no less for you. I know Tanner's family will take some comfort in knowing that someone was with him at the very end."

A long silence blanketed the room as Alice struggled with how to make Jasper see himself as she saw him. It frustrated her to see him look so self deprecating and right then and there vowed to help him through his pain. For tonight there was little more she could do than encourage Jasper to finish his letter and hope it would help him begin to lay his ghosts to rest.

"I'm sure Alec will be upset that you went through hell to get home, but like everyone who loves you, we're all just happy to see you alive, Jasper. You don't have to tell Alec everything in one letter," she said while pressing her lips pressed tenderly to his temple. "Just let him know you made it home. The rest can come later."

Jasper nodded and kissed Alice softly. He urged her to get some rest and said he would follow shortly. Alice was about to argue when she recognized the pleading look displayed on Jasper's face. He wanted to do this alone. Alice kissed him softly and placed a gentle hand upon his cheek.

"I'm here if you need me," she whispered.

"I know, sweetheart," he sighed. "Thank you."

With Alice safely tucked in beside him, Jasper picked up his pen and prepared to keep at least one promise he'd made to his friend.

_November 24, 1945_

_ Dear Alec,_

_My letter may reach you a few days past Thanksgiving, but I assure you that my tardiness could not be avoided. I made it back to the States just two days ago and my first stop was Easton. That, my friend, should bring a smile to your face. It sure as heck did mine. _

_I hope you, Jane, and your boys had a happy Thanksgiving and that you're as fat and happy as any man of your advanced age should be. It would certainly do me good to see you with a punch belly, a smoking pipe and a faithful retriever at your feet._

_So, where to begin? Well, you know as well as I do that I was expected to be home sometime in September. I didn't make it. In fact, it's purely by the grace of God I'm here at all. I can practically feel your frustration and worry through this paper, so I guess now is as good a time as any for my confession. The truth of it is that I didn't abide by your parting orders. Not only did I not stay with my unit and cover my rear, but I went out into the open alone. The ramification of one split second decision was both swift and severe. I'm sure you're eager to give me an earful, but please save the swift kick you're aiming at my backside for later. For now, just know that I'm alive. It's more than I deserve and more than I can say for many others. _

_I have little doubt, Alec, that you would have been screaming my name and cursing me as I ran into harm's way. Just as I have little doubt that you would have been following right along behind me covering my tail. Perhaps, my return might have been a lot quicker if you had. Perhaps you would have met the same fate as some others whose paths I crossed in my effort to evade capture, but you weren't and for that I am grateful._

_I've been thinking about VE Day and the night we lit the fire in the common. I now have more than a few names to add to the list of poor souls taken well before their time. Alice tells me to be happy that I'm not one of them, but my mind can't seem to let go. It curses me with the sense that somehow I could have done more, been stronger, faster, braver…better. I can see now why you didn't want to talk about your time in Africa. The ghosts are hard to set free. _

_I'm heading home to see my folks. We should arrive in Nickel Creek in about a week. I know they're aching to see me. They'd gotten word that I didn't make it and had a hard time of it these last few months. I hope to make it up to them, though I'm not exactly sure how. _

_The bright spot in all of this is the new addition to my family and the light of my life, Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock. We were married the same night I came home. Now before you question my honor, just know that I did not force my lady into the bonds of marriage. I stood there like a deer in headlights and nodded yes when she asked me to marry her. Ahh Alec, I can feel your grin from across the country. Yes, she's a pistol and the perfect woman for me. You can stop patting yourself on the back for catching onto that fact well before I did. Instead, I'll be happy to share a draft or two with you at my wedding. You see, I extracted a promise from Alice to allow me to marry her again before God, family, and friends. Only Bella and Edward know of our elopement so far and I'm dreading the coming lonely nights in my childhood bed. As I write, I'm shaking my head wondering how you ever left your Jane to go off to war. _

_I hope your transition from fighting the war back to civilian life has been an easy one, though somehow I doubt that it has. I pray you've managed well. Deep down, I pray that not only for you, Jane, and your boys but also selfishly for me. Knowing you've managed all right will give me some hope for myself. Don't let your head swell when you read this, but I've always looked up to you. I could use my friend and his seasoned words of wisdom to help see me through right now. _

_I'll leave you with a happy thought. I met Colonel Swan in Easton. (Not to say that is my happy thought.) It turns out he lived in the same town as Alice and had known her for many years. It's more than a coincidence, but I'll fill you in on why later. For now just picture our steadfast colonel ready to breathe fire, chew up and spit out young soldiers, kowtowing to my five foot tall Mrs. and his one year old grandbaby who by the way calls him papaw. I have to say, Alec, after witnessing that, I know I've now seen everything. _

_I'll write again once the date for the wedding is set. I sincerely hope to see you there._

_All the best to you and yours, my friend,_

_Jasper_

aj**AJ**aj

The dust of their weeklong travel had settled into every conceivable crevice of Alice's car. By the time they'd reached Jackson, Tennessee, they seemed to be carrying an awful lot of each little town's dusty roads with them. Although the dirt was an annoyance, it did little to distract from the views. Each sunrise and sunset was a sight to behold. Jasper took in each one as if it was an oasis for his lost soul. In a sense it had been. Familiar and unfamiliar sights made him smile. Everything from the sleek shine of new Buicks, Hudsons, and Studebakers to the cheerful whistle of a gas attendant made him happy to be home. Attendants pumped gallons of gas instead of liters of petrol and once more dollars made purchases while pounds were something you gained after a hearty meal. Jasper was sure he'd put back at least five of the ones he'd lost while abroad. They ate chicken and biscuits in Jackson and sliced pork barbecue, baked beans, and slaw in Arkansas. He spared no expense when it came to dining or purchasing anything pleasing to Alice's eye for he felt rich in love and in money with Alice on his arm and the last two years of his GI salary in his pocket. Though he'd have to watch pennies more closely once they settled, he took each day for the gift that it was and tried to enjoy it to the fullest. That was the only thing Alice had asked of him, and he was doing his level best to honor that request.

Each time she laughed at one of his lame jokes or flashed a secret smile in his direction, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. It was a week of discovery and their own private honeymoon as they traveled the country together. That's not to say all of their talks went smoothly. On the seventh day of their trip, somewhere between, Little Rock and Texarkana, Alice felt the need to voice an apology. Her simple statement kicked off an argument neither of them could have anticipated.

"Jasper, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way my father treated you."

Jasper turned his head curiously from the open road, wondering exactly she was apologizing for; he felt no ill will toward Mr. Brandon.

Alice sighed. She was still embarrassed about the way her father cross-examined him, and in her own dining room no less.

"He shouldn't have been so rough on you about your intentions."

Jasper laughed at the way the word _intentions_, came out of Alice's mouth. It was as if the word was as horribly old fashioned as the idea of her father was trading her to Jasper for five sheep and a small dowry.

"He was just doing his job, Alice," Jasper soothed.

"His job?"

She knew Jasper was trying to let her father off the hook so as not hurt her feelings but in Alice's opinion, her father's display was both infuriating and rude.

"Yes, his job. It's his job as your father to be sure you're well taken care of."

Alice's mouth puckered at the idea that she needed to be taken care of. She'd been doing it on her own for several years and quite successfully at that.

"I respect my father. I know he loves me. In turn he should respect that I would not choose a man who wasn't a worthy and honorable person."

"I took no offense to his questions, Alice. He was only looking out for you."

"_I _took offense to them. I'm not eighteen years old, Jasper I'm a grown woman. Wasn't the fact that you were my choice good enough?"

"Of course that's important, but there's something inherent in a man that drives him to protect—"

"Jasper Whitlock, if you say the delicacies of a female, I'm going to throttle you," she replied curtly, growing more frustrated by the minute.

"If you're asking me to deny that I'd protect you in the same manner then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to only punch my good arm."

"Don't you see? That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you. I don't need protection! I'm perfectly capable of choosing a man for myself. And I can assure you I wouldn't aim for your arm," Alice challenged. "I'd aim for your head because right now you're being infuriating!"

"And you're being pig headed," Jasper shot back. "Alice, if we're lucky enough to be blessed with girls, I will most certainly expect their future beaus to ask me for their hand in marriage. If they're not man enough to look me in the eye and ask, then they're not man enough to take my daughter's hand."

"Oh, they'd be _your_ daughters. Yours, not ours?"

"No!"

"What? _No?_" she barked accusingly.

"I mean, yes. They'd be our daughters. _Argh!_ Fine if you want them to ask us both, Alice, then they can ask us both."

_"Fine."_

_"Fine."_

The couple fell silent for a moment. Hearts racing, blood pumping in the aftermath of their first quarrel. The irony of the fact that they were arguing over imaginary future daughters and future beaus was lost on both of them. To Alice, Jasper was stuck somewhere in the early 1900s. To Jasper, Alice was denying a man the right as husband to look after her. (Even if she could already look after herself.)

By the time they'd stopped for supper the silence between them had stretched for over an hour. Both felt uncomfortable but steadfast in their beliefs. Jasper turned in his seat to face his wife who was purposefully ignoring him by looking out her window.

"Alice, can you see why protecting my children and the love of my life would be more important to me than anything else?"

"Yes, if you can see why I want to walk beside you through life and not behind you. Don't take on more than you need to alone, respect me enough to let me share the load."

And suddenly they were talking about more than phantom future offspring. Jasper weighed Alice's words for a few moments before letting out a heavy breath that sounded more like an exhale of defeat.

"Don't sell your house," he finally whispered looking down at his hands.

"What?"

"If you want me to share the load then I'm asking you to not sell your house."

"I don't understand. The extra money could help us start our new life. And although Cindy doesn't need the money right now, I'm sure her half would help with child rearing when the time came. Collin is still just starting out as a reporter."

Alice looked over at Jasper who had his head hung low and his eyes shut.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Here you are opening up to me like I asked, and I'm already shutting you down. I have a lot to learn too," she said, stroking back the hair that had fallen into his eyes. "Tell me why you don't want me to sell it."

"Because I don't know if we'll be able to make it with me as a rancher. The work is hard and I don't know if my arm will ever be the same."

Alice's heart broke as she watched Jasper's face crumble with the weight of his confession. She quickly moved to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Jasper, it will be okay. You said yourself it will just take time."

"I know what I said, Alice. I'm just not sure that it's true."

"Your father and Sam will help. I know it."

Jasper looked up from Alice's shoulder and in his eyes she could see a longing to be whole. He didn't want to have to depend on anyone. It was a need she herself understood all too well.

"I won't sell the house," she promised with a reassuring shake of her head. "Maybe we could rent it for the year and see what happens?"

Jasper nodded and let out a breath of relief.

"Thank you for understanding," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," she answered without missing a beat. "Thank you for letting me into your mind as well as your heart. It means more to me than you could ever know."

Jasper's lips found Alice's and they soon discovered that making up was the best part of having a fight.

aj**AJ**aj

The morning of the final day of their drive was filled with a nervous energy. Jasper couldn't keep from imagining the look on his parents' faces, while Alice fidgeted in her seat hoping she'd make a good impression on her in-laws. Mae Whitlock had been very gracious in her response to Alice's letter of introduction last month, but things were certainly different now. Alice hoped she'd be seen as good enough in his family's eyes. Suddenly Alice had a whole new appreciation for Jasper's turn before her father's firing squad.

Jasper chanced a look at his wife as he made the final turn down the dirt road that led to his family's farm. Alice was beautifully flushed from the Texas heat and yet the manner in which she fidgeted let him know she was nervous.

"It will be fine," he soothed. "They're going to love you. My ma will be overjoyed and my pa will ask me what I did to hornswoggle you into being at my side."

Alice smiled a little as the car rolled slowly along the dirt drive and up to the house. Jasper shut off the ignition and grinned in excitement. Once more he was startled by the nervous look on Alice's face. Impetuously he reached over, took her by the back of the neck and kissed her…_hard_. By the time he let up they were both breathing a bit hard and suddenly Alice's flushed face had nothing to do with her nerves.

"I love you," he said determinedly, making sure she felt his love all the way down to her toes. "Come on, let's go."

Jasper hopped out of the car and ran around to Alice's side. He was lifting her hand to help her out when the front porch door swung open and an anxious looking gray haired woman stepped out. She was drying her hands with a dish towel and raised her eyes toward Alice's sedan parked along her drive. A second later realization lit her face, erasing the wrinkles of worry that lined her face and replacing them with the brightest smile she'd worn in two years.

"Sam! SAM, HE'S HERE!" Mae shouted.

The chickens in the yard clucked furiously at the old woman as she tore off the steps. She hit Jasper full on and wrapped him in the tightest hug she could muster. Jasper did his best not to wince in pain for he would not allow himself to bring this woman any more worry over him. Not if he could ever help it. Mae was crying and laughing, shouting at him for making her worry and kissing his cheeks all over. Her eyes were bleary with tears, but her smile held a joy Jasper thought he'd never see on his mother's face again. His father, Sam, came hobbling off the steps to meet them, choked with emotion. Jasper heard him crying, "My boy, _my boy_ is home."

Alice could only watch with her gloved hand covering her mouth. She was trying desperately to hold back her emotions as she watched Jasper's father wrap his arms around his boy. She'd never expected to witness such emotions between a father and a son. After a few minutes of watching Sam embracing Jasper, she knew she'd been right about Sam Whitlock all along. He was a man who truly loved his son. Alice looked away feeling embarrassed to be intruding on such an intimate moment. She clasped her hands together realizing that she was trembling with emotion herself.

After a few more moments to enjoy his reunion, Jasper released his father and turned back to Alice. He stretched out his hand to her and a huge smile appeared upon his face when she took it. With an incredible feeling of pride he turned back to his tearful parents.

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet the love of my life. _This_ is my Alice."

* * *

_A/N: __Thanks for following along with this story. I'll see you next week. ;)_

_If you get a moment me know what you think,_

_-FirstBlush_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 37 A Road Less Traveled

**Story reference: **Charlie describes meeting Bella's mother Renee in Illinois at a Walgreens where he worked as a Soda Jerk.

**Historical Significance: **A soda jerk is the name given to

**Source: **http:/www(dot)walgreens(dot)com/marketing/about/history/hist3(dot)jsp

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Soda_jerk

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper describes eating chicken and biscuits in Jackson and pork BBQ in Little Rock

**Historical Significance: **Web research wasn't much help in finding local fare for AK, so I turned to this interesting page on presidential food favorites for help.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)foodtimeline(dot)org/presidents(dot)html#clinton

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper describes seeing shiny new American cars on the road during their drive to Texas, including Buicks and Hudsons.

**Historical Significance: **Postwar car production began as early as spring 1945 and continued to pick up as American manufacturing turned from military needs back to consumer goods.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)(dot)au/car_spotters_guide_usa_1946(dot)htm


	38. Chapter 38 Finding Home

******__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading. U2Shay, thank you for talking me through all of the changes on this one._**

_A/N: Thanks for your patience with me last week while I re-worked this chapter. Shay, thank you my friend, you were right. The improvements were worth all of the re-writes. Thank you_.

* * *

**Finding Home**

Alice's first few days with the Whitlocks were filled a flurry of visitors who tearfully welcomed Jasper home. Despite all the new faces surrounding her, Alice felt strangely as ease. The visits made by these unfamiliar faces gave her the opportunity to see the very core of the man with whom she'd fallen in love. His laughter with old friends, playful teasing with his nephews and the adoration of his parents all confirmed that Jasper Whitlock had indeed been a man worth waiting for.

Of all the friends and family Alice had met, she took most easily to her new sister-in-law. Emily Whitlock was in her late thirties with wisps of gray feathering the dark hair that surrounded her sun weathered face. She'd smile indulgently when her husband kissed her on the cheek and stifle unladylike words when her teenage boys trudged dust and dirt through her back door. She held both of Alice's hands when they'd made their introductions and, overcome with emotion, she immediately pulled Alice into a tight hug. Through Emily's tears of joy, Alice realized that Jasper was every bit a little brother to Emily as he was to Sam.

Sam Whitlock, though nearly a mirror of Jasper in looks, was almost his opposite in personality. Sam was quiet and reserved, keeping his thoughts mainly to himself. The only time Alice truly saw the man come alive was when he looked adoringly at his wife. On the night Jasper came home, Sam sat stoically and chewed his dinner quietly while Jasper answered questions. Like he had with Alice's family, Jasper gave only sparing details on what had happened to him in Germany. Alice knew that Jasper was being mindful of his mother, his sister in law the impressionable ears of his young nephews.

Alice was helping clear the table from that first meal together when she spied Sam walking through the screened front door. She paused in her gathering and watched as Sam sat on the porch step and put his head in his hands. Alice could see the large man's shoulders shake as he was overcome with emotion. She wanted to shut her eyes and leave the obviously proud man to his private moment, but the pitiful sight of him wrought with such grief was impossible to ignore. Alice quietly excused herself from the lady Whitlocks standing over by the sink and went off in search of Jasper. She followed the sound of his voice until she reached him in the den with his father. They were musing over the letter of regret Sam Sr. had received from Colonel Swan.

Alice stood in the doorway, quietly watching father and son. Jasper was taller than his dad by a few inches and broader in the shoulders. His wiry waves came from his father as did his bright blue eyes. Their gestures were the same. They both shrugged a bit when they laughed and smirked with only the right side of their faces. Alice noticed how Sam Sr. would suck his teeth after he puffed his pipe, and she sincerely hoped that this would be one trait that would remain solely with the eldest Whitlock.

"Excuse me," Alice called softly from the doorway of the den.

Both men turned at once. Sam's eyes shone brightly with happiness as his gaze flitted back and forth from Alice to his son. While Sam smiled with mirth, Jasper's smile was enough to lift the rafters off their old barn.

"Alice, come here, sweetheart," Jasper called with his good arm outstretched.

Alice couldn't help but smile every time she heard Jasper call her that.

"I was just telling Pa a bit about what it was like to serve under Colonel Swan. Don't worry," he said lowering his voice. "It hasn't all been derogatory," he finished with a wink.

Alice couldn't help but laugh at Jasper's mischievous grin. He was too beautiful to look at without wanting to place her lips upon his. She was already missing the warmth of his arms and the feel of the gold band that was currently residing on a chain around her neck.

Jasper's lips were too perfect, too full, too…_off limits._ Alice internally sighed at her predicament. Having already decided to keep their elopement a secret, Jasper's lips would remain off limits until they could have a proper wedding. Jasper promised they'd be married well before Christmas, but after only one afternoon Alice felt their nuptials couldn't come fast enough. It was going to be a very _long_ month.

Alice bowed her head and licked her lips to clear her mind of Jasper's entrancing gaze.

"I need to…to get back and help," Alice said slowly.

Alice could feel her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She, a college educated woman, was acting like a schoolgirl around the prettiest boy in the class. Her simple response made her sound as if her degree should have been written in crayon rather than embossed with gold ink.

_Darn the power this man holds over me._

"Oh, okay," Jasper answered a bit confused, although obviously amused with his wife's clumsy speech.

"It's just," Alice continued ignoring Jasper's ever growing smirk. "I think Sam _needs_ you."

The smirk fell. "All right," Jasper nodded as he bent down to look into Alice's eyes.

He took her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, sending shivers up and down her spine. Alice wondered if they could plan a wedding in days instead of weeks.

"Dad, I'll be—"

"Go on. Go." Sam Sr. nodded toward the front door. "You can finish your story another time."

"Tomorrow," Jasper promised.

Sam Sr. stood frozen, looking as though he were trying very hard to choke down swallow. After a few silent moments, he nodded back at his boy.

"Tomorrow," he confirmed with a slight tremble in his voice.

Alice had to look away from the message flitting back and forth between father and son. Jasper was promising his father they'd have another day to talk, to laugh and celebrate his return. But Sam's eyes held a fear Alice knew all too well. Sam nodded and forced himself to smile. His eyes briefly moved to Alice and in that second she saw deep gratitude for the return of his youngest boy. Jasper stepped forward and hugged his old man tightly, then without another word, led Alice from the room.

They'd no sooner cleared the hallway when Alice hoisted herself up on her tiptoes to pull Jasper into her arms. The emotions of the day were already so high and she didn't know if she'd have the strength to keep herself from crying again. Like Jasper's father, Alice also counted her blessings that he was warm and whole and wrapped in her arms. She kissed Jasper on the cheek, closing her eyes and reveling in the strength she found within his embrace.

"Sam needs you," she whispered. "Go to him. He's out on the front porch."

Alice released Jasper, but he didn't pull away. Instead he gave her the searing kiss she'd been longing for all afternoon. One hand braced them against the wall, while the other cradled the back of her head. For a moment the pair forgot they were standing in his parents' living room. Jasper's tongue swept across Alice's lower lip and his heavy breaths matched hers. He slid his hand from behind her head down her chest and over the chain that held her wedding band.

"I love you," he said.

Alice had to close her eyes; the intensity of his stare was too much. She wrapped her arms around his waist placing her head against his chest to listen to his heart as it beat.

"I love you too."

Alice squeezed him a little tighter before releasing him and pushing him gently in the direction of the front door. Yes, she needed to be in his arms, but at that moment, his brother needed him even more.

Jasper steeled himself before stepping out onto the porch. The stars beamed down upon his brother who still had his head in his hands. Sam lifted his head slightly when he heard the creaky door.

From where Alice was standing, she could see Sam's swollen eyes. She watched as Jasper's heavy boots clumped forward so he could take his place beside his brother. They sat motionless for a few moments, not speaking, not moving until Jasper finally put his injured arm around his brother's shoulders. Alice turned away when she saw Sam slowly turn and lean his head into Jasper's chest. His shoulders shook with sobs as his hands began grasping and holding onto his baby brother for dear life. Alice stood for a moment watching the pair as tears streaked down her cheeks. Finally, the sounds of light banter over a sink full of dishes called out to her. Turning back toward the kitchen, Alice hoped to delay the women and give the brothers time for a long overdue heart to heart.

aj**AJ**aj

"Alice dear, are you feeling all right?" Mae asked with a playful tease sounding in her voice.

Alice had walked into the Whitlock's kitchen on the third morning of their stay with one hand rubbing sleepily over her eyes and the other blindly searching for a seat at the kitchen table. She was utterly exhausted. Despite being a guest in the Whitlock home, she quickly became an extra set of hands. There always seemed to be more than enough chores to go around and the manual labor was more than she was used to. Alice had no idea what time it was, but the light streaming through the kitchen window explained why no one else was sitting around at the table. It was late enough to suppose she'd already missed the morning meal.

Still at the sink, presiding over the remaining unwashed pans, was Mae Whitlock. Mae was a round woman who seemed to hug as much with her bosom as with her outstretched arms. As the quintessential wife and homemaker, the elder Mrs. Whitlock moved about her home with a confidence that Alice couldn't help but find a bit intimidating. Despite years of living on her own and teaching school children, Alice was no match for Mae's practiced hands and no nonsense approach to her grandsons. Though still unsure of her role in the Whitlocks' home, Alice took solace in the kindness this woman offered whenever she smiled at her. Mae never gave Alice any doubt that she was now and would forever remain, _family_.

"Jasper was more than a bit worried when you didn't come down for breakfast," Mae said conversationally. "He wanted to knock on your door to check if you were okay, but I shooed him out the door with his pa. Last night you looked like you just needed a good long sleep."

"Oh," Alice answered, a little embarrassed. She looked at her wrist but realized her watch was still lying on top of the bureau upstairs. "I'm sorry I wasn't down to help you with breakfast. May I help you get ready for lunch?"

Mae chuckled. "Lunch was an hour ago, darling. Sit down. Eat something; then I'll send you out to the men with some iced tea. Jasper will be a right bit relieved to see you. I swear that boy is head over heels for you."

"The feeling is mutual," Alice mumbled around one of the warm biscuits Mae had pulled from the oven and set before her.

Mae smiled and patted Alice's hand before setting a large frying pan on the stove. Moments later bacon sizzled and a hearty helping of eggs adorned Alice's breakfast/lunch plate. Mae busied herself with the water boiling on the stove for the tea while Alice plowed through breakfast. She ate as if she hadn't seen food in days rather than hours. Mae's biscuits were simply too good to pass up, and somewhere in the back of her mind Alice realized that after a month of living under the Whitlock's roof, the waistlines of all of her dresses were certainly going to shrink.

When she was finished, Alice stood and moved toward the sink intending to do up the dishes, but Mae just shooed her away.

"Go bring the boys the tea," Mae ordered. Her smile was kind but knowing. "If you don't show that pretty face of yours in that paddock shortly, Jasper will be charging through that door to find you himself."

"He needn't worry."

"Aaah, but he does. He loves you. He'd do anything for you…" Mae trailed off.

Though the words were not spoken, Alice understood the meaning behind Mae's statement.

_Jasper would do anything for me, even move back east if I didn't want to stay. _

The women's eyes met and an understanding passed between them.

"I'd do anything to make him happy, Mrs. Whitlock."

"I keep telling you it's Mae, and I hope someday soon _Ma._" She smiled. "You're a lovely girl, Alice. I knew that the moment I read your letter. Just like I know you'll take care of Jasper for me. That boy can be a right bit of a handful," Mae added, laughing a bit at her own joke. She lifted her hand to Alice's cheek. "Just remember that the best matches are a give and take, child. That's the best advice I can offer. You needn't sacrifice everything to make him happy, nor should he for you. A good match will allow you both happiness in the life you make _together_."

Mae hugged Alice tightly, filling her with the scent of nutmeg from a freshly baked peach pie. When she finally released Alice from her hug, she fanned her face then picked up the corner of her apron to wipe away a few of her fallen tears. Mae turned back to the counter, picked up the tray of tea and glasses, and abruptly kicked Alice out of her kitchen.

"The biscuits and jam are for Jasper!" she called out as Alice made her way across the yard.

"And if Sam complains, tell him I said he doesn't need any more meat on his bones. They're to put some back on Jasper's skinny hide."

Alice turned back with a smile and nodded then resumed her march toward the paddock.

Sam Whitlock had both elbows folded over the top rail of the paddock's outer fence. He heard Alice's light footfalls and the tinkling of the ice in the glasses as she approached. He turned and gave her a wide smile as if he was a young boy who'd just seen the newest toy emerge from Santa's pack. His beautiful blue eyes were not hidden by the deep wrinkles that lined his face. If anything, they were a glimpse of youth still held within a well weathered face. Sam Sr. held an air of quiet confidence that Alice understood could only be earned by years of struggle. For a moment she wondered if this was how Jasper would look after another forty odd years.

Before Alice could finish her thought, Sam approached and lifted the tray from her arms. Alice smiled in thanks, happy to be relieved of the weight. She realized with a melancholy smile that she'd need a lot more time on the farm before her muscles were used to all the manual labor.

"Jasper's been lookin' up toward the house for you all day." Sam grinned. "The only way I was able to take his mind off it was to send out Rupert."

"Rupert?" Alice asked before she remembered the name of the horse Jasper said would kick up a _helluva fuss_ if he wasn't fed first thing in the morning.

"Yeah, Rupert was the last horse Jasper tried to break before he left for the war. Sam Jr. and I finished the job for him, but Rupert's still got a wild streak about him. I thought Jasper might have his hands full, but it seems," Sam smiled widely as he glanced over his shoulder, "that he hasn't lost his touch."

Alice's eyes followed Sam's gaze. She was worried about what a wild horse could do to Jasper's injured shoulder, but her fears were eased as she looked across the paddock. Alice stepped up to the rail and set her eyes upon the most beautiful sight she could have imagined.

Jasper stood with the afternoon sun at his back. A hazy dust settled as the horse he was tending came and stood proudly before him. The sunlight glowed around him, lighting the ends of his wispy hair as it floated with the breeze. His left hand held a tall horse's bridle while the right gently stroked its long nose over and over again. Jasper's head was very close to Rupert's and his lips moved as if he were entrancing the horse with his words. After a few more moments of coaxing, Jasper released the bridle and shakily lifted his bad arm to pat the horse's back. Rupert nickered and tossed his tail, but Jasper continued to soothe and settle him. The sight of them together was truly stunning. Jasper's gift for taming was apparent, even to Alice. She watched and watched, soaking in the breathtaking view of her beloved in his element. He was perfect, confident and strong. Alice had to cover her mouth with her hand to hold back a sob. This beautiful man who'd captured her heart was most certainly _home_.

The wind picked up, tossing Jasper's hair into his eyes. He moved the hand that was stroking Rupert's nose to brush it away. His vision lifted to Alice leaning over the top rail and his eyes flashed with childlike delight. The smile gracing his face grew so wide Alice felt as though her heart would surely break. The momentary distraction allowed Rupert to kick up. A tremor of fear flowed through Alice as the massive animal sent out a puff of air, resulting in an enormous snort. Rupert jerked away from Jasper's calming touch and bolted off to the far corner of the fence. Jasper let out his own disgusted grunt, then tore off in Alice's direction, grinning like a fool.

Sam winked at Alice then quickly took his leave. He gathered the small sack of food from her hands and headed off in the direction of the barn to find a shady spot.

Seconds later Jasper leapt up to the second fence rail and leaned over to kiss Alice deeply.

"Are you okay?" she asked, running her fingers over his sun warmed cheeks.

"I'm fine. He shouldn't have gotten away from me like that. I'm just—"

Jasper was about to say out of practice when Alice halted his words by pressing her lips to his. Jasper's fingers wound around her back, clutching the fabric so tightly Alice feared the seams would give. His lips were warm and he smelled of sun and sweat. His whole body seemed to vibrate with happiness beneath her fingertips.

"You're amazing," Alice breathed when their lips finally parted.

"Thank you." He grinned. "You're pretty amazing yourself."

Alice opened her mouth to contradict him when she realized with a flush of red cheeks what Jasper was implying.

"I meant with Rupert!" she shouted.

Jasper laughed. "I know, but I'd like to think you meant I was amazing with Rupert _and_ in my kissing."

Jasper's beautiful blue eyes were dancing with mischief.

"You're incorrigible." Alice groaned as she shook her head. She was working very hard to hold back her own laugh. "I need to warn your mother."

"Warn my mother?" Jasper croaked. "Why? Surely she doesn't need to know about my expert kissing, although if you'd like to share the news with her, I won't stop you."

"I need to warn her to save you some lard! I'm certain you're going to need it in order to get that enormous head of yours through her front door."

Jasper laughed even harder this time. He pulled Alice toward him and kissed her fervently. His lips played softly with hers, taking them one at a time, asking her to open for him. She relented instantly, her exasperation forgotten as his lips pressed against hers. Another mischievous grin spread across Jasper's face as he pulled away from her.

"Come on," he called, extending his good arm toward her.

"Where are we going?" Alice replied as she ran a few steps to catch up with him and take his outstretched hand.

"You'll see."

A few moments later they arrived at the barn that housed the Whitlock's horses. Alice wrinkled her nose at the idea of kissing among the smell of muck but did her best to shrug it off. Whatever they were doing was making Jasper smile, and that in turn made Alice very happy.

Jasper stopped at the second stall and waved his arm, presenting the horse within it to Alice.

"This is Charlotte," he announced proudly.

"Hello, Charlotte." Alice smiled. Jasper's wide grin was infectious.

"You'll be getting to know Char real well, Alice. Today I'm going to give you your first riding lesson."

Alice's face lit at the idea of fulfilling the promise they'd made in their letters long ago.

"You remembered!"

"Of course," Jasper grinned.

Alice leapt forward in excitement, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. She could feel Jasper's shoulders shake with laughter at her excitement. For so long she'd imagined them galloping through the fields, chasing each other, laughing and enjoying everything the land had to offer. Her visions always included a tall, proud Jasper leading the way, clutching the reins and urging his horse faster as it leapt over obstacles. Alice suddenly stiffened within Jasper's embrace. Her vision of racing through the fields side by was replaced with him being thrown from his horse. Alice went white as a ghost, realizing how easily he could get hurt managing a horse like Rupert with an ill working arm.

Jasper released her and stepped back wondering why she'd suddenly gone cold. He gently cupped her cheek, hoping he could read what was wrong by the look in her eyes. When Alice finally lifted her chin, he saw her eyes were swimming in tears. One thing was shining undeniably in those beautiful gray blue orbs…_fear._

"Alice, what's wrong?" he asked starting to panic.

"I'm afraid," Alice said barely above a whisper.

This was not fear of riding a horse. It didn't matter whether this was her first riding time or not. What Jasper saw was a terror deeply etched within her nightmares.

_Nightmares… _The realization hit Jasper like a steam engine.

This was exactly how Alice had looked the morning she woke and thought his return had all been a dream.

"Alice," he said gently taking her hands in his. "I'm here, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. Please believe that."

Alice closed her eyes, absorbing his tender words and sealing them within her heart. A tear rolled down the curve of Alice's cheek. She was trying so hard to hold back her emotions before looking back up at him, but her tears continued to fall and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"I'm trying, but I can't stand the idea of you getting thrown or hurt. It tightens like a vice around my chest and I can't breathe. It kills me. I can't—not again."

Alice tried to finish her thought, but the lump in her throat hardened and a sob broke from her. Jasper pulled her into his arms. He hated what his disappearance had done to her.

"You have me for eternity, Alice," he whispered, lowering his head to place his lips against the ring hidden beneath her shirt. "Neither of us can predict the future, but I believe it when you say someone up there is looking out for us. I wouldn't have survived those months in the forest if we weren't meant to have a lifetime together."

He held her tightly for a moment before he spoke again.

"You once asked me to let you in, Alice; I ask you to do the same."

Alice nodded into his chest, unable to answer him in words. He was right; she couldn't help him with his fears if he didn't confide in her. He needed her to do the same. They embraced until Alice finally found her voice.

"My biggest fear is losing you."

Alice shut her eyes as those words left her lips. She felt Jasper's arms encircle her, cradling her. He stroked her hair and lifted her chin to kiss her reverently.

"You're not getting rid of me anytime soon. Not even if I leave my dirty socks on the floor."

A sputtering laugh erupted from Alice at Jasper's awful joke. Picking up his dirty socks was the one thing she'd asked of him the night they were married.

"Alice," Jasper began, tilting her chin with the tip of his finger. "I would never suggest going on a ride with you if I couldn't handle the horse. I would never do that to you, I swear."

"Okay," she sniffed.

"Okay you believe me?" he asked.

Alice nodded. "I do. I never doubted you. I just—" Alice paused to frame the words so he could understand. "Jasper, remember when you asked me to see why protecting your children and the love of your life would be more important to you than anything else?"

Jasper nodded as he covered her body with the protection of his own.

"I ask you to do the same, Jasper."

The realization struck him hard, like a ton of bricks upon his chest. It took her confession for him to see that his need to protect her was as great as hers. Finally understanding, he kissed away her tears with his soft lips then deepened it until they were both left gasping for air.

Alice let out a shuddering breath and blinked once, then twice, shaking off burning embers of their kiss before she could speak.

"Can I still have my lesson?"

Jasper stared dumbly wondering why, after confessing her fears, she'd still want to go. He pulled back, holding her by the shoulders, searching her beautiful face for the answer. A smile graced his lips as he saw determination set in her eyes. She wasn't going to allow her fears hold either of them back. He was amazed by her almost as much as he adored her.

"You still want to go on a ride? Right now?"

Alice nodded and wiped the stray tear that rolled down her cheek.

"I trust you."

"Char's real gentle, Alice, and I'll be close by if anything spooks her."

"Can we ride together? I mean just the first time or two?" she asked.

"I'd like that very much." He smiled.

"Me too, just let me go get—"

Alice froze before she could finish. She turned on her heels and ran out of the barn.

"I'll be right back," she called over her shoulder as she went.

Alice remembered Mae's warning and took off in search of Sam. Sure enough the elder Whitlock's lips were covered in jam when she found him sitting under a shady tree. She shook her head and put her hands on her hips. Sam looked over at her and for just a brief second he had the decency to appear chagrined.

"Mae packed them for the boy, didn't she?"

Alice nodded. Sam sighed, packed up the remnants of the treat, took a huge gulp of tea, and handed the bundle back to Alice.

"Sorry." He shrugged. "There's still a few left in there, though."

A long whistle called Alice's attention back to the paddock.

"Come on, darlin'! Daylight's burning."

Sam chucked and waved Alice off. "The boy's right. Go on. _Get_."

With the pack flopping in the wind, Alice ran for the fence line where Jasper was up on top of none other than Rupert. Alice stilled as she caught sight of the horse. He looked nearly twice as tall as Charlotte up close.

"Come on, Alice," Jasper called out as gently as if he were calming a skittish mare. "Climb up on the rail, then swing your leg over and sit in front of me. Pa will hold Rupert steady. We'll be all right."

Alice took a deep breath and pushed her concerns aside. If Jasper said he could handle it, then she would put her faith in him.

_I always have._

Sam dutifully held Rupert's bridle as Alice swung her leg over the fence and into the saddle. Jasper helped her settle into place then picked up the reigns with his good hand. His weak one was wrapped protectively around Alice's middle.

"Ready?" he breathed into her ear with a bright smile of excitement etched across his face.

Alice mustered a smile and a nod. Where he went, she would follow.

"I'm ready."

Sam pried open the gate and Jasper made a clicking sound with the side of his mouth. Rupert lurched forward and Alice flinched at the motion of the earth moving beneath her without her direction. The horse was so powerful it didn't seem to be bothered by the weight of both her and Jasper upon its back. Alice was rigid. It was more than a bit unnerving that something so large was carrying her away with her having absolutely no control over it.

"Come on, Rupert," Jasper called excitedly, while giving Alice's belly a squeeze. "Let's give Alice the grand tour."

Alice felt the horse shudder beneath her. Rupert pricked his ears and lowered his head as his powerful hind legs kicked into a trot. Jasper leaned forward over Alice balancing them both against the backward pull of Rupert's stride. Once they were beyond the paddock, Alice let out a yelp of both excitement and fear as Rupert hastened to a gallop.

Wind whipped through her hair, pulling free long tendrils from their pins, as Rupert dashed across the field. The path Jasper had chosen took them across the pasture and through the fields then down a sloping line of trees. Together the three of them chased the afternoon sun. As unnerving as it was for Alice to be astride a horse for the first time, it was also unbelievably thrilling. The feel of Jasper at her back calmed her, allowing her to enjoy the views as the land stretched out before them.

The sun had bathed tufts of tall, waving grass in a golden hue. The wind made them bow and appear as though they were welcoming home their prince. Alice smiled, thinking the land was happy to have him home. Jasper was at the heart of this farm's future. Alice sensed that having him home was like the last piece of a puzzle finally settling into place.

Between seeing Jasper handle Rupert and feeling him so perfectly matched with his surroundings, Alice couldn't imagine him being more suited to a life's calling than tending this farm.

After about ten minutes of riding, Rupert slowed to a trot. Alice could feel Jasper's weight lifting from her back. She turned back toward him in question, and Jasper ducked down to rest his lips upon her ear as he spoke.

"I figured we'd give Rupert a drink before heading up to the ridge."

Alice looked ahead and realized they were approaching a large stream. A huge tree was nearing them on the right and from the scraggily look of the bark, Alice surmised that this was the mandrone tree Jasper had described in his very first letter. She looked around, trying to place the surroundings from her imagination and saw a garble of fieldstone as they neared the water's edge.

Jasper pulled Rupert to a halt and dismounted before extending his hand to Alice to help her down. She looked down at him warily.

"Come on," he urged, curling his fingers to beckon her.

Alice ignored Jasper's call, continuing to look around at the serene beauty of the land.

"Is this where, Ria…"

Jasper nodded and smiled.

"Come on," he urged again.

Alice shuddered, acknowledging that this was the place where Jasper had nearly been bitten by a cottonmouth. She didn't want to get down. In fact, she'd breathe a whole lot easier if Jasper was still sitting in the saddle behind her.

"I don't think so," Alice quipped, hoping they'd be on their way soon. "I'm still not particularly fond of snakes."

Jasper chuckled and shrugged his good shoulder. "Alice, I don't think you want to go for a swim with all your clothes on."

"What?" Alice began, but Jasper cut her off before she could finish.

"Rupert is about to get a drink, if you don't dismount, you're going to fall in, then I'm going to have to go and fetch you."

Alice still didn't like the idea but acquiesced, hoping dry land with the unlikely possibility of snakes was a better alternative than swimming in a muddy river.

Jasper bowed with a sardonic smile upon his lips. "My lady," he offered congenially with a wave of his free hand. "If you'd be so good as to dismount."

Jasper used his free hand to point to the stirrup while the other steadfastly held the reins.

As gracefully as possible, Alice fumbled a foot into the stirrup and lowered herself to the ground. Once both of her feet were securely planted, Jasper made a clicking sound and sent Rupert off to relieve his thirst.

"Sorry, milord," she said with a sarcastic demi curtsy.

Alice's pride was in the way of admitting that Jasper was only trying to save her from herself.

"Alice," Jasper laughed. "I was only teasing," he pulled her toward him and kissed her fervently. "…but you are my lady, Miss Alice." His lips played softly with hers, taking them one at a time, asking her to open for him. She relented almost instantly, her ire and embarrassment forgotten in the warmth of his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against Alice's lips, causing her to shiver. "Forgive me?"

"I'll think about it," she replied, but her tone held no malice. It sounded more like longing or lust.

"You're not really sore are you?"

"And if I were?" she breathed, knowing the angry pretense wouldn't last much longer.

"Then I'd have to work harder to earn your forgiveness," Jasper smirked as he kissed the skin along her neck and behind her ear.

"Work harder," Alice replied shakily.

Another mischievous grin spread across Jasper's face as he pulled away from her.

"Come on," he gently called. Alice blinked then stared blankly wondering why he was pulling away. She meant to protest but took the arm that he'd extended toward her. Leaving Rupert to his drink, the couple made their way over toward the Mandrone tree. Jasper looked around seemingly seeing the same setting in a different time. The landscape was dotted with golden hues painted by the afternoon sun. It glinted his wispy curls, giving him an almost ethereal glow.

"I wanted you to see this place. My life was saved here," Jasper said with a weak smile. "I lived when perhaps my time should have been up. But I have to believe there was a reason I survived, and it begins and ends with you."

"Oh, Jasper," Alice breathed overcome with emotion. "I love you so much. We're going to make a beautiful life here."

"You mean you want to stay?" Jasper asked a bit stunned by the conviction in Alice's voice. "You don't want to go home to be closer to your family?"

Up until that moment, Alice hadn't been completely sure, but now she knew she wanted them to try.

"Of course I'll miss them, but _you_ are my family, Jasper. You are my home."

Jasper's smile lit up his face and the sight made Alice happier than she'd ever felt before. She knew then, she'd made the right decision.

Jasper pressed his lips to hers in reply. "Come on," he said with a panting breath. "There's one more place I want you to see and the sun is just about to set."

Jasper whistled for Rupert, and within a few minutes they were back in the saddle streaming through the trees, and over foothills until they came to a stop at the edge of a clearing. Jasper dismounted first then helped Alice before tethering Rupert to a nearby tree.

He took her by the hand and set off for his destination. Winded and tired, Alice wondered where they were going as they continued the climb to an almost dizzying height. Jasper slowed and Alice's eyes left the ground where she was carefully watching her steps. She found the lone mandrone tree which marked the end of their journey.

It stood tall against the sky, stoic as a soldier on watch, guarding the land for those who called this place home. Though the tree glowed against the backdrop of a setting sun, it was the rolling foothills that took Alice's breath away. They practically glowed in golden hues as the sky turned from orange to the perfect match of Serena's flushed cheeks. The color then melted into lavender, mirroring the back of RJ's eyelids when he slept. Finally it folded into the deepest blue just barely outshining the color of Jasper's eyes. In every direction Alice could see the beauty of the sky God had painted. His majesty was demonstrated in a tapestry of color and in the serenity of nature's quiet call.

"It's so beautiful," Alice breathed unable to pry her eyes from the view before her.

"Yes you are," Jasper answered. His fingertips trailed up and down the exposed skin on her arm, sending shivers down her spine.

Jasper gently pulled back the hair from Alice's neck and pressed his lips to her sun warmed skin. She was the immeasurable beauty of a woman mixed with the awe filled innocence of a child. Her cheeks were flush from the climb, her beautiful round chest heaved with exertion, and her eyes looked out at his family's pride and joy with childlike delight. No matter how many times Jasper had been stunned by the beauty of the sun setting on the ridge, it was this time, this moment that would forever be etched in his memory. This was the way this hallowed place was meant to be viewed through the eyes of his lover, his wife, his heart, and most importantly, his future.

Alice made the view worthwhile. What was once a beautiful serene setting, now was truly his calling…for wherever she rested was his home.

"Alice," Jasper called. Though she was loath to move her rapt gaze from the vision before her, the way he called her name beckoned her like a warm caress. She turned to see his face as it glowed brilliantly in the sunset. He was another beautiful brushstroke held within God's canvas. She smiled brilliantly at the sight.

Jasper took a deep breath and reached for Alice's left hand. He stared at her for a moment, looking almost bewildered by his fortune. Alice's lips parted, unable to speak as she watched Jasper take a second deep breath then lower himself down onto one knee.

Still holding Alice's left hand Jasper reached inside his pocket and produced a gold band. The prongs crisscrossed at the top, holding a small diamond in their embrace. It looked like the gentle hands of her beloved encircling her heart. Jasper held the ring just before the tip of Alice's third finger.

"I've wanted to do this for a very long time, Alice. For months and months I imagined seeing your face, touching your skin, and feeling your lips against mine. But being with you is so much more than the dreams I'd once imagined. Within your arms I'm not only happy, I'm home."

Alice's tried very hard to hold back her tears, but her watery smile gave them the chance to slip down her cheeks. Her breath caught in her chest and she felt Jasper squeeze her hand in response. The strength and sincerity in his blue eyes allowed more of her tears to fall.

"Tonight I wanted to watch the sun setting in your hair on this ridge and profess my heart to you forever. The perfect moment, the perfect time, and the perfect place is no less than what you deserve. But if there's one thing life has taught me, Miss Alice," Jasper lowered his voice a bit and grinned at his choice of words, "it's that the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect moment is wherever and whenever I'm with you. I know after everything I've been through that I need you in my life, in my forever to be happy. We've shown each other we _are_ strong enough to shoulder whatever life has to offer together. I ask you, with all of my heart, to do me the honor of becoming my wife," Jasper paused for a moment smiling serenely before he added in a whisper, _"again."_

She loved that smile. She loved this man. Alice laughed through her tears and nodded. She pulled Jasper up from his knee and into her embrace.

"Yes," she cried sealing her vow with a kiss. She poured all of her heart and soul into that kiss, promising him her forever. "I will marry you, _again._ You are and always will be the love of my life."

Jasper pulled her into his arms, twirling her around, shouting in jubilation. His cries of happiness could be heard all the way down the ridge.

"I love you," he whispered as he kissed each of her eyelids reverently.

His heart, his mind, his body all called out to her. She answered.

"I love you too."

* * *

_A/N: One last chapter to go. Thank you for following on this journey with me. I've truly enjoyed it._

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think._

_-FirstBlush_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 38 - Finding Home

**Story reference: **Alice describes the engagement ring that Jasper gives her on the steps of his parents home.

**Historical Significance: **Keepsake wedding advertisements made popular in the postwar 1940's. This particular store was founded in 1930 in Syracuse, New York by the A.H. Pond family.

Its hard to know how popular engagement rings were in these days although the advertisement below suggests they were reasonably popular. My grandmother received a wrist watch similar to this one as an engagement gift. http:/www(dot)somewhereintimefinejewelry(dot)?file=assets/images/555-00067(dot)jpg&maxx=300&maxy=0

**Source: **http:/4(dot)bp(dot)blogspot(dot)com/-hyYA0qxOBM8/TeNV1h04hGI/AAAAAAAABU8/wxXOwa_3owU/s1600/style%2B-%2Bdiamond%2Bengagement%2Bring(dot)jpg

(dot)com/whyKeepsake/why_ourstory(dot)htm


	39. Chapter 39 Between a Dream and a Prayer

******__****Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.****_ Thanks as always go to my betas, U2Shay and Adt216, for their beta skills and to kejce for pre reading. U2Shay, thank you for talking me through all of the changes on this one._**

_A/N: Shay, thank you my friend_.

* * *

**Between a Dream and a Prayer**

Alice shifted the blanket covering Jasper's lap for the third time in the last three minutes, which caused him to sigh.

"I'm fine, sweetheart, just relax."

Alice nodded, but her nerves would not allow her to sit still. She knotted her fingers in her lap and felt her dry skin wrinkle under the movement. For the sole reason of having something to do, Alice reached for her pocketbook and pulled out a small tube of hand cream. The scent of peaches filled the air, calming her with the familiar aroma. Alice smiled fondly, remembering how Jasper started purchasing this scent long ago, saying if he couldn't have peach pie every night, he'd have to make due with its scent gracing her delicate skin.

With the tube resting back in her purse, Alice reached across the seat to find Jasper's hand. Jasper squeezed her weathered fingers then lifted the back of her hand to his lips. Alice let out a quiet sigh, her shoulders fell slack against the back of her seat. Jasper had always had a calming effect on her. He was the unbreakable shelter in all of her storms.

She allowed her gaze to drift to the window beside her. The grounds crew appeared to be making a few last minute arrangements before their flight left for Washington. They bustled around hefting baggage into the luggage compartment. They had a purposeful air about their movements, confident and ready in their tasks. Alice breathed deeply wishing she could feel as ready for this trip.

They were going to be in Washington for three days, returning home on Sunday with a plan to a surprise Jasper with a hero's welcome. Alice had managed to get all of their three children, six of the seven grandchildren, and seven of the nine great grandchildren to agree to meet them at the airport upon their return. Alice's eldest son, William, had promised it was going to be a homecoming his father would not soon forget.

"Ladies and Gentleman," a middle aged man called from the front of the plane. "We're all so honored to have you with us today. Our flight from Abilene Regional to BWI should take about three hours. Travel coaches will be awaiting our arrival at the airport terminal. Your team leaders have bottled water and a snack for each of you. We have a full day ahead of us, so please eat and keep well hydrated throughout the day. The drive to the World War Two Memorial should be about forty minutes. After that, we'll have a box lunch and go on to visit the Air Force, Korea, Vietnam, and Lincoln Memorials. If there's anything you need in the meantime, please don't hesitate to call on me or any of the volunteers wearing the blue Guardian t-shirts. For me and for everyone associated with Honor Flight, we thank you for your dedicated service to our country and truly hope you'll enjoy this visit."

There was a small smattering of applause and thanks from the seat rows as the man returned to his seat. Alice swallowed hard as the plane pushed back from the terminal then turned her attention to the pretty young stewardesses as they went through the safety instructions before takeoff.

Alice glanced at Jasper who was grinning as widely as he could. Half of his face stretched in a smile that reached all the way up to his ear while other half managed to curve just about an inch. His lopsided smile often reminded Alice of him as a much younger man, the way he mischievously half grinned at her was an indication of the alone time activities he'd been planning all day. Alice knew his current half smile wasn't a sign of lustful thoughts but a lingering reminder of the stroke he'd suffered last year.

The tight feeling in Alice's chest grew into a vice like grip as she recalled the panic she'd felt that day nearly one year ago. She'd watched the love of her life and her husband of nearly sixty years being wheeled through emergency room doors. Jasper had held her hand all through the ambulance ride. He couldn't speak but his eyes told her he wasn't afraid to go. He was just sad to be leaving her so soon. Later that night, he told her from his ICU bed that the eighty years he promised her on their first wedding night weren't quite up yet and he wasn't about to kick the bucket until she was ready to shove him off herself. Alice wept into his chest saying she'd never be ready for that. Then through mildly slurred speech, he reminded her of the last time he'd left his dirty socks on the floor. It made her laugh through her tears, and his light attempt at humor managed to get her through the night.

Alice's fingers tightened around Jasper's as she hefted the blanket a little higher on his chest. Jasper only rolled his eyes at her but otherwise ignored her mothering. She was being overly protective and she knew it.

"I've been looking forward to this day for a long time, Alice. If you were honest with yourself for two minutes, you'd agree that you were as well. Just enjoy the day. Please? For me?"

A small laugh escaped Alice as she watched Jasper's lopsided smile mix with the rapid blink of his eyelids. This was one of their private jokes. Long ago Alice had told Jasper she loved his sparkling blue eyes. This had made his already inflated ego expand to mammoth proportions. Thus whenever he wanted something from her, he'd bat his eyelashes like a wide eyed, over made up movie starlet. Even after all these years, she couldn't help but laugh at his attempt at manipulation. Truth be told, nine times out of ten, it _worked_.

"I'll try," she conceded, still trying hard to suppress her laughter at his antics.

"That's my girl." He winked.

The earlier trek through airport security and the subsequent boarding process had made Alice realize why she preferred to stay home. After being accosted by airport security and reminded countless times to empty the contents of her pockets, place all jewelry, belts, sunglasses, spare change, phones, and even her own shoes on a conveyer belt to be examined by x-ray, Alice was annoyed. What had they thought could possibly be construed as dangerous in orthopedic shoes? She had shaken her head in frustration then silently thanked her orthopedic surgeon that her reconstructed left knee hadn't set off the metal detector. Though the security checks on her person had been annoying at best, it was the man who had asked to pat down Jasper who was riding in a wheelchair that had completely put her off.

Alice had been about to give that security mongrel a piece of her mind when one of the little Guardian girls had patted her hand and told her this was just part of normal security procedures and that arguing with the TSA agents might actually get her ticket revoked. Alice smiled sweetly and nodded, but inside she had been wondering exactly what the mongrel thought Jasper would want to smuggle on the plane, aside from an extra jar of Ben-Gay.

Alice was grateful for the little girl who would be serving as their helper for the day. She had to split her time amongst the seven veterans on her team but seemed to spare the most time for Jasper. Alice managed well for a woman in her mid-eighties but even with her spry attitude, she appreciated the Guardian's taking turns at pushing Jasper's wheelchair.

Jasper's hand tightened around Alice's as the plane raced down the runway and began its ascent. His eyes were as bright and blue as the Texas sky and as young as a schoolboy's. Alice smiled in spite of her worries, promising herself to enjoy the day and take whatever time they had together as a gift.

"It will be all right darlin', the little Guardian gal said she'd stick to me like glue and make sure I don't get lost or fall. She gave me her word," he added with a wink.

"Yeah, I can see how much you're afraid of falling. You just want a little young blood warming up those old veins."

"Jealous?" Jasper smirked.

"Nope. I know she's just humoring you for the day. She'll go home to a young viral husband, and you'll be left with me."

"I'll be the lucky one then."

Alice shook her head and smiled indulgingly.

"You still haven't lost your touch, _private."_

"When it comes to courting you, I never will."

Three hours later, a caravan of sixty people, including twenty walking and fifteen wheelchair bound veterans, emerged from the jet way to a roar of cheers and applause. No less than a dozen sailors in full uniform welcomed each soldier and thanked them for their service. Alice watched the faces of the servicemen young and old as they shook hands. The young were honored to shake their hands and the old were humbled, for none of them, not even Jasper, thought the younger generations much cared about the war anymore. Alice smiled, realizing that today was going to be a day to prove them wrong.

As the trip coordinator had announced, coaches were waiting for them just outside the airport doors. The mid September day was sunny but cool in the nation's capital. It was truly going to be a perfect day for sightseeing. Like a slow moving train, shuttering along the tracks, the group managed the loading and unloading the elderly passengers with amazing organization and precision. Shortly thereafter, they were on their way. A happy chatter filled the coach along the route into Washington. Alice learned that the gentleman sitting across from Jasper enlisted when he was only fifteen years old. His father had signed for him, allowing him to take his post as a gunner on a warship in the Pacific.

_My God, thrust into hell at only fifteen, _Alice thought.

The chatter died down to a hushed awe as the towering Washington Monument came into view. They were getting close to their destination and nervous energy ran through Alice. Though she was loath to allow anything to enter her mind other than Jasper's health, she had to admit she was excited about seeing the memorial. This day had been a long time coming.

The World War II monument had been completed last year in 2004, but Jasper's health prevented them from making the trip. Everyone was disappointed, including Alice herself, but she'd trade any day, even a day like today, for just one more brief moment with Jasper. Each one God granted her was a gift to be cherished.

The bus came to a stop and once again the coordinator spoke, reminding the veterans to stay with their Guardians and asking the Guardians to watch out for tripping hazards. Alice didn't hear the rest of the instructions, her heart was beating too loudly in her chest. The excitement of the day was finally catching on. They had made it after a long, hard year to be here today. Jasper smiled as he took her hand in his. He looked so happy, and Alice couldn't begin to stop the smile that threatened to split her face in two.

"Ready?" he asked Alice as the little Guardian girl stepped forward to escort Jasper down the bus steps.

"Ready," Alice answered.

The monument truly exceeded all of Alice's expectations. It was larger and more beautiful than any picture she'd been shown. It looked to be about the size of a football field, encompassing a fountain surrounded by tall pillars and bronze wreaths marking the unity of each state, territory, and the District of Columbia. The monument was so open that a visitor could feel both cradled in the comfort of a grateful nation and free to stare up at the amazing September blue sky. The Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial proved stunning backdrops on either side for visitors, as they entered under the great tower marking the war waged in the Pacific. The monument was very a very humbling tribute in itself, but it was the stars marking the price of freedom that hit Alice the hardest. Each gold colored star, no bigger than her fist, represented one hundred lives lost in the war.

A cascade of water sheltered the stars from her touch. Much like the heavens sheltered those lost from the wanting, open arms of their families. The water washed over the wall of stars, bowing gracefully in a tribute to those lost from sight but not from mind or heart. To Alice, it reminded her of a stream of tears running over the curve of a soft cheek, arching until they fell to the ground, repeating their path. Though her own tears had long ago dried when Jasper came home to her, the stars represented so many others who had never received such a gift. It humbled her and made her glad that this place existed to remind younger generations of so many who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Slowly, reverently, Alice, Jasper and their guide made their way along the monument, taking in its beauty and magnificence. Bronze plates in relief depicted memories of a time over sixty years ago. Even Kilroy was found immortalized in a hidden corner. Alice watched Jasper as he took in the sights. He didn't talk much; he only smiled and nodded thoughtfully. They walked slowly on what felt like hallowed ground silently thanking those who had brought them to this day.

"Alice?" a shaky voice called.

Alice turned to see an elderly couple making their way toward them. A smiling faced woman with long, silver white hair piled in a bun was riding in a wheelchair toward them. Her mate, both tall and gracefully aged, was pushing her chair forward.

"Bella!" Alice shouted and strode quite quickly for a woman in her eighties to her friend.

The two embraced long and hard, for it had been nearly a decade since their last reunion.

"Good Lord, woman, you're old." Bella cackled.

"Yes, and I can see you've found the fountain of youth yourself," Alice retorted sarcastically.

"I have." Bella smirked. "He's right behind me. He keeps me young."

Alice lifted her eyes from Bella and walked right into Edward's open arms. He struggled to lean down and kiss the top of her head, but he managed it all the same.

"It's good to see you, Alice," he said warmly, squeezing her thin frame.

"You too, Edward. How are you?"

Edward shrugged. "I'm managing all right."

"He's the picture of health. You should see how his doctor crows over Edward's test results. He's the model patient; everyone should have cholesterol and blood pressure as good as his."

"Yes, that's what I strive for in life these days, making my forty five year old physician happy with my blood test results. What Bella isn't telling you is that she's banned anything that tastes good from my diet. What's there to live for without bacon I ask you?"

"Shut up, you old coot, I'd rather have you disgruntled and salt deprived than not at all. You're more fun this way."

Edward laughed. The years had truly been kind to him. His silver hair still fell in the same handsome part he'd had in the forties, only now graceful lines aged his face when he smiled. He was thinner for sure, but no less enamored with his wife than he had been the day Alice first met him.

"Again, Masen, I find you hogging my wife. Didn't I put a stop to that when I moved her to Texas in '45?"

Edward played along, backing away from Alice with his hands raised in surrender.

"My apologies, sir. I hadn't realized she was a married woman."

"Damn straight she is," Jasper joked.

The two men embraced heartily before being interrupted by a bellowing shout by another approaching couple.

"Damn, who the hell are these two old goats and what are they doing with my beautiful girls? Come over here and give me some sugar."

Alice's eyes grew wide.

"Emmett?"

"That's right, little bit. I see the name still fits. You haven't gained an inch in forty years. What the hell is old man Whitlock over there doing to you, anyway?"

"He keeps me on my toes." Alice beamed.

After being released from the mammoth arms of Emmett McCarty, Alice let Bella have her turn and stepped toward Emmett's wife.

"How are you, Rose?" she asked calmly and quietly.

Rosalie stared back. Her eyes glazed for a moment, then she began to squint, trying to puzzle out the identity of the tiny woman standing before her. Alice was about to make a more formal introduction when Emmett stepped over to Rose and surrounded her shoulders with one of his strong arms.

"Rosie, this is Alice Whitlock and Bella Masen," he said comfortingly. "We talked about coming to see them at the memorial today."

Rosalie smiled brightly and nodded before melting further into her husband's embrace. She closed her eyes and reveled in his comfort for a moment. She inhaled deeply and nodded once to herself before extending a hand toward Alice.

"It's good to see you…Alice, and you too, _Bella," _Rose said determinedly.

Alice stepped back as Bella extended her hands to Rose. She hesitated for a second before reaching for Bella. The two women locked eyes, and Bella tearfully smiled and rubbed the backs of Rosalie's hands with her thumbs.

"It's so good to see you too, Rose," she answered with a visible squeeze to Rosalie's hands.

Emmett swallowed hard beside Alice, and in response she wrapped a thin arm around his waist. He smiled and thanked her with his eyes before reaching for Rose's hand.

"Come on, Rosie, I have your flowers right here. We'll go lay them in front of the New York monument. They're for your brother, Arnold. He sailed aboard a navy destroyer called the USS Sumner."

Alice's heart clenched as she listened to Emmett's calming tone. She knew he was used to repeating things for Rose, helping her to disguise the effects of her illness by not asking questions or pressing for details she wouldn't be able to provide. Rosalie had been staring at Bella's face the entire time Emmett spoke. It was only when Emmett gently touched her shoulder that she released Bella. Emmett handed her a dozen red roses wrapped in cellophane and tied with a yellow satin ribbon.

"Okay, Emmett, lead the way."

"We'll see you in a few," Emmett called over his shoulder as they walked to the far side of the memorial closest to the Washington Monument.

"You okay?" Edward asked, leaning over Bella to kiss her cheek.

Bella nodded as another tear or two slipped down her cheeks. Alice knew what she was feeling. Though parts of this day were going to be wonderful, others were just going to be, _hard._

Edward nodded silently and pushed Bella toward the Atlantic pavilion. Alice held Jasper's hand tightly as they followed with their guardian in tow. The couples had agreed in advance that they would start at the Atlantic pavilion to remember the war waged on that front and honor the friends who had sacrificed so much for that victory.

Bella struggled to her feet. A hand gnarled with arthritis held Edward's arm while the other cradled her tribute. Jasper rolled forward and stopped just beside them. Alice locked the breaks of his chair for him. Despite arguments from Alice, Jasper vehemently refused to sit while honoring those lost souls. He too struggled to his feet tossing a grateful smile to the Guardian girl for helping him stand.

Edward held Bella tightly as she shuffled forward. With shaking hands, she bent down and left four red roses beneath the Atlantic arch. Alice stepped forward placing her arm around Edward who seemed overcome with emotion. Edward dropped a kiss the top of Alice's head in thanks, then backed away leaving Alice standing beside her friend. She watched as Bella reached inside her jacked and produced a linen handkerchief. She carefully unfolded it and Alice saw the imprint of a circle in the center, as if something small and perfectly round had been steamed against the fabric. Bella pressed her lips to the cloth then leaned down once more to leave her tribute behind.

"I wish Seth could have been here." Alice heard Edward say toward the sky.

"He's still a pain in the ass," Jasper grumbled teasingly in an effort to lighten the mood. "Do you know he sent me one of those twin bell alarm clocks for Christmas? Only this one had a programmable date. He set the damn thing to go off at two am on Christmas morning!" Edward snickered and Bella chuckled through her tears shaking her head. "But I got even, I sent him Vicks VapoRub and Viagra samples. I can't wait to see what I get for my birthday."

Everyone laughed but Alice just gave Jasper a knowing look. His smile was infectious as was his lighthearted joke. With just a few words, he lifted everyone's spirits and made them thankful for the wonderful friendships brought about from that terrible war.

After the Guardian aided Bella and Jasper back into their chairs, the couples found their way over to Emmett and Rosalie. The group stopped at the pillar for Maryland, just two down from the one for New York. Once more Bella rose from her chair, this time with Alice's help, and made their way to stand before the pillar. They each pressed their lips to a single red rose before placing it before the pillar's long shadow.

"My father would have approved." Bella sniffed, looking around at the beautiful tribute against the backdrop of a clear, blue September sky.

Charlie had died some thirty years prior but lived on in the hearts and minds of those that had made the trip here today.

"Your father would have kicked someone's ass for not having any of Patton's quotes carved into the memorial. He sure had a lot of them." Jasper sat tall, thrust out his chest and recited in a low, deep voice: _"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country._ And my personal favorite," Jasper added, with a conspiratorial smile: "_An army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of bullshit."_

Bella laughed, "Your probably right. But I gather it's because some of his more memorable quotes weren't fit for little children's eyes." She added pointing to what appeared to be a boy of about seven and his mother.

The couples rounded the end of the curve of state pillars and Jasper tapped the little Guardian girl's hand, asking her to stop. They were paused in front of California. Jasper smiled weakly, and Alice knew he was still missing his friend. It was Alec who had offered him friendship and advice throughout the years. It was Alec who'd given him the path to manage the ghosts of the war. Alice watched Jasper lift his hand to his chest. His fingers slipped behind his lapel and brought forth a single page. Alice knew what it was; she'd helped Jasper buy the book. It was the final page of _The Grapes of Wrath. _

An old memory flashed before Alice's eyes as she watched the page flitter in the wind. On January first 1946, Jasper told Alice about his New Year's resolution.

_"I had a long talk with Alec the night before the wedding."_

_ "Mmmhm," Alice replied without words waiting for Jasper to say more._

"_He said he could tell that thoughts of Germany and the Pathfinders was still eating at me."_

_Alice shut her eyes. It was upsetting for her to hear confirmation of worries that often plagued her mind._

"_And you agree with him?"_

"_Yes," Jasper answered without looking Alice in the eye. "Then he asked me if I wanted to go back into the service."_

_Alice's heart stopped at the thought._

"_Do you?" Alice asked shakily. _

_ "No," Jasper replied. "I couldn't do that to you, Alice."_

_ "Shouldn't or couldn't?" she asked quietly. _

"_Couldn't. I don't want to go back, Alice."_

_She looked at him almost skeptically. _

"_It's the truth, Alice," Jasper said with every ounce of sincerity he could muster. "I don't want to go back. I just want—I just want justice for them. The Pathfinders deserved more from me. It makes me sick to know I couldn't give them more."_

"_Jasper, it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. I know you did."_

"_But that didn't bring them home. I want more for them, Alice. I want people to remember them. That's what I told Alec."_

"_And what did he say?" Alice asked._

_Jasper shrugged his good shoulder. "He told me to contact my old Master Sergeant, Colonel Swan and anyone else who would listen to me about what's going on over there. I told Alec that Master Sergeant Gray said I didn't bring him enough proof, that there wasn't anything tangible he could bring to leadership. Alec wouldn't back down, he told me to stop wanting justice and to start doing something about getting it."_

_ "I think he's right."_

_ Jasper laughed humorously. "I told him it was impossible and you know what he said?_

"_No," Alice answered shaking her head._

_ "Only if you never try."_

Alice smiled softly knowing that Alec's advice hadn't fallen on deaf ears. She watched Jasper lick his weathered lips and smiled fondly at him. Jasper sat quietly, gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

"We're gonna have a little bonfire tonight, Alec." Jasper called out to the sky as he carefully put the page back into his breast pocket. "Figured you'd appreciate getting the last word." He laughed. Jasper paused for a moment then let out a heavy breath. "Thank you, Alec, for everything."

By the time the couples reached the end of the tour, Alice was completely worn out. She could only imagine what Jasper and Bella were feeling. Though both of them wore bright smiles throughout the day, Alice for was more than ready to get off her feet.

They hugged their little Guardian goodbye after exchanging addresses and promised to write after visiting the final stop on the tour, the Korean War Memorial. The bus would take the remaining vets and guardians out to dinner then back to BWI while Alice and Jasper left with Bella and Edward.

Alice watched as Jasper patted the little Guardian's hand and gave her a look that said _"best get to it." _Together they waived her off and watched the bus, amble away.

"What did you say to her?" Alice asked from the curb as the bus rolled out of sight.

"I told her to get herself in gear. No one gets anything worthwhile done by just waiting around for it to happen. She wants to be a writer, that one."

"And so you decided to give her a little nudge?"

"You could say that."

"You're too much, Jasper Whitlock."

"Too much for _her_…just right for you."

Alice laughed and kissed his weathered lips.

"That's right. And don't you forget it."

aj**AJAJ**aj

"You can forget it," Jasper said with arms folded defiantly across his chest. "I've allowed you to coddle me all day, Alice. I'm not being rolled into that dance. I'm walking in on my own two feet."

Alice stared back into his eyes, and for a moment she saw the young defiant man who'd refused to allow a bad arm to keep him from his life's calling. She could argue and sulk, cajole or beg, and the stubborn mule was not going to budge. Alice balled her hands into fists; she wanted to count to ten, but she knew Jasper would only make fun of her for doing so.

"Fine," she spat through nearly gritted teeth, turning from him to look out the window.

_I'll just come back out in a few minutes and get it myself._

"Al-ice," Jasper drawled warningly. "Trust me," he added more quietly after a beat.

Alice turned from the window and saw the _I'm not kidding_ look in her husband's eyes. Jasper wasn't playing fair and he knew it. Ever since the early days of their marriage, Jasper only had to utter the words, _trust me,_ to get Alice's attention. Those words were his way of reminding her how important it was for her to have faith in him. He didn't say it often, only when he really needed her to see something from his point of view.

"Fine," she answered, a little more dejectedly this time.

If she were being honest, she was coddling him, but in her mind it was justified. That's just what happens when you nearly lose your better half. No, she wouldn't apologize for looking after him. She wanted Jasper by her side for as long as humanly possible, but at the current moment she very much wanted to wipe that syrupy smug grin of victory off his face.

Jasper tapped the window and a young soldier in full military dress helped Jasper from the car first before assisting Alice shortly thereafter. The young lad took Alice's weathered hand and wrapped it gently over his strong arm, his white glove clad hand gently patted hers in comfort and welcome. Alice smiled pleasantly at all the careful attention and tossed her own smug grin at her husband.

Bella and Edwards' car had pulled up right behind theirs. Edward emerged first, followed by Bella. Alice smiled nervously at Edward. Both of them were worrying over Bella's chosen dress for the evening. It was a full length gown chosen specifically to hide her burns, but the length would make it easier for her to trip over it. Like Jasper, Bella had all but refused to be aided by a wheelchair for the evening. Edward went to help Bella but she shooed him away, and Alice thought she caught the words, _you can't with your bad back, Edward _coming reproachfully from Bella's mouth.

The Cannon House was more grandiose than Alice could have ever imagined. She tried hard to shed her nerves, but the splendor of the marble floors and polished chandeliers was overwhelming. She was in awe. Like many women of her day, Alice's thoughts quickly moved from the posh to the practical.

_ How does anyone ever have the energy to clean a place this big?_

The young soldier tried to make small talk with Jasper as they moved to the elevators and up to the third floor. Alice's mind whirred and for once she was glad to have a supportive arm guiding her that didn't belong to Jasper. She clutched the young soldier a little tighter as he chattered away with Jasper. He patted her hand discretely in return.

"We're so pleased to have you both this evening," the soldier said as the neared the great door of the Caucus room. "Please enjoy your evening."

With that, Jasper and Alice were stopped before a very large sign that read WELCOME PATHFINDERS. Emblazoned just to the right of the text was a flaming torch and wing, the symbol of the paratroopers. Alice's hands trembled slightly as Jasper extended his arm toward her. He wanted to enter the room with her securely by his side. Jasper rarely spoke about the months he was lost in the German forest but when he did, he'd always tell her that she'd been right there with him, giving him the strength he needed to make it out alive. She would stand beside him in person tonight.

Alice swallowed hard, trying to push down the thoughts of those dark days. She'd had a hard time sleeping when Jasper was in the hospital last year. Nightmares plagued her. In every one she was old and alone, still clutching Jasper's dog tag which hung around her neck. In her nightmares Jasper never made it home.

"Aunt Alice," a woman's voice shrieked, breaking Alice from her thoughts. Her voice carried over the music playing softly in the background. "My gosh, you look amazing."

Alice looked across the floor and immediately recognized the petite woman approaching her. She had the brown eyes of her mother and the beautician colored curls that came close to the ones she'd inherited from her father.

"Serena," Alice breathed. "My goodness child, you're an old woman!"

"And proud of it too," Serena replied with a huge grin. "I have nine grandbabies to my name, Aunt Alice."

A quiet chuckle poured forth as Alice released her escort and wrapped her arms around Serena's round waist. The years had been kind to her goddaughter. Though Serena was probably a bit fuller than when Alice had last seen her, she appeared both happy and healthy. In Alice's eyes, those were the only two things that really mattered.

"Serena, honey, you've outdone yourself," a warm voice called over Alice's shoulder.

Alice released Serena who quickly moved to her father's embrace.

"I'm so glad you like it, dad."

"Like it? Honey, it's amazing."

Jasper greeted Serena with a kiss on the cheek and turned. "Alice, there's Roger. I'll be right back."

A smile of pride graced Alice's face as he watched her husband walk slowly with his back straight and shoulders squared. He drifted toward a group of seniors standing on the outer edge of the dance floor.

"So how's RJ doing?" Alice asked Serena who had just finished welcoming her parents, then Rosalie and Emmett.

"Oh, he's sorry he couldn't be here. The team got caught up in a rainout and they had to stay an extra day in Atlanta. He sends everyone his love, and he promises he'll be at Mom and Dad's bright and early for brunch tomorrow."

Bella laughed at that. "He just wants his father's cooking. Camille is a lovely woman but she can't cook for shit."

Alice about choked and Edward's cheeks turned a little pink.

_Bella's got a lot more sass these days. Then again, maybe we're all getting too old to really care about offending people. Best to say what's on your mind and get it over with. Who knows if we'll have the chance to tell the truth tomorrow?_

"What?" Bella asked incredulously. "It's true."

"I know it is, mom," Serena said with an exasperated sigh.

"How's his team doing this year?" Alice asked to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"They're fourth in the northern division standings."

"That's good."

"Not really, there are only seven teams in the north for the minor league, Aunt Alice."

"Now, don't give him such a hard time, Serena," Edward said. "He's happy and doing what he loves to do. What more could anybody want? And you have to admit it's a step up from managing Eugene's little league teams when he was a boy."

Serena rolled her eyes and Alice had to laugh at the sibling rivalry that still existed after sixty years. It was as though Serena never got over RJ taking up some of her space in their parents' hearts.

"Aunt Alice, who's that Uncle Jasper is talking to?"

Alice peered through the caucus of finely dressed elderly men to spot the white hair and shiny balding spot on the top of Jasper's head. He was beaming brightly and beside him stood a tall, salt and pepper haired man with his arm around Jasper's shoulders.

"That's Roger Black," Alice answered fondly.

Roger was Airman Jacob Black's only child. He was barely a year old when Jacob left for the war. Jasper started writing letters to Jacob's widow a few months after he and Alice were married. Eventually he became something of a surrogate uncle to Roger growing up.

"Jacob Black's son," Serena confirmed. "Was he one of the ones who returned?"

"No," Alice smiled sadly. "Jacob didn't make it home. He was one of the men who died on the march to Moscow. Thankfully at least a few of them did."

"Uncle Jasper has a lot to be proud of."

"Not just your Uncle Jasper, but your grandfather and your parents as well."

Serena smiled widely and in that brief moment, Alice saw the tiny little girl who loved being cuddled and taught new things. Her inquisitive nature as a child had served her well over the last thirty years. Serena had followed Alice's footsteps in becoming an elementary school teacher.

"There's so much more I want to learn about what they did. I was still just a kid when it all happened."

Alice smiled and indulged Serena by telling her the story she already knew. Serena had often said that hearing stories from those who lived it was what made history come alive.

"The pathfinders were thought to be dead. Their remains were found in a POW camp outside of Magdeburg. Uncle Jasper's tags were found among the Pathfinders'. That's why we all believed he was dead as well."

Alice steeled herself for the memories that were coming. Whenever she told this story, images of Bella holding out Jasper's lone tag and telling her he was gone flashed in her mind. After a moment Serena grabbed her hand and nodded, giving her the strength to continue.

"But…the remains they found didn't belong to the Americans, they belonged to the Russian POWs who were living at the camp. The Russians killed their own men and had the Pathfinders toss their tags onto the pyre to make it look like them underneath the ash. The Americans were deemed to be _more valuable,_" Alice added in disgust. "They wanted to make sure that none of the British or American leaders had a reason to chase after them. And it would have worked…"

"If Uncle Jasper hadn't survived," Serena finished.

"Yes," Alice answered with a sigh of relief. "But he did," she said with a nod to the grinning man talking with Roger across the floor. "He got the information about the Russian's plans to his superiors. Your uncle wasn't the only one who told of the tug of war Stalin was playing with American POWs, but he had more information. He had the name of their ranking officer, their locations, and a Russian soldier who was willing to tell them everything he knew."

"That's why gramps went back."

"Yes," Alice confirmed. "He was a retired colonel," she added. "He had the most authority of all of them who knew your uncle's story. It took years of back room negotiations, but thankfully a few of the Pathfinders eventually made it home."

Serena nodded once Alice had finished. "The event here tonight is to celebrate all of them," she said solemnly. "The ones that made it home and the ones who didn't."

"And we're all grateful, especially your uncle and me. You've done a remarkable job, Serena. Please tell the congressman how thankful we are for the opportunity to celebrate here tonight."

"It took a bit of lobbying, but I'm tenacious when I want to be."

"Family trait." Alice grinned.

"Definitely," Serena confirmed.

A loud round of laughter distracted Alice from Serena. She knew before she even turned her head that Jasper would be in the thick of whatever was causing the commotion. Sure enough Jasper was gesturing wildly with his left hand as loud guffaws sounded from the men around him.

_He's like a geriatric pied piper._

"I'll talk to you soon, honey. I think I need to go save those men from your uncle. He tends to exaggerate a little from time to time."

Serena waved Alice off and Alice took the opportunity to go to Jasper and save him from himself.

"…and that's how Colonel Uley, got my attention. I was lucky he didn't crack one of my ribs! Oh, hello, sweetheart. I didn't see you there."

"I know, but I _heard_ you," Alice replied with a smug little grin.

Jasper smiled knowingly. Alice often had a subtle way of coming to his aide before he'd made too much of an ass of himself.

"Roger," Alice began opening her arms for a hug. "How's your mother?"

"She's fine," Roger answered. His salt and pepper hair did nothing to detract from the beauty of his well-aged face and dark skin. "She wishes she could have made it here, but her hip is acting up."

Before Alice could reply a voice called from over Jasper's shoulder.

"Excuse me…Professor Whitlock?"

All heads turned to a man who appeared to be in his early sixties. He was tall and fair with more dark than gray hair and deep penetrating eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, professor," the man all but stuttered.

"No, no. That's fine," Jasper answered with a welcoming smile. "It's just I haven't been called professor in years."

"Although it hasn't been that long since your last lecture," Alice teased, hoping to put the man standing nervously before them at ease. He was rubbing the back of his hand so hard with his thumb Alice feared he'd rub the skin right off. "Even though it wasn't at Texas Tech, I vividly recall a lecture last week about how young people today have no idea how to write a simple letter now that they have e-mail."

Jasper snorted a bit. Alice pressed her lips between her teeth to try and hold back her laugh. She was telling the truth. Alice smiled, remembering how that lecture ended. Alice pointedly reminded Jasper that it had been far too long since she'd received a letter from a certain someone who _did _know how to write without using e-mail.

"Touché, sweetheart." Jasper acknowledged.

Alice's smile widened at Jasper's term of endearment. Sometimes it felt the same as the first time she'd heard it.

"You must forgive my wife and me for being so rude. After nearly sixty years of marriage, we seem to have our own language and tend to get lost in it at times. My apologies, Mr…" Jasper finished leadingly.

"Mullenkamp," the dark eyes replied. "Victor Mullenkamp."

Alice had never heard the name before and turned to see Jasper puzzling over the name and face as well. The man had just the tiniest hint of an accent but for the life of her, Alice couldn't place it.

"I believe you knew my uncle, Demetri…_Petrovski_."

Alice's eyes grew as wide saucers and she heard Jasper's breath hitch beside her. Her mouth went dry as she now knew for certain that the man's accent was Russian. The noise that floated around the room seemed to blur into an indefinite hum. Frozen in shock Alice realized that the man before her was a relative of the one who'd saved the man beside her.

She could hear Jasper swallow, _hard. _"You're Demetri's nephew?"

"Yes, sir. My mother, Laina, spoke of you often."

Alice covered her mouth with her hand. Jasper wondered for years what had ever become of Demetri.

"She said you were the American that saved his life."

Jasper stepped forward shakily and took a deep breath before speaking.

"He made it? He made it to the US? He found your mother?"

Victor smiled weakly, "Yes, he found her on May 20th 1947. They met—"

"Under the Statue of Liberty," Jasper finished. "On the anniversary of your grandmother's birthday."

"Yes," Victor confirmed with a nod. He was beaming now.

"My God," Jasper said, extending his failing right arm to Demetri.

The effort it took for him to do this simple task brought tears to Alice's eyes. It was the most he could offer this man at the moment.

"How is he?"

Victor's smile slipped. "He died a few years after finding my mother. He had lung cancer. They didn't discover it until it had spread too far to be treated. I was just a boy when he died, but I can tell you my mother was so happy to have the time with him that she did."

"Your mother had the story wrong," Jasper said, his blue eyes brimming with sincerity. "It was your uncle who saved _my_ life."

Alice, who knew the whole story, placed a comforting hand on Jasper's arm.

"You saved each other, Jasper."

Victor gave an acknowledging nod of his head. "My mother would have liked to have met you but she passed away a few years ago. I only found you by reading the reply you wrote in _Time _about their article on the D-Day invasion. You leveled arguments against their rose-colored glasses view. You asked where the unity and certainty was for the POWs who were left behind. You quoted Yeltzin's admission in 1992 as proof that American POWs were left behind to wonder where their leadership and their country had fled. Those lines made me wonder if you could possibly be the right _Yas_-per my mother recalled from Uncle Demetri's stories."

Jasper smiled fondly, remembering the way Demetri pronounced his name all those years ago. He was about to ask how Victor had tracked him down when the conductor at the front of the room struck up the band. The band played a brilliant brass introduction then was quickly cut off by a flick of the conductor's wrists. The conductor then turned to the audience with a brilliant smile and announced that it was time for everyone to take their seats. Dinner was about to be served.

Jasper reached inside his breast pocket and produced his billfold. He pulled out an old weathered card from his days of teaching at the annex in El Paso and handed it to Victor.

"Please find me after dinner. This is my home number just in case we miss each other. I want to hear everything."

Alice took Jasper's hand and discretely helped him to their table near the dance floor. She could feel him trembling beneath her grasp.

"Are you all right?" she asked in a quiet whisper, wondering if she should ask Serena to drive them back to Bella's.

"I'm fine, I'm just overwhelmed. I've always wondered..." Jasper blinked as he found his seat, shaking his head once. _"He really made it."_

Alice smiled and exhaled in relief. She was very happy that Jasper chose to focus on the fact that Demetri had made it to the US, rather than the fact that he died only a few years later.

Not long after the first course ended, Bella stood and asked Rose to accompany her to the ladies room. Alice watched Edward and Emmett both visibly stiffen at her request.

"We'll be fine, boys," Bella teased as she shuffled along holding onto Rosalie's arm.

The look on Rose's face seemed to morph from one of glazed distance to someone very much aware of the person beside them. Rose seemed to realize Bella's need for a strong arm and some intrinsic force inside her remembered how to put her effort into the care of someone else. Alice swore she could see Rose's lips moving to count beats when her hand closed over Bella's wrist.

Bella looked up and smiled triumphantly. She appeared more than happy to play patient for the former Army nurse.

"How is she?" Alice asked when Rose and Bella were out of earshot.

"She has good days and bad," Emmett answered truthfully. "Fortunately today has been one of the good days."

"Are you still in that huge house?"

Emmett laughed. "Yup. Rose would never sell it. Her folks lived in it for nearly sixty years before they passed. We moved in when Rose's mom took ill, and we've been there ever since. I think it helps her being someplace that holds so many memories. I was getting too old to keep up the farm, anyway. It was time to pass it along. You understand."

And they did. Once Samuel and Jeremy were of age, Jasper started handing over the day-to-day running of the farm to the boys. By the time they were twenty-five, Jasper made the decision to go back to school. He stuck with it until he became a professor of history specializing in American Diplomatic History. Though Jasper wasn't maintaining the farm anymore, he guided the boys, helping them make decisions whenever asked.

To this day, Jasper and Alice still lived in the house they built the year they were married. Much like their marriage, the house had weathered, storms, fights, babies, and eventually grandbabies. Despite not running the farm, Jasper never lost his affection for horses. Up until his stroke last year, he took rides whenever he needed to clear his head.

"I do," Alice answered, squeezing Emmett's hand comfortingly.

The band started up again, and began playing the favorites of their era. The talk livened as did the mood around the table. Bella and Rose rejoined the group unscathed if not a little giddy from laughter. Alice smiled at Bella's wink from her seat across the table.

_Maybe what we'll remember won't be the hard parts, but the hard fought victories of this life._

The music changed again; this time soft jazzy notes filled the air as a gorgeous redhead took the stage. The song's introduction sent a chill down Alice's spine but when the singer opened her mouth to sing, the entrancing lull made the hair on the back of Alice's neck stand on end.

_I want a little, something more,_

_Don't want the middle or the one before._

_I don't desire a complicated past, _

_I want a love that will last._

"I know this song." The words flew out of Alice's mouth before she could even stop them.

Jasper turned, looking a little concerned at Alice's outburst.

"Would you like to dance, sweetheart?"

Alice should have been worried about him managing, she should have told him no, but the next chorus echoed in her ears. The pull was so strong, it made it impossible for Alice to turn Jasper down.

_Say that you love me,_

_Say I'm the one._

_Don't kiss and hug me and then try to run._

_I don't do drama._

_My tears don't fall fast._

_I want a love that will last._

Alice nodded and rose to her feet before Jasper could even think to pull his napkin from his lap. He followed shortly thereafter and extended his left hand to her. Alice placed a shaking hand in his while Jasper led her to the dance floor. He rubbed soothing circles over the back of her hand, sensing how unsettled she was. Jasper looked into Alice's eyes, then lifted the back of her hand to his lips. The motion was so loving and pure made Alice feel as if her wrinkles and age spots were there things her adoring husband never even noticed.

Together they made their way through the group of dancers and settled on the least crowded spot furthest from the tables. Jasper took Alice's hand in his and managed to press their joined hands to his heart. He dropped his head to her neck and rocked them slowly back and forth as the singer crooned the refrain.

_I don't want just a memory,_

_Give me forever._

_Don't even think about saying goodbye_

_Cause I just want one love to be enough_

_And remain in my heart till I die._

"Are you sure you're okay, sweetheart?" Jasper whispered with his lips upon her neck.

"I'm fine now," Alice sighed, reveling in the warmth of Jasper's embrace. Whatever need this song created to pull her onto the dance floor, it had been replaced with the extraordinary peace of being in her beloved's arms. Nothing on earth cold make her happier right now than the comfort of Jasper's familiar touch. His lips moved along her jaw to the tiny spot at the back of her ear that made her weak in the knees. Alice practically moaned. He hadn't done that since before his stroke. Once more the singer's sultry voice belted out. As the final lines of the both familiar and unfamiliar tune rang out, Alice felt like they were the only two people in the room. This time Alice began to sing.

_There's just a little more that I need,_

_I want to share all the air that you breathe._

_I'm not the kind of girl to complicate the past_

_I want a love that will last_

_Forever – I want a love that will last_

_Always – I just want a love that will last _

Jasper's lips found hers slowly, reverently. His kiss made her flush like a schoolgirl. She should have been wary with the other dancers surrounding them, but instead she closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling her husband in her arms. He felt confident and stronger than he had been in some time. As the refrain warbled, Jasper's kiss became more insistent, his good arm tightened around her waist pulling her closer. And in those few moments of both longing and blissful haze, Alice felt Jasper's lips growing warmer, fuller. Her heart beat faster as her fingers traced up the sleeves of his coat to encircle his neck. Her willowy fingers ran into his hair. It felt thick and full to her touch, surprising her. Jasper's tongue drove into her mouth and Alice gasped with stunned delight. This was far more amorous than she could ever remember him being in public. His kiss grew more aggressive, tracing, coaxing her tongue with an urgency unlike anything she'd felt since they first met in 1945. A moan that neared painful sounded in her ears as Jasper's lips broke from hers. The sound was different, less gravelly than she expected but still familiar. When Alice felt bare skin rise and fall rapidly against hers, and soft lips upon her forehead, she froze.

"I should let you sleep. I should let you sleep," the voice called repeatedly as if trying to convince itself of doing something it did not want to do.

Alice's eyes sprang open to see her husband lying atop of her. His eyes were closed in either concentration or prayer. The music had silenced, the only sound in the room was the air moving rapidly in and out of their lungs.

"Jasper?" Alice asked as her hand reached up to sift through the long curls at the crown of his head.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I couldn't help myself. I know it was a long day yesterday and I should let you sleep. After all the reception lasted past dusk, and then we stayed up half the night together, but you were humming, and then you started singing," he explained through breathless gasps as if he couldn't get the words out fast enough. "And when you said you needed to share all the air that I breathed, and I—I couldn't wait any longer."

As if to give evidence to this statement, Jasper's hips rolled forward demonstrating his growing need.

Alice moaned feeling her own body spark to life beneath his.

_Oh God._

Her addled mind overtaken by lust allowed her fingers to wrap themselves tightly in his curls forcing his lips to return to hers. Alice's hand traced his scar, then moved over his shoulder and back reveling in the defined muscles she found there. She followed down his lower back, tracing his spine until her fingers grazed over his firm hind end. She squeezed hard, eliciting both a jump and what sounded like a squeak from Jasper.

"What was that?"

Jasper had good reason to ask, Alice had never been this forward. Though they'd been intimate for about a month, she'd never acted quite like this.

"Just testing," Alice grinned. "You really are young and firm. You're real."

"Of course I'm young. You robbed the cradle when you married me, re—"

He never got a chance to finish that thought. Alice's sensual caresses made the words flitter from his mind.

"Good God, Alice, I'm never going to make it inside you."

Alice smiled devilishly, enjoying the power and control she had at the moment. Her ministrations quickly won out over Jasper's control. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him hard, digging her heels into the back of his thighs. His body began moving against hers until he finally tensed, releasing himself in both mind and body to her.

"Wow," he breathed, his lips pressed to her forehead. "I couldn't think there for a minute."

Both their bodies shook with laughter at the honesty of Jasper's words. The movement drew out the last of the overwhelming sensations coursing through Jasper. He ended his laughter with a final groan of pleasure. They lay there quietly pressed against one another until Jasper left the bed to clean himself up. He returned a few moments later, to lovingly do the same for his wife.

Jasper lay sated with Alice's body wrapped around his and began combing his fingers through her hair. He was thoughtful in his blissful state until his hand stilled mid stroke.

"Why did you ask if I was real, if I was young? Were you having another nightmare about me not making it home?"

"No, nothing like that," Alice said, turning her head so her chin rested upon Jasper's chest. "I just realized it wasn't real. That it was a dream, or maybe something between a dream and a prayer."

"What was, Alice?"

"Us."

"I'm trying hard to follow, darlin', but you're not making much sense here."

"I dreamed we were old."

"Old?"

"Yes, old. We were in our eighties. We were at a dance for World War Two veterans," Alice smiled at all the dream had encompassed. "It was a very _good_ dream."

"Was I nice looking? You know as an old man?"

Alice laughed, not too surprised that that would be his first question. He was teasing her while looking to inflate his ego at the same time.

"You were quite a looker…for an old timer," she teased.

Seemingly satisfied that Alice still found him appealing well into his eighties, Jasper paused to consider his next question carefully before he asked it.

"Did I still run the farm?"

"No, you'd given that up years before."

Alice could feel the dejection in Jasper's body as he slumped.

"But we still lived here and most importantly we were _very_ happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Alice said with a tone of conviction.

"Did we have kids?" Jasper asked hopefully.

Alice nodded and lifted three fingers. Jasper smiled but the look in his eyes seemed to say Jasper had hoped for more.

"Then there were seven grandkids and nine great grandkids. But I think there was a set of twins due the following spring."

"Wow," Jasper said, quite stunned by the revelation.

He seemed to deliberate for a moment before rolling over and positioning himself gleefully on top of Alice. With a quick pull of the covers he dove beneath them and began nibbling Alice's bare stomach. She squirmed a bit then moaned as he traveled up to the swell of her breast.

"You're taking that promise to keep me in bed all day very seriously," Alice said between gasps for breath.

Jasper popped his head out from under the covers, smiling at the promise he'd made shortly after they said their "I do's". His hair was deliciously disheveled, flopping this way and that. His love for her was written all over his handsome face, shining as bright as the morning sun.

"Well, we've got a lot of work ahead of us," Jasper said with a rueful grin as he waggled his eyebrows. "I figured we could get a good start on making your dream come true."

Alice took Jasper's face in her hands. His eyes were dancing with happiness making Alice's heart swell. She smiled right back at him.

_Silly boy,_ she thought.

"You already have."

_The End_

* * *

_A/N: I had the amazing opportunity to join an Honor Flight, a few weeks ago. That trip served as the inspiration for this final chapter. I have loved writing this story and am truly grateful for it because it sparked an interest in history I didn't have before. It's because of that spark I took the opportunity to be a Guardian on an Honor Flight honoring WWII and Korean War vets. This trip was truly one of the most inspiring events I've ever experienced. Trust me when I say that reading about history is one thing, seeing it through the eyes of those who lived it is beyond compare. There are numerous Honor Flight groups throughout the country, I highly encourage anyone interested to support this group either by volunteering, donating or by encouraging a vet you know to sign up for a trip. I spent one day in the service of others and what I received in return was paid back to me one hundred fold. If you're interested in hearing more or seeing some of my photos from the trip, you can find them on my blog, the link is on my profile and at the bottom of this author's note._

_Thank you again for reading, reviewing and encouraging me throughout this journey._

_All the best,_

_-First Blush_

_Honor Flight photo link is in the first comment: http:/firstblushes(dot)livejournal(dot)com/8769(dot)html#comments_

_P.S. Ten thousand points to anyone who can tell me the significance of the tribute that Bella left at the WWII memorial. (hint, this comes from TLB)_

* * *

**The Long Way Home ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **chapter 39 Between A Dream and a Prayer

**Story reference: **Alice describes the sights of the World War II Memorial in Washington DC.

**Historical Significance: **The WWII memorial wasn't completed until 2004, years after the Vietnam, and Korean War memorials were complete.

**Source: **http:/buell(dot)edublogs(dot)org/files/2008/04/ap_w_war2_memorial(dot)jpg

http:/www(dot)wwiimemorial(dot)com/default(dot)asp?page=pictures(dot)asp&subpage=

http:/www(dot)wwiimemorial(dot)com/default(dot)asp?page=&subpage=intro

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice mentions that even Kilroy was memorialized in the WWII monument.

**Historical Significance: **Kilroy was a symbol to US forces and civilians alike of US presence in a recaptured territory or hard fought battle. The image was left behind for others to see and recognize.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Kilroy_was_here

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper and Alice take an Honor Flight with other WWII veterans to see their memorial and other war memorials in D.C.

**Historical Significance: **Honor Flight is a non profit organization that takes WWII veterans on a one day trip to see the war memorials in Washington DC. More information can be found on their website.

**Source: **http:/honorflightdayton(dot)org/

http:/www(dot)honorflight(dot)org/programs/index(dot)cfm?s=TX#map - West Texas Honor Flight (Abilene, TX)

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice mentions being frustrated by being accosted by TSA agents. Wondering why they'd have interest in an old man's Bengay

**Historical Significance: **The therapeutic ointment called Ben-Gay prior to 1995 was developed in France back in 1898.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Bengay -

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice describes visiting the state monument of Maryland with Bella.

**Historical Significance: **The circle of state pillars surrounding monument are listed in the order in which they were given statehood.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/List_of_U(dot)S(dot)_states_by_date_of_statehood

* * *

**Story reference: **Jasper remarks that Charlie would have been mad that General Patton didn't have a quote etched into the WWII Memorial

**Historical Significance: **Quotes from President Roosevelt, General McArthur, General Eisenhower and General Marshal among others are preserved in the memorial.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)defense(dot)?id=26385

memorial quotes.

http:/www(dot)military-quotes(dot)com/Patton(dot)htm quotes from General Patton.

* * *

**Story reference: **The dance honoring the Pathfinders and their survivors is hosted at the Cannon Office building in Washington D.C.

**Historical Significance: **The Cannon House Office Building, completed in 1908, is the oldest congressional office building as well as a significant example of the Beaux Arts style of architecture. The Caucus Room on the building's third floor is the scene of numerous ceremonies and functions

**Source: **http:/www(dot)aoc(dot)gov/cc/cobs/chob_caucus_rm_1(dot)cfm

The image is of a Pathfinder patch described on the banner of the USO dance.

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/File:_Pathfinder(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Victor describes finding Jasper after he posted a response to a D-Day article published in _Time _Magazine

**Historical Significance: **A series of Time magazine articles on D-Day describing the events of the day, personal stories and the national climate during and after the war.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)time(dot)com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,994282-2,00(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Alice hears a song that pulls at her memories and out to the dance floor with Jasper

**Historical Significance: **Rene Olmstead – I want a love that will last.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=WA-4iawLy9I


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